FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > The secrets to getting women!
The secrets to getting women!
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Hello!
I've been on here a while and it seems that there are a massive men who complain about not getting replies, etc, and ultimately not being able to get a woman on here.
Men, you are not alone. In the UK it is normal for very very few women to want NSA sex. Men are more openly sexual. This shows in fab where I believe the ratios are in between 50/100:1 in favour of women. This is the primary reason why its harder for men, simply supply and demand.
However! Here are some tips to help you on your way:
Make a female friend and learn from her. Ask, listen and learn. You'll be surprised how much you can learn about their sexuality and how they work. The more friends the better. Just listen and learn!
As regards fab though:
Make your profile stand out. Your pics should be clear and in a light background. You should be smiling. Have a few of your best pics. If you want cock pics, limit them. Also make sure these are good pics. No picture at all is better than a bad pic.
When you message a woman, make your message stand out. Do not use text speak. Read through her profile and look for any clues for conversation starters. Be polite, do not talk about sex in the first few messages. Never over compliment a woman either. When you get a reply, do not reply straight away and NEVER look desperate. Have the attitude that you are not worried if the woman doesn't reply as there are plenty more. Never push for a reply, if she ignores you, leave her and don't message her again for a while if at all. When you do reply, take time and write it an I way where it creates a hook. Best way to do this is to ask a question in the reply. When messaging, NEVER show desperation.
Make sure the text in your profile reads well. Don't use text language. Do not say anything which directly complements yourself. Do not say anything negative about anything or anyone. Do not say anything which directly or indirectly shows any sort of desperation. Try to arouse interest in your text and don't talk about sex in depth in your profile.
Slowly build up to sex talk over a number of messages and try to be friends with the woman rather than just trying to get into her knickers! Hundreds of men on here just want sex, you can be 'special' if there's more to you than sex. Be different, put effort into it, stand out and above all, do not show desperation!
NEVER talk about other women whether in a good light or not. Although you may or may not have had others, don't tell them about it. It doesn't help you!
So, anyway, what you may realise is that its not that difficult! You've just got to do the right things and avoid the no go areas. You don't have to be good looking either!
I hope this helps!
 |
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I quite agree with this.
If this message were to be pasted up and available as a permanent fixture for all to read in this Message Board area, we would have far fewer threads from unhappy single men looking for meets/replies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Spot on!
I think on here can be lazy, thinking sex will just fall into their laps, they need to make the effort to get our attention otherwise they're gonna end up spitting their dummies out! |
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I'm totally with you on this one...
But I always think posts like this are akin to saying, do the same as you would in the real world.
I.e. don't hound, don't get your cock out, be articulate, not desperate, don't be pushy.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm totally with you on this one...
But I always think posts like this are akin to saying, do the same as you would in the real world.
I.e. don't hound, don't get your cock out, be articulate, not desperate, don't be pushy.
"
Exactly I try to give this advice all the time, imagine you are in a bar and see somebody you want to approach and do the same as you would in real life.  |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
While I admit this apporach might work for some, it won't work on everyone.
If I was a man I would find this rather patronising. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way but its how it comes across to me. |
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"While I admit this apporach might work for some, it won't work on everyone.
If I was a man I would find this rather patronising. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way but its how it comes across to me."
I suppose it is quite patronising but for those who are interested, well, here it is, out in the open. |
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"While I admit this apporach might work for some, it won't work on everyone.
If I was a man I would find this rather patronising. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way but its how it comes across to me.
I suppose it is quite patronising but for those who are interested, well, here it is, out in the open."
Well I suppose that anything resembling a comprehensive guide like this risks appearing patronising but, if it substantially reduced those endless "can't get a meet" posts where the same pleading elicits the same advice time and time again, then I for one don't really mind being patronised.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One thing you forgot to mention in that thread is don't have a message that is trying to make them feel sorry for you because you can't get a meet ... couldn't believe when one guy did that to me i immediately blocked him did he really think i would have sex with him to boost his own moral and because i felt sorry for him erm NO |
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"One thing you forgot to mention in that thread is don't have a message that is trying to make them feel sorry for you because you can't get a meet ... couldn't believe when one guy did that to me i immediately blocked him did he really think i would have sex with him to boost his own moral and because i felt sorry for him erm NO "
Heartless you are, heartless |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Couldn't agree more. So many guys come straight through and blatently just say. Are u up for a fuck. Needless to say they are completely ignored. Big turn off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Couldn't agree more. So many guys come straight through and blatently just say. Are u up for a fuck. Needless to say they are completely ignored. Big turn off"
Respect for a lady in the messages says a lot about a guy as well ? (Hopefully) lol |
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"Spot on. Niw if only men will pay attention fab will be a nicer place."
