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What guys get wrong...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am partial to a good hard fuck now and again but I have noticed very frequently that when the guy slips out, he rams it back in again with no thought to lubrication etc. Yes I'm very wet while penetration is going on which is all fine and dandy, but when they slip out, it seems to dry me a little and then when they try to put back in as quickly as possible, they end up causing friction which makes me sore! I'm not saying every time they slip out I want oral to get my juices flowing again, but maybe they could at least make the re-entry gentle before we get back to the furious pounding bit?! |
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"I am partial to a good hard fuck now and again but I have noticed very frequently that when the guy slips out, he rams it back in again with no thought to lubrication etc. Yes I'm very wet while penetration is going on which is all fine and dandy, but when they slip out, it seems to dry me a little and then when they try to put back in as quickly as possible, they end up causing friction which makes me sore! I'm not saying every time they slip out I want oral to get my juices flowing again, but maybe they could at least make the re-entry gentle before we get back to the furious pounding bit?!"
And how will they know this unless you tell them? This may not be true of all women so posting it in a forum wont achieve a lot as far as you're concerned. |
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"I am partial to a good hard fuck now and again but I have noticed very frequently that when the guy slips out, he rams it back in again with no thought to lubrication etc. Yes I'm very wet while penetration is going on which is all fine and dandy, but when they slip out, it seems to dry me a little and then when they try to put back in as quickly as possible, they end up causing friction which makes me sore! I'm not saying every time they slip out I want oral to get my juices flowing again, but maybe they could at least make the re-entry gentle before we get back to the furious pounding bit?!
And how will they know this unless you tell them? This may not be true of all women so posting it in a forum wont achieve a lot as far as you're concerned."
A considerate partner would know these things without having to be told... |
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"I am partial to a good hard fuck now and again but I have noticed very frequently that when the guy slips out, he rams it back in again with no thought to lubrication etc. Yes I'm very wet while penetration is going on which is all fine and dandy, but when they slip out, it seems to dry me a little and then when they try to put back in as quickly as possible, they end up causing friction which makes me sore! I'm not saying every time they slip out I want oral to get my juices flowing again, but maybe they could at least make the re-entry gentle before we get back to the furious pounding bit?!
And how will they know this unless you tell them? This may not be true of all women so posting it in a forum wont achieve a lot as far as you're concerned.
A considerate partner would know these things without having to be told..."
Are you saying that men should know what women want without being told or shown, that a guy should be aware of changes in the sensation that a woman is feeling without her telling him?
And by the same token a woman should know what a man wants or both are inconsiderate?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You guys have made a good point which has been mentioned to me before. I'm not vocal enough about my needs and am so keen to be polite that it's actually doing me harm. A few months ago a guy made a tear in my labia which was about 0.5cm deep and 2cm long because he was being far too rough and even though I was in pain, didn't even mention it until after he'd finished. |
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"You guys have made a good point which has been mentioned to me before. I'm not vocal enough about my needs and am so keen to be polite that it's actually doing me harm. A few months ago a guy made a tear in my labia which was about 0.5cm deep and 2cm long because he was being far too rough and even though I was in pain, didn't even mention it until after he'd finished."
Can I suggest that you stop swinging for a while, get your head in a place that allows you to speak out and then return.
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"You guys have made a good point which has been mentioned to me before. I'm not vocal enough about my needs and am so keen to be polite that it's actually doing me harm. A few months ago a guy made a tear in my labia which was about 0.5cm deep and 2cm long because he was being far too rough and even though I was in pain, didn't even mention it until after he'd finished."
A 2cm long tear! WTF!
Wasn't there - but there must have been some visible sign of either distress or bleeding! How did you not say anything! What do you get out of meets if it's not for your own pleasure?!!?????
