FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > One step beyond... : )

One step beyond... : )

By *ickens Cider OP Man over a year ago

taunton

So folks... how do you get to the next stage...

You find a profile of interest... you message them... they reply...(cool!) you reply... they ask questions... you answer them openly and honestly... they say thats okay... they might still be confused over a point or two... you expand and answer their concern... message deleted?... I'm blocked from their profile... huh? but everything was going so well... its truely baffling!?

OR Am I just generally a waste of fucking time... I so don't get this here now... things seem to go well and then suddenly WHAM! I'm hung out to dry... how do you get anywhere? I even get it with those that have given me mobile their mobile number or MSN and we've been happily texting or chatting?

I've even got to the stage of final arrngements for meets and people bug out on me... what the hell do I do wrong? I'm honestly stunned now that it happens every bloody time... are there genuine people in here anywhere? hum...

Help or advise or just a hot meet would be cool... anybody fancy breaking my bad luck?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unfortunately things like this happen

Best thing ta do is forget it and carry on lol

You are dealing with people and ya knows the old saying

There's nowt as funny as folk xx

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By *ickens Cider OP Man over a year ago

taunton

Fair enough comment... but seriously its happening everytime? It so dishearting... it truely is... why bother chatting in the first place or why give mobile or msn contacts... why not plan and simply meet me fisrt in person... I'm more than happy to be rejected at that stage... in person face to face... if I don't do it for you there in person on the day then thats fine... its the same for everybody... but I just don't ever get that far? Some will have messaged or chatted for weeks and then stop or block? so wahy waste each others time? its baffling... and starting to be annoying... I'm geniune... if I say I'll meet then I will... or rather would... haven't been given to chance to follow up my promise yet... hum...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

could be they hit the block button in error ...ive done that its very easy to do !!! but you can unblock if you realise youve nmade a mistake ...

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

"Fair enough comment... but seriously its happening everytime? It so dishearting... it truely is... why bother chatting in the first place or why give mobile or msn contacts... why not plan and simply meet me fisrt in person... I'm more than happy to be rejected at that stage... in person face to face... if I don't do it for you there in person on the day then thats fine... its the same for everybody... but I just don't ever get that far? Some will have messaged or chatted for weeks and then stop or block? so wahy waste each others time? its baffling... and starting to be annoying... I'm geniune... if I say I'll meet then I will... or rather would... haven't been given to chance to follow up my promise yet... hum... "

That's life though, there must be something that puts them off and it is easier to reject you online here rather than face to face.

It might take them that long to realise that you are not what they are looking for and don't want your "dick inside her"

You just have to put the rejections behind you and move on though!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"It might take them that long to realise that you are not what they are looking for and don't want your "dick inside her"

You just have to put the rejections behind you and move on though!

hahahaha i just got his username now

i know its hard to take but it really is the way things go. i have had messages sent to me then i go to reply for the first time to find i have been blocked

explain that one!!

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By *aughtyinguMan over a year ago

swindon

ive been on a few dating sites, from my experience its 1-3% meet rate :\

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

before i reply to a message I look and check a profile before I respond as sometimes a message can be good the profile could be not what your looking for

i dont block unless i really have to

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If it's happening *every* time, might I suggest you are doing something offputting at the same stage everytime?

Not being offensive, honestly, and I do suppose that "everytime" needs to be defined - is it twice or 102 times? if it's 2, it's bad luck I guess, if it's a lot, well... Alls I know is that everyone we've had any sort of back and forth chat with, we've met.

We also keep it brief - mail on site, mail offsite, make a plan, swap numbers, set a time. 5, 6 mails max.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My guess is...

Having read your profile...you may be using humour in a way that may be misinterpreted by some people...and you may be unintentionally upsetting or offending someone ...

It could be some of the things you are saying are very funny..but sex and humour can be a very fine line to tread....dont know ..just a guess based on a quick look at your profile...could be way off the mark..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If it's always at the same stage of chatting do you suddenly drop a bombshell like something you want to do or try?

Do you have an example you can share? I like having a laugh so long as it's not to the expense of others - so far I may have confused a little but never been dropped after chatting. However if someone says no then don't take offense - learn & move on.

