FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How to spot fakes and time wasters
How to spot fakes and time wasters
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Fairy new to all this although I did have a brief spell on her before and met a few singles ... This time I'm shocked at just how many fakes and time wasters are on here ... Twice this week I've turned up to no shows ... What are the best steps to take to avoid this ? Thanks in advance |
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I've been lucky but the ones that for me have turned out to be time wasters have all been new site members without verifications. We go with our gut feelings but my logical mind says make sure the person you are meeting is well verified and check the profiles of the members who have verified them.
Sorry you've had such bad experiences tho |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
My only stand up was from a verified member when i was first here.I'd say cam with them if you can to make sure they are who they say and go with your instinct.You do get a feel for people i think after a while,good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Usernames like 'hotcumslutneedsbarebackfucknow' would set alarm bells off........
Always finding excuses not to send a face pic,
Same with suggestion of Skype/cam to confirm that it's who they say they are.
Refusal to meet for social,
Refusal to accept a quick hello phone call,
Gut feelings
All of these contribute to the bullshit detector. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I will admit last nights meet was a new member but I just thought I'd give them a chance as we all start somewhere with our first meet .... But the previous one we spoke on cam via Skype chatted arrange to meet and they failed to show and hidden there profile ... I genuinely don't understand what the time wasters get out of it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will admit last nights meet was a new member but I just thought I'd give them a chance as we all start somewhere with our first meet .... But the previous one we spoke on cam via Skype chatted arrange to meet and they failed to show and hidden there profile ... I genuinely don't understand what the time wasters get out of it "
I never meet anyone that's new and not already meet verified,like the others have said follow your gut and if she's to good to be true...then she's probably fake |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had a few blokes mess about, one begging to meet. I agree, only for him to go offline and not re appear again next day. A few guys have done that. Have a meet arranged for today. Gave him my number last week. He messaged me yesterday to say he was deleting his account and to text him.
Text him to arrange the meet but nothing yet, so not holding out much hope.
Then there was the guy ages ago who I met. Had a play, bombarded me with messages before going offline for weeks. When he messages again he tells me he lives in Australia now. Fair enough, few months later he messages a friend asking for a meet because he's local also. Why lie. I just don't understand.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I read a fair few posts like this....so maybe the site IS getting worse? To be fair, as far as individual meets go I can only think of one no show in 3 years. (So about 0.5% of meets).
Maybe I have been lucky....or maybe my bullshit filter has become well tuned? A few more obvious signs have been highlighted above....along with some good tips! |
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We like to see them on cam or if they don't have a cam in this day and age it is so simple to send a quick picture. We always request one either holding up a certain amount of fingers or holding an everyday object such as a hairbrush.
I think we mentioned in a previous thread the plug sockets it always a good giveaway as well.... We had one 'female' with USA plug sockets in the background. We asked where the pic was taken and 'she' said "just taken in my bedroom now". We asked where she was and she said Blackpool then we mentioned the plugs and weirdly the profile was deleted within the hour! |
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Various things set alarm bells off one that always strikes with me is a lass that's unverified but complains about still not having a meet after 6 months, sorry most genuine women could get a meet (social or other) in 6 mins or at least 6 days |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I knew I was going to have problems getting going again because of the "No verification no meeting" that people have to follow because of these idiots.
I had about a dozen verifications on my profile before I left last year (due to starting a relationship) but I got a new one Friday so I'm on my way again I hope  |
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"Various things set alarm bells off one that always strikes with me is a lass that's unverified but complains about still not having a meet after 6 months, sorry most genuine women could get a meet (social or other) in 6 mins or at least 6 days "
Can be true of some but not all. On the profile i had previous to.this it took me 3 months to get a meet due to childcare issues |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't do any wank talk. The ones who want to meet will stick around,the wankers will move on to the obliging people. Can't say what actual women do,maybe attention seekers that like the flattery? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I knew I was going to have problems getting going again because of the "No verification no meeting" that people have to follow because of these idiots.
I had about a dozen verifications on my profile before I left last year (due to starting a relationship) but I got a new one Friday so I'm on my way again I hope "
I am always highly suspicious of people who claim to have been on previously and were previously well verified but are unverified on their new profile.
In the context of the opening post it's something that would always set off alarm bells |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't let the verified tick/veris fool you either....been messed about by people with that as well
only 100% certainty for us now is to attend clubs and parties...least there you know everyone is genuine and can also see them in the flesh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just take your time and get to know the person as much as you can real verifications are a must not cam ones and if do arrange a meet make it local so it doesn't cost you much if it's a no show. And an old saying if it's to good to be true it usually is. |
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"Various things set alarm bells off one that always strikes with me is a lass that's unverified but complains about still not having a meet after 6 months, sorry most genuine women could get a meet (social or other) in 6 mins or at least 6 days
Can be true of some but not all. On the profile i had previous to.this it took me 3 months to get a meet due to childcare issues "
Not saying it's impossible for it to happen but always makes me think wary thoughts |
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"Various things set alarm bells off one that always strikes with me is a lass that's unverified but complains about still not having a meet after 6 months, sorry most genuine women could get a meet (social or other) in 6 mins or at least 6 days
Can be true of some but not all. On the profile i had previous to.this it took me 3 months to get a meet due to childcare issues
Not saying it's impossible for it to happen but always makes me think wary thoughts "
Well we all have certain things we consider to be suspicious.
