FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > I wouldn't normally ask in here
I wouldn't normally ask in here
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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But, is there anything I can improve on my profile, I've messaged a fair few peeps in recent months and my messages are getting either deleted or just not replying back, I do only message those who are looking for someone like me I guess, obviously being able to stand out is the key, just can't think of anything I can improve myself so maybe some pointers from you guys? |
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Clear body pics and a clear profile.
I'm guessing from what I read on here that maybe people are guessing (rightly or wrongly) that you are attached and that might be it.
Also it's a huge numbers game, I'm assuming that you aren't a 'wanna fuck' one line message kinda guy. You've had meets recently so you must be doing something right.  |
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By *ipsTeaserCouple
over a year ago
here and there, thereabouts |
There is nothing obvious on your profile that I can see, it is actually one of the better ones out there. The only restriction I saw was travel close to Liverpool which restricted your market but you're messaging people in the area.
Apart from the fact you're a scouser (I say tongue in cheek as a manc  ) you should be ok.
Stick with it, don't use copy paste for your messages and you should strike it lucky
Bugs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Useless place mate. The vast majority of people don't even have a courtesy to reply.
No one is obligated to reply. Read the site FAQ's. "
Yes I do know that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Useless place mate. The vast majority of people don't even have a courtesy to reply.
No one is obligated to reply. Read the site FAQ's. "
It's a matter of courtesy, not obligations. If someone takes time to read a profile, then write a sensible long response, it is only polite to respond back. |
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"Useless place mate. The vast majority of people don't even have a courtesy to reply.
No one is obligated to reply. Read the site FAQ's.
 "
I really don't understand why people get so irritated by it.
If I send out say 20 messages and then logged on later to 20 replies and thought HURRAH... Only to find..
No thanks
No thanks
No thanks
You get the idea.. Why would anyone prefer that??? |
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"Useless place mate. The vast majority of people don't even have a courtesy to reply.
No one is obligated to reply. Read the site FAQ's.
It's a matter of courtesy, not obligations. If someone takes time to read a profile, then write a sensible long response, it is only polite to respond back."
no its not
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Useless place mate. The vast majority of people don't even have a courtesy to reply.
No one is obligated to reply. Read the site FAQ's.
I really don't understand why people get so irritated by it.
"
Probably because you are on the other side: that is, you receive lots of messages due to your sexy looks and gender, you don't have to send messages yourself.  For any guy it's a different story. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Useless place mate. The vast majority of people don't even have a courtesy to reply.
No one is obligated to reply. Read the site FAQ's.
It's a matter of courtesy, not obligations. If someone takes time to read a profile, then write a sensible long response, it is only polite to respond back."
If you got over 100 messages a day with the same one liners or copy and paste messages you wouldn't be able to reply. It's not about manners it's because your message was not good enough or your profile wasn't what they were looking for .. don't take it personally |
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"Useless place mate. The vast majority of people don't even have a courtesy to reply.
No one is obligated to reply. Read the site FAQ's.
It's a matter of courtesy, not obligations. If someone takes time to read a profile, then write a sensible long response, it is only polite to respond back."
So if I put a meet request up and receive say 50 messages as a result I'm supposed to sit and message 49 people to say thanks but no thanks. I do have a life you know!!
I've messaged people before and had no reply. Don't see the problem. |
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"Useless place mate. The vast majority of people don't even have a courtesy to reply.
No one is obligated to reply. Read the site FAQ's.
I really don't understand why people get so irritated by it.
Probably because you are on the other side: that is, you receive lots of messages due to your sexy looks and gender, you don't have to send messages yourself. For any guy it's a different story."
I do send messages myself. No point sitting around waiting for people to come to me when I can search for what I like. And yes often those messages are ignored or deleted.
Anyway.. Sorry for hijacking your thread OP. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you got over 100 messages a day with the same one liners or copy and paste messages you wouldn't be able to reply. "
That I agree with. But my responses are NEVER one liners and NEVER copy/paste. It's actually humour combined with a friendly approach and things I pick from a profile. So it takes a lot of time to construct that, and yet very few people respond back. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Useless place mate. The vast majority of people don't even have a courtesy to reply.
No one is obligated to reply. Read the site FAQ's.
It's a matter of courtesy, not obligations. If someone takes time to read a profile, then write a sensible long response, it is only polite to respond back."
