FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > A little frustrated with fabswingers
A little frustrated with fabswingers
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Evening all, i hope this post doesn't come across too whiny, it really isn't meant to be, just after a little advice.
First things first, i know my profile isn't very long or informative, i have no intention of posting private things in public, that is for private chat or PMs, i don't think that is particularly unreasonable.
I have sent a few messages (with face photo) and around half have been deleted outright, thats cool because i know whats what. However the other half are read but not deleted, and not replied to, i know the female members must get alot of messages, but some of mine are now getting on for a month old, i havn't tended to send winks or friends requests as i don't want to be pushy and i have tended to delete sent messages lately and just wait for a reply. This is now causing me a problem as ive lost track of those who may have been interested and those who are definately not.
Anyway any advice those on the forum can give would be aprecciated. |
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I think that it's best to take no response as not interested too. If they do eventually respond its a bonus.
We sometimes take over a week to reply to messages and that must be annoying for the original sender.
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"My advice is to assume that if you haven't had a reply then they are not interested. "
Agree with this! If they were interested, they would have responded,  regardless of age of the message if read! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you for the replies everyone, don't understand why someone would not delete the message if they were not interested though.
Anyway thanks again all. |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"Thank you for the replies everyone, don't understand why someone would not delete the message if they were not interested though.
Anyway thanks again all."
Lots of people don't bother deleting messages after they have been read. There is no need to as the site does it automatically after a certain period of time. |
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I try to reply to all mails and do tend to get 'repeat' mails.
If you are sending mails and unsure if you have mailed them before possibly say that in your mail?
A 'please forgive me if I have contacted you before' sort if thing.
If your mail gets deleted I would then possibly block them to save mailing them again. |
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As others have said take a no reply as not interested.
However there is nothing on your profile to tempt them to reply, you ask on your profile to contact you for anymore info, but people wont do that. Your profile is YOUR chance to sell yourself and tempt people to want to know more, but it doesn't do that at the moment. |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
I am sorry to say that it took me 3 seconds to view your profile!
A lot of people view a profile before opening a message. If I was to get a message from you I would delete it outright after viewing your severely lacking profile.
What you do not realise is that your profile sells you.
If you were a car being sold in a shop all you would have is maybe a picture of the dashboard and the title being "car for sale"
It's the shops that people can view the item being sold and see a decent description of the car that will bring people in to actually ask more about the car.
Sorry to describe you as a car though.
Do you really expect people to be keen to respond to you with so little effort in your profile.? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I try to reply to all mails and do tend to get 'repeat' mails.
If you are sending mails and unsure if you have mailed them before possibly say that in your mail?
A 'please forgive me if I have contacted you before' sort if thing.
If your mail gets deleted I would then possibly block them to save mailing them again."
Thanks for the reply, i don't want to send repeat mails, just wondering why messages were not deleted and if i was expected to send more mails with with more detail, auto delete explains that one.
Thanks again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As others have said take a no reply as not interested.
However there is nothing on your profile to tempt them to reply, you ask on your profile to contact you for anymore info, but people wont do that. Your profile is YOUR chance to sell yourself and tempt people to want to know more, but it doesn't do that at the moment."
Very true there doesn't appear to have been a lot of effort in the profile.
Photos are well...
And, stating the obvious of course, a lot of people will take one look at the cannot accommodate bit and just pass the profile.
The old thing of 'effort in=results out' works every time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are the only mate. i send a lot of mails and very rare i get a reply. i never rude or send pics of my penis apart from face thats all but like someone said here jut move on init, i suppose women here are picking and choosing so...not easy especially for single lads |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I am sorry to say that it took me 3 seconds to view your profile!
A lot of people view a profile before opening a message. If I was to get a message from you I would delete it outright after viewing your severely lacking profile.
What you do not realise is that your profile sells you.
If you were a car being sold in a shop all you would have is maybe a picture of the dashboard and the title being "car for sale"
It's the shops that people can view the item being sold and see a decent description of the car that will bring people in to actually ask more about the car.
