FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > a bit confused

a bit confused

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I know we can't appeal to everyone its human nature to have different tastes

But what throws me is you get messages where they love the profile, love the pictures and say so in messages then they ask to see your faces ( ours or in our friends only file ) you oblige and you suddenly get " sorry your not for us " personally I don't think me and the old hubster arnt that minging but are you telling me that 75% of the fabbing population are all about looks????

We personally give everyone a fair crack at the whip and we aren't interested in the " message, meet,fuck " trend that some prefer here

So can some one please give us the heads up!

Or have I got it all wrong?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'll be honest and say looks are important to me. I have turned people down after seeing photos, as have I been by others.

I'm not shallow but know what I like, if the face doesn't do it for me, then it's a no!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

we have had this - we have also had wow you look so much more gorgeous for real then your pics - what fits one doesnt suit another simples

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Many people will deny it but I suspect the large majority of people will make their decisions based around what they can see in pictures.

It's just how it is when people are meeting, attraction is a big deal when one can pick and choose who to meet....................

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it's all down to the laws of attraction - and the fact that different things do it for different people.

Just as you might love somebody's body and face pictures, but when you actually meet them, their personality isn't attractive to you. So for others, the body and the personality might be great, but it's the face that just doesn't quite tick the box for them.

To each their own...

I know how it feels though - most of my responses are "thanks but no thanks"...though I do look like a reversing baboon, so I think that may have something to do with it!

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple over a year ago

Leicestershire

The drawback of using the Internet to find meets.

Much easier in the real world

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

I wouldn't want to play with someone I don't fancy.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

It is all about looks. Fortunately not everyone find the same people attractive, else I would be SOL.

Someone, somewhere will find you attractive.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Someone, somewhere will find you attractive.

I think in my case, that person is probably in Broadmoor!

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Someone, somewhere will find you attractive.

I think in my case, that person is probably in Broadmoor!

Well not being able to see your face I can't comment about that, but there's someone in York who finds your body pretty lovely.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks guys we too have been told we are gorgeous more than once and that our pictures don't do us justice.

we both prefer mental stimulation, sexy and attractive are more than the physical for us.

Personally when browsing I always check veri's and those that verified as it can give a good idea what people look for but it can make you feel like shite especially when the ones turning you down don't pass for anything super special.

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Someone, somewhere will find you attractive.

I think in my case, that person is probably in Broadmoor!

Well not being able to see your face I can't comment about that, but there's someone in York who finds your body pretty lovely.

Seconded by someone in Norfolk!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks guys we too have been told we are gorgeous more than once and that our pictures don't do us justice.

we both prefer mental stimulation, sexy and attractive are more than the physical for us.

i deal with it by thinking those sort of people arent the ones we would meet - we have met people that look so different than the pics - but we knew we would get on with and for us thats all good xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Someone, somewhere will find you attractive.

I think in my case, that person is probably in Broadmoor!

Well not being able to see your face I can't comment about that, but there's someone in York who finds your body pretty lovely.

Seconded by someone in Norfolk!

thirded - cute bum

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Thanks guys we too have been told we are gorgeous more than once and that our pictures don't do us justice.

we both prefer mental stimulation, sexy and attractive are more than the physical for us.

i deal with it by thinking those sort of people arent the ones we would meet - we have met people that look so different than the pics - but we knew we would get on with and for us thats all good xx"

Agreed it can and has made me feel like poop but starting to adopt the same attitude

I just wanted some different prospective on this

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"Thanks guys we too have been told we are gorgeous more than once and that our pictures don't do us justice.

we both prefer mental stimulation, sexy and attractive are more than the physical for us.

Rejection is something that will happen on sites like this....this last comment shows you can't take it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

another thing we do is always attach face pics of both of us - then we never know who isnt liked - mind you we have had the odd one who has stated who they dislike - but we wouldnt meet someone that insensitive - they get blocked

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks guys we too have been told we are gorgeous more than once and that our pictures don't do us justice.

we both prefer mental stimulation, sexy and attractive are more than the physical for us.