Is it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Useless place mate. The vast majority of people don't even have a courtesy to reply.
No one is obligated to reply. Read the site FAQ's.
It's a matter of courtesy, not obligations. If someone takes time to read a profile, then write a sensible long response, it is only polite to respond back."
Sometimes it's a matter of you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.
Some men on here, not saying you would, on receiving a polite no thank you message will proceed to hound you and then become abusive.
Deleting a message from someone you're not interested in is just easier at times especially when women can get in excess of 100 messages a day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a rule of someone has read our profile and sent a personalised message, we reply. If its clearly a copy/paste or "I've a 8 inch cock" type message it just gets binned.
Bugs"
Respect |
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It reads well to me but I'd rem any hint if negativity and now you've been here 6 months, no need to mention the last time you were here. You always seem to join in well on here, have had some good meets and lovely veris. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But, is there anything I can improve on my profile, I've messaged a fair few peeps in recent months and my messages are getting either deleted or just not replying back, I do only message those who are looking for someone like me I guess, obviously being able to stand out is the key, just can't think of anything I can improve myself so maybe some pointers from you guys?"
Mate, you've got a proper profile. It's just a matter of fact that there are 100s of men and pseudo-men here per every one genuine woman/couple, hence the disbalance. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Useless place mate. The vast majority of people don't even have a courtesy to reply.
No one is obligated to reply. Read the site FAQ's.
It's a matter of courtesy, not obligations. If someone takes time to read a profile, then write a sensible long response, it is only polite to respond back.
Sometimes it's a matter of you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.
Some men on here, not saying you would, on receiving a polite no thank you message will proceed to hound you and then become abusive.
Deleting a message from someone you're not interested in is just easier at times especially when women can get in excess of 100 messages a day"
If my message does get deleted , I block their profile, only so I don't mistakenly contact them again weeks down the line, I'm never abusive, I've had a few abusive ones thrown at me but I just delete and block them.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Useless place mate. The vast majority of people don't even have a courtesy to reply.
No one is obligated to reply. Read the site FAQ's.
It's a matter of courtesy, not obligations. If someone takes time to read a profile, then write a sensible long response, it is only polite to respond back."
I'll never understand this.
If someone calls me a slut, should I say "thanks for your message?", or what about if someone says "I wanna destroy your arse", should I also reply to that?
Stop feeling so entitled and realise you don't deserve anything. People can do whatever they want. It's a luxury having a meet from here, not a necessity. |
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"
most women wouldn't respond to your profile as your pics show nothing at all.. your competing against 100s of other men"
His pics show nothing? Are we looking at the same profile? To me the op's pics show a greqt body and a nice package and if I were closer and meeting I'd certainly reply x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone calls me a slut, should I say "thanks for your message?", or what about if someone says "I wanna destroy your arse", should I also reply to that? "
No of course I am talking about proper responses - they don't get responded to in vast majority of cases either. It's not about abusive or standard messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd tidy up your profile text a little, makes it snappier.
Start with what you can offer & what you are looking for instead of the 'if I'm online, I don't meet instantly, if I wink' sentences. Also you sat you cannot accommodate but further down you say you can.
It maybe just be a numbers game that in your area there are a limited amount of people at the moment.
You could try a club/ social meet, not sure what's in your area?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Useless place mate. The vast majority of people don't even have a courtesy to reply.
No one is obligated to reply. Read the site FAQ's.
It's a matter of courtesy, not obligations. If someone takes time to read a profile, then write a sensible long response, it is only polite to respond back.
I'll never understand this.
If someone calls me a slut, should I say "thanks for your message?", or what about if someone says "I wanna destroy your arse", should I also reply to that?
Stop feeling so entitled and realise you don't deserve anything. People can do whatever they want. It's a luxury having a meet from here, not a necessity. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone calls me a slut, should I say "thanks for your message?", or what about if someone says "I wanna destroy your arse", should I also reply to that?
No of course I am talking about proper responses - they don't get responded to in vast majority of cases either. It's not about abusive or standard messages."
You're overestimating the quality of messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd tidy up your profile text a little, makes it snappier.
Start with what you can offer & what you are looking for instead of the 'if I'm online, I don't meet instantly, if I wink' sentences. Also you sat you cannot accommodate but further down you say you can.
It maybe just be a numbers game that in your area there are a limited amount of people at the moment.
You could try a club/ social meet, not sure what's in your area?
