FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Single men on the site
Single men on the site
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I first came on this site about 2008 at the time it was just getting popular, There seemed to be a good balance of females and couples and males, Even though i'd say theres always been high number of men, I had realised the previous site I was on was getting busy at the time, plus it charged alot for a year subscription, so I decided to use this site more often. Now 6 years on and the balance is very different, I get more messages from blokes than I do couples or women!! 4 times as much and i'm not gay or bi  , But now I see forum posts with new guys seeking advice about getting meets, obviously because the competition is so high on here!! So I'm just wondering for couples and females! how hard is it for you to select a single guy from millions on here, How can you tell who's the right single guy for a meet??? What do you look for in a meet with a single guy on here?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me it's fairly easy as location plays a huge part. I live in a very rural location miles from everyone which narrows it down significantly.
Add to that those that put no effort whatsoever into their profile, those with no pictures, those that lie about being single, those that can't really hold a conversation, those that want an instant shag.
Having said that, there are some lovely single men on here that will make an effort and they're the ones who are successful  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When the filters are off it's impossible. The bellends come out with their 'fancy a fuck ' crap. Easy to ignore tho just delete, same with those who send cock pics, cock pic avatars and those who dont read the profile. If I wanted a man id go down the pub to pull. I'm not tho. Im a swinger here for ladies and group sessions so that makes it easier. Avoid those who just use it as a sex site. They stand out a mile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Getting a chat and a meet is very easy....its when they get a better offer it goes tits up. Happens a lot on here. God help a guy if he pulls out thou due to a better offer  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Location, no good someone in Scotland asking to meet me as chances are it won't happen! Then I read their profile, pics, verifications, just a general feel for the guy, I can usually tell within a few messages if it's someone i would like to meet or continue to chat with. I like to have a bit of banter, know something about the guy before I would even consider talking about meeting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me it's just a matter of talking for a while. I don't do the pub pulling sex,I don't like sex with d*unk men and I like to get to know someone before arranging to meet. I'm not looking for an ego boost or flattery,just good sexual experiences. I don't have a type of man physically which makes it easier. I'm only here for single men so I have a lot of choice |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
It's easy.
Even when (like now!) all our filters are off we know what we want.
So we go looking. And if messages come in from those we're not interested in or ever likely to be - we block.
It cuts down massively on the incoming messages, means browsing throws up smaller numbers - and a simple advanced search gets a few potentials.
But then we're not frequent meeters, in no rush and not bothered if nobody takes our fancy .
Often it's the case that the more you look to meet the harder you will find things.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Getting a chat and a meet is very easy....its when they get a better offer it goes tits up. Happens a lot on here. God help a guy if he pulls out thou due to a better offer "
Really? I've never ditched anyone because I got a better offer, that's just fucking rude. Although it has happened to me and I was pretty furious, so maybe that's why I wouldn't do it to someone else. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Getting a chat and a meet is very easy....its when they get a better offer it goes tits up. Happens a lot on here. God help a guy if he pulls out thou due to a better offer "
You've been on the forums long enough to know that most people on them disagree with anyone dumping someone for a better offer, male or female. But if you area attracting women who do that sort of thing, you need to chat to different types of women. |
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Treat a woman with respect and with good manners. Works for me. What makes me mad is when I see all the messages from women in the forums saying that men just message them saying "Fancy a fuck?" Often wonder what would happen if the said that in the street? think 999 would be busy all day. No need to treat women that way. |
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It's always a challenge, but that's the case even if you meet otherwise. The anonymity obviously increases the challenge too.
If you are selective and like a minority of guys then it's tougher than when not.
Most guys make it easy to see them as inappropriate quite quickly.
Pushy guys show their bent quickly and my discomfort tells me they're wrong for me. If I see that I'm targeted not for being me then it's another discomfort factor. I like to grasp that it's me not just any partner that's sought.
Of they can pace me, as like many here I have other things going on in my life, then I am more open.
If there are any hints of psychological games being played then I'm out.
Once someone introduces major difficulties then it's a disauder too.
Often a guy says one thing but does another, so it's a useful warning. Partners need to be reliable so indications that they're not can stand out.
There are lots of things that clarify that we're not a match and I don't meet most people who message. I still make occasional mistakes but usually when I've overlooked something that I've not given sufficient attention to.
Dickheads will be around so I find those the easiest to exclude.
