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Best way to find a dom
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sub to Dom ratio is high. So how do I find that special Dom I can submit to?  "
Good luck with your search for a male Dom. If you want a female it helps to spell it domme.
Would put in you profile exactly what you are searching for and your hard and soft limits do she knows this is serious for you and not a fad. Failing that, a very well scripted message indicating exactly what you are looking for in detail and hope that one of them is interested enough to reply.
Generally this isn't a bdsm website and you would be better "served" going to a specific fetish site of which there are many. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Domme. It has a capital letter too. Some won't take you seriously if you can't get that bit right."
A 'Domme' who chastises you for your spelling before there is even an agreement of a D/s dynamic is possibly best avoided - Its like a Domme/Dom not talking to a submissive unless they call them sir/miss - that indication of respect and trust has to be earnt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Domme. It has a capital letter too. Some won't take you seriously if you can't get that bit right."
And others will laugh at you because you don't understand how to use capitalisation.
You have to do what feels right to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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no matter if you are looking for a dom or a domme or you are male or female. just be sensible if someone doesn't feel right dont do it - a well respected and experienced dom/domme will have no problem with you asking to speak to their previous submissives
If you are new to it all look up sub frenzy - It is a real issue that can seriously cause problems if not understood and controlled
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" a well respected and experienced dom/domme will have no problem with you asking to speak to their previous submissives
"
Actually, I'd have a problem with that. And I'm experienced - although I have no idea if I'm 'respected'.
My ex's are ex's for a reason. That reason might just be that we weren't compatible anymore, but I sure as hell wouldn't like prospective partners getting poisoned by some of my ex's. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" a well respected and experienced dom/domme will have no problem with you asking to speak to their previous submissives
Actually, I'd have a problem with that. And I'm experienced - although I have no idea if I'm 'respected'.
My ex's are ex's for a reason. That reason might just be that we weren't compatible anymore, but I sure as hell wouldn't like prospective partners getting poisoned by some of my ex's."
Sorry I was referring to the club/pro dom/domme's rather than someone dom/domme in their private life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Sorry I was referring to the club/pro dom/domme's rather than someone dom/domme in their private life "
Fair enough. I think that most people seeking a top aren't seeking to pay a few hundred quid for a professional though.
Although, maybe I am a club dom? I mean, I play as a top in clubs. I don't accept money though. And I do play privately as well. So confusing for this little brain... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So confusing for this little brain..."
There appear to be so many rules and protocols and for some people they enjoy that - it should be easy and fun and whatever it is you want it to be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" a well respected and experienced dom/domme will have no problem with you asking to speak to their previous submissives
Actually, I'd have a problem with that. And I'm experienced - although I have no idea if I'm 'respected'.
My ex's are ex's for a reason. That reason might just be that we weren't compatible anymore, but I sure as hell wouldn't like prospective partners getting poisoned by some of my ex's.
Sorry I was referring to the club/pro dom/domme's rather than someone dom/domme in their private life "
I'd be incredibly wary of a 'pro' Dom who gives out the names or contact details of subs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" a well respected and experienced dom/domme will have no problem with you asking to speak to their previous submissives
Actually, I'd have a problem with that. And I'm experienced - although I have no idea if I'm 'respected'.
My ex's are ex's for a reason. That reason might just be that we weren't compatible anymore, but I sure as hell wouldn't like prospective partners getting poisoned by some of my ex's.
Sorry I was referring to the club/pro dom/domme's rather than someone dom/domme in their private life
I'd be incredibly wary of a 'pro' Dom who gives out the names or contact details of subs "
On community sites like the one everyone knows - its not a case of giving out contact details. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's a big kink scene in Essex. Pretty sure there is a munch in Basildon. London is relatively local and thete isca monthly Fem-Domme playveventm Get involved. Go to Fet events. Meet peope in real life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" a well respected and experienced dom/domme will have no problem with you asking to speak to their previous submissives
Actually, I'd have a problem with that. And I'm experienced - although I have no idea if I'm 'respected'.
My ex's are ex's for a reason. That reason might just be that we weren't compatible anymore, but I sure as hell wouldn't like prospective partners getting poisoned by some of my ex's.
Sorry I was referring to the club/pro dom/domme's rather than someone dom/domme in their private life
I'd be incredibly wary of a 'pro' Dom who gives out the names or contact details of subs "
There is a world of difference to a pro Domme and the many Dom/Dommes we know who play at clubs though. And many of those actively point you in the direction of people they've topped and likewise many people point unattached subs in their direction |
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"There's a big kink scene in Essex. Pretty sure there is a munch in Basildon. London is relatively local and thete isca monthly Fem-Domme playveventm Get involved. Go to Fet events. Meet peope in real life"
There is a monthly meet and greet in Southend. Very friendly group. And not a million miles away from Basildon.
There is also a monthly coffee meet at Lakeside. Again a friendly little group. |
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The replies will fall into several categories on here :-
1. Wannabe doms - these are the tits who think if they call you slut you will fall you your knees and worship them.
2. Funny - the people who want to suggest a funny/sarcastic answer (just laugh its easiest)
3. Curious - The people who are genuinely curious about Dom/sub activities.
One person you prob wont get a public reply from is someone who would be a decent Dom, they will hopefully message privately, not calling you slut or babe and hopefully will start a sensible meaningful dialogue 
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry for my spelling!!  "
Not to worry- but I think I should just point out another spelling mistake on your profile that might confuse a "Dom"
You've spelt "Bi-sexual" S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T
Good luck
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sub to Dom ratio is high. So how do I find that special Dom I can submit to? "
Your best bet would be on a specific site to that sort of thing there are lots out there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
One person you prob wont get a public reply from is someone who would be a decent Dom, they will hopefully message privately, not calling you slut or babe and hopefully will start a sensible meaningful dialogue
"
I would disagree here - A dominant interested in exploring a d/s relationship with the OP may very well reply privately but there are plenty of 'Decent Doms' or people with valid experience they wish to share on threads like these |
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"Sub to Dom ratio is high. So how do I find that special Dom I can submit to? "
try using a different site, one with event listings and find your local munch. when there ask around get to know who is who. eventually you will find a Dom/Domme who will no doubt take you under their wing.
alternatively search out pro Dom/Dommes and have a taste of the lifestyle (its spendy but most really good ones will cater for all levels of experience)
third option is to look for specialist clubs and go and see if anyone will take you on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I recommend munches
These are purely social events where you can get to know people without having to act as if in the scene.
"
Totally agree with this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
One person you prob wont get a public reply from is someone who would be a decent Dom, they will hopefully message privately, not calling you slut or babe and hopefully will start a sensible meaningful dialogue
I would disagree here - A dominant interested in exploring a d/s relationship with the OP may very well reply privately but there are plenty of 'Decent Doms' or people with valid experience they wish to share on threads like these"
I'm not getting that logicc either.
It's pretty disrespectful to those who have replied to suggest that they aren;t 'decent Dom/Dommes'  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Munches are to Fet/BDSM, what Socials are to Swing - mostly.
A fairly casual, 'vanilla' get together in a pub, or similar. There should not be any Protocols in use. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for your reply.
I've met a couple of pros and had a great time but very costly.
I've started looking at some other sites. "
If you're looking to get pro type services from lifestyle dommes for free, you're likely to get short shrift. What do you have to offer a domme? |
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great this place 