"
Mail me if you would like a social meet miss x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
most women wouldn't respond to your profile as your pics show nothing at all.. your competing against 100s of other men"
He avoids cock pics and has clear torso pics on show.
8/10 cats prefer this if you read these here forums.
What else should he be showing ?
OP I think a combination of your situation, your own restrictions and your sexuality hold you back. Nothing more.
Oh and as Steve says, I too picked up on a line of two that could read negatively. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone calls me a slut, should I say "thanks for your message?", or what about if someone says "I wanna destroy your arse", should I also reply to that?
No of course I am talking about proper responses - they don't get responded to in vast majority of cases either. It's not about abusive or standard messages.
You're overestimating the quality of messages. "
Think you should mail me xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're overestimating the quality of messages. "
Who knows? Everyone has their own understand of what a "good message" is. Some prefer being polite and descriptive (like myself), some rude and some abusive. The fact is, the response rate is very low in any case. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're overestimating the quality of messages.
Who knows? Everyone has their own understand of what a "good message" is. Some prefer being polite and descriptive (like myself), some rude and some abusive. The fact is, the response rate is very low in any case."
After viewing your profile I can see why not many respond as your pics show absolutely nothing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're overestimating the quality of messages.
Who knows? Everyone has their own understand of what a "good message" is. Some prefer being polite and descriptive (like myself), some rude and some abusive. The fact is, the response rate is very low in any case."
Well, I know you as I receive the messages. You say the vast majority aren't replied to, that's because the vast majority include swearing, are aggressive, are insistent or just gross. Compare it to your junk mail in your email, you don't reply to each one to say "thanks, Ocado!"
It doesn't make me not polite to not reply, it's down my judgment. |
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I wouldn't feel entitled to get a response to messages, that's not to say that I think you do either. If people don't respond then I read it as there being no spark/connection, if they respond to say so then fine, if not, that's fine too.
Anyway, feedback...not sure what you're writing in messages but it may not be leading the person to check your profile.
Maybe try and get over some of your personality over in the profile text, it veers towards 'wants' and 'buts' but I'm no expert though and I may be talking bollocks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Compare it to your junk mail in your email, you don't reply to each one to say "thanks, Ocado!"
It doesn't make me not polite to not reply, it's down my judgment. "
Well, it's "thanks Hugo Boss" in my particular case, but I get the point
The bottom line is, I think it is not fair there is such a disbalance between genders. If there were much more women, then most of men messages would have been responded to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But, is there anything I can improve on my profile, I've messaged a fair few peeps in recent months and my messages are getting either deleted or just not replying back, I do only message those who are looking for someone like me I guess, obviously being able to stand out is the key, just can't think of anything I can improve myself so maybe some pointers from you guys?"
To many men on fab that's the problem |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"You're overestimating the quality of messages.
Who knows? Everyone has their own understand of what a "good message" is. Some prefer being polite and descriptive (like myself), some rude and some abusive. The fact is, the response rate is very low in any case."
We often don't even read messages. We check the profile first.
If there's no interest/attraction then no point in reading the message.
And before anyone says that the message may be courteous, well crafted, personal and could even be the greatest message ever written........if it's sent by someone who's put insufficient effort into their profile or is simply not someone we'd ever be interested in then it doesn't matter.
You need to have zero sense of entitlement on Fab - including replies to messages - otherwise frustration and disappointment will ensue.
A |
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By *ipsTeaserCouple
over a year ago
here and there, thereabouts |
As the female half, these are my initial thoughts on your profile.
It's not a bad profile, but It's a little contradictory for me...
Bi but can play straight,can't accom/can travel/ but won't travel.
It also hints at you being attached which of this is the case it would be better to be upfront.
This may not make sense but it feels reading between the lines of your profile is more telling than your actual blurb..
The text reads ok but has a negative air to it, as though you expect to fail rather than try to succeed.
Your pics are great,very yum, and you have some lovely veris.clearly you are doing something right so it may well just be a matter of time, and the right couple hasn't found you yet. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Compare it to your junk mail in your email, you don't reply to each one to say "thanks, Ocado!"
It doesn't make me not polite to not reply, it's down my judgment.
Well, it's "thanks Hugo Boss" in my particular case, but I get the point
The bottom line is, I think it is not fair there is such a disbalance between genders. If there were much more women, then most of men messages would have been responded to."
Fair? 