Sorry to describe you as a car though.
Do you really expect people to be keen to respond to you with so little effort in your profile.?"
Thanks for replying, yes i know the curt profile is not the best way to do things, however like i said in the OP im not going to post private stuff in public. A short message with my pic should be enough to know if you want to know more, i don't thing thats unreasonable, im happy to accept that others may think it is.
Thanks again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Evening all, i hope this post doesn't come across too whiny, it really isn't meant to be, just after a little advice.
First things first, i know my profile isn't very long or informative, i have no intention of posting private things in public, that is for private chat or PMs, i don't think that is particularly unreasonable.
I have sent a few messages (with face photo) and around half have been deleted outright, thats cool because i know whats what. However the other half are read but not deleted, and not replied to, i know the female members must get alot of messages, but some of mine are now getting on for a month old, i havn't tended to send winks or friends requests as i don't want to be pushy and i have tended to delete sent messages lately and just wait for a reply. This is now causing me a problem as ive lost track of those who may have been interested and those who are definately not.
Anyway any advice those on the forum can give would be aprecciated."
There is a spelling mistake on your profile and if you can't make sure you'd got that detail right...
Also, I'm sure you could write a little bit more on your profile, such as a vague outline of your sexual interests...
You may not understand why you need to, but understand it helps others decide what they like and you are competing with many other men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The way I see it fella is this place is full of single guys and woman can afford to pick and choose, and fair play, guys would do the same.
However if you were out 'on the pull' would you always go to the same bar if you knew it was mostly full of guys? There are many other sites that you can go on, FAB shouldn't be your only source of action...if you get my meaning  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am sorry to say that it took me 3 seconds to view your profile!
A lot of people view a profile before opening a message. If I was to get a message from you I would delete it outright after viewing your severely lacking profile.
What you do not realise is that your profile sells you.
If you were a car being sold in a shop all you would have is maybe a picture of the dashboard and the title being "car for sale"
It's the shops that people can view the item being sold and see a decent description of the car that will bring people in to actually ask more about the car.
Sorry to describe you as a car though.
Do you really expect people to be keen to respond to you with so little effort in your profile.?
Thanks for replying, yes i know the curt profile is not the best way to do things, however like i said in the OP im not going to post private stuff in public. A short message with my pic should be enough to know if you want to know more, i don't thing thats unreasonable, im happy to accept that others may think it is.
Thanks again."
You carry on as your doing , after all its less competition for the other guys that make an effort  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My advice is to assume that if you haven't had a reply then they are not interested. "
A lot don't and ask why you didn't answer its one of the most off-putting things people can do and switches you off them totally. In general if someone has read and is interested they will reply at some point. |
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"I am sorry to say that it took me 3 seconds to view your profile!
A lot of people view a profile before opening a message. If I was to get a message from you I would delete it outright after viewing your severely lacking profile.
What you do not realise is that your profile sells you.
If you were a car being sold in a shop all you would have is maybe a picture of the dashboard and the title being "car for sale"
It's the shops that people can view the item being sold and see a decent description of the car that will bring people in to actually ask more about the car.
Sorry to describe you as a car though.
Do you really expect people to be keen to respond to you with so little effort in your profile.?
Thanks for replying, yes i know the curt profile is not the best way to do things, however like i said in the OP im not going to post private stuff in public. A short message with my pic should be enough to know if you want to know more, i don't thing thats unreasonable, im happy to accept that others may think it is.
Thanks again."
The thing is a photo isn't enough, like has already been said, even if they did read your message and like the photo, they will look at your profile and pass you by, as its not appealing.
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"My advice is to assume that if you haven't had a reply then they are not interested.
A lot don't and ask why you didn't answer its one of the most off-putting things people can do and switches you off them totally. In general if someone has read and is interested they will reply at some point."
In that case then, if they're too pig ignorant to realise what a no reply to their message means, then they deserve what they get - which is nothing. I apologise if this post sounds a trifle ranty but basic real life social skills tell us if you speak to someone and they ignore you, do you speak to someone else or do you keep badgering them for a reply? A reply, if it ever comes, would be more along the lines of 'fuck off' rather than 'fuck me'. it's really not a difficult concept to grasp. |
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"My advice is to assume that if you haven't had a reply then they are not interested.