In a wicked twist,why don't you only message super special people and then if they turn you down you won't feel like shite

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im confused as to what your confused about.... you chat, photo swap, some dont fancy you, end of. Don't take it to heart or assume they must be an arse just accept your not going to float everyone's boat and move on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im confused as to what your confused about.... you chat, photo swap, some dont fancy you, end of. Don't take it to heart or assume they must be an arse just accept your not going to float everyone's boat and move on

^^ this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks guys we too have been told we are gorgeous more than once and that our pictures don't do us justice.

we both prefer mental stimulation, sexy and attractive are more than the physical for us.

Do you fancy every single person you see in the street? Would you fuck them? Probably some people won't be your type. It's the same for everyone.

Saying that someone isn't 'super special' is a bit rude. So you would have fucked them even though you weren't attracted to them?

Doesn't mean you are ugly or anything like that. They just don't fancy you. Some people will... some won't....

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan over a year ago

London

Meh.... I get this all the time, send a pic, then nothing...

Wipe your mouth and move on...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"another thing we do is always attach face pics of both of us - then we never know who isnt liked - mind you we have had the odd one who has stated who they dislike - but we wouldnt meet someone that insensitive - they get blocked "

I think it's unfair to say someone 'dislikes' you. Just because they aren't attracted to you doesn't mean it's a bad thing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

its always hard facing rejection and single lads must feel it the worst on here .

but its chin /chins up and shout nxt ...

we cant and wont appeal to everyone not even when you meet someone when your out on the town . never mind on fab

but im sure you will find those or single lad who will like who you both are its just Case of looking out and sifting through them till you do .

good luck tho x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Posts like this make me laugh along with when we turn people down call you pic collectors etc.

We have a type facially if people dont fit in that type we don't take it any further.

We not bothered about body type but faces hold the key for us. That may be blunt but this is a fun recreational activity for us, if either one of us was "taking one for the team" or having sex with someone just for the sake of it or so we didn't hurt their feelings then it would no longer be fun.

Rejection happens on sites like this not everyone is attracted to everyone, do you expect to walk into a normal club and have everyone fancy you?! You need to learn to accept rejection and not take it to heart

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Thanks guys we too have been told we are gorgeous more than once and that our pictures don't do us justice.

we both prefer mental stimulation, sexy and attractive are more than the physical for us.

Rejection is something that will happen on sites like this....this last comment shows you can't take it."

So are u saying you've never been turned down and not felt the sting of it????

If so I tip my jat to you and your hard shell!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

*hat*

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

We always do the same and like you we have also had the same pointed out to us...just because your behind a key board doesn't give anyone the right to be so rude but my visits to the forums I see it constantly which is a shame

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Rejection is something that will happen on sites like this....this last comment shows you can't take it.

So are u saying you've never been turned down and not felt the sting of it????

If so I tip my jat to you and your hard shell!"

Thanks, I quite like my hard shell...it stops me insulting anyone if they reject me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Someone, somewhere will find you attractive.

I think in my case, that person is probably in Broadmoor!

Well not being able to see your face I can't comment about that, but there's someone in York who finds your body pretty lovely.

Seconded by someone in Norfolk!

Damn I'm grinning like a slightly deranged Cheshire cat now! lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Someone, somewhere will find you attractive.

I think in my case, that person is probably in Broadmoor!

Well not being able to see your face I can't comment about that, but there's someone in York who finds your body pretty lovely.

Seconded by someone in Norfolk!

thirded - cute bum

Thirds...?!? Normally I'd say I was just being greedy, but what the hell...I'll take it! lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Rejection is something that will happen on sites like this....this last comment shows you can't take it.

So are u saying you've never been turned down and not felt the sting of it????

If so I tip my jat to you and your hard shell!

