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Meeting up precautions
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By *LandHM OP Couple
over a year ago
oxford |
We've been contacted about a meet but they are also very new. What could possibly go very wrong at a meet in a hotel for example? If you meet in the bar for a social thing with possibly more to come what precautions should you take and what red flags should you look out for beforehand?
Thanks
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First thing you'll need to do is get a credit check done (you don't wanna be paying for drinks all night) then CRB check etc can never be too careful..pat them down as you meet while your partner points the tazer at them, making sure no unexpected weapons or the like...next get them to complete a simple questionaire on their past experiences, job history, spouses the lot. Should put your mind at ease when you realise none of it was needed and paranoia is a head fuck  |
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Go with your instinct and if you feel something isn't right trust it. Agree that everything stops if any one of the four of you says so and enjoy yourselves.
Are the other couple on here? Chatting with them about your concerns might have been your first move |
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By *aitMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
What are the risks?
Violence: Take a can of pepper spray.
Theft: Lock your valuables in the car boot. Carry only a credit card and/or the amount of money you can afford to lose and your car keys.
Privacy: Don't play if they have a camera. If they start taking photos with a mobile, keep moving - throw clothes and pillows. One of you "attacks" the photographer while the other dresses.
Work out what to do to guard against any other specific risks that occur to you. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"First thing you'll need to do is get a credit check done (you don't wanna be paying for drinks all night) then CRB check etc can never be too careful..pat them down as you meet while your partner points the tazer at them, making sure no unexpected weapons or the like...next get them to complete a simple questionaire on their past experiences, job history, spouses the lot. Should put your mind at ease when you realise none of it was needed and paranoia is a head fuck "
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"Go with your instinct and if you feel something isn't right trust it. Agree that everything stops if any one of the four of you says so and enjoy yourselves.
Are the other couple on here? Chatting with them about your concerns might have been your first move "
Very good advice  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Privacy: Don't play if they have a camera. If they start taking photos with a mobile, keep moving - throw clothes and pillows. One of you "attacks" the photographer while the other dresses
"
Very good! |
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Agreed with the camera thing, also might be worth setting a safe word between you and your partner, like 'ice cream' if either you feel uncomfortable with things you mention the ice cream word and the other partner will know it's the cue to get your coats and leave |
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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago
Nr Manchester |
Sorry to sound like a broken record but why don't you meet in a club? The issues mentioned in this thread are just about all dealt with in such a situation.
Did consider the wisdom of 2 new couples meeting but on second thoughts that shouldn't be a problem and could add to the excitement and empathy.
Have you shared face pics?
Have you had a fem to fem chat to make sure they are in fact a couple?
Really hope its a great experience but don't let your hopes and fantasies get in the way of having a good time, whatever form that takes.
Him |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"We've been contacted about a meet but they are also very new. What could possibly go very wrong at a meet in a hotel for example? If you meet in the bar for a social thing with possibly more to come what precautions should you take and what red flags should you look out for beforehand?
Thanks
"
I dare say they may well be thinking exactly the same things!!
Just arrange to meet in a bar - a neutral venue that's public and easy to leave from if things don't pan out.
A pre meet phone call to say hi and to check there's a male and female (and to show to them that you're a real couple too!) just to confirm the day before is well worthwhile.
You'll soon learn that overthinking starts all kinds of paranoia and really isn't worth doing.
Good luck.
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Flippant answers aside (amusing though they are!) the two main things we've experienced that are likely to go wrong are:
1 - You meet at the bar, chat for a while, but for any of various reasons (not as gorgeous in person as they are in photos) one or more of you doesn't want to take it further; Simply being honest and polite here is usually fine, but sometimes someone will have had a bit too much to drink and get rude/abusive/aggressive (some people don't need a drink to be unpleasant...). As embarrassing as this is likely to be in a public situation at least you have the protection of being in a public place with other people nearby (and the bar staff will call the police if necessary).
It's not going to be an enjoyable experience for any of you, but at least a good thing to have happened *before* heading back to a room.
* It's worth checking with them (whether single/couple) and bring up how they would feel/react if any of you felt they didn't want to take things further on the night. Decent & reasonable people will have no problem with this. We've been both the decliners and the declinees a few times, and made the most of an enjoyable social evening.