Or are you sadistically inclined.. ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think it's my experiences through this that are giving me the encouragement and confidence to speak out more. Since we opened our marriage I've slept with around 10 men and only one of them has made me orgasm. I felt like that was a recent break through. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"I think it's my experiences through this that are giving me the encouragement and confidence to speak out more. Since we opened our marriage I've slept with around 10 men and only one of them has made me orgasm. I felt like that was a recent break through."
you are a couple - what is your partner doing? Clapping along at all of this? Are you doing this for your partners pleasure, or is swinging something you are doing willingly? |
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"You guys have made a good point which has been mentioned to me before. I'm not vocal enough about my needs and am so keen to be polite that it's actually doing me harm. A few months ago a guy made a tear in my labia which was about 0.5cm deep and 2cm long because he was being far too rough and even though I was in pain, didn't even mention it until after he'd finished."
I don't mean to sound harsh but that's your own stupid fault for not speaking out. I would never allow a guy to continue doing something that is causing me pain and discomfort unless a deliberate act to push boundaries.
A guy can not be blamed for your damage or lack of an orgasm if you say nothing |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"You guys have made a good point which has been mentioned to me before. I'm not vocal enough about my needs and am so keen to be polite that it's actually doing me harm. A few months ago a guy made a tear in my labia which was about 0.5cm deep and 2cm long because he was being far too rough and even though I was in pain, didn't even mention it until after he'd finished.
I don't mean to sound harsh but that's your own stupid fault for not speaking out. I would never allow a guy to continue doing something that is causing me pain and discomfort unless a deliberate act to push boundaries.
A guy can not be blamed for your damage or lack of an orgasm if you say nothing"
A guy can definitely be blamed. No reason not to show a little care. Though yes - we dont know what type of play was involved, but I expect it wasn't any kind of D/S play. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It was just meant to be "normal" sex. Deffo a steep and painful learning curve. I'm absolutely not asking for sympathy, it has just got to the point where I'm so sore after sex it's putting me off! My husband was furious at the damage done but even he was frustrated that I didn't speak up so I do take responsibility for my part. |
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"It was just meant to be "normal" sex. Deffo a steep and painful learning curve. I'm absolutely not asking for sympathy, it has just got to the point where I'm so sore after sex it's putting me off! My husband was furious at the damage done but even he was frustrated that I didn't speak up so I do take responsibility for my part. "
If you're sore after sex maybe you need to use lube or get checked for an infection I don't necessarily mean sexually transmitted, thrush, bv or any other common infection can cause soreness. Otherwise as I said before, maybe call a halt to this until you can speak directly to a person.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Could I offer a suggestion for the OP?
Perhaps it would be helpful to arrange a meet with a single man with a specific ground rule agreed beforehand - he is to do absolutely nothing without your instruction. That way you can used get used to being the one in charge and asking for what you want. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Interesting!"
here is a little tip.... so to speak..
men..... we aren't mindreaders!!!
so we will go about our merry way unless you speak up and tell us otherwise...
different people will do different things... some things you'll like... others you wont
so unless you tell them... they will be none the wiser.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How long does it take for the said cock to return to pussy after slipping out? If it happens to me I make sure it's a matter of only seconds and obviously i can't speak for all women but I certainly don't dry up that quickly. Maybe, like has been said previously, using lube may be the answer  |
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"You guys have made a good point which has been mentioned to me before. I'm not vocal enough about my needs and am so keen to be polite that it's actually doing me harm. A few months ago a guy made a tear in my labia which was about 0.5cm deep and 2cm long because he was being far too rough and even though I was in pain, didn't even mention it until after he'd finished.
Can I suggest that you stop swinging for a while, get your head in a place that allows you to speak out and then return.
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This completely - if you aren't capable of speaking out for your own well being there is something seriously wrong.
Also a .5 by 2cm tear in that area should have been pissing blood. The female anatomy is pretty resilient so to cause such an injury you must have literally been fucked by a jack hammer.
Your post is overall concerning especially as your are complaining about things you have some part in controlling and only leaves the men you have been with unaware of any issues and that every woman might enjoy such treatment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am partial to a good hard fuck now and again but I have noticed very frequently that when the guy slips out, he rams it back in again with no thought to lubrication etc. Yes I'm very wet while penetration is going on which is all fine and dandy, but when they slip out, it seems to dry me a little and then when they try to put back in as quickly as possible, they end up causing friction which makes me sore! I'm not saying every time they slip out I want oral to get my juices flowing again, but maybe they could at least make the re-entry gentle before we get back to the furious pounding bit?!"