A lot don't and ask why you didn't answer its one of the most off-putting things people can do and switches you off them totally. In general if someone has read and is interested they will reply at some point."
Especially when they put a time limit on it! like "I saw you read my mail 6 hours ago and I haven't heard back"... fuck off, we dont sit here all day you know! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The thing is a photo isn't enough, like has already been said, even if they did read your message and like the photo, they will look at your profile and pass you by, as its not appealing."
Thanks for the reply, cant understand why if you like the PM and photo why the profile is important, why not just ask in a PM?
Thanks for the advice though its appreciated, ill see what i can do with my profile over the weekend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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'Looking for NSA fun and games, face pic sent on request and always with PMs, i would like to especially meet single ladies or couples {mf,ff).
Don't know why some people expect a full profile and life history in public view, if you are interested just ask in a PM!'
That is your full profile.
Ask yourself this, if you were reading it, what would you find interesting in it to make you want to PM the poster?
There isn't anything in it, is there?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Would just like to mention i have not re-sent mails, sent multiple mails to one person, sent PMs asking why someone hasn't replied or sent PMs asking why my message was deleted.
Just to clarify. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am sorry to say that it took me 3 seconds to view your profile!
A lot of people view a profile before opening a message. If I was to get a message from you I would delete it outright after viewing your severely lacking profile.
What you do not realise is that your profile sells you.
If you were a car being sold in a shop all you would have is maybe a picture of the dashboard and the title being "car for sale"
It's the shops that people can view the item being sold and see a decent description of the car that will bring people in to actually ask more about the car.
Sorry to describe you as a car though.
Do you really expect people to be keen to respond to you with so little effort in your profile.?"
May I sound my horn ? Xx |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Would just like to mention i have not re-sent mails, sent multiple mails to one person, sent PMs asking why someone hasn't replied or sent PMs asking why my message was deleted.
Just to clarify."
But still complaining knowing your profile is crap  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Don't know why some people expect a full profile and life history in public view, if you are interested just ask in a PM!'
"
Not expecting your life history but as previous posters have advised, at least give a few lines about your likes
Your comment is also quite abrupt  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People like to see if there is something to connect with rather than wasting time getting to know someone that ultimately doesn't flick their switch.
And to be honest, to me it looks like you will keep your options open and tailor your likes and dislikes to match whoever you are messaging.
You don't see why you need a full profile, why would anyone feel compelled to drag the info out of you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they reply...they are interested (unless a polite "no thanks" - this would indicate your messages are ok but you/profile are not to their liking)
If they delete...not interested
If they don't reply....not interested (same thing)
If ALL are deleted/no reply then problem is with messages AS WELL as with you/profile.
If you are not whining BUT don't wish to put more into your profile then sending messages, or even being on here, is wasting your time.
You don't need advice, you have said yourself that your profile lacks substance. Until you sort that out then no point. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If they reply...they are interested (unless a polite "no thanks" - this would indicate your messages are ok but you/profile are not to their liking)
If they delete...not interested
If they don't reply....not interested (same thing)
If ALL are deleted/no reply then problem is with messages AS WELL as with you/profile.
If you are not whining BUT don't wish to put more into your profile then sending messages, or even being on here, is wasting your time.
You don't need advice, you have said yourself that your profile lacks substance. Until you sort that out then no point."
Thanks for the reply, its appreciated. |
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"Evening all, i hope this post doesn't come across too whiny, it really isn't meant to be, just after a little advice.
First things first, i know my profile isn't very long or informative, i have no intention of posting private things in public, that is for private chat or PMs, i don't think that is particularly unreasonable.
