FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Does a verification help?
Does a verification help?
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By *marla OP Couple
over a year ago
London |
What do you think of users verifications? I mean...would you turn someone down only because they have no verification?
I personally think it's quite a dumb vicious cycle, plus if you meet someone that has not been verified before..she/he cannot give you a verification! Isn't that crazy?
What do you think?
Buonanotte x |
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I've met unverified people. Just have to go with your gut instincts and always a social first or meet in a club in case they dont turn up. Always been a success for me and had no timewasters *touch wood*  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmm.
Arranged a meet with a verified user who turned out to be a scammer. Should have looked closer at the dates of the veri's I suppose - both the same day and the day I was supposed to be meeting.
Also arrnaged meets with a couple of unverified new users. Figured they have to start somewhere right.
Both no-shows. First even deleted their account.
Consider it a lesson learned now and as a result am much more careful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends how long they've been on. If someone just sends us a lame one line message or a wink and they've been on for months and months (or years) and have no veris then I wouldn't even bother with a reply.
If it's a few weeks or they make a clear effort to prove their genuine i.e send a nice thought out message with clear face picks and say they're happy to cam/social meet then yeah.
We've been on here before and lost our veris (cannot contact previous meeters due to various reasons) and so for all everyone else knows we're not genuine. However we have cam veris and always make an effort to prove we're real and not here for wasting peoples time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The only time we ever got messed about was a verified couple. Verifications are just one of the tools we use to make our decisions and we got let down because we went outside of our usual safeguards for selection... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I have found that whether someone is verified or not, it doesn't prove genuine and that they will turn up, nor does it prove they are the age they claim either  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've blocked non verified members but only to cut down messages and so I know the person is who they claim to be. I'm aware veri's can be faked but fakes are usually easy to spot. I have messaged newbies and non verified members but it was the usual talk about it then disappear but I have met non verified as in had photo verification but not meet verification and had a great time. Some veri's have put me off meeting people if the person they met stipulates bareback for example. I think you have to use common sense as they can be a double edged sword, too many you're a slut, too few or none, you're fake and some guys who have verified me have been hassled by other users asking things about me but that's easily sorted by the block button. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends how long they've been on."
I agree with this, now whilst I appreciate I will not be yiur cupmof cappuccino, to have been on the site for a yer without verifications would trouble me. But because like every red blooded male, I think with my dic, looking at your photos, I'd risk it!
;p |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be suspicious of a too quick veri, like same day they joined as mentioned above AND if they had been on here a long time with no veri.  "
But my first vari was the day I joined fab, the meet had been a week before and it was him that told me about fab, as ion as I joined I text him and he got me started  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be suspicious of a too quick veri, like same day they joined as mentioned above AND if they had been on here a long time with no veri.
But my first vari was the day I joined fab, the meet had been a week before and it was him that told me about fab, as ion as I joined I text him and he got me started "
Many people have been on here before also and contact people they've met on a previous profile to verify them. I've had a few ask to verify them when they've rejoined. |
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I find the idea of using the opinions of a total stranger in deciding to meet another total stranger absolutely ludicrous. I know what I'm looking for and ALWAYS arrange a social meet first at a place and time of my choosing.
If they have work commitments etc I MAY meet at the weekends, again at a time and place of my choosing. In seven years never had a no show from unverified men and seldom leave verifications. I only display one as it mentions my other half and from a club organiser.
That said, I've not met people because of their verification: ie "safe sex only" in every sentence of their profile, yet a blow by blow verification from someone who only does bareback meets! |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
For many veri's are a useful tool to show someone has actually gone to the effort of contacting another, meeting (socially or for fun) and that at least once (often more than once) has been proved to be a real person - rather than a faceless profile that sits behind a keyboard or webcam.
To others? They mean Jack shit!
Veri's are part if the picture. Not all of it. We use them as a gauge - a kind of 'risk minimisation'. As we generally only meet at parties or clubs there's usually sod all risk. But if we meet privately the odds are it will be with someone with veri's, and if not we'll have done our 'due diligence' with a phone call, pre-meet social - and won't travel out of our way. That way we've little to lose and won't ever be out of pocket money wise, or have wasted valuable free time which is in short enough supply.
So yes. Veri's are important to us and useful. But we can use other tools (common sense being the main one!) to make decisions should someone either not have any or choose not to show them.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I have blocked unverified users.
It's not hard for a woman to get a verification if they are serious about using the site.
 "
You have loads of verifications |
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By *marla OP Couple
over a year ago
London |
"Depends how long they've been on. If someone just sends us a lame one line message or a wink and they've been on for months and months (or years) and have no veris then I wouldn't even bother with a reply.
If it's a few weeks or they make a clear effort to prove their genuine i.e send a nice thought out message with clear face picks and say they're happy to cam/social meet then yeah.
"
Appreciate the advices guys.. but unfortunately our experience goes against what most of you say. 
It's more than a year we are on here and we haven't managed to find anyone to play with and therefore we haven't managed to get a verification… it's a cycle: We don't have a verification and therefore people won't give us a verification…hahah
We are lucky we have found some girls to play with off the internet :P |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Depends how long they've been on. If someone just sends us a lame one line message or a wink and they've been on for months and months (or years) and have no veris then I wouldn't even bother with a reply.
