FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > HIV and STD's

HIV and STD's

By *ichellelady OP TV/TS over a year ago

ALDERSHOT

I was quite shocked a couple of weeks ago when talking to a man about HIV and STDs. I asked him when he last had a check for HIV and he said he never had (he was 40 and a swinger). When I asked him why not his reply was "I am not gay". Could not believe the ignorance!! I just wanted to point out to everyone that we should all be having regular sexual health checks whatever our sexual preferences. Take care everyone, have lots of fun, but always be safe. Michelle xxxxxx

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

Most of us do, we just don't shout about it. When I was meeting regularly I was well known in my local clinic for my regular check ups.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I was quite shocked a couple of weeks ago when talking to a man about HIV and STDs. I asked him when he last had a check for HIV and he said he never had (he was 40 and a swinger). When I asked him why not his reply was "I am not gay". Could not believe the ignorance!! I just wanted to point out to everyone that we should all be having regular sexual health checks whatever our sexual preferences. Take care everyone, have lots of fun, but always be safe. Michelle xxxxxx"

Unfortunately the government campaigns in the 80s made many people believe that only gay men get HIV.

The damage is done in that generation.

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By *ichellelady OP TV/TS over a year ago

ALDERSHOT

Hi Evie,

I just automatically assumed that as adults we were all aware of having checks if we play. It was just I was a bit shocked at such an ignorant statement in 2015! Michelle xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP I'm not shocked that the guy exists. Many think that way. 'Safe sex with condoms, no need to get tested'.

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By *ichellelady OP TV/TS over a year ago

ALDERSHOT

Do you know I had forgotten that, although I do remember the commercial advertising with the tombstones. Perhaps there should be a new campaign considered for the 21st Century.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would of thought anyone with a bit of common sense swinger or not would have at least the occasional check up if more than 1 partner?

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

Very sad, yes we should be getting tested. When I last got tested they said it can take 10 years after infection to show symptoms of HIV. Depending on how much swinging you do can you imagine how many partners you could have over a 10 year period

I was about the movie KIDS last night, its a movie about teenagers in New York with HIV. It's a very powerful and moving film. Has anyone else seen it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Very sad, yes we should be getting tested. When I last got tested they said it can take 10 years after infection to show symptoms of HIV. Depending on how much swinging you do can you imagine how many partners you could have over a 10 year period

The statement associating STI/STD with only gay sexuality is what sticks out.

Ignorance abounds even in 2015

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was about the movie KIDS last night, its a movie about teenagers in New York with HIV. It's a very powerful and moving film. Has anyone else seen it? "

Yes I saw Kids when I was a teenager and it always stuck in my mind.

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By *_PlayMan over a year ago

cardiff

Glad some 1 bought this up.. as I'm new to this. Few years ago I had a scare of having clymidia I shit myself finding out I didn't have it iv never been so careful, it was nice p.s I felt like killing the girl! I didn't know she was the towns bike lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Glad some 1 bought this up.. as I'm new to this. Few years ago I had a scare of having clymidia I shit myself finding out I didn't have it iv never been so careful, it was nice p.s I felt like killing the girl! I didn't know she was the towns bike lol"

Really? You think she caught something off her because she was "the towns bike" ?

Says a lot about you.

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

some people distance themselves from HIV, they truly think if they don't think about it......

and it is for the gays as a punishment from god for their deviance.

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

That's not a very nice statement and a strange one to come out with on this site

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If that's how you _iew women who have alot of sex, perhaps you shouldn't be on a swingers site?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You don't need to take any tests if everything seems fine with your pecker.

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

"You don't need to take any tests if everything seems fine with your pecker."

why, once infected does it change colour to black.

that's gangrene

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You don't need to take any tests if everything seems fine with your pecker.

why, once infected does it change colour to black.

that's gangrene

"
Yes or heard it might turn green too lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's not a very nice statement and a strange one to come out with on this site

Isnt it just...I would think I have had more men than the "bike" in my time.. and Mr has had quite a few women... and I have never caught anything.. yet some of my vanilla friends that have only had a couple of parters have..

btw if I am a bike.. trust me I am a ducati...

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By *_PlayMan over a year ago

cardiff

Ducatis are shit! More of a yamaha me

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By *ichellelady OP TV/TS over a year ago

ALDERSHOT

Really pleased that my posting has provoked some discussion. It is not just HIV that I wanted to highlight, but all the other STDs that abound these days, some of which have no outward symptons. As I said on the original posting it is all about taking care of ourselves, we can all have fun, but just be responsible adults, and have respect for ourselves and those that we play with. Michelle xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple over a year ago

Derbyshire

Okay. At the risk of starting a shitstorm...

What is the 'accepted practice' or 'recommended guidance'?

We are very knew to this, and have been shocked from attitudes ranging from 'risky sex is okay since I get tested' to 'I'm in a high-risk category, but it's okay because I lie to get meets' to 'I get tested every time a woman looks at me, the cost to the NHS doesn't matter, cos we can get some rich banker to pay'

I can understand getting tested if a condom breaks, or if you fall into one of the high-risk categories, but what is the actual clinical advice?

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Okay. At the risk of starting a shitstorm...

What is the 'accepted practice' or 'recommended guidance'?

I can understand getting tested if a condom breaks, or if you fall into one of the high-risk categories, but what is the actual clinical advice?

Mr ddc"

You'd be better off Googling it than asking on here. Or ask at the local clinic.

No 'common practice'. Some bareback, some don't, everything in between. Do what works for you.

Using condoms doesn't mean you won't catch anything. No such thing as high risk categories in my opinion- we are all at risk. Just decide how you want to deal with that risk.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get tested every six weeks without fail, whether I've met or not

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple over a year ago

Derbyshire

You'd be better off Googling it than asking on here. Or ask at the local clinic.

