FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Advice please
Advice please
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I had a meet yesterday and pre meet I asked does he have any condoms he said yes and I think my profile makes it clear about safe sex
Anyway we got naked and he gets on top and enters me I said are you not going to use something he smiled carried on I ask him again but he carried on so I then said you better not cum up me
Fortunately he didn't and came on me but still I left feeling rather upset
Is there anything I should have done or said
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Advice?
You could take the statement off your profile about safe sex, as you clearly don't live by it.
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Stuck the heel of your shoe into his groin the selfish unrespectfull cu*t |
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Yes stick to what you say ...no condom no sex no excuse!
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Asking before he started would of been a better plan. A man doesn't have to cum inside you for you to catch anything. I'm a bit shocked if you truly practice Safer sex that you just let him carry on tbh. He should of been made to stop straight away. I always carry my own condoms too just in case they forget. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You should have kicked his arse out of the door the first time tried to enter you without the condom. But clearly, your safe sex only statement carries very little weight as you allowed him to continue.
Advice, morning after pill and a trip to GUM in a few weeks time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd have said; Get the fuck off me!!. I've done this in the past, not a condom issue but he tried to fuck my arse when I'd already told him no! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry you had to go through that op. For future meets provide your own.  |
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You could have made him stop and ask him to leave. Which is what I do when a guy has tried to avoid using a condom.
I don't let a cock (literal & metaphorical) near me without wearing a condom.
The standard response I get from guys when I ask them what the fuck they think they're doing is that other girls say safe sex but never insist.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry you had to experience this, OP, however it sadly isn't uncommon for guys to try to get started with no condom on. These tend to be the guys who think with their dicks rather than their heads.
You should have pushed him off you and told him to get out.
As others have advised, morning after pill and a full sexual health MOT for you. And buy your own condoms. |
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Best advice OP what a bastard some guys out there just think they can do what they like  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just wow...
If you was 18 i'd call it naivety (thinking your ok because he never came in you) but god damn woman...your a 40yr old!
When do you start learning if your still asking questions like this at 40???  |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
You could have said "Stop" and stopped it.
I would have never let him near enough to do anything without a condom on.
As it is, now please do the right thing for yourself - get the morning after pill, get checked, and stop meeting until you get the all clear.
He doesn't need to cum in you for him to pass something on, and if you continue meeting, you could be transmitting something too.
Why on earth did you let him continue? |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
Oh, and either buy or get your own supply of condoms at the clinic... compared to the cost of being ill - they cost pennies.
It is everyone's responsibility to look after their own health. |
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Get yourself some emergency contraception and a visit to the GUM clinic. I can't believe he actually entered you before you asked if he was going to use a condom. I find a firmly clamped shut pair of legs are a good deterrent before the condom is on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a meet yesterday and pre meet I asked does he have any condoms he said yes and I think my profile makes it clear about safe sex
Anyway we got naked and he gets on top and enters me I said are you not going to use something he smiled carried on I ask him again but he carried on so I then said you better not cum up me
Fortunately he didn't and came on me but still I left feeling rather upset
Is there anything I should have done or said
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No means no .
You just asked him if was gonna use a condom ?
Then he carried on without ...
Why didn't you insist he stopped ?
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This happens more then you realise OP if you are unable to be firm enough on this instance, what makes you think you can on another?? It's down to you to be safe and if you were to put the condom on for him, there's no mistaking he's wearing one. If he's gone bare with you; he has with others. Time to re think your strategy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its some of your fault, this is common sense the ways you could have prevented it :- bring ur own condoms, kick him off you, ask him ''does he have them'' before you both went at it, the safe sex thing on your profile carries nothing |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
[Removed by poster at 11/05/15 09:42:11] |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
my initial though was kick him in the balls.....
its all well and good blaming him... but this is one of those situations where it takes two.. and you gave in
maybe this is about respect... the amount of respect that he had for you.... and the amount of respect you had for your own body...
there is always the option of saying no..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 11/05/15 09:51:48] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have your condoms out before play even starts. I chuck mine on the bed while i'm getting dressed in my bedroom, and have more at the side of it.
If you agree to use condoms and then change your mind yourself i think that's fair enough but if you feel pressured not to use one and you want to then you really need to insist on the play stopping.
I don't think people should have a go at her for this, i'm her age and well aware of how men can be manipulative pricks at times and how women my age have roots in an era where women felt they had no choices and felt have to be submissive to men.
