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boundries
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just curious...
Have you ever met someone that has overstepped the mark, emotionally i mean.
At what point do you think its got a bit weird?
This is a sex site afterall, have any of you experienced anything that has made you think...hang on a minute??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah had someone tell me he wanted a relationship after our 2nd meet. Fair enough we did chat all the time and got to know each other really well and spend a lot of 'time' with each other. I actually felt the same way about him weirdly. It was weird from the minute i felt it, not sure how it happened i guess we just didn't put any boundaries up? |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
Chatting away to a guy on here... all going fine, had been chatting a while.
Getting close to meeting, when he told me he'd already fallen for me.
Brakes on, no meet... and then he started telling me he had seen me and my son in the local supermarket, overtaken my car, seen me at the playpark etc...
He's one of the reasons I am so cautious on here now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just curious...
Have you ever met someone that has overstepped the mark, emotionally i mean.
At what point do you think its got a bit weird?
This is a sex site afterall, have any of you experienced anything that has made you think...hang on a minute???"
It may be a 'sex site' as you put it but within the site it's full of human beings with emotions and feelings. I'd guess there will be a few who have gone beyond the clinical aspect and developed feelings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Several times....with ladies who seemed to think fab works the same way as match.com etc.
Bunny boilers....the young ones (23-28) have tended to be the worse! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Chatting away to a guy on here... all going fine, had been chatting a while.
Getting close to meeting, when he told me he'd already fallen for me.
Brakes on, no meet... and then he started telling me he had seen me and my son in the local supermarket, overtaken my car, seen me at the playpark etc...
He's one of the reasons I am so cautious on here now."
oh wow that's bad. Hope you managed to throw him off in the end x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just curious...
Have you ever met someone that has overstepped the mark, emotionally i mean.
At what point do you think its got a bit weird?
This is a sex site afterall, have any of you experienced anything that has made you think...hang on a minute???
It may be a 'sex site' as you put it but within the site it's full of human beings with emotions and feelings. I'd guess there will be a few who have gone beyond the clinical aspect and developed feelings."
it is a sex site....not a dating site or facebook |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just curious...
Have you ever met someone that has overstepped the mark, emotionally i mean.
At what point do you think its got a bit weird?
This is a sex site afterall, have any of you experienced anything that has made you think...hang on a minute???
It may be a 'sex site' as you put it but within the site it's full of human beings with emotions and feelings. I'd guess there will be a few who have gone beyond the clinical aspect and developed feelings.
it is a sex site....not a dating site or facebook"
it's a swinging site... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just curious...
Have you ever met someone that has overstepped the mark, emotionally i mean.
At what point do you think its got a bit weird?
This is a sex site afterall, have any of you experienced anything that has made you think...hang on a minute???
It may be a 'sex site' as you put it but within the site it's full of human beings with emotions and feelings. I'd guess there will be a few who have gone beyond the clinical aspect and developed feelings.
it is a sex site....not a dating site or facebook"
I guess it's perspective as we don't view it as a sex site and I didn't mention dating or facebook sites just pointed out that people are people regardless of the type of site they are on and feelings can develop without warning. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just curious...
Have you ever met someone that has overstepped the mark, emotionally i mean.
At what point do you think its got a bit weird?
This is a sex site afterall, have any of you experienced anything that has made you think...hang on a minute???
It may be a 'sex site' as you put it but within the site it's full of human beings with emotions and feelings. I'd guess there will be a few who have gone beyond the clinical aspect and developed feelings.
it is a sex site....not a dating site or facebook
it's a swinging site..."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"just pointed out that people are people regardless of the type of site they are on and feelings can develop without warning."
i am using this site as a sex site, definitely not ready for a relationship and to be unselfish to anyone, but yeah happened to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im curious as to why you feel you need support? You asked a question and people answered.....that's all. No right or wrong ....other than your description of Fab as a sex site  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sorry... I didn't mean to come across as horrible.
Just got a situation going on now that is making me very uncomfortable but not sure if it's my own emotions reading to much in to things
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"just pointed out that people are people regardless of the type of site they are on and feelings can develop without warning.
i am using this site as a sex site, definitely not ready for a relationship and to be unselfish to anyone, but yeah happened to me."
Agree
I've been doing this about 12 year now and in all that time I've only ever met one guy I started getting feelings for, I knew it was wrong so I stopped meeting him, it was the hardest thing I've done on here telling him I didn't want to meet him anymore, he asked me why I'm just said its a sex site time to move on, he text me a few times after asking if he had done something wrong etc I just ignored him and eventually he stopped calling, texting, I understand this is a sex site and I had no rights feeling the way I did about a guy I met off here but I'm only human and sometimes we can't control our feelings, we can however control how we act on them and I felt due to the nature of the site I acted appropriately |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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But we're either of you married?
If you were both single people that that's fine as long as the other understands and respects if it's not felt back.
I guess I just didn't expect emotions to come in to it due to the nature of the site. We are here for fun not to pull.
It's certainly an eye opener
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ive had to tell 2 women to leave!! talk abt overststayin a welcome one was here 3days the other a week "
Get outa here
Who's got a whole week free for a meet dont these people have jobs  |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
Why does the site have to be 'labelled'? I see it as a site that facilitates people meeting with each other that have similar interests. As with any hobby or pastime, people meet, get involved and some even get married. People who meet on fab have met and get married.