When has membership of an internet based contact site come with a 'fairness' clause? 
And as I've said a gazillion times before - if there were ten men and a thousand women? If those ten men didn't fit the tastes and preferences of any of the women they'd be no better off.
It's NOT a numbers game!
A |
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"But, is there anything I can improve on my profile, I've messaged a fair few peeps in recent months and my messages are getting either deleted or just not replying back, I do only message those who are looking for someone like me I guess, obviously being able to stand out is the key, just can't think of anything I can improve myself so maybe some pointers from you guys?"
You are obviously doing something right as you have a number of verifications. There are people that have been on here longer than you still waiting for first meet. So I'd say that you aren't doing too badly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've just re read your profile and you don't say further down that you can accommodate, oops!!
Now maybe that's something to do with it, if I skim read a lot of profiles and messages I'm sure others do too. That's why it's important to have a snappy to the point profile and clear message.
Or I need to invest in better glasses! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women respond to good messages, not shit ones. "
I reply to a whole bunch of one liner messages, just because they ask something interesting and seem attractive.
Variation is best. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's a decent profile and pictures actually. You're probably limiting yourself through how restricted your area is...the bit about not travelling to Runcorn or the Wirral. Totally fair enough and I don't travel far either, but this will naturally limit your options. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Compare it to your junk mail in your email, you don't reply to each one to say "thanks, Ocado!"
It doesn't make me not polite to not reply, it's down my judgment.
Well, it's "thanks Hugo Boss" in my particular case, but I get the point
The bottom line is, I think it is not fair there is such a disbalance between genders. If there were much more women, then most of men messages would have been responded to."
To be honest i think your time on fabs would be more enjoyable if you stopped expecting replies and just be content with the few you do receive.
You state your posts are witty and informative the recipient may find it boring or irritating.
For us its not all about the messages we receive we look at everything profile location and mainly whether the mailer has viewed our profile if we are not attracted to all or some of those things we wouldnt reply.
Do not understand why you would feel better receiving 100 no thanks to 100 mails sent i find this logic hard to comprehend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd tidy up your profile text a little, makes it snappier.
Start with what you can offer & what you are looking for instead of the 'if I'm online, I don't meet instantly, if I wink' sentences. Also you sat you cannot accommodate but further down you say you can."
Good advice and I'd agree with that.
OP you messaged me as a result of a forum post and you came across as being polite and non pushy, and you made me laugh which is always a bonus 
As Queen says it may be a numbers game in your area but stick with it and good luck. Oh and you have nice pics  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women respond to good messages, not shit ones.
I reply to a whole bunch of one liner messages, just because they ask something interesting and seem attractive.
Variation is best. "
Looks like you are quite a woman - sexy, beautiful and soft. |
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"Women respond to good messages, not shit ones.
I reply to a whole bunch of one liner messages, just because they ask something interesting and seem attractive.
Variation is best.
Looks like you are quite a
woman - sexy, beautiful and
soft."
Send her a message!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women respond to good messages, not shit ones.
I reply to a whole bunch of one liner messages, just because they ask something interesting and seem attractive.
Variation is best.
Looks like you are quite a
woman - sexy, beautiful and
soft.
Send her a message! "
|
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"If someone calls me a slut, should I say "thanks for your message?", or what about if someone says "I wanna destroy your arse", should I also reply to that?
No of course I am talking about proper responses - they don't get responded to in vast majority of cases either. It's not about abusive or standard messages."
Hmmmm here's my 2p fella from a single guy to a single guy.
If you did receive responses back to every message you sent... the time spent reading the 'no thanks ' messages  could you use that time looking and messaging those that might be interested... rather than reading messages from those who are nt interested....
I know what I'd rather be doing
Op there's loads of threads offering generic profI've advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nobody has to hold a door open for you when they've walked through it. Nobody has to say thank you to you for anything. Nobody has the right to expect assistance and nobody is compelled to offer it.
People choose to do things out of courtesy because they choose to be polite. It is not against any law and certainly not rude to not hold a door open for someone but the people who choose to are often nicer in some ways than the people that dont.
Many on here choose to be polite, many do not (whatever their excuse) that is simply their choice.
Nobody can or should be forced to be polite. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nobody has to hold a door open for you when they've walked through it. Nobody has to say thank you to you for anything. Nobody has the right to expect assistance and nobody is compelled to offer it.
