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relationship and swinging
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How do couples go about swinging I want to stay in my relationship but I also want fun with other people I suggested swinging to my partner but I dont think hes very happy with the idea haha I think im pushing my luck wanting the best of both worlds what can I say to him to make him understand what I need sexualy im happy in my relationship just not sexualy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Opening a profile on a swinging site is rather jumping the gun by the sounds of things.
Perhaps you should concentrate on sorting out the sexual side of your relationship first and talk to your partner lots.
Swinging as a couple works best when both halves are both fully happy and communicating openly with each other.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do couples go about swinging I want to stay in my relationship but I also want fun with other people I suggested swinging to my partner but I dont think hes very happy with the idea haha I think im pushing my luck wanting the best of both worlds what can I say to him to make him understand what I need sexualy im happy in my relationship just not sexualy "
I'd recommend going to a club with him. It's how my fella gently eased me into seeing what it's all about. Darcy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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communication is important om a relationship
swinging isnt everything.
if you are bores sexually with him try explaining what you like and show him
even things like
candles on nice mood set
mastobation with nice underwear on show him u like to be touched and how |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have a night out to a club like xtasia it's like a night club but fun is there if you go looking ... And be up to you. As you can just look see what's going on ...have fun together or just dance Drink make friends and chat .. It's like a normal night out just a bit more erotic.  |
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"How do couples go about swinging I want to stay in my relationship but I also want fun with other people I suggested swinging to my partner but I dont think hes very happy with the idea haha I think im pushing my luck wanting the best of both worlds what can I say to him to make him understand what I need sexualy im happy in my relationship just not sexualy "
You can say what you need sexually and open up a conversation. He's the one you should be saying this to, not us...communicate with him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know i'm single but i've been swinging a little over a year now - and of the 'successfull' couples i've met - many of whom are now friends - swinging is the icing on an already very good cake - not the cake itself! If you have a problem with your cake - ie your sex life - then no amount of icing will make it perfect! Xx |
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"I suggested swinging to my partner but I dont think hes very happy with the idea"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there's your answer. He's not into it. Swinging only works if you are BOTH willing, and he's not.
Maybe he'll come around, but until then, it's off the table. Sorry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know i'm single but i've been swinging a little over a year now - and of the 'successfull' couples i've met - many of whom are now friends - swinging is the icing on an already very good cake - not the cake itself! If you have a problem with your cake - ie your sex life - then no amount of icing will make it perfect! Xx"
This is it in a cake box.
I have a great cake. Icing is just that  |
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"How do couples go about swinging I want to stay in my relationship but I also want fun with other people I suggested swinging to my partner but I dont think hes very happy with the idea haha I think im pushing my luck wanting the best of both worlds what can I say to him to make him understand what I need sexualy im happy in my relationship just not sexualy "
notice your in sunderland so why not bring him along to your local club vivente its got an nightclub atmoshere in bar area sit relax both take it all in walk about see what goes on then make your minds up if you feel comfy within the scene |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gotta say, I agree with some of the above posts....dragging a partner Into swinging isn't gonna help...in fact solidity has to be there first or you'll do more damage than good...
Work it out at home before moving into inviting others into the marital bed..or going outside the marital bed yourself...a bad relationship isn't an excuse to wonder....not to me anyhow, but then, I'm not the arbiter of your moral compass, that's you...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He hasnt said no he just isnt sure because hes never thought about it so he is trying to understand what swinging as a couple is and as for letting him know what I want doesnt help as we both need to explore sexualy and I know certain things he likes that I dont and I like that he doesn't so we do comunicate haha |
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If this was a man putting this post up he would get loads of grief off anyone but seen as though its a woman everyone is ok with it I'm not bothered either way I just think people should stop taking the piss and stop judging people x |
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We're also a little confused as to what you're saying as it's a little contradictory.
We kind of fell in to swinging. We've both been very open sexually since we met so to us it wasn't a big step. We can't even think now which one of us suggested it as it just happened.
What we'll say is that swinging for couples works best in very strong and secure relationships. We've both seen couples where doubt and jealousy have eaten them up by trying swinging.
