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Fab & bdsm
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Are there many couples with feet in both camps.
We're looking to have a series of parties..in the new year..they will be themed..for both dark fabbers and bdsm lovers.
We're not revolutionary nor looking for unsolicited attention, however, while we enjoy the scene we feel the mental constraint of swinging.
Does anyone else follow our efforts?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are there many couples with feet in both camps.
We're looking to have a series of parties..in the new year..they will be themed..for both dark fabbers and bdsm lovers.
We're not revolutionary nor looking for unsolicited attention, however, while we enjoy the scene we feel the mental constraint of swinging.
Does anyone else follow our efforts?
"
I would guess most people that enjoy bdsm and the.'darker side' of swinging are on fetish sites, maybe try one of those |
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"Not meaning to sound superior or to down play the erotic excitement....  It would seem that on reflection 'Yes'
Or maybe people aren't interested?"
That is possible. Maybe we've missed the point, our maybe not we aren't your cup of jo....many thanks for your input though. |
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"if it was london based then i'd be interested but west midlands is probably too far."
From previous experience London has a lot to offer...on reflection we're trying achieve a balance where experience adds ease, pace of mind, a valued benefit from excitement, to conclude in a thrill.
Any suggestions you may have would be invaluable..Thanks for thought |
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There are quite a few of us here.
We have our feet planted firmly in both, but because of that find that we dont fit perfectly in either.
Fetishers dont dont get swingers and generally swingers dont get the bdsm scene.
we have been to a couple of parties with a bdsm theme and loved it.
Ideally there shoukd be a section of fab devoted to "dark swinging" as you so perfectly described it. |
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Oh yes, and we can g'tee they v much know their stuff. Always a pleasure, mind and body. Ps we are out for fun in mids this wed. Maybe chams or a hotel in coventry. Say hello, let's see what we can fix up!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are there many couples with feet in both camps.
We're looking to have a series of parties..in the new year..they will be themed..for both dark fabbers and bdsm lovers.
We're not revolutionary nor looking for unsolicited attention, however, while we enjoy the scene we feel the mental constraint of swinging.
Does anyone else follow our efforts?
"
There are a few it was one couple I wont name who got me on here who are into both scenes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have arrived here from the Fetish/BDSM Scene. I retain some interest in Fet, but not BDSM, now.
Yes, some people do both - just don't tell anyone...? OK....?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am from the fet side meet so many people who did both i thought i would join fab to take a look and never looked back"
The Fetish Police will be after us both now.... Run.... Lols...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a Fet/Bdsm venue we find there is a few on here who like both the scenes and crossing over them.
Good luck and you would always be welcome to come give us a visit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"having been searching for a domme but there all prodomme on here ,and paying for it would take the fun out of it for me "
No...they aren't. Keep looking and im sure you will find someone. Although I have been amazed at how many women profess to be sub on here. I blame that 50 shades tosh. |
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We enjoy both but bdsm always takes priority for us...Fab gives us the best of both worlds and we can't ask for better. ..plenty more like us on here...just a bit cloaked is all. The Unit as said caters for both sides which makes it so popular. |
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For those in both camps, as are we...coming from a strictly multitude of vanilla experiences, with a dabble in the BDSM Arena here and there....we appreciate the complexity of that understanding. This present idea started to take shape in the usually way, some talk, a pen, and of course, a napkin...well we had to pierce our dignity.
For those wishing you be added, consider it done...and look out in your ib, for notice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our bdsm basic event is ideal for them that are new and not sure what it entails.
We start at the basic from etiquette, then go through floggers and how to use them plus other impact toys.
Also a little basic rope and wax play.
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"Are there many couples with feet in both camps.
We're looking to have a series of parties..in the new year..they will be themed..for both dark fabbers and bdsm lovers.
We're not revolutionary nor looking for unsolicited attention, however, while we enjoy the scene we feel the mental constraint of swinging.
Does anyone else follow our efforts?
