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sub/dom - aftercare

By *tlovers OP Couple over a year ago

Warrington

I saw something on here the other day about bdsm and aftercare after a rough, intense session.

What does it mean 'aftercare'?

I am v submissive with my man ..After a major session I really NEED a cuddle and kisses and gentleness and a brew with a nice normal chat. Is this what is meant by aftercare?

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By *lipperyWhenWet!Couple over a year ago

Rochester

"I saw something on here the other day about bdsm and aftercare after a rough, intense session.

What does it mean 'aftercare'?

I am v submissive with my man ..After a major session I really NEED a cuddle and kisses and gentleness and a brew with a nice normal chat. Is this what is meant by aftercare? "

For you, yes it is, but it means many things, even first aid

but primarily you have the gist of it, there's more to a relationship than getting your rocks off.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"I saw something on here the other day about bdsm and aftercare after a rough, intense session.

What does it mean 'aftercare'?

I am v submissive with my man ..After a major session I really NEED a cuddle and kisses and gentleness and a brew with a nice normal chat. Is this what is meant by aftercare? "

Yes. It's making sure you are both ok with what just happened. I personally feel it's important fir both D/s parties. I know my partner needs the reassurance that I am ok after a hard session and that I also need to feel loved and cared for after.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was wondering this too. I've had two hard sessions with my new mistress and noticed she's very attentive afterwards.

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By *tlovers OP Couple over a year ago

Warrington

What do you mean attentive? (Gentle? Nice? Caring? )

Do you feel you need that bit?

I once had a fantastic but very rough session then had to quickly leave after. I felt horrible all day..weepy and traumatised a bit. I think I definitely need some tlc after!

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

The intensity of the endorphin spike, especially during impact play, drops away suddenly and it creates a void, almost like a chemical withdrawal. It can manifest a number of emotions which need to be supported.

.....So I've been told

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

First session, it was tending more towards first aid. I was dizzy. Needed a cold drink and a sit down for quite a while. She stayed close by watching to see I was ok because another girl had quickly scooped me into a cuddle.

Second time I was on a cross and the session wasn't so hard. She came round in front of me and was talking softly to me and nuzzling my face with hers. That was what I needed at that time too.

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By *tlovers OP Couple over a year ago

Warrington

She sounds like she knows what she is doing!

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

It's the dreaded subdrop afterwards when you have to rush off and don't get the cuddling and holding. The endorphins slowly release and the euphoria subsides and if you're on your own or even in a normal public place it's quite a sad place to be. It's only temporary though since the brain chemicals soon return to normal. Chocolate helps! And I do a video blog when I can or write down what just happened from my perspective to share with my Dom, which makes for a slower emotional comedown since I'm reliving the experience.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"She sounds like she knows what she is doing! "

She's been beating people for many years! She needs to hurt people. I need to please.

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"It's the dreaded subdrop afterwards when you have to rush off and don't get the cuddling and holding. The endorphins slowly release and the euphoria subsides and if you're on your own or even in a normal public place it's quite a sad place to be. It's only temporary though since the brain chemicals soon return to normal. Chocolate helps! And I do a video blog when I can or write down what just happened from my perspective to share with my Dom, which makes for a slower emotional comedown since I'm reliving the experience."

Not sure about the chocolate though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This thread seems to be doing better for advice than the one I posted yesterday

I'll have some chocolate in my play bag for next time and see if it helps.

I have two sessions arranged for December already. Both very public. Mmm

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"This thread seems to be doing better for advice than the one I posted yesterday

I'll have some chocolate in my play bag for next time and see if it helps.

I have two sessions arranged for December already. Both very public. Mmm

Chocolate is very good, it increases the Theobromine levels.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This thread seems to be doing better for advice than the one I posted yesterday

I'll have some chocolate in my play bag for next time and see if it helps.

I have two sessions arranged for December already. Both very public. Mmm

Chocolate is very good, it increases the Theobromine levels. "

Have I got theobromine then?

What does that do?

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"This thread seems to be doing better for advice than the one I posted yesterday

I'll have some chocolate in my play bag for next time and see if it helps.

I have two sessions arranged for December already. Both very public. Mmm

Chocolate is very good, it increases the Theobromine levels.

Have I got theobromine then?

What does that do?"

Depends what you have been nibbling on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Usually cocks but I do a nice job servicing a pussy with my mouth too. If she's just been filled by a cock...... Ooooooo heaven

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By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

"I saw something on here the other day about bdsm and aftercare after a rough, intense session.

What does it mean 'aftercare'?

I am v submissive with my man ..After a major session I really NEED a cuddle and kisses and gentleness and a brew with a nice normal chat. Is this what is meant by aftercare? "

a little. Depends on the woman .. some are good with general chats others need a week of constant comfort.