We do hope you can sort out the issues in your relationship and that hopefully it'll lead you both to a better place! |
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"I know i'm single but i've been swinging a little over a year now - and of the 'successfull' couples i've met - many of whom are now friends - swinging is the icing on an already very good cake - not the cake itself! If you have a problem with your cake - ie your sex life - then no amount of icing will make it perfect! Xx"
Perfectly put! This is how we feel, we already had a wonderful relationship, then N suggested this and we just kinda knew itv was right for us, communication is key, and if his concern is you leaving going about it behind his back probably won't gelp, good luck! Xx |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"How do couples go about swinging I want to stay in my relationship but I also want fun with other people I suggested swinging to my partner but I dont think hes very happy with the idea haha I think im pushing my luck wanting the best of both worlds what can I say to him to make him understand what I need sexualy im happy in my relationship just not sexualy "
I would suggest looking at websites and podcasts such as "Life on the Swing Set". That will give you great tips on how to bring it up, and generally how to improve communication in your relationship etc. I thoroughly recommend Life on The Swing Set and my wife and I wouldn't be here without it.
There are also a number of books on the subject such as Opening Up by Tristan Taormino. I haven't read it myself but it gets very good reviews.
I hope this helps, good luck
Feel free to PM me if you want |
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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago
Nr Manchester |
"How do couples go about swinging I want to stay in my relationship but I also want fun with other people I suggested swinging to my partner but I dont think hes very happy with the idea haha I think im pushing my luck wanting the best of both worlds what can I say to him to make him understand what I need sexualy im happy in my relationship just not sexualy notice your in sunderland so why not bring him along to your local club vivente its got an nightclub atmoshere in bar area sit relax both take it all in walk about see what goes on then make your minds up if you feel comfy within the scene "
This is probably the best idea. Agree just to go for the social side initially and perhaps chat with other established couples. Speaking from experience which many if not most couples have had, you don't know you won't be jealous about what your partner is doing until you've tried it but you may need to get to that point in small steps.
Him |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"If this was a man putting this post up he would get loads of grief
This is true and normal for this place
Hex"
It would nice if people could be positive and supportive to others in the community, but this is an internet forum and they all tend to descend into mudslinging and criticizing other people's choices  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I stopped reading halfway down. The hypocricy of this thread is hilarious. Persuade him. Ease him into it. Take him to a club. Yeah because that is what every man asking the same is always told.
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"I stopped reading halfway down. The hypocricy of this thread is hilarious. Persuade him. Ease him into it. Take him to a club. Yeah because that is what every man asking the same is always told.
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It is amazing the difference gender makes on here at times! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I stopped reading halfway down. The hypocricy of this thread is hilarious. Persuade him. Ease him into it. Take him to a club. Yeah because that is what every man asking the same is always told.
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Most have neglected to see she's on here as a single and her partner isn't keen
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Like I said further up its an account from when I was single ive hid my profile just thought I would ask advice for him on here seen as hes thinking about it but like some others have suggested I think a club would be a good idea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Like I said further up its an account from when I was single ive hid my profile just thought I would ask advice for him on here seen as hes thinking about it but like some others have suggested I think a club would be a good idea"
Wow I'm surprised anyone posts on the forum to be honest..talk about people getting the claws out lol. doom and gloom comments |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive never used it before but thought it would be a good idea seen as people can help from experience but guess not haha"
I guess you've got to take the bits you want and ignore the rest lol . |
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"I know i'm single but i've been swinging a little over a year now - and of the 'successfull' couples i've met - many of whom are now friends - swinging is the icing on an already very good cake - not the cake itself! If you have a problem with your cake - ie your sex life - then no amount of icing will make it perfect! Xx"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do couples go about swinging I want to stay in my relationship but I also want fun with other people I suggested swinging to my partner but I dont think hes very happy with the idea haha I think im pushing my luck wanting the best of both worlds what can I say to him to make him understand what I need sexualy im happy in my relationship just not sexualy "
Is fucking strangers more important than your relationship? Only you can answer that. I made that decision 6 months ago and with hindsight made the totally wrong choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get the feeling your sex life with him isn't great. I think you should be open with him about that and work on it first and see how it goes. X"
Defo this ^ we got into swinging because our sex lives was already great not because we were lacking in something I can't think of anything worse than going to someone else for better sex! Different sex yes that's ok however I'd hate to be in a situation we're one person wanted to live a life the other one didn't so as many have already said just keep talking and maybe try a club or go on a few socials to listen to other swingers and I wish you luck. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No our sex is good just were both a bit inexperienced and tried new things together just like I said theres thing he wants that I dont and I want that he doesnt gawd I feel like a parrot haha I was literally just wanting advice to open him up sexualy which he knows im on here asking as he is the one wanting the advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No our sex is good just were both a bit inexperienced and tried new things together just like I said theres thing he wants that I dont and I want that he doesnt gawd I feel like a parrot haha I was literally just wanting advice to open him up sexualy which he knows im on here asking as he is the one wanting the advice"
What did you say? Ha.
