FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > why is so hard for single blokes
why is so hard for single blokes
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"We do, but play together at clubs " Little bit more information about yourself on profile. You won't get many messages wuthout a profike picture or any public pics. When messaging try to stand out as females get a lot more imbound action so they need to pay attention to your message. | |||
"Hi all I am on here as a couple and both me and my wife have single profiles, we like to play separately but my wife will only do it if I have a meet, but it so hard for me to get a meet. So I feel like I am letting her down, can anyone suggest anything. I am clean, respectful and not pushy. Helllllppppp lol x " Do you think you have sold yourself well in your profile... How do you stand out from the 1000's of other guys. If a woman opens a profile, she can have only 'X' on it and she will get messages welcoming her to the site, they are in her area, offers to show her the ropes..... a guy, well that's different...... HE has to make the effort. good luck | |||
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"Hi all I am on here as a couple and both me and my wife have single profiles, we like to play separately but my wife will only do it if I have a meet, but it so hard for me to get a meet. So I feel like I am letting her down, can anyone suggest anything. I am clean, respectful and not pushy. Helllllppppp lol x " I don't why you would be letting her down. Your post says more about you than your profile , you don't include your married status or any pictures. Married men with permission to play alone often say so on their profile and give their couples profile name as a gesture of good faith. You say you only play together at clubs why is that? Maybe tweak your profile a bit as above. | |||
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"Hi all I am on here as a couple and both me and my wife have single profiles, we like to play separately but my wife will only do it if I have a meet, but it so hard for me to get a meet. So I feel like I am letting her down, can anyone suggest anything. I am clean, respectful and not pushy. Helllllppppp lol x I don't why you would be letting her down. Your post says more about you than your profile , you don't include your married status or any pictures. Married men with permission to play alone often say so on their profile and give their couples profile name as a gesture of good faith. You say you only play together at clubs why is that? Maybe tweak your profile a bit as above. " Pretty much this!! 
Plus I'd just let her go out and meet regardless of whether you can find one.
The odds of both getting solo meets at the same time, or even at the same volume is - let's be honest - pretty much zilch!!!
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"Its harder for married females and married men , as they have to sneek out to meets . "Ah but he has permission. | |||
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"I am always telling her to go out but she won't until I have meets, we enjoy playing together at clubs with others. I will pop on my profile I am married etc thanks for the tip x " It's well worth posting the name of your couples profile there too - else folk will be cynical and that way they can check it exists. I'd also work on your status updates. You currently sound like a soup kitchen! 
Good luck.
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"From what my wife says, she doesn't even have to have anything in her profile lol x " Yes but she must know what appeals to her. | |||
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"I am always telling her to go out but she won't until I have meets, we enjoy playing together at clubs with others. I will pop on my profile I am married etc thanks for the tip x " You can say whatever you like on your profile but unless you offer that one can speak with your wife on the phone to verify, many will think you are lying | |||
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"People will talk about your profile and your pics and all sorts of things which might all help to lowering degrees. However my wife has a single account very restrictive filters (no unverified, no over 35, everything but single guys blocked). Despite this she has over 1000 unread messages and yes she does open and read and respond to plenty. Frankly there are several hundred women to every guy on here and unless you can reaally stand out you will just be white noise in the crowd." If only those ratios were true - there's be no unhappy single guys! 
A | |||
" If only those ratios were true - there's be no unhappy single guys!
A"I was being conservative, it feels more like 500-700 men to every woman that meets but my brain cant really proccess that disparity. | |||
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"i dunno really for some reason single men seem to have been labeled as the worst thing in the world on this website .... not entirely sure why lol i mean its only guys looking for a shag :D and granted some can be a bit forceful or rude but there hardly raping and pillaging the peasant masses or waging bloody war on all the peace loving peoples of the earth !!!! lol i think people need to just chil out and realize its a shag site :D and its harmless :D " Pretty sure its not a shag site | |||
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" If only those ratios were true - there's be no unhappy single guys!
A
I was being conservative, it feels more like 500-700 men to every woman that meets but my brain cant really proccess that disparity."I was kidding. "Frankly there are several hundred women to every guy on here and unless you can reaally stand out you will just be white noise in the crowd." I'm guessing you just got the genders the wrong way round. I'm blaming the clocks changing for all my fuck ups today!
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"People will talk about your profile and your pics and all sorts of things which might all help to lowering degrees. However my wife has a single account very restrictive filters (no unverified, no over 35, everything but single guys blocked). Despite this she has over 1000 unread messages and yes she does open and read and respond to plenty. Frankly there are several hundred women to every guy on here and unless you can reaally stand out you will just be white noise in the crowd. If only those ratios were true - there's be no unhappy single guys!
A"The fact is that nobody really knows what the ratio really is | |||
"I've never had any problems. Maybe it's because my expectations of the site have always been realistic and I've gotten myself along to socials to show my face and make friends. With sites like these it's all about making effort and getting yourself out there. Once people realise you're genuine things will always improve. Until then you're just one one any number of single blokes trying to get attention. Also, you're Coalville, it's highly likely people think you have 6 toes and a jacket with a wolf on it!! "Just the one wolf? 