No 'common practice'. Some bareback, some don't, everything in between. Do what works for you.

Using condoms doesn't mean you won't catch anything. No such thing as high risk categories in my opinion- we are all at risk. Just decide how you want to deal with that risk. "

I did, Google didn't want to get involved and sent me.back to here - an old post from 2011!

Statistically there are different risk levels, depending on frequency, who you meet, what protection you use, and what you do.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you had got it you didn't wear a condom so,in my eyes,you took it from her,she didn't give it to you. Imagine you had caught it and passed it on to someone who had only had sex with you. Would she be correct in calling you a town bike? "
unless she knew she had it, then its actually assault & she can be charged! At the same time he should be wearing a glove no excuses not to especially on this site

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You'd be better off Googling it than asking on here. Or ask at the local clinic.

No 'common practice'. Some bareback, some don't, everything in between. Do what works for you.

Using condoms doesn't mean you won't catch anything. No such thing as high risk categories in my opinion- we are all at risk. Just decide how you want to deal with that risk.

I did, Google didn't want to get involved and sent me.back to here - an old post from 2011!

Statistically there are different risk levels, depending on frequency, who you meet, what protection you use, and what you do.

I know what you're saying. I just don't like statistics. In my eyes it's 50/50, no less risk than that. The other person has something... or they don't. I assess that level of risk...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We recently got tested for everything and things are fine. The nurse said that HIV can be detected with two weeks of infection but symptoms may not appear for up to 7 years plus. Condoms should protect you from the disease, apparently oral is safe (regarding HIV not everything else!) however if you have a cut in your mouth then there is a risk. Its simply common sense to get checked regularly if you are in this lifestyle and quite frankly if u don't u are just an irresponsible twat!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you had got it you didn't wear a condom so,in my eyes,you took it from her,she didn't give it to you. Imagine you had caught it and passed it on to someone who had only had sex with you. Would she be correct in calling you a town bike? unless she knew she had it, then its actually assault & she can be charged! At the same time he should be wearing a glove no excuses not to especially on this site"

Especially on this site why?

Swingers are riddled.... ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ducatis are shit! More of a yamaha me

I'm far to temperamental and expensive to be a Yamaha.. Lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Okay. At the risk of starting a shitstorm...

What is the 'accepted practice' or 'recommended guidance'?

I can understand getting tested if a condom breaks, or if you fall into one of the high-risk categories, but what is the actual clinical advice?

Mr ddc"

Some seem to think that if you use condoms that you don't need to be tested but its safer sex not safe sex...

I was advised every 6 weeks but some are told every 3 months. I'd say every 3 months is the minimum you should be checked in this lifestyle but ask the professionals

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Okay. At the risk of starting a shitstorm...

What is the 'accepted practice' or 'recommended guidance'?

I can understand getting tested if a condom breaks, or if you fall into one of the high-risk categories, but what is the actual clinical advice?

Mr ddc

Some seem to think that if you use condoms that you don't need to be tested but its safer sex not safe sex...

I was advised every 6 weeks but some are told every 3 months. I'd say every 3 months is the minimum you should be checked in this lifestyle but ask the professionals"

It does depend on activity, if you are meeting every week then a test every 6 weeks may make sense. If you are meeting on average once a month then id go for about 3 to 4 months or so. But at least twice a year would make sense

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple over a year ago

Derbyshire

Thanks all. If I'm honest we're currently in a category slightly above 'nun', and doubt we'll ever be near the 'Guinness World Record for bisexual bare-back gangbang' category.

I just thought there is much talk of 'us all' as if we are all the same. Whereas the advice must be more tailored to us an individuals.

I'd hate to be an 'irresponsible twat', which is why I wondered what the official guidance was, as we'd rather reduce the risks first, and worry about testing after.

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By *qua vitaeWoman over a year ago

Shropshire/Midlands

Nowadays, hiv doesn't hit the headlines like it used to 30 years ago. Some people actually think there's now a cure??

Anyone can catch it and we all should take responsibility for our own sexual health and leave the rest to their own.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"I get tested every six weeks without fail, whether I've met or not "

Pointless if you haven't met!

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By *allipygousMan over a year ago

Leicester

Tell her to join Fabswingers and only meet men from here. You can then call her sexually liberated.

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By *allipygousMan over a year ago

Leicester

So, here's the thing... You regularly get tested and discover you've contracted something that is curable. No problem, a course of treatment and you're good to go.

But, what if you find you have something that is incurable?

A. Do you stop playing altogether?

B. Continue playing but notify potential playmate(s) of your situation, enabling them to make an informed choice?

C. Carry on playing regardless and tell no-one?

Now I think the majority of public answers will be B then A. But, being the cynic I am, I suspect most would privately opt for C.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If that's how you _iew women who have alot of sex, perhaps you shouldn't be on a swingers site?"

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Where I live I get aids tested every time I renew my visa...I haven't been kicked out yet

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

"Where I live I get aids tested every time I renew my visa...I haven't been kicked out yet

Is Newcastle really that bad?

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By *at69driveMan over a year ago

Hertford

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Last time I got HIV tested is now five years ago. My results were negative, got the results at the surgery reception. Only got tested because I had been careless. Just wondering if I was positive were they going to tell me at the reception without any counselling ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Last time I got HIV tested is now five years ago. My results were negative, got the results at the surgery reception. Only got tested because I had been careless. Just wondering if I was positive were they going to tell me at the reception without any counselling ?"

Take it you haven't had sex in the last 5 years then

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Take it you haven't had sex in the last 5 years then"

safe sex only

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Take it you haven't had sex in the last 5 years then

safe sex only

So that means you don't need testing???

