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In Person Vs Online: The Good & The Bad

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I am fairly new to the scene and have found it interesting how ineffective the online system can be in actually making a connection as opposed to meeting at events or clubs. It's strange because the advent of the internet has made this kind of lifestyle far more accessible. What I feel it does do is exacerbate many who are in need of attention in whatever form it takes regardless of whether it means misrepresenting themselves in the process and never actually meeting anyone. I don't want indict the online experience because I have actually been very successful with it, but the amount of ing out is insane at times. From fake profiles, to fake pictures, to insane amounts of interrogation to then all plans falling apart. For busy people this can be a pain! This is supposed to be fun! Interested in what folks think. I have been on both sides as a couple and as a single and it isn't actually that much different. I am new to FABS. Signed up a while ago but only started using it a few days ago. It's been...entertaining so far.

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By *adybee77Woman over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

wow, OP, sorry people have not been able to drop their plans and get in line with what suits you...

I've found fab a great site, and had some wonderful meets.

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I am fairly new to the scene and have found it interesting how ineffective the online system can be in actually making a connection as opposed to meeting at events or clubs. It's strange because the advent of the internet has made this kind of lifestyle far more accessible. What I feel it does do is exacerbate many who are in need of attention in whatever form it takes regardless of whether it means misrepresenting themselves in the process and never actually meeting anyone. I don't want indict the online experience because I have actually been very successful with it, but the amount of ing out is insane at times. From fake profiles, to fake pictures, to insane amounts of interrogation to then all plans falling apart. For busy people this can be a pain! This is supposed to be fun! Interested in what folks think. I have been on both sides as a couple and as a single and it isn't actually that much different. I am new to FABS. Signed up a while ago but only started using it a few days ago. It's been...entertaining so far."

Jolly good?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Accept it for what it is because it'll never change. Manage your expectations wisely. Use your instincts to guide you judgements. There's plenty of fun to be had it just all takes a little time and patience.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I understand what you are saying and didn't think you were expecting people to drop everything for you. I agree with the comments about people garnering attention and not wanting to meet. Those people should stick to the forums and not entice people into long conversations with no intentions of meeting. That is the downfall of the site for me but,on the whole,I've found it to be rewarding. I am a woman though.

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I am fairly new to the scene and have found it interesting how ineffective the online system can be in actually making a connection as opposed to meeting at events or clubs.

It's strange because the advent of the internet has made this kind of lifestyle far more accessible. What I feel it does do is exacerbate many who are in need of attention in whatever form it takes regardless of whether it means misrepresenting themselves in the process and never actually meeting anyone.

I don't want indict the online experience because I have actually been very successful with it, but the amount of ing out is insane at times. From fake profiles, to fake pictures, to insane amounts of interrogation to then all plans falling apart. For busy people this can be a pain! This is supposed to be fun! Interested in what folks think.

I have been on both sides as a couple and as a single and it isn't actually that much different. I am new to FABS. Signed up a while ago but only started using it a few days ago. It's been...entertaining so far."

i think that you are overthinking the process..... but a nice way to insult a lot of people in the middle.... way to go....

I always say to people if you think a process isn't working, change it!!! but you said that you are having success... so either you are being greedy and wanting more, or you have come into swinging with unrealistic expectations

I say to people, time, patience, basic common sense....

the post doesn't really scream "patience" sorry... it just doesn't, it almost feels petulant.... and we will see "the backtrack" dance if people noticed the middle insult...

people get one chance to make a great 1st impression.... i am not sure this is it!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hm interesting reaction from some. This is simply a question to spark a conversation about something a lot of people have experienced in the scene. As I noted it isn't as if I have been unsuccessful but more to do with the amount of sifting that needs to be done and why people feel the need to deceive. If you don't deceive then it is not an insult to you in any way shape or form. I can't understand how anyone can read what I said and have an issue unless you mis represent yourself online.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Agreed. This is just for conversation. As in anything, you have to just make of it what you will and can.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I don't understand. When did I say anyone had to drop plans? I said that we have busy lives and people pretending to be someone else, misrepresenting or simply seeking attention with no desire to meet can be tough on those that are not. I am not sure how you got what you did from my statement.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Exactly! It is what pushes people away. I have tried many sites and it is something many have complained about hence why I brought it up. It's the reason why so many sites have been implementing verification processes but even then they get circumvented.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Wow you really misunderstood my post.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

If you're responding to a post, quote the post.