So, your 'very wet' then they slip out and put it back in as quickly as possible and in that short time you have dried up to the extent you were injured? Am I missing something? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it can hurt and do damage when ur not wet enough and i do speak up when it hurts but sometimes the men don't listen x"
If someone hurt me I'd let them know. If they don't listen I'd be leaving!! And I have done before. Speak up!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it can hurt and do damage when ur not wet enough and i do speak up when it hurts but sometimes the men don't listen x"
What kind of men are you meeting? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it can hurt and do damage when ur not wet enough and i do speak up when it hurts but sometimes the men don't listen x
What kind of men are you meeting? "
YEs she shouldn't use guys she should say some guys lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP the title to this thread is " when guys get it wrong "
I think it's very unfair of you to blame the guys you are meeting for possibly hurting you during sex due to you not being wet enough.
If a guy just slips out, and then goes back in you must be drying up pretty quickly as that's only really a few seconds at most for him to re enter?
If your not confident enough to speak out during your meets I think your treading a very dangerous path on here, especially if your meeting alone.
Guys are not mind readers you know!
You need to communicate with them, as they do with us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP the title to this thread is " when guys get it wrong "
I think it's very unfair of you to blame the guys you are meeting for possibly hurting you during sex due to you not being wet enough.
If a guy just slips out, and then goes back in you must be drying up pretty quickly as that's only really a few seconds at most for him to re enter?
If your not confident enough to speak out during your meets I think your treading a very dangerous path on here, especially if your meeting alone.
Guys are not mind readers you know!
You need to communicate with them, as they do with us. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it can hurt and do damage when ur not wet enough and i do speak up when it hurts but sometimes the men don't listen x
What kind of men are you meeting? YEs she shouldn't use guys she should say some guys lol."
I'm talking about men not listening to her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it can hurt and do damage when ur not wet enough and i do speak up when it hurts but sometimes the men don't listen x
What kind of men are you meeting? YEs she shouldn't use guys she should say some guys lol.
I'm talking about men not listening to her "
YEs I know, but the title is wrong as we don't all do it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A half centimetre deep tear? Not doubting actual damage but that seems a tad exaggerated! "
I understand your cynicism but I nearly had to have stitches. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"it can hurt and do damage when ur not wet enough and i do speak up when it hurts but sometimes the men don't listen x"
I agree that even if you try to let then know in a subtle way so as not to disturb the mood, it tends to go in one ear... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I seem to be really wet inside but not in any of the external areas, including entrance to the vagina. Unless I transfer my own lubricant with my fingers. Saliva dries immediately. Have I got Saharan desert labia and clit? Lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Condoms can dry me up,so I keep lube handy. If it's starting to chafe I tell him and he applies some"
Thanks. I don't tend to experience this with hubby who I don't use condoms with so that could be it x |
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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago
North Yorkshire by the Sea |
"I seem to be really wet inside but not in any of the external areas, including entrance to the vagina. Unless I transfer my own lubricant with my fingers. Saliva dries immediately. Have I got Saharan desert labia and clit? Lol"
Some people actually like what you are describing men as doing wrong so I would Say its not the men but a preference or requirement for you. Simply tell the men before Any play starts and maybe try lube as others have Said.
But not being able to speak up before or during is another matter and I would not put yourself in a situation where you are at risk of getting hurt until you feel able to speak up. How can you consent or not consent if you cannot speak up?! Maybe ask your husband to be more involved? |
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"it can hurt and do damage when ur not wet enough and i do speak up when it hurts but sometimes the men don't listen x
I agree that even if you try to let then know in a subtle way so as not to disturb the mood, it tends to go in one ear..."
