FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > The all new blocking debate...
The all new blocking debate...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I occasionally message people who I would like to know better or think thst perhaps I might interest them. Now I appreciate it is their choice to delete the message, and indeed have no issue with them blocking me.
However, oh wise people of the forums, I seek your guidance.
I know people get swamped and might not have time to say no thanks. I am also not pushy enough to follow up 30 seconds later...
So, bearing in mind you don't get a second chance to make a first impression, is it churlish of me to block them straight off as clearly I didn't make the grade!
Oh this isn't a deleted message whine, for those that know me, clearly it is their loss   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I see a number of women posting statuses about guys messaging them and then blocking them.
At least give them a chance to read your message!
Seems so many guys on here are too impatient.
Out of curiosity, why would you want to block them?
Consider this. You message them.
They have hundreds of messages already to get through - and this is pretty common - so they might not read yours for a while.
When they get to yours, they click on your profile (many women will have a look before reading the message) - only to find that you've blocked them.
Considering there are a LOT of guys on here and quite a few complaining that they don't seem to be getting anywhere it seems to me that you're attempting to Ice skate up hill.
Blokes outnumber women on here by around 100 to 1. Yes, it really is that high.
Give the poor ladies a chance
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sorry. I wasn't quite clear.
I wait for a couple of hours. I routinely tidy up my sent messages so if I see a deleted message that I didn't get a reply to, then I consider blocking. I know people don't live on here so I always give a chance to reply.
Make any more sense? |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Do what you want to do, but give the people a chance to reply. If they read but don't delete you may miss a chance if you've blocked them.
Obviously a deleted message is a no, so block away! |
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Do what you want. If you think blocking is the best option then do it.
You xan always unblock.them if you want a second stab at it. It's not a permanent thing. Unless they block you back of course lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your question was "is it churlish of me to block them straight off as clearly I didn't make the grade!"
My response is yes I think it is, but you can do what you want! lol
Blocking isnt clearing your inbox is it lol. So many people on here believe it's their god given right to have people falling at their feet in grattitude of a message. Get a grip. Its a swingers site lol. No one signs a promise to respond to everyone who gets in touch, be best mates, send christmas cards etc. Its a place for fun, take it or leave it. I am sure people who get messages dont sit there thinking, hmmmmm how can I piss this person off. . . I know I wont message back.
Most of us are 18+ on this fab site. Its a pic and mix of expectations, dreams, experiences and ultimatly what will be will be.
Chill, have fun and smile
Miss Lovepuppies
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't blocked anyone as I just feel I'm being harsh..but I definitely think I'm being too polite as even when I message back with a no Thankyou I get even more messages and if I don't reply straight away I have been known to get abuse! You just can't win even though my profile is very clear as to what I'm looking for! X |
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Do whatever you want. Everyone is entitled to use this site as they please, and no one should whine about being blocked or not getting replies.
We're all supposed to be adults, not kids getting frustrated because we're not getting enough attention.
(end of rant!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why not use the note section and add a few words against their profile. Who knows one day you may block someone who is interested in you and has not had the time or courage to message back. |
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What I take issue with is when I get a message, I read it, intending to respond but can't immediately, and because I don't, get a snippy message along the lines, well you obviously aren't interested and goodbye. Get a grip guys, I do have a life outside Fab!!!! Btw, that attitude gets my block button working lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I only consider blocking someone who has deleted a message without replying. I give them a chance( as in days) to reply. I tried using notes but found that if they deleted my message I'm probably not what they want.
I may have phrased my opening remark quite poorly.
I have sent messages to one or two people who have read it, looked at my profile then blocked me. More than happy with that as it is quite clear... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I might read a mail but not have time just at that moment to reply or my net connection might go down. If you block after a few hours then it could be your loss. "
im still waiting |
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nothing wrong with your process, I do the same. Its annoying when they read your message but dont reply or delete it, or block you. It's best not to get hung up on it, just move on. Who knows one day they might just decide to have a look around and get in touch. But this site isn't really like that. Some are long haulers, some dip toes for short periods. People come and go, and patience is the key. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"nothing wrong with your process, I do the same. Its annoying when they read your message but dont reply or delete it, or block you. It's best not to get hung up on it, just move on. Who knows one day they might just decide to have a look around and get in touch. But this site isn't really like that. Some are long haulers, some dip toes for short periods. People come and go, and patience is the key."
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By *o-jCouple
over a year ago
Outskirts of Notts |
Sometimes I like to have a think or I haven't got the time to rely at that very moment/hour/day and will reply later as with websites might be a day or two before I reply .
but being female it's not really my loss , as they say the 100 to 1 ratio |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"unless they have pissed me off,i block ppl so neither of us make the mistake of messaging each other a few months down the line"
but i do read their profiles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm crap at replying to messages. If you don't get an instant delete you've sparked my interest, unfortunately you'll probably only get a reply if I'm looking for a meet and all my usuals are busy. Oh and the planets are aligned..