If it's a few weeks or they make a clear effort to prove their genuine i.e send a nice thought out message with clear face picks and say they're happy to cam/social meet then yeah.
Appreciate the advices guys.. but unfortunately our experience goes against what most of you say.
It's more than a year we are on here and we haven't managed to find anyone to play with and therefore we haven't managed to get a verification… it's a cycle: We don't have a verification and therefore people won't give us a verification…hahah
We are lucky we have found some girls to play with off the internet :P"
You're seeking the smallest population on site. Veri's or not it will never be easy.
As is often advised - go to clubs (or socials - there's a London one coming up soon I believe.). You may not meet anyone you want to play with but a veri should be easy to obtain.
That would give you that little green tick. Which in turn should counter your argument that a lack of one is preventing you meeting.
After that? It's the same as for everyone else - how appealing your profile (haven't looked!) and messages are.
Good luck.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wont meet anyone who hasn't got verifications because you wont know enough about them, what sort of people they are, or they might only be wanting to meet you just to get a verification. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We do read them, but you can't beat the face to face.
Every one of our veris we have received and given have been great meets.
Some lovely people and good memories and laughs we have had along the way.
Her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have unverified blocked and it works for me
however I meet lots people who im first to verify at partys and clubs, whether we have played or not, im very sociable so I would advice unverified to try socials, clubs or partys to get on the verification ladder |
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it does help in that at least we know you'll show and arn't a fantasist just having a wank on a fantasy site while his wife is in bed.
That said, a good email and a good personality go a long way and quite a few of our veris are guys who had none when they met us. First impressions *do* count, regardless of what 98.4% of fab members appear to think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you think of users verifications? I mean...would you turn someone down only because they have no verification?
I personally think it's quite a dumb vicious cycle, plus if you meet someone that has not been verified before..she/he cannot give you a verification! Isn't that crazy?
What do you think?
Buonanotte x"
Like everything verifications are open to abuse. I was recently chatting to someone who had two veris however on closer inspection both veris profiles were similar if not identical apart from a change of name. |
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We all have to start somewhere and before we were verified loads of people accused us of being fake. But fake people tend to get bored if a person is genuine they tend to not mind that most normal people are cautions of meeting a complete stranger! If someone expects you to meet them down a dark alley after 5 min chat and get annoyed if you are not willing to do that due to them not being verified I'd delete and move on |
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Yes they count.
I do not expect to get an instant meet, so often add a profile to my hotlist so that we can chat when the time is right for both of us.
If when I look ata profile on my hotlist there is a user I winked well over a year ago and they still do not have a verification (even a social meeting) then I delete from my list.
I will meet for a coffee and verify, everyone has to start somewhere even if we do not click, showing up counts as genuine on my book.
Likewise if I have met a guy at a social I am then also happy to verify them too - that is not an easy first step too! |
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By *andcCouple
over a year ago
London and Cheshire |
We don't meet unverified people for one on one meets.
This is many due to meeting single guys! There are loads on here who are just dreamers, they want to dip their toe in but back out at the last minute..we have had loads who talk the talk, but when it comes to the meet just cannot walk the walk.
But to get around this issue we now mainly meet at clubs, this way we get around the email ping pong etc..and even if they are not verified we can at least see they are actual players.
The point about the problem getting a meet if no-one is willing to meet people without verifications is easy to get around, via club meets or socials.
One last point about verifications we don't take much notice about what other people actually say! That was their personal opinion and we might not jell the same, but we use it as an indication that someone will actually turn up and they are actual players and not dreamers or wanna-bees |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If im honest I wouldn't be rushing to meet someone thats been on here over a year with no verifications
If it was me id start all over from scratch"
I agree. Some moan its difficult to get verified but there seems to be so many organised socials now that it would be easy to get started by attending such an event. I also think social veri's are good to have as it show's the person is prepared to get out there and make an effort to get known on the scene. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I have blocked unverified users.
It's not hard for a woman to get a verification if they are serious about using the site.
You have loads of verifications "
Sshhhhhh  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends how long they've been on. If someone just sends us a lame one line message or a wink and they've been on for months and months (or years) and have no veris then I wouldn't even bother with a reply.
If it's a few weeks or they make a clear effort to prove their genuine i.e send a nice thought out message with clear face picks and say they're happy to cam/social meet then yeah.
Appreciate the advices guys.. but unfortunately our experience goes against what most of you say.
It's more than a year we are on here and we haven't managed to find anyone to play with and therefore we haven't managed to get a verification… it's a cycle: We don't have a verification and therefore people won't give us a verification…hahah
We are lucky we have found some girls to play with off the internet :P"
You could have gone to a social and got a dozen in a night. (Not from playing)
Over a year and not put any effort in at all to get verified after deciding that not being verified is a problem = either fantasists who are never going to meet anyway. Or more likely a single dude pic hunting. |
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By *marla OP Couple
over a year ago
London |
Apprently you can't really read, can you?