Really!!!! it amazes me on here of all places and people that should know better.. that Condoms are not a magic shield... and its only SAFER sex. They are not 100%

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can honestly say every 4 months for the past few years. Always negative but always worry too- despite playing as safe as reasonably practical.

The general level of ignorance is very high amongst some groups, older heterosexual couples especially.

Stay safe people

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The thrill of the risk is the most enjoyable part

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The stigma of stds will only be overcome when enough people have them and they are not considered a problem.

You wouldn't take a day of work because you had a runny nose would you? X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The stigma of stds will only be overcome when enough people have them and they are not considered a problem.

You wouldn't take a day of work because you had a runny nose would you? X"

oh come on... Are you for real!

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

"The thrill of the risk is the most enjoyable part"

And what about the thrill of potentially passing on an STI / STD? Is that fun too?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The thrill of the risk is the most enjoyable part

And what about the thrill of potentially passing on an STI / STD? Is that fun too?

Please see the post below the one you quoted.

Best wishes x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The thrill of the risk is the most enjoyable part

And what about the thrill of potentially passing on an STI / STD? Is that fun too?

We should stop feeding the trolls..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The thrill of the risk is the most enjoyable part

And what about the thrill of potentially passing on an STI / STD? Is that fun too?

We should stop feeding the trolls..

Aww well, it was funny while it lasted x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Coincidentally, just seen a profile clearly displaying the fact they are HIV+ It's not some obscure risk guys n gals

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Gotta catch them all x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get tested every six weeks without fail, whether I've met or not

Pointless if you haven't met!

As someone previously posted it can take time for things to show up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Exactly, regular testing allows you to inform your partners of what you are bringing to the table beforehand.

This gives them enough time to go out and buy you a gift in return

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The statement associating STI/STD with only gay sexuality is what sticks out.

Ignorance abounds even in 2015"

Because when the guy learned about it it wasn't 2015.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The big problem for swingers is genital warts or HPV / it can lead to cervical cancer if not spotted. It's not preventable with condoms. So although men will spot it pretty quickly woman need to probably have a smear test more regularly than normal if they are swingers?

Interesting discussion - well done to the person who started this

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By *rsIdiotWoman over a year ago

Bedworth

"The big problem for swingers is genital warts or HPV / it can lead to cervical cancer if not spotted. It's not preventable with condoms. So although men will spot it pretty quickly woman need to probably have a smear test more regularly than normal if they are swingers?

Interesting discussion - well done to the person who started this"

Before you start quoting about the dangers of HPV and cervical cancer I suggest some research to make sure it's accurate.

The strains of HPV which cause cervical cancer do not show any symptoms in men or women. Being a swinger does NOT increase the risk of getting cervical cancer, so we should not be getting smear tests more regularly.

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By *adysueandneroCouple over a year ago

witney

You sound like a really nice bloke. Bet your in-box is swamped with mail from ladies just gagging to meet you.

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By *arry247Couple over a year ago

Wakefield

Interesting discussion - well done to the person who started this

Before you start quoting about the dangers of HPV and cervical cancer I suggest some research to make sure it's accurate.

If you are going to contradict good advice please make sure your contradiction is accurate.

From the National Cancer Institute web site url below

"Sexually transmitted HPVs fall into two categories:

Low-risk HPVs, which do not cause cancer but can cause skin warts (technically known as condylomata acuminata) on or around the genitals or anus. For example, HPV types 6 and 11 cause 90 percent of all genital warts.

High-risk or oncogenic HPVs, which can cause cancer. At least a dozen high-risk HPV types have been identified. Two of these, HPV types 16 and 18, are responsible for the majority of HPV-caused cancers."

http://tinyurl.com/legahog

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By *rsIdiotWoman over a year ago

Bedworth

Interesting discussion - well done to the person who started this

Before you start quoting about the dangers of HPV and cervical cancer I suggest some research to make sure it's accurate.

If you are going to contradict good advice please make sure your contradiction is accurate.

From the National Cancer Institute web site url below

"Sexually transmitted HPVs fall into two categories:

http://tinyurl.com/legahog"

Exactly, low risk HPV causes genital warts.....ie, you will see symptoms. High risk HPV does not!

Being a swinger does not increase your risk of getting cervical cancer! My first diagnosis of cervical cancer was at the age of 19, when I'd had just one sexual partner. My second diagnosis of cervical cancer came at the age of 34. I started swinging two years ago aged 38.

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By *rsIdiotWoman over a year ago

Bedworth

Once again, I state that as swingers, we do not need smear tests more often than non swingers.

Two weeks ago I was given the final all clear and put back onto the three yearly testing programme. If the consultant at the hospital feels that swinging is not causing a greater risk in someone who has successfully beaten cervical cancer twice, then I'm pretty certain that the same goes for ladies with no history of it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/04/15 21:06:59]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bareback is a major risk. When I work on the clubs as a bouncer I always carry condoms if I am lucky well I play safe. I know friends who did not use protection

Are now fathers to kids just for a one night stand.

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By *ulfilthmentMan over a year ago

Just around the corner

"Unfortunately the government campaigns in the 80s made many people believe that only gay men get HIV.

The damage is done in that generation."

Only if they were particularly dense. I grew up with the Don't Die of Ignorance campaign and the fact that it applied to everyone seemed pretty clear to me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Interesting discussion - well done to the person who started this

Before you start quoting about the dangers of HPV and cervical cancer I suggest some research to make sure it's accurate.

If you are going to contradict good advice please make sure your contradiction is accurate.

From the National Cancer Institute web site url below

"Sexually transmitted HPVs fall into two categories:

http://tinyurl.com/legahog

Exactly, low risk HPV causes genital warts.....ie, you will see symptoms. High risk HPV does not!