If a single guy is decent and a good sexual partner then he will do well on fab if he applies himself, however imbalanced it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Getting a chat and a meet is very easy....its when they get a better offer it goes tits up. Happens a lot on here. God help a guy if he pulls out thou due to a better offer
Really? I've never ditched anyone because I got a better offer, that's just fucking rude. Although it has happened to me and I was pretty furious, so maybe that's why I wouldn't do it to someone else."
Very rude indeed and why would you anyway, just meet the other person another time  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I can only imagine how many messages a day a female or a couple get from single guys on here!! I've also heard from others i've met about the odd balls who request strange fetishes, so i suppose it's very difficult to find a guy that ticks most peoples boxes, anyways thanks for the great response to the question, maybe it might help some on here understand how to connect on here better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" So I'm just wondering for couples and females! how hard is it for you to select a single guy from millions on here, How can you tell who's the right single guy for a meet??? What do you look for in a meet with a single guy on here??"
First I look at the pictures, then I'll read the profile, if there aren't face and cock pictures I'll ask for them to be sent (I'll also send face pictures back) I'll then ask of they will be happy to do full night meets at a hotel because I like to sleep next to a guy, then if they're willing to do that I'll meet them for a coffee so we can give each other the once over in the flesh. I'll know within minutes of being in a guys company if I'd want to fuck him or not.
I think with me though the longer I'm on here (I've been on and off since 2011) I just want a boyfriend so that's what really stops me meeting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its by luck and plus noone are never nearby lol 
You won't ever leave penge though "
I know lol its good place to live in. Maibe one day as the saying goes lol. |
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We look for well-written profiles, with intelligence, humour and an open mind. That counts out about 90% of the men on here. Profile names such as 'shag tonight' will immediately put us off, as will cut-and-paste messages, one liners, cock pics and dishonesty. Looks are important too - we can't stand the 'look at me' shaven headed, tattooed gym bunnies or the 'can't be arsed' beer-bellied slobs. Our block list is very long! We have a fantastic sex life together, so a single guy has to be quite special if he is going to add to that... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We look for well-written profiles, with intelligence, humour and an open mind. That counts out about 90% of the men on here. Profile names such as 'shag tonight' will immediately put us off, as will cut-and-paste messages, one liners, cock pics and dishonesty. Looks are important too - we can't stand the 'look at me' shaven headed, tattooed gym bunnies or the 'can't be arsed' beer-bellied slobs. Our block list is very long! We have a fantastic sex life together, so a single guy has to be quite special if he is going to add to that... "
Or display charisma as one or two of the forum items do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree with most of the above.
Yes usernames can be very off putting "wantsexnow" or "sitonmyface"... err no thanks.
Any sort of needy desperation on their status "will someone just empty my balls, I'm gagging for it!" puts me off.
I don't like cock photos being sent to me.
I really don't like it when a guy asks me questions that are in my profile write up.
And I look for guys with an unusual but interesting profile write up.
Guys who can type/spell and construct full sentences are at the front of the queue.
But then I have to like their photos too. They have to have photos beyond just a cock!
And I like an opening message that says more than "wanna chat?". Maybe a message referring to something in my profile or on my status. Something to make me laugh.
I'm not picky. Honest... But the above does rule out 95% of guys on here and the rest (barring about two!) are miles away!  |
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"I first came on this site about 2008 at the time it was just getting popular, There seemed to be a good balance of females and couples and males, Even though i'd say theres always been high number of men, I had realised the previous site I was on was getting busy at the time, plus it charged alot for a year subscription, so I decided to use this site more often. Now 6 years on and the balance is very different, I get more messages from blokes than I do couples or women!! 4 times as much and i'm not gay or bi , But now I see forum posts with new guys seeking advice about getting meets, obviously because the competition is so high on here!! So I'm just wondering for couples and females! how hard is it for you to select a single guy from millions on here, How can you tell who's the right single guy for a meet??? What do you look for in a meet with a single guy on here??"
If you want to stop the messages from men you can set your filters to block them, no single men will be able to message you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Agree with most of the above.
Yes usernames can be very off putting "wantsexnow" or "sitonmyface"... err no thanks.
Any sort of needy desperation on their status "will someone just empty my balls, I'm gagging for it!" puts me off.
I don't like cock photos being sent to me.
I really don't like it when a guy asks me questions that are in my profile write up.
And I look for guys with an unusual but interesting profile write up.
Guys who can type/spell and construct full sentences are at the front of the queue.
