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What's the best way to ask if your partner would give swinging a try
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Hi all
I'm looking for some advice, would appreciate any help or ways others asked.
I've recently started seeing a girl, were not serious yet but there's potential for it to be.
I have enjoyed going to clubs and meeting couples as a single male and want to see if she would be keen without putting her off me, she is quite adventures and outdoors sex is something she likes so she has a wild side but I'm struggling to articulate the question in a good way
Please help  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She sounds fun so I would imagine she might be ok with it. In my opinion, however, I wouldn't lay the whole swinging thing on her at once... from dogging to orgies... it'll just be too much to take in. If I were you I'd explore her public sex side. Perhaps add a cheeky element of role play to it by getting dressed up or by talking dirty to her about the possibility of getting seen.
Then, when you've got her broken into the idea that you're a bit of a kinky geeza, take her off for a naughty long weekend somewhere where there is a swinging club nearby and drop it as a suggestion. Again... I wouldn't call it a swinging club... perhaps call it an adult club or a sex club... it just sounds more generic and doesn't suggest swapping. Hopefully she'll be game so take her to it and spend the whole night idolising her and making her feel that she's the centre of your attention. Hopefully you'll make her feel so good that she'll want to do it again. Also she might get chatting to some swingers and they'll be able to fill her in on what swinging is without putting you on the spot. Pick a club you haven't been to  Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Discuss fantasies, bring it into conversation when talking sexy or sexting, texts the ultimate way of communicating with the least amount of embarrassment or great if you fear a reaction. Just ask what her biggest fantasy is and reassure her that what ever it is you just want to know, then do the same for yourself but introduce swinging or group sex, agree to make her fantasy a reality if it isn't the same as yours. If it is in which case, easy street. It will take a while if you go about it like this I think, but like another poster said which basically cancels out my whole post but is very true "if you can't talk openly about it" then maybe your not ready |
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I just straight out asked her, but it was in very early days of our relationship, can be more awkward later. She just said no not into it and we never brought it up until a few years ago when I felt like swinging again. |
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"Be honest. "
This really, any relationship must have it's basis in honesty for it to stand a chance of working and will save you months of anxiety wondering how best to approach the subject. Ask yourself what swinging means/does for you then ask your self what it can offer her and you will have a better understanding of how to bring up the idea.if this scene is something you can't give up and she is not into it then she is not right for you. Legal disclaimer: this is just my thoughts and the other posters have all made valid points. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all
I'm looking for some advice, would appreciate any help or ways others asked.
I've recently started seeing a girl, were not serious yet but there's potential for it to be.
I have enjoyed going to clubs and meeting couples as a single male and want to see if she would be keen without putting her off me, she is quite adventures and outdoors sex is something she likes so she has a wild side but I'm struggling to articulate the question in a good way
PORN find some great porn where the girl is loving it then ask her if she would do it. but not the first time you watch watch it plant the idea then let her think about it .good luck
Please help "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's best to just tell her now that it's something you did and enjoyed, you don't have to ask if she'd do it just see what she says once she knows you like it. If things get serious without her knowing then you suddenly lay it on her.... I see that going badly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if there are signs of it being a serious thing rather than a fling id be honest from the off - so many posts on here where fellas have gotten in deep and then dont know how to broach the subject - if its there from the off then you can both talk it over - if its a no for her maybe you stop fab and see how you go - if it doesnt last then come back |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tell her it would really turn you on fucking her infront of people, gauge her reaction and if she agrees, take her to a club, then you can see what she thinks of the whole scene. |
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Mentioned this before on this forum, but we were watching a video shot in La Chambre and starring amateurs; we hadn't discussed swinging up to that point. I (G) asked R if she would like to try that sort of fun; she said she would be interested to see what a club was like and we went to La Chambre for the first time that weekend. The reality was better than the video and that started us off. We took things easy - on our first trip we participated in a busy playroom but didn't swap, on our next few visits we soft-swung until R was ready for a full swap, and we've been playing ever since. |
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What is it that you are ultimatly looking for? Do you want to swap with couples, watch her with guys or just play together and be watched? Dirty talk when having sex is always a good way of planting the seed so to speak. I would be honest with her and say you have been to a club, what happend before you both met is something you can not change, for all you know she might have been a gang bang queen! Talk about your fantasies and be honest. The first thing she will probably think is you want to shag loads of other women, so make sure you explain what it is you would like... good luck and keep us posted.
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