I have my own but im not annoucing them publically. |
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Unfortunately swinging has been in the tabloid press quite a lot in recent years, with website names being printed, which has meant a huge increase in people "jumping on the bandwagon". Most are not swingers but chancers just looking for free sex, but spotting them isn't always easy. I just go with my gut. Works for me. |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"This seems like a great idea for a thread in tgeory, however anyone to respond as just told the fake timewasters exactly what not to do if you want to succeed at pissing people about"
Of course, they'd have to be genuine to circumvent most of the suggestions...so really it doesn't matter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are newbies to the scene. We will not be uploading any identifiable pics or giving of phone number.......does this mean we are fakes & timewasters to others ??????  |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"We are newbies to the scene. We will not be uploading any identifiable pics or giving of phone number.......does this mean we are fakes & timewasters to others ?????? "
It doesn't imply either...but it does mean you may find it harder to get meets.
Fakes and time wasters are not necessarily the same thing, by the way. |
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You can never be 100% certain..good communication is key. You need to be in touch regularly in the lead up to the meet and cofirm when leaving home.
Even so, I think be relaxed about meeting. I always have a Plan B like meeting a friend or just going to the pics so it doesnt feel like a waste of time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Accasionally I've been wrong as I been speaking to a bloke on and off for 6mths, he has been on fab over a year and said he were going to a bmfc last month, nope he didnt show up, so I teased when he said he be at fridays bmfc, and I was in shock he actually came 
people can fake a pic verified profile and as I meet only at party's, I give them a chance   , some woman may have given up on him
sometimes the pics etc look too good to be true, lack of verifications gives the impression there not real |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Suppose I have been lucky had 1 no show in 2 years, then I usually meet regular guys, I do one off meets I just seem to know if they are genuine when chatting to them, there is the fantasists and dreamers and real people. I find if the chat and messaging goes on there getting of another way and are not genuine though I could be wrong, |
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"I knew I was going to have problems getting going again because of the "No verification no meeting" that people have to follow because of these idiots.
I had about a dozen verifications on my profile before I left last year (due to starting a relationship) but I got a new one Friday so I'm on my way again I hope
I am always highly suspicious of people who claim to have been on previously and were previously well verified but are unverified on their new profile.
In the context of the opening post it's something that would always set off alarm bells"
That's really mean |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fairy new to all this although I did have a brief spell on her before and met a few singles ... This time I'm shocked at just how many fakes and time wasters are on here ... Twice this week I've turned up to no shows ... What are the best steps to take to avoid this ? Thanks in advance"
Corr we would defo show to a meet with you
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We arranged meet for Saturday night.Exchanged messages and texts.Drove around looking for rendezvous point so decided to ring him but his phone switched off.Left a curt message and went home.Received a text later with a brilliant bullshit excuse.Looked at his profile tonight and he has a verification for Saturday. |
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"id delete if i could. oh dear i have been a really bad boy "
Well take it on the chin and call it a lesson learned honey. In all fairness if youve not read the rules you werent to know unless someone told you so try not to feel too bad |
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I can say that after just two weeks on here I have found it so very difficult to get a meet as so many people are suspicious.
Initially I had a face shot on my profile and then two of my friends pointed out to me that was a no no! (I didn't know they were on here)
I guess I would be happy to touch base with a phone call and then social meet as you have to ensure a good connection.
Sadly the time wasters are making the rest of us suffer. |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"Fairy new to all this although I did have a brief spell on her before and met a few singles ... This time I'm shocked at just how many fakes and time wasters are on here ... Twice this week I've turned up to no shows ... What are the best steps to take to avoid this ? Thanks in advance"
1) Ask to speak on Skype webcam. iPhones, iPads, all come with a camera plus so do many other models
2) Meet in clubs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We arranged meet for Saturday night.Exchanged messages and texts.Drove around looking for rendezvous point so decided to ring him but his phone switched off.Left a curt message and went home.Received a text later with a brilliant bullshit excuse.Looked at his profile tonight and he has a verification for Saturday."
hedging his bets....but that is downright rude....report him |
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"You can never be 100% certain..good communication is key. You need to be in touch regularly in the lead up to the meet and cofirm when leaving home.
Even so, I think be relaxed about meeting. I always have a Plan B like meeting a friend or just going to the pics so it doesnt feel like a waste of time."
That's what I do. Verifications mean fuck all to me. What a total stranger has to say about another stranger has absolutely no bearing on whom I take to bed.
I meet socially at lunch time near my office at Costa's where I was going anyway or at the station at 5.15, if they're not there no biggie, my train is at 27 past. For a play meet I book the day off or work from home. The flexible day I'd have taken anyway, work I do when they've gone.
This works for me. In seven years: 0 no shows or time waster...quite a few I wish hadn't!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
... Verifications mean fuck all to me. What a total stranger has to say about another stranger has absolutely no bearing on whom I take to bed.
....
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok well I just cancelled on my first meet, scheduled for tomorrow lunchtime. I was going to sneak out of the office but I got a load of work dumped on my desk today that I really can't get out of. It's a genuine shame as I was really looking forward to it. I messaged her to let her know so that she doesn't waste time waiting around for me tomorrow but The lady has since deleted me as a friend and blocked me, which I thought was kind of harsh - I wasn't faking and I was hoping we could stay friends still. I'm not trying to make excuses for fakers, but isn't it a little too easy to dismiss people who really have to cancel a meet and give at least 24hrs notice? |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"Ok well I just cancelled on my first meet, scheduled for tomorrow lunchtime. I was going to sneak out of the office but I got a load of work dumped on my desk today that I really can't get out of. It's a genuine shame as I was really looking forward to it. I messaged her to let her know so that she doesn't waste time waiting around for me tomorrow but The lady has since deleted me as a friend and blocked me, which I thought was kind of harsh - I wasn't faking and I was hoping we could stay friends still. I'm not trying to make excuses for fakers, but isn't it a little too easy to dismiss people who really have to cancel a meet and give at least 24hrs notice? "
I wouldn't be happy with a first meet being squeezed into lunch hour in the first place |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok well I just cancelled on my first meet, scheduled for tomorrow lunchtime. I was going to sneak out of the office but I got a load of work dumped on my desk today that I really can't get out of. It's a genuine shame as I was really looking forward to it. I messaged her to let her know so that she doesn't waste time waiting around for me tomorrow but The lady has since deleted me as a friend and blocked me, which I thought was kind of harsh - I wasn't faking and I was hoping we could stay friends still. I'm not trying to make excuses for fakers, but isn't it a little too easy to dismiss people who really have to cancel a meet and give at least 24hrs notice?