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Someone tried to do this to me once. I booted him off me and booted him out of the hotel room stark bollock naked still with a hard on.
Get some respect for yourself. |
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I have come to realise a lot of guys 'want to use a condom' but always rely on other party to provide..excuses like 'shop shut' ' don't want other half to find out etc'..I always have a supply and encourage guys to take some.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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good god hun if that was me but as im not female its not going to be me but if you did say on the meet that's it he was told think the push away and tell again or knee in the nuts and walk off might be in order . |
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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago
Staffordshire Moorlands |
Oh my goodness
I mean, yea the guy was well out of order but how many times are you going to let that happen?? |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
So, you've have 20 meets so it's not like this is your first. You are asking questions like you've never seen a dick before, nevermind had sex. Why did you let him get on top of you? Moreso, why did you let him enter then let him carry on? A get the fuck off me right now, would check any man's head, instead you trusted him to near enough completion. People probably have had this, during the course of making babies, to answer a question. |
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"I had a meet yesterday and pre meet I asked does he have any condoms he said yes and I think my profile makes it clear about safe sex
Anyway we got naked and he gets on top and enters me I said are you not going to use something he smiled carried on I ask him again but he carried on so I then said you better not cum up me
Fortunately he didn't and came on me but still I left feeling rather upset
Is there anything I should have done or said
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Well more fool you for allowing it to carry on |
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Advice... carry your own condoms and ensure he wears one before enters you! How or why you let that happen is beyond me. |
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we reap what we sow...Altho the guy is a prick perhaps you should
consider a course of assertiveness training. |
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By *bovethekneeCouple
over a year ago
Hampshire / Herefordshire |
For us, putting on the condom would be part of the play. Worried about safe sex only on profiles if it means safe sex only unless you don't feel like it. |
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I always carry my own, so there's no "I forgot/left them at home" excuses.
And I carry plenty in case one 'accidentally' comes off  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What a car crash!
Although the OP is partly to blame (two to tango etc.) technically she still has grounds to claim that he raped her!
http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/p_to_r/rape_and_sexual_offences/consent/#a07
Let this be a lesson to us guys... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why did u let him carry on? Soon as u realised he hadn't bagged up u should have given him a swift kick off of u and out the door for even trying it 
Go get yourself the morning after pill and get yourself checked out in a couple of weeks time...and seriously stick to what u say on ur profile or change it...also stock up on condoms we have a big box full in my toy drawer and always make sure there's a couple to hand before anyone gets here x |
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"What a car crash!
Although the OP is partly to blame (two to tango etc.) technically she still has grounds to claim that he raped her!
http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/p_to_r/rape_and_sexual_offences/consent/#a07
Let this be a lesson to us guys... "
She allowed him to carry on knowing full well that he wasn't wearing a condom. It's not like she didn't find out till afterwards and he had lied about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is so wrong. Female swingers worst nightmare. Firstly get your self checked out. If he did this to you how many has this happened to. I would also sustain from any form of sexual intercourse until you are 110% free from any STD. better to be safe dear, I think you should report the person to fab admin and explain your situation.
This is what pisses me of about single blokes they moan when they cant get a meet and then do this what a tosser youselfish knob!
If you gonna swing play safe. Dont blame it on the heat of the moment.  |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"This is so wrong. Female swingers worst nightmare. Firstly get your self checked out. If he did this to you how many has this happened to. I would also sustain from any form of sexual intercourse until you are 110% free from any STD. better to be safe dear, I think you should report the person to fab admin and explain your situation.
This is what pisses me of about single blokes they moan when they cant get a meet and then do this what a tosser youselfish knob!
If you gonna swing play safe. Dont blame it on the heat of the moment. "
I am not sure what there is to be reported to admin.She gave her consent when she said "ok but don't cum in me"
I do agree that in her position, I would cancel all meets and sexual activity until I knew I was clean and clear. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is so wrong. Female swingers worst nightmare. Firstly get your self checked out. If he did this to you how maconsiderationsppened to. I would also sustain from any form of sexual intercourse until you are 110% free from any STD. better to be safe dear, I think you should report the person to fab admin and explain your situation.
This is what pisses me of about single blokes they moan when they cant get a meet and then do this what a tosser youselfish knob!
If you gonna swing play safe. Dont blame it on the heat of the moment.
I am not sure what there is to be reported to admin.She gave her consent when she said "ok but don't cum in me"
I do agree that in her position, I would cancel all meets and sexual activity until I knew I was clean and clear."
