FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Being open
Being open
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Nobody, I think a few may suspect as quite often the subject of swinging comes into conversations when we are out with friends, our private life has nothing to do with anyone and for us I see no gain in people knowing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Were fairly open, if someone asks, we don't deny it. I guess that's the biggest question, how many of you, if asked by friends/family would admit to it? Doesn't mean going into details, just a simple yes or no? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Were fairly open, if someone asks, we don't deny it. I guess that's the biggest question, how many of you, if asked by friends/family would admit to it? Doesn't mean going into details, just a simple yes or no? "
I'm open about it - but in the sense that if someones asks OR I have a reason to tell someone, then I will.
However I'm also a freelance writer and a student, and my family all know I have multiple partners. So it's not like I've really got any reason to hide anything. I also don't date people who have reasons to hide anything - no desire to be someones secret bit on the side. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Nope we're not open. We like to keep our sex lives away from our family and friends. Mostly because some of them are very narrow minded but we prefer it to be our secret  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Totally open....it's part of who I am...don't see why I should hide it or be ashamed."
There's no reason at all for you to be ashamed I don't know why you mention it. Discretion and shame aren't the same. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Bit off topic, but i really regret being open with people actually on the scene, because it has been thrown back in my face....one spiteful woman threatening to tell my neighbours my work etc about me.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Bit off topic, but i really regret being open with people actually on the scene, because it has been thrown back in my face....one spiteful woman threatening to tell my neighbours my work etc about me. "
Nasty!
I hope she doesn't. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Pretty much everyone I know these days....I find I gain a lot of peace of mind and life is a lot more zen if I'm myself with everyone I know......I don't do anything in life that I feel I'd need to hide from anyone. I don't have a job it would threaten though nor do I have children that it may affect so I'm lucky enough to be able to carry a complete openness through life.
If I felt I had to keep a part of myself hidden, I just wouldn't do it...seems odd somehow to me to hide sides of myself but then, perhaps that's just me, I dunno......there are a lot of sides and points to this topic, with very few wrong ones... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
definitely a case of once bitten twice shy.... i will not tell anybody anything personal about myself again and certainly will not be inviting anyone to my home.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I keep it very quiet, I have one friend who knows, but doesn't know the site or any details.
Though I did mention once to my mum, after being called a delinquent for never marrying and not having kids 'that I'm not a nun' That was something I never should have said!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Totally open....it's part of who I am...don't see why I should hide it or be ashamed.
There's no reason at all for you to be ashamed I don't know why you mention it. Discretion and shame aren't the same."
Didn't say I go round broadcasting it...but it isn't something I hide. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
After someone tried to out me at work earlier this year, it's an open secret that I go to unconventional clubs and lead a slightly unorthodox lifestyle. It's not something I flaunt though.
We have a lot of friends on the kink scene where kink is just one facet of the friendship. We are off to a festival with kinky friends next summer, we go to dinner with some... So the lines are blurred anyway. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I operate a 'don't ask if you don't want to know' policy which applies to family, friends and work mates so a few people know and no one is at all bothered  "
I like this!!
As for myself, my work colleagues know, as do some of my family members and a few friends.....I like the poster I've quoted operate a "only ask, if you want to know". I've never going to shove it in people's faces (well not with non-swingers anyway ) but if people ask me then I'm not going to try and change the subject or act embarrassed about it. I am, what I am, accept me for who I am.....not what I choose to do in MY private life |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My profile got outed at a previous place of work so they all know, and it's possible friends and family know off the back of that, but I've only ever spoken about it to the person who told me my profile was a hot lunchtime topic, but she was also on the site with her hubby. Oh and had to confirm I wasn't soliciting customers after a female half of a couple emailed my boss stating that I did, which was a short and awkward conversation. I don't actively tell people intimate details of any aspect of my sex life though so unless I'm asked it's not something I intend to mention to anyone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
As far as we are aware nobody outside of those we meet know and we are not about to start broadcasting it.
Some of our family and friends have very different views to us and would be horrified to know |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
depends who im with - im a very free open minded person and i think that comes across as you get to know me - if a subject of bisexuality for instance came into the convo i say dont knock what you havent tried - not many have questioned me they just nod and say true true lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It seems to me that couples are doing something more extreme than singles, more unconventional. If I was single I couldn't see any real reason why I wouldn't let my friends know about all the fun I might be having. But the decision, as a couple, to let your friends know that you have an unconventional sexual relationship? Firstly very few couples discuss their sex lives with each other anyway, even if they're conventional. Secondly it begs the question... why are you telling us this? Is it a veiled invitation?