I wouldn't be happy with a first meet being squeezed into lunch hour in the first place "
Ha well it's going to be a rather long lunch - I was going to make up some excuse for where I was going to be for a few hours. We'd talked on the phone about the logistics and she was happy with this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
... Verifications mean fuck all to me. What a total stranger has to say about another stranger has absolutely no bearing on whom I take to bed.
....
"
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are newbies to the scene. We will not be uploading any identifiable pics or giving of phone number.......does this mean we are fakes & timewasters to others ?????? "
Agree , I don't want my face splashed all over my profile but I have it uploaded as a private pic which I can then send via message to anyone who I might want to send it too x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly if someone can't speak on the phone. I can't trust them. I need to find out if you're creepy before we meet. And if you're, I can always block your number. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"We are newbies to the scene. We will not be uploading any identifiable pics or giving of phone number.......does this mean we are fakes & timewasters to others ??????
Agree , I don't want my face splashed all over my profile but I have it uploaded as a private pic which I can then send via message to anyone who I might want to send it too x"
It's up to you what you will and won't do, but then it's the same for the people you might be interested in meeting.
For example if you don't trust me with your phone number that's fine, but it would also mean that I wouldn't trust you putting your cock inside my wife. You don't have to have identifiable pics in your public profile, but if you won't upload them to the site at all, or send them another way like through kik, I doubt many people will want to meet. I know we wouldn't. |
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I've always gone with phone conversations as my main way to both make a connection with someone and also to gauge their responses to my questions, which don't give them the luxury of thinking time, which electronic messages do.
Very new users deserve closer scrutiny if not verified.
After arranging the meet, agree on a protocol for progress updates.
If someone is hesitant, back off and leave the ball in their court or drop them - they may not be ready, although genuine or could be showing signs of their story unravelling or just being dishonest.
Keep most interaction off instant messaging apps.
Always trust your gut instinct even if it means you sometimes lose out.
Ask them to repeat their understanding of what you've all agreed to. Even if genuine, it helps ensure you all share a common plan. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fairy new to all this although I did have a brief spell on her before and met a few singles ... This time I'm shocked at just how many fakes and time wasters are on here ... Twice this week I've turned up to no shows ... What are the best steps to take to avoid this ? Thanks in advance"
Speak on phone works best for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's really easy in clubs all the people there are real.
"
Exactly this.... Clubs and parties. Everyone is (usually) real and even if their life stories are fake we don't really care.
Much more fun for us than solo meets.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly if someone can't speak on the phone. I can't trust them. I need to find out if you're creepy before we meet. And if you're, I can always block your number. "
I point blank refuse to have a phone conversation. Doesn't mean someone is fake. |
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By *estLondonGuy49Man
over a year ago
Harrow Ealing Northolt Uxbridge London |
You cant take one sign in isolation. But I look at the pics......most genuine women (not all) dont post nude or glam shots that also show full face. I look at the screenname.."fuckmenowbigboy" is often a male fantasy. I look at the list of interests....if everything is ticked I get suspicious. I look at the verifications. I look at how long someone has been on the site. I look at what they say in the text box....real women might be rude but rarely crude (at least in print). If we exchange messages I dont mind giving out my number (its my swinging-only phone) making it clear I dont want a phone wank and saying they can withhold their number when dialling.....although I NEVER meet without their number in case of emergencies either way. And its a womans world on here.....if I cancel a .meet I dont expect a second chance. P.s. I dont cancel!
None of the above are clinchers on their own but its like interviewing someone for a job......you can soon sense the bullshitters! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok well I just cancelled on my first meet, scheduled for tomorrow lunchtime. I was going to sneak out of the office but I got a load of work dumped on my desk today that I really can't get out of. It's a genuine shame as I was really looking forward to it. I messaged her to let her know so that she doesn't waste time waiting around for me tomorrow but The lady has since deleted me as a friend and blocked me, which I thought was kind of harsh - I wasn't faking and I was hoping we could stay friends still. I'm not trying to make excuses for fakers, but isn't it a little too easy to dismiss people who really have to cancel a meet and give at least 24hrs notice? "
Once bitten twice shy,I'd probably have done the same as she did |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly if someone can't speak on the phone. I can't trust them. I need to find out if you're creepy before we meet. And if you're, I can always block your number.
I point blank refuse to have a phone conversation. Doesn't mean someone is fake."
That's fine for you. But I don't schedule first meets through email or text. I like to build a rapport with people before a meet. Think about it , if you can't trust me to give me your number. Which you can always block. How can you trust me to shag your wife or trust me with your home address?
I could have missed out on some great people. But I will survive  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly if someone can't speak on the phone. I can't trust them. I need to find out if you're creepy before we meet. And if you're, I can always block your number.
I point blank refuse to have a phone conversation. Doesn't mean someone is fake.
That's fine for you. But I don't schedule first meets through email or text. I like to build a rapport with people before a meet. Think about it , if you can't trust me to give me your number. Which you can always block. How can you trust me to shag your wife or trust me with your home address?