Still a man should know when no means no. From what I see he showed a lack ofrespect to the lady and did not not take her considerations. Just so he could full fill his own wishes. Swinging is about respect, hapiness and fun, all this went out the window. |
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I'm with the majority here you should have questioned him before he entered you and asked him to leave if he refused safe sex.
Don't feel pressured to carry on out of fear of disappointment he's likely done this before and will again.
Unfortunately the site itself can only do so much to protect you, ultimately it's down to you to enforce your rules.
Completely disrespectful of the guy I hope you don't leave positive feedback. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a meet yesterday and pre meet I asked does he have any condoms he said yes and I think my profile makes it clear about safe sex
Anyway we got naked and he gets on top and enters me I said are you not going to use something he smiled carried on I ask him again but he carried on so I then said you better not cum up me
Fortunately he didn't and came on me but still I left feeling rather upset
Is there anything I should have done or said
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No is quite an easy word to say! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wow...
If you was 18 i'd call it naivety (thinking your ok because he never came in you) but god damn woman...your a 40yr old!
When do you start learning if your still asking questions like this at 40??? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is so wrong. Female swingers worst nightmare. Firstly get your self checked out. If he did this to you how many has this happened to. I would also sustain from any form of sexual intercourse until you are 110% free from any STD. better to be safe dear, I think you should report the person to fab admin and explain your situation.
This is what pisses me of about single blokes they moan when they cant get a meet and then do this what a tosser youselfish knob!
If you gonna swing play safe. Dont blame it on the heat of the moment. "
Report to admin? ? Doesn't sound like she wanted him to stop to me
Her |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
After reading the op I'm ....
As others have said... Your body your rules...
Hope everything works out op... For all concerned.  |
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"Still a man should know when no means no. From what I see he showed a lack ofrespect to the lady and did not not take her considerations. Just so he could full fill his own wishes. Swinging is about respect, hapiness and fun, all this went out the window."
Except she didn't say no. She said "aren't you going to use a condom?" followed by telling him not to cum in her. That's a yes.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You actually said No and he kept going. You should have kicked him in the knackers and I'd also get an STD test done pronto!
If you feel you can't assert yourself in these situations swinging will not pleasant and you ought to think about if you stay in the scene or not.
Sorry that happened to you men should behave better than that. |
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"You actually said No and he kept going. You should have kicked him in the knackers and I'd also get an STD test done pronto!
If you feel you can't assert yourself in these situations swinging will not pleasant and you ought to think about if you stay in the scene or not.
Sorry that happened to you men should behave better than that."
I'm not excusing what he did but if you read the op again she didn't say no! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agreed, I would have asked him to leave if I were in your shoes. The only other situation where a guy penetrates without listening to the other person...is rape. Unfortunately in your case you were happy to continue.
Respect and love your body...that should come first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What a bastard he was. But safe sex isn't just for contraception. Yes he didn't cum inside you but you could hsve caught an std. You're old enough to know that too so you should have made him stop. In my eyes you're partly to blame yourself by carrying it out to the end |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't believe how many people are saying she should've had her own condoms. As far as I'm concerned they either turn up with condoms or they can fuck right off. Its called being responsible ffs! If the shop is shut then so are my legs. I do carry condoms but they're just in case we run out of his. No condoms no sex. |
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By *eshzMan
over a year ago
0151 |
Hi OP hope you are well. My feedback is rather neutral to be honest... I can understand that in the heat of the moment things can tend to get carried away...so from that aspect I guess it's normal for forgoing protection. You're only human.
We all can say you could've, should've, would've done the right thing. I'm not going to say any of that as I believe your mind has already covered all those topics.
Maybe in the future just carry some condoms with you as a backup plan and if your playmate refuses to use it...just walk out. You'll feel good bout yourself for doing that and schooling the other party you mean business.
For now all I can suggest and this is only a suggestion....just go to your local sexual health clinic for a normal check...don't let your mind over think things...I'm just saying this so that in the event there is any STD it can be cured easily. Don't beat yourself up too much...we are only human and like I said in the heat of the moment we sometimes don't make the best decisions or stick by the decisions we planned to follow through.
Hope you have a pleasant day ahead and don't beat yourself too much about this. The other party should have respected you more...
Resh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jeeeesus... 1) you should think about having your own supply of condoms. 2) you should have made sure he had condoms and you should have insisted on putting it on him yourself! No glove no love. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jeeeesus... 1) you should think about having your own supply of condoms. 2) you should have made sure he had condoms and you should have insisted on putting it on him yourself! No glove no love."
