FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Won't verify me
Won't verify me
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Met a couple last Friday, had a great night and got on really well, I even got invited back a few nights later but had made other plans so couldn't make it. I politely messaged them a few days after to verify me as some ladies and couples only chat to verified people but had no reply.
I thought it would be courtesy to verify someone and prove their genuine? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are they verified if not they cant veri you but yes would be nice if everyone left veris but sorry to say some just collect them and dont leave them. I hope they get round to leaving you one soon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happen quite regularly, usually from couples. Not sure why, but as others have said, ask once, gently remind once and then move on.
If you got one meet, you will get another.
Funnily enough, veris can work against you too. I was turned down by a couple because I had met someone they didn't approve of.
Keep going, don't overthink it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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one way to get verified early is to attend a social meet at a club,
I see that you are based in Cardiff in the week, check out local socials. there is a club in Newport, and The Lodge in Gloucester has a regular social every wednesday.
Both easy to get to from Cardiff. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Doesn't saying there looking to meet men but they haven't blocked single guys
Yeah I'll ask and if not move on, just a bit annoying being first one
Thanks for the support and advice, is a good community on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are they verified if not they cant veri you but yes would be nice if everyone left veris but sorry to say some just collect them and dont leave them. I hope they get round to leaving you one soon."
If you can't verify someone until you're verified then how did anyone get verified in the first place? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are they verified if not they cant veri you but yes would be nice if everyone left veris but sorry to say some just collect them and dont leave them. I hope they get round to leaving you one soon.
If you can't verify someone until you're verified then how did anyone get verified in the first place?"
no idea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Doesn't saying there looking to meet men but they haven't blocked single guys
Yeah I'll ask and if not move on, just a bit annoying being first one
Thanks for the support and advice, is a good community on here"
The first 7 or 8 meets I had on here weren't verified themselves so it too me ages to get verified  |
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"
If you can't verify someone until you're verified then how did anyone get verified in the first place?"
Maybe the person that started the website knew people and they joined and were verified by the owner, or maybe the rules weren't in place then, or maybe..............
Whatever, it's the rules now that matter and it's not hard to get verified. |
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Hang on a minute! Nobody is under any obligation to verify another person are they? They might have good reasons and are being tactful and despite the fact that they can easily identify themselves from this thread we only have one side of the story.
Op it feels unfair and harsh I know but you can't do anything about it. Also you might consider that if they've seen this being discussed they might be even less inclined to verify now.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hang on a minute! Nobody is under any obligation to verify another person are they? They might have good reasons and are being tactful and despite the fact that they can easily identify themselves from this thread we only have one side of the story.
Op it feels unfair and harsh I know but you can't do anything about it. Also you might consider that if they've seen this being discussed they might be even less inclined to verify now.."
I have to agree to this. I have met a couple of guys that I haven't verified, the reason being that they were very strange and I ran a mile from both. I had nothing nice to say and didn't want other people to think they were OK when in my eyes they weren't. Not saying this is true for you OP but it could be that for some reason they just don't want to verify you. If you had to show all verifications then I'd have likely done it and told the truth, but what's the point for it to be hidden and people just think someone is safe when they maybe aren't. |
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"Are they verified if not they cant veri you but yes would be nice if everyone left veris but sorry to say some just collect them and dont leave them. I hope they get round to leaving you one soon.
If you can't verify someone until you're verified then how did anyone get verified in the first place?no idea "
The often-cited advice on that one is to get verified on cam or at a social event |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hang on a minute! Nobody is under any obligation to verify another person are they? They might have good reasons and are being tactful and despite the fact that they can easily identify themselves from this thread we only have one side of the story.
Op it feels unfair and harsh I know but you can't do anything about it. Also you might consider that if they've seen this being discussed they might be even less inclined to verify now.."
As usual, what they said   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are they verified if not they cant veri you but yes would be nice if everyone left veris but sorry to say some just collect them and dont leave them. I hope they get round to leaving you one soon.
If you can't verify someone until you're verified then how did anyone get verified in the first place?no idea
The often-cited advice on that one is to get verified on cam or at a social event"
Think you missed the point there |
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"Are they verified if not they cant veri you but yes would be nice if everyone left veris but sorry to say some just collect them and dont leave them. I hope they get round to leaving you one soon.
If you can't verify someone until you're verified then how did anyone get verified in the first place?no idea
The often-cited advice on that one is to get verified on cam or at a social event
Think you missed the point there"
Err.... I don't think so.
Those are the alternative ways to getting veris from meets, and how many get started which addresses the question "how did anyone get verified in the first place?"
How it started way back with the very first verification ever on Fab is anyone's guess... The Big Bang Theory?  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Met a couple last Friday, had a great night and got on really well, I even got invited back a few nights later but had made other plans so couldn't make it. I politely messaged them a few days after to verify me as some ladies and couples only chat to verified people but had no reply.
I thought it would be courtesy to verify someone and prove their genuine?"
Only if they liked you emough to verify you.
You don't say if it was a social or sexual meet ( and I am not asking ) but maybe they didn't like you as much as you thought.
It could be something as simple as they were too busy to verify you at the time..... in which case starting a thread about it might put them off altogether now. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The fact they invited me back round a few nights later to meet again, unfortunately I had plans, so don't think it was bad meet, but will move on anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are they verified if not they cant veri you but yes would be nice if everyone left veris but sorry to say some just collect them and dont leave them. I hope they get round to leaving you one soon.
If you can't verify someone until you're verified then how did anyone get verified in the first place?no idea
The often-cited advice on that one is to get verified on cam or at a social event
Think you missed the point there
Err.... I don't think so.
Those are the alternative ways to getting veris from meets, and how many get started which addresses the question "how did anyone get verified in the first place?"
