FabSwingers.com
 

FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Does having the term...

Does having the term...

Jump to: Newest in thread

 

By *icentious OP   Couple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Dom in a profile stop people from contacting them?

Just a thought around if it held negative connotations.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yep, defo off putting for me. I wouldn't contact someone with it on their profile.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Oh yes, big put off same with bull

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Dom in a profile stop people from contacting them?

Just a thought around if it held negative connotations."

it wouldn't stop us in certain contexts.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Dom in a profile stop people from contacting them?

Just a thought around if it held negative connotations."

Yes, as does bull...not the dynamic we're looking for...and my experience has been that they are unable to not bring that persona to the table.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I just think profiles that say "I'm very dom" means they like been on top during sex and have seen it on a few other profiles

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icentious OP   Couple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"I just think profiles that say "I'm very dom" means they like been on top during sex and have seen it on a few other profiles "

Purely for my interest, is that because of experience or is it the connotation.

I suppose I'm trying to establish what the word Dom means to people and is that a true reflection from experience, or just a reaction to the word.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oodmessMan  over a year ago

yumsville


"Dom in a profile stop people from contacting them?

Just a thought around if it held negative connotations."

absolutely

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I just think profiles that say "I'm very dom" means they like been on top during sex and have seen it on a few other profiles

Purely for my interest, is that because of experience or is it the connotation.

I suppose I'm trying to establish what the word Dom means to people and is that a true reflection from experience, or just a reaction to the word."

In your profile I think it's very much in context and would only put us off because A is what people call an alpha male and it could cause sparks. I think it explains how he is very well.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Dom in a profile stop people from contacting them?

Just a thought around if it held negative connotations."

Dom is another one of those labels which is wide open to interpretation. Just like when someone says they're into BDSM but don't explain what they mean. Are they talking about a little light slapping or being strung upside down and severely beaten.

Which is why we tend to avoid profiles using terms of this kind.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Even if their name is Dominic?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think the term dom means different things to different people...

However, the 50 shades of grey wannabee doms that literally spanked a girls arse and though 'I like that, I'll be a dom' is fucking irritating.

To be a true dom, you need a submissive / slave / puppy / brat etc... There needs to be an agreement in place, a trust built and first and foremost, a dom should not take for granted that they can do what they like with any girl that wants to play and the same goes for fendoms in reverse.

It's a dangerous minefield. I'm a switch, I can do both but I prefer G to top and me to bottom. Basically meaning I like her to be in control.

Would we contact a dynamic as such, yes. Probably. But come hell or high water, we would give them the Spanish inquisition beforehand.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think when you see a girls profile saying something like "seeks dom male" puts men off because I for one wouldn't know how to live up to that really, I'm just little old me. I think people should expand a bit and give an explanation about what they want from a dom or bull. I'd be happy to slap the odd arse and take the lead but I'm not into the leather clad whips and chains scenario but that's just me

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think when you see a girls profile saying something like "seeks dom male" puts men off because I for one wouldn't know how to live up to that really, I'm just little old me. I think people should expand a bit and give an explanation about what they want from a dom or bull. I'd be happy to slap the odd arse and take the lead but I'm not into the leather clad whips and chains scenario but that's just me "

Someone who is honest. Kudos to you sir!

Being a dom is a bloody hard thing. And many of the 'doms' here would be hardly interested in proper aftercare, which kind of proves my original post.

I am generalising though. This isn't always the case an I am sure some here are real and true. I just wonder where the crossover is between here and another well known kink site.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It would also put me off if I saw the words "dick" and "in the bunker"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icentious OP   Couple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"I think when you see a girls profile saying something like "seeks dom male" puts men off because I for one wouldn't know how to live up to that really, I'm just little old me. I think people should expand a bit and give an explanation about what they want from a dom or bull. I'd be happy to slap the odd arse and take the lead but I'm not into the leather clad whips and chains scenario but that's just me

Someone who is honest. Kudos to you sir!

Being a dom is a bloody hard thing. And many of the 'doms' here would be hardly interested in proper aftercare, which kind of proves my original post.

I am generalising though. This isn't always the case an I am sure some here are real and true. I just wonder where the crossover is between here and another well known kink site.

"

I briefly brought up aftercare in another thread a couple days ago.

I often look at these type of threads and wonder at why people automatically move to extremes. Every distribution curve has higher and lower levels and I expect the binomial distribution of this way of thinking will be the same.

