FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > guys that are too pushy
guys that are too pushy
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By *usty OP Woman
over a year ago
inverclyde |
why do some guys think that after one message you are gonna meet them and jump into bed, had that tonight but told him i meet as and when i can and with whom, he then told me to take my attitude and fuck right off then blocked me, my profile clearly states that will only meet as and when i can |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why do some guys think that after one message you are gonna meet them and jump into bed, had that tonight but told him i meet as and when i can and with whom, he then told me to take my attitude and fuck right off then blocked me, my profile clearly states that will only meet as and when i can"
We had a single guy contact us and in his second message said that he'd sent us a friends request that we HAD to accept so that he would know what we looked like when we met. I told him we wouldn't be meeting and like you, we got a lot of abuse, told us our profile was misleading so I pointed out to him that our profile states what we want it to and isn't his or anyone elses business and it hasn't been a problem to anyone else. His problem I think  |
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By *arkNDeeCouple
over a year ago
doncaster |
This is why we don't want single guys contacting us, we are on another site and we get shed loads of messages wanting Dee to go meeting them on her own and get really rude at times when we say no.
We will contact selected guys when we want to meet one  ... and not be pestered harassed or made to feel bad.
To the original Poster, its his loss not yours  |
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I am utterly baffled by these guys who do this.
I will message someone,and if I dont get a reply, then just man up & move on. I,for one, know I am not everyone's (anyone's???)cup of tea, and I know & respect everyone's right to just ignore any other given person. To chase someone, even once,is crazy. And then insulting them, after thinking at first they were good enough, is even worse. Good old block button-they deserve it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest, most single guys are very, very polite. It's just the odd one here and there who give them all a bad name. We've just had another guy call me sarcastic as he contacted us but he cannot accomodate, so I pointed out that the top line of our profile states we cannot accomodate, and only meet singles at their own house. All I said was another single guy not bothering to read. Well Ok maybe a tad sarcastic!!!! Lynne |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thank heavens for the block option lol
I actually feel sorry for the good guys because I tend to be really wary of all men now just waiting for the 'meet' msgs. Also can't understand why guys feel the need to add their mobile numbers on first msgs. I wouldn't dream of giving my number to just anyone! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest, most single guys are very, very polite. It's just the odd one here and there who give them all a bad name. We've just had another guy call me sarcastic as he contacted us but he cannot accomodate, so I pointed out that the top line of our profile states we cannot accomodate, and only meet singles at their own house. All I said was another single guy not bothering to read. Well Ok maybe a tad sarcastic!!!! Lynne"
sometimes, it has to be done. takes just a few minutes to read someones profile. I ask that they use a password when contacting me so i know they've read it but they still ask stupid questions lol |
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By *usty OP Woman
over a year ago
inverclyde |
my profile does clearly state that i meet as and when i can, and i will meet who i want as well but he was all set to book a hotel room and when i said that i dont jump into bed after one message thats when he told me to fcuk off..... then blocked me, couldnt take the rejection lol his loss not mine |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
I had someone send a one like header like I'd fuk you and then a message but hadnt read all my profile. Really couldnt take my reply and leave it at that so he carried on and on. He wasnt rude at all which was good but still he wasnt standing out for good reason,but all bad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What annoys me is the guys that message as soon as they seem we're online. It feels like im being stalked, that I have to try and sneak into fab without them seeing me. I had to block one guy cos everytime he saw we were online he would message saying are you free to chat or cam. They always message within a minute of us coming online too, i find it really offputting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunatley whilst the number of pushy guys is relatively low this is a common problem on most swingers sites.
Would couples or ladies be willing to report such guys so as to help clean the site of them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We get that kind of abuse all the time, but still a minority and not just from single guys but couples too, we just block them and report the mail, usually within the hour thier profile has been suspended or removed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We get that kind of abuse all the time, but still a minority and not just from single guys but couples too, we just block them and report the mail, usually within the hour thier profile has been suspended or removed"
Jed this question is mainly for you. Do you find that guys message you but when they realise it is you online and not Sasha, that they dont want to talk to you. Or do they address messages just to Sasha and not include you at all, almost like your a hindrance being there. My guy always gets messages like, "oh its you, we were hoping it was her" . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In all honesty not as much as we used to, guys always used to assume (for some unknown reason) that it is always Sasha online but of late the mails do tend to be aimed at whichever of us is online.