** If you are a couple, find a go/no-go communication method so that you can make sure you are both in agreement of wanting to play. Something for red/amber/green might work. We use subtle hand gestures as signals. Having a social meeting first also works, but not everyone likes or has the time for that.
*** Always check in advance of meeting that both parts of a couple do exist and are intending to meet. Meeting a "couple" at a hotel and then discovering it's just the bloke tonight as his "wife" got called away but luckily he's still OK to play... yeah, that does happen.
2 - If you've decided to go back to a hotel room for play, the other thing that might happen is that over the course of the fun someone in the heat of the fun oversteps a boundary for someone else.
It might be a bit of a passion dampener for some, but agree up-front all of your boundaries and wishes. What's normal for one couple might not be for another. In particular the basics of condoms (what you want them used for), kissing (where is acceptable, where is not), and cum (again, where is acceptable, where is not!). We find that agreeing these up front - along with plenty of naughty extra suggestions of what we like, can be fun too, but it means that everyone's clear, and we've not had any problems with that.
Hope this is of some help! We hasten to add, the few problems we've had have been a tiny number compared to the number of lovely meetings we've had, and since insisting on a F-F call ahead of time and preferring a social meet first, we've had no problems at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Flippant answers aside (amusing though they are!) the two main things we've experienced that are likely to go wrong are:
1 - You meet at the bar, chat for a while, but for any of various reasons (not as gorgeous in person as they are in photos) one or more of you doesn't want to take it further; Simply being honest and polite here is usually fine, but sometimes someone will have had a bit too much to drink and get rude/abusive/aggressive (some people don't need a drink to be unpleasant...). As embarrassing as this is likely to be in a public situation at least you have the protection of being in a public place with other people nearby (and the bar staff will call the police if necessary).
It's not going to be an enjoyable experience for any of you, but at least a good thing to have happened *before* heading back to a room.
* It's worth checking with them (whether single/couple) and bring up how they would feel/react if any of you felt they didn't want to take things further on the night. Decent & reasonable people will have no problem with this. We've been both the decliners and the declinees a few times, and made the most of an enjoyable social evening.
** If you are a couple, find a go/no-go communication method so that you can make sure you are both in agreement of wanting to play. Something for red/amber/green might work. We use subtle hand gestures as signals. Having a social meeting first also works, but not everyone likes or has the time for that.
*** Always check in advance of meeting that both parts of a couple do exist and are intending to meet. Meeting a "couple" at a hotel and then discovering it's just the bloke tonight as his "wife" got called away but luckily he's still OK to play... yeah, that does happen.
2 - If you've decided to go back to a hotel room for play, the other thing that might happen is that over the course of the fun someone in the heat of the fun oversteps a boundary for someone else.
It might be a bit of a passion dampener for some, but agree up-front all of your boundaries and wishes. What's normal for one couple might not be for another. In particular the basics of condoms (what you want them used for), kissing (where is acceptable, where is not), and cum (again, where is acceptable, where is not!). We find that agreeing these up front - along with plenty of naughty extra suggestions of what we like, can be fun too, but it means that everyone's clear, and we've not had any problems with that.
Hope this is of some help! We hasten to add, the few problems we've had have been a tiny number compared to the number of lovely meetings we've had, and since insisting on a F-F call ahead of time and preferring a social meet first, we've had no problems at all."
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By *LandHM OP Couple
over a year ago
oxford |
In the end we're not going to be available for the meet but something just didn't seem quite right. Planning to go to a club for our first experience now in a couple of weeks. Thanks for the answers everyone! |
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"In the end we're not going to be available for the meet but something just didn't seem quite right. Planning to go to a club for our first experience now in a couple of weeks. Thanks for the answers everyone!"
This is just my opinion here but I wouldn't be happy if you'd chatted to me about meeting then called it off telling a public forum that things didn't seem quite right. |
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By *ridmusCouple
over a year ago
sheffield |
"First thing you'll need to do is get a credit check done (you don't wanna be paying for drinks all night) then CRB check etc can never be too careful..pat them down as you meet while your partner points the tazer at them, making sure no unexpected weapons or the like...next get them to complete a simple questionaire on their past experiences, job history, spouses the lot. Should put your mind at ease when you realise none of it was needed and paranoia is a head fuck "
 Hehehe love it! |
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