FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How do you reject people?
How do you reject people?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I never know how to politely reject people on here, so often ignore or block.
Tbh i don't have time to reply to everyone anyway, and many guys i don't want to reject, but for the sake of appeasing those who think it's rude to ignore how do you tell someone their message was shit, boring or crude or you think they're ugly, but in polite terms? |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Anyone who doesn't attach a face pic, or who obviously haven't read my profile, gets ignored. Anyone who has read my profile but doesn't grab me gets a 'thanks but no.' Any follow up messages get ignored. |
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"I never know how to politely reject people on here, so often ignore or block.
Tbh i don't have time to reply to everyone anyway, and many guys i don't want to reject, but for the sake of appeasing those who think it's rude to ignore how do you tell someone their message was shit, boring or crude or you think they're ugly, but in polite terms?"
The same underlying question of rejection and blocking is being discussed in another thread called "Blocking. Is it normal?" in The Lounge.
It is a tricky one, and ignoring or blocking can save pain and resentment, but it always triggers the "That's so rude!" response and endless threads of rebuke on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just say, thank you but sorry not what I'm looking for, hope you have lots of fun on the site.
Often that's replied with a "didn't want to meet fat slag like you anyway"
Ocassionaly get polite response back saying thanks, you too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I never know how to politely reject people on here, so often ignore or block.
Tbh i don't have time to reply to everyone anyway, and many guys i don't want to reject, but for the sake of appeasing those who think it's rude to ignore how do you tell someone their message was shit, boring or crude or you think they're ugly, but in polite terms?
The same underlying question of rejection and blocking is being discussed in another thread called "Blocking. Is it normal?" in The Lounge.
It is a tricky one, and ignoring or blocking can save pain and resentment, but it always triggers the "That's so rude!" response and endless threads of rebuke on here."
Yeah i commented, realised my reply was probably impolite but honest, decided to try and get some tact going on...but i also want to be honest.
I'm just not tactful. |
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"I just say, thank you but sorry not what I'm looking for, hope you have lots of fun on the site.
Often that's replied with a "didn't want to meet fat slag like you anyway"
Ocassionaly get polite response back saying thanks, you too"
But you're not fat.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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usually ignore
but some men who are too rude to even read the profile and have athletic ticked,when they clearly are not.
i will say sorry but i like my men to be athletic. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There's no need to say the messages are shit,the profile is rubbish or that someone is ugly
Just say no thank you and that's the end of it"
Yeah but that's what i want to tell them, after all they want a response and i hate lying to people or being 'nice' for the sake of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just say, thank you but sorry not what I'm looking for, hope you have lots of fun on the site.
Often that's replied with a "didn't want to meet fat slag like you anyway"
Ocassionaly get polite response back saying thanks, you too
But you're not fat. "
I don't think I am, but lots men on here seem to think otherwise |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"*Gets some haribos  "
Nah, think this topic is done. I'm being polite enough by telling guys i don't reply to messages in the first place.
Idk just pisses me off guys want a reply if you're not interested in them. One of the hazards of having a profile on the internet where anyone can contact you i guess. Was trying to up my manners to civil but not that arsed already. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ignore if they clearly haven't bothered reading our profile or if they have and I'm/we're not attracted to them we'll just say sorry not for us. No need to go on like our time is more precious than anyone else's  |
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I honestly thing the best response when you don't fancy someone is probably no response at all.
I doubt many of the guys, despite what they say, really want their inbox filled with 'thanks but no thanks' messages. I know I definitely don't. I only want messages from people who, at the very least, have not ruled me out as a non contender.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I honestly thing the best response when you don't fancy someone is probably no response at all.
I doubt many of the guys, despite what they say, really want their inbox filled with 'thanks but no thanks' messages. I know I definitely don't. I only want messages from people who, at the very least, have not ruled me out as a non contender.
"
I'd imagine if guys got a negative reply to every message they sent there would be countless threads asking why the hell can't women just ignore messages if they're not interested, replying with a no thanks is just rude!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*Gets some haribos
Nah, think this topic is done. I'm being polite enough by telling guys i don't reply to messages in the first place.