'We are lucky we have found some girls to play with off the internet :P'
This alone will stop you from being rude and judgemental without knowing a thing about us? Some fellas.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Depends how long they've been on."
I agree with this, now whilst I appreciate I will not be yiur cupmof cappuccino, to have been on the site for a yer without verifications would trouble me. But because like every red blooded male, I think with my dic, looking at your photos, I'd risk it!
;p"
We wouldn t as a year unverified even by cam or attending a social is too much too long,and before you all start going on about use the site the way you want to use it its primary use is to swing |
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By *marla OP Couple
over a year ago
London |
The main reason is that we haven't been very active lately..well, not active at all, as I said..we've been lucky to find a girl offline, so we didn't really need to use this website..
Well...we'll find a way to get one eventually |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends how long they've been on. If someone just sends us a lame one line message or a wink and they've been on for months and months (or years) and have no veris then I wouldn't even bother with a reply.
If it's a few weeks or they make a clear effort to prove their genuine i.e send a nice thought out message with clear face picks and say they're happy to cam/social meet then yeah.
Appreciate the advices guys.. but unfortunately our experience goes against what most of you say.
It's more than a year we are on here and we haven't managed to find anyone to play with and therefore we haven't managed to get a verification… it's a cycle: We don't have a verification and therefore people won't give us a verification…hahah
We are lucky we have found some girls to play with off the internet :P
You could have gone to a social and got a dozen in a night. (Not from playing)
Over a year and not put any effort in at all to get verified after deciding that not being verified is a problem = either fantasists who are never going to meet anyway. Or more likely a single dude pic hunting."
  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The main reason for me as well why I don't have many veris is cos I use the forum more and as well my bodybuilding takes up a lot of time, you don't get abs like van damme by sitting down lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Verified or not I don't think it really makes much of a difference.
As I do have a verification but hasn't made much more of an impact to be honest,
If you gonna get a meet you'll get one, verifications don't up the stakes so to speak.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Verified or not I don't think it really makes much of a difference.
As I do have a verification but hasn't made much more of an impact to be honest,
If you gonna get a meet you'll get one, verifications don't up the stakes so to speak. "
On the other hand you can block unverified people but not vice versa,We take no notice of people photo verified but no meets after a year or over,we take no heed of cam verifications as wanking on cam or sitting on cam like a plum does not prove anything..except you wank on cam which isnt really clever,the phone veries went a while back also which is good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The kind of veri's that I find rather dubious are those from someone who just so happens to have known them for ages etc rather than being from an actual meet.
If anything, this actually puts me off, as it doesn't reassure me that the person will bother to turn up.
I think, if the whole verification system were to be revised, it would be better if there was some sort of method that involved actually setting up a meet through the site - by way of a calendar based system, for example (something simpler might work too) but a system which essentially registers that a meet has been arranged between two profiles - which is then followed up with a feedback page which allows users to confirm that the other turned up etc and then allowing users to enter any other information they might wish to.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The kind of veri's that I find rather dubious are those from someone who just so happens to have known them for ages etc rather than being from an actual meet.
If anything, this actually puts me off, as it doesn't reassure me that the person will bother to turn up.
I think, if the whole verification system were to be revised, it would be better if there was some sort of method that involved actually setting up a meet through the site - by way of a calendar based system, for example (something simpler might work too) but a system which essentially registers that a meet has been arranged between two profiles - which is then followed up with a feedback page which allows users to confirm that the other turned up etc and then allowing users to enter any other information they might wish to.
"
This idea is all and well and good if you want the details of your sex life on record. A lot of people for various reasons don't.
Because someone turns up and meets you it does not mean they can't mess me about. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"The kind of veri's that I find rather dubious are those from someone who just so happens to have known them for ages etc rather than being from an actual meet.
If anything, this actually puts me off, as it doesn't reassure me that the person will bother to turn up.
I think, if the whole verification system were to be revised, it would be better if there was some sort of method that involved actually setting up a meet through the site - by way of a calendar based system, for example (something simpler might work too) but a system which essentially registers that a meet has been arranged between two profiles - which is then followed up with a feedback page which allows users to confirm that the other turned up etc and then allowing users to enter any other information they might wish to.
"
It's not the sites responsibility to manage, arrange or verify meets.
It's a members.
The site is nothing more than a contact tool that gives various other tools that you can choose to use or ignore.
It works fine for most.
A |
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Verification's mean f-all. Obviously no one would meet someone who has been on here a year without a veri but it's about the content in your profile. You could have a gazillion verifications but if you have nothing on your profile then surely you won't get anywhere. Even a meet doesn't guarantee you'll get a verification. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
This idea is all and well and good if you want the details of your sex life on record. A lot of people for various reasons don't.
Because someone turns up and meets you it does not mean they can't mess me about."
I never said anything about needing or wanting to see details of someones sex life, and I totally agree that just because someone turns up for one meet doesn't mean that they will necessarily turn up for another.
I suppose it all depends on how you personally interpret a verification that matters - and you make your own decision, but I do think that the current system is open to abuse.
To be fair, there are always going to be people who have some desire to ruin things for everybody else - so I don't really think it's possible to have an entirely flawless system. |
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