I have sent a few messages (with face photo) and around half have been deleted outright, thats cool because i know whats what. However the other half are read but not deleted, and not replied to, i know the female members must get alot of messages, but some of mine are now getting on for a month old, i havn't tended to send winks or friends requests as i don't want to be pushy and i have tended to delete sent messages lately and just wait for a reply. This is now causing me a problem as ive lost track of those who may have been interested and those who are definately not.
Anyway any advice those on the forum can give would be aprecciated."
. People are not required to post private information on their profile .What is required is an informative profile with hobbies and interests in order that people can judge what type of person you are . As people can pick and choose a profile with no information will just be ignored . Your profile is your opportunity to market yourself in a highly competitive market. In addition a variety of pictures are usually required . |
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"I am sorry to say that it took me 3 seconds to view your profile!
A lot of people view a profile before opening a message. If I was to get a message from you I would delete it outright after viewing your severely lacking profile.
What you do not realise is that your profile sells you.
If you were a car being sold in a shop all you would have is maybe a picture of the dashboard and the title being "car for sale"
It's the shops that people can view the item being sold and see a decent description of the car that will bring people in to actually ask more about the car.
Sorry to describe you as a car though.
Do you really expect people to be keen to respond to you with so little effort in your profile.?"
Simply: this!
I always read the profile before the message. If there's no information I delete the message unread!
My life won't be long enough for me to waste it extracting basic information from people too damned lazy to complete a profile. It they find that too taxing they sure as hell won't be able to keep up with me and Goliath!  |
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By *ussypussWoman
over a year ago
South Birmingham waiting for the bf to come back after crimbo |
There is a way of knowing whether you've messaged someone before!!
When you open a profile, take a look in what I like to call the lefthand margin, there are things like 'you/they winked xxdays/weeks/months ago', 'you/they messaged xxdays/weeks/months ago' and 'you are friends'.
These little notes stay there irrespective how long ago these things took place.
It is a bit basic coz it doesn't go into any greater detail than this bit it is a nice easy way of knowing whether anyone has previously tried to make contact
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Because if you hit delete when you've read it, assuming your not on a phone it takes you to the next unread message. Sometimes I don't want to do that. So, I like a lot of people do a mass delete when I feel like it. Much, much easier to tick a lot of meshes and delete that way.IIt's a bit like a pizza company posting you a leaflet, a week later do they ring you and ask why you're not ordering? Nope, they assume you don't like pizza or gone somewhere else. Why get hung up on the people that don't want to meet. Put your time and energy into the ones that do. |
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"The thing is a photo isn't enough, like has already been said, even if they did read your message and like the photo, they will look at your profile and pass you by, as its not appealing.
Thanks for the reply, cant understand why if you like the PM and photo why the profile is important, why not just ask in a PM?
Thanks for the advice though its appreciated, ill see what i can do with my profile over the weekend."
Well your approach clearly isnt working is it? So why try and argue against good advice  |
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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
I don't know how everyone else does it but when I get a message I look at the persons profile before I open it. If the profile has no picture (not necessarily a face pic, it could have a torso, chest, bottom, back) I am already unlikely to answer much more than 'thanks for your message but I am not interested'.
If I read the text and it basically says 'I am not putting anything about me here but if you want to know then ask' the lack of pic and text would not make me interested.....so I would not ask.
I think if you had a basic pic, make it a funny one if you like.....the back of your head, your big thumb...anything and a little bit about you so people can get a feel of if they would want to begin interaction it might help you.
I hope it works out for you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There is a way of knowing whether you've messaged someone before!!
When you open a profile, take a look in what I like to call the lefthand margin, there are things like 'you/they winked xxdays/weeks/months ago', 'you/they messaged xxdays/weeks/months ago' and 'you are friends'.
These little notes stay there irrespective how long ago these things took place.
It is a bit basic coz it doesn't go into any greater detail than this bit it is a nice easy way of knowing whether anyone has previously tried to make contact
"
Thanks for the tip! You're a star. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always delete messages from my sent mail as soon as I've sent them, I'm not going to worry about what the recipient has done to it, you'll either get a reply or you won't. Concentrate on your in box, not your sent mail. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't know how everyone else does it but when I get a message I look at the persons profile before I open it. If the profile has no picture (not necessarily a face pic, it could have a torso, chest, bottom, back) I am already unlikely to answer much more than 'thanks for your message but I am not interested'.