There are a number of motives behind me asking and many thanks to those how have responded so far.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes puts me off

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icentious OP   Couple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"I think when you see a girls profile saying something like "seeks dom male" puts men off because I for one wouldn't know how to live up to that really, I'm just little old me. I think people should expand a bit and give an explanation about what they want from a dom or bull. I'd be happy to slap the odd arse and take the lead but I'm not into the leather clad whips and chains scenario but that's just me

Someone who is honest. Kudos to you sir!

Being a dom is a bloody hard thing. And many of the 'doms' here would be hardly interested in proper aftercare, which kind of proves my original post.

I am generalising though. This isn't always the case an I am sure some here are real and true. I just wonder where the crossover is between here and another well known kink site.

I briefly brought up aftercare in another thread a couple days ago.

I often look at these type of threads and wonder at why people automatically move to extremes. Every distribution curve has higher and lower levels and I expect the binomial distribution of this way of thinking will be the same.

There are a number of motives behind me asking and many thanks to those how have responded so far. "

Who

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys.

It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icentious OP   Couple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys.

It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about."

Sexual blinkers - tunnel vision?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys.

It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about.

Sexual blinkers - tunnel vision? "

No idea. I should ask the next one who messages lol.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If anything it would make me message them I love a man who knows what he wants and how he wants it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oonshadowsCouple  over a year ago

Lytham St Annes


"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys.

It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about.

Sexual blinkers - tunnel vision?

No idea. I should ask the next one who messages lol."

Honest answer from her (Nina), your avatar does have quite submissive look to it and you also seem to be wearing a collar.

At this point their brain has moved south and, like so many on here, they don't read any of the text in your profile so send their missive over

Nina xx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys.

It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about.

Sexual blinkers - tunnel vision?

No idea. I should ask the next one who messages lol.

Honest answer from her (Nina), your avatar does have quite submissive look to it and you also seem to be wearing a collar.

At this point their brain has moved south and, like so many on here, they don't read any of the text in your profile so send their missive over

Nina xx"

Oh, you know i did wonder if i gave off a submissive look, so thanks for that. Best get some better pics arranged then, lol.

The collar is just my long hair.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oonshadowsCouple  over a year ago

Lytham St Annes


"Dom in a profile stop people from contacting them?

Just a thought around if it held negative connotations.

Yes, as does bull...not the dynamic we're looking for...and my experience has been that they are unable to not bring that persona to the table."

Definitely this for us but I would see that as a positive as we wouldn't be what they wanted either.

That said, I would also expect them to have an alternate profile on the other site if they really knew what they were doing anyway

Nina x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

There was an interesting article posted on here a few weeks ago about Dom's and the wannabes that surround that area, how it can be a dangerous minefield for people and to beware the 'Mr grays' that think it means a rough fuck and to do what they want.

Unfortunately I think the label has attracted a negative stigma from these plastic doms, so for me I'd be very cautious around people claiming that

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oonshadowsCouple  over a year ago

Lytham St Annes


"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys.

It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about.

Sexual blinkers - tunnel vision?

No idea. I should ask the next one who messages lol.

Honest answer from her (Nina), your avatar does have quite submissive look to it and you also seem to be wearing a collar.

At this point their brain has moved south and, like so many on here, they don't read any of the text in your profile so send their missive over

Nina xx

Oh, you know i did wonder if i gave off a submissive look, so thanks for that. Best get some better pics arranged then, lol.

The collar is just my long hair."

Just looked at your other pics and can see your hair now there are some great pics there already, bet one of the pics of your foot would help get messages from male subs the first one looks really good x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If anything it would make me message them I love a man who knows what he wants and how he wants it. "

As your name suggests

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys.

It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about.

Sexual blinkers - tunnel vision?

No idea. I should ask the next one who messages lol.

Honest answer from her (Nina), your avatar does have quite submissive look to it and you also seem to be wearing a collar.

At this point their brain has moved south and, like so many on here, they don't read any of the text in your profile so send their missive over

Nina xx

Oh, you know i did wonder if i gave off a submissive look, so thanks for that. Best get some better pics arranged then, lol.

The collar is just my long hair.