We all get out of this site what we want from it and not everyone likes the fact that friendships and relationships are made. I've made many good friends on here that I have now known for a long time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Agree
I've been doing this about 12 year now and in all that time I've only ever met one guy I started getting feelings for, I knew it was wrong so I stopped meeting him, it was the hardest thing I've done on here telling him I didn't want to meet him anymore, he asked me why I'm just said its a sex site time to move on, he text me a few times after asking if he had done something wrong etc I just ignored him and eventually he stopped calling, texting, I understand this is a sex site and I had no rights feeling the way I did about a guy I met off here but I'm only human and sometimes we can't control our feelings, we can however control how we act on them and I felt due to the nature of the site I acted appropriately"
I develop mild feelings for a few people if i see them regularly that don't last long and i get over that easy enough, and even if i don't i still care about them like mates would.
But yeah this one guy i told him i don't wanna see him again, felt ok for a while and then made the mistake of meeting up with him a couple of times since. Not sure if he's playing me because i haven't felt anything as deep as what i feel for him, people can get you to like them if they want to.
It wouldn't matter to me the fact that i met him on this site, but just that i'm not ready for anything like this and i don't understand why i felt i did? Idk somethings not right in my head anyway.
If you don't know after 12 years i suppose there's no hope for a newbie.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ive had to tell 2 women to leave!! talk abt overststayin a welcome one was here 3days the other a week
Get outa here
Who's got a whole week free for a meet dont these people have jobs "
one pulled a sicky (i opened a world of debuachery she found too exciting to go to work) and the other wasnt working and id not got any work. fun but when they started gettin cosy and watching eastbenders and corrie oops time to go girls |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok.. put yourself in this situation. ..your married, been swinging for 5 years on and off and have had all kinds of meets, groups, couples and single meets.
but this one time a single meet turned in to the lady chasing the hubby....
Shaken me....rightly or wrongly? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok.. put yourself in this situation. ..your married, been swinging for 5 years on and off and have had all kinds of meets, groups, couples and single meets.
but this one time a single meet turned in to the lady chasing the hubby....
Shaken me....rightly or wrongly?"
How did your husband respond? Because that's all the would matter to me.
But yeah if most people are respectful and then someone isn't it would bother me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's also why my best friend is just that....and we both fully understand that. I've just come back from spending the weekend in her caravan...as we often do.
We have single profiles on here....we meet other people, though often will discuss this before/after.
Our only rule is that we will NOT play with others as a couple.
We live, basically in the same road....but we won't live with each other....both like being single at the current time. It causes us no problems as we are. We have same kind of taste in breakfasts so why spoil a good thing? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok.. put yourself in this situation. ..your married, been swinging for 5 years on and off and have had all kinds of meets, groups, couples and single meets.
but this one time a single meet turned in to the lady chasing the hubby....
Shaken me....rightly or wrongly?"
Happens the other way round too I met a few couples where after I've had the guy mailing me to meet him alone and not tell her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's only natural to feel shaken, it's the last thing you were expecting to happen especially as you're not new to the scene, but that's always a risk when you bring a third person into your sex life.
As long as your man has made it quite clear that the feelings are not reciprocated and you trust him (which I'm sure you do) then try not to worry. Make sure you have no further meets with her and cut all contact for your own peace of mind.
Juicy x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's only natural to feel shaken, it's the last thing you were expecting to happen especially as you're not new to the scene, but that's always a risk when you bring a third person into your sex life.
As long as your man has made it quite clear that the feelings are not reciprocated and you trust him (which I'm sure you do) then try not to worry. Make sure you have no further meets with her and cut all contact for your own peace of mind.
Juicy x"
He is going back for a second meet... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's only natural to feel shaken, it's the last thing you were expecting to happen especially as you're not new to the scene, but that's always a risk when you bring a third person into your sex life.
As long as your man has made it quite clear that the feelings are not reciprocated and you trust him (which I'm sure you do) then try not to worry. Make sure you have no further meets with her and cut all contact for your own peace of mind.
Juicy x
He is going back for a second meet..."
Have you talked to him about it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah. He says I need to trust him and he is right but I can't help but feel shaken due to how obvious she is about wanting him.
I'm hoping I'm reading to much in to, trying to talk myself out of worrying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah. He says I need to trust him and he is right but I can't help but feel shaken due to how obvious she is about wanting him.
I'm hoping I'm reading to much in to, trying to talk myself out of worrying "
This I think he's being very selfish. He should definitely not be going on a meet that you're uncomfortable with!!
She has overstepped the mark in your eyes and he should respect your feelings and cut all contact out of respect for your relationship. Neither party in a couple should be doing something the other person feels remotely uncomfortable with.
I hope he sees sense before it causes a real issue between you.
Juicy x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't be happy about that. Think you're right to worry, and not about only her but him too. Why would he want to meet someone like that?
I wouldn't take his word as reassurance, i'd only take his actions.
If i was in a relationship and wanted to stay in one, emotionally, no way would i even entertain anyone who is trying to get inbetween that. Especially not for a fuck. I know the answer above is pretty much the same (and better) just reaffirming it.
It's also not fair on the woman either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's also not fair on the woman either."
this.
If he is aware she has some feelings or is becoming attached then by meeting her he is also being unfair to her by leading her on.