Unfortunately the great majority of pleading messages on here from single guys ostensibly seeking help and advice are really seeking attention, hoping to start a dialogue in the forum which will lead to an eventual meet. Either it is that or just venting their frustration; so many are given sound practical advice about their threadbare tatty profiles that is completely ignored.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm totally with you on this one...
But I always think posts like this are akin to saying, do the same as you would in the real world.
I.e. don't hound, don't get your cock out, be articulate, not desperate, don't be pushy.
"
How true! I'm much more likely to respond to a massage that treats me as an ordinary person...
I've lost count of the number of times I've been through this conversation:
Him: "Fancy a fuck" (or something very similar)
Me: "No thanks" (if I'm in the mood to reply)
Him: "Why not - why are you on here then???"
Me: *Block*
 |
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"I'm totally with you on this one...
But I always think posts like this are akin to saying, do the same as you would in the real world.
I.e. don't hound, don't get your cock out, be articulate, not desperate, don't be pushy.
Exactly I try to give this advice all the time, imagine you are in a bar and see somebody you want to approach and do the same as you would in real life. "
Exactly! !!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hear you and it makes sense - also fed up listening to moaners who think by signing in they'll have an endless supply of messages in their inbox begging for them to come and have sex at a time and place that suits them . I'm surprised no one has had a go at you for the title of the post - how to get women sounds a little caveman like .  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I quite agree with this.
If this message were to be pasted up and available as a permanent fixture for all to read in this Message Board area, we would have far fewer threads from unhappy single men looking for meets/replies "
Yes but would the whingers read it? The sensible men here would but I don't think they're the ones who post the poor me threads |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I don't mind men saying positive things about themselves in their profiles. I like to know what they consider those points to be and how they describe them.
However, claims such as heavy cummer and can lick all night put me right off. I want to know about their personality, not think about being drowned in cum before I'm even interested.
I like a man to get pleasure and to cum during play but the cum itself is not appealing to me. |
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"I quite agree with this.
If this message were to be pasted up and available as a permanent fixture for all to read in this Message Board area, we would have far fewer threads from unhappy single men looking for meets/replies
Yes but would the whingers read it? The sensible men here would but I don't think they're the ones who post the poor me threads "
I quite agree but if it could somehow be permanently visible in this or another Message Board then all anyone need write in reply to a new poor-me thread is...Take a look at the Single Male Charter above.. (or whatever it's called) and there'd be no need or argument to answer any further whining.. |
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"I quite agree with this.
If this message were to be pasted up and available as a permanent fixture for all to read in this Message Board area, we would have far fewer threads from unhappy single men looking for meets/replies
Yes but would the whingers read it? The sensible men here would but I don't think they're the ones who post the poor me threads
I quite agree but if it could somehow be permanently visible in this or another Message Board then all anyone need write in reply to a new poor-me thread is...Take a look at the Single Male Charter above.. (or whatever it's called) and there'd be no need or argument to answer any further whining.. "
We could make a refined guide! I guarantee my guide-like post is flawed in some way! But good idea though!!! Refer to the getting wen guide... |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"While I admit this apporach might work for some, it won't work on everyone.
If I was a man I would find this rather patronising. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way but its how it comes across to me."
no offence... thats exactly how it sounds to me.... mind not have been the intention, certainly is the consequence
and you are likely already posting that to people who already know....
I don't really see people up and down the country going "wow... didn't know that!!!"
all that those people need to know is "basic common sense"... it people struggle to work out the rest, thats on them, and to be perfectly honest posts like this have unexpected consequences.....
you make it harder for those who "get it" to stand out.....
you make it harder for the people doing the choosing to work out who "gets it" for those who followed templates....
you make it easier for those people who are interesting in stringing people along by providing template |
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"While I admit this apporach might work for some, it won't work on everyone.
If I was a man I would find this rather patronising. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way but its how it comes across to me.
no offence... thats exactly how it sounds to me.... mind not have been the intention, certainly is the consequence
and you are likely already posting that to people who already know....
I don't really see people up and down the country going "wow... didn't know that!!!"
all that those people need to know is "basic common sense"... it people struggle to work out the rest, thats on them, and to be perfectly honest posts like this have unexpected consequences.....
you make it harder for those who "get it" to stand out.....
you make it harder for the people doing the choosing to work out who "gets it" for those who followed templates....
you make it easier for those people who are interesting in stringing people along by providing template"
Well it seems to me that whilst the advice is rooted in common sense, as most good advice is, there are still some useful tips to those starting out on here, some of which are obvious, some less so.
