FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Pretenders

Pretenders

By *ngie1962 OP Couple over a year ago

Bedford

Like most genuine swingers we are getting increasingly frustrated trying to find / arrange meetings.

I wonder if only to clear the "Pretenders" if FAB might consider a "No picture No verifications within 6 months" then the account is closed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

then people would just create new accounts when the old one expires.

personally i would have thought a person who has been on for over a year with no meets is more genuine than one who just joined recently and by chance managed to get verified

also reading around the forums 6 months is apparently the average time a single male takes to get a meet.

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By *rsIdiotWoman over a year ago

Bedworth

Not everyone verifies. So, people could be meeting but not have a verification in that time.

Also, many people will put meeting on hold sometimes. For example, a lot of couples stop meeting if the lady becomes pregnant and restart again after the baby is born. Is it fair to throw them off the site and stop them from interacting with their friends?

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By *ngie1962 OP Couple over a year ago

Bedford

We are very aware of the issues some single guys have, in our opinion caused by the "pretenders" on fab.

If you can't get verified in 6 months and you can't put a picture on your profile then your not trying. Go to a club chat to people a verification doesn't have to say F***ed his brains out .. Just a simple met nice guy and genuine. Pretenders can't do that .. Genuine single guys could / can

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Problem is site is way to easy to join. There's no security and anyone can sign up. You don't need a real email address and you don't need proof your 18.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The more fakes you encounter, the easier it is to spot them. They'll never be a way of stopping pretenders joining so you've got to try and use your common sense.

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By *ngie1962 OP Couple over a year ago

Bedford

"Problem is site is way to easy to join. There's no security and anyone can sign up. You don't need a real email address and you don't need proof your 18. "

Great idea .. Why not take the first membership payment via a credit card ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Like most genuine swingers we are getting increasingly frustrated trying to find / arrange meetings.

I wonder if only to clear the "Pretenders" if FAB might consider a "No picture No verifications within 6 months" then the account is closed.

Or you could just use filters to block unverified and those without pictures from messaging you

Oh and I'm not sure how or why you feel you can speak for "the majority of genuine swingers"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had a couple of meets off of here with different couples before I was verified by a single female. That was around the 6 month mark, I think. There are many timewasters on here, single men, single females and couples.

Clubs aren't the answer for everyone, for various reasons. Fab possibly gets its fair share, because it is a free site, which personally I would hate to change. Even with the amount unlos and time-wasting. It's what helps make it what it is.

If for instance you only wanted to be contacted by members who are site supporters, I think you are able to have that opportunity, as I have seen it on other profiles. Not sure it would keep all of them out though, there are just as many on paid membership sites!

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By *onnie and JohnCouple over a year ago

WILTSHIRE

Hi All, There will always be "Pretenders" what ever you try to do...if you spot one or just think that sounds not right..push the report button on there profile, only take's minute to fill in the report..you never know you could be saving someone the upset of a no show..Connie xx

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By *it of fun cplCouple over a year ago

village between York and Hull

Taking payment by credit card does not stop time wasters or pretenders im afraid. other paid sites we are members off have the same problem. Photo varification is a good way as no one can see your pic but at least you have added one that admin has seen.

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By *allipygousMan over a year ago

Leicester

Okay, I'll say it... Chrissie Hynde has done well not to get outed.

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

"Like most genuine swingers we are getting increasingly frustrated trying to find / arrange meetings.

I wonder if only to clear the "Pretenders" if FAB might consider a "No picture No verifications within 6 months" then the account is closed.

Or you could just use filters to block unverified and those without pictures from messaging you

Oh and I'm not sure how or why you feel you can speak for "the majority of genuine swingers""

I would love a filter to get rid of fakes, muppets and time wasters!!! If there could be a super duper filter to get them out of our lives as well as off Fab, how valuable would that be!!!

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By *rank EinsteinMan over a year ago

Burton upon stather

"Problem is site is way to easy to join. There's no security and anyone can sign up. You don't need a real email address and you don't need proof your 18.

Great idea .. Why not take the first membership payment via a credit card ?"

Because membership is optional and while there are many perks it's not essential to be a paying member.

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By *dwalu2Couple over a year ago

Bristol

There are hundreds of Gold members on Fab that are obvious fakes, so compulsory payment for the site would make no difference.