Idk just pisses me off guys want a reply if you're not interested in them. One of the hazards of having a profile on the internet where anyone can contact you i guess. Was trying to up my manners to civil but not that arsed already."
That's right and yes the best thing to do can be many things, but what I do is just not reply to them if they are further than London lol. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I honestly thing the best response when you don't fancy someone is probably no response at all.
I doubt many of the guys, despite what they say, really want their inbox filled with 'thanks but no thanks' messages. I know I definitely don't. I only want messages from people who, at the very least, have not ruled me out as a non contender.
"
Thankyou, was hoping someone would say this.
Seen it said by women plenty of times assuming men wouldn't want loads of rejection messages and was hoping finally someone would say it themselves.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I honestly thing the best response when you don't fancy someone is probably no response at all.
I doubt many of the guys, despite what they say, really want their inbox filled with 'thanks but no thanks' messages. I know I definitely don't. I only want messages from people who, at the very least, have not ruled me out as a non contender.
"
Hmm, I'll have to disagree I think. 9 out of 10 single males we reject (although that sounds awful!) will reply and say thanks for letting them know either way |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"There's no need to say the messages are shit,the profile is rubbish or that someone is ugly
Just say no thank you and that's the end of it
Yeah but that's what i want to tell them, after all they want a response and i hate lying to people or being 'nice' for the sake of it."
Its up to you how you treat people but I don't see the point in being mean just for the sake of it.
I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate being told the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes messages are just generic like how was your day but not asking for a meet.
I don't like saying no thanks as they haven't asked for a meet but I also don't want to engage in a further conco, so I just delete |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I honestly thing the best response when you don't fancy someone is probably no response at all.
I doubt many of the guys, despite what they say, really want their inbox filled with 'thanks but no thanks' messages. I know I definitely don't. I only want messages from people who, at the very least, have not ruled me out as a non contender.
Thankyou, was hoping someone would say this.
Seen it said by women plenty of times assuming men wouldn't want loads of rejection messages and was hoping finally someone would say it themselves. "
So you just wanted someone to show what you were doing in a good light then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's no need to say the messages are shit,the profile is rubbish or that someone is ugly
Just say no thank you and that's the end of it
Yeah but that's what i want to tell them, after all they want a response and i hate lying to people or being 'nice' for the sake of it.
Its up to you how you treat people but I don't see the point in being mean just for the sake of it.
I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate being told the same. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"*Gets some haribos
Nah, think this topic is done. I'm being polite enough by telling guys i don't reply to messages in the first place.
Idk just pisses me off guys want a reply if you're not interested in them. One of the hazards of having a profile on the internet where anyone can contact you i guess. Was trying to up my manners to civil but not that arsed already.
That's right and yes the best thing to do can be many things, but what I do is just not reply to them if they are further than London lol."
I don't rule out chatting to anyone, if i have the time to. We've even chatted a fair few times, and are miles away.
Just don't see the point if there's nothing to have a conversation about or the guy isn't attractive and there's nothing at all there.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I honestly thing the best response when you don't fancy someone is probably no response at all.
I doubt many of the guys, despite what they say, really want their inbox filled with 'thanks but no thanks' messages. I know I definitely don't. I only want messages from people who, at the very least, have not ruled me out as a non contender.
Thankyou, was hoping someone would say this.
Seen it said by women plenty of times assuming men wouldn't want loads of rejection messages and was hoping finally someone would say it themselves.
So you just wanted someone to show what you were doing in a good light then?"
No. I wanted confirmation, i'd like to see more people also say the same thing for more confirmation actually. Or people contradicting this and explaining why. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone who doesn't attach a face pic, or who obviously haven't read my profile, gets ignored. Anyone who has read my profile but doesn't grab me gets a 'thanks but no.' Any follow up messages get ignored."
That's what I do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Blocking is just extreme IMO, unless they're being a persistent arsehole.
