FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > choosing guys for mmf
choosing guys for mmf
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Depends what you're looking for but check how old their pics are and what experience they have. Some people say anything to get a meet.
If it sounds suss try someone else. There are good guys out there you just have to find them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Speaking as a guy. Look for verified experiences with other couples . Look at the profiles of the other couples too as a kind of back up verification. Are they similar in outlook to you etc? (Eg. any cuckold or bi play involved etc. if thats what you also seek).
A bit of prior research saves wasted time in email ping pong with the wrong mans. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Speaking as a guy. Look for verified experiences with other couples . Look at the profiles of the other couples too as a kind of back up verification. Are they similar in outlook to you etc? (Eg. any cuckold or bi play involved etc. if thats what you also seek).
A bit of prior research saves wasted time in email ping pong with the wrong mans."
Spot on  |
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"Speaking as a guy. Look for verified experiences with other couples . Look at the profiles of the other couples too as a kind of back up verification. Are they similar in outlook to you etc? (Eg. any cuckold or bi play involved etc. if thats what you also seek).
A bit of prior research saves wasted time in email ping pong with the wrong mans.
Spot on "
as a single male who has been chosen for mmf by a couple of couples, I couldn't agree more |
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"Speaking as a guy. Look for verified experiences with other couples . Look at the profiles of the other couples too as a kind of back up verification. Are they similar in outlook to you etc? (Eg. any cuckold or bi play involved etc. if thats what you also seek).
A bit of prior research saves wasted time in email ping pong with the wrong mans.
Spot on
as a single male who has been chosen for mmf by a couple of couples, I couldn't agree more"
Gets a thumbs up from me as well
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"Hi...we are still new to this so just wanted advice from couples on choosing the right guy for a mmf...any help appreciated x"
. Use the search facility and enter your age preferences etc. Eliminate poorly written profiles and those with no pictures unless you have already eliminated those when searching .As you would expect members to have other interests outside fab , eliminate those with no hobbies or interests . You will be left with lots of results , so maybe search again to find those who are closest to you. Use common sense to ensure that all the information in the profile stacks up. Contact your potential meet and request a phone number in order that you can assess their attitude and check out the profile information . Verifications can be meaningless as they all usually say the same thing , and if you had a really good meet , why would you ask someone to write what is in effect a reference
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hi from a female point of view, we enjoy a mmf and always pick a guy that suit us both which is not as easy as it sound, but hay you have a full pond it pick from , take your time and make sure he's the one..Connie x  |
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By *idsAndyMan
over a year ago
Worcestershire |
"Speaking as a guy. Look for verified experiences with other couples . Look at the profiles of the other couples too as a kind of back up verification. Are they similar in outlook to you etc? (Eg. any cuckold or bi play involved etc. if thats what you also seek).
A bit of prior research saves wasted time in email ping pong with the wrong mans.
Spot on
as a single male who has been chosen for mmf by a couple of couples, I couldn't agree more
Gets a thumbs up from me as well
"
Plus one more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First as your profile says the male is straight are you really looking for a Bi guy to join you?
For our last 2 MFMs neither of the guys were verified, we picked them for there profile, and after chatting, meet for a social. when off and chatted for a couple of days, then invited them to ours :-0 |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
Perhaps the best way of meeting a single guy is to visit a club. There is plenty of opportunity there to socialise and chat without any pressure - and you will always find one (or more!) willing to play. |
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We can usually tell from their profile and the quality of messages if it's someone we'd like to meet.
Single sentence messages and lots of inane questions being batted back and forth generally don't fill us with confidence.
Lots of chat/messaging beforehand has always been our screening process. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Take your time, you bothr need to have a connection with him... make sure you have common intetests other than fab..... Finding a single male is not as easy as you would think...... |
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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago
Nr Manchester |
"Perhaps the best way of meeting a single guy is to visit a club. There is plenty of opportunity there to socialise and chat without any pressure - and you will always find one (or more!) willing to play. "
^^^ This  |
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Chatting on fab is all good and well.
Sooner or later you,ll need to meet face to face it,s the only sure way.
Then you know for sure who your dealing with and not a fake, time waster.
Just a social, can brief a quick coffee or a relaxed meal.
Remember that single guy only has si much patience to you know, so a year sounds rather long time to me. |
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"Perhaps the best way of meeting a single guy is to visit a club. There is plenty of opportunity there to socialise and chat without any pressure - and you will always find one (or more!) willing to play. "
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A track record is important. Something I would be interested in but when asked I have always said that I cannot guarantee I would perform as never had this experience before.
I am honest about it as I am not sure I would be happy to cross swords.
I suppose I will have to bite the bullet one day  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi...we are still new to this so just wanted advice from couples on choosing the right guy for a mmf...any help appreciated x"
Write the names down and pick them out of a hat
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We can usually tell from their profile and the quality of messages if it's someone we'd like to meet.
Single sentence messages and lots of inane questions being batted back and forth generally don't fill us with confidence.
Lots of chat/messaging beforehand has always been our screening process. "
This
It is however a lot harder than you would believe as you have to eliminate the Unlos dreamers from the ones who are serious.
We adopt the hunter approach now rather than advertise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We adopt the hunter approach now rather than advertise. "
crazysexycool - with the hunter approach, what is the key thing which catches your eye first of all in a profile? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We can usually tell from their profile and the quality of messages if it's someone we'd like to meet.
Single sentence messages and lots of inane questions being batted back and forth generally don't fill us with confidence.
Lots of chat/messaging beforehand has always been our screening process.
This
It is however a lot harder than you would believe as you have to eliminate the Unlos dreamers from the ones who are serious.