A | |||
" "Frankly there are several hundred women to every guy on here and unless you can reaally stand out you will just be white noise in the crowd." I'm guessing you just got the genders the wrong way round. I'm blaming the clocks changing for all my fuck ups today!
A"It would be like magaluf here with those ratios! I blame the Clocks and my mobile :/ | |||
" The fact is that nobody really knows what the ratio really is" no one knows exactly but we do know this very many men not so many women. | |||
"I've never had any problems. Maybe it's because my expectations of the site have always been realistic and I've gotten myself along to socials to show my face and make friends. With sites like these it's all about making effort and getting yourself out there. Once people realise you're genuine things will always improve. Until then you're just one one any number of single blokes trying to get attention. Also, you're Coalville, it's highly likely people think you have 6 toes and a jacket with a wolf on it!!
Just the one wolf?
A"Google 'Coalville coats'. It's also worth having a look what the Urban Dictionary says about the town... | |||
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"what else is it ? i mean there is a forum, but essentially this site is a place were men and women come to find sex !! sounds like like the criteria of a shag site to me :D  "It's a swinging site. There's a huge social side to swinging that doesn't necessarily involve sex. Not understanding that is why so many single men get frustrated. | |||
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"that's true enough :D the social aspect is a happy side effect of the scene :D and i'm glad its there :D but i think the main draw to sites like this and the swinging scene is the sex :D " I disagree. I believe that the sex is the happy side effect of a group of like minded adults socialising. | |||
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"that's true enough :D the social aspect is a happy side effect of the scene :D and i'm glad its there :D but i think the main draw to sites like this and the swinging scene is the sex :D " That's what you think, but its not why everyone is here, I'm here for the social side only, nothing else | |||
"either way i think we should just be glad both aspects are there :D i don't think one would be quite right with out the other :D " So you can only socialise of there's sex involved? I socialise with plenty of people, doesn't mean I'm gonna shag them | |||
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"We do, but play together at clubs Little bit more information about yourself on profile. You won't get many messages wuthout a profike picture or any public pics. When messaging try to stand out as females get a lot more imbound action so they need to pay attention to your message." "Inbound action" "stand out" "pay attention" If the op listens to this then his "chances" shall "improve"  | |||
You may not like the look of them, you may not like what they type, in that case, ignore them or at least send them a polite message to decline but don't treat them all like the rude, vile, brash brigade that you're used to. You're gonna drive them off the site altogether, so think about what you put in your reply.
I also can't help but feel that for certain females on Fab, the prose on their profiles that requires you to jump through certain hoops before you dare to write to them is merely a convient cover story to hide the fact that they're completely up their own arses, that's fine, but just be honest about it so you can find a man who is similarly arrogant.
There is massive room for improvement from men on here but we shouldn't forget that there is a proportion of women that are spoiling things tor genuine people/swingers too. | |||
"As the number of single guys outweighs the number of single women on Fab, I really do sympathise that they must be getting bombarded, often from men who haven't read their profiles and therefore these messages are completely unwanted and just a nuisance. I sympathise even more with women on Fab that have to endure abuse and personal insults when they don't reply or don't tell men what they what to hear. That just isn't right and I've heard many vile examples which have made me sad to be the same sex as some the pigs on here to be honest. There's no escaping that the actions of men, predominantly single men, has shaped the way that women have to conduct themselves on Fab and the content they include/don't include on their profiles. On the flip side to all this though, I would argue that there are increasing numbers of women on the site that have lost all touch with reality and have either elevated themselves to Ivory pedestals or have been elevated by how they are perceived on Fab. Some women on here need to remember that there are still good, genuine, honest and polite men out there and that these men often invest time in reading profiles, writing relevant and considered messages to them, in proper English. They might be in the minority but they are on here and they are human with feelings, yes men have feelings too
You may not like the look of them, you may not like what they type, in that case, ignore them or at least send them a polite message to decline but don't treat them all like the rude, vile, brash brigade that you're used to. You're gonna drive them off the site altogether, so think about what you put in your reply.
I also can't help but feel that for certain females on Fab, the prose on their profiles that requires you to jump through certain hoops before you dare to write to them is merely a convient cover story to hide the fact that they're completely up their own arses, that's fine, but just be honest about it so you can find a man who is similarly arrogant.
There is massive room for improvement from men on here but we shouldn't forget that there is a proportion of women that are spoiling things tor genuine people/swingers too. "Nobody spoils anything for anyone but themselves. A | |||
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"As the number of single guys outweighs the number of single women on Fab, I really do sympathise that they must be getting bombarded, often from men who haven't read their profiles and therefore these messages are completely unwanted and just a nuisance. I sympathise even more with women on Fab that have to endure abuse and personal insults when they don't reply or don't tell men what they what to hear. That just isn't right and I've heard many vile examples which have made me sad to be the same sex as some the pigs on here to be honest. There's no escaping that the actions of men, predominantly single men, has shaped the way that women have to conduct themselves on Fab and the content they include/don't include on their profiles. On the flip side to all this though, I would argue that there are increasing numbers of women on the site that have lost all touch with reality and have either elevated themselves to Ivory pedestals or have been elevated by how they are perceived on Fab. Some women on here need to remember that there are still good, genuine, honest and polite men out there and that these men often invest time in reading profiles, writing relevant and considered messages to them, in proper English. They might be in the minority but they are on here and they are human with feelings, yes men have feelings too
You may not like the look of them, you may not like what they type, in that case, ignore them or at least send them a polite message to decline but don't treat them all like the rude, vile, brash brigade that you're used to. You're gonna drive them off the site altogether, so think about what you put in your reply.
