FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > introducing the idea of swinging
introducing the idea of swinging
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I'm sure if I trawled through all the previous pages i'll find something similar but to save time i'll start this thread.
I have recently started seeing someone and would love any advice or tips on how to introduce the idea of swinging into the relationship. I have only ever done this as a single male but I do not want to jeopardise the relationship and certainly won't cheat on her. Any advice you could give of the best way to broach the subject would be appreciated. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Do you think she may be open to the idea or are you going in totally cold? What do you want from a swinging relationship is what you should consider first I think. You could turn her off you,you have to be prepared for this too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
To be honest, if ya only recently started seeing someone, it may be an idear to get to know them better, both generally and sexually. You may find that the natural exploring each other could infact bring such conversations into the flow and going with it ,maybe better than head first blindly into it?
I feel any couple who go into swinging need be tight together and open. Trust and respect for each other and any relationship ya have needs be totaly on point. Dont rush it... Cos if you value a relationship, it cld all go tits up if you do. Know each other first before ya invite others in . Best of Luck  ( mrs ) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You have to ask yourself what is more important swinging or your relationship with your new lady. Only you know the answer. If it's swinging chat to her about fantasies mff/ffm etc. If the relationship is more important then delete your profile and concentrate on her. If you are meant to be together you can always introduce swinging in the future. This has the ability to all go spectacularly wrong if you try to have your cake and eat it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago
North Yorkshire by the Sea |
I think I'd rather a guy mention it early on, be honest about what he ultimately wants from the beginning, and before I'm invested in the relationship. Then I can make an informed decision on if I want to be with him, the real him, rather than he pretending parts don't matter and doing a big reveal months down the line, when I've signed up for dating the 'him' I met in the beginning. Hope that makes sense.
So in that vein, I'd say something like; while I was single, I dabbled a little in joining couples that swing, really enjoyed it, but I'm very happy with you/what we have between just us (if you would be) I just thought I'd be honest n share some of my kinks I've enjoyed in the past in case you wanted to explore that kind thing now or in the future with our sex adventures as a couple.
Or if you do want a gf that swings (and can't be content with just her)
while I was single, I dabbled a little in joining couples that swing, really enjoyed it, and while I'm so happy I've met you and our dating, I think I'd like swinging to be a part of our sex adventures as a couple. I'm happy to start slowly or wait a while, but wanted to be honest with you from the beginning, so you know what I need from a new relationship now
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
All good advice.
We were chatting to a couple in a club, the male half had been a single guy on the scene and wasn't ready to give it up.
He said with new girlfriends he would mention it very early on, within the first 2-3 weeks. Surprisingly he said all but 1 actually gave it a go however it wasn't for them so they went their seperate ways. The partner he was with when we met had been the same scenario only she'd enjoyed it and hence they'd stayed together.
The point being is , if it's that important to you, then be honest. However you need to accept that when you do it could be game over. That being said there are obviously plenty of women out there who are open to the idea.
Good luck.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ipsTeaserCouple
over a year ago
here and there, thereabouts |
"I think I'd rather a guy mention it early on, be honest about what he ultimately wants from the beginning, and before I'm invested in the relationship. Then I can make an informed decision on if I want to be with him, the real him, rather than he pretending parts don't matter and doing a big reveal months down the line, when I've signed up for dating the 'him' I met in the beginning. Hope that makes sense.
So in that vein, I'd say something like; while I was single, I dabbled a little in joining couples that swing, really enjoyed it, but I'm very happy with you/what we have between just us (if you would be) I just thought I'd be honest n share some of my kinks I've enjoyed in the past in case you wanted to explore that kind thing now or in the future with our sex adventures as a couple.
Or if you do want a gf that swings (and can't be content with just her)
while I was single, I dabbled a little in joining couples that swing, really enjoyed it, and while I'm so happy I've met you and our dating, I think I'd like swinging to be a part of our sex adventures as a couple. I'm happy to start slowly or wait a while, but wanted to be honest with you from the beginning, so you know what I need from a new relationship now
"
This seems a really good option.
I'd second wanting to know early on, before either party get too invested, to minimise the hurt that could be caused further down the line.
I also wonder If further down the line you ask her she might feel you've hidden it from her for a long time I would wonder if she would be more likely to focus onwhat she feels you've kept back rather then being open to considering partaking. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How long have you been with her as you've got a very from 7 days ago.... 