On the side of someone who's had rejection I much prefer to actually receive a reply (if you're not too busy to read, what's a minute of your time to reply?) along the lines of "thanks but not what I'm looking for, take care" etc etc
Now on the other side of things if someone's blatantly not read my profile they'll then get quite the rude response usually "read the profile dickhead"
After that 99% of the time I get no further reply, the 1% are either persistent or accepting.
I have to say also I've never had to block a woman, tv/ts or couple (real ones) only ever men. Granted everyone can be an arsehole, but on here it's usually the men, or the verification police in the forums riding all high and mighty  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There's no need to say the messages are shit,the profile is rubbish or that someone is ugly
Just say no thank you and that's the end of it
Yeah but that's what i want to tell them, after all they want a response and i hate lying to people or being 'nice' for the sake of it.
Its up to you how you treat people but I don't see the point in being mean just for the sake of it.
I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate being told the same. "
Not being mean for the sake of it, these are the thought(s) i have in my head when they message me.
Well no i wouldn't appreciate being told this, which is why i don't reply at all and was asking for advice on how to say these things politely. If it's possible? |
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"A block is the simplest and least painful tool at your disposal."
Personally I think using the block should only be done if the guy has done something to offend. I find blocking quite offensive if I'm honest.
But I think we've had this discussion before about a month or so ago. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Blocking is just extreme IMO, unless they're being a persistent arsehole.
On the side of someone who's had rejection I much prefer to actually receive a reply (if you're not too busy to read, what's a minute of your time to reply?) along the lines of "thanks but not what I'm looking for, take care" etc etc
Now on the other side of things if someone's blatantly not read my profile they'll then get quite the rude response usually "read the profile dickhead"
After that 99% of the time I get no further reply, the 1% are either persistent or accepting.
I have to say also I've never had to block a woman, tv/ts or couple (real ones) only ever men. Granted everyone can be an arsehole, but on here it's usually the men, or the verification police in the forums riding all high and mighty "
Yeah my blocklist is broken anyway, so am having to change how i use this site. Got a lot of messages i would like to reply to, this topic filled up quicker than expected tbh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ive started blocking now.
my profile clearly states bbc or white bodybuiders and men still keep messaging.
when i ask are you a bodybuilder or black they come out with all sorts of b.s |
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"I just say, thank you but sorry not what I'm looking for, hope you have lots of fun on the site.
Often that's replied with a "didn't want to meet fat slag like you anyway"
Ocassionaly get polite response back saying thanks, you too
But you're not fat.
I don't think I am, but lots men on here seem to think otherwise"
Maybe direct them to specsavers. We all know what causes guys to become short sighted. LOL |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"There's no need to say the messages are shit,the profile is rubbish or that someone is ugly
Just say no thank you and that's the end of it
Yeah but that's what i want to tell them, after all they want a response and i hate lying to people or being 'nice' for the sake of it.
Its up to you how you treat people but I don't see the point in being mean just for the sake of it.
I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate being told the same.
Not being mean for the sake of it, these are the thought(s) i have in my head when they message me.
Well no i wouldn't appreciate being told this, which is why i don't reply at all and was asking for advice on how to say these things politely. If it's possible?"
Use a thesaurus,look for the words,shit,rubbish and ugly and choose the least offensive alternatives in your responses and see what the reactions are like |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There's no need to say the messages are shit,the profile is rubbish or that someone is ugly
Just say no thank you and that's the end of it
Yeah but that's what i want to tell them, after all they want a response and i hate lying to people or being 'nice' for the sake of it.
Its up to you how you treat people but I don't see the point in being mean just for the sake of it.
I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate being told the same.
Not being mean for the sake of it, these are the thought(s) i have in my head when they message me.
Well no i wouldn't appreciate being told this, which is why i don't reply at all and was asking for advice on how to say these things politely. If it's possible?
Use a thesaurus,look for the words,shit,rubbish and ugly and choose the least offensive alternatives in your responses and see what the reactions are like "
I'm often looking up synonyms as well because i like doing that, don't know why i didn't think of this. My inbox is often rushed tbf, probably why i don't do it there. Yeah gonna go do that now, any excuse to.
Thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why can't you be nice to someone regardless of what you think of them or their messages/profile? Do you feel you can't tell the truth unless you say it in a nasty way? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I reply to all messages. Most I ask if they read my profile.... I can hear them running screaming...