I also can't help but feel that for certain females on Fab, the prose on their profiles that requires you to jump through certain hoops before you dare to write to them is merely a convient cover story to hide the fact that they're completely up their own arses, that's fine, but just be honest about it so you can find a man who is similarly arrogant.
There is massive room for improvement from men on here but we shouldn't forget that there is a proportion of women that are spoiling things tor genuine people/swingers too. "Can you explain how people spoil it for others on here? | |||
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"Of course. Ok, let's take a single guy on Fab. Photo verified and positively verified by let's say, two women. He has a profile picture, a few tasteful public pics without his face in but states on his profile he will share face pics privately. He's takes then time to write a profile that reflects what he's looking for and says a bit about himself. Said guy comes across a profile for a single female that he likes the look of. Hes within the age range that she's stated, fits her ethnicity preferences and he's not too far away, good start. He reads her profile, nice over_iew of what she expects, profile pic, face pics privately and a nice message (ideally one that stands out) written in proper English, again, he's still good to go. The profile reads on, let's say she's stated that guys must be over 6 foot, good personal hygiene, non smokers and non drug users. She also asks that they must be capable of holding a conversation. So, this guy has provisionally hit all of her criteria, she hasn't seen his pics and whether he can hold a conversation is still to come buy why shouldn't he send her a message. He takes on board everything that he's read and writes her a message, in proper English, highlighting how he meets the things she set out in her profile, how he's not too far away etc and makes ref to the fact that he's attached pics for her to look at. Now, this is where I think some women are spoiling it. Having gone through that process, some women choose to reply with either one sentence or in some cases, one word. What has that guy done to warrant that? If you don't like the look of him, don't reply. If his message bored you or ding stir you, don't reply. If he's close but not quite close enough, don't reply. For me, a reply like that is worse than ignoring someone, particularly when you've asked a man to make an effort and seemingly he is! Let's say said guy keeps getting lacklustre replies despite putting the effort in to write considered relevant messages, could anyone blame him for losing the drive to bother to make that effort and resort to sending one sentence messages instead? Furthermore, if it continues maybe he'll start looking at himself and thinking perhaps I'm just not that attractive, etc. I think the point I'm trying to drive home is if you ask for a man (that meets your provisional requirements) to make the effort and you choose to reply because you're interested, make the effort back. Otherwise, in my opinion you're spoiling it for genuine people. Your actions are leaving them disillusioned and eventually they'll quit the site leaving you with the idiots. You have three options when you get a message, ignore and delete, reply and decline or reply to suggest interest and progress things. Be fair to people, if you haven't got the time to reply properly, do it at another time. If you can only muster one word, then don't bother at all, you clearly aren't interested really. " It's not rocket science. If they don't respond they're not interested. If they respond with something you feel is inadequate then it's entirely your choice as to whether to continue pursuing said person - or just move on. None of which makes life on site any harder for anyone else - which is the point people are trying to get across. It affects nobody but you. A | |||
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"i dunno really for some reason single men seem to have been labeled as the worst thing in the world on this website .... not entirely sure why lol i mean its only guys looking for a shag :D and granted some can be a bit forceful or rude but there hardly raping and pillaging the peasant masses or waging bloody war on all the peace loving peoples of the earth !!!! lol i think people need to just chil out and realize its a shag site :D and its harmless :D " and this explains beautifully why some men will never be successful on here. It's a swingers site, not a sex site or as you beautifully put it a shag site. Successful men get that. The rest wank and whinge. | |||
"Of course. Ok, let's take a single guy on Fab. Photo verified and positively verified by let's say, two women. He has a profile picture, a few tasteful public pics without his face in but states on his profile he will share face pics privately. He's takes then time to write a profile that reflects what he's looking for and says a bit about himself. Said guy comes across a profile for a single female that he likes the look of. Hes within the age range that she's stated, fits her ethnicity preferences and he's not too far away, good start. He reads her profile, nice over_iew of what she expects, profile pic, face pics privately and a nice message (ideally one that stands out) written in proper English, again, he's still good to go. The profile reads on, let's say she's stated that guys must be over 6 foot, good personal hygiene, non smokers and non drug users. She also asks that they must be capable of holding a conversation. So, this guy has provisionally hit all of her criteria, she hasn't seen his pics and whether he can hold a conversation is still to come buy why shouldn't he send her a message. He takes on board everything that he's read and writes her a message, in proper English, highlighting how he meets the things she set out in her profile, how he's not too far away etc and makes ref to the fact that he's attached pics for her to look at. Now, this is where I think some women are spoiling it. Having gone through that process, some women choose to reply with either one sentence or in some cases, one word. What has that guy done to warrant that? If you don't like the look of him, don't reply. If his message bored you or ding stir you, don't reply. If he's close but not quite close enough, don't reply. For me, a reply like that is worse than ignoring someone, particularly when you've asked a man to make an effort and seemingly he is! Let's say said guy keeps getting lacklustre replies despite putting the effort in to write considered relevant messages, could anyone blame him for losing the