FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > The single female dilemma
The single female dilemma
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi guys.
So been on the site a little while now and quite enjoying it.
What drags it down? The time wasters, and in particular the bogus "single females" !!!!!!
It's the latter that we need the thoughts of you good people on.
We've become extremely dubious about any single females that show interest in us, either via message or a wink etc, all because of the fakes we've come across.
So when making contact, we're reluctant to send pics, expand and share much in messages, and to be perfectly honest expect them to verify themselves fairly quickly with a fem to fem phone call or Skype etc.
Our worry is that because of this, we may well be putting genuine single females off taking things further.
Do the genuine single females experience this from other couples because of the amount of fake single female profiles? Do you also have patience with couples because of this?
And how do other couples work around this?
Would be interesting to find out.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do whatever works for you best. A genuine single female would generally have no problem verifying themselves early on in a get to know you. Contact only verified women, use your filters and bullshit radars. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think there are time wasters in every category. Generally though , if you can see they have veri's - that helps prove they're genuine , a few public pics, a telephone call - that all cuts down on the possibility of it being a bogus person. Having said that , there are no guarantees ! I generally follow my gut instinct and it serves me well. If something doesn't feel right , I move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Took me a while to get verified, i was meeting other non-verified users and didn't even understand this site any more than it being somewhere to hook up, and didn't know there was any advantage to being verified either.
I probably wouldn't have patience for a couple if i felt messed about, i certainly don't have time for single males who do, but i'd have no problem being called within a few messages to confirm myself genuine (was doing this for all meets when i first joined anyway), probably be a bit shy to cam though because i just feel put on the spot to make general chit chat with someone i don't know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't look to meet single females through the site generally...all of our female friends have usually been through parties, clubs and socials...it's easier to not only see they're genuine but also whether they fit in with the whole swinging thing and they get the reassurance that we genuinely both are into the potential of a meet as a mutually satisfying experience rather than looking for a plaything or a performing seal which so many couple seem to come across as looking for... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no problem with a phone call or Skype to anyone to prove I'm who I say I am. I am wary of spammers,they pop up everywhere so I would rely on my spidey senses before giving my number and Skype name. I don't want to switch on my webcam to find a shot of a naked groin |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
I do meet couples. I do not skype. Not my thing - too many times on skype its been pressure to do more than just chat.
I am verified on here, have pictures and am happy to chat.
If a couple refused to open up in messages, then it would never get as far as a phone call. I swap phone numbers generally when we organise a social meet.
I always meet socially first as well. Never let anyone down, although have been let down last minute by couples and single fellas. |
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As a single fem I don't send face pic or Skype to prove who I am, I have enough verifications to clearly not be fake. If anyone doesn't believe so many people then it's their loss. Go to socials and clubs to meet real live unicorns, we're out there  |
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By *y2funMan
over a year ago
DUDLEY |
"And how do other couples work around this?
"
just have to the cracks, nutters, bunnies and fakes out.... we make it easy to chat to us, we use skype and Kik and if we wanted to go further would give mobile number out...... then a social meet to see if we like/dislike them/her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi guys.
So been on the site a little while now and quite enjoying it.
What drags it down? The time wasters, and in particular the bogus "single females" !!!!!!
It's the latter that we need the thoughts of you good people on.
We've become extremely dubious about any single females that show interest in us, either via message or a wink etc, all because of the fakes we've come across.
So when making contact, we're reluctant to send pics, expand and share much in messages, and to be perfectly honest expect them to verify themselves fairly quickly with a fem to fem phone call or Skype etc.
Our worry is that because of this, we may well be putting genuine single females off taking things further.
Do the genuine single females experience this from other couples because of the amount of fake single female profiles? Do you also have patience with couples because of this?
And how do other couples work around this?
Would be interesting to find out. "
I'm quite often asked to go on cam to 'verify' myself and to be honest, I'm just not interested.
I know that I'm a rarer species than the couple that are looking for a bisexual woman, so if they want me to jump through hoops then... they can find another single, bisexual woman. |
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.
"I'm quite often asked to go on cam to 'verify' myself and to be honest, I'm just not interested.
I know that I'm a rarer species than the couple that are looking for a bisexual woman, so if they want me to jump through hoops then... they can find another single, bisexual woman."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Married, single female here, so probably my post wont count. But im verified but dont meet couples but I am genuine, should my feelings change one day.  "
I hope all genuine people are welcome, whatever their status and whatever they are looking for! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are time wasters in every category, unfortunately.. Couples, where the female half seems remarkably absent, single females that want to charge for their services, or want you to visit their website, etc. I reckon the site does a pretty good job of ing them out.
My biggest gripe is people that chat, agree to meet and then go quiet... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" I know that I'm a rarer species than the couple that are looking for a bisexual woman, so if they want me to jump through hoops then... they can find another single, bisexual woman."