Just looked at your other pics and can see your hair now there are some great pics there already, bet one of the pics of your foot would help get messages from male subs the first one looks really good x"

Yeah, good idea. And i might do a nice foot pic or better shoe pic and upload it when i'm available in the morning, thanks.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inaTitzTV/TS  over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I get the odd guy message me, making a big announcement of being 'dom'. Just because I'm TG, it doesn't mean I'm sub or anything. To me, sub is something in Das Boot. I've found that the more someone bigs up being dom, the more plastic they are with it. The genuine ones don't seem to feel the need to make a big thing of it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ady G and GTCouple  over a year ago

Coventry

No dom or sub for us

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Dom,bull,cuckold,all an instant delete/ignore from us.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Doesn't bother us as Natalie is Dom

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ruitWoman  over a year ago

near kings lynn


"Dom,bull,cuckold,all an instant delete/ignore from us."

Same for me. Sub is also an off put for me too x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Dom,bull,cuckold,all an instant delete/ignore from us.

Same for me. Sub is also an off put for me too x"

Same for me on my couples profile anyone we meet will be on even ground with no one taking charge or being told what to do.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I get the odd guy message me, making a big announcement of being 'dom'. Just because I'm TG, it doesn't mean I'm sub or anything. To me, sub is something in Das Boot. I've found that the more someone bigs up being dom, the more plastic they are with it. The genuine ones don't seem to feel the need to make a big thing of it. "

I've often wondered if some bring it to the swinging scene because they were unsuccessful in the fetish scene?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes as I feel if a guy needs to have it in his name or in big letters then he isn't the type of dominant male I'd want contact with.

Not that I look for it but helps me avoid

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes as I feel if a guy needs to have it in his name or in big letters then he isn't the type of dominant male I'd want contact with.

Not that I look for it but helps me avoid"

agree with the above

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We just want a man to chat up and suduce / satisfy then pleasure her. Not dominate or cuckold . So the Dom, bull or cuck thing doesn't press our buttons.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *illyjohnyCouple  over a year ago

brighton


"Oh yes, big put off same with bull "
Same here

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Not that I would but to me if I was going to, its the context that's used that makes the difference between a dom and a pretender

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys.

It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about."

Mainly because the kinda guys who think they are "doms" but actually have no experience/idea are the same ones who can't read. Rather like the bi/gay guys who message me asking to suck my cock because they like to suck straight men!

Guess what...no guy has EVER sucked of a straight guy...

If people actually read profiles...and responded (or not) appropriately then half or more of the gripes on this site would disappear over night.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *horshiperMan  over a year ago

London

I suppose it depends what you are looking for

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *adybee77Woman  over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

I am very submissive to the right person, but I will not sub to anyone off fab.

Its about trust, and a special relationship.

My fab meets are equal.

My submission is a very special gift that resides with someone I trust implicitly, that I respect and have a deep fondness for.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *horshiperMan  over a year ago

London


"I am very submissive to the right person, but I will not sub to anyone off fab.

Its about trust, and a special relationship.

My fab meets are equal.

My submission is a very special gift that resides with someone I trust implicitly, that I respect and have a deep fondness for. "

Agreed I am a switch but have been in relationships where I am sub but it has to be based on trust

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Puts me off and makes me do an eyeroll

I don't recall and real Doms contacting me or using the word on their profiles/as usernames. Just the guys who think it means bossing a woman around, being rough and expecting me to respond to their ridiculous messages where they tell me what they intend to do "to" me, etc. and that such a relationship, "relationship" or dynamic is something that is forced on me as the woman. *insert major eyeroll here.

Could of course be just my experience.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *umpleteazerWoman  over a year ago

Flintshire


"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys.

It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about."

I've put I am not looking for dominant guys and I still get them

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icentious OP   Couple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"I get the odd guy message me, making a big announcement of being 'dom'. Just because I'm TG, it doesn't mean I'm sub or anything. To me, sub is something in Das Boot. I've found that the more someone bigs up being dom, the more plastic they are with it. The genuine ones don't seem to feel the need to make a big thing of it.

I've often wondered if some bring it to the swinging scene because they were unsuccessful in the fetish scene?"

Mmmm interesting thought.

I spent time on the other site, however struggled with it. One it was so damned difficult to navigate and Two, so damned serious.

I hold a maxim: if it's not fun then why the hell are you doing it.

I'm I bringing my sexual fet into swinging, no, I'm bring me and what I am.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yep. The word Dom is an instant No from us, There are other words too.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ill1948Man  over a year ago

lincoln

Yes all I what is some one nice and lots of sex mmmmmxx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys.

It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about.