If he meets her again I can't see it ending well I'm afraid, for anyone concerned.
You really need to put your foot down on this. I'm sure if there was someone he didn't want you to meet, you would respect that and stay away from that person.
Juicy x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's also not fair on the woman either.
this.
If he is aware she has some feelings or is becoming attached then by meeting her he is also being unfair to her by leading her on.
If he meets her again I can't see it ending well I'm afraid, for anyone concerned.
You really need to put your foot down on this. I'm sure if there was someone he didn't want you to meet, you would respect that and stay away from that person.
Juicy x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is always messy when one person gets emotionally attached. Please speak to your husband about it. No doubt you have to trust him, but he has to trust your judgement. I'm sure he is confident he can 'handle' the situation, but can the other lady?
As is often rammed down my throat, swinging is a couples activity, built on trust. That surely has to be a two way street.
He has to respect that you are mot comfortable with the situation and put the brakes on.
Apologies if I have misread the situation, I'm only one coffee into today. Good luck though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's only natural to feel shaken, it's the last thing you were expecting to happen especially as you're not new to the scene, but that's always a risk when you bring a third person into your sex life.
As long as your man has made it quite clear that the feelings are not reciprocated and you trust him (which I'm sure you do) then try not to worry. Make sure you have no further meets with her and cut all contact for your own peace of mind.
Juicy x
He is going back for a second meet..."
Then it's not just her overstepping your boundaries, it's him too. You need to have a serious talk with him about what's acceptable and what's not within your swinging. It isn't about whether you trust him or not with her, but with your feelings. how would he feel if it was the other way round? And what's going to happen next? Will he continue to see her even when he knows how it makes you feel? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah. He says I need to trust him and he is right but I can't help but feel shaken due to how obvious she is about wanting him.
I'm hoping I'm reading to much in to, trying to talk myself out of worrying
This I think he's being very selfish. He should definitely not be going on a meet that you're uncomfortable with!!
She has overstepped the mark in your eyes and he should respect your feelings and cut all contact out of respect for your relationship. Neither party in a couple should be doing something the other person feels remotely uncomfortable with.
I hope he sees sense before it causes a real issue between you.
Juicy x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's only natural to feel shaken, it's the last thing you were expecting to happen especially as you're not new to the scene, but that's always a risk when you bring a third person into your sex life.
As long as your man has made it quite clear that the feelings are not reciprocated and you trust him (which I'm sure you do) then try not to worry. Make sure you have no further meets with her and cut all contact for your own peace of mind.
Juicy x
He is going back for a second meet..."
I wonder how he would feel if it was the other way round ? You were meeting a single guy for a second time that he knew was very keen on you ? Might be worth asking him what he'd feel like. I bet he wouldn't be happy about it.
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"Ok.. put yourself in this situation. ..your married, been swinging for 5 years on and off and have had all kinds of meets, groups, couples and single meets.
but this one time a single meet turned in to the lady chasing the hubby....
Shaken me....rightly or wrongly?"
If you are of comfortable then just cut contact.... Done
Anything either of us doesn't feel right with is just stopped straight away.
We also ignore any individual contact to try and stop this sort of thing happening as well. We've stopped seeing two couples because of male halves trying to crack on to Mrs P individually... |
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Ok just read the remaining posts. We wouldn't ho back on an individual basis purely because that would show a lot of disrespect to our partner. More communication maybe? Does he know just how unhappy you are about it all?
Tell him point blank... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry... I didn't mean to come across as horrible.
Just got a situation going on now that is making me very uncomfortable but not sure if it's my own emotions reading to much in to things
X"
Wasn't taken as being horrible I understand now you have elaborated. I think he is being selfish and thoughtless if he meets her again knowing how you feel. It's one of the risks of meeting separately I guess. I hope he declined to meet her for all of your sakes. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry... I didn't mean to come across as horrible.
Just got a situation going on now that is making me very uncomfortable but not sure if it's my own emotions reading to much in to things
X"
Confused here  aren't you a couple? Why is it just you dealing with it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry... I didn't mean to come across as horrible.
Just got a situation going on now that is making me very uncomfortable but not sure if it's my own emotions reading to much in to things
X
Confused here aren't you a couple? Why is it just you dealing with it"
Sorry just read the full post
must be hard for you and imo he shouldn't be seeing her again if he knows how you are feeling, you need to stop it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah. He says I need to trust him and he is right but I can't help but feel shaken due to how obvious she is about wanting him.
I'm hoping I'm reading to much in to, trying to talk myself out of worrying
This I think he's being very selfish. He should definitely not be going on a meet that you're uncomfortable with!!
She has overstepped the mark in your eyes and he should respect your feelings and cut all contact out of respect for your relationship. Neither party in a couple should be doing something the other person feels remotely uncomfortable with.
I hope he sees sense before it causes a real issue between you.
Juicy x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok I know we're not your normal couple but when we started we had boundaries that were agreed upon by both. Gradually those were tested and moved accordingly with what we both felt happiest with but there's been times when 1 of us has done something that has upset the other. However we avoid those happening by discussing and respecting how each other feels. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"It's only natural to feel shaken, it's the last thing you were expecting to happen especially as you're not new to the scene, but that's always a risk when you bring a third person into your sex life.