Thanks, I quite like my hard shell...it stops me insulting anyone if they reject me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thanks, I quite like my hard shell...it stops me insulting anyone if they reject me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it's unfair to say someone 'dislikes' you. Just because they aren't attracted to you doesn't mean it's a bad thing.

not a bad thing at all - just a bit rude to say oh one is ok but the other isnt and to actually state which - something we wouldnt do - it doesnt affect us now - just move on as i said before

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks guys we too have been told we are gorgeous more than once and that our pictures don't do us justice.

we both prefer mental stimulation, sexy and attractive are more than the physical for us.

Do you fancy every single person you see in the street? Would you fuck them? Probably some people won't be your type. It's the same for everyone.

Saying that someone isn't 'super special' is a bit rude. So you would have fucked them even though you weren't attracted to them?

Doesn't mean you are ugly or anything like that. They just don't fancy you. Some people will... some won't...."

This

Also reading veris don't always work out, not wanting to sound nasty but I've read loads that say "wow these people are gorgeous, really sexy etc" looked at their pics and thought "really !?!!!"

We all like different things and thank the Lord we do

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ive only seen one rude comment and that was yours about people that have turned you down

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it's unfair to say someone 'dislikes' you. Just because they aren't attracted to you doesn't mean it's a bad thing.

not a bad thing at all - just a bit rude to say oh one is ok but the other isnt and to actually state which - something we wouldnt do - it doesnt affect us now - just move on as i said before"

Fair point. There are ways of being polite. x

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By *it of fun cplCouple over a year ago

village between York and Hull

There has to be physical attraction for us, shallow yes but that is how we are. We have rejected guys on a face pic then met them at a social or club and liked them. We may miss out on a few good meets But with so many messages we find it works for us judging off a pic.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks guys

Some of the comments have been hard but hey I posted a " confuse " post and you take it on the chin.

A broard spectrum of replies and all taken on board.

Thanks again

Mel xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sadly I have a face that could sink a fleet of ships so it happens often

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By *issBehavingxxWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

"Someone, somewhere will find you attractive.

I think in my case, that person is probably in Broadmoor!

Well not being able to see your face I can't comment about that, but there's someone in York who finds your body pretty lovely.

Seconded by someone in Norfolk!

thirded - cute bum

Fourthed (if thats a word lol) from Glasgow

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have to fancy physically and have a personality chemistry before we play ! We aren't everybody's cup of tea but that's life! X her !!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For me its not all about looks as its just a shag at the end of the day

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's funny... there's been a couple of threads now where people who get turned down due to their looks try and explain that being unattractive to someone doesn't mean they think they're ugly. The dictionary definition of ugly says "displeasing in appearance". If someone's turned you down based upon your looks it means you have a displeasing appearance to them. Suck it up... and get over it

The real issue here is not whether someone thinks you're ugly or not... it's whether you believe their opinion matters or is some kind of objective truth in any form. It doesn't and it isn't.

To run around saying "just because they found me unattractive doesn't mean they thought I was ugly" is a vanity project that stinks of hurt feelings. Rejection is rejection. Whether they think you're ugly, or your music is crap, or your art is tacky, or your personality is boring. The key to getting over it is not to invest in some fantasy world where you can imagine they really did like your looks, your music, your art, or whatever. It's to learn that other people's opinions, when they are negative opinions, are utterly irrelevant and move on

Dealing well with rejection is a tough cookie... but if you can master it the world's your oyster, you can ask for what you want without fear, you can reach for your dreams. You see... it's not all doom and gloom

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Someone, somewhere will find you attractive.

I think in my case, that person is probably in Broadmoor!

Well not being able to see your face I can't comment about that, but there's someone in York who finds your body pretty lovely.

Seconded by someone in Norfolk!

thirded - cute bum

Fourthed (if thats a word lol) from Glasgow

In this context, it's definitely a word! Feel free to use it at will! lol

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By *ark NoirMan over a year ago

London

Quite a lot of guys complain about the attitude of some couples with their heads being stuck up their asses, looks like OP is showing some of that attitude, just saying.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think you have answered your own question when you say everyone had different tastes.

I shouldn't think you are minging but people know what they like.

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