Which has suddenly disappeared along with the summary!!  "
I'm staying single forever for this very reason!! Haha!!!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think I'd rather a guy mention it early on, be honest about what he ultimately wants from the beginning, and before I'm invested in the relationship. Then I can make an informed decision on if I want to be with him, the real him, rather than he pretending parts don't matter and doing a big reveal months down the line, when I've signed up for dating the 'him' I met in the beginning. Hope that makes sense.
So in that vein, I'd say something like; while I was single, I dabbled a little in joining couples that swing, really enjoyed it, but I'm very happy with you/what we have between just us (if you would be) I just thought I'd be honest n share some of my kinks I've enjoyed in the past in case you wanted to explore that kind thing now or in the future with our sex adventures as a couple.
Or if you do want a gf that swings (and can't be content with just her)
while I was single, I dabbled a little in joining couples that swing, really enjoyed it, and while I'm so happy I've met you and our dating, I think I'd like swinging to be a part of our sex adventures as a couple. I'm happy to start slowly or wait a while, but wanted to be honest with you from the beginning, so you know what I need from a new relationship now
"
Definitely this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"How long have you been with her as you've got a very from 7 days ago....
Which has suddenly disappeared along with the summary!! "
The veri was a social and I am removing everything as my profile says I'm just here to keep in touch, not interested in meeting |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hmmmm well the cinic in me wonders why you would bother with a social unless it was a prequel to play.... Also and I can't be sure as you removed it but im pretty sure there was a mention of some snogging in that veri too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ha ha ^^^
I love a bit of detective rumbling...
My opinion on the introduction side of thing... (When I get a girlfriend) is suggest a nudist beach to and see how she feels about that and then go together... Maybe play around and see how she reacts to that. And so on... Obviously if she feels uncomfortable to force it! Just keep your feelers out.
That's what I would do I think.
Or.... Perhaps a dogging location...
Its starting at a few basics. Seeing how "open" she allows herself to be. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Its the female of the couple here. And its me that introduced the idea of swinging to my boyfriend. I pretty much blurted it out on our first date. I'd got to the point of thinking that if he was the right one then he wouldnt be fazed by it. And he wasn't.
I was on here previously as a single woman for a few years and met him after leaving the site in january. I've been really open with him and we have talked about it a lot. So back on with a couple profile. We haven't played with anyone else yet but we are off to a club together for the first time next week. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its the female of the couple here. And its me that introduced the idea of swinging to my boyfriend. I pretty much blurted it out on our first date. I'd got to the point of thinking that if he was the right one then he wouldnt be fazed by it. And he wasn't.
I was on here previously as a single woman for a few years and met him after leaving the site in january. I've been really open with him and we have talked about it a lot. So back on with a couple profile. We haven't played with anyone else yet but we are off to a club together for the first time next week. "
Just a little intrigued as to what you blurted out |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To be honest, if ya only recently started seeing someone, it may be an idear to get to know them better, both generally and sexually. You may find that the natural exploring each other could infact bring such conversations into the flow and going with it ,maybe better than head first blindly into it?
I feel any couple who go into swinging need be tight together and open. Trust and respect for each other and any relationship ya have needs be totaly on point. Dont rush it... Cos if you value a relationship, it cld all go tits up if you do. Know each other first before ya invite others in . Best of Luck ( mrs )"
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"To be honest, if ya only recently started seeing someone, it may be an idear to get to know them better, both generally and sexually. You may find that the natural exploring each other could infact bring such conversations into the flow and going with it ,maybe better than head first blindly into it?
I feel any couple who go into swinging need be tight together and open. Trust and respect for each other and any relationship ya have needs be totaly on point. Dont rush it... Cos if you value a relationship, it cld all go tits up if you do. Know each other first before ya invite others in . Best of Luck ( mrs )"
We agree with this entirely - and perhaps if you are unsure how to bring up the subject of swinging as a couple you aren't ready yet for swinging as a couple. Take it steadily. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
To be honest it depends on so many factors.
If I had started seeing someone even with my history of swinging with previous partners and on my own I would wait until I was certain that the relationship was going to make it past all the usual mundane hurdles before throwing "let's fuck other people" into the mix.
Equally if I met someone who I thought would potentially be a life partner but expressed no interest in the lifestyle I certainly wouldn't jeopardise a relationship for the sake of swinging.
The other thing to note is in general the longer I am with someone the more I relax, trust and am open to new experiences with them. So would more likely express a willingness to experiment if I felt secure with man I was with.
Just my opinion but sometimes good things come to those who wait x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