I could have missed out on some great people. But I will survive "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly if someone can't speak on the phone. I can't trust them. I need to find out if you're creepy before we meet. And if you're, I can always block your number. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok well I just cancelled on my first meet, scheduled for tomorrow lunchtime. I was going to sneak out of the office but I got a load of work dumped on my desk today that I really can't get out of. It's a genuine shame as I was really looking forward to it. I messaged her to let her know so that she doesn't waste time waiting around for me tomorrow but The lady has since deleted me as a friend and blocked me, which I thought was kind of harsh - I wasn't faking and I was hoping we could stay friends still. I'm not trying to make excuses for fakers, but isn't it a little too easy to dismiss people who really have to cancel a meet and give at least 24hrs notice? "
Maybe she thought that she should be a higher priority than 'sneaking out the office' - we'd have done the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The truth of the matter is that you cannot eliminate them, but you can devise a system of your own that reduces the chances of being let down on a meet. My biggest pet hate are the serial messagers. They write and write but you can never pin them down to meet. I give them some time, as nerves do play a part, but at a certain point my patience goes and I delete them off my friend list. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Since I posted this I have had 2 further arranged meets with couples both verified 1st one a guy turned up on his own and said his Mrs couldn't make it last minute ... 2nd simply didn't show up and profile is now hidden ... I'm speaking to a very nice couple but they are at the other end of the country ... I'm honestly struggling to find a couple to meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since I posted this I have had 2 further arranged meets with couples both verified 1st one a guy turned up on his own and said his Mrs couldn't make it last minute ... 2nd simply didn't show up and profile is now hidden ... I'm speaking to a very nice couple but they are at the other end of the country ... I'm honestly struggling to find a couple to meet "
why not just meet women then???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its easy
If a hot girl you've messaged replies straight away, she is a man  "
Oy! I (very occasionally) reply straight away!
I resent that
Fred xx
Erm - I mean Paula!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's really easy in clubs all the people there are real.
Exactly this.... Clubs and parties. Everyone is (usually) real and even if their life stories are fake we don't really care.
Much more fun for us than solo meets.
"
Agreed! Rarely meet outside clubs and parties due to high numbers of no-shows/last minute cancellations/people looking nothing like their profile pics! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's really easy in clubs all the people there are real.
Exactly this.... Clubs and parties. Everyone is (usually) real and even if their life stories are fake we don't really care.
Much more fun for us than solo meets.
Agreed! Rarely meet outside clubs and parties due to high numbers of no-shows/last minute cancellations/people looking nothing like their profile pics! X"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will admit last nights meet was a new member but I just thought I'd give them a chance as we all start somewhere with our first meet .... But the previous one we spoke on cam via Skype chatted arrange to meet and they failed to show and hidden there profile ... I genuinely don't understand what the time wasters get out of it "
There seems to be a fair amount of dreamers and wannabes in the swinging world,who shit themselves when they get the chance of a meet and don't turn up... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Since I posted this I have had 2 further arranged meets with couples both verified 1st one a guy turned up on his own and said his Mrs couldn't make it last minute ... 2nd simply didn't show up and profile is now hidden ... I'm speaking to a very nice couple but they are at the other end of the country ... I'm honestly
struggling to find a couple to meet
why not just meet women then????"
I have never ruled out just meeting women I would just really like to meet a couple that I click with and trust for regular fun ... In a ideal world I would have a regular women to and maybe the 4 of could meet up from time to time but that seems a million miles away |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just arrange to meet a few guys. If 1 doesn't turn up I still get fun from the others.
Good strategy
Can't imagine you'd get many no shows tho..."
had a few. Their loss. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just arrange to meet a few guys. If 1 doesn't turn up I still get fun from the others.
Good strategy
Can't imagine you'd get many no shows tho...had a few. Their loss. "
So you say...
Could only judge that for myself... |
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"Fairy new to all this although I did have a brief spell on her before and met a few singles ... This time I'm shocked at just how many fakes and time wasters are on here ... Twice this week I've turned up to no shows ... What are the best steps to take to avoid this ? Thanks in advance"
The best way to avoid turning up for no shows is not to go.
Seriously, check how you are making arrangements and establish they are genuine before agreeing to meet. |
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By *onyneMan
over a year ago
Newcastle |
I have generally been fairly lucky though I don't write out to people much and tend to chat a while before any possible meet. the whole verification/pics thing can be a guide but there are a lot of people on here who are genuine and like to stay 'under the radar' a little due to liking more discretion or privacy for whatever reasons.
I have noticed though a proliferation of profiles recently that seem to have one repeated line, with same punctuation ...'I am a [woman/couple x years] who would like to meet men, women, couples' and that's it...Loads of them. I am sure some are genuine though and they have just typed a sentence after seeing other profiles...not sure about everyone!
Go with instinct is the answer, as it is for most things on the site |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have noticed though a proliferation of profiles recently that seem to have one repeated line, with same punctuation ...'I am a [woman/couple x years] who would like to meet men, women, couples' and that's it...Loads of them. I am sure some are genuine though and they have just typed a sentence after seeing other profiles...not sure about everyone!
Go with instinct is the answer, as it is for most things on the site"
That's the default text on any new profile based on preferences |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A hot chick asking for loads of dick pics straight away,is usually a closet guy. Take note."
hey I ask for cock pics lol x
after face pics of course though...I am polite ....yes a perv, but polite |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A hot chick asking for loads of dick pics straight away,is usually a closet guy. Take note.
hey I ask for cock pics lol x
after face pics of course though...I am polite ....yes a perv, but polite "
Fair enough, I guess I'm just unlucky |
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"Oy! I (very occasionally) reply straight away!
I resent that
Fred xx
Erm - I mean Paula! "
Well, isn't that funny.