As long as your man has made it quite clear that the feelings are not reciprocated and you trust him (which I'm sure you do) then try not to worry. Make sure you have no further meets with her and cut all contact for your own peace of mind.
Juicy x
He is going back for a second meet..."
Your feelings should come first, in my opinion. Why would he want to meet someone when he knows you feel uncomfortable about it?
How would he feel if it was the other way round?
I think for swinging to work, both parties have to be completely happy.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He is going back on his own.
We are both happy swinging, we have done it for years now and met singly before but I have never had this situation before so it's just thrown me a bit. But he is right, and need and do trust him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He is going back on his own.
We are both happy swinging, we have done it for years now and met singly before but I have never had this situation before so it's just thrown me a bit. But he is right, and need and do trust him."
He needs to respect you. If you feel uncomfortable for any reason, he shouldn't go!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No we have always said no personal numbers are given out to anyone.
Friends or not. We like a certain amount of distance between this and our personal life x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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every relationship is different but in our opinion he should not be meeting with her if you are unhappy about it. you say you have met separate before did any of these meets raise this issue. he says you should trust him but he should respect your feelings |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Had lots of single meets before on out old profiles and they were never an issue....vat then they didn't keep chasing us for it.
I have seen all the convo and she has even told me how much she wants him.
I'm happy for him to meet singles but never had any one person keen on and on so I guess I'm just not used to it.
At the end of the day he is coming home to me so I just need to keep my emotions in a check I think and remember that it's just fun, nothing else
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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this is why hubby and I have only one rule which we never break. If either one of us is uncomfortable with anything at all we won't do it. no questions asked. It's about respect for the other person and nothing at all to do with trust. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"this is why hubby and I have only one rule which we never break. If either one of us is uncomfortable with anything at all we won't do it. no questions asked. It's about respect for the other person and nothing at all to do with trust. "
Same here....
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"this is why hubby and I have only one rule which we never break. If either one of us is uncomfortable with anything at all we won't do it. no questions asked. It's about respect for the other person and nothing at all to do with trust. "
Totally agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He is going back on his own.
We are both happy swinging, we have done it for years now and met singly before but I have never had this situation before so it's just thrown me a bit. But he is right, and need and do trust him."
I'm sure you do trust him but you obviously don't trust her and you're uncomfortable with what is happening. He should respect your feelings and rememeber that you are his wife, his love and his #1 and that she is in your life for sex, not the type of feelings you sense she has. Don't blame yourself, he should take control and make sure you're happy with everything. |
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"Had lots of single meets before on out old profiles and they were never an issue....vat then they didn't keep chasing us for it.
I have seen all the convo and she has even told me how much she wants him.
I'm happy for him to meet singles but never had any one person keen on and on so I guess I'm just not used to it.
At the end of the day he is coming home to me so I just need to keep my emotions in a check I think and remember that it's just fun, nothing else
x"
I still think it's wrong, and it probably is, it's making you uncomfortable
And yes it only takes that 1 person |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sorry. Didn't explain that right. We have bumped in to single meets we have had at parties and clubs and that's fine coz we all played as a group. But if we have a single meet we don't tend to go back |
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"Sorry. Didn't explain that right. We have bumped in to single meets we have had at parties and clubs and that's fine coz we all played as a group. But if we have a single meet we don't tend to go back"
There's your answer then, if you don't want him to go, tell him!!! |
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By *iwife81Couple
over a year ago
Bolton |
Has she expressed feelings for him, or is it just your intuition? Maybe your partner hasn't picked up on this and only senses the need of the woman to have sex with him and nothing more?
I agree though with other posters. If I was unsettled about a meet, I'd hope my husband wouldn't go and we wouldn't see the person again.
Good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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so you had separate profiles before but now have a couple one and never have second meets but this time he is. when she says she wants him is it in a sexual way or relationship way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No always had a couple profile but we can and do meet singles.
until now we have never meet any singles again on our own, if we have seen them at parties or clubs that's fine.
She wants him sexual I think but is messing him a lot just to chat about normal everyday life things... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah, he said it wouldn't bother him... I think maybe im reading to much in to things.
Doesnt matter now tho anyway, he has gone off to meet her so nothing more I can do but to trust him.
Thanks for all the advice tho guys
xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP I don't envy you - the only thing I would say would be that in the future if your intuition is firing like that listen to it and make as much stink as you need to to get through to him. If it were me, hell would freeze over before there was a third meet between the two of them. It isn't so much about being insecure - it's about him not respecting your feelings on this.
IMHO, no you don't just have to "trust him" - you should however trust your gut from now on: women know how certain other women work.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks.
I don't mind him meeting people honestly I don't. But I am upset that he has gone knowing I was uneasy about it. I'm hoping there won't be a 3rd meet but I will have to see what happens.
He has been gone an hour now, horrid feeling |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why does the site have to be 'labelled'? I see it as a site that facilitates people meeting with each other that have similar interests. As with any hobby or pastime, people meet, get involved and some even get married. People who meet on fab have met and get married.
We all get out of this site what we want from it and not everyone likes the fact that friendships and relationships are made. I've made many good friends on here that I have now known for a long time."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks.
I don't mind him meeting people honestly I don't. But I am upset that he has gone knowing I was uneasy about it. I'm hoping there won't be a 3rd meet but I will have to see what happens.
