FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Losing the love
Losing the love
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Beginning to wonder what on earth possessed me to start dressing up as a girl.
Thinking of giving it all up.
Is there a rehab for Tgirls?
Yeah, but there's a dress code. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Is it normal to find yourself ridiculous?
Seeing myself from the outside and I imagine people must be shaking their heads at this mixed up middle aged fool.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it normal to find yourself ridiculous?
Seeing myself from the outside and I imagine people must be shaking their heads at this mixed up middle aged fool. "
i think its normal to have off days... i have 'fat' days..'too old to wear this' days...but i think you look great!...and, i would imagine,so does your wife! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it normal to find yourself ridiculous?
Seeing myself from the outside and I imagine people must be shaking their heads at this mixed up middle aged fool. "
Your pics where you are wearing the dresses look great as do the others  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I definitely feel like this and I'm female. All the makeup and trying to coordinate outfits. Sod it, I'm slumming it in jeans and a hoody. Can't be arsed with my hair.
I think it's hard work! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it normal to find yourself ridiculous?
Seeing myself from the outside and I imagine people must be shaking their heads at this mixed up middle aged fool. "
think my kids think that of me sometimes - we all have gggrrr days xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Beginning to wonder what on earth possessed me to start dressing up as a girl.
Thinking of giving it all up.
Is there a rehab for Tgirls?"
This is complicated.
I've been through this so many times over the past 19 years. I'll have the same thoughts on the pointlessness of it and whether I'm just kidding myself. Get rid of hundreds of pounds worth of gear, only to start all over again 6 months, a year later.
But now Jodie is here to stay. I'm having different issues with what I actually am now and won't go into that here. But ask yourself, do I think I look good? Do I enjoy myself when dressed and out? Am I hurting anyone or myself by doing this?
If you get Yes Yes No, then carry on. All will be good and you're just having a moment. It can be a chore sometimes glamming up, which is why women don't do it all day every day!
Any other answers then yes, take a break and re-examine yourself after a break. But for gods sake just put all your gear in storage and don't throw it away!
If you need anymore then PM me, hope you stay with the sisterhood as you look amazing. It'd be a shame to lose a hottie. Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you everyone for your kind posts and private messages.
I think this started because I was discussing telling my mother about my sexuality with my wife last night.
Being bisexual is one thing but this dressing up thing..... Well I can't even explain it to myself no matter anyone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it normal to find yourself ridiculous?("
I find myself ridiculous most of the time so font worry about that. As someone else said, give it up - your legs are better looking than mine
But to be serious, and I can be at times. Only you can decide how you feel but whatever you decide I'm quite sure you'll have plenty of support  |
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"Thank you everyone for your kind posts and private messages.
I think this started because I was discussing telling my mother about my sexuality with my wife last night.
Being bisexual is one thing but this dressing up thing..... Well I can't even explain it to myself no matter anyone else. "
Telling your mother is a big step and I can see why it would make you question yourself. I hope you work this out to everyone's advantage |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you everyone for your kind posts and private messages.
I think this started because I was discussing telling my mother about my sexuality with my wife last night.
Being bisexual is one thing but this dressing up thing..... Well I can't even explain it to myself no matter anyone else. "
Why would you tell her? It's your life, no-one else's.
If it makes you happy do it. If it makes you sad stop.
Hugs xxxx |
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By *y2funMan
over a year ago
DUDLEY |
"Thank you everyone for your kind posts a. Well I can't even explain it to myself no matter anyone else. "
try being fat, ginger and wear specs!!!!!! then you have something to worry about...
mate be yourself, and if you wife is cool with it then your almost home.......... bad day at the office, hope you get your head round it (no pun ok) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why tell my mother? Well for several reasons I guess.
I kind of feel I owe her an explanation for how I've behaved through my life as I burried my sexuality.
She's supported me through so much. Fighting for custody of my daughters etc
It's hard to explain but each time I admit it to another friend I feel the weight of hiding it lift a little more.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why tell my mother? Well for several reasons I guess.
I kind of feel I owe her an explanation for how I've behaved through my life as I burried my sexuality.
She's supported me through so much. Fighting for custody of my daughters etc
It's hard to explain but each time I admit it to another friend I feel the weight of hiding it lift a little more.
"
Only you know how she'll take it. Good luck. x |
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"Beginning to wonder what on earth possessed me to start dressing up as a girl.
Thinking of giving it all up.
Is there a rehab for Tgirls?
This is complicated.
I've been through this so many times over the past 19 years. I'll have the same thoughts on the pointlessness of it and whether I'm just kidding myself. Get rid of hundreds of pounds worth of gear, only to start all over again 6 months, a year later.
But now Jodie is here to stay. I'm having different issues with what I actually am now and won't go into that here. But ask yourself, do I think I look good? Do I enjoy myself when dressed and out? Am I hurting anyone or myself by doing this?
