FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How do you verify?
How do you verify?
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By *LCC OP Couple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
Hi Guys,
I was wondering what methods you have of verifying before a meet? As people can get their hands on so many photos these days so easily, its hard to tell by photo, and anybody and type anything so text doesn't help.
I think a photo of the couple, with 3 randomly selected things chosen by the other party in a particular room is quite a solid way. For example, "please take a picture of both of you holding washing up liquid, a shoe and some toothpaste in your kitchen" would be pretty hard to fake.
What do you guys think? What methods do you chose to verify before a meet?
Thanks  |
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By *LCC OP Couple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
Im trying not so sound like a dickhead, and genuinely want to try and understand that alternative view point so please can you explain it to me?
I think if you want to sleep with my wife, you can at least prove that you are real by taking one little picture. Also, if I have to take a funny photo to prove I am genuine and as a result I get to have fun times with a sexy woman, why wouldn't I want to prove it? |
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" For example, "please take a picture of both of you holding washing up liquid, a shoe and some toothpaste in your kitchen" would be pretty hard to fake.
"
I think that's the quick way to get ignored lmao. |
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By *LCC OP Couple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"Photo verification flag...or am I being naive?"
I have read that some people have been on here for ages, and engage in lots of meets, but chose not to verify. Should I only talk to people who have been verified on here?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Could you not read the verifications on their profile?
Unless they are not verified, obviously.
I can't imagine many couples wanting to be performing seals. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't verify or ask anyone else to. Only had a couple of let downs, one was obviously older than his pics and the other wasn't as good looking as his pics.
Would never arrange a repeat meet with these people. But yeah if you don't meet regularly then i could see why you'd feel a need to verify people coz time is precious.
I think i'd ask to skype with them. |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
If you want to verify in that way then ask for cam or Skype...wouldn't work with everyone (e.g. I do neither of those) but if you're ok to move onto the next profile if refused then it should be all good eventually. I personally wouldn't take photos on request, but would expect a phone chat with at least the fem, pref both if looking to meet a couple, however I'm aware that some folk don't want phone chats, in which case I don't contact them  |
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By *LCC OP Couple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"Why not arrange a social with all three of you first?
Because sometimes people that we like are very far away, too far for a purely social first.
Can I ask what your concern is? "
Just trying to -out the time wasters and the liars  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We let our verifications speak for themselves and won't jump through hoops for people, we use our gut instinct and if meeting people from a long distance away meet in a club and then if they don't turn up always other people to play with |
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"Im trying not so sound like a dickhead, and genuinely want to try and understand that alternative view point so please can you explain it to me?
I think if you want to sleep with my wife, you can at least prove that you are real by taking one little picture. Also, if I have to take a funny photo to prove I am genuine and as a result I get to have fun times with a sexy woman, why wouldn't I want to prove it?"
As pretty as your wife is, if you requested such a thing from me, I would tell you to take a running jump. Perhaps you might find others desperate enough to do as asked, I would however wonder why they were so desperate.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I did that once when I was talking to a man on a Facebook app. He looked too good to be true so I asked for a pic of him holding up 3 specific fingers. I also asked a man from here for a pic blowing me a kiss. Both looked too good to be true,both were really them. Neither questioned my request |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im trying not so sound like a dickhead, and genuinely want to try and understand that alternative view point so please can you explain it to me?
I think if you want to sleep with my wife, you can at least prove that you are real by taking one little picture. Also, if I have to take a funny photo to prove I am genuine and as a result I get to have fun times with a sexy woman, why wouldn't I want to prove it?
As pretty as your wife is, if you requested such a thing from me, I would tell you to take a running jump. Perhaps you might find others desperate enough to do as asked, I would however wonder why they were so desperate. "
I don't see it as desperation. With the amount of fake timewasters on here it's quite a simple way if verifying you are who you say you are. Doesn't prove you will turn up though |
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"Photo verification flag...or am I being naive?
I have read that some people have been on here for ages, and engage in lots of meets, but chose not to verify. Should I only talk to people who have been verified on here? "
I wouldn't say that but if they are photo verified at least it's an indication they are genuine ... If not then you need another filter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
I think being sensible,using your instinct,maybe camming or speaking on the phone helps
Mostly you get a 'feel' for people that you want to meet
I don't jump through hoops for anyone nor do I expect people to jump through hoops for me,I was declined a party invite recently because I won't show my verifications,thats fine,I shall go elsewhere instead,I don't feel I have to prove myself to please anyone else
If people are so cynical and untrusting about each other on here no one would meet up at all,and even if they tick all your checks they still might not turn up on the day |
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"Photo verification flag...or am I being naive?"