He has been gone an hour now, horrid feeling"
Yes I can imagine the horrid feeling. Don't know you but feel for you - sending you some cyber hugs OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just curious...
Have you ever met someone that has overstepped the mark, emotionally i mean.
At what point do you think its got a bit weird?
This is a sex site afterall, have any of you experienced anything that has made you think...hang on a minute???"
When I 1st came back on here 7 years ago, someone fell for me and it was horrible, I wasn't single open relationship and he didn't understand it was nsa |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah, he said it wouldn't bother him... I think maybe im reading to much in to things.
Doesnt matter now tho anyway, he has gone off to meet her so nothing more I can do but to trust him
Thanks for all the advice tho guys
xx"
Could she not come to you? Or would that just be weird?
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By *iwife81Couple
over a year ago
Bolton |
"OP I don't envy you - the only thing I would say would be that in the future if your intuition is firing like that listen to it and make as much stink as you need to to get through to him. If it were me, hell would freeze over before there was a third meet between the two of them. It isn't so much about being insecure - it's about him not respecting your feelings on this.
IMHO, no you don't just have to "trust him" - you should however trust your gut from now on: women know how certain other women work. "
Exactly, woman's intuition. He probably has no sense of it afterall, but if you feel this bad now then you need to make sure there are no more meets. This could become much worse. Maybe there is nothing more to it than sex, but he needs to understand you are uneasy and it can't be swept away. This is meant to be fun for all parties xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks.
I don't mind him meeting people honestly I don't. But I am upset that he has gone knowing I was uneasy about it. I'm hoping there won't be a 3rd meet but I will have to see what happens.
He has been gone an hour now, horrid feeling"
The fact that he has gone ahead despite your feelings just smacks of utter disregard for you. The monkey and discussed this when I first posted to you this morning, no matter how irrational he thought I was being about the situation, he would still not meet her and would cut all contact with her because to me, it sounds like your partners putting his and her wants and desires before yours...
Can I ask, do they communicate in a way that excludes you? |
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I had something a little claustrophic once and neighbours got involved, as someone was hanging around most of the time, as well as contacting me every which way, as it was obviously love that we had between us. I'd ventured little further than a hand job. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hope it works out, I've a funny feeling someone's gonna get hurt and soon....
Pls let us know your ok and what he's said about all this x"
OP's already been hurt. He betrayed her by going anyway.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He swears it's just sex and admitted that he even felt she was being a bit much so we went to see her to yell her to back off a bit.....then slept with her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He swears it's just sex and admitted that he even felt she was being a bit much so we went to see her to yell her to back off a bit.....then slept with her "
Why did u not just go?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm just wondering, what's the problem with having emotions for someone else?
I mean, to me it's like saying 'I have two kids, but I can only feel something for one of them, because I only have enough emotions for one kid'.
I dunno. I have so many feelings to share around. I don't mind that at all. l have feelings for friends, lovers, partners and occasionally people who I barely know at all. It's wonderful. It's not a limited resource, there's plenty to go around. Having feelings for a new person doesn't mean I'll feel less for the others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Several times....with ladies who seemed to think fab works the same way as match.com etc.
Bunny boilers....the young ones (23-28) have tended to be the worse!"
I agree with this...then done a total u turn...i dont get them..oh and of course its always the mans fault |
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Surely he could have politely asked her to back off a bit and respect your relationship without seeing her face to face? He's bound to want to have sex with her once he's there if she's someone he had previously been attracted to and had sex with before...he is, after all, only a man!
I would assume it was his intention to have sex with her from the outset. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He swears it's just sex and admitted that he even felt she was being a bit much so we went to see her to yell her to back off a bit.....then slept with her "
so you were there with them? im getting lost! you both went to say hang on this is a bit much, then he had sex with her, so where were you? do you stay, watch or leave? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely he could have politely asked her to back off a bit and respect your relationship without seeing her face to face? He's bound to want to have sex with her once he's there if she's someone he had previously been attracted to and had sex with before...he is, after all, only a man!
I would assume it was his intention to have sex with her from the outset. "
this |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No I wasn't there he went on his own to meet her then said he told her to back off when he came home.
We are both able to have single meets. I prefer to have fun with guys at parties or clubs not one on one. That's my choice.
I definitely don't want to give this world up. I enjoy it as much as he does, and we have met some great people and made friends. but I think we need to have another chat about ground rules.
We are off out to spend time together tonight so hopefully we can discuss it and sort things.
Thanks so much for your support through this.
x |
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"I'm just wondering, what's the problem with having emotions for someone else?
I mean, to me it's like saying 'I have two kids, but I can only feel something for one of them, because I only have enough emotions for one kid'.
I dunno. I have so many feelings to share around. I don't mind that at all. l have feelings for friends, lovers, partners and occasionally people who I barely know at all. It's wonderful. It's not a limited resource, there's plenty to go around. Having feelings for a new person doesn't mean I'll feel less for the others."
But that's not how the OP sees it and not the relationship she wants. She told him she felt very uncomfortable and didn't want him to meet this woman, and he went anyway.
That, to me, says there is a major issue here that needs dealt with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just curious...
Have you ever met someone that has overstepped the mark, emotionally i mean.
At what point do you think its got a bit weird?
This is a sex site afterall, have any of you experienced anything that has made you think...hang on a minute???"