Some guys say they just want to chat and I always tell them I am happy to chat so long as they understand that Sasha doesn't reply to any mails personally and that we won't meet guys off the internet, some send a few more "chat" mails then dissapear forever some never even reply. I guess a 55 year old twat wasn't really what they hoped for lol.
We always respond to all mails we get but that's personal choice we don't feel everyone should. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Remember to block those who have blocked you back, so that they cannot send you messages by lifting their block, and block you afterwards so that you cannot reply to them.
Very cowardly behaviour for certain! |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
"Unfortunatley whilst the number of pushy guys is relatively low this is a common problem on most swingers sites.
Would couples or ladies be willing to report such guys so as to help clean the site of them?"
2 problems with that.
1. ban 1, 3 more join.
2. Rude, pushy, ignorant, etc guys are really good news for the ones who arent because it makes them stand out against the crowd and makes them look all the better by comparison.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I cant forgive rudeness in response to rejection, however a block is not always a petulant act. I find blocking is a good way of making sure you dont contact somebody again who has not replied or has turned you down politely.
Barry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is the rude pushey guys who cause most couples to block all single guys. I have no problems with anyone saying thanks but no thanks. Why do people have to be so aggressive and rude? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This small minority of single guys always gives us genuine guys a bad name, and as said makes ladies somewhat weary of us "
Hate to be the one to say this, but its not a small minority any longer, its becoming the norm! It wasn't as bad when I joined the site 12 months ago and I agree in some cases it doesn't help the genuine single guys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get a lot of grief off SM's on this site, but I think its because its free.
The other site I belonged to was a paid membership, and I didnt get hardly any crap of the SM's then. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This small minority of single guys always gives us genuine guys a bad name, and as said makes ladies somewhat weary of us
Hate to be the one to say this, but its not a small minority any longer, its becoming the norm! It wasn't as bad when I joined the site 12 months ago and I agree in some cases it doesn't help the genuine single guys "
Have to agree with you,we meet single guys for 4 years off here and they have all been lovely but we have had the abusive emails if we dont reply straight away or if we get an email saying "free now fancy a fuck" when ive replied saying we have kids cant just drop things ive been called a fat slag,or been told they were only going to do me a favour as no one else would have to fuck me,we have had worse too one guy created another 2 profiles because we said no... The list goes on lol
Now we are thinking that we wont meet any guys off here anymore because of it,would still meet at clubs ect but seriously thinking about blocking guys. |
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By *ibrosMan
over a year ago
harrow |
"Because they're idiots...and thank goodness, in the minority.
I'm lucky- I just have to point out I have a rootie and they back off sharpish "
I was thinking 'buck tooth?' 'a tail?' Then saw your correction. Shame, 'rootie' had my imagination working overtime |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
"Now we are thinking that we wont meet any guys off here anymore because of it,would still meet at clubs ect but seriously thinking about blocking guys."
Understand all you say and sympathise with the abuse you've had...
but...
I've seen the way some single men behave in clubs - are you sure that's going to solve it? OK, they won't be abusive, but they'll be deeply inappropriate (I'm sure you have experiences to back this up).
Twats will be twats.... |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"It's not just single guys who are pushy! "
Shhhhhhhhhh! Please don't tell me guys and single girls can be pushy also? Next you'll assume single girls and couples can't possibly be timewasters either! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Now we are thinking that we wont meet any guys off here anymore because of it,would still meet at clubs ect but seriously thinking about blocking guys.
Understand all you say and sympathise with the abuse you've had...
but...
I've seen the way some single men behave in clubs - are you sure that's going to solve it? OK, they won't be abusive, but they'll be deeply inappropriate (I'm sure you have experiences to back this up).
Twats will be twats...."
Yeah thats true,some guys in clubs are a pain..