Use your common sense is the only thing that you can do, really.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

you go to clubs and parties but moan abt those with no veris? cheeky pair of do dos not everybody wants or actually gives a fuck abt veris! and who are you to dictate what rules should be put in place? if your not happy take a break have two kitkats

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By *he devil wears pradaWoman over a year ago

gosport ish

Let people run their profiles how they want to. The site gives you plenty of tools to help you 'avoid' certain others, use them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Like most genuine swingers we are getting increasingly frustrated trying to find / arrange meetings.

I wonder if only to clear the "Pretenders" if FAB might consider a "No picture No verifications within 6 months" then the account is closed.

Would be about bloody time 'if' they did! This site (and pretty much any other site) is riddled with fake profiles and idiots!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a genuine single guy I find it amazing the fakes - couples included. Recently I had a female contact me out of the blue then after I replied politely she decided to have a change of heart.

Now it's her choice and I just deleted her and moved on.

I had a couple try to entice me into bareback and it was obvious it wasn't a couple so block delete and move on.

You just have to be careful. The workd of perversions can be a treacherous one especially when everyone is thinking about their own needs.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Like most genuine swingers we are getting increasingly frustrated trying to find / arrange meetings.

I wonder if only to clear the "Pretenders" if FAB might consider a "No picture No verifications within 6 months" then the account is closed.

Sounfs great but they can come back on a different profile

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By *ngie1962 OP Couple over a year ago

Bedford

"you go to clubs and parties but moan abt those with no veris? cheeky pair of do dos not everybody wants or actually gives a fuck abt veris! and who are you to dictate what rules should be put in place? if your not happy take a break have two kitkats

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Problem is site is way to easy to join. There's no security and anyone can sign up. You don't need a real email address and you don't need proof your 18.

Great idea .. Why not take the first membership payment via a credit card ?"

and us people that cannot and some that do not want a credit card are therefore not worthy of being swingers????

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

You can easily look for people with meet verifications and pictures if you use the advanced search

That will cut out all of your issues

I don't believe people should be forced to have pictures or be photo verified,meet verified within a certain time frame but I know who I'll have less interest in if I was looking myself and required some sort of level of commitment to being genuine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well jus waited 30-60 mins for someone (won't name n Shame them) to turn up to a meet n no show no messages or nowt wot a waste of time now they blocked me on hee ffs why do these people do this!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Like most genuine swingers we are getting increasingly frustrated trying to find / arrange meetings.

I wonder if only to clear the "Pretenders" if FAB might consider a "No picture No verifications within 6 months" then the account is closed.

I got my first veri after a year, i got my first unverified meet after a year. I'm having my first verified meet this Saturday. I am not a pretender. I'll say to you what people say to new people after joining. Have patience.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Okay, I'll say it... Chrissie Hynde has done well not to get outed."

High five brother!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Who is chrissy hynnde?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reminds me of Gene Pitney

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well jus waited 30-60 mins for someone (won't name n Shame them) to turn up to a meet n no show no messages or nowt wot a waste of time now they blocked me on hee ffs why do these people do this! "

Sorry to hear that. All you can do is report the profile for a no show.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because we're genuine and respect others obviously you have a completely different attitude why resort to personal attacks? An alternative opinion or view is fine no need to be childish (Oh and we can spell !!)"
I apoligise if you think this is a personal childish attack, it is my attempt at humourous banter!

To insinuate i'm not genuine and have no respect goes against the fact i read your profile and fabbed pics, before i commented. And love your spelling comment very grown up!

Your entiteled to ur opinion same as me it's a forum. Best of luck and happy fabbing you sound like you could do with a laugh!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"then people would just create new accounts when the old one expires.

personally i would have thought a person who has been on for over a year with no meets is more genuine than one who just joined recently and by chance managed to get verified

also reading around the forums 6 months is apparently the average time a single male takes to get a meet.

Why would someone on here over a year with no meets be more genuine than someone on less time with meets?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Problem is site is way to easy to join. There's no security and anyone can sign up. You don't need a real email address and you don't need proof your 18.

Great idea .. Why not take the first membership payment via a credit card ?"