Yes both in person, in messge and in passing
It's sad and almost pathetic when it's an adult |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No I wasn't there he went on his own to meet her then said he told her to back off when he came home.
We are both able to have single meets. I prefer to have fun with guys at parties or clubs not one on one. That's my choice.
I definitely don't want to give this world up. I enjoy it as much as he does, and we have met some great people and made friends. but I think we need to have another chat about ground rules.
We are off out to spend time together tonight so hopefully we can discuss it and sort things.
Thanks so much for your support through this.
x"
hope all goes well tonight i feel for you best of luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wonder what his reaction would be if you arranged a meet with a guy on your own
Bet his mind would be working overtime "
exactly!! especially if he said id rather you didnt and you still did!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No I wasn't there he went on his own to meet her then said he told her to back off when he came home.
We are both able to have single meets. I prefer to have fun with guys at parties or clubs not one on one. That's my choice.
I definitely don't want to give this world up. I enjoy it as much as he does, and we have met some great people and made friends. but I think we need to have another chat about ground rules.
We are off out to spend time together tonight so hopefully we can discuss it and sort things.
Thanks so much for your support through this.
x"
I guess in his eyes it's 'only Swinging' and she means nothing but a fuck (am I allowed to say that..whoops lol). I guess you should be proud he's in demand..but he's your man and your more than a fuck to him :D |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are a few on here that claim to want NSA, but, when it comes down to it are looking for more, my view is, that until Mr right comes along, I'm happy to be Mr right now, anything else is out of the question.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why didn't you man up and put your foot down? My partner would have had his balls in a vice by now. Sounds like he's running the show and you're going along with it. Speak up.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just wondering, what's the problem with having emotions for someone else?
I mean, to me it's like saying 'I have two kids, but I can only feel something for one of them, because I only have enough emotions for one kid'.
I dunno. I have so many feelings to share around. I don't mind that at all. l have feelings for friends, lovers, partners and occasionally people who I barely know at all. It's wonderful. It's not a limited resource, there's plenty to go around. Having feelings for a new person doesn't mean I'll feel less for the others."
This is how we feel too. We have long term playmates that we have both developed strong feelings for. Having said that we have talked with each other many many times about this and we are both completely happy with the way things are. We feel privileged to have other wonderful people in our lives as well as each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't know how long the op and her partner have been together but i've got admit, if I was in that position, I think I would be seriously considering just walking away
Hope things work out for you op * hugs * |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wonder what his reaction would be if you arranged a meet with a guy on your own
Bet his mind would be working overtime exactly!! especially if he said id rather you didnt and you still did!!"
This
I understand that it's your choice not to play alone with single men, but that's why he can't understand how you feel. He's never been sat at home waiting for you while you've been on a one on one meet alone. I bet if you did meet alone and then one of your meets developed feelings for you, he would not feel comfortable with you continuing to meet him!
You've also said that prior to this he's never met any single fems more than once, so what is it about her thats making him want to meet her for a second time?
My husband and I don't meet alone (each to their own) BUT if we did, as someone else has said, I'd have his balls in a vice by now. I'm sorry but your man is showing complete disregard for your feelings and total lack of respect for your relationship. As soon as you mentioned that you didn't feel right about it, he should have cancelled the meet and cut contact no questions asked.
I hope you manage to sort it out, but I feel you both need a break from the scene to clarify your feelings and boundaries.
Juicy x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I meet guys alone and I have one fuck buddy/friend with benefits who I see on and off. I care about him quite a lot.
Sometimes we play and husband gets photos. Sometimes we just sit in the pub and chat. Husband is never there.
Husband is fine with it. He is also mates with this guy.
Husband chats online to girls but hasn't met anyone yet.
The important thing isn't what rules are "acceptable" in swinging.
It's if one of you says "no, stop" and the other carries on. That's the problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I meet guys alone and I have one fuck buddy/friend with benefits who I see on and off. I care about him quite a lot.
Sometimes we play and husband gets photos. Sometimes we just sit in the pub and chat. Husband is never there.
Husband is fine with it. He is also mates with this guy.
Husband chats online to girls but hasn't met anyone yet.
The important thing isn't what rules are "acceptable" in swinging.
It's if one of you says "no, stop" and the other carries on. That's the problem."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is there anything wrong with having feelings for someone .. this is swing ..so no one should expect monogamy ... nor an exclusive relationship ... "
Just because it's swinging doesn't mean you can hurt your partner with a clear conscience |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is there anything wrong with having feelings for someone .. this is swing ..so no one should expect monogamy ... nor an exclusive relationship ... "
We're swingers, but we have an exclusive relationship...emotionally exclusive-we fuck other people but we never put the needs of ourselves or others before those of each other... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"is there anything wrong with having feelings for someone .. this is swing ..so no one should expect monogamy ... nor an exclusive relationship ...
Just because it's swinging doesn't mean you can hurt your partner with a clear conscience "
"Non-exclusive" is not the same as "hurting". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is there anything wrong with having feelings for someone .. this is swing ..so no one should expect monogamy ... nor an exclusive relationship ...
Just because it's swinging doesn't mean you can hurt your partner with a clear conscience
"Non-exclusive" is not the same as "hurting"."
It is if one person isn't comfortable with it and the other just ignores it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is there anything wrong with having feelings for someone .. this is swing ..so no one should expect monogamy ... nor an exclusive relationship ...