I don't see that it is likely to take attention away from those who already "get it", and the fact that there are more out there who do now "get it" doesn't make me feel in the slightest bit insecure about any possible new competition.
After all those that may be getting strung along can make their own judgement. |
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By *eKoopleCouple
over a year ago
Germany / Manchester |
"While I admit this apporach might work for some, it won't work on everyone.
If I was a man I would find this rather patronising. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way but its how it comes across to me."
This is far from patronising, many men on here complain this site is poor because of the time they've been here and can't get a meet. If some of them took a little advice away with them, it may increase their success rate.
The only men I can see finding this patronising would be those who don't make an effort, expect sex and don't want to change. -Mr.
|
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"Hello!
I've been on here a while and it seems that there are a massive men who complain about not getting replies, etc, and ultimately not being able to get a woman on here.
Men, you are not alone. In the UK it is normal for very very few women to want NSA sex. Men are more openly sexual. This shows in fab where I believe the ratios are in between 50/100:1 in favour of women. This is the primary reason why its harder for men, simply supply and demand.
However! Here are some tips to help you on your way:
Make a female friend and learn from her. Ask, listen and learn. You'll be surprised how much you can learn about their sexuality and how they work. The more friends the better. Just listen and learn!
As regards fab though:
Make your profile stand out. Your pics should be clear and in a light background. You should be smiling. Have a few of your best pics. If you want cock pics, limit them. Also make sure these are good pics. No picture at all is better than a bad pic.
When you message a woman, make your message stand out. Do not use text speak. Read through her profile and look for any clues for conversation starters. Be polite, do not talk about sex in the first few messages. Never over compliment a woman either. When you get a reply, do not reply straight away and NEVER look desperate. Have the attitude that you are not worried if the woman doesn't reply as there are plenty more. Never push for a reply, if she ignores you, leave her and don't message her again for a while if at all. When you do reply, take time and write it an I way where it creates a hook. Best way to do this is to ask a question in the reply. When messaging, NEVER show desperation.
Make sure the text in your profile reads well. Don't use text language. Do not say anything which directly complements yourself. Do not say anything negative about anything or anyone. Do not say anything which directly or indirectly shows any sort of desperation. Try to arouse interest in your text and don't talk about sex in depth in your profile.
Slowly build up to sex talk over a number of messages and try to be friends with the woman rather than just trying to get into her knickers! Hundreds of men on here just want sex, you can be 'special' if there's more to you than sex. Be different, put effort into it, stand out and above all, do not show desperation!
NEVER talk about other women whether in a good light or not. Although you may or may not have had others, don't tell them about it. It doesn't help you!
So, anyway, what you may realise is that its not that difficult! You've just got to do the right things and avoid the no go areas. You don't have to be good looking either!
I hope this helps!
"
Thanks for sharing! I think you should probably put this up every few weeks... lol |
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"I'm totally with you on this one...
But I always think posts like this are akin to saying, do the same as you would in the real world.
I.e. don't hound, don't get your cock out, be articulate, not desperate, don't be pushy.
Exactly I try to give this advice all the time, imagine you are in a bar and see somebody you want to approach and do the same as you would in real life.
Exactly! !!! "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Blokes need to stand out, If every Male used this template then the ratio would still be 100/1 or whatever but that Lady would be trawling through 100 standardized messages instead of instantly ignoring the twatish fancy a fuck ones, be grateful for all the nut jobs it makes it easier for you interesting singles
Gimp  |
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"Blokes need to stand out, If every Male used this template then the ratio would still be 100/1 or whatever but that Lady would be trawling through 100 standardized messages instead of instantly ignoring the twatish fancy a fuck ones, be grateful for all the nut jobs it makes it easier for you interesting singles
Gimp "
I've carefully re-read the OP's advice and each of his points and cannot see how this might lead to hundreds of standardised identical messages, because he is not prescribing what guys should write so much as how they should approach the whole process of communicating on the site, both in their profiles and in their messages.
If this then leads to a significant improvement in our attitude and behaviour, then surely that must be welcome as I read countless justifiable complaints from women and couples about rude and moronic first messages... |
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"In defence... I have no problem being a little caveman like..."
Hmm, caveman behaviour can be very very hot. In fact maybe your caveman behaviour needs to be rated and I know just the person to check it.  |
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"you didn't mention using the forums to post pseudo-empathic threads as a means of raising the profile of your profile.
"
LMAO
Of course if every single man follows this advice the women on this site will be shagged out and no one will be getting any.
Won't they?
Seriously guys, if you are successful on this site keep it to yourself.
Spreading the word just leads to:
You finding it harder to get meets (more competition)
Couple and single females finding it harder to find the good guys. At the moment they stand out like a sore thumb |
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