"
Since undergoing something of a change over 10 years ago I have found it difficult to secure fulltime employment. And if you don't have a regular income, the club scene where a lot of the fun takes place, is a closed shop. Being single hasn't opened many doors either. I joined Fab hoping that I would find people linked into BDSM networks. It hasn't worked for me yet. But I've clearly been looking in the wrong places. |
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There are a fair few couples on here with feet in both camps but try mentioning it on the main fet site and you'll get way more of a slating than on here.
Several clubs and party nights have tried mixing the two over the years although numbers can be difficult. The Kage at Partners was set up with a more sexual bias and Townhouse regularly runs successful events that mix swinging and BDSM. Try having a chat with the organisers of those and good luck xx |
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"There are a fair few couples on here with feet in both camps but try mentioning it on the main fet site and you'll get way more of a slating than on here.
Several clubs and party nights have tried mixing the two over the years although numbers can be difficult. The Kage at Partners was set up with a more sexual bias and Townhouse regularly runs successful events that mix swinging and BDSM. Try having a chat with the organisers of those and good luck xx"
We've made some enquiries at Townhouse and had a good response from them...we'll be leading off with a quarterly themed event to coincide with pre & post holiday seasons.
Hope this goes further in clarifying matters.
Many thanks |
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"Are there many couples with feet in both camps.
We're looking to have a series of parties..in the new year..they will be themed..for both dark fabbers and bdsm lovers.
We're not revolutionary nor looking for unsolicited attention, however, while we enjoy the scene we feel the mental constraint of swinging.
Does anyone else follow our efforts?
Since undergoing something of a change over 10 years ago I have found it difficult to secure fulltime employment. And if you don't have a regular income, the club scene where a lot of the fun takes place, is a closed shop. Being single hasn't opened many doors either. I joined Fab hoping that I would find people linked into BDSM networks. It hasn't worked for me yet. But I've clearly been looking in the wrong places. "
 Not sure if you're on the same divination as we are, however, we're confident that such matters, will be clearer.
We trust that you are now in the BDSM scene, if not, what are you seeking..  |
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"Are there many couples with feet in both camps.
We're looking to have a series of parties..in the new year..they will be themed..for both dark fabbers and bdsm lovers.
We're not revolutionary nor looking for unsolicited attention, however, while we enjoy the scene we feel the mental constraint of swinging.
Does anyone else follow our efforts?
Since undergoing something of a change over 10 years ago I have found it difficult to secure fulltime employment. And if you don't have a regular income, the club scene where a lot of the fun takes place, is a closed shop. Being single hasn't opened many doors either. I joined Fab hoping that I would find people linked into BDSM networks. It hasn't worked for me yet. But I've clearly been looking in the wrong places. Not sure if you're on the same divination as we are, however, we're confident that such matters, will be clearer.
We trust that you are now in the BDSM scene, if not, what are you seeking.. "
Well here's the bit I removed from my original profile. It quickly become clear that a lot of swingers are put off by kink.
""It won't surprise you to know that I have my kinks. These are reflected in fantasies in which master/mistress and slave relationships feature heavily. I have a [now not so] secret desire to be a collared slave to a dominant couple who will really stretch my boundaries.
Enforced chastity, heavy restraint and (mild) cp are a huge turn on, as is the humiliation of being compelled to provide sexual services in a group setting. I am an exhibitionist by nature; I love to perform. Anyone who can arrange a starring role for me in a bukkake party and/or movie making goes to the top of my list.""
Yes there's a lot of slut in there to go with the (playful/disobedient) sub. As for scene, I have a FL profile, but the site isn't particularly user friendly, especially if you're using a smartphone to access the net most of the time. That's where I'm at right now. Anyway just putting it out there!!!  |
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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago
Sunderland |
Not planning on anything in our part of the world, from the sound of it, which is a shame as we are both very intrigued by this at the moment, but a bit clueless too. Will just have to feel our way, as it were. |
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"Not planning on anything in our part of the world, from the sound of it, which is a shame as we are both very intrigued by this at the moment, but a bit clueless too. Will just have to feel our way, as it were."
... plenty in our part of world .. ie north east ... last time I looked mackemland still free from quarantine ... lol so p.m. us and find out re the bdsm...