Just because it's swinging doesn't mean you can hurt your partner with a clear conscience
"Non-exclusive" is not the same as "hurting".
It is if one person isn't comfortable with it and the other just ignores it."
Yeah for sure. I'd never advocate that.
But you know, I was really just saying that if someone is interested in someone else too, doesn't mean that they'll have less feelings for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is there anything wrong with having feelings for someone .. this is swing ..so no one should expect monogamy ... nor an exclusive relationship ...
Just because it's swinging doesn't mean you can hurt your partner with a clear conscience
"Non-exclusive" is not the same as "hurting".
It is if one person isn't comfortable with it and the other just ignores it.
Yeah for sure. I'd never advocate that.
But you know, I was really just saying that if someone is interested in someone else too, doesn't mean that they'll have less feelings for you."
But it's not necessarily about your partner and their feelings...it's how the other you invite into your relationship behaves and makes you feel...
I've seen friends in poly relationships where it has gone disastrously wrong because the 3rd isn't able to understand the dynamic... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"is there anything wrong with having feelings for someone .. this is swing ..so no one should expect monogamy ... nor an exclusive relationship ...
We're swingers, but we have an exclusive relationship...emotionally exclusive-we fuck other people but we never put the needs of ourselves or others before those of each other..."
Ditto. Some people see that as being selfish I think
S x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"is there anything wrong with having feelings for someone .. this is swing ..so no one should expect monogamy ... nor an exclusive relationship ...
Just because it's swinging doesn't mean you can hurt your partner with a clear conscience
"Non-exclusive" is not the same as "hurting".
It is if one person isn't comfortable with it and the other just ignores it.
Yeah for sure. I'd never advocate that.
But you know, I was really just saying that if someone is interested in someone else too, doesn't mean that they'll have less feelings for you."
I know what your saying.... But most people don't think and feel the way you do, I'm in no way saying your wrong!! It must be incredibly liberating not to be insecure or jealous.... Ironically I'm a little jealous of you!! Haha  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"is there anything wrong with having feelings for someone .. this is swing ..so no one should expect monogamy ... nor an exclusive relationship ...
We're swingers, but we have an exclusive relationship...emotionally exclusive-we fuck other people but we never put the needs of ourselves or others before those of each other...
Ditto. Some people see that as being selfish I think
S x"
Don't get me wrong-that does not make us cold or unfeeling towards the people that we meet-we like to think that people leave our embrace somehow enhanced by the experience...
But-if either of us has even the slightest doubt, then it doesn't happen-no matter how irrational it is... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"is there anything wrong with having feelings for someone .. this is swing ..so no one should expect monogamy ... nor an exclusive relationship ...
We're swingers, but we have an exclusive relationship...emotionally exclusive-we fuck other people but we never put the needs of ourselves or others before those of each other...
Ditto. Some people see that as being selfish I think
S x
Don't get me wrong-that does not make us cold or unfeeling towards the people that we meet-we like to think that people leave our embrace somehow enhanced by the experience...
But-if either of us has even the slightest doubt, then it doesn't happen-no matter how irrational it is..."
Yep totally agree.
I put loads, emotionally, into my relationship with my OH.
There's no way I could invest that in more than one person - I'd be drained!
I like the feeling of exclusivity - anything other would feel like polyamory and that definitely isn't for me
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just curious...
Have you ever met someone that has overstepped the mark, emotionally i mean.
At what point do you think its got a bit weird?
This is a sex site afterall, have any of you experienced anything that has made you think...hang on a minute???"
Been called a slapper for getting a veri by a "friend" who's blocked ME here cause im a jealous person...
Hang on a minute moment indeed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"He swears it's just sex and admitted that he even felt she was being a bit much so we went to see her to yell her to back off a bit.....then slept with her "
Mixed emotions alarm bells ringing loud and clear.
I feel for you OP I really do, hope you can resolve this and move on x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Ok...we had a long chat, although he knew i wasnt totally comfy with it he didnt realise just how much it affected me, So thats my fault for not telling him i guess.
He said we would stop swinging, i said no, i enjoy this just as much if not more than him, but we have agreed no more single meets, we often play in separate rooms and clubs and parties and thats totally fine with me, but we go together and leave together, new rule!
I know i should have put my foot down earlier but i hate telling him he cant do something if he enjoys it, I feel like im nagging him.
But all sorted now, thanks so much for listening to me drone on
xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just curious...
Have you ever met someone that has overstepped the mark, emotionally i mean.
At what point do you think its got a bit weird?
This is a sex site afterall, have any of you experienced anything that has made you think...hang on a minute???
Been called a slapper for getting a veri by a "friend" who's blocked ME here cause im a jealous person...
Hang on a minute moment indeed"
that person wasnt a friend then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok...we had a long chat, although he knew i wasnt totally comfy with it he didnt realise just how much it affected me, So thats my fault for not telling him i guess.
He said we would stop swinging, i said no, i enjoy this just as much if not more than him, but we have agreed no more single meets, we often play in separate rooms and clubs and parties and thats totally fine with me, but we go together and leave together, new rule!
I know i should have put my foot down earlier but i hate telling him he cant do something if he enjoys it, I feel like im nagging him.