We adopt the hunter approach now rather than advertise. "
Posing as prey |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having been chosen to play with couples in the same situation you are looking for, from my experience, messages were exchanged, a social meet before thinking about playing.
Look at verifications, see how many couples have verified, some men are unable to perform in front of others, check the scenarios, were they similar to what you are looking for.
Find someone you are both comfortable with. Someone you can laugh with, sometimes things go laughably wrong.
Above all, find someone who knows that no, means no! If you change your minds, for whatever reason, he will need to respect your wishes.
It doesn't have to happen overnight, be prepared to wait for the right person. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"All well and good talking about experience but everyone has had to start somewhere. "
absolutely... but rather than jumping in with two feet which seems to be the norm now, i dipped in a toe... i did my research, i got a feel for the website and all the tools that could possibly help me.... I looked at the mistakes others made, took in the good bits, swore i would never do the bad....
so i chatted to people, i went to socials and actually met people so they knew me, and kept me in mind for other things.....
and so on and so on....
the site is just one part of the jigsaw... the problem is some think its the be all and end all...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The problem is that if you are not interested in very experienced women/couples who have lots of verification/feedback, then you are pretty much stuck. This is because if you start talking with someone with no verifications in many cases they could appear to be fakes just enjoying themselves. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"The problem is that if you are not interested in very experienced women/couples who have lots of verification/feedback, then you are pretty much stuck. "
but now you are casting aspirations based of what you may not know...
So how many verifications is too many?
over what period of time?
does it matter if the verifications are social for example, rather than play?
do they all count the same in your eyes?
so whats the right amount in the world of "charming lover" |
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Have a social meet.it's essential you all get along and know any boundaries. He could sound perfect, look perfect but when you meet you may not click. Oh and make sure it's fun for all, have a laugh, it's all about the fun.  |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"Have a social meet.it's essential you all get along and know any boundaries. He could sound perfect, look perfect but when you meet you may not click. Oh and make sure it's fun for all, have a laugh, it's all about the fun. "
The different approaches are really interesting. We find the last thing we want is a social meet - guess it's why we prefer clubs where we can just get down to the no strings sex. We have never been disappointed as the men always seem very keen to please. However we do agree entirely that it has to be fun for all concerned. |
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"Have a social meet.it's essential you all get along and know any boundaries. He could sound perfect, look perfect but when you meet you may not click. Oh and make sure it's fun for all, have a laugh, it's all about the fun.
The different approaches are really interesting. We find the last thing we want is a social meet - guess it's why we prefer clubs where we can just get down to the no strings sex. We have never been disappointed as the men always seem very keen to please. However we do agree entirely that it has to be fun for all concerned."
When Kim meets single guys for MMF fun she usually asks friends who tell her about guys they have met etc, we have made some really good friends over the years that not only swing with us but are also studs in a lot of our films. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wouldn't consider such without actually getting to know them really. Prefer couple play as any dynamic of play can be fulfilled
However, and only on the off chance that we happened to bump into a guy at a club whom we get on with and by chance have had the opportunity to get to know, then we would possibly want to have a play.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot of good advice on here but like all situations how it turns out depends on the meet.
You will be very lucky if on your first mfm you find the perfect guy. We have had quite a few mfm and mmfm meets and now know 2 or 3 guys that we like and who can ensure Kat is well satisfied.
So don't be put off if the first meet is not what you wanted or get all stary eyed because it went well.  |
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"We are thinking about having our first mmf but are finding it very difficult to find the right man "
Looking the way you do i find that hard to believe, Kim usually meets guys at clubs,shoots or word of mouth etc.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are thinking about having our first mmf but are finding it very difficult to find the right man "
on your profile it says no single men maybe alter that? |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"We are thinking about having our first mmf but are finding it very difficult to find the right man on your profile it says no single men maybe alter that?"
or maybe they are wanting to do the choosing as opposed to every chancer messaging them.... in which case keep it
we always encourage people that if they are after someone specific... be to hunters and do the chasing |
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"We are thinking about having our first mmf but are finding it very difficult to find the right man
Looking the way you do i find that hard to believe, Kim usually meets guys at clubs,shoots or word of mouth etc.
"
Thank you
Clubs and single guys not for us as we'd like a social first when it comes to single guys |
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"We are thinking about having our first mmf but are finding it very difficult to find the right man on your profile it says no single men maybe alter that?
or maybe they are wanting to do the choosing as opposed to every chancer messaging them.... in which case keep it
we always encourage people that if they are after someone specific... be to hunters and do the chasing"
That's just what we were thinking |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
Thank you
Clubs and single guys not for us as we'd like a social first when it comes to single guys"
and who says that you can't just talk to guys in a club?
just because you are at a club you are not oblieged to play with everyone as soon as you get in..... if men are prepared to talk to get to know you, they aren't for you full stop.. that isn't venue dependant!
its like a little mindset adjustment is needed in perception to clubs, in that they are no different to any other setting in that if you want to get to know people.... you can get to know people! |
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Thank you
Clubs and single guys not for us as we'd like a social first when it comes to single guys
and who says that you can't just talk to guys in a club?
just because you are at a club you are not oblieged to play with everyone as soon as you get in..... if men are prepared to talk to get to know you, they aren't for you full stop.. that isn't venue dependant!
its like a little mindset adjustment is needed in perception to clubs, in that they are no different to any other setting in that if you want to get to know people.... you can get to know people!"
Indeed and we do go to clubs regularly but only meet or go with other couples and have witnessed some poor behaviour by single guys following people around in packs, waiting for their opportunity to pounce and think to ourselves are they the type who would be up for just a chat or are they the type we'd want to play with? Not saying all men are like that of course!
That's why we are looking for a social at a pub and seeing where it goes even if that means nothing happens that night and a further date is arranged |
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