FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > 3 years and still find it hard
3 years and still find it hard
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From the off knowing that everyone was attracted to each other. If at parties or clubs and talking I'll rest my hand somewhere sutle... If that person brushes my hand off or move away I know I'm barking up the wrong tree lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A little flirting and I get a return flirt I simply ask would they like to play. If I'm unsure of the messages I'm getting I offer a massage...usually works!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A little flirting and I get a return flirt I simply ask would they like to play. If I'm unsure of the messages I'm getting I offer a massage...usually works!! "
Can you offer me a massage |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok as most of you can see we are not newbies and have been on meets , party's and clubs but we still find it hard to get any play started !
What works for you ?"
I will keep an eye on this. More than a decade in this lifestyle yet still struggle to start things off.
If someone else doesn't make a move. I won't lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So often the social side of swinging kills the very reason we swing . It's great to chat and get along with other people , but when the opportunity to play passes , we would get home and say wtf happened ?
This would occur at clubs and parties , and since we don't drink , we would often find that the play didn't start till midnight , by which time we would be heading home !
We became more proactive and would often just come out with it , like suggesting we go upstairs to see if the potential playmates were up for it . This works , but becomes a bit contrived and soon everyone knew our ways and the excitement dwindled .
So we now just do what we do , the way we play now works well for us . We don't do socials and potential meets know what to expect .
We still like to chat and get to know people , but ultimately , play is always gonna happen .
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"Ok as most of you can see we are not newbies and have been on meets , party's and clubs but we still find it hard to get any play started !
What works for you ?"
The right people! With the right people things just flow naturally. |
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 we need to meet people like you .
We are very sociable and do enjoy chatting about fab over drinks .
We do flirt and receive flirting back but that's as far as it sometimes gets . Numerous times we have left it to late for play  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love to the social aspect of swinging just as much as the sex.
I really enjoying just having a laugh and chat and meeting interesting people. And usually both parties know after that if some fun to going to happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you are obviously a polite respectful couple and it doesn't come easy for you to initiate play. when we had our first threesome we were like after you no after so we understand were your coming from. maybe try to think what the worst thing to happen if you suggest play is they say no and then you can move on to the next one or ask questions about weather they play at clubs etc to see how they feel |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"Ok as most of you can see we are not newbies and have been on meets , party's and clubs but we still find it hard to get any play started !
What works for you ?
I will keep an eye on this. More than a decade in this lifestyle yet still struggle to start things off.
"
Same for me.... 
I think it's a combination of being rubbish at reading signals and not wanting to be pushy or put someone on the spot.
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This forum has really helped .
We do try to be polite jewelandscratch as you get more bees with honey then vinegar . Love the ink by the way 
Maybe we are rubbish at reading signals and we need to work on that . Benderoos I think you hit the nail on the head lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This forum has really helped .
We do try to be polite jewelandscratch as you get more bees with honey then vinegar . Love the ink by the way
Maybe we are rubbish at reading signals and we need to work on that . Benderoos I think you hit the nail on the head lol
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You can be up front but polite just because sometimes I (Mr) can come out a bit forward when the vibe is right by no means makes us in polite or pushy just 90% of the time come out with what everyone else is thinking and to afraid to talk about |
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"I'm clueless both at reading and giving signals. I never know when someone is attracted to me so bumble about until someone hopefully pins me down and takes the lead. Yhen I'm like "oh hello"  "
where do we meet you lol |
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"I'm clueless both at reading and giving signals. I never know when someone is attracted to me so bumble about until someone hopefully pins me down and takes the lead. Yhen I'm like "oh hello"
where do we meet you lol"
oh bumbling about somewhere lol x |
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As newbies, we have been thinking about this. How do you go about asking the question that takes a social to play? Neither of us are pushy and wouldn't want to ruin a good night if that makes sense.
B |
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By *aitMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
Start off by saying "We usually chat for half an hour, then decide if we want to play".
Watch the clock.
After thirty minutes, say "Well, time's up. The chemistry isn't quite right, so we would like to keep this social", or "shall we play?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Start off by saying "We usually chat for half an hour, then decide if we want to play".
Watch the clock.
After thirty minutes, say "Well, time's up. The chemistry isn't quite right, so we would like to keep this social", or "shall we play?""
This |
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