drive to bother to make that effort and resort to sending one sentence messages instead? Furthermore, if it continues maybe he'll start looking at himself and thinking perhaps I'm just not that attractive, etc. I think the point I'm trying to drive home is if you ask for a man (that meets your provisional requirements) to make the effort and you choose to reply because you're interested, make the effort back. Otherwise, in my opinion you're spoiling it for genuine people. Your actions are leaving them disillusioned and eventually they'll quit the site leaving you with the idiots. You have three options when you get a message, ignore and delete, reply and decline or reply to suggest interest and progress things. Be fair to people, if you haven't got the time to reply properly, do it at another time. If you can only muster one word, then don't bother at all, you clearly aren't interested really. It's not rocket science. If they don't respond they're not interested. If they respond with something you feel is inadequate then it's entirely your choice as to whether to continue pursuing said person - or just move on. None of which makes life on site any harder for anyone else - which is the point people are trying to get across. It affects nobody but you. A" How many times are you expected to 'just move on' Obi? | |||
"what else is it ? i mean there is a forum, but essentially this site is a place were men and women come to find sex !! sounds like like the criteria of a shag site to me :D
It's a swinging site.
There's a huge social side to swinging that doesn't necessarily involve sex.
Not understanding that is why so many single men get frustrated." | |||
"Of course. Ok, let's take a single guy on Fab. Photo verified and positively verified by let's say, two women. He has a profile picture, a few tasteful public pics without his face in but states on his profile he will share face pics privately. He's takes then time to write a profile that reflects what he's looking for and says a bit about himself. Said guy comes across a profile for a single female that he likes the look of. Hes within the age range that she's stated, fits her ethnicity preferences and he's not too far away, good start. He reads her profile, nice over_iew of what she expects, profile pic, face pics privately and a nice message (ideally one that stands out) written in proper English, again, he's still good to go. The profile reads on, let's say she's stated that guys must be over 6 foot, good personal hygiene, non smokers and non drug users. She also asks that they must be capable of holding a conversation. So, this guy has provisionally hit all of her criteria, she hasn't seen his pics and whether he can hold a conversation is still to come buy why shouldn't he send her a message. He takes on board everything that he's read and writes her a message, in proper English, highlighting how he meets the things she set out in her profile, how he's not too far away etc and makes ref to the fact that he's attached pics for her to look at. Now, this is where I think some women are spoiling it. Having gone through that process, some women choose to reply with either one sentence or in some cases, one word. What has that guy done to warrant that? If you don't like the look of him, don't reply. If his message bored you or ding stir you, don't reply. If he's close but not quite close enough, don't reply. For me, a reply like that is worse than ignoring someone, particularly when you've asked a man to make an effort and seemingly he is! Let's say said guy keeps getting lacklustre replies despite putting the effort in to write considered relevant messages, could anyone blame him for losing the drive to bother to make that effort and resort to sending one sentence messages instead? Furthermore, if it continues maybe he'll start looking at himself and thinking perhaps I'm just not that attractive, etc. I think the point I'm trying to drive home is if you ask for a man (that meets your provisional requirements) to make the effort and you choose to reply because you're interested, make the effort back. Otherwise, in my opinion you're spoiling it for genuine people. Your actions are leaving them disillusioned and eventually they'll quit the site leaving you with the idiots. You have three options when you get a message, ignore and delete, reply and decline or reply to suggest interest and progress things. Be fair to people, if you haven't got the time to reply properly, do it at another time. If you can only muster one word, then don't bother at all, you clearly aren't interested really. It's not rocket science. If they don't respond they're not interested. If they respond with something you feel is inadequate then it's entirely your choice as to whether to continue pursuing said person - or just move on. None of which makes life on site any harder for anyone else - which is the point people are trying to get across. It affects nobody but you. A How many times are you expected to 'just move on' Obi? " Every time you get ignored, declined or if you feel you're putting in all the effort. Engaging in conversation on here isn't compulsory nor should it be hard work. Why put yourself through the stress when you can easily avoid it? A | |||
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"Of course. Ok, let's take a single guy on Fab. Photo verified and positively verified by let's say, two women. He has a profile picture, a few tasteful public pics without his face in but states on his profile he will share face pics privately. He's takes then time to write a profile that reflects what he's looking for and says a bit about himself. Said guy comes across a profile for a single female that he likes the look of. Hes within the age range that she's stated, fits her ethnicity preferences and he's not too far away, good start. He reads her profile, nice over_iew of what she expects, profile pic, face pics privately and a nice message (ideally one that stands out) written in proper English, again, he's still good to go. The profile reads on, let's say she's stated that guys must be over 6 foot, good personal hygiene, non smokers and non drug users. She also asks that they must be capable of holding a conversation. So, this guy has provisionally hit all of her criteria, she hasn't seen his pics and whether he can hold a conversation is still to come buy why shouldn't he send her a message. He takes on board everything that he's read and writes her a message, in proper English, highlighting how he meets the things she set out in her profile, how he's not too far away etc and makes ref to the fact that he's attached pics for her to look at. Now, this