I have a secret way of saying no thanks. It works great. Haven't had abuse for a year at least. Most say thanks for replying. |
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"I honestly thing the best response when you don't fancy someone is probably no response at all.
I doubt many of the guys, despite what they say, really want their inbox filled with 'thanks but no thanks' messages. I know I definitely don't. I only want messages from people who, at the very least, have not ruled me out as a non contender.
Hmm, I'll have to disagree I think. 9 out of 10 single males we reject (although that sounds awful!) will reply and say thanks for letting them know either way "
And when I get a 'thanks but no thanks' message I message back and say thanks for the polite reply (even when I clearly say on my profile I don't want them!!) but trust me I really, really, really would rather not have received it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never know how to politely reject people on here, so often ignore or block.
Tbh i don't have time to reply to everyone anyway, and many guys i don't want to reject, but for the sake of appeasing those who think it's rude to ignore how do you tell someone their message was shit, boring or crude or you think they're ugly, but in polite terms?"
Usually ignore or if the message has obviously had some thought put into it I'll reply 'no thanx,but good luck' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A block is the simplest and least painful tool at your disposal.
Personally I think using the block should only be done if the guy has done something to offend. I find blocking quite offensive if I'm honest.
But I think we've had this discussion before about a month or so ago."
Agree. I only block if people are abusive. Haven't needed to block anyone for a year or so. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why can't you be nice to someone regardless of what you think of them or their messages/profile? Do you feel you can't tell the truth unless you say it in a nasty way? "
Like i said, it's the first thought that pops in my head. And yeah it probably is nasty but that's how i am i guess.
Am looking at synonyms for ugly right now, think i can actually do this. Quite liking the word disagreeable as a response? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*Gets some haribos "
I bulk bought popcorn....goddamit didn't realise we had progressed to Haribos.....
OP
I try to be as polite as possible with a no thanks......
Some accept it some don't just remember its their issue not yours we can't all be everybody's cup of tea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why can't you be nice to someone regardless of what you think of them or their messages/profile? Do you feel you can't tell the truth unless you say it in a nasty way?
Like i said, it's the first thought that pops in my head. And yeah it probably is nasty but that's how i am i guess.
Am looking at synonyms for ugly right now, think i can actually do this. Quite liking the word disagreeable as a response?"
You don't have to say you're unattractive to me. You could say you aren't my type facially? What do men say to you when they don't find you attractive? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why can't you be nice to someone regardless of what you think of them or their messages/profile? Do you feel you can't tell the truth unless you say it in a nasty way?
Like i said, it's the first thought that pops in my head. And yeah it probably is nasty but that's how i am i guess.
Am looking at synonyms for ugly right now, think i can actually do this. Quite liking the word disagreeable as a response?
You don't have to say you're unattractive to me. You could say you aren't my type facially? What do men say to you when they don't find you attractive? "
I Just politely say not my type and wish them luck with their search |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Oh and in real life i would actually be perceived as worse than nasty. I am terrible at hiding my feelings as facial expressions. Hate it when someone asks me something about themselves and i feel a negative response, my best mate usually steps in for me and answers coz she knows i can't do it or do white lies to be 'nice'. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why can't you be nice to someone regardless of what you think of them or their messages/profile? Do you feel you can't tell the truth unless you say it in a nasty way?
Like i said, it's the first thought that pops in my head. And yeah it probably is nasty but that's how i am i guess.
Am looking at synonyms for ugly right now, think i can actually do this. Quite liking the word disagreeable as a response?
You don't have to say you're unattractive to me. You could say you aren't my type facially? What do men say to you when they don't find you attractive? "
They don't tell me either, i think many people have trouble being upfront about how they really feel because we have been brought up to have manners and know people don't like rejection? I think it's actually weird that guys ask to be rejected if i'm honest about this.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry OP I haven't read the whole thread. Did you say (on another thread at some point) that you don't understand some social situations/ how to react to things? You see things as black and white?