If I read the text and it basically says 'I am not putting anything about me here but if you want to know then ask' the lack of pic and text would not make me interested.....so I would not ask.
I think if you had a basic pic, make it a funny one if you like.....the back of your head, your big thumb...anything and a little bit about you so people can get a feel of if they would want to begin interaction it might help you.
I hope it works out for you "
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I delete many a message without reading them and woild not take offence if I were then blocked. Blocking them you can avoid sending more messages where not wanted.
As for unanswered and not deleted....
Sometimes I've done that as been distracted and then forgotten to reply or taken a few days. Another message similar to the first wouldn't bother me but if it was from someone I just didn't delete the message of I would then block them. Not to be rude but just to save time.
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"I don't know how everyone else does it but when I get a message I look at the persons profile before I open it. If the profile has no picture (not necessarily a face pic, it could have a torso, chest, bottom, back) I am already unlikely to answer much more than 'thanks for your message but I am not interested'.
If I read the text and it basically says 'I am not putting anything about me here but if you want to know then ask' the lack of pic and text would not make me interested.....so I would not ask.
I think if you had a basic pic, make it a funny one if you like.....the back of your head, your big thumb...anything and a little bit about you so people can get a feel of if they would want to begin interaction it might help you.
I hope it works out for you "
What she said
I personally would just delete without reading as there is nothing on your profile to entice me. Also because you smoke |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am sorry to say that it took me 3 seconds to view your profile!
A lot of people view a profile before opening a message. If I was to get a message from you I would delete it outright after viewing your severely lacking profile.
What you do not realise is that your profile sells you.
If you were a car being sold in a shop all you would have is maybe a picture of the dashboard and the title being "car for sale"
It's the shops that people can view the item being sold and see a decent description of the car that will bring people in to actually ask more about the car.
Sorry to describe you as a car though.
Do you really expect people to be keen to respond to you with so little effort in your profile.?
Thanks for replying, yes i know the curt profile is not the best way to do things, however like i said in the OP im not going to post private stuff in public. A short message with my pic should be enough to know if you want to know more, i don't thing thats unreasonable, im happy to accept that others may think it is.
Thanks again.You carry on as your doing , after all its less competition for the other guys that make an effort "
this
Some of us make the effort...worth it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know how you feel welcome to fabs. Ive had 1 meet since being here. Couples and single ladies tend to have all the cards so to speak. The male to female count is horrendous on here. Just persevere you will find someone eventually. There has to be 2 way attraction at the end of the day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am sorry to say that it took me 3 seconds to view your profile!
A lot of people view a profile before opening a message. If I was to get a message from you I would delete it outright after viewing your severely lacking profile.
What you do not realise is that your profile sells you.
If you were a car being sold in a shop all you would have is maybe a picture of the dashboard and the title being "car for sale"
It's the shops that people can view the item being sold and see a decent description of the car that will bring people in to actually ask more about the car.
Sorry to describe you as a car though.
Do you really expect people to be keen to respond to you with so little effort in your profile.?
Thanks for replying, yes i know the curt profile is not the best way to do things, however like i said in the OP im not going to post private stuff in public. A short message with my pic should be enough to know if you want to know more, i don't thing thats unreasonable, im happy to accept that others may think it is.
Thanks again."
The problem is with that is many people will see a message from you and click Your profile fist before looking at your message, if your profile puts them off then offer your message won't get read.
Why do you keep going on about personal stuff? Your trying to attract someone so tell them what you like and what you can offer a potential meet. Your looking for excuses not solutions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First rule of fab for a single bloke is DON'T GET PISSED OFF BY IT!!!!!! Lol
If your profile's shit and uninformative how can you expect a woman to make an informative decision. After all she's the one opening her legs up! Not you!!
Or meeting you for a coffee..........if you're going to get all "I'm not here for that"!
What's better than a well written profile?? Pictures!!!