But then I have to like their photos too. They have to have photos beyond just a cock!
And I like an opening message that says more than "wanna chat?". Maybe a message referring to something in my profile or on my status. Something to make me laugh.
I'm not picky. Honest... But the above does rule out 95% of guys on here and the rest (barring about two!) are miles away! "
Want to sit on my face? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Agree with most of the above.
Yes usernames can be very off putting "wantsexnow" or "sitonmyface"... err no thanks.
Any sort of needy desperation on their status "will someone just empty my balls, I'm gagging for it!" puts me off.
I don't like cock photos being sent to me.
I really don't like it when a guy asks me questions that are in my profile write up.
And I look for guys with an unusual but interesting profile write up.
Guys who can type/spell and construct full sentences are at the front of the queue.
But then I have to like their photos too. They have to have photos beyond just a cock!
And I like an opening message that says more than "wanna chat?". Maybe a message referring to something in my profile or on my status. Something to make me laugh.
I'm not picky. Honest... But the above does rule out 95% of guys on here and the rest (barring about two!) are miles away! "
^^this to a tee
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I know I can set filters. But some messages I get are very worth the cock photo onslaught.
And Avatarforhim... where and when? "
haha
if they haven't stopped the Welsh sneaking across the border yet, you're welcome to visit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah I know I can set filters. But some messages I get are very worth the cock photo onslaught.
And Avatarforhim... where and when?
haha
if they haven't stopped the Welsh sneaking across the border yet, you're welcome to visit"
I'm English. If they ever let me escape back to my homeland, I will find you...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I go for guys I'd check out in a pub. Fit, cheeky etc.
We are delete messages that are 1 line, request pics before message 5 and anyone that thinks Sydney University finds them remotely interesting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I know I can set filters. But some messages I get are very worth the cock photo onslaught.
And Avatarforhim... where and when?
haha
if they haven't stopped the Welsh sneaking across the border yet, you're welcome to visit
I'm English. If they ever let me escape back to my homeland, I will find you... "
Ahhh you were deported, what was your crime? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I know I can set filters. But some messages I get are very worth the cock photo onslaught.
And Avatarforhim... where and when?
haha
if they haven't stopped the Welsh sneaking across the border yet, you're welcome to visit
I'm English. If they ever let me escape back to my homeland, I will find you...
Ahhh you were deported, what was your crime?"
Stole this cowboy hat. They aren't getting it back though. I like it too much.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah I know I can set filters. But some messages I get are very worth the cock photo onslaught.
And Avatarforhim... where and when?
haha
if they haven't stopped the Welsh sneaking across the border yet, you're welcome to visit
I'm English. If they ever let me escape back to my homeland, I will find you...
Ahhh you were deported, what was your crime?
Stole this cowboy hat. They aren't getting it back though. I like it too much. "
It's an amazing hat, but surely that is such a harsh punishment for a small crime! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah I know I can set filters. But some messages I get are very worth the cock photo onslaught.
And Avatarforhim... where and when?
haha
if they haven't stopped the Welsh sneaking across the border yet, you're welcome to visit
I'm English. If they ever let me escape back to my homeland, I will find you...
Ahhh you were deported, what was your crime?
Stole this cowboy hat. They aren't getting it back though. I like it too much.
It's an amazing hat, but surely that is such a harsh punishment for a small crime!"
What do you think my punishment should have been? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yeah I know I can set filters. But some messages I get are very worth the cock photo onslaught.
And Avatarforhim... where and when?
haha
if they haven't stopped the Welsh sneaking across the border yet, you're welcome to visit
I'm English. If they ever let me escape back to my homeland, I will find you...
Ahhh you were deported, what was your crime?
Stole this cowboy hat. They aren't getting it back though. I like it too much.
It's an amazing hat, but surely that is such a harsh punishment for a small crime!
What do you think my punishment should have been? "
A smacked bottom for something as little as that. but who knows what other confessions might emerge in the punishing... it's possible that could just be the start.
And let's hope you get a compassionate man to punish you... because there are some who... might just make up a reason... or trick you into trouble |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I first came on this site about 2008 at the time it was just getting popular, There seemed to be a good balance of females and couples and males, Even though i'd say theres always been high number of men, I had realised the previous site I was on was getting busy at the time, plus it charged alot for a year subscription, so I decided to use this site more often. Now 6 years on and the balance is very different, I get more messages from blokes than I do couples or women!! 4 times as much and i'm not gay or bi , But now I see forum posts with new guys seeking advice about getting meets, obviously because the competition is so high on here!! So I'm just wondering for couples and females! how hard is it for you to select a single guy from millions on here, How can you tell who's the right single guy for a meet??? What do you look for in a meet with a single guy on here??