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Usually cocks but I do a nice job servicing a pussy with my mouth too. If she's just been filled by a cock...... Ooooooo heaven

Ha ha, stimulants come in many forms......

....other then chocolate.

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By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

comfort is the wrong word. More like - general hellos

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry I got distracted then.

Let's get back to subbing.

Top tip to be a brilliant sub? To please my Dom?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The couple of times I've been tied etc I've had the shivers and chills after, a cuddle and a fluffy blanket have done the trick.

I've never really had sub drop as nobody has pushed me hard enough to experience it

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By *atasha_DavidCouple over a year ago

Slough

For us immediate aftercare is a little drifty snuggle time, a warm blanket or dip in a hot tub as her core temperature dips and needs pulling up and the just a little time to adjust.

Emotionally an intense session can cause a real slump hours to days afterwards which seems to be triggered by separation so is best avoided with company and constant contact.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm into s&m because i'm trying to repair myself emotionally and fix something that can never be fixed, but in my head i can prove that what happened was wrong and show myself there is another way of doing things. Hope that makes sense because i'm not prepared to divulge further.

So even as the sadist it's very important to myself that i'm loving and affectionate as well as do all the things i enjoy doing. It works in healing myself, and hopefully the other person is being healed too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I saw something on here the other day about bdsm and aftercare after a rough, intense session.

What does it mean 'aftercare'?

I am v submissive with my man ..After a major session I really NEED a cuddle and kisses and gentleness and a brew with a nice normal chat. Is this what is meant by aftercare? "

Yes, I've had a few meets/relationships with more dominant men and afterwards always had a cuddle, gentle kisses and reassurance, it can cause a real low otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always enjoy having a cuddle and a kiss, enjoy some tender sex...

You can get quite a connection from Sub/Dom and it is, or should be, founded on respect and care so once it's all out of your system... you can express your gentle appreciation of what just happened

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The understanding of Aftercare is correct. The need for it will vary, with the Session, with the Sub - and with the Dom(me). Depends very much on what you have been doing.....

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By *SweetVioletxWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

I go cold and get physically very sensitive so being kept warm and held is important to me after an intensive session. Once I'm settled I love to fuck again but out of the sub/ dom mind set

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

wow! thanks a lot for this thread. it helps me a lot.

I am going to have my very first experience as a sub soon. this will help me to prevent a bad feeling afterwards.

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"wow! thanks a lot for this thread. it helps me a lot.

I am going to have my very first experience as a sub soon. this will help me to prevent a bad feeling afterwards.

It's (I believe) not a bad feeling, in a cognitive sense it's a chemical imbalance, emotionally kid gloves are needed and what's more incredibly important, as a balance.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

yes, I think I understand.

what I wanted to say is that an unbalance could result in a bad feeling.

I will be careful.

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"yes, I think I understand.

what I wanted to say is that an unbalance could result in a bad feeling.

I will be careful.

No, don't go with any reservations, if they know what they're doing....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

yes, I think they know exactly what they are doing. and I trust them.

and in addition my partner will be with me.

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"yes, I think they know exactly what they are doing. and I trust them.

and in addition my partner will be with me."

Then have fun, in a great way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

thank you! I will!

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By *histler21Man over a year ago

Ipswich

"I saw something on here the other day about bdsm and aftercare after a rough, intense session.

What does it mean 'aftercare'?

I am v submissive with my man ..After a major session I really NEED a cuddle and kisses and gentleness and a brew with a nice normal chat. Is this what is meant by aftercare? "

Someone I meet needs lots of this 'aftercare' - to help her come down. For her - this is just having me cuddle her. That's all. Well, apart from me making a cup of coffee. We can easily spend an hour or so until she is back with it. Even then it's not enough - she will crash later that day - but not anywhere near as bad as it would be if I just upped and left.

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By *rettyLittleThingWoman over a year ago

Swansea

I often get a subdrop, once or twice after a fairly hard session (even with holding and kisses) has it gone into something that is day long. But that's as much as I let it control me and what I take from it.

For the best part I just get quite sensitive, affectionate and quiet for a few minutes whilst I take everything in, then I'm usually ok to go again.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm into s&m because i'm trying to repair myself emotionally and fix something that can never be fixed, but in my head i can prove that what happened was wrong and show myself there is another way of doing things. Hope that makes sense because i'm not prepared to divulge further.

I think I know what you're getting at. When something happens to you of which you have no control, you cannot undo it. You can, however, alter emotional responses to the memory of it.

Any part of BDSM there is an element of control in D/s. This control, or knowledge of it, lent or given, is therapeutic. It's a power exchange with consent.

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