I'm not saying we personally intend to hide any of this from our close friends. We probably won't. But I just wanted to hilight that it's possibly a tougher decision to share this side of yourselves for couples than it is for singles imo. Does that sound fair? Or would you disagree? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Who knows u swing, im very open and makes it easier than keeping secrets making excuses."
. I keep my private life and work entirely isolated from anything that I do on fab etc. No one needs to know details of my sex life - should be of no interest to them anyway.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It seems to me that couples are doing something more extreme than singles, more unconventional. If I was single I couldn't see any real reason why I wouldn't let my friends know about all the fun I might be having. But the decision, as a couple, to let your friends know that you have an unconventional sexual relationship? Firstly very few couples discuss their sex lives with each other anyway, even if they're conventional. Secondly it begs the question... why are you telling us this? Is it a veiled invitation?
I'm not saying we personally intend to hide any of this from our close friends. We probably won't. But I just wanted to hilight that it's possibly a tougher decision to share this side of yourselves for couples than it is for singles imo. Does that sound fair? Or would you disagree?"
 Agree. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
"It seems to me that couples are doing something more extreme than singles, more unconventional. If I was single I couldn't see any real reason why I wouldn't let my friends know about all the fun I might be having. But the decision, as a couple, to let your friends know that you have an unconventional sexual relationship? Firstly very few couples discuss their sex lives with each other anyway, even if they're conventional. Secondly it begs the question... why are you telling us this? Is it a veiled invitation?
I'm not saying we personally intend to hide any of this from our close friends. We probably won't. But I just wanted to hilight that it's possibly a tougher decision to share this side of yourselves for couples than it is for singles imo. Does that sound fair? Or would you disagree?"
I don't know about all couples but a fair few that I do know (the female half mostly) will quite readily discuss aspects of their sex life |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It seems to me that couples are doing something more extreme than singles, more unconventional. If I was single I couldn't see any real reason why I wouldn't let my friends know about all the fun I might be having. But the decision, as a couple, to let your friends know that you have an unconventional sexual relationship? Firstly very few couples discuss their sex lives with each other anyway, even if they're conventional. Secondly it begs the question... why are you telling us this? Is it a veiled invitation?
I'm not saying we personally intend to hide any of this from our close friends. We probably won't. But I just wanted to hilight that it's possibly a tougher decision to share this side of yourselves for couples than it is for singles imo. Does that sound fair? Or would you disagree?"
I would disagree. I think a very large number of people I know would frown and possibly disown me if they knew what I was up to which is why I keep my private life very private. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Only one of my work colleagues knows, but she has sworn herself to secrecy. She managed to guess from the fact that I go to a nude beach near where she grew up. I love to tease her with the odd naughty story every now and then..hehehehe. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Who knows u swing, im very open and makes it easier than keeping secrets making excuses."
I'm 54 years old and have a private life. I stopped having to justify my whereabouts when I left home.
I honestly don't get the correlation between being private and discreet as being "wrong" and sharing the minutae of your life with being honest. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Who knows u swing, im very open and makes it easier than keeping secrets making excuses.. I keep my private life and work entirely isolated from anything that I do on fab etc. No one needs to know details of my sex life - should be of no interest to them anyway. "
Think we're in a minority with this view! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Who knows u swing, im very open and makes it easier than keeping secrets making excuses.. I keep my private life and work entirely isolated from anything that I do on fab etc. No one needs to know details of my sex life - should be of no interest to them anyway.
Think we're in a minority with this view! "
I think it's one of the reasons that swingers often have a bad reputation in the eyes of non-swingers. So many seem like Donald and Jackie off Benidorm. Every sentence is about sex, they seem to think everyone wants to know the gory details of their sex lives, no discretion at all.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Who knows u swing, im very open and makes it easier than keeping secrets making excuses.. I keep my private life and work entirely isolated from anything that I do on fab etc. No one needs to know details of my sex life - should be of no interest to them anyway.
Think we're in a minority with this view!
I think it's one of the reasons that swingers often have a bad reputation in the eyes of non-swingers. So many seem like Donald and Jackie off Benidorm. Every sentence is about sex, they seem to think everyone wants to know the gory details of their sex lives, no discretion at all. "
Unfortunately I can see the truth in what you're saying. It seems like alot of people come to swinging via a particular avenue of thinking i.e. I like sex, you like sex, lets have sex with others who also like sex. It can seem a bit 'Benidorm' as you say lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Completely agree with the benidorm idea. Wish it wasn't that way but it is :/ at least if the are some people who realise this then maybe we can all change it's image  with respect to who knows about the swinging only my best mate who doesn't even live on this continent! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
I keep myself to myself anyway and my private life is exactly that, private 