I've put I am not looking for dominant guys and I still get them "

I removed the not looking for dominant from my profile and got less. Am thinking maybe they just search for the keyword 'dominant' then didn't bother reading our profiles?

But yeah i don't like so block them as well, kind of scared of them but it probably is just they did the above and aren't trying to force dommes to submit or anything...if you give them a chance then you'll never know but i don't want to take that risk.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icentious OP   Couple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys.

It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about.

I've put I am not looking for dominant guys and I still get them

I removed the not looking for dominant from my profile and got less. Am thinking maybe they just search for the keyword 'dominant' then didn't bother reading our profiles?

But yeah i don't like so block them as well, kind of scared of them but it probably is just they did the above and aren't trying to force dommes to submit or anything...if you give them a chance then you'll never know but i don't want to take that risk."

I suspect people who don't know, don't understand and possibly see you as a little bit of a blinkered masculine challenge - just a thought.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I suspect people who don't know, don't understand and possibly see you as a little bit of a blinkered masculine challenge - just a thought. "

Maybe, but they always say they want to submit to me for a change of scene (which is understandable) but then i look at their profile and it's completely all about being them dominant and i just don't trust them. Also, after giving this information out publicly, even if their profile said they were interested in trying submission for a change then i still wouldn't trust them.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icentious OP   Couple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"

I suspect people who don't know, don't understand and possibly see you as a little bit of a blinkered masculine challenge - just a thought.

Maybe, but they always say they want to submit to me for a change of scene (which is understandable) but then i look at their profile and it's completely all about being them dominant and i just don't trust them. Also, after giving this information out publicly, even if their profile said they were interested in trying submission for a change then i still wouldn't trust them."

Incongruence reveals many things

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I suspect people who don't know, don't understand and possibly see you as a little bit of a blinkered masculine challenge - just a thought.

Maybe, but they always say they want to submit to me for a change of scene (which is understandable) but then i look at their profile and it's completely all about being them dominant and i just don't trust them. Also, after giving this information out publicly, even if their profile said they were interested in trying submission for a change then i still wouldn't trust them.

Incongruence reveals many things "

Like what?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icentious OP   Couple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"

I suspect people who don't know, don't understand and possibly see you as a little bit of a blinkered masculine challenge - just a thought.

Maybe, but they always say they want to submit to me for a change of scene (which is understandable) but then i look at their profile and it's completely all about being them dominant and i just don't trust them. Also, after giving this information out publicly, even if their profile said they were interested in trying submission for a change then i still wouldn't trust them.

Incongruence reveals many things

Like what?"

Not walking their talk, dissidence in values, miss held beliefs. quiet often, even the person who is being incongruent doesn't recognise this.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

depends how its meant and used

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes that and master wtf is that about sorry but we find that a definite no no

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icentious OP   Couple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"depends how its meant and used "

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

" Dom in a profile stop people from contacting them?"

Depends on if your name is Dominic.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I suspect people who don't know, don't understand and possibly see you as a little bit of a blinkered masculine challenge - just a thought.

Maybe, but they always say they want to submit to me for a change of scene (which is understandable) but then i look at their profile and it's completely all about being them dominant and i just don't trust them. Also, after giving this information out publicly, even if their profile said they were interested in trying submission for a change then i still wouldn't trust them.

Incongruence reveals many things

Like what?

Not walking their talk, dissidence in values, miss held beliefs. quiet often, even the person who is being incongruent doesn't recognise this. "

Ah ok. Think i get you, that applies to me? I'm just not as physically strong as what i used to be so worried about being overpowered, most of these guys are physically huge.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icentious OP   Couple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"

I suspect people who don't know, don't understand and possibly see you as a little bit of a blinkered masculine challenge - just a thought.

Maybe, but they always say they want to submit to me for a change of scene (which is understandable) but then i look at their profile and it's completely all about being them dominant and i just don't trust them. Also, after giving this information out publicly, even if their profile said they were interested in trying submission for a change then i still wouldn't trust them.

Incongruence reveals many things

Like what?

Not walking their talk, dissidence in values, miss held beliefs. quiet often, even the person who is being incongruent doesn't recognise this.

Ah ok. Think i get you, that applies to me? I'm just not as physically strong as what i used to be so worried about being overpowered, most of these guys are physically huge."

Think we both know the mind is more powerful then physical strength.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I suspect people who don't know, don't understand and possibly see you as a little bit of a blinkered masculine challenge - just a thought.