is where I think some women are spoiling it. Having gone through that process, some women choose to reply with either one sentence or in some cases, one word. What has that guy done to warrant that? If you don't like the look of him, don't reply. If his message bored you or ding stir you, don't reply. If he's close but not quite close enough, don't reply. For me, a reply like that is worse than ignoring someone, particularly when you've asked a man to make an effort and seemingly he is! Let's say said guy keeps getting lacklustre replies despite putting the effort in to write considered relevant messages, could anyone blame him for losing the drive to bother to make that effort and resort to sending one sentence messages instead? Furthermore, if it continues maybe he'll start looking at himself and thinking perhaps I'm just not that attractive, etc. I think the point I'm trying to drive home is if you ask for a man (that meets your provisional requirements) to make the effort and you choose to reply because you're interested, make the effort back. Otherwise, in my opinion you're spoiling it for genuine people. Your actions are leaving them disillusioned and eventually they'll quit the site leaving you with the idiots. You have three options when you get a message, ignore and delete, reply and decline or reply to suggest interest and progress things. Be fair to people, if you haven't got the time to reply properly, do it at another time. If you can only muster one word, then don't bother at all, you clearly aren't interested really. It's not rocket science. If they don't respond they're not interested. If they respond with something you feel is inadequate then it's entirely your choice as to whether to continue pursuing said person - or just move on. None of which makes life on site any harder for anyone else - which is the point people are trying to get across. It affects nobody but you. A How many times are you expected to 'just move on' Obi? Every time you get ignored, declined or if you feel you're putting in all the effort. Engaging in conversation on here isn't compulsory nor should it be hard work. Why put yourself through the stress when you can easily avoid it? A" I think you're missing the point A. I never said engaging in conversation was compulsory, I said if you don't want to speak, don't reply. Being ignored or declined can be hard to take but sending somone a 'decent' message and getting one word in return is worse in a lot of ways! Would you blame a man who stops making the effort if he's constantly up against that? What if you're consistently getting those kind of replies, should you just give up on Fab? With all due respect A, can you truly relate to the experiences of a single guy on here as you're part of couple? | |||
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"Of course. Ok, let's take a single guy on Fab. Photo verified and positively verified by let's say, two women. He has a profile picture, a few tasteful public pics without his face in but states on his profile he will share face pics privately. He's takes then time to write a profile that reflects what he's looking for and says a bit about himself. Said guy comes across a profile for a single female that he likes the look of. Hes within the age range that she's stated, fits her ethnicity preferences and he's not too far away, good start. He reads her profile, nice over_iew of what she expects, profile pic, face pics privately and a nice message (ideally one that stands out) written in proper English, again, he's still good to go. The profile reads on, let's say she's stated that guys must be over 6 foot, good personal hygiene, non smokers and non drug users. She also asks that they must be capable of holding a conversation. So, this guy has provisionally hit all of her criteria, she hasn't seen his pics and whether he can hold a conversation is still to come buy why shouldn't he send her a message. He takes on board everything that he's read and writes her a message, in proper English, highlighting how he meets the things she set out in her profile, how he's not too far away etc and makes ref to the fact that he's attached pics for her to look at. Now, this is where I think some women are spoiling it. Having gone through that process, some women choose to reply with either one sentence or in some cases, one word. What has that guy done to warrant that? If you don't like the look of him, don't reply. If his message bored you or ding stir you, don't reply. If he's close but not quite close enough, don't reply. For me, a reply like that is worse than ignoring someone, particularly when you've asked a man to make an effort and seemingly he is! Let's say said guy keeps getting lacklustre replies despite putting the effort in to write considered relevant messages, could anyone blame him for losing the drive to bother to make that effort and resort to sending one sentence messages instead? Furthermore, if it continues maybe he'll start looking at himself and thinking perhaps I'm just not that attractive, etc. I think the point I'm trying to drive home is if you ask for a man (that meets your provisional requirements) to make the effort and you choose to reply because you're interested, make the effort back. Otherwise, in my opinion you're spoiling it for genuine people. Your actions are leaving them disillusioned and eventually they'll quit the site leaving you with the idiots. You have three options when you get a message, ignore and delete, reply and decline or reply to suggest interest and progress things. Be fair to people, if you haven't got the time to reply properly, do it at another time. If you can only muster one word, then don't bother at all, you clearly aren't interested really. It's not rocket science. If they don't respond they're not interested. If they respond with something you feel is inadequate then it's entirely your choice as to whether to continue pursuing said person - or just move on. None of which makes life on site any harder for anyone else - which is the point people are trying to get across. It affects nobody but you. A How many times are you expected to 'just move on' Obi? Every time you get ignored, declined or if you feel you're putting in all the effort. Engaging in conversation on here isn't compulsory nor should it be hard work. Why put yourself through the stress when you can easily avoid it? A I think you're missing the point A. I never said engaging in conversation was compulsory, I said if you don't want to speak, don't reply. Being ignored or declined can be hard to take but sending somone a 'decent' message and getting one word in return is worse in a lot of ways! Would you blame a man who stops making the effort if he's constantly up against that? What if you're consistently getting those kind of replies, should you just give up on Fab? With all due respect A, can you truly relate to the experiences of a single guy on here as you're part of couple? " Why not stick to the real world then if you are getting better responses there? [I am confused] | |||