I believe that internet dating or shagging is not as simple as everyone thinks, and there will always be people who chicken out last minute. Personally I prefer club meets because I don't have the time to swap messages for days just for them to go UNLOS. But I still love this site.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If you're responding to a post, quote the post.

Ah sorry my mistake. Yes I prefer clubs and parties. I am on other sites and find the complaints the same across the board with the online experience. I just don't understand why it is so prevalent. I have been the victim of it and it isn't a pleasant experience.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Op , you have made some very interesting points and put them very well .

The forums are full of the type of people who revel in the social side of swinging , which is of course their choice .

Others like us are on fab to meet and and have fun , which is our choice .

Some will meet at the drop of a hat , others won't .

Chat with those you feel are more your type and you will do well .

Oh and ignore the forum posters who misunderstand your posts . It's not worth the hassle

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I saw no insult here. I saw a very valid point. I have had couples go off site after getting close to meet date and another time been blocked. All after seemingly getting on great during the lead up chat and after agreeing meet times and place. If that doesn't smack of timewasters I don't know what does. That was my only experience for the first year on here and I was close to giving up. I then arranged a social meet earlier this year and whilst she did show it was 5 hours later than originally planned. Long story which I'm not going to go into here. The meet lasted 20 mins before she got a call to leave! Thankfully I made two very good friends on here and met both. One as literally a friend but still. They have obviously restored my faith. Have also spoke to a few forum regulars recently and my experience of fab is now much better. But I could so easily have deleted my account. Fab is very much a different experience for everyone. It's not all rosey and it's not all bad either. One has only their own experience to go on. The op has said he has had some success and some bad experiences. My time here mirrors that. No insult. Valid point.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Op , you have made some very interesting points and put them very well .

The forums are full of the type of people who revel in the social side of swinging , which is of course their choice .

Others like us are on fab to meet and and have fun , which is our choice .

Some will meet at the drop of a hat , others won't .

Chat with those you feel are more your type and you will do well .

Oh and ignore the forum posters who misunderstand your posts . It's not worth the hassle

Thank you for this very observant answer. I appreciate you taking my post how it was intended. To start a dialogue. It was not meant to insult anyone but those who engage in deception. For us it can be really difficult to deal with when trying to enjoy the system, and FAB is a great system.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am fairly new to the scene and have found it interesting how ineffective the online system can be in actually making a connection as opposed to meeting at events or clubs.

i think that you are overthinking the process..... but a nice way to insult a lot of people in the middle.... way to go....

I say to people, time, patience, basic common sense....

the post doesn't really scream "patience" sorry... it just doesn't, it almost feels petulant.... and we will see "the backtrack" dance if people noticed the middle insult...

people get one chance to make a great 1st impression.... i am not sure this is it!!!"

I didn't read anything insulting

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I always get paranoid that I come across better on a screen than I do in real life. Like I won't meet peoples expectations. I suppose I do otherwise I wouldn't get repeat meets but I do worry all the same.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fab does work. It works for me. But I only contact verified people like my self. If they have no verifications I dont bother, I have had the experience of timewasters it is a pain in the arse. And the pics they have been sent are either from 10 years ago or totally nothing like them now, people should be honest rather than bullshit. As I take the time and trouble to look good, smell good and be presentable which I am always. But when I get a no show and its when I can accommodate as have no house mates in. Iits really annoying and pissesme off but when I pay for a top hotel with champagne. And no show then its really annoying. So just click with verified people as they have been verified by other swingers.

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By *ohjaneCouple over a year ago

south staffs

- And even verified people get cold feet / dead phone battery / sick granny . . .

There will always be people who don't do what they say they will.

In this on-line world lots of people have access to information, attention, debate and subjects that they might not otherwise see/hear/access. Some people love the chase or the fantasy but cannot cope with or would never be seen dead actually doing it.

Ant then there are the folks who just have too much time on their hands . . . . .

Live your own life but try to be honest with yourself and with others whose lives you may touch.

Have fun.

Jane x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Interesting perspectives here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Anyone who is misleading anyone else should not do so. But I am one of those garnering attention while not meeting most of the time. However I'm clear about this on my profile and with anyone who messages me. It takes a lot of effort and patience to meet me and I make no apologies for that. I'm not sure I hamper anyone's online experience as a result though.

If I just wanted a quick shag I'd go to a club and get one. I don't though, so I won't.

Is that the difference? It's not that it's more difficult to make a connection in an online situation, it's that people who choose to meet from online instead of clubs/parties/socials are doing it specifically because they WANT something that's a bit more effort?

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