I'm 40 and don't have a credit card and what's more refuse to have one, so should I not be allowed to join because of that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have been on a year now and photo verified and very genuine but most of this year has been wasted by couples on here chatting for ages but then only wanting solo meets with female which we clearly state we aren't wanting ... Sadly we haven't met anyone yet and therefore not "verified " but that's because of the difficultly of finding another genuine couple not because we are fake ... So I disagree that we should be removed

Anita x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Like most genuine swingers we are getting increasingly frustrated trying to find / arrange meetings.

I wonder if only to clear the "Pretenders" if FAB might consider a "No picture No verifications within 6 months" then the account is closed.

I take your point Angie but the one comfort I take is that the fantasy profiles must ultimately be very frustrating. Posting fake pics,ages and status means they can never meet no matter how much interest they generate.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The more fakes you encounter, the easier it is to spot them. They'll never be a way of stopping pretenders joining so you've got to try and use your common sense. "

I think they should chuck all the dipshits with no common sense off the site. It would be much happier on here then.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"then people would just create new accounts when the old one expires.

personally i would have thought a person who has been on for over a year with no meets is more genuine than one who just joined recently and by chance managed to get verified

also reading around the forums 6 months is apparently the average time a single male takes to get a meet.

Why would someone on here over a year with no meets be more genuine than someone on less time with meets?"

They wouldn't nor would they be less genuine. By that i mean as a whole.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Problem is site is way to easy to join. There's no security and anyone can sign up. You don't need a real email address and you don't need proof your 18.

Great idea .. Why not take the first membership payment via a credit card ?"

Some don't have them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why would someone on here over a year with no meets be more genuine than someone on less time with meets?"

just my opinion that someone who was taking time and being active in the community here would more likely be genuine compared to someone who joined recently and got a verification by chance

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By *ilmiss75Woman over a year ago

Thornton

"Problem is site is way to easy to join. There's no security and anyone can sign up. You don't need a real email address and you don't need proof your 18.

Great idea .. Why not take the first membership payment via a credit card ?"

And what about those genuine people like me that dont have a credit care?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why don't you just block unverified members and tick the "must have verifications" option when searching.

Instantly all the so called "pretenders" you're complaining about vanish from the site.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We don't think credit cards are the way forward as like it's been said not everyone has one.

One site we are members of (not swinging) requires every member free or paying to upload their id before they can use any feature or message any person . Now it's not fool proof but there does seem to be a lot less talk of fakes and time wasters.

99% of any websites require you to activate your email address or use a text reply system fab doesn't .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We don't think credit cards are the way forward as like it's been said not everyone has one.

99% of any websites require you to activate your email address or use a text reply system fab doesn't . "

But has gives you the tools that you will never have to see unverified members or have them contact you.

All for the sake of 3 tick boxes.

The time it took you to whine you could have done thay

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We aren't whining , the question is how to get rid of them . We don't have any filters or any message blocks as we are quite capable of choosing who we meet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We aren't whining , the question is how to get rid of them . We don't have any filters or any message blocks as we are quite capable of choosing who we meet"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We aren't whining , the question is how to get rid of them . We don't have any filters or any message blocks as we are quite capable of choosing who we meet"

The way to get rid of them is tick the box so they don't show up.

I and many other genuine people wouldn't be here if I had to scan and upload my id because I wouldn't trust this site to have decent security.

You'd still get fantasists you'd just lose a lot of real people though

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

Why would someone on here over a year with no meets be more genuine than someone on less time with meets?

just my opinion that someone who was taking time and being active in the community here would more likely be genuine compared to someone who joined recently and got a verification by chance"

How do you get a "verification by chance?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We aren't whining , the question is how to get rid of them . We don't have any filters or any message blocks as we are quite capable of choosing who we meet"

No problems then. You get rid of them then they come back. Rinse repeat. Your way is the best way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why would someone on here over a year with no meets be more genuine than someone on less time with meets?

just my opinion that someone who was taking time and being active in the community here would more likely be genuine compared to someone who joined recently and got a verification by chance

How do you get a "verification by chance?""

A couple of chancers have asked us to verify them

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By *othingButCocoChanelWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

"Problem is site is way to easy to join. There's no security and anyone can sign up. You don't need a real email address and you don't need proof your 18.

Great idea .. Why not take the first membership payment via a credit card ?"

I dont have a credit card

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Problem is site is way to easy to join. There's no security and anyone can sign up. You don't need a real email address and you don't need proof your 18.