People choose to do things out of courtesy because they choose to be polite. It is not against any law and certainly not rude to not hold a door open for someone but the people who choose to are often nicer in some ways than the people that dont.
Many on here choose to be polite, many do not (whatever their excuse) that is simply their choice.
Nobody can or should be forced to be polite."
But it's not a measure of politeness whether you reply to a message or not. It doesn't make me rude if I ignore a "wanna fuck?" message, it's self preservation. It'd get me down if I had to be courteous to every message. I didn't join here to talk to every man or couple, just those I'm interested in, it's an unfair expectation - whereas holding a door open isn't. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Good advice and I'd agree with that.
OP you messaged me as a result of a forum post and you came across as being polite and non pushy, and you made me laugh which is always a bonus
As Queen says it may be a numbers game in your area but stick with it and good luck. Oh and you have nice pics "
thanks for the compliment, I've updated the text, yes I know it won't appeal to everyone but hopefully it a bit of an improvement to what was there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It doesn't make me rude if I ignore a "wanna fuck?" message, it's self preservation. "
I would have ignored a "wanna fuck" intro message too, irrespective of who it comes from. But if someone reads my profile thoroughly and sends a sensible personal message, I always respond back. I agree it's a matter of personal preference though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your profile is better than some and you've had 10 meets within 6 months, which is quite good going for a male on here. It reads well until I got to the line: 'if I have to cancel, I expect you to understand', was a bit of a blow to the head and maybe what's putting people off. We all know there's going to be times when meets will need to be cancelled (that's life), but that line just comes across that people expecting to meet you, will be expecting you to cancel.
Portia |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your profile is better than some and you've had 10 meets within 6 months, which is quite good going for a male on here. It reads well until I got to the line: 'if I have to cancel, I expect you to understand', was a bit of a blow to the head and maybe what's putting people off. We all know there's going to be times when meets will need to be cancelled (that's life), but that line just comes across that people expecting to meet you, will be expecting you to cancel.
Portia"
I've taken that bit out, thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nobody has to hold a door open for you when they've walked through it. Nobody has to say thank you to you for anything. Nobody has the right to expect assistance and nobody is compelled to offer it.
People choose to do things out of courtesy because they choose to be polite. It is not against any law and certainly not rude to not hold a door open for someone but the people who choose to are often nicer in some ways than the people that dont.
Many on here choose to be polite, many do not (whatever their excuse) that is simply their choice.
Nobody can or should be forced to be polite.
But it's not a measure of politeness whether you reply to a message or not. It doesn't make me rude if I ignore a "wanna fuck?" message, it's self preservation. It'd get me down if I had to be courteous to every message. I didn't join here to talk to every man or couple, just those I'm interested in, it's an unfair expectation - whereas holding a door open isn't. "
I'm not suggesting you have to be courteous to anyone. Many would say holding a door open is an unfair expectation. Call it self preservation, call it saving time, call it what you like. It's a choice.
No one is entitled to politeness and people will always have their reasons for not being polite.
Very few people would expect a polite response to their initial rudeness in any walk of like, so an initial abusive message probably deserves to be ignored in most people's opinion.
That said, if people consider your behaviour to be rude, then that is their valid consideration. You can either choose to accept their opinion or not, that is your choice.
It doesn't change the fact that some people choose to be more polite than others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Good advice and I'd agree with that.
OP you messaged me as a result of a forum post and you came across as being polite and non pushy, and you made me laugh which is always a bonus
As Queen says it may be a numbers game in your area but stick with it and good luck. Oh and you have nice pics
thanks for the compliment, I've updated the text, yes I know it won't appeal to everyone but hopefully it a bit of an improvement to what was there."
You're welcome and the update looks good to me. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op, I haven't read your profile but I have read a number of your posts and to be honest you seem a level headed guy.
My advice is to trust yourself, it's your profile after all and I'd imagine you wouldn't want it to be too generic. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Op, I haven't read your profile but I have read a number of your posts and to be honest you seem a level headed guy.
My advice is to trust yourself, it's your profile after all and I'd imagine you wouldn't want it to be too generic. "
Cheers dude, yeah it is difficult to be different here, one tries though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Clear body pics and a clear profile.
I'm guessing from what I read on here that maybe people are guessing (rightly or wrongly) that you are attached and that might be it.
Also it's a huge numbers game, I'm assuming that you aren't a 'wanna fuck' one line message kinda guy. You've had meets recently so you must be doing something right. "
:
Did you miss the attached comment or you decided to ignore it?