"Of course. Ok, let's take a single guy on Fab. Photo verified and positively verified by let's say, two women. He has a profile picture, a few tasteful public pics without his face in but states on his profile he will share face pics privately. He's takes then time to write a profile that reflects what he's looking for and says a bit about himself. Said guy comes across a profile for a single female that he likes the look of. Hes within the age range that she's stated, fits her ethnicity preferences and he's not too far away, good start. He reads her profile, nice over_iew of what she expects, profile pic, face pics privately and a nice message (ideally one that stands out) written in proper English, again, he's still good to go. The profile reads on, let's say she's stated that guys must be over 6 foot, good personal hygiene, non smokers and non drug users. She also asks that they must be capable of holding a conversation. So, this guy has provisionally hit all of her criteria, she hasn't seen his pics and whether he can hold a conversation is still to come buy why shouldn't he send her a message. He takes on board everything that he's read and writes her a message, in proper English, highlighting how he meets the things she set out in her profile, how he's not too far away etc and makes ref to the fact that he's attached pics for her to look at. Now, this is where I think some women are spoiling it. Having gone through that process, some women choose to reply with either one sentence or in some cases, one word. What has that guy done to warrant that? If you don't like the look of him, don't reply. If his message bored you or ding stir you, don't reply. If he's close but not quite close enough, don't reply. For me, a reply like that is worse than ignoring someone, particularly when you've asked a man to make an effort and seemingly he is! Let's say said guy keeps getting lacklustre replies despite putting the effort in to write considered relevant messages, could anyone blame him for losing the drive to bother to make that effort and resort to sending one sentence messages instead? Furthermore, if it continues maybe he'll start looking at himself and thinking perhaps I'm just not that attractive, etc. I think the point I'm trying to drive home is if you ask for a man (that meets your provisional requirements) to make the effort and you choose to reply because you're interested, make the effort back. Otherwise, in my opinion you're spoiling it for genuine people. Your actions are leaving them disillusioned and eventually they'll quit the site leaving you with the idiots. You have three options when you get a message, ignore and delete, reply and decline or reply to suggest interest and progress things. Be fair to people, if you haven't got the time to reply properly, do it at another time. If you can only muster one word, then don't bother at all, you clearly aren't interested really. " Good point. But the problem is women don't need to try on Feb | |||
"Hi all I am on here as a couple and both me and my wife have single profiles, we like to play separately but my wife will only do it if I have a meet, but it so hard for me to get a meet. So I feel like I am letting her down, can anyone suggest anything. I am clean, respectful and not pushy. Helllllppppp lol x " Ok top of my head That user name cringe city dude ditch it. That post you just wrote is actually longer and better spell checked than your profile. Why are you on here for friendship when you got a wife would be one question. Are you genuinely after friendship or do you think saying that will get you a Shag? Be honest expand your profile to be about what you want and what you like. And do it honestly don't sit and write cringe worthy stuff about how you love to give oral for hours etc thinking it will get you a meet. First step click on _iew your profile and read it. Read it from the _iew point of a perspective meet and ask yourself would you meet you? | |||
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"Of course. Ok, let's take a single guy on Fab. Photo verified and positively verified by let's say, two women. He has a profile picture, a few tasteful public pics without his face in but states on his profile he will share face pics privately. He's takes then time to write a profile that reflects what he's looking for and says a bit about himself. Said guy comes across a profile for a single female that he likes the look of. Hes within the age range that she's stated, fits her ethnicity preferences and he's not too far away, good start. He reads her profile, nice over_iew of what she expects, profile pic, face pics privately and a nice message (ideally one that stands out) written in proper English, again, he's still good to go. The profile reads on, let's say she's stated that guys must be over 6 foot, good personal hygiene, non smokers and non drug users. She also asks that they must be capable of holding a conversation. So, this guy has provisionally hit all of her criteria, she hasn't seen his pics and whether he can hold a conversation is still to come buy why shouldn't he send her a message. He takes on board everything that he's read and writes her a message, in proper English, highlighting how he meets the things she set out in her profile, how he's not too far away etc and makes ref to the fact that he's attached pics for her to look at. Now, this is where I think some women are spoiling it. Having gone through that process, some women choose to reply with either one sentence or in some cases, one word. What has that guy done to warrant that? If you don't like the look of him, don't reply. If his message bored you or ding stir you, don't reply. If he's close but not quite close enough, don't reply. For me, a reply like that is worse than ignoring someone, particularly when you've asked a man to make an effort and seemingly he is! Let's say said guy keeps getting lacklustre replies despite putting the effort in to write considered relevant messages, could anyone blame him for losing the drive to bother to make that effort and resort to sending one sentence messages instead? Furthermore, if it continues maybe he'll start looking at himself and thinking perhaps I'm just not that attractive, etc. I think the point I'm