How it started way back with the very first verification ever on Fab is anyone's guess... The Big Bang Theory? "
So it doesn't address the question then. As you say, its anyones guess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If we have met someone, and had a good time, I always verify the next day.
If they don't want to return one, just think never mind, but saying that we have a fair few now.
We would always give a veri to good company though.
Her |
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"Are they verified if not they cant veri you but yes would be nice if everyone left veris but sorry to say some just collect them and dont leave them. I hope they get round to leaving you one soon.
If you can't verify someone until you're verified then how did anyone get verified in the first place?no idea
The often-cited advice on that one is to get verified on cam or at a social event
Think you missed the point there
Err.... I don't think so.
Those are the alternative ways to getting veris from meets, and how many get started which addresses the question "how did anyone get verified in the first place?"
How it started way back with the very first verification ever on Fab is anyone's guess... The Big Bang Theory?
So it doesn't address the question then. As you say, its anyones guess"
There doesn't seem to be any point in figuring out how it started in the first place..it's certainly no help to the OP. |
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By *at-cWoman
over a year ago
Ballyshannon |
It may be they took you turning down the second meet as a polite way of saying you didn't want to meet them again ever. While you're not obliged to meet again some might take it as a) I'm just not into them, not what I expected or b) I only met them to get the veri, for that reason they might feel offended. If you indicated to them you were unavailable at that point but would like to arrange at another point then this probably isn't the reason. None of us would like to think the green tick was the main motivation for the meet, no harm in making sure this isn't what's being thought. |
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"The fact they invited me back round a few nights later to meet again, unfortunately I had plans, so don't think it was bad meet, but will move on anyway"
I think you may be reading too much into it - remember this is a couple, and it may well be that one half has read your message asking about a veri, but the other hasn't. Or they haven't had a chance to talk about it yet. Or they want to spend a bit of time together deciding exactly what they want to say.
It's very easy to over-think what other people on the site do, and why they do it. Life is too short to stress over what somebody hasn't done - if no veri ever arrives, you still had a meet that you enjoyed!
Best of luck
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I thought the whole point of a verification system was to verify that the person was REAL, the same as their pics, and turned up as arranged. Not a judgement on whether their sexual prowess or personality traits.
Couldn't be too much trouble to say. "turned up as arranged; as seen", you don't have to display the text of a verification so even it's a little cold or noncommittal, it can be tucked away  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some don't like too as don't wish people to know who they meet they like to keep things to themselves .. and yes may of all had a fab time but feel its just for you all to know not others. |
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"The fact they invited me back round a few nights later to meet again, unfortunately I had plans, so don't think it was bad meet, but will move on anyway
I think you may be reading too much into it - remember this is a couple, and it may well be that one half has read your message asking about a veri, but the other hasn't. Or they haven't had a chance to talk about it yet. Or they want to spend a bit of time together deciding exactly what they want to say.
It's very easy to over-think what other people on the site do, and why they do it. Life is too short to stress over what somebody hasn't done - if no veri ever arrives, you still had a meet that you enjoyed!
Best of luck
"
All true and particularly the part about one of the couple having read it but the other hasn't can be extended to a range of situations where an expected reply is simply not forthcoming as it was the "wrong" partner who read the initial message....that happens a lot.  |
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"Well don't I look like a dick now haha"
No you don't! You were concerned about something and you've had various answers hopefully they will all help you to see how things look from different perspectives.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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don't worry OP happens a lot I had a few meets this weekend only one has verified me and being verified isn't the be all and end all verified users can waste your time as much as unverified one trust me on that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I thought the whole point of a verification system was to verify that the person was REAL, the same as their pics, and turned up as arranged. Not a judgement on whether their sexual prowess or personality traits.
Couldn't be too much trouble to say. "turned up as arranged; as seen", you don't have to display the text of a verification so even it's a little cold or noncommittal, it can be tucked away "
Although I agree there are is no need for an eBay style feedback with details when verifying, I didn't personally feel safe with the two I met up with and didn't verify. Therefore even verifying that they turned up etc would make me uneasy that others may meet them on the back of my veri, then have a bad experience. I would then feel responsible. |
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"I thought the whole point of a verification system was to verify that the person was REAL, the same as their pics, and turned up as arranged. Not a judgement on whether their sexual prowess or personality traits.
Couldn't be too much trouble to say. "turned up as arranged; as seen", you don't have to display the text of a verification so even it's a little cold or noncommittal, it can be tucked away
Although I agree there are is no need for an eBay style feedback with details when verifying, I didn't personally feel safe with the two I met up with and didn't verify. Therefore even verifying that they turned up etc would make me uneasy that others may meet them on the back of my veri, then have a bad experience. I would then feel responsible."
I think that as with everything on here how people use the tools available is entirely up to them and nobody should have to justify themselves unless they are abusive and nasty. I think you were entirely right not ti verify in these cases.
It is hard when others don't do as you would like them to but there's not a lot any of us can do about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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as to be said i rarely leave veris but saying that i dont really expect them either. the veris we do have are from very select people who we enjoyed the company off. maybe they was miffed you didnt go play second time . my advice is never expect a veri fication |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah they are and have verified other, very confused by it"
Maybe they weren't happy with the meet and thought better to say nothing than not nice things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Met a couple last Friday, had a great night and got on really well, I even got invited back a few nights later but had made other plans so couldn't make it. I politely messaged them a few days after to verify me as some ladies and couples only chat to verified people but had no reply.
I thought it would be courtesy to verify someone and prove their genuine?"
Its a bit ruff but some people just don't give them. |
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it could be something as simple as you both used the same ISP address.
from what i understand, if, for example you met at their home and logged into FAB while using their wi fi, then it stops them from giving you a veri.
i believe this is something admin have put in place to stop people with more than one account from verifying themselves |
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