So, do a profile pic. I'd advise against a cock pic unless you've got the banter to back it up. And a few on friends only. And just be normal!!! Fab is so fucking easy if you're normal!
My advice? Make a friend first before you fuck them. It's nicer that way.
Just saying mind you, I ain't your dad go do what you thinks best. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thing is a photo isn't enough, like has already been said, even if they did read your message and like the photo, they will look at your profile and pass you by, as its not appealing.
Thanks for the reply, cant understand why if you like the PM and photo why the profile is important, why not just ask in a PM?
Thanks for the advice though its appreciated, ill see what i can do with my profile over the weekend.
Well your approach clearly isnt working is it? So why try and argue against good advice "
Exactly.
I'm not sure I can add anything which hasn't already been said. You are seeking feedback as you are disillusioned as to your success rate but then you are firmly against a detailed profile giving out information.
Whilst I acknowledge the need for privacy, I am not sure people will recognize me through my profile or what I write in the same. It is not as if someone can say 'that guy is into rimming, that must be Dave Coaches'
If I was a female on here and I had the option of a guy who tells me about himself or one who expects me to message to find out more, to then possibly found out we don't click, then I know who I would choose.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In a similar boat as the op......they say god loves a trier, but everyone else seems to think I'm a cunt."
Two thirds of your profile is a moan. Yes a well written moan, but nonetheless a moan |
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By *not69Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"The thing is a photo isn't enough, like has already been said, even if they did read your message and like the photo, they will look at your profile and pass you by, as its not appealing.
Thanks for the reply, cant understand why if you like the PM and photo why the profile is important, why not just ask in a PM?
Thanks for the advice though its appreciated, ill see what i can do with my profile over the weekend."
Women out number men 100-1 on this site, so its been said. It they view your profile and then one thats obviously has some thought put into it they arent going to go to all the effort of trying to get you to open up about yourself when its far easier to read the other profile and reply to them. Put no offort in, get nothing out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In a similar boat as the op......they say god loves a trier, but everyone else seems to think I'm a cunt."
The first paragraph of your profile goes into detail about how attractive you are to gay men who want to suck your cock. Frankly, that isn't going to get most women reaching for the 'message' button. And why not filter messages from men out if you are such a 'gay honeypot'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In a similar boat as the op......they say god loves a trier, but everyone else seems to think I'm a cunt.
The first paragraph of your profile goes into detail about how attractive you are to gay men who want to suck your cock. Frankly, that isn't going to get most women reaching for the 'message' button. And why not filter messages from men out if you are such a 'gay honeypot'."
More like a chocolate pot.
and making a friend before you fuck thenlm is an excellent idea. However, if you dont get an inital response it's very difficult to build a friendship.....there is always an imaginary girlfriend.
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"In a similar boat as the op......they say god loves a trier, but everyone else seems to think I'm a cunt."
Your profile is AWFUL, one of the worst ive saw
Take a little time to read your profile???? What a sense of entitlement you have of yourself, dont tell people what to do with their time, but by "forcing" people to read, its probably a bad thing as your profile is that terrible and off putting i cant see any female on this site ever replying to you
Lose the self entitlement!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In a similar boat as the op......they say god loves a trier, but everyone else seems to think I'm a cunt.
Two thirds of your profile is a moan. Yes a well written moan, but nonetheless a moan"
Yes, a little off putting. You put be courteous and reply as its sole destroying. Would an inbox full of no thanks messages not be then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In a similar boat as the op......they say god loves a trier, but everyone else seems to think I'm a cunt.
Two thirds of your profile is a moan. Yes a well written moan, but nonetheless a moan
Yes, a little off putting. You put be courteous and reply as its sole destroying. Would an inbox full of no thanks messages not be then?"
For me, it wouldn't be as bad, maybe a smidging of my soul may remain intact.