I had hoped that younger women were more proactive where sex was concerned but "preserve the mood" really? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I seem to be really wet inside but not in any of the external areas, including entrance to the vagina. Unless I transfer my own lubricant with my fingers. Saliva dries immediately. Have I got Saharan desert labia and clit? Lol"
always have lube handy for external areas then no friction burns  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So a 6 hour session with coolgfunk , ( veri on profile ) had you squirting over and over and you didn't dry out ?? Did he stay in the whole time? ... bit confused :-/ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So a 6 hour session with coolgfunk , ( veri on profile ) had you squirting over and over and you didn't dry out ?? Did he stay in the whole time? ... bit confused :-/ "
Well. That's an end to this thread........ |
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"I am partial to a good hard fuck now and again but I have noticed very frequently that when the guy slips out, he rams it back in again with no thought to lubrication etc. Yes I'm very wet while penetration is going on which is all fine and dandy, but when they slip out, it seems to dry me a little and then when they try to put back in as quickly as possible, they end up causing friction which makes me sore! I'm not saying every time they slip out I want oral to get my juices flowing again, but maybe they could at least make the re-entry gentle before we get back to the furious pounding bit?!"
. If it does slip out I usually slip it back in gently and the lady usually assists. I can usually tell by the ladies reactions if she is enjoying it or not . The other side of the coin is I have had one or two ladies pull my foreskin back under such pressure when giving oral that it hurts . I can usually relieve the pressure slightly by moving forward a little.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am partial to a good hard fuck now and again but I have noticed very frequently that when the guy slips out, he rams it back in again with no thought to lubrication etc. Yes I'm very wet while penetration is going on which is all fine and dandy, but when they slip out, it seems to dry me a little and then when they try to put back in as quickly as possible, they end up causing friction which makes me sore! I'm not saying every time they slip out I want oral to get my juices flowing again, but maybe they could at least make the re-entry gentle before we get back to the furious pounding bit?!
And how will they know this unless you tell them? This may not be true of all women so posting it in a forum wont achieve a lot as far as you're concerned."
That doesn't happen to me but how would he know it did if I didn't tell him  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Of the 6 hours only about 15/20 mins was actual sex, the rest was kissing, oral. touching etc"
I usually find if I dry out, then fingering makes me wet again quite quickly. I'm very shy at asking for what I'd like and tend to let them take over a bit. Maybe if you can't tell them to their face what you would like, tell them in a message, i have done that recently
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A woman lubricates from the inside so her outer lips only get wet by this moving outside so when a guy withdraws her lips close and need to be open (ed) or penetration will have to force through this dry area sbeesh rocket science and men |
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"A woman lubricates from the inside so her outer lips only get wet by this moving outside so when a guy withdraws her lips close and need to be open (ed) or penetration will have to force through this dry area sbeesh rocket science and men"
I don't really know what to say to this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Awwwe does sound painful and I hope I am a little more thoughtful when I am in that mode "
I agree I hope wouldn't do it , as my wife tells me it hurts , I like it slow any way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm completely lost for words that a grown woman can't tell a guy that she is being intimate with when something is wrong. This is a risky lifestyle. If I ever got in the situation the OP is, my hubby wouldn't want me to meet. It's just plain dangerous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry. But in the time it takes to slip out then push it back in again surely it can't be possible to become THAT dry that it can cause friction/tear/rip. Something not right here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would it be a tear to your perineum as opposed to labia? I have had guys who slip out and then in a rush to get back in, push against the perineum, and occasionally slipped into my arse arggghhhh. The force on the perineum has occasionally made the area sore or split it slightly, as it's weak from many births and restitching. |
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"I am partial to a good hard fuck now and again but I have noticed very frequently that when the guy slips out, he rams it back in again with no thought to lubrication etc. Yes I'm very wet while penetration is going on which is all fine and dandy, but when they slip out, it seems to dry me a little and then when they try to put back in as quickly as possible, they end up causing friction which makes me sore! I'm not saying every time they slip out I want oral to get my juices flowing again, but maybe they could at least make the re-entry gentle before we get back to the furious pounding bit?!"
thanks for the tip .. I'll bear this in mind next time it happens  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is sex education in this country that bad that grown adults don't know that if your pussy gets torn you should probably say something?
Jeez.
OP, you've had loads of meets lately. I suggest you cool it while you learn to respect your body and learn about communication. |
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