But all sorted now, thanks so much for listening to me drone on
xx"
good to hear a happy ending |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok...we had a long chat, although he knew i wasnt totally comfy with it he didnt realise just how much it affected me, So thats my fault for not telling him i guess.
He said we would stop swinging, i said no, i enjoy this just as much if not more than him, but we have agreed no more single meets, we often play in separate rooms and clubs and parties and thats totally fine with me, but we go together and leave together, new rule!
I know i should have put my foot down earlier but i hate telling him he cant do something if he enjoys it, I feel like im nagging him.
But all sorted now, thanks so much for listening to me drone on
xx"
Excellent  ..a nice happy ending |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok...we had a long chat, although he knew i wasnt totally comfy with it he didnt realise just how much it affected me, So thats my fault for not telling him i guess.
He said we would stop swinging, i said no, i enjoy this just as much if not more than him, but we have agreed no more single meets, we often play in separate rooms and clubs and parties and thats totally fine with me, but we go together and leave together, new rule!
I know i should have put my foot down earlier but i hate telling him he cant do something if he enjoys it, I feel like im nagging him.
But all sorted now, thanks so much for listening to me drone on
xx"
I hope it was a good clear honest chat and you also g et what you are after on here as no point swinging if its all about one persons fun and not the others
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"But we're either of you married?
If you were both single people that that's fine as long as the other understands and respects if it's not felt back.
I guess I just didn't expect emotions to come in to it due to the nature of the site. We are here for fun not to pull.
Indeed. I came onsite as a swinger,looking for good sex. I didnt expect to be overwhelmed by one of my meets and kept "sctum" about it..just enjoying seeing him. Imagine my surprise when after several months he confessed he had feelings for me. We are adults, making choices.. and there are no rules about emotion. We have joined forces to swing as a couple double the fun!
It's certainly an eye opener
X"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok...we had a long chat, although he knew i wasnt totally comfy with it he didnt realise just how much it affected me, So thats my fault for not telling him i guess.
He said we would stop swinging, i said no, i enjoy this just as much if not more than him, but we have agreed no more single meets, we often play in separate rooms and clubs and parties and thats totally fine with me, but we go together and leave together, new rule!
I know i should have put my foot down earlier but i hate telling him he cant do something if he enjoys it, I feel like im nagging him.
But all sorted now, thanks so much for listening to me drone on
xx"
Good news.
But... you're a couple. You feelings are just as important as his. If you liked something and he didn't, you wouldn't do it.
Big hugs to you both xx |
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Yes just the past few days. Got chatting to a guy he seemed really nice. Started chatting on kik he then started making comments like "your mine". Then we spoke on the phone once and after that he kept demanding for me to phone him. I did not phone him again as i started to back off. Yesterday he demanded yet again to phone him so i ignored his message. This morning i got this message "too busy on fab to reply to me you fucking slag" i ignored him yet again and blocked him on fab. Then i got another message saying " you have been messaging other guys you slag as i got my mate to message you to find out if you were chatting to other guys"
WFT he acted like this and we had not even met. All i can say is what a lucky escape xx |
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"There are a few on here that claim to want NSA, but, when it comes down to it are looking for more, my view is, that until Mr right comes along, I'm happy to be Mr right now, anything else is out of the question. "
Hope you work it out OP.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes just the past few days. Got chatting to a guy he seemed really nice. Started chatting on kik he then started making comments like "your mine". Then we spoke on the phone once and after that he kept demanding for me to phone him. I did not phone him again as i started to back off. Yesterday he demanded yet again to phone him so i ignored his message. This morning i got this message "too busy on fab to reply to me you fucking slag" i ignored him yet again and blocked him on fab. Then i got another message saying " you have been messaging other guys you slag as i got my mate to message you to find out if you were chatting to other guys"
WFT he acted like this and we had not even met. All i can say is what a lucky escape xx"
Imagine if you would of met!! Jeez talk about dodged a bullet! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A few guys on here aren't right in the head. Luckily they're rare. Unfortunately i have met 3 of them, hasn't put me off meeting anyone new though, just making me find more ways to deal with other peoples shit.  |
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Its put me off chatting to people as if its true and he has a friend on here i do t know who is friend is. On the day he said i was chatting i spoke to 3 different guys so unsure if he is lying or one of them is his friend. I know you cant and understand why you cant but he should be named and shamed x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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His 'friend' might have actually been him even? Or he just guessed you were chatting to other guys coz you were on here so obviously doing something on here.
So hard to tell who to trust on the internet unfortunately.
Don't let him mess with your head. Just act like everyone you spoke to that day is genuine still, be wary about what contact details you give out to anyone (like phone number or address).
If one of them is his mate they'll slip up eventually. All liars and fakes do. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes just the past few days. Got chatting to a guy he seemed really nice. Started chatting on kik he then started making comments like "your mine". Then we spoke on the phone once and after that he kept demanding for me to phone him. I did not phone him again as i started to back off. Yesterday he demanded yet again to phone him so i ignored his message. This morning i got this message "too busy on fab to reply to me you fucking slag" i ignored him yet again and blocked him on fab. Then i got another message saying " you have been messaging other guys you slag as i got my mate to message you to find out if you were chatting to other guys"
WFT he acted like this and we had not even met. All i can say is what a lucky escape xx"
Bloody hell he has major problems!
Hope your alright x |
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