FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > how do you stand out?
how do you stand out?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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There are a lot more guys than women on here and I would love to know wgat you girls want to hear.
Frequently I write, not crudely or direct but asking what you're looking for only to get deleted without so much as a 'not my type' 
I love flirting, innuendos and certainly tactile approach so please help me & others who are relatively new here, to understand what terminology works best
Thanks, Mike (Southampton) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me and most other women, from what I have read, "what are you looking for" in an email is one of the most boring questions. I know that I will delete without responding if that's what a first or even second message says. If you have read the person's profile it will tell you what they are looking for. You have to be more interesting than that  |
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There is no one size fits all message I'm afraid, women are individuals.
It's often a question of patience and perseverance.
Your profile does make it seem as if you're in a relationship too and that will stop some women but not all.
Best of luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By your own.admission.on your previous threads your married and playing away this is going to be yout biggest challenge to overcome when it comes to meeting on here as many dont condone it but tgere will be some willing to meet you regardless so be patient polite and keep trying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are a lot more guys than women on here and I would love to know wgat you girls want to hear.
Frequently I write, not crudely or direct but asking what you're looking for only to get deleted without so much as a 'not my type'
I love flirting, innuendos and certainly tactile approach so please help me & others who are relatively new here, to understand what terminology works best
Thanks, Mike (Southampton) "
Ignoring that you're married (not every woman reads the forums), a "what are you looking for" message is a sign that you didn't bother to read the profile so why bother responding. If you attach pics of your cock in the first few messages, some wouldn't respond. I know it's some what a sex site but dick pics should only be sent if requested. If you don't do that then I don't know what it is cause those would be the most obvious reasons to ignore (for me anyway) |
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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago
Staffordshire Moorlands |
"For me and most other women, from what I have read, "what are you looking for" in an email is one of the most boring questions. I know that I will delete without responding if that's what a first or even second message says. If you have read the person's profile it will tell you what they are looking for. You have to be more interesting than that "
This, without a doubt!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Women are generally mental and unpredictable , what they want one minute may not be what they want the next .
They have a creepy weirdo radar built in, and will tell them in the first 2 seconds or. Less if they don't like you . Leave it to long and you become a sweet friend who is always there for them .
And to top it all southampton is a dead spot , and because it's at the bottom of the country it cuts down how many are in reasonable travelling distance.
southampton has only a small number of women who actually meet have a look at the verifications, it will give you an idea of the type of guys they go for
My advice is get a mate who knows how to pull decent looking women , and learn from him , hit the town and always go for women who are young and good looking .
Get new outfits have a look in primark and sometimes sports direct has really good deals on designer stuff .lose some weight, don't smoke , don't get d*unk or even drink decent shoes never trainers or any sort of sports gear unless it's a rugby top. Smell nice , wash everything 3 times at least .
Most importantly get out and meet women in real life, if you can't do it here .
Some will say you only get out of hook up sites, what you put in I reckon the more time you spend on the internet , the less likely you are to meet women in real life . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is no set message you can send, you need to read and respond to the persons profile and tailor your questions if their profile provokes to make you ask a question. Keep your self active within the forums to and get to know people and take things from there. The key thing is to remain patient and respectful of the people you are contacting. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can only speak for myself but when I receive a message from somebody new I always look at their profile before reading the message, if that doesn't appeal to me there is no reason to respond beyond a simple no thanks.
After that it depends whether there is a strong enough physical attraction to the sender, if not again there is little point in responding.
I am drawn to messages which grab my attention because they are funny or original and seem to have been written directly to me rather than a cut and paste sent to all, if the sender has made it this far then it is likely we will continue chatting.
Nobody can tell you what to write, there is no standard message which guarantees the interest of the recipient - we are all individuals with different preferences. As a single guy it takes perseverance, its not easy but it is worth it!!
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I use a mixture of long words, florid language and smashing avatars 
You're such a smooth operator and florid is a brilliant word!!! "
Why thankyou *rolls his wine around the glass* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are lots of these threads....
If everyone followed the advice then all profiles would be magnolia.... and cloned magnolia to boot
Wouldn't be so many cock pics I guess though lol
be yourself... No one else  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By your own.admission.on your previous threads your married and playing away this is going to be yout biggest challenge to overcome when it comes to meeting on here as many dont condone it but tgere will be some willing to meet you regardless so be patient polite and keep trying "
Great advice,
you've got to remember that these single woman and couples get silly amount of messages every day from single guys, so re-read over your message before you hit send button and ask yourself if you think that your message is the same as the hundreds they are already receiving from guys.
I can tell you now, 'how are you', 'what are you into', 'fancy a meet now', 'pic swap' , will not get you a reply unless its a guy posing as a couple or single fem
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By your own.admission.on your previous threads your married and playing away this is going to be yout biggest challenge to overcome when it comes to meeting on here as many dont condone it but tgere will be some willing to meet you regardless so be patient polite and keep trying "
There is no mention of this on your profile OP but that's up to you. I do hope you make people you message aware of this as in our case, and I'm sure some others, it would be a deal breaker. Best of luck. |
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"I seem to stand out. No idea why, but I'm fairly well known and when I'm out a lot of people say hi to me. "
I expect Tina that its the difficult to obtain shade of lipstick that you wear there's nothing else about you that stands out at all  |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"I seem to stand out. No idea why, but I'm fairly well known and when I'm out a lot of people say hi to me.
I expect Tina that its the difficult to obtain shade of lipstick that you wear there's nothing else about you that stands out at all "
Lol, it is quite funny, as I've been dogging and was asked if I was 'Tina Titz off of the net.'
The only time I intend to worry is if I am walking around Tesco in drab mode |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking like east 17 (bryan) like me in the pose 
I've a great tag line for you -
Have 6 pack, will travel "
Thanks and I like that tag line, , have a 6 pack  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To the OP, if you're interested in the person you message as a person rather than just a lay, then it'll be easier to make yourself interesting to them.
Unless a profile has that year-old 'Will fill in later' it's best not to ask directly what someone is into. It suggests pictures have been viewed but not the profile text.
As for what I do in addition to the above to stand out? Honestly, I couldn't pinpoint it. I guess a satisfactory command of the language and politeness (to a fault, it can be said) might help
Having a sense of humour, like Bryan Harvey in here and the ability to laugh at yourself can make you stand out.
And lastly, remembering that it won't all fall out of the sky because it's a swinging site will help you stand out in that it will (or should) help you remain patient and non-pushy/desperate.
Of course, I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said already.
... Or you could just get a six-pack |
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