But swinging increases your risk of being exposed to virus's that can cause cervical anger the fact you developed cancer without expire to those virii is irrelivant

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By *rsIdiotWoman over a year ago

Bedworth

Interesting discussion - well done to the person who started this

Before you start quoting about the dangers of HPV and cervical cancer I suggest some research to make sure it's accurate.

If you are going to contradict good advice please make sure your contradiction is accurate.

From the National Cancer Institute web site url below

"Sexually transmitted HPVs fall into two categories:

http://tinyurl.com/legahog

Exactly, low risk HPV causes genital warts.....ie, you will see symptoms. High risk HPV does not!

But swinging increases your risk of being exposed to virus's that can cause cervical anger the fact you developed cancer without expire to those virii is irrelivant"

I never said I was not exposed to the viruses which cause cervical cancer. I stated simply that I was diagnosed and successfully treated long before I even considered swinging.

Seriously, if the medical profession thought that swinging would increase the risk of getting cervical cancer then surely I would still be required to have the six monthly smear tests that I have been having for the last 5 years!

As a swinger, I am at no higher risk of developing cervical cancer than any other sexually active woman. And, as such, should not be wasting valuable nhs resources by having tests done unnecessarily.

Some HPV facts for you...... Around 80% of the world's population will have HPV in their lifetime. 99.7% of cervical cancers are caused by HPV and 70% of those can be prevented by the vaccine...... Statistics taken from the jo trust website

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By *rsIdiotWoman over a year ago

Bedworth

If anyone would like more information about cervical cancer then visit

http://www.jostrust.org.uk/about-cervical-cancer

For anyone worried about results of smear tests I can recommend the forums, the support and help on there is amazing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's so easy these days to get tested takes like 10 mins and u get the result . Seen on news there trying out self testing kits too . Way to go

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By *arry247Couple over a year ago

Wakefield

I never said I was not exposed to the viruses which cause cervical cancer. I stated simply that I was diagnosed and successfully treated long before I even considered swinging."

Exactly you can develop cervical cancer without multiple partners.

However the more times you are exposed to the virus the more likely you are to develop a tumour (and it can take 10 to 20 years for one to develop)

I would suggest you have misunderstood what the consultant was actually telling you.

There is no cure for human papillomavirus and it can lay dormant for many years.

You now have the virus in your body. You can now develop tumours due to that virus; your swinging lifestyle will not affect the frequency that any tumour will develop in your body.

In addition there are many ways the human papillomavirus can be caught without any sexual contact between individuals it can be transferred by sharing towels, wash clothes and underclothes or any other linen or object that may come in contact with the infected person’s genitals. A pregnant woman can pass the virus on to her child.

That is why it is important for swingers to understand what the risks during sexual contact actually involve and make informed decisions rather than naively believing that using a condom provides safety.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would of thought anyone with a bit of common sense swinger or not would have at least the occasional check up if more than 1 partner? "
Some think it will never be them as play safe ..... We'll oral kissing going in hot tubs and stuff you can get all sorts ... Friend got water warts from hot tub at a club. Was months sorting that out ... Some live with things think it's normal until they see a nurse at the GUM and find out it's not .

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By *rsIdiotWoman over a year ago

Bedworth

I never said I was not exposed to the viruses which cause cervical cancer. I stated simply that I was diagnosed and successfully treated long before I even considered swinging.

Exactly you can develop cervical cancer without multiple partners.

However the more times you are exposed to the virus the more likely you are to develop a tumour (and it can take 10 to 20 years for one to develop)

I would suggest you have misunderstood what the consultant was actually telling you.

There is no cure for human papillomavirus and it can lay dormant for many years.

You now have the virus in your body. You can now develop tumours due to that virus; your swinging lifestyle will not affect the frequency that any tumour will develop in your body.

I stated to my consultant that my fiancé and I are swingers, we have sex with multiple partners using condoms and get regular sti checks. Does this increase the risks of developing cervical cancer again and should I have smear tests more often than the standard recall?

His reply was no, absolutely not. All he would recommend is to continue having quarterly sti tests.

How can such a succinct and straightforward answer be misunderstood?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ok so it does not increase your chance of getting cirvical cancer again, but sex with multiple partners will increase the risk of catching hpv in someone who dosnt have it

As you said the form which causes cancer does not cause warts and as there is no blood test for hpv, surly regular smear testing would at least allow a developing cancer to be caught and dealt with at the earliest opportunity?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Glad I browsed this thread now I can add a couple more to my block list

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By *rsIdiotWoman over a year ago

Bedworth

"Ok so it does not increase your chance of getting cirvical cancer again, but sex with multiple partners will increase the risk of catching hpv in someone who dosnt have it

Yes it does, that's why the nhs advises smear tests every three years

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By *romageFraiseWoman over a year ago

London

"I get tested every six weeks without fail, whether I've met or not

Pointless if you haven't met!

As someone previously posted it can take time for things to show up"

takes three months to be detected in a test, can take years for symptoms to show.

I find it difficult to believe your test centre haven't said anything to you if you haven't had sexual contact

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was about the movie KIDS last night, its a movie about teenagers in New York with HIV. It's a very powerful and moving film. Has anyone else seen it? "

Would love to see thr film....is it any good?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get tested every six weeks without fail, whether I've met or not

Pointless if you haven't met!

As someone previously posted it can take time for things to show up

takes three months to be detected in a test, can take years for symptoms to show.

I find it difficult to believe your test centre haven't said anything to you if you haven't had sexual contact"

4 weeks not 3 months now.

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By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple over a year ago

near cardiff

I don't know what people are worried about..you can only catch aids once..

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

I was about the movie KIDS last night, its a movie about teenagers in New York with HIV. It's a very powerful and moving film. Has anyone else seen it?