According the message I've sent you more than a week ago you still haven't even opened it :D
However you DO state on your profile, that you're more like a forum addict, instead of Private messaging, so that's fare, I guess  |
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I've a scenario, say you've been talking to a "couple", yet the female half is almost always unavailable. The male half indicates that he is bi or at least bi curious, and he is mostly talking and relating to your male half. Should we be concerned? We've done our research and as far as we can tell they are a real couple but it feels like he's more so trying to do this behind her back. Thoughts? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"I've a scenario, say you've been talking to a "couple", yet the female half is almost always unavailable. The male half indicates that he is bi or at least bi curious, and he is mostly talking and relating to your male half. Should we be concerned? We've done our research and as far as we can tell they are a real couple but it feels like he's more so trying to do this behind her back. Thoughts?"
Ask to speak to the wife |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Google image every pic first. Then talk to them on webcam to make sure they are who they say they are. Those two things mean you never have to meet a fake account and be stood up. As for the rest, i don't know. I've never been stood up but i have had cancellations. It's not a big deal. |
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We have been speaking on KIK, we got burned giving out our numbers to new couples before we actually meet them and know they aren't fakers. We do group chat on KIK with the 4 of us but she never has anything to say. Now to be fair I the male half usually do the talking to people out and my other half talks here and there, but she still engages. My worry with them started when they we're switching back and forth on profiles because phone was "dying" but it's always him. Or it'll be his profile saying it's her... |
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We looked them up on facebook but their profiles are both private they both say in a relationship but we cant see with who. Their profile pics are the only thing we can see on their timeline and it's either with them alone, or them with their kids. Like I said I don't doubt they are a real couple I'm just iffy on his intentions or if she even knows he's got their pics on a swinger site and trying to corral couples or men... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"We looked them up on facebook but their profiles are both private they both say in a relationship but we cant see with who. Their profile pics are the only thing we can see on their timeline and it's either with them alone, or them with their kids. Like I said I don't doubt they are a real couple I'm just iffy on his intentions or if she even knows he's got their pics on a swinger site and trying to corral couples or men... "
I think if you feel the need to do all of that and still have doubts then just back away
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"
I think if you feel the need to do all of that and still have doubts then just back away
"
Well with anyone we're interested in possibly meeting we do our homework on them. That being said we're letting it play out and see where it goes, if they put their foot in their mouth then we'll call them on it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fairy new to all this although I did have a brief spell on her before and met a few singles ... This time I'm shocked at just how many fakes and time wasters are on here ... Twice this week I've turned up to no shows ... What are the best steps to take to avoid this ? Thanks in advance"
how do you spot fakes/wasters we were here for a while last year never really met up with anyone and now we are back it looks like we have been here a while with no verifications dreams time water apparently?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been lucky but the ones that for me have turned out to be time wasters have all been new site members without verifications. We go with our gut feelings but my logical mind says make sure the person you are meeting is well verified and check the profiles of the members who have verified them.
Sorry you've had such bad experiences tho"
Why if your new without versus does this mean your time wasters we all have to start somewhere any advice as to how? Please |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fairy new to all this although I did have a brief spell on her before and met a few singles ... This time I'm shocked at just how many fakes and time wasters are on here ... Twice this week I've turned up to no shows ... What are the best steps to take to avoid this ? Thanks in advance"
were these people verified genuine? did you speak to them on the phone to comfirm genuine?
too many people are keyboard warriors and will talk the talk on forums and private messages
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By *onyneMan
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"I have noticed though a proliferation of profiles recently that seem to have one repeated line, with same punctuation ...'I am a [woman/couple x years] who would like to meet men, women, couples' and that's it...Loads of them. I am sure some are genuine though and they have just typed a sentence after seeing other profiles...not sure about everyone!
Go with instinct is the answer, as it is for most things on the site
That's the default text on any new profile based on preferences"
Ah, thanks! That does make sense...I didn't know that... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am a guy I always do as I say.
I have wasted time with fakes and women that just like a free lunch .
People are right fakes are killing the site. When I first started on this site I was meeting some nice couples and some nice lady's. But now I am wasting time
I am lucky I made some long time fuck buddy's when it was good. |
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" I am a guy I always do as I say.
I have wasted time with fakes and women that just like a free lunch .
People are right fakes are killing the site. When I first started on this site I was meeting some nice couples and some nice lady's. But now I am wasting time
I am lucky I made some long time fuck buddy's when it was good. "
Don't pay then. No one should expect anything paid for them. It's not a date. Even a coffee and a chat is enough to decide if you want to take things further. |
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"Fairy new to all this although I did have a brief spell on her before and met a few singles ... This time I'm shocked at just how many fakes and time wasters are on here ... Twice this week I've turned up to no shows ... What are the best steps to take to avoid this ? Thanks in advance"
I'd leave the site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fairy new to all this although I did have a brief spell on her before and met a few singles ... This time I'm shocked at just how many fakes and time wasters are on here ... Twice this week I've turned up to no shows ... What are the best steps to take to avoid this ? Thanks in advance
I'd leave the site. "
On the ball tonight Steve |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" I am a guy I always do as I say.
I have wasted time with fakes and women that just like a free lunch .
People are right fakes are killing the site. When I first started on this site I was meeting some nice couples and some nice lady's. But now I am wasting time
I am lucky I made some long time fuck buddy's when it was good. "
I wouldn't allow any man to buy me lunch in case he thinks I owe him sex for it. When I've been for a social I've bought drinks; I've been for dinner once where the man insisted on paying,but if I didn't want sex with him I wouldn't have. Now I don't have socials unless they insist. |
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"Fairy new to all this although I did have a brief spell on her before and met a few singles ... This time I'm shocked at just how many fakes and time wasters are on here ... Twice this week I've turned up to no shows ... What are the best steps to take to avoid this ? Thanks in advance
I'd leave the site.