This^^
On another site, when we were very naïve, we set up half a dozen meets and struck out every single time.
On here, non-photo-verified people don't even register on our radar, and we always ask for a number for a fem-2-fem call. As a result we have never been let-down (though we are still surprised when they turn up, and I'm still shocked when they stay, having seen us in the flesh!)
Afraid all the rest sounds a bit controlling for us, as if half-way through the meet you'd go "okay, now shag my wife, but balance this ball on your nose and clap your hands while you do it"
Mr ddc |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
We will only meet someone if they will take a picture of themselves stood outside their local police station wearing a sandwich board with the word 'SWINGER' painted on it in big red letters.
Oh, and waving a flag with today's date.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
What methods do you chose to verify before a meet?
None, frankly this is ridiculous. If you arn't sure after some mails and maybe a phone chat, perhaps this isn't the life for you."
Ffs because they are cautious it perhaps isn't the life for them. What a load of rubbish.
We normally have a chat on here or kik get face pics then meet for a social. Not had a problem with it so far and been here on and off about 3 years now. we wouldn't do the pic thing for a meet though as we are verified in person and veverifed off going to a club numerous times so dont think we need to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Probably best to follow your gut instincts. If a member seems too good to be true, risk assuming that it probably is.
I just busted another fake troll account momments ago myself. LOL. Thank goodness for 'picture auto-delete after message reading', it's easier to flush out the fakers now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our verifications prove there are two of us so I don't understand why we would have to prove it again. Unless you think we have bribed, coerced, or in any other way persuaded everyone we've met to lie when they verified us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can understand your caution, but I think you're asking too much of people. No one wants to be caught out by a fake, have their time wasted etc, but sometimes you've just got to take the plunge!
Perhaps you could look for people who have been verified by real meets? The more you use the site the more finely tuned your spider senses become until you can spot a bullshitter off a mile. Face pics, phone calls and asking for a social meet only are all good ways to out the fuckwits, but nothing is full proof. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hi guys what a lovely couple im sorry (so far) abt all the negative remarks your getting. but your newbies on here still and youll soon realise that its entirely your right to ask for a fool proof veri before a meet is confirmed. you stick to what suits you guys if others dnt like your ideas their loss. from what i see your a nice couple who are being slated by the same people who dont like single guys either!
If your wife was a bi single i think youd see the same people offering all manner of advice and help! good luck to you guys "
A bit of a generalization lol. We like single guys! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hi guys what a lovely couple im sorry (so far) abt all the negative remarks your getting. but your newbies on here still and youll soon realise that its entirely your right to ask for a fool proof veri before a meet is confirmed. you stick to what suits you guys if others dnt like your ideas their loss. from what i see your a nice couple who are being slated by the same people who dont like single guys either!
If your wife was a bi single i think youd see the same people offering all manner of advice and help! good luck to you guys "
That's great advice but it's a sure way to diminish there chances of getting meets and how do you know all the people are not looking for single guys and what has personal choice got to do with it anyway ?? |
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By *LCC OP Couple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
Hi guys,
Thanks for the responses. To be clear I was mainly talking about people who have not been verified by photo (as some people don't want to) or are new to the site and haven't been verified by others yet.
If you have loads of verifications from others then I wouldn't be worried, but if you are chatting to someone who might be 100+ miles away then you can't really do a social.
We are new to this and don't want to be messed around, or be sending photos and messages to people who aren't what they say they are, that's all. I had assumed that their might be other people in the same boat, but I guess there aren't many.
If the verified people stay away from the non-verified people, how will the new but genuine people on the site ever get verified? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi guys,
Thanks for the responses. To be clear I was mainly talking about people who have not been verified by photo (as some people don't want to) or are new to the site and haven't been verified by others yet.
If you have loads of verifications from others then I wouldn't be worried, but if you are chatting to someone who might be 100+ miles away then you can't really do a social.
We are new to this and don't want to be messed around, or be sending photos and messages to people who aren't what they say they are, that's all. I had assumed that their might be other people in the same boat, but I guess there aren't many.
If the verified people stay away from the non-verified people, how will the new but genuine people on the site ever get verified?"
A really good way of getting verified is to attend clubs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi Guys,
I was wondering what methods you have of verifying before a meet? As people can get their hands on so many photos these days so easily, its hard to tell by photo, and anybody and type anything so text doesn't help.
I think a photo of the couple, with 3 randomly selected things chosen by the other party in a particular room is quite a solid way. For example, "please take a picture of both of you holding washing up liquid, a shoe and some toothpaste in your kitchen" would be pretty hard to fake.
What do you guys think? What methods do you chose to verify before a meet?