trying to drive home is if you ask for a man (that meets your provisional requirements) to make the effort and you choose to reply because you're interested, make the effort back. Otherwise, in my opinion you're spoiling it for genuine people. Your actions are leaving them disillusioned and eventually they'll quit the site leaving you with the idiots. You have three options when you get a message, ignore and delete, reply and decline or reply to suggest interest and progress things. Be fair to people, if you haven't got the time to reply properly, do it at another time. If you can only muster one word, then don't bother at all, you clearly aren't interested really. It's not rocket science. If they don't respond they're not interested. If they respond with something you feel is inadequate then it's entirely your choice as to whether to continue pursuing said person - or just move on. None of which makes life on site any harder for anyone else - which is the point people are trying to get across. It affects nobody but you. A How many times are you expected to 'just move on' Obi? Every time you get ignored, declined or if you feel you're putting in all the effort. Engaging in conversation on here isn't compulsory nor should it be hard work. Why put yourself through the stress when you can easily avoid it? A I think you're missing the point A. I never said engaging in conversation was compulsory, I said if you don't want to speak, don't reply. Being ignored or declined can be hard to take but sending somone a 'decent' message and getting one word in return is worse in a lot of ways! Would you blame a man who stops making the effort if he's constantly up against that? What if you're consistently getting those kind of replies, should you just give up on Fab? With all due respect A, can you truly relate to the experiences of a single guy on here as you're part of couple? " We met here. My old solo profile had over 100 veris. So yes - I can relate. But it makes no difference whether you're male, female or a couple. Being on site should involve stress or be 'hard work'. If it does? Move on. A | |||
A | |||
"Of course. Ok, let's take a single guy on Fab. Photo verified and positively verified by let's say, two women. He has a profile picture, a few tasteful public pics without his face in but states on his profile he will share face pics privately. He's takes then time to write a profile that reflects what he's looking for and says a bit about himself. Said guy comes across a profile for a single female that he likes the look of. Hes within the age range that she's stated, fits her ethnicity preferences and he's not too far away, good start. He reads her profile, nice over_iew of what she expects, profile pic, face pics privately and a nice message (ideally one that stands out) written in proper English, again, he's still good to go. The profile reads on, let's say she's stated that guys must be over 6 foot, good personal hygiene, non smokers and non drug users. She also asks that they must be capable of holding a conversation. So, this guy has provisionally hit all of her criteria, she hasn't seen his pics and whether he can hold a conversation is still to come buy why shouldn't he send her a message. He takes on board everything that he's read and writes her a message, in proper English, highlighting how he meets the things she set out in her profile, how he's not too far away etc and makes ref to the fact that he's attached pics for her to look at. Now, this is where I think some women are spoiling it. Having gone through that process, some women choose to reply with either one sentence or in some cases, one word. What has that guy done to warrant that? If you don't like the look of him, don't reply. If his message bored you or ding stir you, don't reply. If he's close but not quite close enough, don't reply. For me, a reply like that is worse than ignoring someone, particularly when you've asked a man to make an effort and seemingly he is! Let's say said guy keeps getting lacklustre replies despite putting the effort in to write considered relevant messages, could anyone blame him for losing the drive to bother to make that effort and resort to sending one sentence messages instead? Furthermore, if it continues maybe he'll start looking at himself and thinking perhaps I'm just not that attractive, etc. I think the point I'm trying to drive home is if you ask for a man (that meets your provisional requirements) to make the effort and you choose to reply because you're interested, make the effort back. Otherwise, in my opinion you're spoiling it for genuine people. Your actions are leaving them disillusioned and eventually they'll quit the site leaving you with the idiots. You have three options when you get a message, ignore and delete, reply and decline or reply to suggest interest and progress things. Be fair to people, if you haven't got the time to reply properly, do it at another time. If you can only muster one word, then don't bother at all, you clearly aren't interested really. It's not rocket science. If they don't respond they're not interested. If they respond with something you feel is inadequate then it's entirely your choice as to whether to continue pursuing said person - or just move on. None of which makes life on site any harder for anyone else - which is the point people are trying to get across. It affects nobody but you. A How many times are you expected to 'just move on' Obi? Every time you get ignored, declined or if you feel you're putting in all the effort. Engaging in conversation on here isn't compulsory nor should it be hard work. Why put yourself through the stress when you can easily avoid it? A I think you're missing the point A. I never said engaging in conversation was compulsory, I said if you don't want to speak, don't reply. Being ignored or declined can be hard to take but sending somone a 'decent' message and getting one word in return is worse in a lot of ways! Would you blame a man who stops making the effort if he's constantly up against that? What if you're consistently getting those kind of replies, should you just give up on Fab? With all due respect A, can you truly relate to the experiences of a single guy on here as you're part of couple? We met here. My old solo profile had over 100 veris. So yes - I can relate. But it makes no difference whether you're male, female or a couple. Being on site should involve stress or be 'hard work'. If it does? Move on. Fair enough. My experience has been very different to yours and I can only move on so many times before I give up completely, I'm only human. Perhaps that sizeable manhood helped your cause... A" | |||