Would love to see thr film....is it any good? "

It is very good and not one that you will quickly forget. It took me 2 attempts to watch it to the end because of the shocking content.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't know what people are worried about..you can only catch aids once..

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By *lactontogMan over a year ago

Clacton on Sea

Because of our work me and Kim get tested and certed (letter to say you are clear of all lurgies) every 28 days, even though we use our local NHS hospital in Clacton we have to pay £30 each every month.

We stay clear of high risks groups e.g. eastern European, south American & African unless they have at least three consecutive tests...the time it takes for HIV and Hep C to start incubation.

Touch wood after 18 years and lots of naughty times we have never had a STD but never say never as even unprotected oral can lead to infection.

We are amazed our many swingers can't be arsed to get tested compared to other industry people we know who won't even work with their friends unless they have that up to date 28 day test.

Clubs want to earn a tidy profit from people swinging but hardly any worry or advise their members on their sexual health needs which is why swingers are quite high risk.

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman over a year ago

West Midlands

I get tested every 12 weeks on the NHS

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By *ichellelady OP TV/TS over a year ago

ALDERSHOT

Further to my posting on this topic. Just thought I would share a message I have just this moment received from a female member on here :-

"HIV is a gay disease

If everyone stuck to having sex with the opposite gender , instead of sticking it up

The bum there be no HIV and AIDS"

As you can imagine I was rather shocked to receive a comment like this, particularly as the lady in question is clearly very sexually active judging by her profile. We live and learn I suppose.

Michelle x

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Further to my posting on this topic. Just thought I would share a message I have just this moment received from a female member on here :-

"HIV is a gay disease

If everyone stuck to having sex with the opposite gender , instead of sticking it up

The bum there be no HIV and AIDS"

As you can imagine I was rather shocked to receive a comment like this, particularly as the lady in question is clearly very sexually active judging by her profile. We live and learn I suppose.

Michelle x"

What happens if I have sex with the opposite gender but he still sticks it up my bum?

There's no educating some people. 21st century and they still believe BS like that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Further to my posting on this topic. Just thought I would share a message I have just this moment received from a female member on here :-

"HIV is a gay disease

If everyone stuck to having sex with the opposite gender , instead of sticking it up

The bum there be no HIV and AIDS"

As you can imagine I was rather shocked to receive a comment like this, particularly as the lady in question is clearly very sexually active judging by her profile. We live and learn I suppose.

Michelle x"

The lady in question should ponder the whole raft of other STD's then

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

Well as HIV originated in chimpanzees and crossed into humans who were hunting them for meat we can't solely blame it on bummers

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By *vgloryholebs16TV/TS over a year ago

Bristol.

'Gay disease' well that takes me back..i suppose herpes is the 'str8 disease'.

It is interesting she chose to share it with you rather than put it on this thread.

Do other swingers still think that way?

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By *ong riderMan over a year ago

belfast

Just stay safe and chances are whatever hole you stick it in you'll be ok. Nuff said

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By *alcon43Woman over a year ago

Paisley

You don't catch AIDS. You catch HIV which develops into AIDS.

I have a straight friend who has HIV/AIDS. Every day he takes 30 tablets, attends hospital for regular check ups, lots of side effects from the tablets and rarely sees his friends.

It's no laughing matter and a course of antibiotics may cure STIs but HIV affects you for the rest of your life and those around you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Had it got a guy called Casper in it?

I was about the movie KIDS last night, its a movie about teenagers in New York with HIV. It's a very powerful and moving film. Has anyone else seen it? "

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By *anchestercubMan over a year ago

manchester & NI

It's no laughing matter and a course of antibiotics may cure STIs .

But that's one of the biggest issues at the minute. Antibiotic resistance is making 'curable' STIs not so curable in the future.

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By *anchestercubMan over a year ago

manchester & NI

"Further to my posting on this topic. Just thought I would share a message I have just this moment received from a female member on here :-

"HIV is a gay disease

If everyone stuck to having sex with the opposite gender , instead of sticking it up

The bum there be no HIV and AIDS"

As you can imagine I was rather shocked to receive a comment like this, particularly as the lady in question is clearly very sexually active judging by her profile. We live and learn I suppose.

Michelle x"

That female member ignores the fact the reason HIV is more prevalent in gay men is because they are more sexually active with multiple partners than heterosexuals on average.

However swingers are not the average heterosexual in terms of sexual partners (if they're doing it right) and so swingers would be as much a high-risk group as gay men.

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By *entcockslutCouple over a year ago

canterbury

I get checked once a month because of the amount of guys I meet, 9 times out of 10 it's bareback sex but that's what I like and that's why I get checked on a very regular basis

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Further to my posting on this topic. Just thought I would share a message I have just this moment received from a female member on here :-

"HIV is a gay disease

If everyone stuck to having sex with the opposite gender , instead of sticking it up

The bum there be no HIV and AIDS"

As you can imagine I was rather shocked to receive a comment like this, particularly as the lady in question is clearly very sexually active judging by her profile. We live and learn I suppose.

Michelle x

That female member ignores the fact the reason HIV is more prevalent in gay men is because they are more sexually active with multiple partners than heterosexuals on average.

However swingers are not the average heterosexual in terms of sexual partners (if they're doing it right) and so swingers would be as much a high-risk group as gay men. "

Unless your a single male getting all your meets off fab in which case you have no chance of getting anything lol

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By *anchestercubMan over a year ago

manchester & NI

"Further to my posting on this topic. Just thought I would share a message I have just this moment received from a female member on here :-

"HIV is a gay disease

If everyone stuck to having sex with the opposite gender , instead of sticking it up

The bum there be no HIV and AIDS"

As you can imagine I was rather shocked to receive a comment like this, particularly as the lady in question is clearly very sexually active judging by her profile. We live and learn I suppose.