With regards to a sense of entitlement, I dont think there is a sense of entitlement in my profile, I ask rather than command. A majority of ladies and couples profiles ask the reader to "read the entire profile" I assume its so they dont get people wasting their time. Asking the person who voluntarily clicked on my profile to read it I dont think is out of order. |
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"In a similar boat as the op......they say god loves a trier, but everyone else seems to think I'm a cunt.
Two thirds of your profile is a moan. Yes a well written moan, but nonetheless a moan
Yes, a little off putting. You put be courteous and reply as its sole destroying. Would an inbox full of no thanks messages not be then?
For me, it wouldn't be as bad, maybe a smidging of my soul may remain intact.
With regards to a sense of entitlement, I dont think there is a sense of entitlement in my profile, I ask rather than command. A majority of ladies and couples profiles ask the reader to "read the entire profile" I assume its so they dont get people wasting their time. Asking the person who voluntarily clicked on my profile to read it I dont think is out of order."
Ladies usually ask from the ones who msg them showing an interest
You are saying it to the people who you message who dont reply, again you interested and not them so why should they |
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"In a similar boat as the op......they say god loves a trier, but everyone else seems to think I'm a cunt.
Two thirds of your profile is a moan. Yes a well written moan, but nonetheless a moan
Yes, a little off putting. You put be courteous and reply as its sole destroying. Would an inbox full of no thanks messages not be then?
For me, it wouldn't be as bad, maybe a smidging of my soul may remain intact.
With regards to a sense of entitlement, I dont think there is a sense of entitlement in my profile, I ask rather than command. A majority of ladies and couples profiles ask the reader to "read the entire profile" I assume its so they dont get people wasting their time. Asking the person who voluntarily clicked on my profile to read it I dont think is out of order."
When i was meeting: i wanted anyone who messaged me to have read my profile so they know what im looking for
You however are expecting the people whom you message, read your profile and reply to your interest not theirs, can you not see the difference in that seriously?? |
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"Im not expecting people to meet me, or feign an interest that isnt there. Just a "thanks but no thanks""
Lower your expectations then coz its not gona happen
But u are insisting people u msg all read your profile, maybe you should take that bit out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you are missing a but in the sentence mentioning your ability to accom and so forth.
I also think you should drop the 'please put xxxx to show you have read this'.
Whilst I understand the intention behind it, it is primarily used by couples and females who get bombarded with emails. They therefore are in advantage in that they can be choosy with who they reply to.
Using it as a single guy just will not work. For a start you will not get bombarded with messages so it is not needed. Additionally it does give off the impression of heightened self worth. Whilst I would never suggest people lower their standards, as a single guy on this site you have to accept that you will always be doing the chasing and that not everything will be on your terms
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Additionally, I would be very surprised if you receive many messages where the convo is initiated by a single fem or couple. Whilst it happens, it does not happen often. If you want to succeed, you will have to do the majority of the running (messaging) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the replies all (or most of you anyway), cannot say that many of the profiles that i have viewed tell me much more than mine does, my interests are already on the profile under "interests" sorry if that has confused anyone . I'm really after meeting up with with single female members and i guess thats going to be an uphill battle, i will look at working on a better profile in the next few days. Thanks for the advice, but at the moment this site is far harder work than meeting randoms in pubs.
Take care all and thanks again. |
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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago
Bedworth |
" i will look at working on a better profile in the next few days. Thanks for the advice, but at the moment this site is far harder work than meeting randoms in pubs.
"
The sooner the better really.
The reason for it being easier to pick up randoms in pubs is that they can see you, see your body language and get a feel for your personality. On fab all we have is a few words on a profile and maybe a pic or two. Your profile has to sell your personality, in the same way as cheeky banter in a pub does.
After all, if us ladies wanted something with no personally to give us a quick organisation we'd stick with just our vibrators |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Actually, I don't mind your profile at all. Although it is short compared to some, I find it straight to the point without being sleazy and without any TEXT SPEAK! Probably what is going against you as some have previously stated, is that you've only been on here for a short time and without any friends or veris. Trying to tailor make a profile that fits all is impossible anyway!