If you want to stop the messages from men you can set your filters to block them, no single men will be able to message you. "
I've not blocked them but I've set a really silly age range so I do the looking on this profile. Life is so much easier! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Agree with most of the above.
Yes usernames can be very off putting "wantsexnow" or "sitonmyface"... err no thanks.
Any sort of needy desperation on their status "will someone just empty my balls, I'm gagging for it!" puts me off.
I don't like cock photos being sent to me.
I really don't like it when a guy asks me questions that are in my profile write up.
And I look for guys with an unusual but interesting profile write up.
Guys who can type/spell and construct full sentences are at the front of the queue.
But then I have to like their photos too. They have to have photos beyond just a cock!
And I like an opening message that says more than "wanna chat?". Maybe a message referring to something in my profile or on my status. Something to make me laugh.
I'm not picky. Honest... But the above does rule out 95% of guys on here and the rest (barring about two!) are miles away! "
As (hopefully) one of the 5%, I just wanted to say I wish I were closer, as I'm sure do the rest... some of us DO have a brain not entirely based in our genitals lol...But I will admit the majority spoil it for those of us who can string a sentence together... I live perpetually in hope of standing out above the neanderthallish majority |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I first came on this site about 2008 at the time it was just getting popular, There seemed to be a good balance of females and couples and males, Even though i'd say theres always been high number of men, I had realised the previous site I was on was getting busy at the time, plus it charged alot for a year subscription, so I decided to use this site more often. Now 6 years on and the balance is very different, I get more messages from blokes than I do couples or women!! 4 times as much and i'm not gay or bi , But now I see forum posts with new guys seeking advice about getting meets, obviously because the competition is so high on here!! So I'm just wondering for couples and females! how hard is it for you to select a single guy from millions on here, How can you tell who's the right single guy for a meet??? What do you look for in a meet with a single guy on here??"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
To start with someone that has read the profile.it says on our profile no one liners BUT WE STILL GET ABOUT 30 DAY. say we cannot play at home but still get ones like come round and fuck you.
we have really given up on this site was on before for 5 years left as it was shit. trying again but still the same.
only on here to check messages from people we have met at swingers clubs
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Agree with most of the above.
Yes usernames can be very off putting "wantsexnow" or "sitonmyface"... err no thanks.
Any sort of needy desperation on their status "will someone just empty my balls, I'm gagging for it!" puts me off.
I don't like cock photos being sent to me.
I really don't like it when a guy asks me questions that are in my profile write up.
And I look for guys with an unusual but interesting profile write up.
Guys who can type/spell and construct full sentences are at the front of the queue.
But then I have to like their photos too. They have to have photos beyond just a cock!
And I like an opening message that says more than "wanna chat?". Maybe a message referring to something in my profile or on my status. Something to make me laugh.
I'm not picky. Honest... But the above does rule out 95% of guys on here and the rest (barring about two!) are miles away! "
I concur |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
Have to agree on the usernames, SLUT doesn't work for us.
Firstly we look at the messages we receive and we see if there's a physical attraction. Would I (Mr N) like to see her with him and does she like the look of him, if it's a No either way we don't continue, if it's a yes then we look at their profile and see if we like the sound of it. Then we look at their verifications and look at the verifiers verifications to see if they satisfy us, if all is good we'll engage in a conversation to see if we get on and if a meet can develop or not.
Note*
We don't dismiss non veris completely as we hotlist those we would have met otherwise and watch to see how their profile develops to see what people say and if we'd like them using the same criteria. We're also open to new members with no veri whatsoever. If we like them then a lot of conversation would need to take place as well as social meets for an actual meet to occur.
Safety is our number one priotrity and then the social dymanics between all parties have to feel right before we go ahead with an actual meet.
Hope that helps somewhat, good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Getting a chat and a meet is very easy....its when they get a better offer it goes tits up. Happens a lot on here. God help a guy if he pulls out thou due to a better offer
Really? I've never ditched anyone because I got a better offer, that's just fucking rude. Although it has happened to me and I was pretty furious, so maybe that's why I wouldn't do it to someone else."
I find it hard to believe that someone blew you off. You look incredible x |
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