Michelle x

That female member ignores the fact the reason HIV is more prevalent in gay men is because they are more sexually active with multiple partners than heterosexuals on average.

However swingers are not the average heterosexual in terms of sexual partners (if they're doing it right) and so swingers would be as much a high-risk group as gay men.

Unless your a single male getting all your meets off fab in which case you have no chance of getting anything lol"

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By *ait88Man over a year ago

Plymouth

"You don't need to take any tests if everything seems fine with your pecker."

One to avoid!

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By *ait88Man over a year ago

Plymouth

I was about the movie KIDS last night, its a movie about teenagers in New York with HIV. It's a very powerful and moving film. Has anyone else seen it? "

The HIV "incubation" period is 4 weeks for the National Health test, and 24 hours for tests in decent health services

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get checked once a month because of the amount of guys I meet, 9 times out of 10 it's bareback sex but that's what I like and that's why I get checked on a very regular basis "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get tested every 12 weeks on the NHS "

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By *ait88Man over a year ago

Plymouth

"We recently got tested for everything and things are fine. The nurse said that HIV can be detected with two weeks of infection but symptoms may not appear for up to 7 years plus. Condoms should protect you from the disease, apparently oral is safe (regarding HIV not everything else!) however if you have a cut in your mouth then there is a risk. Its simply common sense to get checked regularly if you are in this lifestyle and quite frankly if u don't u are just an irresponsible twat! "

The oral sex is very definitely NOT safe for HIV. The risk is the same as for penetrative sex. Did you graze part of the gum behind your teeth when you brushed them?

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By *ait88Man over a year ago

Plymouth

"Okay. At the risk of starting a shitstorm...

What is the 'accepted practice' or 'recommended guidance'?

I can understand getting tested if a condom breaks, or if you fall into one of the high-risk categories, but what is the actual clinical advice?

Mr ddc

Some seem to think that if you use condoms that you don't need to be tested but its safer sex not safe sex...

I was advised every 6 weeks but some are told every 3 months. I'd say every 3 months is the minimum you should be checked in this lifestyle but ask the professionals"

Get tested 4 weeks after every "safe sex" encounter. Taking "Truvada" may reduce the risk - Google.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

block list is getting longer, love this type of topic.

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By *ait88Man over a year ago

Plymouth

"So, here's the thing... You regularly get tested and discover you've contracted something that is curable. No problem, a course of treatment and you're good to go.

But, what if you find you have something that is incurable?

A. Do you stop playing altogether?

B. Continue playing but notify potential playmate(s) of your situation, enabling them to make an informed choice?

C. Carry on playing regardless and tell no-one?

Now I think the majority of public answers will be B then A. But, being the cynic I am, I suspect most would privately opt for C."

D.Play with people who already have it who you can find on dedicated websites - Google

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By *ohnny4playMan over a year ago

Kinross

"Unfortunately the government campaigns in the 80s made many people believe that only gay men get HIV.

The damage is done in that generation.

Only if they were particularly dense. I grew up with the Don't Die of Ignorance campaign and the fact that it applied to everyone seemed pretty clear to me."

That was my impression too, the campaign was good in my eyes.

However good a campaign and education is, sadly does not stop some people from sticking their heads in the sand or worse to find a group to blame and live in denial that it could ever happen to them because they are not in the group they choose to blame.

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By *fcdTV/TS over a year ago

Southend

Out of interest, for those that do get tested, how often does something turn up? Lots of people here getting regular checkups but it seems to be very hard to get a _iew on results. PM if you feel it would cause issues.

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Unfortunately the government campaigns in the 80s made many people believe that only gay men get HIV.

The damage is done in that generation.

Only if they were particularly dense. I grew up with the Don't Die of Ignorance campaign and the fact that it applied to everyone seemed pretty clear to me."

Yep, still remember it now.

"Okay boys, you're 18 now, and the time has come to leave school and go out into the world. You will of course probably meet girls, so before you do, just watch this short film to tell you what to expect..."

Burning in hell seemed a picnic after that prospect...

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been having nsa sex since 16. Maybe I'm unlucky but I've had Chlamydia 3 times and was given Trich(something) whilst pregnant by my ex partner. After the brutal antibiotics last year I'm uber careful. I play safe always for penetration and get tested every six weeks.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It never cease to amaze me just how many transvestites are out there having highly risky sex without a care in the world.

At least you have some sense Michelle

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By *ichellelady OP TV/TS over a year ago

ALDERSHOT

It never cease to amaze me just how many transvestites are out there having highly risky sex without a care in the world.

At least you have some sense Michelle "

Sorry for the delay in replying. Yes I cannot believe how so many transvestites just think it is okay to have sex with no protection and quite often in group situations (usually with married or attached men). To me it is all about having respect for yourself and the person you have sex with. Sadly my own experiences over the years have taught me that for most men a tv is just a quick cheap thrill and that is it. Have what they want, notch on the bedpost and on to the next, and if you have had unprotected with them maybe leaving you with more than you expected!

I have full regular sexual health checks, and am not a prude (far from it!) but I do take care of myself. It is all about having fun but with respect for others and above all yourself.

Michelle xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It never cease to amaze me just how many transvestites are out there having highly risky sex without a care in the world.

At least you have some sense Michelle

I have full regular sexual health checks, and am not a prude (far from it!) but I do take care of myself. It is all about having fun but with respect for others and above all yourself.

Michelle xxx"

Well said Michelle,

As the token gay in this forum I want to say my bit. As a young gay man starting out in the 80s at 21 working in a gay bar, I seen what hiv/aids was doing to people and it scared the shit out of me, they were dropping like flies. It made me aware of safe sex I would not even suck cock, kiss and if the cum on me I would be instantly in a bath or shower become paranoid about sex with men, I was a wanking disaster, thought best stick to DIY. Lived a celibate life for quite a while.