A lot of people make an assumption and you will find that there are a number of people who won't even speak to people who they think are cheating. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Clear body pics and a clear profile.
I'm guessing from what I read on here that maybe people are guessing (rightly or wrongly) that you are attached and that might be it.
Also it's a huge numbers game, I'm assuming that you aren't a 'wanna fuck' one line message kinda guy. You've had meets recently so you must be doing something right. :
Did you miss the attached comment or you decided to ignore it?
A lot of people make an assumption and you will find that there are a number of people who won't even speak to people who they think are cheating."
Yes fully aware of that, also fully aware i'm not the only person on this site "cheating", but people can decide themselves if they want to meet or not, if a profile says "no attached guys" then I wouldn't message them. |
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"Useless place mate. The vast majority of people don't even have a courtesy to reply.
No one is obligated to reply. Read the site FAQ's.
It's a matter of courtesy, not obligations. If someone takes time to read a profile, then write a sensible long response, it is only polite to respond back."
My profile is specific as to the type of man I'm looking for. I clearly state if they don't meet what I'm looking for I won't reply: and I don't!
I read the profile before the message. If they meet what I'm looking for I will always reply even if it's a no thanks.
Never had a nasty reply. |
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"But, is there anything I can improve on my profile, I've messaged a fair few peeps in recent months and my messages are getting either deleted or just not replying back, I do only message those who are looking for someone like me I guess, obviously being able to stand out is the key, just can't think of anything I can improve myself so maybe some pointers from you guys?"
Your profile is fine, you don't "need" all the pics as it's just repetition but, no, a good profile mostly. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"But, is there anything I can improve on my profile, I've messaged a fair few peeps in recent months and my messages are getting either deleted or just not replying back, I do only message those who are looking for someone like me I guess, obviously being able to stand out is the key, just can't think of anything I can improve myself so maybe some pointers from you guys?
Your profile is fine, you don't "need" all the pics as it's just repetition but, no, a good profile mostly."
I've taken two off and will sort some different pics out soon, thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Clear body pics and a clear profile.
I'm guessing from what I read on here that maybe people are guessing (rightly or wrongly) that you are attached and that might be it.
Also it's a huge numbers game, I'm assuming that you aren't a 'wanna fuck' one line message kinda guy. You've had meets recently so you must be doing something right. :
Did you miss the attached comment or you decided to ignore it?
A lot of people make an assumption and you will find that there are a number of people who won't even speak to people who they think are cheating.
Yes fully aware of that, also fully aware i'm not the only person on this site "cheating", but people can decide themselves if they want to meet or not, if a profile says "no attached guys" then I wouldn't message them."
We will say that at least you have shown the decency to be honest about your status. You are right, there are plenty of cheating men and women on here.
Like a lot of people on here we do not condone cheating whatsoever, but as we all know, none of us are perfect enough to openly judge others.
However hard you will find it, you will find what you want in the end.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Clear body pics and a clear profile.
I'm guessing from what I read on here that maybe people are guessing (rightly or wrongly) that you are attached and that might be it.
Also it's a huge numbers game, I'm assuming that you aren't a 'wanna fuck' one line message kinda guy. You've had meets recently so you must be doing something right. :
Did you miss the attached comment or you decided to ignore it?
A lot of people make an assumption and you will find that there are a number of people who won't even speak to people who they think are cheating.
Yes fully aware of that, also fully aware i'm not the only person on this site "cheating", but people can decide themselves if they want to meet or not, if a profile says "no attached guys" then I wouldn't message them.
We will say that at least you have shown the decency to be honest about your status. You are right, there are plenty of cheating men and women on here.
Like a lot of people on here we do not condone cheating whatsoever, but as we all know, none of us are perfect enough to openly judge others.
However hard you will find it, you will find what you want in the end.
Good luck."
Thanks for yours and everybody else's comments, very much appreciated. |
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It used to iretate me at the beginning but not anymore. I delete messages immediately after sending them even to friends. Doing so makes me forget I did my messages are few and far between now i usually pop in to the forums if i see something worth commenting on i do. Every now and then i get a message i read the profile and if they interest me i reply if not i still reply and say no thank you. |
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"Useless place mate. The vast majority of people don't even have a courtesy to reply.