You could find a polite way to reject people- some good examples on here- and just copy/ paste the same rejection message every time. That way there's no risk of hurting people's feelings.
I'm sure you wouldn't hurt someone on purpose. You have a great insight into lots of things. x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sorry OP I haven't read the whole thread. Did you say (on another thread at some point) that you don't understand some social situations/ how to react to things? You see things as black and white?
You could find a polite way to reject people- some good examples on here- and just copy/ paste the same rejection message every time. That way there's no risk of hurting people's feelings.
I'm sure you wouldn't hurt someone on purpose. You have a great insight into lots of things. x"
Yes. Socially i'm inappropriate, but luckily have found people who accept me as i am so i'm ok about it (and myself), but tend to stick to those type of people to socialise with. Obviously on the internet anyone can contact me and not understand me and take me the wrong way.
I can discuss things very deeply and see grey in between the black and white in most things, but obviously rejection and being shallow on here doesn't seem that deep to me? Dunno, might look into the philosophy of rejection or casual sex, that also might give me some ideas. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why can't you be nice to someone regardless of what you think of them or their messages/profile? Do you feel you can't tell the truth unless you say it in a nasty way?
Like i said, it's the first thought that pops in my head. And yeah it probably is nasty but that's how i am i guess.
Am looking at synonyms for ugly right now, think i can actually do this. Quite liking the word disagreeable as a response?
You don't have to say you're unattractive to me. You could say you aren't my type facially? What do men say to you when they don't find you attractive?
They don't tell me either, i think many people have trouble being upfront about how they really feel because we have been brought up to have manners and know people don't like rejection? I think it's actually weird that guys ask to be rejected if i'm honest about this.
"
Unless they've specifically asked for your opinion on their looks or want you to rate them on a scale of attractiveness from 1-10 I don't see why you need to tell them you find them ugly? Can you not just say 'not what I'm looking for'? Or does it give you some sort of satisfaction to say those things? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone who doesn't attach a face pic, or who obviously haven't read my profile, gets ignored. Anyone who has read my profile but doesn't grab me gets a 'thanks but no.' Any follow up messages get ignored."
this and then block. I have tried in the past to respond to all my messages. I don't get that many so it has not been difficult. What is difficult is when I say a polite no thank you and then get more messages either trying to talk me round or ask me why. Blocking is just easier. Sorry but refusal often offends, no matter how nicely done. |
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"Oh and in real life i would actually be perceived as worse than nasty. I am terrible at hiding my feelings as facial expressions. Hate it when someone asks me something about themselves and i feel a negative response, my best mate usually steps in for me and answers coz she knows i can't do it or do white lies to be 'nice'."
Can't remember what you replied to my message or even what my original message to yoy was 4 months ago but whatever it was your reply worked fine because I know I'm not your type but still feel happy enough to engage in your threads and don't feel overly rejected or anything.
In fact I enjoy reading a lot of your posts, even the ones I don't agree with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry not what I'm looking for.
Best wishes
To the one's who make an effort either get's me a polite "thanks for replying" or a block (quite happy for them to block me rather fill mine)
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why can't you be nice to someone regardless of what you think of them or their messages/profile? Do you feel you can't tell the truth unless you say it in a nasty way?
Like i said, it's the first thought that pops in my head. And yeah it probably is nasty but that's how i am i guess.
Am looking at synonyms for ugly right now, think i can actually do this. Quite liking the word disagreeable as a response?
You don't have to say you're unattractive to me. You could say you aren't my type facially? What do men say to you when they don't find you attractive?
They don't tell me either, i think many people have trouble being upfront about how they really feel because we have been brought up to have manners and know people don't like rejection? I think it's actually weird that guys ask to be rejected if i'm honest about this.
Unless they've specifically asked for your opinion on their looks or want you to rate them on a scale of attractiveness from 1-10 I don't see why you need to tell them you find them ugly? Can you not just say 'not what I'm looking for'? Or does it give you some sort of satisfaction to say those things? "
That's actually true. they haven't asked to be rated. Good point.
No i don't like saying this else i would be comfortable saying it to them and not need to make this topic, like i said those are the first thoughts in my head that's all.