If you get Yes Yes No, then carry on. All will be good and you're just having a moment. It can be a chore sometimes glamming up, which is why women don't do it all day every day!
Any other answers then yes, take a break and re-examine yourself after a break. But for gods sake just put all your gear in storage and don't throw it away!
If you need anymore then PM me, hope you stay with the sisterhood as you look amazing. It'd be a shame to lose a hottie. Xxx"
Well said. Actually that brought a tear to my eye, the support offered on here at times is great |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Fab by name and by nature. You never know what reaction you'll get when you post on here.
Everyone has been so supportive today. You really restore faith in people.
Going home now to seek a cuddle from the woman I love, who loves me for being me.
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By *andS66Couple
over a year ago
Derby |
"Beginning to wonder what on earth possessed me to start dressing up as a girl.
Thinking of giving it all up.
Is there a rehab for Tgirls?
Yeah, but there's a dress code. "
Or a non-dress code, as the case may be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've not read the whole thread so apologise if others have already said this but my take is this:
Do what you feel is right for you. If you're no longer getting the enjoyment or pleasure from it, take a break.
But don't worry about what others think, sod 'em. Do what's best for you right now and what will being you most happiness |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"wow you look good to me in the ones in your pic's
note to self do not scan read - thought that said you look good in the onesie  "
Lol. Perhaps I should get one and try a whole new image. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you look fantastic! Those legs are to die for. I wouldnt worry about telling your mum, she probably knows anyway! If you and your wife are happy with things..thats all that matters! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do sometimes think like this but I couldn't give it up if I tried. It's actually getting stronger with age and now I want to go further. That's the scary bit for me. Where will
It all end.
You still look good, and it's not a crime, so just carry on. x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Update for all those who have messaged me words of support;
I took my wife out for a meal and a chat last night.
She has convinced me to at least wait a while before telling my mother about my sexuality.
As for dressing up; apparently Im on a few hotlists. Who would have thought it? That felt really good to find out. So thank you to those of you who messaged to say that.
On Saturday, in a club on a straight night, I felt like a Natzi at a bar mitzvah. I hadn't realised I was quite so fragile emotionally.
My lovely wife has suggested we go to somewhere like Trans Fem for a makeover and photo shoot. A positive, encouraging environment may make me feel better about this.
I don't think this is the last we'll see of Rachael. I think she has a lot to learn though.
Love to you all
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh; I booked a hotel last night to whisk her away tomorrow night. Just us. "
Your wife and mum are lucky to have you and they sound like great supportive women to have in your life. You sound like a lovely lady and your mum may just surprise you if you tell her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh; I booked a hotel last night to whisk her away tomorrow night. Just us. "
We all have down days x make the most of your time away and rejoice in the good times that Rachael has brought you!
We all get self doubts over so many things, rest assured there is a lot of love in the room for you and who you are xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Update for all those who have messaged me words of support;
I took my wife out for a meal and a chat last night.
She has convinced me to at least wait a while before telling my mother about my sexuality.
As for dressing up; apparently Im on a few hotlists. Who would have thought it? That felt really good to find out. So thank you to those of you who messaged to say that.
On Saturday, in a club on a straight night, I felt like a Natzi at a bar mitzvah. I hadn't realised I was quite so fragile emotionally.
My lovely wife has suggested we go to somewhere like Trans Fem for a makeover and photo shoot. A positive, encouraging environment may make me feel better about this.
I don't think this is the last we'll see of Rachael. I think she has a lot to learn though.
Love to you all
"
Your wife sounds like an amazing partner and if she is understanding of your needs she may be giving you the best bit of advice about not telling your mum! Does your mum need to know? Or do you feel it's something you need to tell her! Only you and your wife truly know the best way to go with it and wish you all the best with it.
(oh and your on my hotlist too, if it helps). |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm truly taken aback but the positivity of you all.
So many lovely things have been said in open forum and behind the scenes.
Yesterday I was tiling a bathroom at work, close to tears at times.
I took the risk of laying my heart bare on the sacrificial bench of the fab forums and every single post that has followed has been supportive & caring.
You lovely people, along with my wife, really have made a difference in my life.
Thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm truly taken aback but the positivity of you all.
So many lovely things have been said in open forum and behind the scenes.
Yesterday I was tiling a bathroom at work, close to tears at times.
I took the risk of laying my heart bare on the sacrificial bench of the fab forums and every single post that has followed has been supportive & caring.
You lovely people, along with my wife, really have made a difference in my life.
Thank you. "
love the forums xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you everyone for your kind posts and private messages.
I think this started because I was discussing telling my mother about my sexuality with my wife last night.
Being bisexual is one thing but this dressing up thing..... Well I can't even explain it to myself no matter anyone else. "
Where does it say "you have to explain it"? There is no right or wrong and if people were less judgmental about things considered "out of the normal" we would all be happier. I say "embrace, accept and love yourself" Sorted |
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