"Of course. Ok, let's take a single guy on Fab. Photo verified and positively verified by let's say, two women. He has a profile picture, a few tasteful public pics without his face in but states on his profile he will share face pics privately. He's takes then time to write a profile that reflects what he's looking for and says a bit about himself. Said guy comes across a profile for a single female that he likes the look of. Hes within the age range that she's stated, fits her ethnicity preferences and he's not too far away, good start. He reads her profile, nice over_iew of what she expects, profile pic, face pics privately and a nice message (ideally one that stands out) written in proper English, again, he's still good to go. The profile reads on, let's say she's stated that guys must be over 6 foot, good personal hygiene, non smokers and non drug users. She also asks that they must be capable of holding a conversation. So, this guy has provisionally hit all of her criteria, she hasn't seen his pics and whether he can hold a conversation is still to come buy why shouldn't he send her a message. He takes on board everything that he's read and writes her a message, in proper English, highlighting how he meets the things she set out in her profile, how he's not too far away etc and makes ref to the fact that he's attached pics for her to look at. Now, this is where I think some women are spoiling it. Having gone through that process, some women choose to reply with either one sentence or in some cases, one word. What has that guy done to warrant that? If you don't like the look of him, don't reply. If his message bored you or ding stir you, don't reply. If he's close but not quite close enough, don't reply. For me, a reply like that is worse than ignoring someone, particularly when you've asked a man to make an effort and seemingly he is! Let's say said guy keeps getting lacklustre replies despite putting the effort in to write considered relevant messages, could anyone blame him for losing the drive to bother to make that effort and resort to sending one sentence messages instead? Furthermore, if it continues maybe he'll start looking at himself and thinking perhaps I'm just not that attractive, etc. I think the point I'm trying to drive home is if you ask for a man (that meets your provisional requirements) to make the effort and you choose to reply because you're interested, make the effort back. Otherwise, in my opinion you're spoiling it for genuine people. Your actions are leaving them disillusioned and eventually they'll quit the site leaving you with the idiots. You have three options when you get a message, ignore and delete, reply and decline or reply to suggest interest and progress things. Be fair to people, if you haven't got the time to reply properly, do it at another time. If you can only muster one word, then don't bother at all, you clearly aren't interested really. It's not rocket science. If they don't respond they're not interested. If they respond with something you feel is inadequate then it's entirely your choice as to whether to continue pursuing said person - or just move on. None of which makes life on site any harder for anyone else - which is the point people are trying to get across. It affects nobody but you. A How many times are you expected to 'just move on' Obi? Every time you get ignored, declined or if you feel you're putting in all the effort. Engaging in conversation on here isn't compulsory nor should it be hard work. Why put yourself through the stress when you can easily avoid it? A I think you're missing the point A. I never said engaging in conversation was compulsory, I said if you don't want to speak, don't reply. Being ignored or declined can be hard to take but sending somone a 'decent' message and getting one word in return is worse in a lot of ways! Would you blame a man who stops making the effort if he's constantly up against that? What if you're consistently getting those kind of replies, should you just give up on Fab? With all due respect A, can you truly relate to the experiences of a single guy on here as you're part of couple? Why not stick to the real world then if you are getting better responses there? [I am confused]" Josie, when did I say I was getting better responses in the 'real' world? | |||
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"... I think you're missing the point A. I never said engaging in conversation was compulsory, I said if you don't want to speak, don't reply. Being ignored or declined can be hard to take but sending somone a 'decent' message and getting one word in return is worse in a lot of ways! Would you blame a man who stops making the effort if he's constantly up against that? What if you're consistently getting those kind of replies, should you just give up on Fab? With all due respect A, can you truly relate to the experiences of a single guy on here as you're part of couple? Why not stick to the real world then if you are getting better responses there? [I am confused] Josie, when did I say I was getting better responses in the 'real' world? " You didn't; it just reads like you are equating your experience here to something [the real world?] You make good points. If I were a guy and had to put in as much effort for negligible results then I too would loose heart However, please do try and see this from a woman's point of _iew. I am getting messages from totally unsuitable men and I get frustrated with the general lack of respect from men here. Granted that your message will be a nice one but when one is going through 100s of messages a week in the evenings after work, one does sometimes just get ratty with the odd nice one too So, it is the guys who are spoiling it for other guys | |||
"Fair enough. My experience has been very different to yours and I can only move on so many times before I give up completely, I'm only human. Perhaps that sizeable manhood helped your cause..." I want in a rush. I met socially. I went to clubs, socials and parties. I spent time arseing around on the forums. I travelled. I didn't rely just on messages sent on the site - nor on just the site itself. It's just a website. A means of contact. If it's not working? Adapt. A | |||
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"I would have thought it was a mathematical thing...one Vagina versus 50 penis" Sounds like a few porno's I've seen | |||
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"That's fair A, I accept those points and respect the suggestions. " You've some great clubs on your doorstep. Give them a bash! Good luck.
A | |||
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