We certainly don't blame you for this approach! It's very similar to ours. Are we THAT desperate to meet a single female, that we will share pics and chat with potential fakes. The answer is no.
The real difficulty is striking the balance.
Someone mentioned check verifications, but we've discovered that even the fakes have verifications, and then we have to become Sherlock homes In tracing back verifications lol
Someone else mentioned passing on a phone number fairly early. We've discovered this is a pretty quick way to out the fakes. So got ourselves a "play" phone. Cheapo pay as you go! Lol
Really good to hear the different points of view from everyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a genuine and verified single woman and I wouldn't cam or do a phone call within a few messages to 'prove myself' to you. I have genuine issues with using a phone.
In actual fact less than 5% of the people I meet have my number, with smartphones it's easy enough to access fab from anywhere so I don't see the necessity of it.
If this puts people off meeting me then it's their loss not mine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm a genuine and verified single woman and I wouldn't cam or do a phone call within a few messages to 'prove myself' to you. I have genuine issues with using a phone.
In actual fact less than 5% of the people I meet have my number, with smartphones it's easy enough to access fab from anywhere so I don't see the necessity of it.
If this puts people off meeting me then it's their loss not mine."
Same here I'm afraid, I don't Skype or go on cam I also don't give my mobile out to anyone without getting to know them first. I'm genuine  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm a genuine and verified single woman and I wouldn't cam or do a phone call within a few messages to 'prove myself' to you. I have genuine issues with using a phone.
In actual fact less than 5% of the people I meet have my number, with smartphones it's easy enough to access fab from anywhere so I don't see the necessity of it.
If this puts people off meeting me then it's their loss not mine.
Same here I'm afraid, I don't Skype or go on cam I also don't give my mobile out to anyone without getting to know them first. I'm genuine "
and same here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always meet in cclubs for this reason, I can understand where the op is coming from but I wouldnt feel comfortable jumping through hoops for a couple x |
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Genuine females would be meet verified hopefully, or at least can verified.
You can spot the fakes a mile off in the chat rooms, talking all dirty, saying they want to meet!
There was a for instance in the chat room the other day.
A single bi woman wanting to meet a couple, chatting away to a woman who was on cam.
Said she would message to arrange a meet.
She was asked to go on cam.....didn't have one.
So she was asked to ring the woman who was on cam to verify she was indeed female, 10 seconds later she was offline!!!
Trust your gut instinct and you'll never go far wrong.
A genuine female will be happy to verify in one form or another.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do whatever works for you best. A genuine single female would generally have no problem verifying themselves early on in a get to know you. Contact only verified women, use your filters and bullshit radars. "
this |
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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago
Northampton |
I know what you mean.. I have now given up on couples, because so many are either just the guy in the driving seat (with an otherwise genuine couple) with no intention of meeting as a couple, or just a guy full stop. Too many times I have heard the same old excuses 'oh mrs is at work / cooking / shopping' when I ask for cam or phone veri. |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Do whatever works for you best. A genuine single female would generally have no problem verifying themselves early on in a get to know you. Contact only verified women, use your filters and bullshit radars.
this"
Mmm I suspect the club road is probably for us. |
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"Do whatever works for you best. A genuine single female would generally have no problem verifying themselves early on in a get to know you. "
I don't agree - I'm genuine but refuse to verify myself beyond what's on my profile early on, why should I? Most couples are just guys and many guys are timewasters - I want the ones who turn up and willing to put the effort in to meeting me. Anyone who is insistent on me proving myself further that early raises a red flag! Just my opinion though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think one thing that this thread demonstrates is that people are very probably actually dismissing genuine females based on this ridiculous mantra that a genuine female must be willing to prove themselves genuine on cam or phone.
Yet inevitably this will still be stated by many as a fail proof way of ing out the fakes.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are equally as many fake couples as there are woman on here
in my early days I gave number to verify im a fem, the other fem was never available so never got any further, just ended up with a male texting forever till they got bored as not getting anything from me
As now gained experience in swingland, no woman/couples even men for that matter lol will realize im hard work to meet as I will not verify im real through calls skype or webcam.
Its simple with me all my first meets are at fab socials, party's and clubs.my verifications are proof anough I attend these places.
Woman learn whats best for them, and ive met some amazing people this way, no hassle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are equally as many fake couples as there are woman on here
in my early days I gave number to verify im a fem, the other fem was never available so never got any further, just ended up with a male texting forever till they got bored as not getting anything from me
As now gained experience in swingland, no woman/couples even men for that matter lol will realize im hard work to meet as I will not verify im real through calls skype or webcam.
Its simple with me all my first meets are at fab socials, party's and clubs.my verifications are proof anough I attend these places.
Woman learn whats best for them, and ive met some amazing people this way, no hassle "
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"I think one thing that this thread demonstrates is that people are very probably actually dismissing genuine females based on this ridiculous mantra that a genuine female must be willing to prove themselves genuine on cam or phone.