Maybe, but they always say they want to submit to me for a change of scene (which is understandable) but then i look at their profile and it's completely all about being them dominant and i just don't trust them. Also, after giving this information out publicly, even if their profile said they were interested in trying submission for a change then i still wouldn't trust them.

Incongruence reveals many things

Like what?

Not walking their talk, dissidence in values, miss held beliefs. quiet often, even the person who is being incongruent doesn't recognise this.

Ah ok. Think i get you, that applies to me? I'm just not as physically strong as what i used to be so worried about being overpowered, most of these guys are physically huge.

Think we both know the mind is more powerful then physical strength. "

Exactly and thanks for that because

i worked out why i go for submissive guys today anyway, and it works for me.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The term Dom would put me off a profile because I'm not looking for one and have found in chatting to men who claim to be Dom that they're mostly anything but

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Dom in a profile stop people from contacting them?

Just a thought around if it held negative connotations."

I wouldn't be interested in someone claiming to be Dom or a bull or whatever. Tried meeting a few and all of them were dumb ass wannabes.

Tried Dom sessions with quite a few males and females in clubs and found the same.

Experience varies massively. I've found an experienced Dom will spot my potential a mile off.

So in answer to your question; a claim on a profile would put me off. Yes.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It kinda does even though I've been in a genuine d/s relationship, the reason being is that dynamic takes time to build and huge amount of trust. I've had guys who were my type messaging me suggesting the things that me and my ex used to do and I've been wary because I don't even know the person.

I don't think d/s is something that's compatible with swinging or casual meets. It's something way deeper than that.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icentious OP   Couple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"It kinda does even though I've been in a genuine d/s relationship, the reason being is that dynamic takes time to build and huge amount of trust. I've had guys who were my type messaging me suggesting the things that me and my ex used to do and I've been wary because I don't even know the person.

I don't think d/s is something that's compatible with swinging or casual meets. It's something way deeper than that."

Mmm I think that the term Dom seems to be generalised into "one size fit all" mentality, hence the bad connotation.

This form of interaction, to me, involve two people, where the attention is focused their needs, and that's not the Dom instant gratification.

Acuity around the "dance' is imperative as the dance changes with mood and personality and yes, it needs to be built.

Well to me anyway.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If you want to be dominant, you don't want to meet people that aren't into domination. Think it's probably wise to offer an explanation of the extent to which you want to dominate. My profile makes it clear I'm dominant, but I'm not into anything extreme, just taking control, works for me

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icentious OP   Couple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"If you want to be dominant, you don't want to meet people that aren't into domination. Think it's probably wise to offer an explanation of the extent to which you want to dominate. My profile makes it clear I'm dominant, but I'm not into anything extreme, just taking control, works for me "

Binomial distribution, wheres the mean

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icentious OP   Couple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Hey, thanks for the feedback.

I don't want my preference to get in the way of Sue's exploration, hence the question.

Modified the profile, a little.

Mirror marketing is not a very good trait

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Kinda does me a little

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *S_PennyTV/TS  over a year ago

Selby


"I get the odd guy message me, making a big announcement of being 'dom'. Just because I'm TG, it doesn't mean I'm sub or anything. To me, sub is something in Das Boot. I've found that the more someone bigs up being dom, the more plastic they are with it. The genuine ones don't seem to feel the need to make a big thing of it. "

To be honest I think because I've put Im Domme a lot of guys seem to like it. Shame I'm not looking for them generally.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Puts me off and makes me do an eyeroll

I don't recall and real Doms contacting me or using the word on their profiles/as usernames. Just the guys who think it means bossing a woman around, being rough and expecting me to respond to their ridiculous messages where they tell me what they intend to do "to" me, etc. and that such a relationship, "relationship" or dynamic is something that is forced on me as the woman. *insert major eyeroll here.

Could of course be just my experience."

Quoting my own quote but I'm not always put off by genuinely dominant guys. Just the ones I previously described who claim to be from the off. Yes, there is a difference - in my book anyway

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

  

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am very submissive to the right person, but I will not sub to anyone off fab.

Its about trust, and a special relationship.

My fab meets are equal.

My submission is a very special gift that resides with someone I trust implicitly, that I respect and have a deep fondness for. "

this sums up exactly how I feel. Avoid anyone who declares dom and instantly block those who decide to message saying they'll dominate me/use me like the slut I am etc.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic

0.0937

0