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Would the guy in question respond..?
I would love to hear his version of events.... |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"I'm just saying this so that in the event there is any STD it can be cured easily. "
HIV? You don't know this fella from adam, and not all STDs are easily cured.
Your health, take charge! |
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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"Would the guy in question respond..?
I would love to hear his version of events.... "
So he can be ripped apart for being as sensible as the OP? I'm not sure he will want to do that.
She basically told him to carry on, maybe if she had actually said no and made sure he understood that she meant it, it wouldn't have happened.
They have both been daft, I hope that it will just be a lesson learnt that if you mean it then say it not if you mean it don't wait until you're on medication to kick off. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I do have contraception yes I do carry condoms the guy new I wanted safe sex I would have thought when being asked twice to wear one would make him stop but no he didn't I only said about the don't cum up me as he told me he was going to
It's a little hard to kick someone one when you are at his place
Thanks for the advice and it's a trip to the clinic for me |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
Sorry you feel you have been kicked about this OP.
So you carry condoms but still let him go unprotected? You need to be more assertive.
At the end of the day, being blunt you opened your legs and allowed him to penetrate you bare. You need to take responsibility for your own health.
I wish you well at the clinic, and hope the time out with no meets isn't too difficult. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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While I agree with others that you should have kicked him in the balls, but maybe you were also worried about your safety? If you are laid prone underneath a heavier individual he could have easily had his way anyway.
I guess you have learnt a valuable lesson and I hope it doesn't come at a cost. The guy didn't respect your wishes and for that he should be ashamed. There must be a way of reporting him, as maybe he has a track record of this! |
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By *eshzMan
over a year ago
0151 |
"I'm just saying this so that in the event there is any STD it can be cured easily.
HIV? You don't know this fella from adam, and not all STDs are easily cured.
Your health, take charge!"
Calm down please, if you read my comment, you would have realised that my aim is to be objective as possible. The mistake has already occurred, stating what should have happend isn't going to help anyone. And lets not get into a debate about HIV! There's a 72 hour Window to kill the virus with high probability of success if you get the right treatment, its not a miracle drug, and it doesn't work in some cases but has a high success rate, and the drug is not commonly given out because of the harsh side effects the individual can get when they are on the drug And you need to meet certain criteria. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Please read my PM on what happened. I can't post as saying what happened to me breaks forum rules.
It's your body though and if you say no, mean no and don't just give in. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do have contraception yes I do carry condoms the guy new I wanted safe sex I would have thought when being asked twice to wear one would make him stop but no he didn't I only said about the don't cum up me as he told me he was going to
It's a little hard to kick someone one when you are at his place
Thanks for the advice and it's a trip to the clinic for me "
is the last veri him? |
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[Removed by poster at 11/05/15 14:06:08] |
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The only person responsible for your sexual health is you . After you said the first time then why carry on playing with him?? You could of stopped things at any point till he gloved up .He chose to ignore you but you chose to let it continue . It may sound harsh but he can only do what you allow him. There was nothing to stop you getting up and leaving after you asked the first time. Sounds like you both got carried away but something you can learn from going forward .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a meet yesterday and pre meet I asked does he have any condoms he said yes and I think my profile makes it clear about safe sex
Anyway we got naked and he gets on top and enters me I said are you not going to use something he smiled carried on I ask him again but he carried on so I then said you better not cum up me
Fortunately he didn't and came on me but still I left feeling rather upset
Is there anything I should have done or said
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You should have shoved him off and said NO loudly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the heat of passion, it is a pain to have to put one on, and can break the mood unless the lady does it for you, but would never contemplate sex with a stranger without one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would the guy in question respond..?
I would love to hear his version of events....
So he can be ripped apart for being as sensible as the OP? I'm not sure he will want to do that.
She basically told him to carry on, maybe if she had actually said no and made sure he understood that she meant it, it wouldn't have happened.
They have both been daft, I hope that it will just be a lesson learnt that if you mean it then say it not if you mean it don't wait until you're on medication to kick off."
Why is the OP coming in for so much flak? She told the guy she practised safe sex, he was the one who carried on despite her questions. She 'basically said yes'? That's not how I read it. Maybe she felt pressured. Maybe she lacks assertiveness. Many a woman has felt that they have very little power in these situations. At the end of the day, the man went against her wishes. And he ignored her questions during sex, which to any decent human being would have been a red flag.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't ever expect the man to take a condom! Always always always take your own!! |
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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"Would the guy in question respond..?