Just have to make that transition now from my thoughts to what is the most appropriate response.
Saying not my type isn't really something i'd say because i don't have a type, might just go with the no thanks or continue not saying anything and just deleting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I just say, thank you but sorry not what I'm looking for, hope you have lots of fun on the site.
Often that's replied with a "didn't want to meet fat slag like you anyway"
Ocassionaly get polite response back saying thanks, you too"
Not had a rude response in fact I would say the majority of men have been ace and wished us well ....some females and couple could actually learn from single guys. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh and in real life i would actually be perceived as worse than nasty. I am terrible at hiding my feelings as facial expressions. Hate it when someone asks me something about themselves and i feel a negative response, my best mate usually steps in for me and answers coz she knows i can't do it or do white lies to be 'nice'.
Can't remember what you replied to my message or even what my original message to yoy was 4 months ago but whatever it was your reply worked fine because I know I'm not your type but still feel happy enough to engage in your threads and don't feel overly rejected or anything.
In fact I enjoy reading a lot of your posts, even the ones I don't agree with."
Thanks.
Wish i knew what i said as well.
It's honestly not hard to change on this site. Not many guys leave you feeling like a piece of meat and really are nice and do deserve some kind of response if they want that, so it's still easy to humanise guys and see them as people. But because of the amount of guys who contact me it is easy to just dismiss them, and sometimes feel overwhelmed by them and just not care.
Also, formed some attachments to some guys so this also makes me wanna be ignorant coz i feel a bit like i'm being 'unfaithful' lol, even though there's nothing really there except we see each other often and are affectionate. But, this is the biggie- i am getting my head round this- but probably in a negative way because i am having to look at guys differently and not feel anything for them or care, and ignore my own feelings.
Is kind of easy this casual sex, but not sometimes. |
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"Oh and in real life i would actually be perceived as worse than nasty. I am terrible at hiding my feelings as facial expressions. Hate it when someone asks me something about themselves and i feel a negative response, my best mate usually steps in for me and answers coz she knows i can't do it or do white lies to be 'nice'.
Can't remember what you replied to my message or even what my original message to yoy was 4 months ago but whatever it was your reply worked fine because I know I'm not your type but still feel happy enough to engage in your threads and don't feel overly rejected or anything.
In fact I enjoy reading a lot of your posts, even the ones I don't agree with.
Thanks.
Wish i knew what i said as well.
It's honestly not hard to change on this site. Not many guys leave you feeling like a piece of meat and really are nice and do deserve some kind of response if they want that, so it's still easy to humanise guys and see them as people. But because of the amount of guys who contact me it is easy to just dismiss them, and sometimes feel overwhelmed by them and just not care.
Also, formed some attachments to some guys so this also makes me wanna be ignorant coz i feel a bit like i'm being 'unfaithful' lol, even though there's nothing really there except we see each other often and are affectionate. But, this is the biggie- i am getting my head round this- but probably in a negative way because i am having to look at guys differently and not feel anything for them or care, and ignore my own feelings.
Is kind of easy this casual sex, but not sometimes."
We're all human and it's only natural that both are good and bad emotions get stirred up by this lifestyle.
We just have to remember what we're here for, and that's to have fun and a bit of a laugh. Not to belittle those we feel less attractive nor to find a soap mate for life.
But it is hard sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thanks for all replies.
Got these ideas (yes i nicked them off the internet).
For guys with no pics: "An objection is not a rejection; it is simply a request for more information."
For those with terrible profiles: "There's nothing like rejection to make you do an inventory of yourself."
For those whinging on their status about not getting meets: "I think that you have to believe in your destiny; that you will succeed, you will meet a lot of rejection and it is not always a straight path, there will be detours - so enjoy the view."
Erm anyone 'not my type': "Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering."
Sorted, and may confuse many a guy but whatever.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thanks for all replies.
Got these ideas (yes i nicked them off the internet).
For guys with no pics: "An objection is not a rejection; it is simply a request for more information."
For those with terrible profiles: "There's nothing like rejection to make you do an inventory of yourself."