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"Not planning on anything in our part of the world, from the sound of it, which is a shame as we are both very intrigued by this at the moment, but a bit clueless too. Will just have to feel our way, as it were."
It's not an impossibility, however if you're willing to engage, from just this posting, you can see that there is numerous interest..possibilities are therefore endless added. |
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"Not planning on anything in our part of the world, from the sound of it, which is a shame as we are both very intrigued by this at the moment, but a bit clueless too. Will just have to feel our way, as it were. ... plenty in our part of world .. ie north east ... last time I looked mackemland still free from quarantine ... lol so p.m. us and find out re the bdsm... "
The connections are endless, and very possible...we favour this very much |
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"Are there many couples with feet in both camps.
We're looking to have a series of parties..in the new year..they will be themed..for both dark fabbers and bdsm lovers.
We're not revolutionary nor looking for unsolicited attention, however, while we enjoy the scene we feel the mental constraint of swinging.
Does anyone else follow our efforts?
Since undergoing something of a change over 10 years ago I have found it difficult to secure fulltime employment. And if you don't have a regular income, the club scene where a lot of the fun takes place, is a closed shop. Being single hasn't opened many doors either. I joined Fab hoping that I would find people linked into BDSM networks. It hasn't worked for me yet. But I've clearly been looking in the wrong places. Not sure if you're on the same divination as we are, however, we're confident that such matters, will be clearer.
We trust that you are now in the BDSM scene, if not, what are you seeking..
Well here's the bit I removed from my original profile. It quickly become clear that a lot of swingers are put off by kink.
"It won't surprise you to know that I have my kinks. These are reflected in fantasies in which master/mistress and slave relationships feature heavily. I have a [now not so] secret desire to be a collared slave to a dominant couple who will really stretch my boundaries.
Enforced chastity, heavy restraint and (mild) cp are a huge turn on, as is the humiliation of being compelled to provide sexual services in a group setting. I am an exhibitionist by nature; I love to perform. Anyone who can arrange a starring role for me in a bukkake party and/or movie making goes to the top of my list."
Yes there's a lot of slut in there to go with the (playful/disobedient) sub. As for scene, I have a FL profile, but the site isn't particularly user friendly, especially if you're using a smartphone to access the net most of the time. That's where I'm at right now. Anyway just putting it out there!!! "
Well that opened the subject up. Clearly there is much thought and planning.
Have you began your research or...
Has this fantasy been played out in any scenario? |
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Now that would be telling
I made the effort to update my profile on another site which is possibly more in tune with this kind of thing. It should be pretty easy to find.
I've not really had the opportunity to follow up since I registered there a few months ago. There are many competing demands on my time. Although I only work part time, outside of that I'm heavily committed in the voluntary and community sector, the 'community" in this case is usually characterised by the letters LGBT.
But no I haven't acted it out yet. If I do something, I do it properly. And I really need to discover what I'm letting myself in for. Which is why I want to take the opportunity to learn from those who have more experience in such matters. What I'm contemplating is a far cry from a brief flirtation with the scene over ten years ago in Essex and East London when I spent a little time with a pro domme.
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"Now that would be telling
I made the effort to update my profile on another site which is possibly more in tune with this kind of thing. It should be pretty easy to find.
I've not really had the opportunity to follow up since I registered there a few months ago. There are many competing demands on my time. Although I only work part time, outside of that I'm heavily committed in the voluntary and community sector, the 'community" in this case is usually characterised by the letters LGBT.
But no I haven't acted it out yet. If I do something, I do it properly. And I really need to discover what I'm letting myself in for. Which is why I want to take the opportunity to learn from those who have more experience in such matters. What I'm contemplating is a far cry from a brief flirtation with the scene over ten years ago in Essex and East London when I spent a little time with a pro domme.
"
Very enlightening...any forward plans to see the actual? |
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"I dabble in both sides , always thought of myself as. Sub but after a few trips to Bdsm events at the gatehouse defiantly like switching .  "
Interesting concept are doing research or have you gone past that point? |
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"I dabble in both sides , always thought of myself as. Sub but after a few trips to Bdsm events at the gatehouse defiantly like switching . Interesting concept are doing research or have you gone past that point? "
'are you' |
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"Are there many couples with feet in both camps.