Then I got involved in voluntary work working with Mothers and Children with hiv/aids mainly and a few gay men through a charity in Liverpool, that's when it hit home to me that the fathers out there playing the field as well as some of the mothers yet even I blamed the gays. By that time plenty of campaigns going on and free condoms available in all the gay bars as we was to blame for the dreaded disease, so some say! Anyway I got a better understanding of Sexual transmitted diseases not just HIV/Aids which made me more comfortable with myself and I started meeting guys again Only ever practice safe sex if I get fucked it on with the condom, which brings me to the BB sex on this site. I am amazed at the guys under 40 who have pictures on there profiles fucking woman raw, and plenty of verifications, and the woman allowing it. That's this gay mans perspective on the subject safe all the way and remember you can even catch STDs by sucking cock. As for HIV its a lot more difficult to catch than I first thought once I got knowledge on it. Nowadays its gonorrhoea which can infect throat rectum, genitals, or chlamydia which are on the rise. So guys and gals keep it real and try to take 20 mins every three months to get checked especially if you put it about None judgemental just a realist. Stephen xx

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By *ait88Man over a year ago

Plymouth

"Out of interest, for those that do get tested, how often does something turn up? Lots of people here getting regular checkups but it seems to be very hard to get a _iew on results. PM if you feel it would cause issues."

Lots of stats here:.nat.org.uk/HIV-in-the-UK/HIV-Statistics/Latest-UK-statistics.aspx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Unfortunately the government campaigns in the 80s made many people believe that only gay men get HIV.

The damage is done in that generation.

Only if they were particularly dense. I grew up with the Don't Die of Ignorance campaign and the fact that it applied to everyone seemed pretty clear to me."

Thank fuck someone said it! There's no excuse for such ignorance in the age of Google. Not everything can be blamed on the government not coming to your bedroom and rolling a condom on for you.

We've had "I don't need tests because I only swing with couples" - block, delete, move on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Great post.

In a way I'm quite glad I suppressed my feelings towards men until recently.

If I'd grown up playing with guys I imagine I would have caught HIV by now because as a young man in the 80's I only wore a condom if a girl wasn't on the pill. I didn't think about catching anything.

Before I started swingingi went for my first ever test, as did my wife. We were both clear but we could easily of been carrying something like clamydia. Neither of us had ever slept around; long term relationships only, but both of us had been cheated on and it only takes one encounter to catch an std./sti.

I get a full screen every three months and go for swabs etc a couple of weeks after if I've been particularly active.

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By *uvstolick68Man over a year ago

Bristol

As regards HS2/Herpes....25% of the population carry this virus and many don't know. Many don't show symptoms either but can transfer as the virus sheds. The clinic and leaflets will tell you. Just because your pecker looks healthy as someone said doesn't mean anything.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Unfortunately the government campaigns in the 80s made many people believe that only gay men get HIV.

The damage is done in that generation.

Only if they were particularly dense. I grew up with the Don't Die of Ignorance campaign and the fact that it applied to everyone seemed pretty clear to me.

Thank fuck someone said it! There's no excuse for such ignorance in the age of Google. Not everything can be blamed on the government not coming to your bedroom and rolling a condom on for you.

We've had "I don't need tests because I only swing with couples" - block, delete, move on"

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By *uvstolick68Man over a year ago

Bristol

[Removed by poster at 15/08/15 08:37:55]

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By *uvstolick68Man over a year ago

Bristol

So regular checks helps keep us healthy and visiting a clinic shouldn't be a stigma.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've got the urge to CLAP, or put some blue food colouring to brighten up my waffle. Haha..

Get yourself tested!

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By *imdm101Man over a year ago

Galway

Something I've never really understood is just how risky is just how risky is unprotected BJ (for any STD)? Is the risk all on the side of the person giving the BJ or is there risk for the recipient also?

Do any men here use condoms when receiving a BJ? (I do, flavoured).

And for women/men who give BJs, would a guy wearing a condom (even flavoured) turn you off giving one?

Jim

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Unfortunately the government campaigns in the 80s made many people believe that only gay men get HIV.

The damage is done in that generation.

Only if they were particularly dense. I grew up with the Don't Die of Ignorance campaign and the fact that it applied to everyone seemed pretty clear to me.

Thank fuck someone said it! There's no excuse for such ignorance in the age of Google. Not everything can be blamed on the government not coming to your bedroom and rolling a condom on for you.

We've had "I don't need tests because I only swing with couples" - block, delete, move on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Something I've never really understood is just how risky is just how risky is unprotected BJ (for any STD)? Is the risk all on the side of the person giving the BJ or is there risk for the recipient also?

Do any men here use condoms when receiving a BJ? (I do, flavoured).

And for women/men who give BJs, would a guy wearing a condom (even flavoured) turn you off giving one?

Jim"

I would not give one with one on. I May on occasion suck a cock with a condom on to help get them hard again but I wouldn't waste my time otherwise. Bj with a condom is horrible

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I got my first STI / HIV check a few months ago, I was 99.9% sure I was clean but it was playing on my mind for a week or so after tilll I got the negative results thinking 'what if' I always get checked after sex now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i heard if you have sex with yourself you cannot catch anything

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Stop trying to grab attention by trying to seize the moral highground and preach to others by pretending to be 'ultra safe'. The workd goes round and swingers still swing.

Stop trying to be judgemental and tomorrow, the world will still be the same.

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By *icky999Man over a year ago

warrington

"Unfortunately the government campaigns in the 80s made many people believe that only gay men get HIV.

The damage is done in that generation.

Only if they were particularly dense. I grew up with the Don't Die of Ignorance campaign and the fact that it applied to everyone seemed pretty clear to me.