Sorry... |
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"I might read a mail but not have time just at that moment to reply or my net connection might go down. If you block after a few hours then it could be your loss. im still waiting"
Are you? Sorry must have got lost in the mail lol |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
If you don't want to try them again at some point, by all means block them.
However, bear in mind I have accidentally deleted messages before. And what doesn't interest me on one occasion may appeal on a different day.
Block if you want to. I don't think it's churlish.
Otherwise, if you think you might like to try messaging them in a while, or if they post a meet request, make a note in your private notes that you messaged them and it was deleted, and when, to avoid messaging again too soon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We just use a block as filtering tool, we may have read their profile and they are not for us it isn't anything offensive on our part that's how we choose to use the site tools |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I might read a mail but not have time just at that moment to reply or my net connection might go down. If you block after a few hours then it could be your loss. im still waiting
Are you? Sorry must have got lost in the mail lol"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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All good tips!
I will err on the side of caution and refrain from the instantaneous block reaction. Mayhap my haste has been too zealous and I fell into the single man bruised ego syndrome...
Not normally my style so I shall shine my shoes and step forward with confidence! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't know if I have been blocked by anyone, But I normally only send messages referring to status updates or something they have said on the forums,
And if they don't respond after a couple of messages I take the hint and don't send anymore |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm pretty much against blocking just because theres no sexual interest.
For me the block button is if I dont like the person or they have behaved untoward.
I like the party scene, I can meet converse,have a laugh and see it just as that.
Furthermore...some people actually change their minds, despite having a message or two from you...unless they specifically say no..I dont see the harm in trying again at a later date, or when they are looking for a meetup.
Perhaps its a difference in why some of us use the site,and how we like to meet..would you turn up to a party knowing you have blocked several people who might be attending...just on the basic fact you didnt like their profile/pics/message(I'm saying a decent message,not a stupid one)..or if you knew they were going back out?,,Personally I'd like to just have a laugh..even if it never gets to any sexual interest.
no should be the easiest thing to say politely to someone whos politely asked..I think this is a big fear many have...the fear of rejecting.Over the years I've met some I'd class as friends...even been in the same environment..and never shagged through no attraction.I wouldnt want to block them/be blocked by them just because we wont have sex. |
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"I'm pretty much against blocking just because theres no sexual interest.
For me the block button is if I dont like the person or they have behaved untoward.
I like the party scene, I can meet converse,have a laugh and see it just as that.
Furthermore...some people actually change their minds, despite having a message or two from you...unless they specifically say no..I dont see the harm in trying again at a later date, or when they are looking for a meetup.
Perhaps its a difference in why some of us use the site,and how we like to meet..would you turn up to a party knowing you have blocked several people who might be attending...just on the basic fact you didnt like their profile/pics/message(I'm saying a decent message,not a stupid one)..or if you knew they were going back out?,,Personally I'd like to just have a laugh..even if it never gets to any sexual interest.
no should be the easiest thing to say politely to someone whos politely asked..I think this is a big fear many have...the fear of rejecting.Over the years I've met some I'd class as friends...even been in the same environment..and never shagged through no attraction.I wouldnt want to block them/be blocked by them just because we wont have sex."
you mean people who aren't interested actually chat and socialise via this site? Well I never.. the people I do get as far as chatting with are usually the ones I get to meet and are friends/acquaintances. I don't do social gatherings, none in my area, so I block if they show no interest and move on. I have never got into socialising with them, so no point in them continuously showing up in my search list. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm pretty much against blocking just because theres no sexual interest.
For me the block button is if I dont like the person or they have behaved untoward.
I like the party scene, I can meet converse,have a laugh and see it just as that.
Furthermore...some people actually change their minds, despite having a message or two from you...unless they specifically say no..I dont see the harm in trying again at a later date, or when they are looking for a meetup.
Perhaps its a difference in why some of us use the site,and how we like to meet..would you turn up to a party knowing you have blocked several people who might be attending...just on the basic fact you didnt like their profile/pics/message(I'm saying a decent message,not a stupid one)..or if you knew they were going back out?,,Personally I'd like to just have a laugh..even if it never gets to any sexual interest.
no should be the easiest thing to say politely to someone whos politely asked..I think this is a big fear many have...the fear of rejecting.Over the years I've met some I'd class as friends...even been in the same environment..and never shagged through no attraction.I wouldnt want to block them/be blocked by them just because we wont have sex.you mean people who aren't interested actually chat and socialise via this site? Well I never.. the people I do get as far as chatting with are usually the ones I get to meet and are friends/acquaintances. I don't do social gatherings, none in my area, so I block if they show no interest and move on. I have never got into socialising with them, so no point in them continuously showing up in my search list. "
ah well..more meets for me then |
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