We're looking to have a series of parties..in the new year..they will be themed..for both dark fabbers and bdsm lovers.
We're not revolutionary nor looking for unsolicited attention, however, while we enjoy the scene we feel the mental constraint of swinging.
Does anyone else follow our efforts?
There are a few it was one couple I wont name who got me on here who are into both scenes."
So what about you and your exploits, which area intrigues you most presently?  |
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"But no I haven't acted it out yet. If I do something, I do it properly. And I really need to discover what I'm letting myself in for. Which is why I want to take the opportunity to learn from those who have more experience in such matters. What I'm contemplating is a far cry from a brief flirtation with the scene over ten years ago in Essex and East London when I spent a little time with a pro domme.
"
Very enlightening...any forward plans to see the actual?"
With me, research comes before planning. But yes, it is definitely something I intend to take forward. However that isn't something I can easily do on my own!!! So a key part of this is about finding people I can trust. |
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"With me, research comes before planning. But yes, it is definitely something I intend to take forward. However that isn't something I can easily do on my own!!! So a key part of this is about finding people I can trust. "
I know it's Manchester so a bit of a hike but look up S M Dykes - a very supportive community and people from all over the world with a range of gender and sexual identifications attend the yearly conference in May which has some excellent workshops as well as the odd play party x have fun exploring x |
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"I know it's Manchester so a bit of a hike but look up S M Dykes - a very supportive community and people from all over the world with a range of gender and sexual identifications attend the yearly conference in May which has some excellent workshops as well as the odd play party x have fun exploring x"
Thank you for that. I think I may take a vacation in May. And I may even take a side-trip to Blackpool while I'm in the North-West. This thread seems to be opening up a range of possibilities. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm happy and rather pleased to say I'm now 'owned' and in a fantastic part time relationship with my mistress. "
Congratulations..!! I wish you and your Mistress all the very best... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Eye brow wiggle...did someone mention bdsm
Their can be a crossover between bdsm lifestylers and those who swing, but it takes an open mind. Personally, l don't get " swinging " but each to their own.
Townhouse in Liverpool held a 50 shades event, where swingers were invited to attend. It was an excellent night. The venue owners organised an excellent chance for people to sit/chat/mingle/watch etc..demo's and explore if they wished.
I demonstrated fire play, some were shocked, many were intquisitive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm happy and rather pleased to say I'm now 'owned' and in a fantastic part time relationship with my mistress.
Congratulations..!! I wish you and your Mistress all the very best... "
Thank you. I've looked for this for many years. Finally met someone who's needs match mine and who has the right experience and the tools to apply it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm happy and rather pleased to say I'm now 'owned' and in a fantastic part time relationship with my mistress.
Congratulations..!! I wish you and your Mistress all the very best... "
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We have had our feet in both camps for over 10 years, and love it! We just tell the Fet friends this is how we work and they generally accept it. Swingers do tend to run away more, but those that ask more are worth it! So any event, anywhere in the country where it mixes we will try! So please let us know details as you get them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I adore bdsm, but I'm currently single and prefer to play with people I know and trust. That said I am still intrigued to find out more, especially as it increases the chance of finding someone compatible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I adore bdsm, but I'm currently single and prefer to play with people I know and trust. That said I am still intrigued to find out more, especially as it increases the chance of finding someone compatible "
im the same x |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
Why are they things that should be considered separately? We don't know a lot about the bdsm side (other than we enjoy what we know of it), but really curious as to why there seems to be such a definite line drawn between the two as this thread implies. Is swinging viewed dimly by bdsm people, and vice versa? Apologies if this is a daft question! |
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By *wned EmCouple
over a year ago
nuneaton |
No such thing as a daft question.