On the ball tonight Steve "
22 weeks. I'm a slow typer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fairy new to all this although I did have a brief spell on her before and met a few singles ... This time I'm shocked at just how many fakes and time wasters are on here ... Twice this week I've turned up to no shows ... What are the best steps to take to avoid this ? Thanks in advance"
and another one bites the dust he's probably opening another profile now as we speak |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fairy new to all this although I did have a brief spell on her before and met a few singles ... This time I'm shocked at just how many fakes and time wasters are on here ... Twice this week I've turned up to no shows ... What are the best steps to take to avoid this ? Thanks in advance"
and another one bites the dust he's probably opening another profile now as we speak I've been let down so many times I've lost count and paid out for hotels travelling expenses and food but unfortunately sex is a luxury item and the tax is quite often disappointment all you can do is smile and move on so I do hehe xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we are re-joiners - and have to totally agree with OP that the site has gone downhill unfortunately. Nobody's fault in particular - its initial success has led to literally hundreds of bull-shitters, fantasists, fakes, weirdos and people who use it as a chat site rather than a site to actually meet people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we are re-joiners - and have to totally agree with OP that the site has gone downhill unfortunately. Nobody's fault in particular - its initial success has led to literally hundreds of bull-shitters, fantasists, fakes, weirdos and people who use it as a chat site rather than a site to actually meet people. "
I think most people want to meet but it's wether they are worthy of the very slim on the ground over messaged women and couples theirs a certain element of luck to it all  |
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By *errygTV/TS
over a year ago
denton |
"We like to see them on cam or if they don't have a cam in this day and age it is so simple to send a quick picture. We always request one either holding up a certain amount of fingers or holding an everyday object such as a hairbrush.
I think we mentioned in a previous thread the plug sockets it always a good giveaway as well.... We had one 'female' with USA plug sockets in the background. We asked where the pic was taken and 'she' said "just taken in my bedroom now". We asked where she was and she said Blackpool then we mentioned the plugs and weirdly the profile was deleted within the hour! "
it is surprising what you see in background i think only india share our plug sockets |
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"Google image every pic first. Then talk to them on webcam to make sure they are who they say they are. Those two things mean you never have to meet a fake account and be stood up. As for the rest, i don't know. I've never been stood up but i have had cancellations. It's not a big deal."
We have our suspicions about a person on Fab who we've been in correspondence with. So, I have just done the google image search which took me to a porn site. Suspicions confirmed, I guess.
So, do I 'out' her on here or is there a way of reporting 'her'? |
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"Google image every pic first. Then talk to them on webcam to make sure they are who they say they are. Those two things mean you never have to meet a fake account and be stood up. As for the rest, i don't know. I've never been stood up but i have had cancellations. It's not a big deal.
We have our suspicions about a person on Fab who we've been in correspondence with. So, I have just done the google image search which took me to a porn site. Suspicions confirmed, I guess.
So, do I 'out' her on here or is there a way of reporting 'her'? "
the "report user" tab on left hand side of page on profile. We did the same recently, couple from West Mids who take all their pics soft focus on a Florida/Cali beach and include 2 or more of their stunning blonde porn actress friends in the pics... |
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I was talking to someone last week whose wife was mysteriously never available and when I challenged them about it I got told I was too much trouble and got blocked!! Sure fire way to prove me right lol xx |
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"I was talking to someone last week whose wife was mysteriously never available and when I challenged them about it I got told I was too much trouble and got blocked!! Sure fire way to prove me right lol xx"
But a quick and simple way to get to the truth |
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"Google image every pic first. Then talk to them on webcam to make sure they are who they say they are. Those two things mean you never have to meet a fake account and be stood up. As for the rest, i don't know. I've never been stood up but i have had cancellations. It's not a big deal.
We have our suspicions about a person on Fab who we've been in correspondence with. So, I have just done the google image search which took me to a porn site. Suspicions confirmed, I guess.
So, do I 'out' her on here or is there a way of reporting 'her'?
the "report user" tab on left hand side of page on profile. We did the same recently, couple from West Mids who take all their pics soft focus on a Florida/Cali beach and include 2 or more of their stunning blonde porn actress friends in the pics... "
Lol
Thanks, but out of interest, what is to stop him/her from retaliating by reporting us? We have only just started so don't have any verifications yet (although we have met some couples who can vouch for us). And who investigates the report? |
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"Google image every pic first. Then talk to them on webcam to make sure they are who they say they are. Those two things mean you never have to meet a fake account and be stood up. As for the rest, i don't know. I've never been stood up but i have had cancellations. It's not a big deal.
We have our suspicions about a person on Fab who we've been in correspondence with. So, I have just done the google image search which took me to a porn site. Suspicions confirmed, I guess.
So, do I 'out' her on here or is there a way of reporting 'her'?
the "report user" tab on left hand side of page on profile. We did the same recently, couple from West Mids who take all their pics soft focus on a Florida/Cali beach and include 2 or more of their stunning blonde porn actress friends in the pics...
Lol
Thanks, but out of interest, what is to stop him/her from retaliating by reporting us? We have only just started so don't have any verifications yet (although we have met some couples who can vouch for us). And who investigates the report? "
Goes to admin, what they do I don't know, but usually if it's a tit for tat report they'd clock that. You're clearly not fakes, get yourself to a club in the area and you'll be veri'd in no time |
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Well, I'm pleased to say that one of the couples we were chatting with on Saturday were kind enough to give us a verification.
We now have a green flag and a green tick - yay
I think in future, making sure the flag and tick are present should avoid a lot of hassle and wasted time and effort. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Time wasters get a real kick from antagonising people...sitting back and watching their reaction.
(Bloody obvious you're now saying to yourself)
But it doesn't seem to be ... 'Bloody obvious' is writing a shouty/angry profile.
There's plenty of them..they usually start 'Don't contact me unless..' And then hurtle into a long list of conditions.
Apart from the negative first impressions created, this is an absolute gift to the very people you don't want to attract.