I'm sure you'll get your dickens due course.

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"If it's always at the same stage of chatting do you suddenly drop a bombshell like something you want to do or try?

I'm sure you'll get your dickens due course."

you so remind me of Zorro...

Not that I know him personally of course.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The first thing to know is that it is not just happening to you, and not just to single males either, 99% of people who make contact with us that we would like to get to know better, dissapear after a few mail contacts.

We don't think it's our fault, ok that sounds big headed but take a look at our profile, we couldn't be more honest or upfront about ourselves.

So, we think it's people who didn't bother to read the profile first and find later that we are not what they are looking for, thier fault, they are the timewasters they should have checked first and others are just timewasters, dreamers and dillusioned, they see a profile they like and make contact even if they are hundreds of miles away and never really going to make the effort to come and see us (profile says we dont travel)

The important thing is not to be put off by it, don't let it get you down, just keep an open mind and hope that the next person will be more genuine or realistic.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

and ............ I must get out of this habit of always having something to add to my posts ......... and remember that we all enjoy the chase in relationships some people enjoy it more than the catching at the end of the chase and even feel a little dissapointed when they have caught the person they are chasing, maybe, just maybe some "would be swingers" are like that, love the chase but when they have caught you and a meet is on the cards they lose interest and move on, probably not even concious of what they have done being a bad thing.

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

"and ............ I must get out of this habit of always having something to add to my posts ........."

You might just have too much to say though!

Just kidding!

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By *ickens Cider OP Man over a year ago

taunton

"and ............ I must get out of this habit of always having something to add to my posts ......... and remember that we all enjoy the chase in relationships some people enjoy it more than the catching at the end of the chase and even feel a little dissapointed when they have caught the person they are chasing, maybe, just maybe some "would be swingers" are like that, love the chase but when they have caught you and a meet is on the cards they lose interest and move

on, probably not even concious of what they have done being a bad thing."

Best You Guys... Finally I find a polite and understanding post from like minded people that have had the same issues I've found... no matter what people rant or said against it... It happens... And finally I'm glad it's just not me...

There are too many righteous people in here with little thought or sentiment to indivduals feeling...

I've seemed the thoughts and advise of others openly in here and personal messages and have made tweaks along the way... And my contact and response have no doubt improved...

So I've got to the state of people complimenting me on a funny humourous profile... cool.. I'm click with people I understand and hopefully they'll understand me...

Great let's try out the chatting bit then... Messages.... Msn... Texting... At last progress... This is what it should be... then it's sorry love I'm going to have to cancel tonight... Which isn't an issue... At All!!! So try then to pick up from where we had got to.... Nothing... It's all blanks.. No replies... Ignored.. Some block you...

It just very cruel and heartless... Don't you think? Wouldn't even mind if they just got back and said sorry but I've had a think about it and sorry just can't... wouldn't that be nice... Polite even? Just once in a while surely?

So I thought it was just me from the get a life and move on crowd that pray on you in here... If you you don't understand the issues I've found then don't beat us about with the "I've never had and issue with things... Blah blah"

Um...

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By *harpDressed ManMan over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"Blah blah"

To sum up - you only want to hear from people who agree with you?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OR Am I just generally a waste of fucking time...

Reading through all your posts in this thread, we are inclined to simply go with the above statement, that you opened with.

Sorry.

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By *ollie_JCouple over a year ago

London

I wouldn't get hung up on it.. in reality this is a sex site

Sure in the forums or chat rooms you can be all vanilla and make friends - but in the big picture it's a place for like minded people to get their rocks off

It's not rocket science and as with normal life their are muppets out there..

Just go with the flow...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Second post I've read from same OP basically just moaning moaning moaning. I (Tom) was a single guy on here for a while but u just need a bit of patience, be polite and if ur knocked back just take it on the chin. Most folk don't particularly like posters who are always negative.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You come across as very uptight to me from your forum posts, I can only imagine how you are if a meet is in sight: pushy perhaps?!!

I know you get upset when people say "get a life"...but really, why are you so uptight?!!

I use this site for light relief, if it made me angry and frustrated I wouldn't hang around that's for sure!

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