Maybe it's just the way you worded your original post that is confusing people :/. So are you saying that you was a swinger before meeting him, he wasn't/isn't and you'd quite like him to see what it's all about as you think it would be fun together and you secretly don't really want to give it up? He's possibly intrigued but he's not sure how to go about it?
I think from how you worded your post that people are thinking your trying to push him into it..Or am I completely wrong and your gonna have to be a parrot again? Haha |
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"Like I said further up its an account from when I was single ive hid my profile just thought I would ask advice for him on here seen as hes thinking about it but like some others have suggested I think a club would be a good idea"
Am I wrong in thinking that your verification being from Saturday says differently?  |
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"I know i'm single but i've been swinging a little over a year now - and of the 'successfull' couples i've met - many of whom are now friends - swinging is the icing on an already very good cake - not the cake itself! If you have a problem with your cake - ie your sex life - then no amount of icing will make it perfect! Xx"
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By *oo hotCouple
over a year ago
North West |
"I know i'm single but i've been swinging a little over a year now - and of the 'successfull' couples i've met - many of whom are now friends - swinging is the icing on an already very good cake - not the cake itself! If you have a problem with your cake - ie your sex life - then no amount of icing will make it perfect! Xx"
Very well put |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i do understand where he is coming from, The thought of another guy with his girl can be tough. If i was you I would get him to see it as he will be able to have sex with other girls, make it seem fun and exiting for him, say you'll only swing with him perhaps, to begin with at least. Always go for couple on couple that way he will enjoy it too and if a guy your with has a massive cock don't ever ever mention the size of it or how it felt good to him, least until he becomes comfortable with swinging |
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"i do understand where he is coming from, The thought of another guy with his girl can be tough. If i was you I would get him to see it as he will be able to have sex with other girls, make it seem fun and exiting for him, say you'll only swing with him perhaps, to begin with at least. Always go for couple on couple that way he will enjoy it too and if a guy your with has a massive cock don't ever ever mention the size of it or how it felt good to him, least until he becomes comfortable with swinging"
He doesn't want to do it or at least isn't happy with the idea.
Nobody should be made to feel that because their partner wants to swing they should try to get to like it.
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"I stopped reading halfway down. The hypocricy of this thread is hilarious. Persuade him. Ease him into it. Take him to a club. Yeah because that is what every man asking the same is always told.
It is amazing the difference gender makes on here at times!"
My advice would be the same either way, books, websites and podcasts that encourage open communications with your partner.
If she has these desires (like the rest of us do) she should express them to her partner. When vanilla people have these feelings but don't open up, they either live their lives with unfulfilled desires, or they cheat.
I doubt that anything anyone says on here is going to remove the desire she has. She has been very brave in raising the issue with her partner and I personally would like to see more sexually empowered women like this in the world.
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By *ilberryMan
over a year ago
Scarborough |
Why are we all so judgmental? People should be able to lead their lives as they wish? If a woman enjoys two men at once, or a husband wants to be with a guy, what the F? The risk is the hurt caused to the people around them, when we are finished life is full of risk, if you live your life to the full? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why are we all so judgmental? People should be able to lead their lives as they wish? If a woman enjoys two men at once, or a husband wants to be with a guy, what the F? The risk is the hurt caused to the people around them, when we are finished life is full of risk, if you live your life to the full?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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how do they do it and make it work - by having respect for each other and talking to each other - not overstepping boundaries and having a whole heap of fun - the shared friends and social fun is great too |
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As said below, take him to a swinging club, where he knows there is no pressure to play,my wife wasn't to keen to start,I took her to a club,and she got so turned on she actually started having fun within an hour, we have been swinging 5 years now at club meets private meets and party's not to mention a couple of solo meets each,it enhanced our sex lives,we are not hardened singers but enjoy fun two or three times a year when we get the chance, |
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