I don't think these kind of profiles are a shortcut to sifting out unwanted replies .. I really do think they have an opposite effect.
I know someone's going to have a pop at me for this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the best way to deal with most of the fakes is for the site to make " site verification " compulsive , but I think the owners of this site have realised that they can make money by letting the fakes pay for gold and silver membership so they don't want to get rid of them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Time wasters get a real kick from antagonising people...sitting back and watching their reaction.
(Bloody obvious you're now saying to yourself)
But it doesn't seem to be ... 'Bloody obvious' is writing a shouty/angry profile.
There's plenty of them..they usually start 'Don't contact me unless..' And then hurtle into a long list of conditions.
Apart from the negative first impressions created, this is an absolute gift to the very people you don't want to attract.
I don't think these kind of profiles are a shortcut to sifting out unwanted replies .. I really do think they have an opposite effect.
I know someone's going to have a pop at me for this."
I agree with you. |
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"Its easy
If a hot girl you've messaged replies straight away, she is a man
So true. I could tell a few stories on this. Lol"
I think most guys who've been on the site a while could tell a few stories about fakes |
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"the best way to deal with most of the fakes is for the site to make " site verification " compulsive , but I think the owners of this site have realised that they can make money by letting the fakes pay for gold and silver membership so they don't want to get rid of them "
If by "site verification" you been photo verification, the sensible approach would be to avoid contacting those without it, and filtering those out.
An intelligent use of the site tools is what's needed rather than constructing some whacky conspiracy theory.
Besides, some fakes don't actually buy silver or gold membership.
Go figure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's infuriating that this seems to happen so much - and has a knock-on effect on the genuine people (especially single males). With ladies being bombarded with so many messages those of us who are relatively unknown, who try to tick all the _oxes, sending well thought out messages, with face photos and who take the trouble to write as decent a profile as possible still miss out the vast majority of the time. Once I meet someone we tend to get on well, so suggests it's being taken seriously in the first place is the biggest stumbling block - meaning the timewasters often get in the way of how things can be at their best. |
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"It's infuriating that this seems to happen so much - and has a knock-on effect on the genuine people (especially single males). With ladies being bombarded with so many messages those of us who are relatively unknown, who try to tick all the _oxes, sending well thought out messages, with face photos and who take the trouble to write as decent a profile as possible still miss out the vast majority of the time. Once I meet someone we tend to get on well, so suggests it's being taken seriously in the first place is the biggest stumbling block - meaning the timewasters often get in the way of how things can be at their best. "
You seem to have done reasonably well on this site so find it hard to understand why you think that the acts of random other men and the reaction of other random couples will have any bearing or impact on your success on the site.
If you continue to select couples carefully, read their profiles, and send carefully worded messages then they will read your profile and respond accordingly.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's infuriating that this seems to happen so much - and has a knock-on effect on the genuine people (especially single males). With ladies being bombarded with so many messages those of us who are relatively unknown, who try to tick all the _oxes, sending well thought out messages, with face photos and who take the trouble to write as decent a profile as possible still miss out the vast majority of the time. Once I meet someone we tend to get on well, so suggests it's being taken seriously in the first place is the biggest stumbling block - meaning the timewasters often get in the way of how things can be at their best.
You seem to have done reasonably well on this site so find it hard to understand why you think that the acts of random other men and the reaction of other random couples will have any bearing or impact on your success on the site.
If you continue to select couples carefully, read their profiles, and send carefully worded messages then they will read your profile and respond accordingly.
"
You'require totally right, i've been lucky to have met some lovely folks. I was attempting to generalise based on the forums as opposed to being specific about my own position, however it doesake you wonder when you get say one reply in 50 - 75 messages over a period of time as to whether the volume of messages ladies in particular get means your own gets lost without so much as a brief look. Wondering how many of those messages are from the fakes. As so many have said it's playing a patient and genuine long game, plus having a large slice of luck that makes someone successful. |
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I beg to differ that just because someone is verified means they're all that.
It's a cliche. How's a newbie meant to get verified.
There are many others ways like cam, kik, whatsapp; the list is endless.
The most important is to be chilled and not desperate methinks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I beg to differ that just because someone is verified means they're all that.
It's a cliche. How's a newbie meant to get verified.
There are many others ways like cam, kik, whatsapp; the list is endless.
The most important is to be chilled and not desperate methinks."
So right! |
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"I beg to differ that just because someone is verified means they're all that.
It's a cliche. How's a newbie meant to get verified.
There are many others ways like cam, kik, whatsapp; the list is endless.
The most important is to be chilled and not desperate methinks."
Best way to get verified is by going to socials, clubs and parties .. there is no pressure and you get the opportunity to meet like minded people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sometimes it can be evident in pictures, by doing a left or right click and searching google for the images... it shouldn't really come to this as Fab can filter internet images but this has happened on a few occasions with profiles that have used internet images to promote themselves... I have come across 2 or 3 profiles in the last few months that have done this.
Didn't really know what to think... but there are a heap of time-wasters and disingenuous profiles on this site its astonishing how some of them get on here and re-offend...
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Unfortunately, due to the large amount of fakes on here, it's becoming harder for new member to be takes seriously, some even feeling like they have to take everything and anything they get just to get their first verification.
My first arranged meet was with a woman who had a verification. She said to text her in the evening after she put her daughter to bed and she's would be all mine. Messages her at the agreed time and 4 hours later after calling and messaging like 20 times, still heard nothing back. Would you say she's a fake? |
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"Unfortunately, due to the large amount of fakes on here, it's becoming harder for new member to be takes seriously, some even feeling like they have to take everything and anything they get just to get their first verification.
My first arranged meet was with a woman who had a verification. She said to text her in the evening after she put her daughter to bed and she's would be all mine. Messages her at the agreed time and 4 hours later after calling and messaging like 20 times, still heard nothing back. Would you say she's a fake?"