Thanks "
If anyone asked me to do that i would block them asap as i would think they were crazy lol |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"Hi Guys,
I was wondering what methods you have of verifying before a meet? As people can get their hands on so many photos these days so easily, its hard to tell by photo, and anybody and type anything so text doesn't help.
I think a photo of the couple, with 3 randomly selected things chosen by the other party in a particular room is quite a solid way. For example, "please take a picture of both of you holding washing up liquid, a shoe and some toothpaste in your kitchen" would be pretty hard to fake.
What do you guys think? What methods do you chose to verify before a meet?
Thanks "
I insist on a conversation on Skype webcam. It is not just to verify that a couple is indeed a couple and a female is indeed female but also to see if we find each other attractive enough to warrant a meeting
Otherwise, I just arrange to meet people in clubs. That way the evening is not completely wasted if they are not who they say they are or there is no attraction |
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"Hi Guys,
I was wondering what methods you have of verifying before a meet? As people can get their hands on so many photos these days so easily, its hard to tell by photo, and anybody and type anything so text doesn't help.
I think a photo of the couple, with 3 randomly selected things chosen by the other party in a particular room is quite a solid way. For example, "please take a picture of both of you holding washing up liquid, a shoe and some toothpaste in your kitchen" would be pretty hard to fake.
What do you guys think? What methods do you chose to verify before a meet?
Thanks "
A phone call is enough for me or a chat on cam I can tell if I will like someone from that. granted they may not look like their photo but I initially meet for face to face chat and then make a decision. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Will wade in here
You picking people miles away with no verifications have you thought maybe there is a reason for that?
If someone had been on fab for more than 2 months and has no verifications, it's a fake, a dreamer, nor ever gonna meet or the worst one of all, people who meet but don't verify the meets because of some kind of moral high ground, which is totally unfair and time easing for other people
Stick to local verified people, simple,bye x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't know why people are getting so snappy about this. I wouldn't have a problem taking a requested photo and would expect the same. That way you know the photo isn't old or not really them. This would be the route I'd go down with someone who wasn't able to Skype. I've been stood up by too many fakes before I'm not taking any chances! Those who won't do this simple ask don't get a meet. Simple! |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"I don't know why people are getting so snappy about this. I wouldn't have a problem taking a requested photo and would expect the same. That way you know the photo isn't old or not really them. This would be the route I'd go down with someone who wasn't able to Skype. I've been stood up by too many fakes before I'm not taking any chances! Those who won't do this simple ask don't get a meet. Simple!"
i don't think it is people being snappy as such... but what it does show is that certain actions can have certain consequences beyond what the original person imagined...
make people jump thru hoops... some will do it.... other will tell them where to go!
I'm very much in the "tell them where they can shove it" camp....
there is no right or wrong way to deter or avoid timewasters... but i like to think I am by now in my "big boy adulthood" a fair good judge.... in that I talk to people, phone calls if needed, cam if needed, and if something doesn't feel right then i don't meet until it does......
call it my "checks and balances"... if there are red flags, then i keep going thru them until they aren't there.... if they remain there... i won't meet!! |
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By *LCC OP Couple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"Will wade in here
You picking people miles away with no verifications have you thought maybe there is a reason for that?
If someone had been on fab for more than 2 months and has no verifications, it's a fake, a dreamer, nor ever gonna meet or the worst one of all, people who meet but don't verify the meets because of some kind of moral high ground, which is totally unfair and time easing for other people
Stick to local verified people, simple,bye x"
Because some of the people that take our eye are far away.
Also there is a terrible problem with people local to me. They friend you, meet you, are pleasant to you, You verify each other, but then if you don't want to play with them (even when they don't even match what you state you are looking for) they un-friend you, block you, and then get all the other local couples to do the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Will wade in here
You picking people miles away with no verifications have you thought maybe there is a reason for that?
If someone had been on fab for more than 2 months and has no verifications, it's a fake, a dreamer, nor ever gonna meet or the worst one of all, people who meet but don't verify the meets because of some kind of moral high ground, which is totally unfair and time easing for other people
Stick to local verified people, simple,bye x
Because some of the people that take our eye are far away.
Also there is a terrible problem with people local to me. They friend you, meet you, are pleasant to you, You verify each other, but then if you don't want to play with them (even when they don't even match what you state you are looking for) they un-friend you, block you, and then get all the other local couples to do the same."
Perhaps some people have tried to help you and you've thrown it back in their faces, your profile should be a single guy profile we think, I think people may have blocked you over some of your inappropriate friends maybe! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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why would they get all other locals to do the same - we certainly wouldnt tske anybody elses opinion of a person from someone else - we decide for ourselves |
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