For those whinging on their status about not getting meets: "I think that you have to believe in your destiny; that you will succeed, you will meet a lot of rejection and it is not always a straight path, there will be detours - so enjoy the view."
Erm anyone 'not my type': "Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering."
Sorted, and may confuse many a guy but whatever.
"
I look forward to any of these appearing in my inbox |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh and in real life i would actually be perceived as worse than nasty. I am terrible at hiding my feelings as facial expressions. Hate it when someone asks me something about themselves and i feel a negative response, my best mate usually steps in for me and answers coz she knows i can't do it or do white lies to be 'nice'.
Can't remember what you replied to my message or even what my original message to yoy was 4 months ago but whatever it was your reply worked fine because I know I'm not your type but still feel happy enough to engage in your threads and don't feel overly rejected or anything.
In fact I enjoy reading a lot of your posts, even the ones I don't agree with.
Thanks.
Wish i knew what i said as well.
It's honestly not hard to change on this site. Not many guys leave you feeling like a piece of meat and really are nice and do deserve some kind of response if they want that, so it's still easy to humanise guys and see them as people. But because of the amount of guys who contact me it is easy to just dismiss them, and sometimes feel overwhelmed by them and just not care.
Also, formed some attachments to some guys so this also makes me wanna be ignorant coz i feel a bit like i'm being 'unfaithful' lol, even though there's nothing really there except we see each other often and are affectionate. But, this is the biggie- i am getting my head round this- but probably in a negative way because i am having to look at guys differently and not feel anything for them or care, and ignore my own feelings.
Is kind of easy this casual sex, but not sometimes.
We're all human and it's only natural that both are good and bad emotions get stirred up by this lifestyle.
We just have to remember what we're here for, and that's to have fun and a bit of a laugh. Not to belittle those we feel less attractive nor to find a soap mate for life.
But it is hard sometimes."
Same here, just want fun. Was having fun, was getting confused, am getting back on track.
Really have appreciated people helping me get my head sorted and replying and giving me ideas. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"OP, I'll send you another message in the near future, when you send the reject I'll let you know if it's better or worse than the last one. LOL"
I'm being tested right now, kind of nervous if i'm honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP, I'll send you another message in the near future, when you send the reject I'll let you know if it's better or worse than the last one. LOL
I'm being tested right now, kind of nervous if i'm honest. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"OP, I'll send you another message in the near future, when you send the reject I'll let you know if it's better or worse than the last one. LOL
I'm being tested right now, kind of nervous if i'm honest.
"
haha thanks though.
gonna go have a shower, i think i've been politely rejected mr, with a no reply? gonna go see if i'm blocked also... |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
I used to reply with a no thanks. But now I just ignore and delete the message, as I realised that once you replied they can now get past all filters you may set in the future, as fab rules state once you have a conversation the filters don't apply any more.
I don't think it's rude at all. If I don't get replies I assume they are not interested and didn't message again. |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
Of all the folk I've rejected (Yep, shock..horror, I do occasionally say no ) with my standard "Thanks for the message and joke. Sorry you're not my type, happy swinging " stock reply, I've only ever had one nasty response. More often I get a message back saying thanks for the reply...those that don't send a joke/face pic I don't bother replying to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
'Thanks not for me. Have fun' Unless yhdy haven't read my profile, sent meca cock pic orvits a crap "how are you' oneliner message and then they just get deleted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I ignore texty/one liners and reject nicely written messages saying that I don't think we're a good fit. I used to point out that I wasn't meeting at the mo, (says on profile), but then I had guys imagining that meant that I'd love to meet them if I had been looking, and sending daily 'meeting yet?' messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Crude/rude messages are deleted without being opened or blocked. Guys who clearly haven't read the profile as to what I'm after(it's very apparent) are blocked or at best ignored without question.
Except when I'm fed up of being harrassed by guys who can't read in which case I may send a one line rebuke as to their inability to read.
Men who have read the profile and those who have made a real effort will always get a simple reply thanking them for their message, but no thanks.