No one is obligated to reply. Read the site FAQ's. "
No one is obligated to hold a door open for you, or give up a seat,ect but they do! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Useless place mate. The vast majority of people don't even have a courtesy to reply.
No one is obligated to reply. Read the site FAQ's.
No one is obligated to hold a door open for you, or give up a seat,ect but they do!"
Some do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
No one is obligated to hold a door open for you, or give up a seat,ect but they do!
Some do.
And those are the polite people, always respected."
You're right, they are indeed the polite people, but sadly they are not always respected. There's many a time I have held a door open for someone who couldn't be bothered to say thank you.
The bottom line is that it doesnt stop me holding the door open for the next person. For polite people, self respect is usually enough. They don't feel the need to hide behind excuses for not being polite. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Useless place mate. The vast majority of people don't even have a courtesy to reply.
Charming? "
Ah, I knew this statement of mine will cause a fair amount of controversion.
I meant messages to some people found when browsing the profiles, and not the actual lovely forum participants (I do love some of you already) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We got no chance op, women have become wayyyy to fussie as more and more single men joins lol
Women are always fussie (rightfully), we do love them."
Yes lol and depends where you live as well, heard the most horney lasses are in north England. |
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"Women respond to good messages, not shit ones. "
Want to give an example of a good message then? We see it as one persons good message is another bad. So making that statement seems inappropriate. We don't always reply, either to couples or to singles. Simple facts for us dictate that if we say we're not going to be meeting for X amount of time then no amount of continuous messages is going to change that. But many can't deal with rejection when they don't get what they want when they want. Goes for couples and single alike |
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"We got no chance op, women have become wayyyy to fussie as more and more single men joins lol
Women are always fussie (rightfully), we do love them.Yes lol and depends where you live as well, heard the most horney lasses are in north England."
Seem to find most of the hung ment seem to be that way too |
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"Women respond to good messages, not shit ones.
Want to give an example of a good message then? We see it as one persons good message is another bad. So making that statement seems inappropriate. We don't always reply, either to couples or to singles. Simple facts for us dictate that if we say we're
not going to be meeting for X amount of
time then no amount of continuous
messages is going to change that. But
many can't deal with rejection when
they don't get what they want when
they want. Goes for couples and single
alike "
I certainly shan't give out one of my examples! obviously, what is good or shit is subjective not objective but the basic underlying premise remains. For the pendants amongst us, assume I meant 'some'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your profile is better than some and you've had 10 meets within 6 months, which is quite good going for a male on here. It reads well until I got to the line: 'if I have to cancel, I expect you to understand', was a bit of a blow to the head and maybe what's putting people off. We all know there's going to be times when meets will need to be cancelled (that's life), but that line just comes across that people expecting to meet you, will be expecting you to cancel.
Portia
I've taken that bit out, thanks"
Reads a lot better now. Good luck!
Portia |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We got no chance op, women have become wayyyy to fussie as more and more single men joins lol
Women are always fussie (rightfully), we do love them.Yes lol and depends where you live as well, heard the most horney lasses are in north England.
Seem to find most of the hung ment seem to be that way too "
Yes, its shame noone are really close lol x. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We got no chance op, women have become wayyyy to fussie as more and more single men joins lol
Women are always fussie (rightfully), we do love them.Yes lol and depends where you live as well, heard the most horney lasses are in north England.
Seem to find most of the hung ment seem to be that way too "
Well, you are in a very good location I think. Personally I am not very far I am sure there are loads of people close as well, it's just a matter of finding someone good enough for you. |
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I can't see any problems with the profile to be honest, better than many on here!
If someone hasn't replied within about half an hour of them last being online then I tend to not expect a reply after that.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think your profile looks good overall, no offensive cock pics, the negative text mentioned earlier in the thread appears to have gone too. You're verified and I've seen you pop op on the forums with good input before.
Haven't seen your messages, but don't take it personally - nobody has to reply and overall it saves some time for those that don't it seems. I have deleted messages, don't even read some due to their content in the first line.
Sure you'll be just fine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But, is there anything I can improve on my profile, I've messaged a fair few peeps in recent months and my messages are getting either deleted or just not replying back, I do only message those who are looking for someone like me I guess, obviously being able to stand out is the key, just can't think of anything I can improve myself so maybe some pointers from you guys?"
You have some really good pics and a well thought out profile. Just get yourself out there -socials/clubs and patience I think. Good luck. |
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