I would love to hear his version of events....
So he can be ripped apart for being as sensible as the OP? I'm not sure he will want to do that.
She basically told him to carry on, maybe if she had actually said no and made sure he understood that she meant it, it wouldn't have happened.
They have both been daft, I hope that it will just be a lesson learnt that if you mean it then say it not if you mean it don't wait until you're on medication to kick off.
Why is the OP coming in for so much flak? She told the guy she practised safe sex, he was the one who carried on despite her questions. She 'basically said yes'? That's not how I read it. Maybe she felt pressured. Maybe she lacks assertiveness. Many a woman has felt that they have very little power in these situations. At the end of the day, the man went against her wishes. And he ignored her questions during sex, which to any decent human being would have been a red flag.
"
She didn't say no at any point or make any attempt to stop him (unless she has forgotten to mention that). What he was told was basically "Fine, carry on just don't cum inside me", so in other wards, don't worry I don't think condoms are important either. For what ever reason she chose to not make a fuss about it, I truly hope she gets the all clear. I'm not saying it's *all* her fault but it isn't all his either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok OP, sounds like you've had a bit of a raw deal here, this guy, whether he's misunderstood you or deliberately chose to ignore you. If it was the latter of these then you probably weren't the first and definitely won't be the last. I think most of us would steer well clear of anyone who doesn't respect and adhere to the wishes of the people they're meeting (even in the heat of the moment)
Recriminations are pointless now and the main thing for you is to move forward and take some of the sound advice in this thread, i.e. morning after pill, get down the GUM clinic and get checked out, abstain from all sexual activity with others until you get the ok that you're clear. This may take sometime with the HIV test though as last time I was there I was led to believe they couldn't actually take and test for it until it had been 3 months since the last person I'd had any sexual contact with, I'm not sure if this time gap has changed since then so best to ask when you at the GUM clinic. Fortunately for me at the time I hadn't had time for anything like a meeting for a while due to other things, so I was ok to just add it to the list while they were doing everything else.
Use the time to give yourself a short break from it all, it's no bad thing, and you come back feeling refreshed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd have kicked the fucker in the nuts.
I'd not have let him near me without protection.
I have to say. I don't bareback ever under any circumstances. I've had fellas try it on.
Best way to ensure it doesn't ever happen again op is to always have condoms with you.
If you want to stick to this rule.
Take the responsibility yourself.
People will always try it on, |
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"I had a meet yesterday and pre meet I asked does he have any condoms he said yes and I think my profile makes it clear about safe sex
Anyway we got naked and he gets on top and enters me I said are you not going to use something he smiled carried on I ask him again but he carried on so I then said you better not cum up me
Fortunately he didn't and came on me but still I left feeling rather upset
Is there anything I should have done or said
"
had it been me i would have kneed him in his bollocks util he got two fecking lumps in his throat lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just a another thoutgh OP, I find it's always useful when I have time to reflect and review on past meets and some of the inevitable situations that I've thought were a little or very odd......and what I perhaps could do about them for future meetings.
If nothing else it whiles away the time for a bit. Remember....look after youself, don't be too concerned about treading on a few toes. If it's not right for you then its a NO for them. |
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I find it shocking that in this day and age a man would enter a woman and then think to ask, clearly you maybe need to brush up your fuckwit filter.
What he did is disgusting 'in the moment' or not. He knew you didn't really want sex with no protection so he applied a little pressure and carried in anyway.
As you say definitely need a trip to the gun clinic and cancel all meets before the results of that.
Maybe next time ask for the condom to be put on sooner rather than later and make sure you can feel the ridge at the base of the condom as he enters you as that's the easiest way to check it's still there.
