FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Please tell me I'm not alone
Please tell me I'm not alone
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've fell out with my Domme because she got jealous of one of my meets wanting to become a regular.
I can't be alone in an 'arrangement' turning sour when one party starts to fall for the other, can I?
Apparently she doesn't approve of my swinging lifestyle. First I knew of this sticking point. |
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"I've fell out with my Domme because she got jealous of one of my meets wanting to become a regular.
I can't be alone in an 'arrangement' turning sour when one party starts to fall for the other, can I?
Apparently she doesn't approve of my swinging lifestyle. First I knew of this sticking point. "
She will get over it  |
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"She doesn't understand it or approve of it. She's spent 15 years in the bdsm world. She's never been a swinger. "
does she need to understand or approve, is it in the dynamic of your relationship that she should or needs to? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was it never discussed when you started seeing her? Surely if it was a problem she should have said from the beginning, or has it only become an issue recently? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It was never a part of our relationship. She knew me and my wife swing. I've told her about it honestly. She didn't say she didn't approve. Just that it wouldn't suit her.
It blew up after we had a session in the dungeon. She released me to go and do what I wanted then. A guy I've been with before there took me to a room for an hour or so. Afterwards everyone was teasing because we'd been so long, but it was lighthearted.
I got a message from him the next day asking to meet on a regular basis and I text her to ask what she thought... Boom! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP - I'm sorry I hear but what I will say you already know...
BDSM is a lot different to swinging. While in swinging you can have NSA fun, in BDSM most Masters and submissives seek and crave a connection. It's can become a very deep symbiotic relationship. One person is consciously giving up their identity to be shaped by another. It can be and is an extreme case of Pavlov Theory in some cases (many actually)
Your (ex) Master may have felt betrayed.
Try talking to her. The first rule is negotiation and the second is Renegotitate (as individual needs and desires are always changing)
Hope my comments help.
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By *entkevMan
over a year ago
Dover |
My FB ditched me after an initial argument over me meeting an old female friend. It wasn't even a swing meet, she needed comfort after some bad luck.
I stupidly mentioned the meet to my FB and all he'll broke loose.
She then ditched me after getting her husband involved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've fell out with my Domme because she got jealous of one of my meets wanting to become a regular.
I can't be alone in an 'arrangement' turning sour when one party starts to fall for the other, can I?
Apparently she doesn't approve of my swinging lifestyle. First I knew of this sticking point. "
Find someone who is *actually* poly?
I have dated a fair few guys who after a few dates have told me that they thought I'd have left my long term partners by then, so that we could be 'serious'. Oh how I laugh. Each time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My relationship with my.... I'm not happy to say ex, domme, is not sexual. Her roping is masterful and her impact work is fulfilling.
we usually meet up at a monthly or bimonthly, Tgirl party. There is a lot of sex going on there and that was what I was there for before we started this interaction. She knows I want sex from the men and bdsm from her.
As for talking to her; I'm trying to..... If only she'd reply! After a furious exchange with me apologising and admitting how awful I felt and eventually I said I felt I should just fade away and pack Rachael away in her closet again, she has shut down on me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Choose one life style or the other. Some Dom's/Dommes are ok to share, some clearly not.
Canny help thinking you're maybe 'testing' the boss for a reaction?!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My relationship with my.... I'm not happy to say ex, domme, is not sexual. Her roping is masterful and her impact work is fulfilling.
we usually meet up at a monthly or bimonthly, Tgirl party. There is a lot of sex going on there and that was what I was there for before we started this interaction. She knows I want sex from the men and bdsm from her.
As for talking to her; I'm trying to..... If only she'd reply! After a furious exchange with me apologising and admitting how awful I felt and eventually I said I felt I should just fade away and pack Rachael away in her closet again, she has shut down on me.
"
Don't pack Rachel & those awesome legs away!!
Talk to her hun and if you can't agree then maybe just maybe it's not meant to be  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After a furious exchange with me apologising
Never apologise for who you are."
Totally agree... And certainly don't let this stop you being Rachael.
If she won't talk though then I personally would be questioning whether she is the right person for me to be submitting to, but I guess I don't know you're dynamic together so that may be unfair of me to say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Was it never discussed when you started seeing her? Surely if it was a problem she should have said from the beginning, or has it only become an issue recently?"
Why would you discuss it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I didn't apologise for being me. I apologised for assuming he was telling the truth when he said he had sought her permission.
Update; she's responding to messages now. So we are talking.
I wasn't testing 'the boss'. I'm not stupid. I know the result of that! I've had one of those beatings and screaming and crying isn't my usual was of taking it!
I'm hoping we can work this out as Dommes you connect with don't come along every day. Dommes don't find subs like me very often either. I know it works both ways. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Someone who can't discuss an issue like this in a calm and adult manner but instead blows up and then resorts to emotional blackmail is not someone I'd trust tieing me up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone who can't discuss an issue like this in a calm and adult manner but instead blows up and then resorts to emotional blackmail is not someone I'd trust tieing me up."
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