Great idea .. Why not take the first membership payment via a credit card ?"

I do not have a credit card and I am most certainly over 18. Does that mean I wouldn't get membership because I choose not to use credit?

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By *ordonBennettMan over a year ago

dover

Why would someone on here over a year with no meets be more genuine than someone on less time with meets?

just my opinion that someone who was taking time and being active in the community here would more likely be genuine compared to someone who joined recently and got a verification by chance"

The word "genuine" is overused on this site, and it's meaning here is especially obscure.

How do you get a verification "by chance"?

In fact, I find the whole message quite baffling.

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By *ain n MableWoman over a year ago

Milton Keynes

We share your frustration Angie, but unfortunately I don't think there is any way to stop timewasters, its the people they are not the site.

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By *onyneMan over a year ago

Newcastle

On one hand, it is said that people should have pics on show to show they are real, and on another there are apparently loads of fakers [who therefore cannot be trusted] clogging up the site... I think a lot of genuine people prefer to be more under the radar to avoid giving the 'fakers' too much information.

Some people do not post pics because of fakers, and because they like a degree of privacy, not because they aren't genuine

...and, as ever, we are all different

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By *ogistical NightmaresCouple over a year ago

Manchester Area

"Like most genuine swingers we are getting increasingly frustrated trying to find / arrange meetings.

I wonder if only to clear the "Pretenders" if FAB might consider a "No picture No verifications within 6 months" then the account is closed.

What's wrong with Pretenders??. Always thought "Brass in Pocket" was an ok track

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have spoken with Angie 1962 at a club and they are lovely couple with a great sense of humour.

But I have to say it took a year before my first meet on fab. I have been to clubs and had fun but you do not always get a verification. There are fun situations at clubs that render getting a veri difficult lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I got some veris but no longer ask for them from meets. To be honest I find it a bit weird. Havibg sex with someone and then reviewing them on a website. But, having said that, I do understand why we have them.

Someone recently commented that my veris were not recent enough. Which was odd as they had instigated the messaging in the first place. The truth is. I've had more meets than veris but I'm more likely to ask people not to veri me.

I'm probably in the minority with this take on things.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The more fakes you encounter, the easier it is to spot them. They'll never be a way of stopping pretenders joining so you've got to try and use your common sense.

I think they should chuck all the dipshits with no common sense off the site. It would be much happier on here then. "

Yeah, them and the shoe thieves......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unfortunately you will get a lot on here were the fantasy soon becomes the reality and they become uncomfortable and decide its not for them.

Maybe you could use the filters more and block non verified people or non site supporters to help.

Maybe do more of the looking yourselves if you don't already do this this way you can be more selective of the people you wish to meet. Good luck I hope it gets better for you both.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh oh oh yes

I'm the great

Pre-eee- te-end er

Pretending

That I'm

Doing we-hell

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Like most genuine swingers we are getting increasingly frustrated trying to find / arrange meetings.

I wonder if only to clear the "Pretenders" if FAB might consider a "No picture No verifications within 6 months" then the account is closed.

But can't you just do that yourself? Such people don't even appear on our radar generally.

That Chrissie Hynde though....

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh oh oh yes

I'm the great

Pre-eee- te-end er

Pretending

That I'm

Doing we-hell

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By *L RogueMan over a year ago

London

"Like most genuine swingers we are getting increasingly frustrated trying to find / arrange meetings.

I wonder if only to clear the "Pretenders" if FAB might consider a "No picture No verifications within 6 months" then the account is closed.

So you're suggesting that a person that gets messages from other people/couples they have no interest in or have received crude approaches from, should just pick one (compromising their safety and standards) for the sake of a green tick? Genius!

I appreciate you're frustrated by timewasters but there's a lot of people trying to explore their sexuality at a pace that suits them. Whether it takes them six days, six months or six years is none of your business. By the amount of verifications you have and the most recent, you seem to be doing fine. I recommend a chill pill.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Like most genuine swingers we are getting increasingly frustrated trying to find / arrange meetings.

I wonder if only to clear the "Pretenders" if FAB might consider a "No picture No verifications within 6 months" then the account is closed.

But can't you just do that yourself? Such people don't even appear on our radar generally.

That Chrissie Hynde though....