If you wish for sex to go a certain way don't submit to a man just because he puts a little pressure on. Stand by your own wish and commitments to yourself. He clearly didn't respect you but that shouldn't change your respect for yourself |
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By *etzPlayCouple
over a year ago
Southend |
"I had a meet yesterday and pre meet I asked does he have any condoms he said yes and I think my profile makes it clear about safe sex
Anyway we got naked and he gets on top and enters me I said are you not going to use something he smiled carried on I ask him again but he carried on so I then said you better not cum up me
Fortunately he didn't and came on me but still I left feeling rather upset
Is there anything I should have done or said
"
Is this the guy you verified? Lmao That will teach him lmao |
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Why are people being so mean to her about not meeting until she has the all clear?? Does everybody go get tested after each unprotected oral meet?? And don't play until the test results come back.. NO!! Nor do we ask what our sexual preferences are off this site. Most people play bare with their partners, how do we know if their partner is playing safe with others? ? I agree she should be careful and rubber up if she was to meet, ALWAYS but not to play at all; I think that's going a little over the top. He didn't cum in her. condoms help prevent STI's but they don't eradicate them altogether. The risks are there and I'm not saying she shouldn't get herself tested but most of you are scaring her half to death that she will never play again let alone once she is tested.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 11/05/15 16:18:18] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Many women do bareback even tho they said no on profile  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why are people being so mean to her about not meeting until she has the all clear?? Does everybody go get tested after each unprotected oral meet?? And don't play until the test results come back.. NO!! Nor do we ask what our sexual preferences are off this site. Most people play bare with their partners, how do we know if their partner is playing safe with others? ? I agree she should be careful and rubber up if she was to meet, ALWAYS but not to play at all; I think that's going a little over the top. He didn't cum in her. condoms help prevent STI's but they don't eradicate them altogether. The risks are there and I'm not saying she shouldn't get herself tested but most of you are scaring her half to death that she will never play again let alone once she is tested. "
Fear is the mindkiller...
But yeah too many people are controlling when giving 'advice'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Grab his cock and nail it to the ground with your stiletto heel. |
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"Many women do bareback even tho they said no on profile "
..I agree and so do many more men |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I honestly had to check your age as I assumed you would be a naive 18 year old. You seriously need to toughen up. Fuck knows what could happen to you on your next meet! Maybe think about an assertiveness course, carry your own condoms, get checked out for sti's and learn to say NO and mean it! Alternatively let people walk all over you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Er a get the fuck out of here springs to mind... Your equally to blame for letting him start, and then continue... |
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Think if it happened to me I would impale his balls with my nails.
That said why didnt you have your own condoms surely its you needs to be responsible for yourself..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No he is not my last veti |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And we wonder why blokes get a bad name on here?
But please learn to say "No", safe sex = with a condom! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't help getting thinking; in that moment would I really want to refuse/ fight/ cause a scene with someone, one on one, in my home - people you don't know well could flip suddenly when provoked - Not saying that's what happened as I wouldn't know. Plus I'd have bought condoms myself and planned to put one on part of the play, but hypothetically:
*if* I'd not had the chance to put it on and he'd rushed ahead, other than firmly saying 'NO I want to use condoms, let me get one' and pushing a little - well if he had ignored me and firmly continued; I Might have just said something like the OP did, than risk pissing off a stranger in my house while alone... You can't know until your in that situation. It's easier in a club or as a couple to be stronger  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wow...
If you was 18 i'd call it naivety (thinking your ok because he never came in you) but god damn woman...your a 40yr old!
When do you start learning if your still asking questions like this at 40??? "
This!
I was shocked that an experienced 40 year old allowed this idiot to disrespect her wishes like that.
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"I had a meet yesterday and pre meet I asked does he have any condoms he said yes and I think my profile makes it clear about safe sex
Anyway we got naked and he gets on top and enters me I said are you not going to use something he smiled carried on I ask him again but he carried on so I then said you better not cum up me
Fortunately he didn't and came on me but still I left feeling rather upset
Is there anything I should have done or said
"
Oh my goodness.
Please, develope a sense of worth. If you don't respect yourself and your body, why should anyone else? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why is bloke copping all the flak the o p let it continue.
As bad as was takes two to tango no sympathy for o p stop bleating about it. |
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"No he is not my last veti"
eeek! i can see all your meets rushing to the clinic now |
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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago
North Yorkshire by the Sea |
"No he is not my last veti
eeek! i can see all your meets rushing to the clinic now "
She said Yesterday, which is after her last veri?
It does take two to tango/have condoms but provoking a stranger alone in your home with the violence of kneeing him in the knackers could be pretty risky. |
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His cock should have been nowhere near her unsheathed. It was her job to say no.
He is a complete tosser to put her in that situation, but she has to value her health and safety more.