Did you ever hear back from her? |
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I've had zero problems with timewasters since I decided to go with some fairly strict criteria (limiting choices, but worth it), though they're mostly specific to me being a TV.
So these days I usually decide against them if:
-If their profile says 'looking for: women' with no mention of TV/CDs (red flag on them being ashamed of their interest, which is a last minute cold feet risk).
-Likewise for people with no public pictures
-Must have meet verifications, (veris from other Tgirls is a big plus for me - 'first timers' are high risk for bailing out last minute as said, though not everyone verifies)
-If it's obvious they haven't read a word of my profile (I know it's long, but if you're serious about taking hours out of your day to meet someone, you'll take a minute to find out if you're a match)
-If they've been here less than a month or two, they're also a fair risk of being unsure and deleting their account soon after.
And yeah, gut feeling. If they can string a sentence together and don't seem desperate to cum that minute, those are good signs too
I feel bad for being so picky when I'm sure there's some people who are lovely in person I end up ignoring, but it's changed my experience here from stressful to only a pleasure, as it should be As said, zero timewasters since, just a bunch of hassle-free meets that were an absolute pleasure!
As for guys though, I understand your frustration, when you can't afford to be as picky. I've messaged a few women I thought i'd match well with before, after reading their profile fully and messaging with a politely worded message with maybe a bit of humour here and there, just to have it deleted without a word back. The basic rules apply though - verifications and public images, people who've been here at least a couple of months - should out the majority of timewasters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's easy you organise a meet and they don't even let you know they are not going to honour it and in some cases they carry on doing it to others despite being reported |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel like I come across as a bit... snooty in that message, entirely not my intention (as said, I feel bad for being so picky when I'm sure there's some lovely people behind some bad profiles!)"
You don't sound snooty at all. Seems like well thought out reasons to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately, due to the large amount of fakes on here, it's becoming harder for new member to be takes seriously, some even feeling like they have to take everything and anything they get just to get their first verification.
My first arranged meet was with a woman who had a verification. She said to text her in the evening after she put her daughter to bed and she's would be all mine. Messages her at the agreed time and 4 hours later after calling and messaging like 20 times, still heard nothing back. Would you say she's a fake?"
You rang/messaged her 20 times and are wondering why she didn't respond??! Maybe her daughter was ill. Maybe something cropped up or maybe she thought you were a wack job for pestering her. I'd be thinking the latter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately, due to the large amount of fakes on here, it's becoming harder for new member to be takes seriously, some even feeling like they have to take everything and anything they get just to get their first verification.
My first arranged meet was with a woman who had a verification. She said to text her in the evening after she put her daughter to bed and she's would be all mine. Messages her at the agreed time and 4 hours later after calling and messaging like 20 times, still heard nothing back. Would you say she's a fake?
You rang/messaged her 20 times and are wondering why she didn't respond??! Maybe her daughter was ill. Maybe something cropped up or maybe she thought you were a wack job for pestering her. I'd be thinking the latter."
Or maybe she could have had the decency to call or text and let him know the meet was cancelled. |
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"Unfortunately, due to the large amount of fakes on here, it's becoming harder for new member to be takes seriously, some even feeling like they have to take everything and anything they get just to get their first verification.
My first arranged meet was with a woman who had a verification. She said to text her in the evening after she put her daughter to bed and she's would be all mine. Messages her at the agreed time and 4 hours later after calling and messaging like 20 times, still heard nothing back. Would you say she's a fake?
You rang/messaged her 20 times and are wondering why she didn't respond??! Maybe her daughter was ill. Maybe something cropped up or maybe she thought you were a wack job for pestering her. I'd be thinking the latter.
Or maybe she could have had the decency to call or text and let him know the meet was cancelled. "
Whilst calling and texting 20 times was excessive she should have had the decency to notify him other wise takes a matter of moments to send a text |
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"Fairy new to all this although I did have a brief spell on her before and met a few singles ... This time I'm shocked at just how many fakes and time wasters are on here ... Twice this week I've turned up to no shows ... What are the best steps to take to avoid this ? Thanks in advance"
Speak to them on the phone
Have a face to face web cam conversation
Check there verifications are meet in person verifications not just webcam ones
See how long they have had an account, females and couples generally get verified quite quickly, if they been on 6+ months with no verification i personally would question how genuine they are
Get your name down to attend organised socials, goto clubs
Don't ever rely on this site to meet people, this site is merely a contact tool, not a "get a shag" site
Have fun |
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"Time wasters get a real kick from antagonising people...sitting back and watching their reaction.
(Bloody obvious you're now saying to yourself)
But it doesn't seem to be ... 'Bloody obvious' is writing a shouty/angry profile.
There's plenty of them..they usually start 'Don't contact me unless..' And then hurtle into a long list of conditions.
Apart from the negative first impressions created, this is an absolute gift to the very people you don't want to attract.
I don't think these kind of profiles are a shortcut to sifting out unwanted replies .. I really do think they have an opposite effect.
I know someone's going to have a pop at me for this."
I disagree, since listing types im not interested in my mailbox has reduced massively to pretty much only the ones that do match what I'm looking fir.
Profiles like this are just another form of filtering, if you don't like demanding profiles you can pass them by, but a profile owner can do as they please with their profile, i wont change mine as generally it works for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well i got chatting to a 'couple' The 'wife' kept saying she wont talk untill she has cock pics,because a lot of timewasters turn up are not as big as her husband, who likes to film her bareback! but they wont go on skype. turned out it was only the bloke who was chatting.There were no photos of them both together and no nude photos, in the private pics they had one photo and it was the bloke by himself. yet they kept asking me for dick pics. I told them, (or rather 'him') women dont normally act like that |
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