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Beginner bondage
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Me and my girlfriend are starting to get into some simple bondage (hand cuffs and blindfolds). This is very innocent in our eyes and we would like to take it to the next level, does anyone have advice on rope bondage or spreader bars or gags and anything else of the bondage and bdsm lifestyle that they would like to share? Keep in mind we are twenty years old so we really are young and nieve. |
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Be careful with handcuffs, it is very easy to damage nerves.
Anything that restricts bloodflow should be timed and subject to a 15 minute max.
Always use a safeword.
Most importantly, enjoy it, it's meant to be fun  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd suggest trying leather cuffs before metal ones, and if there's a lock make sure there's a spare key somewhere safe but accessible! If you're looking for a munch, you might want to join the website Fetlife. It's free to join and you'll easily find details of munches in your area. |
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"I'd suggest trying leather cuffs before metal ones, and if there's a lock make sure there's a spare key somewhere safe but accessible! If you're looking for a munch, you might want to join the website Fetlife. It's free to join and you'll easily find details of munches in your area. "
we have leather cuffs and it helps that I'm a fan of leather anyway. You can also find all sorts of stuff in every day household items, we sometimes walk round a supermarket and A will hold something up and just look at me......  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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That's very hot actually, don't know why that turned me on lol. But I did just apply to fetlife and holy cow, there is a "munch" close to me. Kind of intimidated about going, but I think curiosity will get the better of me...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Try to find your local fetish munch you will find plenty of local friendly people willing to help you out safley "
 And find a local (or travel if necessary) fet market as the products are far better quality and value than high street retailers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One other suggestion. I don't know if you and your gf go to clubs, or what the club scene is like in your area, but if there's a club that does a BDSM or fetish night then it may well be with a visit. You'll get new ideas and you'll be able to try things out with some experienced people on hand to help out or offer advice. |
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
"One other suggestion. I don't know if you and your gf go to clubs, or what the club scene is like in your area, but if there's a club that does a BDSM or fetish night then it may well be with a visit. You'll get new ideas and you'll be able to try things out with some experienced people on hand to help out or offer advice."
If you can get to manchester last sunday afternoon of each month cant recomend The Kage highley enough realy good place for fetishists new and old
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Leather or other material cuffs are far safer than metal handcuffs. Spreader bars are easy to make. All you need is some 6mm dowel, two eye, a drill and paint to suit.... easy easy and lots of fun rope bondage is an art and should be learnt from some one who knows what they are doing. If you go to your local Bdsm munch im sure someone will point you in the direction of the nearest rope workshop. Oh yeah, have fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just to hammer home the point, rope bondage has a lot of safety points to keep in mind like pressure points and where to and not to place the knots. Learn from someone. All bondage can potentially restrict bloidflow or damage nerves so go along to your local group and ask for someone to teach you. There's no reason to be scared. Oh, and actually learning from several people's styles is also if benefit. No one person really knows it all. Relax, learn, be safe, and enjoy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree with all the above!
Learn where the main arteries and veins are then work our where they are on your gf. Same for nerves as excessive pressure will cause permanent damage.
If you're using gags, make sure she has another way to communicate if she needs you to stop (such as a hand wave) even then don't rely on her using a safe word or sign - use your judgement. If you think you need to stop, stop!
Sensory play is the best way to start in my opinion. Blindfolds, headphones, ice, hot wax, feathers, pinwheels, all opposites will have her twitchy and jumpy!
Do 'play' the way that feels right for you both. Ignore those that say that their way is the right way (unless it's safety related!). Do research (lots!). Never approach anyone in the middle of play - if you want to ask them questions, it's best to ask a dungeon monitor or event organiser to advise you when you can approach them (as there may be aftercare taking place after the scene so do not approach them straight away). Learn the etiquette (which can be different from event to event so ask!).
Ask for recommendations regarding BDSM equipment - avoid cheap websites. Local craftsmen and women have reputations to uphold and are personally accountable for any issues with their products.
Realise that things will go wrong - you have to be able to discuss. How you handle mistakes and learn from them is vital.
crystal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Looks like he was after wanxxing material,
the Guys in America, Single profile, but talks about what he wants to do with his G.F....
BDSM is a bit more than buy a toy and use it! |
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Join kink academy.com
Great way to learn.
Use the rope (I'd go for jute) on yourself, it's the best way to practice and splash out in the padded cuffs.
And if you start to explore the whip, Victor Tella every time... Soooo sexy you will just want to hang them on your wall....
If your handy, scaffolding from the metal store.co.uk is great to make adjustable restraining rigs, just remember to get the plastic caps and some foam
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"Looks like he was after wanxxing material,
the Guys in America, Single profile, but talks about what he wants to do with his G.F....
BDSM is a bit more than buy a toy and use it! "
lol, how many "single" guys on here have a wife or girlfriend, that's no indication of anything |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Looks like he was after wanxxing material,
the Guys in America, Single profile, but talks about what he wants to do with his G.F....
BDSM is a bit more than buy a toy and use it! "
I wasn't asking anyone for any wanking material I was asking for advice. And I have gotten some very good feedback, I created this profile when I was like 18 and haven't updated it in forever. So maybe that can cause some miscommunication.
But thank you all for the wonderful feedback! |
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By *itzWoman
over a year ago
south wales |
Personally i would ignore American BDSM porn for guidance. There are exceptions but most of it is nasty. Although the techniques may be sound, other resources may be more informative about BDSM within a loving relationship, in my opinion. |
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Bril. advice so far in thread.
BDSM scene is there in same way as swinging scene (already mentioned)
fetlife has groups specialising on everything including ropework (already mentioned)
Most "leisure" ropework is done with natural fibre rope
- about 10m length of a soft braided rope from an "alternative" shop goes a long way, many say
- 6mm hemp rope is fairly cheap and plenty strong- is popular
- 8mm cotton rope is very soft and interesting to play with
- jute rope has been mentioned - feels nice
-- "building site" "blue rope" (cut-film polypropylene) is far too harsh for leisure use apart from a few "painsluts" (it's much cheaper and much stronger - but that changes nothing)
- have a knife or EMT-shears available at all times to cut rope immediately if something is going wrong / has gone wrong. You should be able to "free" the roped-up person within a couple of seconds
Hope play is good! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Avoid the blue plastic rope like the plague. I don't do rope play, but I remember it with loathing from my time in the Navy cadets at school. If the knots tighten up (and if the person being tied up squirms, they will) you'll never undo them again. You'll have to cut the ropes, and that won't be quick or easy if they're tight around someone. |
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"
Most "leisure" ropework is done with natural fibre rope
"
If the rope is not for exclusive use on one person, but for tying various people up for fun, that might include contact with body fluids, genitalia etc I personally wouldn't recommend using natural fibre rope because of the difficulty of cleaning it between different recipients. The same rule should apply to rope as other toys, clean thoroughly between users. |
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