Thank fuck someone said it! There's no excuse for such ignorance in the age of Google. Not everything can be blamed on the government not coming to your bedroom and rolling a condom on for you.

We've had "I don't need tests because I only swing with couples" - block, delete, move on"

erm... about that ignorance

google started on 4 sept 98

the world wide web started on 06 aug 91

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Damn, that's scary.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

not wishing to be controversial, but if we look after our own sexual health theres no need to worry about anyone else x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"not wishing to be controversial, but if we look after our own sexual health theres no need to worry about anyone else x

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By *imdm101Man over a year ago

Galway

Stop trying to be judgemental and tomorrow, the world will still be the same.

Not for someone who picks up an STI, either through their unsafe practices, or there partner's.

the original post was not about morality, or grabbing high ground, IMO. it was about the fact that if you play a lot you should take sensible precautions, for you sake and you partners.

The only morality here is the morality in not telling a partner you play unsafe or that you have an STI

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Most of us do, we just don't shout about it. When I was meeting regularly I was well known in my local clinic for my regular check ups. "

Also the Val story highlighted the risks of later age. Just because people can no longer get pregnant they can still catch sti's and hiv x

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By *ertiVogtsMan over a year ago

Exeter

I get tested every 3 months at my local Genito-Urinary Clinic and I am always impressed by the staff.They are nonjudgmental and easy to talk to.I know swingers who claim that they don't need testing because they practice safe sex.When I say that there is no such thing I tend to get a blank look in return.When I ask if they mean "safer" sex that often kills the conversation.I'll carry on being responsible but don't expect everyone to share this attitude.

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By *icky999Man over a year ago

warrington

"I get tested every 3 months at my local Genito-Urinary Clinic and I am always impressed by the staff.They are nonjudgmental and easy to talk to.I know swingers who claim that they don't need testing because they practice safe sex.When I say that there is no such thing I tend to get a blank look in return.When I ask if they mean "safer" sex that often kills the conversation.I'll carry on being responsible but don't expect everyone to share this attitude."

can you explain what you mean a little more please?

are condoms not 100% safe unless they break?

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By *ertiVogtsMan over a year ago

Exeter

can you explain what you mean a little more please?

are condoms not 100% safe unless they break? "

Condoms are about 98% effective as a contraceptive.They will not totally stop the risk of you giving or getting Chlamydia or other STDs.I was told to abstain from any sexual relations when I was diagnosed with Chlamydia last year.They will reduce the risk but can't totally eliminate it.There is a great deal of reliable information online and at your local GU Clinic.Your GP will also have the information you need.A condom DOES NOT HAVE TO BREAK to be ineffective.Hope this helps and stay safe.

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By *icky999Man over a year ago

warrington

I'll take that as a you dont know then.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The only true safe sex is no sex x

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By *arry247Couple over a year ago

Wakefield

can you explain what you mean a little more please?

are condoms not 100% safe unless they break? "

Condoms if the do not break can only protect the area they cover during sex.

Some STIs can be passed on through skin to skin contact.

This means areas such as shaved pubic regions and mouths (if no condom is worn for oral sex) are vunerable.

In addition if a person has a cut on a finger and fingers an infected person both parties are vunerable to infection being passed on.

In a similar way sex toys can pass infections as can using a condom with one person and not changing the condom before penetrating another.

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By *icky999Man over a year ago

warrington

can you explain what you mean a little more please?

are condoms not 100% safe unless they break?

Condoms if the do not break can only protect the area they cover during sex.

Some STIs can be passed on through skin to skin contact.

This means areas such as shaved pubic regions and mouths (if no condom is worn for oral sex) are vunerable.

In addition if a person has a cut on a finger and fingers an infected person both parties are vunerable to infection being passed on.

In a similar way sex toys can pass infections as can using a condom with one person and not changing the condom before penetrating another. "

are any skin to skin stis tested for at the clinic do you know?

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By *vgloryholebs16TV/TS over a year ago

Bristol.

Lots and lots of people have never been tested,including sexually active gay men,with a number of reasons involved for that decision.

Generally people never got tested(pre aids mid 1980s)unless they had some symptons..

A lot of shame was attached to visiting the 'special clinic' & maybe that shame factor still exists..

I do think when the self test kit becomes more mainstream, more people will check themselves out,meanwhile if we practice safer sex,we don't have to much to worry about other peoples sexual health and it certainly isn't down to me to say others SHOULD get tested.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is there a special area of hell reserved for people who know they've got an STI but choose to do nothing about it & continue meeting?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is there a special area of hell reserved for people who know they've got an STI but choose to do nothing about it & continue meeting? "
there should be !

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman over a year ago

Deviant City

can you explain what you mean a little more please?

are condoms not 100% safe unless they break?

Condoms if the do not break can only protect the area they cover during sex.

Some STIs can be passed on through skin to skin contact.

This means areas such as shaved pubic regions and mouths (if no condom is worn for oral sex) are vunerable.

In addition if a person has a cut on a finger and fingers an infected person both parties are vunerable to infection being passed on.

In a similar way sex toys can pass infections as can using a condom with one person and not changing the condom before penetrating another.

are any skin to skin stis tested for at the clinic do you know?

No but they will look to see if you have any warts, herpes or crabs.

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By *arry247Couple over a year ago

Wakefield

are any skin to skin stis tested for at the clinic do you know?

Not specific skin to skin STIs but if the pubic area has been shaved STIs most STIs may be passed in that manner and can be checked for at a GUM clinic.

Don’t think that only STIs like HPV or Molluscum Contagiosum can be passed on by skin to skin contact all STIs that are passed on via bodily fluid may be passed on if there is a cut or a break in the skin.

Incidentally there is concern that the surge in Syphilis is to unprotected Oral sex

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