Unfortunately, I don't think it will stop her getting meets as men don't seem to care much either. |
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thought i read somewhere that she said she was in his home! |
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So why are you not naming and shaming , unprotected sex even without fluid exchange is a big no no , just how many others has this selfish twat done this too . And you cant escape any blame on this one ,as some one else said stiletto heel to the head would work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So why are you not naming and shaming , unprotected sex even without fluid exchange is a big no no , just how many others has this selfish twat done this too . And you cant escape any blame on this one ,as some one else said stiletto heel to the head would work "
Because it's against site rules to name and shame. |
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You can't be that worried, the veri you left you're waiting for round 2! |
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"So why are you not naming and shaming , unprotected sex even without fluid exchange is a big no no , just how many others has this selfish twat done this too . And you cant escape any blame on this one ,as some one else said stiletto heel to the head would work
Because it's against site rules to name and shame. "
I think on this occasion its worth the agro |
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And in fairness, the blame and shame is hers.
He pushed her boundaries and she pulled them down quicker than her knickers |
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"Advice?
You could take the statement off your profile about safe sex, as you clearly don't live by it.
"
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"You can't be that worried, the veri you left you're waiting for round 2! "
she said he wasnt her last veri! didnt she??or do i need stronger glasses! lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can't be that worried, the veri you left you're waiting for round 2!
she said he wasnt her last veri! didnt she??or do i need stronger glasses! lol"
You're right, she did say that. Selective reading from some. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"His cock should have been nowhere near her unsheathed. It was her job to say no.
He is a complete tosser to put her in that situation, but she has to value her health and safety more.
Unfortunately, I don't think it will stop her getting meets as men don't seem to care much either. "
Spot on.
It is sad to see that someone would feel such lack of self worth thar prevented them from removing themselves from that situation. |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
Why do people always have to start attacking and dissecting things instead of sticking to the question!
The OP said the meet was on the 10th which has got absolutely nothing to do with her posted veris. It's like a fucking witch hunt in here sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wow...
If you was 18 i'd call it naivety (thinking your ok because he never came in you) but god damn woman...your a 40yr old!
When do you start learning if your still asking questions like this at 40??? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't ever expect the man to take a condom! Always always always take your own!! "
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I always have lots. In the car, my wallet and my wand case if it goes with me.
Belt and braces comes to mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a meet yesterday and pre meet I asked does he have any condoms he said yes and I think my profile makes it clear about safe sex
Anyway we got naked and he gets on top and enters me I said are you not going to use something he smiled carried on I ask him again but he carried on so I then said you better not cum up me
Fortunately he didn't and came on me but still I left feeling rather upset
Is there anything I should have done or said
"
Sorry but your a mug, Id go to the clinic asap. |
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"I had a meet yesterday and pre meet I asked does he have any condoms he said yes and I think my profile makes it clear about safe sex
Anyway we got naked and he gets on top and enters me I said are you not going to use something he smiled carried on I ask him again but he carried on so I then said you better not cum up me
Fortunately he didn't and came on me but still I left feeling rather upset
Is there anything I should have done or said
Sorry but your a mug, Id go to the clinic asap."
Its a 2 week incubation period for many things to show up. So wait 2 weeks then go.
In those 2 weeks OP, give your head a wobble |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What ever happened to the Femidom .Or is it always the guys responsbilty to make sure that protection is always used . Just curious and before you ask i practice safe sex and go for check up's every 6 mths as i like the nurse mmmm.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TjQ8XjOVpCk |
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"You can't be that worried, the veri you left you're waiting for round 2!
she said he wasnt her last veri! didnt she??or do i need stronger glasses! lol
You're right, she did say that. Selective reading from some. "
I stand corrected |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people always have to start attacking and dissecting things instead of sticking to the question!
The OP said the meet was on the 10th which has got absolutely nothing to do with her posted veris. It's like a fucking witch hunt in here sometimes. "
Agreed. |
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Oh dear me did the op ask for her veries to be checked? I don't think so
OP, firstly we are sorry that you feel like you've been through an ordeal, but your a grown woman with your own mind, we would never trust anyone to supply their own protection (all of our prev meets have though) and would take our own, there would be no way any cock would get near me without a cover over it!
You should have stopped him when you first knew he wasn't wearing any instead of telling him not to cum inside you.
I feel both parties are to blame on this, and hope that you get the all clear after your visit to the clinic |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Answering the womans posts is hardly a witch hunt.
Jumping to conclusions is not against forum rules, but please don't discuss anything on the womans profile. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
Is there anything I should have done or said
"
Yes....something along the lines of "get the fuck off me" would have been my line....although the only time someone ever tried that on me it was the OH who opened his mouth before I could. He was then asked to leave |
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By *ngeluk69Woman
over a year ago
Near enough |
To be quite simple and honest, if you say on your profile that you practice safe sex, then it is your responsibility to stand up for yourself and insist that others respect that.