By some it is and visa versa. There are as many different ways of doing things and thinking about things as there are people on the site. As long as it works for the people involved in the relationship it shouldn't mater how others judge.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Add me to the list. I go to a decent amount of fetish clubs and private parties with various themes in the West Midlands and would be interested to hear of anything starting up that had more of a swinging feel to it. |
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On the contrary. There are some whom have thought this. we feel that each has its own merit...we are mot implying that there is a vast difference, however, feel the need to gain and gauge all to response to ideas going forward....to include, not to exclude differences, Thus the making of a wider choice and a massive eventful experience for All.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Must be my age, but this thread is getting seriously confusing....!!
To clarify my position - I have feet in both camps, or one foot in each camp..! Sexy Fet if you like.. Or Swing with BDSM ..?
Would certainly consider a Swing/BDSM/Sexy Fet West Mids type event, in the New Year.... |
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"Are there many couples with feet in both camps.
We're looking to have a series of parties..in the new year..they will be themed..for both dark fabbers and bdsm lovers.
We're not revolutionary nor looking for unsolicited attention, however, while we enjoy the scene we feel the mental constraint of swinging.
Does anyone else follow our efforts?
"
We do. Also on a popular fet site. So would be very interested.
Pandora |
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"Are there many couples with feet in both camps.
We're looking to have a series of parties..in the new year..they will be themed..for both dark fabbers and bdsm lovers.
We're not revolutionary nor looking for unsolicited attention, however, while we enjoy the scene we feel the mental constraint of swinging.
Does anyone else follow our efforts?
"
We do. Also on a popular fet site. So would be very interested.
Pandora |
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Yeah, another one for both camps, although I generally sit on the kinked side of the fence! I dunno, it just strikes me (and my collective down here in the dirty deep south) the UK seems to be stuck in the 70s where both BDSM and 'Swinging' are concerned.. All about the seedy, dodgy clubs & shagging in a car park... It really is about time both camps got their act together and bring the sexy back... Like our amigos in the Netherlands are starting to! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've recently started our journey into bdsm and although not strayed too far into in yet are a dom/sub cuckold couple. Its not been difficult finding people just getting them to understand us or when we've had a few meets where we've incorporated the style of play we want been disappointed as they've not been able to live up to their boasts. |
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Not sure if this has been said before, but there tends to be a lot of snobbery from bdsm players towards swingers and there can be ill feeling visa versa.
I have been a Pro Dominant for 15 years and love the BDSM lifestyle. BUT I am also a swinger and proud! I don't really bring BDSM into swinging as I like to keep the 2 separate but if I do, then simple stuff like some good tying, tease, sensation play is good. Female Dominance is a huge turn on for a lot of guys and indeed bisexual/lesbian females and I found that I have fallen into 'role' sometimes without meaning to!
There are many swingers who just don't 'get' BDSM and are even afraid of it! This is why we run our 50 shades nights. I don't like to see 2 camps divided when so much fun could be had!! lol They are VERY popular nights and we have been running them for about 2 years. Swingers who are curious about BDSM come along to watch demos, ask questions and watch real BDSM play. They can get involved if they want and we chat about basic etiquette and how they can incorporate simple BDSM into their play to enhance their already wonderful sex lives. It culminates in a very horny, insightful night and as you would guess, everyone is scrambling for playspace as the whole thing gets them heated up!! lol
Our mainstream BDSM nights are Fetish led but we welcome swingers. This is to break down any barriers between the 2. Some venues do not allow sexual contact or nudity on BDSM nights....I just don't get it! As a Pro, then yes, no sexual contact, but socially, BDSM can be very sexual.
I would love to see more of a cross over between BDSM nd swinging. Lets face it, if you have ever worn a blindfold while having sex, then you have experienced basic BDSM play...you have submitted. It's wonderful! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As I agree with all of the above, I think a visit to the Townhouse may be in order, sooner rather than later.
This is exactly where my new partner and I are at. Definitely into the Fet/BDSM but with sexy, Swinging tendencies ..!!
Best check the Townhouse website next then.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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some BDSM folk view swinging poorly but plenty mix it to whatever level they choose...Im a bit of an BDSM 'evangelist'...I used to hsow guys in swinging clubs a few basics...most were up for it |
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