Thing is its always the guys who think because this is a swing site then women are going to drop there knickers as soon as they send a message,they think they are going to get a shag every night of the week,then when they get a knock back they take it badly
I am not anti men,as i said before been meeting guys on here since we joined but there are a minority who do spoil it for the nice genuine guys on here x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why do some guys think that after one message you are gonna meet them and jump into bed, had that tonight but told him i meet as and when i can and with whom, he then told me to take my attitude and fuck right off then blocked me, my profile clearly states that will only meet as and when i can"
We have had a couple that pushy a lot. I hate to think how bad it could be for a single woman. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have to agree some guys are pushy.
bi guys emailing straight guys often in my experience get aggressive when politely told no thanks.
but it has to be said i try to be nice to everyone i chat to and all i meet say im a friendly guy. but i have noticed if your nice people will treat you like crap.
which seems to go along the lines 'good guys finish last'
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
some very pushy guys.
some very pushy females.
some very pushy couples.
each reap what they sow..
I have seen a few fems throw themselves at newbies to point score over their rivals... often within hours of the guys joining the site... then the guy gets the 'I am obviously god gift attitude' and wants to meet other fems and/or they think everyone on here is gagging for it ... and they start to behave like knobs, all hell breaks loose... rants in the daily updates, chat rooms and cat fights...
only trying to balance it up a bit... but agree some totally unacceptably pushy guys..
have seen the same from couples also where they think a particular single guys should be exclusive to them...
no offence to anyone, just my 2p worth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"some very pushy guys.
some very pushy females.
some very pushy couples.
each reap what they sow..
I have seen a few fems throw themselves at newbies to point score over their rivals... often within hours of the guys joining the site... then the guy gets the 'I am obviously god gift attitude' and wants to meet other fems and/or they think everyone on here is gagging for it ... and they start to behave like knobs, all hell breaks loose... rants in the daily updates, chat rooms and cat fights...
only trying to balance it up a bit... but agree some totally unacceptably pushy guys..
have seen the same from couples also where they think a particular single guys should be exclusive to them...
no offence to anyone, just my 2p worth "
no i think you make some interesting points. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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oh it happens
i had one guy want to meet me straight away at about 4am one morning i said no as i had kids in bed and his reply was "we can stay downstairs, i'll be quiet" so i told him to bugger off and he called me a time waster as i wasnt here to meet lol
i find them desparatly funny |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's very true that it's not just single guys who do it, couples and single woman can be as bad, the block button is a great function and once someone is blocked you have nothing more to do with them simples .
I've had messages from couples and singles I don't want to meet that are just very offensive and earn them an instant block.
Any site like this will give some the amount of attention they have never seen before and some do think whichever single guy they message will run right over to them and be grateful, thankfully there are some great people from all groups on here.
Weed out the fakes and the full of themselves folk and you will find some really nice ones.
Good luck |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
"I cant forgive rudeness in response to rejection, however a block is not always a petulant act. I find blocking is a good way of making sure you dont contact somebody again who has not replied or has turned you down politely.
Barry."
Barry I wish more people would think of it that way. It is annoying when you get mail from someone and you mail and reply saying no thanks as.....reason and then 2 months later you get the same mail with same pic from same person....waste of their time and mine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Alot of the men on sites like this are lovely. You just get some who are strange and have hangups with life .... most are just normal horny people having fun some get turned down so much thay can get rude feeling rejected .... if a person is nasty get rude mail fab about it as you could just be one of a number thay are doing this too and block them. Some lovely men out there on fab x jo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree, the vast majority of people here are lovely, the ones who cause the problems have usually made no investment in the lifestyle and are chancing it.
New members can be forgiven for asking to meet outright, they often make the mistake of assuming women here are simply looking for sex at any time of day! But the genuine ones learn quickly, those who continue being shirty were never going to meet in the first place, they just want the satisfaction of a woman saying yes to them and cant stand it when their egos are deflated! |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
What gets me is the pushy people, single guys AND some couples who have no pictures at all on their profile and want a meet at the drop of a hat and bombard you with messages.
It takes my wife 30 minutes to do my make up or 40 minutes if I have a stab at it. I want to know that I'm not meeting something that belongs in a zoo, or even worse someone I know 
If someone is going to send a stream of messages, I want to know if there's anything in it.
