FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > What's wrong with a social?

What's wrong with a social?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hi there, I'm fairly new to this site and the swinging scene in general. I have a few friends that have been on the scene for a while and the advice I have been given is have a social first. The problem is that not many people seem prepared to meet for a social before hand, they want to get straight down to business. Is safety not considered important, are we to assume everyone is safe?

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

If you want a social, then potential sexual partners can fuck off if they don't want a social. Your body, your rules. There might be less timewasters and less 'taking one for the team' if people met socially before sex. Swinging, in my view, is a social a well as sexual lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always meet for a social first, if people aren't prepared to do that then it goes no further.

My only exception is distance but then I would have spent a good few months talking on the phone, messaging etc.

Even then I'm under no obligation to take it any further and would only meet where I felt safe and could get to/from by myself.

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS over a year ago

Epsom

"If you want a social, then potential sexual partners can fuck off if they don't want a social. Your body, your rules. There might be less timewasters and less 'taking one for the team' if people met socially before sex. Swinging, in my view, is a social a well as sexual lifestyle. "

this x

All first meets are at venues for me.... Never know who your going to click with so no harm.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have socials first. Those that pester for getting straight down to get told where to go and blocked.

Just set your rules and if people don't want to follow then stuff em! A good meet isn't just about the sex

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Definitely this!!! x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your in control of a meet. Just say in profile "

Social first"

Dnt go or do anything you dnt feel comfortable with.

Mutal place always and if in daytime better!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi there, I'm fairly new to this site and the swinging scene in general. I have a few friends that have been on the scene for a while and the advice I have been given is have a social first. The problem is that not many people seem prepared to meet for a social before hand, they want to get straight down to business. Is safety not considered important, are we to assume everyone is safe?"
Meeting people for us is no pre requisite that we will have sex with them...its purely to establish suitability both ways.....99 percent of swingers must be this way,men who see this solely as as sex site do not get within a mile of us

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always meet for a social first, if people aren't prepared to do that then it goes no further.

My only exception is distance but then I would have spent a good few months talking on the phone, messaging etc.

Even then I'm under no obligation to take it any further and would only meet where I felt safe and could get to/from by myself."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Social always first, I only play if there is a connection

Quality not quantity

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As long as you make it clear that's what you prefer then We don't have a problem with meeting people for a social.

We do find the meet for a social first a little bit tedious as sometimes it's hard to get into a conversation with a complete stranger. so probs would say not for us but doesn't it take all sorts to make a world.

Have fun

xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi there, I'm fairly new to this site and the swinging scene in general. I have a few friends that have been on the scene for a while and the advice I have been given is have a social first. The problem is that not many people seem prepared to meet for a social before hand, they want to get straight down to business. Is safety not considered important, are we to assume everyone is safe?Meeting people for us is no pre requisite that we will have sex with them...its purely to establish suitability both ways.....99 percent of swingers must be this way,men who see this solely as as sex site do not get within a mile of us

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always meet for a social first, if people aren't prepared to do that then it goes no further.

My only exception is distance but then I would have spent a good few months talking on the phone, messaging etc.

Even then I'm under no obligation to take it any further and would only meet where I felt safe and could get to/from by myself."

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By *jandjbCouple over a year ago

Nr Manchester

We meet in clubs, where there is a good social life, a great opportunity to take it further if all agree and if people don't show or don't like us we are at least in a club!

We have even gone as far as meeting people outside the club and taking them in with us (another couple that is).

Him

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just use it as one of your filters. If they won't have a social only meet first, then they're not for you. With any luck, you'll end up meeting people like yourself.

Have fun!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always meet for a social first, if people aren't prepared to do that then it goes no further.

My only exception is distance but then I would have spent a good few months talking on the phone, messaging etc.

Even then I'm under no obligation to take it any further and would only meet where I felt safe and could get to/from by myself.

same here if potential play mates cant be bothered with a social first then their obviously not to bothered to meet us.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple over a year ago

Leicestershire

"Just use it as one of your filters. If they won't have a social only meet first, then they're not for you. With any luck, you'll end up meeting people like yourself.

Have fun!

Nail on the head!

Be pleased, it's another filter that helps you find those you will stand a mich higher chance of finding 'the click' with

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm more than happy to have a social, in fact I prefer to have one as I'd feel bad if the woman wasn't comfortable with me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have never just met and had sex. I always have a social meetup first. If potential people do not like this, tell good goodbye, your rules, your choice if they can't respect that then their loss x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We meet in clubs, where there is a good social life, a great opportunity to take it further if all agree and if people don't show or don't like us we are at least in a club!

We have even gone as far as meeting people outside the club and taking them in with us (another couple that is).

Him"

Isn't this what 'swinging' is all about?

Surely one person meeting another person for a social and then meeting again at a later date to maybe have sex is dating?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We normally meet for a drink and a chat at a pub local to us and if everyone is happy we go back to our place for fun

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the feedback xx

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By *airy_HettyWoman over a year ago

Greater London

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By *o30Woman over a year ago

Lincoln

"I always meet for a social first, if people aren't prepared to do that then it goes no further.