Mr ddc"

Saywher at Latitude last year.

Not to shabby for a grandma.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Like most genuine swingers we are getting increasingly frustrated trying to find / arrange meetings.

I wonder if only to clear the "Pretenders" if FAB might consider a "No picture No verifications within 6 months" then the account is closed.

Or you could just use filters to block unverified and those without pictures from messaging you

Oh and I'm not sure how or why you feel you can speak for "the majority of genuine swingers""

The op doesn't speak for me that's for sure !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By *ricerMan over a year ago

Stockton-on-Tees

"Who is chrissy hynnde?"

Don't get me wrong...

But seriously, you're either too young or have missed out on a top musical genius

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I find the definition of timewaster is far too freely thrown around on her 'we were messaging for weeks and then nothing blocked us' is one on the forums almost every week.. maybe they are not timewasters maybe you just didnt do it for them. And ones where meet is arranged and its a no show as long as they give as much notice as possible its not a timewaster and so often its couples complaining... seriously.. they backed out.. have sex together ffs no time wasted! As for credit card.. we would not be on here if we had to, why should we have to.

The cost of clubs can make it difficult for some to get veri's that way...

Simply put there will always be fake accounts and timewasters on here, all you can do is figure the best way of making sure you dont get caught out be that by filters, gut feeling or veri's...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We're on a different site where they have introduced a verification method where any new couple joining , the female must phone an automated see vice and verify they are a couple within 3 days or else the account is immediately closed . . Probably not fool proof but a great attempt .

We've been swinging nearly 9 years and like to think we can spot a fake . That said , we were 'taken in' big style this week and has seriously pissed me off . The lateness of it ruined the weekend we had planned . Another lesson learnt !!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

*service ........ Bloody predictive text ?? !

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By *oliath AwaitsMan over a year ago

Gateshead

The people who encounter pretenders or have an issue with them are often aggressive and negative. But I guess thats just another gross assumption.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The people who encounter pretenders or have an issue with them are often aggressive and negative. But I guess thats just another gross assumption."

How the hell do you work that one out ?? ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well I hope not coz I don't really want to have verifications or published ones, my love life is a secret thank you very much

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By *hepisstakersCouple (FF) over a year ago

London

The worst is when a single bloke pretends to be a couple - shes in america and never comes back!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The people who encounter pretenders or have an issue with them are often aggressive and negative. But I guess thats just another gross assumption."

How do you mean?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The people who encounter pretenders or have an issue with them are often aggressive and negative. But I guess thats just another gross assumption."

Do you mean people that have big rants on their profiles about

NO TIMEWASTERS

etc etc?

Those types of profiles do seem to attract people that want to wind them up.

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By *onyneMan over a year ago

Newcastle

"Like most genuine swingers we are getting increasingly frustrated trying to find / arrange meetings.

I wonder if only to clear the "Pretenders" if FAB might consider a "No picture No verifications within 6 months" then the account is closed.

...............

Perfect sense...sometimes these threads take no account of how we are all different and move with differing degrees of public openness, privacy and discretion...whilst still remaining perfectly genuine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"By the amount of verifications you have and the most recent, you seem to be doing fine. I recommend a chill pill.

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By *elvet RopeMan over a year ago

by the big field

"The word "genuine" is overused on this site, and it's meaning here is especially obscure"

As is the word 'swinger'

Unless it's changed recently, if you're verified by someone who leaves the site, their verification goes too (as is the case here)- so being here for an amount of time with none means diddley.

Some of us no longer use fab to actively find people, I mainly find my kink in other places- here it's more a case of opportunity and serendipity- or just enjoying looking at nice titties

Finally, the best swing site I was a member of had a 'no verification' policy and it seemed to work much better than here, and discretion was valued way above the V word.

I shall continue to evaluate people by the quality of their profiles or postings, not someone else's opinion of them.

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By *ngie1962 OP Couple over a year ago

Bedford

What did we start !!

Nothing wrong with people wanting to just socialise just look just mingle with like minded on fab .. These "Genuine" people don't ask to meet and don't turn up, agree to meet and use some stupid excuse at the last min, can only meet daytime ... If your a social member and just looking member great fine no problem but if you're a pretender just mucking genuine swingers about .. Go do one get lost you're not welcome xx

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