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By *andJRCouple
over a year ago
near winchester |
We have had two experiences of pushy guys in the last hour. One was considerably below our minimum age limit and we made it clear on our profile that we dont make exceptions, he however, insisted that it didnt matter what our profile said, as he was verified, he felt that was enough for us to agree to a meet. His tone was quite abrupt. The next guy messaged us, we had a look at his profile and said a polite no thanks and that we had looked at his profile as he wasnt for us and that we would like to leave it at that. We were very polite. We didnt mention that I didnt fancy him! He immediately responded and asked what was wrong with him. We decided not to reply as we didnt want to be put in a position of possibly offending him. His next message was 'cat got your tongue Mr Wanker'. Firstly Im not a Mr and secondly Im not a wanker (only on certain occasions lol). All we want to do is arrange a meet for this evening!!!! |
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By *andJRCouple
over a year ago
near winchester |
Make that 3 pushy guys!!!!
We have always thought that a polite no thanks was the best way, rather than get into any uncomfortable dialogue about why you dont want to meet with a person - however if people really want to know the truth, should we tell them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This small minority of single guys always gives us genuine guys a bad name, and as said makes ladies somewhat weary of us "
Did you really mean weary or did you mean to say wary? Personally if they havent read my profile, and its clear they havent, i dont meet them simple as that. I delete messages from anyone under my age criteria, and ive only blocked one person for their nasty reply, not bad going; one person in a year |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I cant forgive rudeness in response to rejection, however a block is not always a petulant act. I find blocking is a good way of making sure you dont contact somebody again who has not replied or has turned you down politely.
Barry.
Barry I wish more people would think of it that way. It is annoying when you get mail from someone and you mail and reply saying no thanks as.....reason and then 2 months later you get the same mail with same pic from same person....waste of their time and mine"
ive had that 3 times from a lad in his 20's, exactly the same message, reminded him yet again that his age group (not to mention that he is in Plymouth, way too far from me anyway) and blocked him the third time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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my profile says i'm not meeting..it doesnt stop the messages coming from folk that insist they have read my profile...eventually they send messages like "oh, it now says you're not meeting...does that include me?!"...they feign disbelief when i say it's been on there for a month now....
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"my profile says i'm not meeting..it doesnt stop the messages coming from folk that insist they have read my profile...eventually they send messages like "oh, it now says you're not meeting...does that include me?!"...they feign disbelief when i say it's been on there for a month now....
"
I'm convinced, some of them cannot read! |
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By *r-MissCouple
over a year ago
Derbyshire |
We have often wondered if it is best to send a thanks but no thanks message or whether it is best just to delete the mail.
Sometimes people want to know the truth of why you do not want to meet them, and this often leaves the dilema of should you explain why you do not want a meet (and risk the possibilty of a nasty message back) or just delete the message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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had many messages just deleted and a few "no thanks", just means I'm not what they're looking for, I don't get my back up about it, just move on, don't know why more single males can't do the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a single guy.
I quite often send messages to either single ladies or couples trying to break the ice.
In many instances, that first reply is as far as it gets.
Once Or twice i have mailed the person back but again, not intentionally been pushy.
Usually I take a no (even a no reply) as sorry and leave it at that.
After all, I'm looking for a certain specifc, as are the people I may contact.
an attraction as to be two way and often it does need to be built up also by communications, social meets etc.
I think anyone who thinks that a one line message to someone is instantly going to have them dropping their knickers and saying come on over, well they obviously must still be 14 year old minds watching porn...real world, that just doesn't happen.
Every knock-back I get, just get on the horse and keep trying, but people been abusive, well I hope they do get named and shamed and get blocked.
another recent post I commented on, I suggested that these peoples attitudes affect other decent single guy's chance and I got knocked back for saying that...
I know genuine people do shine through, but it's really bad when people get downhearted becuase they receive abuse from people "JUST COS THEY WONT SHAG THERE AND THEN"
Anyway...thats my piece to the discussion.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We were sent a message the other day by a single guy while we were also having a conversation with somebody else Because we didn't reply instantly he came back with, no reply suppose you're not interested!!! Can't believe some people, they think they are the only ones on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thats just daft.
bit like people who text you and then get miffed if you haven't replied, thats the great thing about E-Mail and text.
"they are not conversations", becuase both parties are not actually needed to be present.
A lot of toruble is often caused by emails and text, context wrong, double meanings to phrases, people picking up on the wrong words.
Sad that people put so much weight onto emails and texts.
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