Yet inevitably this will still be stated by many as a fail proof way of ing out the fakes.
"
Isn't that up to the individual, though? Personally speaking, if someone doesn't want to speak on phone first, it most likely (but not always) doesn't go any further. That may mean we miss some genuine people, but it also guarantees we don't waste time arranging to meet fakes.
At the end of the day, you will only ever meet and play with people through here if everything matches for all parties, from the tone and content of initial messages to attraction in person. It's foolish to criticise the way people approach things if it works for them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do whatever works for you best. A genuine single female would generally have no problem verifying themselves early on in a get to know you.
I don't agree - I'm genuine but refuse to verify myself beyond what's on my profile early on, why should I? Most couples are just guys and many guys are timewasters - I want the ones who turn up and willing to put the effort in to meeting me. Anyone who is insistent on me proving myself further that early raises a red flag! Just my opinion though "
Me to! I won't cam. I won't phone.Only meet in clubs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the 4 plus years of being in fab I'd say I've spoken to maybe 4 people on the phone, I've never stood anyone up or been stood up. (So far) everyone else I have met either socially or more I've made arrangements on here or through kik the first time I speak to someone is usually face to face. It works ok for me x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I show some of my veri's so they know I'm real. I like a fem to fem phone chat early on and then a social as it's easier to chat face to face and see how we get on. I trust my instincts with other people. If it seems odd I stop chatting. |
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"
I don't agree - I'm genuine but refuse to verify myself beyond what's on my profile early on, why should I? Most couples are just guys and many guys are timewasters - I want the ones who turn up and willing to put the effort in to meeting me. Anyone who is insistent on me proving myself further that early raises a red flag! Just my opinion though
Me to! I won't cam. I won't phone.Only meet in clubs"
I'd like to meet u in a club sometime - if only to prove we're both genuine of course 
|
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
".....
Do the genuine single females experience this from other couples because of the amount of fake single female profiles? Do you also have patience with couples because of this?
.....
"
Quite the opposite. The number of fake couples on here is staggering. I am the one who insists that I see them both on Skype for a normal, fully clothed chat on webcam
On a number of occasions, the 'wife' was tired and in bed, walking the dog, at the knitting class, with the in-laws, bs, bs, bs. That converstaion usually lasts 10 seconds before I hit the 'end call' button
Or better still, they will arrange a date/time for the Skype call and never log on
And it is not only about whether they are real. It is also about whether I find them attractive and they find me attractive. A Skype video call is worth a thousand photographs as it is realtime and full motion. Gives a much better (and true) idea of what the two of them look like than a bunch of photo-shopped, out-of-date photographs |
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By *ympho7Couple
over a year ago
swansea |
I do the typing for my mrs, she hates sitting at the keyboard, trouble is although I identify myself, some dont think there is a mrs, but only when we get to know someone will I give out a phone no.
and prove it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There are equally as many fake couples as there are woman on here
in my early days I gave number to verify im a fem, the other fem was never available so never got any further, just ended up with a male texting forever till they got bored as not getting anything from me
As now gained experience in swingland, no woman/couples even men for that matter lol will realize im hard work to meet as I will not verify im real through calls skype or webcam.
Its simple with me all my first meets are at fab socials, party's and clubs.my verifications are proof anough I attend these places.
Woman learn whats best for them, and ive met some amazing people this way, no hassle "
I agree |
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"I'm a genuine and verified single woman and I wouldn't cam or do a phone call within a few messages to 'prove myself' to you. I have genuine issues with using a phone.
In actual fact less than 5% of the people I meet have my number, with smartphones it's easy enough to access fab from anywhere so I don't see the necessity of it.
If this puts people off meeting me then it's their loss not mine."
|
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"Hi guys.
So been on the site a little while now and quite enjoying it.
What drags it down? The time wasters, and in particular the bogus "single females" !!!!!!
It's the latter that we need the thoughts of you good people on.
We've become extremely dubious about any single females that show interest in us, either via message or a wink etc, all because of the fakes we've come across.
So when making contact, we're reluctant to send pics, expand and share much in messages, and to be perfectly honest expect them to verify themselves fairly quickly with a fem to fem phone call or Skype etc.
Our worry is that because of this, we may well be putting genuine single females off taking things further.
Do the genuine single females experience this from other couples because of the amount of fake single female profiles? Do you also have patience with couples because of this?
And how do other couples work around this?
Would be interesting to find out. "
Apparently I'm a dirty old man with a fake profile all because I don't have pics of me with spunk on my face and over 100 veris  |
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" Angel 48: Apparently I'm a dirty old man with a fake profile all because I don't have pics of me with spunk on my face and over 100 veris "
Well if that's what a 'dirty-old-man' looks like I'd quite happily be a gay gigolo. !! |
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