Judging by the above replies, we're all similar. So I guess if guys want a reply, it seems they should read profiles and show respect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
we usually send a polite no thanks message - but message will just get deleted especially if its the second or third one they have sent and theyve not taken notice of us - we do re message people if the message we sent hasnt been read after a week or two - this particularly for single women who must be inundated but if theyve said no we leave them alone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How I see it is you know you aren't being nice,or you wouldn't have posted this thread. You can decide to just block,as other people do or you could use some of the suggestions on here and then block. Regardless of how you see things you still know what you're doing,and that it isn't acceptable to call people ugly or whatever,some people can't differentiate or control themselves. You have identified your problem and want to rectify it,which is a good start |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Thanks for the interest in us but we've decided not to take this further. All the best and hope you find what you are looking for.
x
Like one of other posters said we try to remember to block as it then avoids getting in touch again or us buzzing them by accident. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Crude/rude messages are deleted without being opened or blocked. Guys who clearly haven't read the profile as to what I'm after(it's very apparent) are blocked or at best ignored without question.
Except when I'm fed up of being harrassed by guys who can't read in which case I may send a one line rebuke as to their inability to read.
Men who have read the profile and those who have made a real effort will always get a simple reply thanking them for their message, but no thanks.
Judging by the above replies, we're all similar. So I guess if guys want a reply, it seems they should read profiles and show respect. "
Same here, it's not hard to spend a few minutes reading a profile |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thanks for all the replies. I have a very overfull inbox, gonna test out some techniques mentioned.
For everyone saying block, my blocklist is broken and people come off it.
To add to this stress also some guys are making new profiles to get in touch. These guys will be reported, and have been so far. |
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"Anyone who doesn't attach a face pic, or who obviously haven't read my profile, gets ignored. Anyone who has read my profile but doesn't grab me gets a 'thanks but no.' Any follow up messages get ignored."
Exactly the same for us, when we politley decline we always put Happy Swinging at the end and fortunatly have never had a problem.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A block is the simplest and least painful tool at your disposal."
I had a FFM with a friend and a female from here on Saturday at a party, when I went to verify her Monday, I found out she blocked me 6 months ago.....you just never know until you meet someone if you are truly their type..or not |
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"Thanks for all the replies. I have a very overfull inbox, gonna test out some techniques mentioned.
For everyone saying block, my blocklist is broken and people come off it.
To add to this stress also some guys are making new profiles to get in touch. These guys will be reported, and have been so far."
I have had the same problem but mine was i was chatting to a guy but then he saw his arse as i never replied back straight away to his last message. He got a friend on here to start messaging me to check up on me. This morning i got a message from him saying " Is see your messaging guys on fab but havent replied to my message you fucking slag"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
^ this.
im a dude therefore i send a lot of messages and dont get a lot of responses - thats fine.
some are polite and say no thanks and thats cool too. what i think though is that if you read a message and know its not your thing, delete it - we can see its deleted and that kinda tells us what we need to know.
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Depends on their approach...
A properly worded message gets a polite thanks but no thanks.*
A single word or short sentence message gets a delete and block.*
An unpalatable face pic attached to a message gets no response.
*Not applicable if they are attractive |
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"I never know how to politely reject people on here, so often ignore or block.
Tbh i don't have time to reply to everyone anyway, and many guys i don't want to reject, but for the sake of appeasing those who think it's rude to ignore how do you tell someone their message was shit, boring or crude or you think they're ugly, but in polite terms?"
We just say it`s a polite decline for us |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"Thanks for all the replies. I have a very overfull inbox, gonna test out some techniques mentioned.
For everyone saying block, my blocklist is broken and people come off it.
To add to this stress also some guys are making new profiles to get in touch. These guys will be reported, and have been so far.
I have had the same problem but mine was i was chatting to a guy but then he saw his arse as i never replied back straight away to his last message. He got a friend on here to start messaging me to check up on me. This morning i got a message from him saying " Is see your messaging guys on fab but havent replied to my message you fucking slag"
"
Goodness, what a charmer! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I just say "you're not my type" I got abuse on a dating site earlier tonight telling me it was his loss and to fix my teeth
I typed his username from that dating site and found him on here too  |
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