You allowed a guy to enter you unprotected and then when you questioned it, you allowed him to carry on. You gave your full consent to unprotected sex as long as he pulled out and i think you are lucky he at least respected that.
You should have been stronger and if you really weren't happy then you could have and should have walked away.
Not easy I know, but I'd rather have the awkwardness of a lost meet and the sense of pride in myself that I walked away from a situation I wasn't happy with than the stress and upset and potential issues of STD's, STI's and possible HIV/AIDS. |
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"To be quite simple and honest, if you say on your profile that you practice safe sex, then it is your responsibility to stand up for yourself and insist that others respect that.
You allowed a guy to enter you unprotected and then when you questioned it, you allowed him to carry on. You gave your full consent to unprotected sex as long as he pulled out and i think you are lucky he at least respected that.
You should have been stronger and if you really weren't happy then you could have and should have walked away.
Not easy I know, but I'd rather have the awkwardness of a lost meet and the sense of pride in myself that I walked away from a situation I wasn't happy with than the stress and upset and potential issues of STD's, STI's and possible HIV/AIDS."
WELL SAID!!!! |
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By *tmmCouple
over a year ago
harlow |
[Removed by poster at 12/05/15 18:41:11] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"[Removed by poster at 12/05/15 18:41:11]"
She hasn't, the most recent very' isn't the bloke in the story. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be quite simple and honest, if you say on your profile that you practice safe sex, then it is your responsibility to stand up for yourself and insist that others respect that.
You allowed a guy to enter you unprotected and then when you questioned it, you allowed him to carry on. You gave your full consent to unprotected sex as long as he pulled out and i think you are lucky he at least respected that.
You should have been stronger and if you really weren't happy then you could have and should have walked away.
Not easy I know, but I'd rather have the awkwardness of a lost meet and the sense of pride in myself that I walked away from a situation I wasn't happy with than the stress and upset and potential issues of STD's, STI's and possible HIV/AIDS."
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the OP also said she did carry condoms |
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"the OP also said she did carry condoms "
And yet didn't insist he use them |
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"What ever happened to the Femidom .Or is it always the guys responsbilty to make sure that protection is always used . Just curious and before you ask i practice safe sex and go for check up's every 6 mths as i like the nurse mmmm.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TjQ8XjOVpCk"
Femidoms are ok for protecting against pregnancy but they are inferior to standard condoms to protect against STIs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One thing I'm trying to work out is just how quick did this guy cum fore this to have happened.
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By *oconut2Woman
over a year ago
Nether regions of the back of beyond |
I don't understand why she started this thread, she didn't HAVE to carry on but she CHOSE to so why whinge about it !! |
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"I don't understand why she started this thread, she didn't HAVE to carry on but she CHOSE to so why whinge about it !!"
Attention? |
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"I don't understand why she started this thread, she didn't HAVE to carry on but she CHOSE to so why whinge about it !!"
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"I don't understand why she started this thread, she didn't HAVE to carry on but she CHOSE to so why whinge about it !!
Attention? "
that's not the sort of attention i would want! |
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"I don't understand why she started this thread, she didn't HAVE to carry on but she CHOSE to so why whinge about it !!
Attention?
that's not the sort of attention i would want! "
Nor me. But people are strange |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow as much as I agree she needed to be more assertive what this guy has done was without her initial consent. As been said where the conditions to consenting to have sex with someone is broken then Rape has taken place which is a serious crime. What OP mught actually have sought was support not a pack of jackals baying. For the OP she was in a strange house and with a strange man. She might not have the confidence in herself to do what others might. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a single guy I will only have safe sex. On one meet I was asked by a woman's husband to go in bareback. I refused and put on a condom I don't think he was too chuffed even though we discussed it before Meeting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow as much as I agree she needed to be more assertive what this guy has done was without her initial consent. As been said where the conditions to consenting to have sex with someone is broken then Rape has taken place which is a serious crime. What OP mught actually have sought was support not a pack of jackals baying. For the OP she was in a strange house and with a strange man. She might not have the confidence in herself to do what others might."
If this is the case, the OP should reconsider her lifestyle choices and how she meets. If she's too uncomfortable saying 'no' then this is not rape, it's the wrong way for her to engage in adult fun.
This was a consentual situation, whether she regrets it after or not. |
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