Although we appreciate a profile with a lot of effort put ini, we've been pleasently surprisd by a profile with only several lines without lots of nude pics.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually, I don't mind your profile at all. Although it is short compared to some, I find it straight to the point without being sleazy and without any TEXT SPEAK! Probably what is going against you as some have previously stated, is that you've only been on here for a short time and without any friends or veris. Trying to tailor make a profile that fits all is impossible anyway!
Although we appreciate a profile with a lot of effort put ini, we've been pleasently surprisd by a profile with only several lines without lots of nude pics.
P"
Just pointing out that is the new updated profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Evening all, i hope this post doesn't come across too whiny, it really isn't meant to be, just after a little advice.
First things first, i know my profile isn't very long or informative, i have no intention of posting private things in public, that is for private chat or PMs, i don't think that is particularly unreasonable.
I have sent a few messages (with face photo) and around half have been deleted outright, thats cool because i know whats what. However the other half are read but not deleted, and not replied to, i know the female members must get alot of messages, but some of mine are now getting on for a month old, i havn't tended to send winks or friends requests as i don't want to be pushy and i have tended to delete sent messages lately and just wait for a reply. This is now causing me a problem as ive lost track of those who may have been interested and those who are definately not.
Anyway any advice those on the forum can give would be aprecciated."
swinging should be fun if its not it aint the site for u |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"swinging should be fun if its not it aint the site for u"
I'm new to the scene so at the moment i've not had much (any  ) fun, but nothing to put me off so far. I enjoy nights out and meeting girls but as im getting abit older i want to meet up with people around my age who want roughly the same kind of thing, good company and NSA. This seems the best kind of place for that. My personal situation is a little complex and that has put of the two members who have messaged me, but thats no problem, i'm sure there are others in the same boat.
Thanks for the reply, its appreciated. |
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You need photos; go to a social and get veris and make connections with real people, read the threads about profile advice with a view to putting some likes/dislikes in and what you can offer someone looking at your profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Munches...it's the answer.
Words on here are fine, so are pictures. However it's my opinion that most pictures and words defining a person are slightly inaccurate when you meet in real time.
To take away this issue is to attend a munch..a meeting place for coffee cake and chat..for instance. Set one up in a city near you..a very large pub..loads of people. Have a table with an object on it? It could be anything, 50 shades, a bunny with a collar on, As a group you are invisible in a crowd.
People attending the munch see the item and know that's the right crowd. People attending can wear an identifier, you don't wear fetish, just smart casual with a hint. No real names personal details given out in the munch. Just as much info as you feel comfortable with, such as your fab nick name etc
All vanilla people see is a group of people chatting.
You in turn see and speak with people that interest you...swop cell/moby numbers etc.. |
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"If they haven't replied they aren't interested "
maybe ..we had a reply four months after a message we sent. and it turned into a very hot weekend, so don't worry to much about your sent item, put more effort into your read messages..good luck ,because that's sometimes all it is..connie xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Evening all, i hope this post doesn't come across too whiny, it really isn't meant to be, just after a little advice.
First things first, i know my profile isn't very long or informative, i have no intention of posting private things in public, that is for private chat or PMs, i don't think that is particularly unreasonable.
I have sent a few messages (with face photo) and around half have been deleted outright, thats cool because i know whats what. However the other half are read but not deleted, and not replied to, i know the female members must get alot of messages, but some of mine are now getting on for a month old, i havn't tended to send winks or friends requests as i don't want to be pushy and i have tended to delete sent messages lately and just wait for a reply. This is now causing me a problem as ive lost track of those who may have been interested and those who are definately not.
Anyway any advice those on the forum can give would be aprecciated."
you have only been on 4 weeks. completely new and you don't accommodate and personally for me you smoke.
they could be many reasons why you just get deleted
we get tons of mail a day and sometimes in all honesty it just easier to delete rather than read,,, don't give up,, try going to a club, get to know people there |
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"lol'ing at your "interests" one of which is "seperate room swaping" when you are only looking to meet single females.
For the life in me i cannot envisage how this could work...... "
Inter-room door way sex it really is the way to go.... |
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