My only exception is distance but then I would have spent a good few months talking on the phone, messaging etc.

This

For me it's very simple, no social no meet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We meet in clubs, where there is a good social life, a great opportunity to take it further if all agree and if people don't show or don't like us we are at least in a club!

We have even gone as far as meeting people outside the club and taking them in with us (another couple that is).

Him

Isn't this what 'swinging' is all about?

Surely one person meeting another person for a social and then meeting again at a later date to maybe have sex is dating?

I don't agree, I'd see it as people being careful, especially the woman and making sure there is a mutual attraction for fun. What if the person is older/larger than in their pics ? Or they haven't had a bath in weeks ?! Too much of a risk for me. Why is it any different to meeting socially in a club then playing if all parties are happy ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For us, a social every time. Photos alone can be misleading as we all know to our cost......I still have shudders when I think of the bloke we met for a social once, in person it was apparent that his profile pic must have been taken when Wham were last on TOPT! !. A social provides an ideal opportunity to get eye to eye, to see the body language and to form chemistry (hopefully!)

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By *eeriseWoman over a year ago

Manchester and that's all you need to know

"I always meet for a social first, if people aren't prepared to do that then it goes no further.

My only exception is distance but then I would have spent a good few months talking on the phone, messaging etc.

Even then I'm under no obligation to take it any further and would only meet where I felt safe and could get to/from by myself."

A few months

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Some of my socials have lasted about 10 minutes before we were all naked

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I find alot of under 30's local men think it dating not understanding what a social is about, even explaining they tend to say have a coffee round my house lol

saying that there are some that know what its about and I met a local 26yr old at a cafe last month and was more than happy to go back to his after as the chemistry was there.I prefer to wait for that type of bloke than the lets just fuck ones, so I would advice be patient there are people that will meet socially

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To keep expectations clear is fairest - a social is perfect for that. How would you know in person if you find them attractive or not.

I've attended socials after messaging some attendees, and their pictures looked better / they looked different in the flesh. So there's nothing wrong with that but it's a valid reason to not play. If people don't like socials then they are not fussy, as there's still a lot of things you can't ascertain from purely online.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The op as a single woman is quite rightly looking for a social first . So would Sabrina if she was on her own for safety etc.....

However , as a couple we prefer not to entertain socials . By the time we have arranged sitters etc a social is the last thing we want .

It's each to their own and there should be no need to judge others .

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By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

If I have not met the people before the

I always say social but that I will be happy to play if there's a connection.

I have met for sex a few times and it has been good, for me i see how it is and take it from there

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The op as a single woman is quite rightly looking for a social first . So would Sabrina if she was on her own for safety etc.....

However , as a couple we prefer not to entertain socials . By the time we have arranged sitters etc a social is the last thing we want .

It's each to their own and there should be no need to judge others .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not convinced that meeting socially first makes it any safer? The person could seem fine socially and may be different when you are alone with them. I don't meet socially first but that is largely down to time limitations and the distance involved in most of my meets. However, I do chat for ages before even agreeing a meet. My most recent meet i was chatting to for 2 years. ..although admittedly they don't all take that long. Everyone has to do what they feel comfortable doing. There is no right it wrong but i get annoyed by those that assume because there is no social I'll just meet anyone. I think I'm probably more wary of who i meet because i don't meet socially.

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Nothing wrong with a social first. If that's what you want that's fine. I insist on it unless there's a distance issue or you've been chatting for a while. Gives you the chance to run a mile if you need to...lol x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We always have a social first.

We find that once the conversation starts to flow they become quite enjoyable.

Even if we have a meet in a pub it's sort of risqué trying to chat. But that's adds to the fun.

We do play on the same night but only if we both feel comfortable

If people can't or don't want a social then simply move on.

As it has been said before. Your body. Your rules x

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By *ornysxcoupleCouple over a year ago

Maldon

"We meet in clubs, where there is a good social life, a great opportunity to take it further if all agree and if people don't show or don't like us we are at least in a club!

We have even gone as far as meeting people outside the club and taking them in with us (another couple that is).

Couldn't agree more, we've been messed about a fair few times on here an have had more swinging fun in clubs than private meets. We never go with the expectations of playing with people but would not pass it up if all were happy an game for fun

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Set your own rules and parameters for meeting.

You don't need to ask others what they do: consider your own safety and well being.

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By *oxesMan over a year ago

Southend, Essex

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't do socials, its a shag first time lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Always social first. It's the only true way for us to know if we want to have fun with them and also a way to check what they look like in the flesh so to speak.

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By *ynecplCouple over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

It's your meet you set the rules, if somebody does not want a social and you do then don't meet.

Not sure a social will make a future meet any safer but it does allow you to check the person out and gives a bit of an indication that they might turn up at any future meet.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Social always first, I only play if there is a connection

Quality not quantity "

Most definitely

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Personally I think a social meet would be sexy.

Delayed satisfaction and all that :p

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews