FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Single ladies and married men

Single ladies and married men

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I'm about to embark on this scenario, despite my better judgment. I'm interested to know what experiences other single gals have had with married men. Did it get messy, nasty, purely NSA, a full blown affair or did he even leave his wife for you? I have no preconceptions about what will happen, but I'm interested to hear other ladies experiences. Please don't judge

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

A big no no for me! I met someone, a few years ago who convinced me it was a marriage in name only! Yeah right, what a crock of shit! Trust me! Needless to say he was sent packing lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm about to embark on this scenario, despite my better judgment. I'm interested to know what experiences other single gals have had with married men. Did it get messy, nasty, purely NSA, a full blown affair or did he even leave his wife for you? I have no preconceptions about what will happen, but I'm interested to hear other ladies experiences. Please don't judge

Often they are politer, better manned and generally nicer however they will let you down more, delete profiles at a whim and can't stop the night.

Eyes open though so many who are very convincingly single are not they are just good at keeping their private life to themselves.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Big no for me too. Married guys always put their families first (quite rightly) so they're often unreliable.

I always think karma is a bitch too and I wouldn't like it done to me so I won't so it to another woman.

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By *eerobCouple over a year ago

solihull

3 % of affairs develop into proper relationships. Not good odds really.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

be prepared to hurt

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Pros and cons really. If you don't want a relationship they are great because they can't pester you, but if you do they are not so great because they can't meet regularly. Be prepared to stop wearing perfume, lipstick, and anything else that might transfer. No scratching, biting, or other marks. Usually daytime meets that are quite short.

But if that suits you, go for it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Never judge, do what feels right but go in with open eyes as his family will always come first.

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By *uited staffs guyMan over a year ago

staffordshire

"3 % of affairs develop into proper relationships. Not good odds really. "

Unless you don't want a relationship, in which case they're good odds!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Often they are politer, better manned and generally nicer however they will let you down more, delete profiles at a whim and can't stop the night.

Eyes open though so many who are very convincingly single are not they are just good at keeping their private life to themselves.

How on earth are they nicer? They are lying and deceiving the one person they claim to love more than anyone else. That's not how I define nice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Big no for me too. Married guys always put their families first (quite rightly) so they're often unreliable.

I always think karma is a bitch too and I wouldn't like it done to me so I won't so it to another woman."

Hmm, that's exactly what I'm thinking. But the pull of the 'affair' is so great; so ridiculously exciting.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A big no no for me! I met someone, a few years ago who convinced me it was a marriage in name only! Yeah right, what a crock of shit! Trust me! Needless to say he was sent packing lol

Same scenario my friend had,total bullshit, even when found out he denied it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/07/14 22:02:22]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Been on the receiving end of a cheating ex so ultimately my morals just don't allow me to even go in to that situation knowingly.

The other thing is like what others have said...no reliability, if they can lie to their own wife and family then no doubt they would lie to me too, always the risk of it getting messy etc etc

Would just rather avoid that situation as best as possible but sadly as I've found out (after meeting) a lot of supposed single guys on here aren't very truthful about their marital status!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hmm. There's no positive outcome here is there? Which I knew already, I just wanted to see if there had been any 'success' stories. Looks like there hasn't been any, so I may save myself a whole heap of pain and knock this one on the head. The elicit thought of it all is all so exciting though...

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"The elicit thought of it all is all so exciting though..."

The thought it is much nicer than the reality. You have to think 'what am I getting out of this, compared to what he is getting out of it?' Always being the other woman, yet you'll find often that they expect you to be completely faithful to them.

I prefer to stick to having sex with men who (say they) are single.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hmm. There's no positive outcome here is there? Which I knew already, I just wanted to see if there had been any 'success' stories. Looks like there hasn't been any, so I may save myself a whole heap of pain and knock this one on the head. The elicit thought of it all is all so exciting though..."

It depends on what you're hoping to achieve by embarking on this journey ~

if you're looking for no commitment & meeting up ad hoc generally on his terms then so be it.

if you are after a relationship then it probably ain't gonna happen.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well if you want a relationship you're going to be disappointed. If you're truly after nsa I've met some great guys who I see regularly. It is sometimes tricky to arrange though. And as to moral issue, no one's forcing them, so it's their CHOICE not my fault.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

It depends on what you're hoping to achieve by embarking on this journey ~

if you're looking for no commitment & meeting up ad hoc generally on his terms then so be it.

if you are after a relationship then it probably ain't gonna happen."

I'm not sure. Honestly the primal being has just kicked in I just want to drag him back to my cave and leave it at that. But I know it's not that simple...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had a couple of years of fantastic sex with a married man. Of all my regular men he was the friendliest and more of a friend. I don't get attached to anyone so it's easier for me to let go

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a single man I think it's wrong I have been in relationships and always been fiercely loyal. If a married guy feels the need to cheat then there is something wrong and I would stay away from this scenario

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By *attykitWoman over a year ago

leeds

"The elicit thought of it all is all so exciting though...

I prefer to stick to having sex with men who (say they) are single.

Interesting - Yes. What are guys thoughts on you setting other men? ??

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

It depends on what you're hoping to achieve by embarking on this journey ~

if you're looking for no commitment & meeting up ad hoc generally on his terms then so be it.

if you are after a relationship then it probably ain't gonna happen.

I'm not sure. Honestly the primal being has just kicked in I just want to drag him back to my cave and leave it at that. But I know it's not that simple..."

Its actually quite simple.

Are you really asking if its worth fucking up some poor womans life just so you can get your jollies?

Are you really asking if you should trust a guy who will lie to someone he once claimed to love, and who will drop you like a hot shit and totally deny your existence when things go sideways?

"There's no positive outcome here is there? Which I knew already, I just wanted to see if there had been any 'success' stories"...

You already know the answer, yet you still want someone to remove your guilt by telling you "Go for it, it'll be ok".

It won't be ok, at best, he's cheating on his wife, and you have some fun... at worst, it will trash his relationship, and she's going to get hurt.... I just hope there's no kids!

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By *ing and RideCouple over a year ago

stockport

If you want a horny shag go for it, if you want to be wined and dined, meet at weekends bank holidays and invite him to your weekend BBQ....forget it you ain't gonna get it. Nor are you going to get weekends away. You will get his time as and when he can fit you in. Be prepared to be let down with half hour notice if your lucky. But he will prob tell you his wife doesn't like sex anymore, doesn't talk to him or understand him and he would spend more time with you if he could. Be prepared to be very lonely, but if you only want a fuck then go girl. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do you want to be named in his divorce? He'll continually let you down because of family commitment. Can you cope with that?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

It depends on what you're hoping to achieve by embarking on this journey ~

if you're looking for no commitment & meeting up ad hoc generally on his terms then so be it.

if you are after a relationship then it probably ain't gonna happen.

I'm not sure. Honestly the primal being has just kicked in I just want to drag him back to my cave and leave it at that. But I know it's not that simple...

Its actually quite simple.

Are you really asking if its worth fucking up some poor womans life just so you can get your jollies?

Are you really asking if you should trust a guy who will lie to someone he once claimed to love, and who will drop you like a hot shit and totally deny your existence when things go sideways?

"There's no positive outcome here is there? Which I knew already, I just wanted to see if there had been any 'success' stories"...

You already know the answer, yet you still want someone to remove your guilt by telling you "Go for it, it'll be ok".

It won't be ok, at best, he's cheating on his wife, and you have some fun... at worst, it will trash his relationship, and she's going to get hurt.... I just hope there's no kids!

And yet you freely swap partners; tell me, what is the difference? I don't see how you can be so judgmental when you're swapping partners and condoning threesomes; it's no different!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If its nsa fun you are after, go for it. If its a relationship, maybe try a different site?

As there is another thread going about a married fem having fun, its interesting to see all the negative comments on this one!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

There are literally 1000's playing away from home on here, so I don't understand the harsh judgmental comments. FFS you play with with other people's spouses every weekend at clubs specifically geared up for swapping, so I think it's a bit harsh to judge me on an affair that hasn't even taken place yet!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If its nsa fun you are after, go for it. If its a relationship, maybe try a different site?

As there is another thread going about a married fem having fun, its interesting to see all the negative comments on this one!"

NSA all the way.

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By *issLissCouple over a year ago

south east

You may want to sexy affair but what about the wife on the end of the phone or showing up at your door?

We all know sex can lead to becoming emotionally involved, then what? It started off as sex but now you are attached, involved in something that will lead to someone being in pain.

I've cheated, been cheated on, been the mistress so I'm not judging you but I can say no matter what end you are it hurts. And now I wouldn't be involved in any of it.

Surely there's enough single guys out there just to have dirty sex with?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well if you want a relationship you're going to be disappointed. If you're truly after nsa I've met some great guys who I see regularly. It is sometimes tricky to arrange though. And as to moral issue, no one's forcing them, so it's their CHOICE not my fault.

Unfortunately that's not always the case. I came across a guy who was supposedly single but was surprisingly clingy for someone who wanted NSA fun. Eventually felt like a therapist and now that marriage is over

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By *SweetVioletxWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

The thought makes my stomach feel sick, just imagining being the partner who is being deceived. I could not knowingly inflict that pain on anyone.

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By *REEN GRASSMan over a year ago

worcester

All I can say is If you want to try it just message me LOL

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

It depends on what you're hoping to achieve by embarking on this journey ~

if you're looking for no commitment & meeting up ad hoc generally on his terms then so be it.

if you are after a relationship then it probably ain't gonna happen.

I'm not sure. Honestly the primal being has just kicked in I just want to drag him back to my cave and leave it at that. But I know it's not that simple...

Its actually quite simple.

Are you really asking if its worth fucking up some poor womans life just so you can get your jollies?

Are you really asking if you should trust a guy who will lie to someone he once claimed to love, and who will drop you like a hot shit and totally deny your existence when things go sideways?

"There's no positive outcome here is there? Which I knew already, I just wanted to see if there had been any 'success' stories"...

You already know the answer, yet you still want someone to remove your guilt by telling you "Go for it, it'll be ok".

It won't be ok, at best, he's cheating on his wife, and you have some fun... at worst, it will trash his relationship, and she's going to get hurt.... I just hope there's no kids!

And yet you freely swap partners; tell me, what is the difference? I don't see how you can be so judgmental when you're swapping partners and condoning threesomes; it's no different!

Really?

Everything I do, I do with the full knowledge and consent of Jayne, and vice-versa, no secrets, no lies, nothing hidden, no-one gets hurt, it's sexy, horny, fun, no-one is looking over their shoulder, worrying about getting caught out.

I'm sure you can see the difference, you just don't want to admit you are wrong.

Take responsibility for your own decisions and actions, and any possible ramifications, and stop looking for justification, the bottom line here is that it's morally wrong to actively engage in this sort of relationship, be it transient or something more full-on.

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By *etentMan over a year ago

maidstone

"There are literally 1000's playing away from home on here, so I don't understand the harsh judgmental comments. FFS you play with with other people's spouses every weekend at clubs specifically geared up for swapping, so I think it's a bit harsh to judge me on an affair that hasn't even taken place yet!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd liken this to unwrapping some irresistibly sexily wrapped present only to find a stinky great shit inside it. You know it's gonna get shit...but you still want to unwrap it. But that moment of unwrapping is likely to only last mere moments and when it's gone, which it will in a flash, you're gonna be left trying to get shit off your hands for ages.

I'd suggest doing what most blokes do....leave it in the fantasy department. By all means wank over it...maybe even role play it out with someone off here...but don't do it for real. Enjoy the unwrapping without the shit

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes a married man can have an affair with a single woman and never lie to her. Six years and counting.

And I'll bet some of the people moralizing on here have had sex with a married man at some point without even knowing. Clubs, gangbangs and the like.

You need to know each other well before anything happens though. Treating it like an ordinary meet with a stranger is dangerous

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What are you wanting? NSA it a relationship. If it's the first, then that's up to you, if you can live with it, go for it. If it's the later and you think there could actually be romance, then forget it. He's not going to leave a wife and kids for someone of a site. Is he really?! All the best, whichever you choose.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Seems to me that the op asked for real experiences and got doomsday theories in reply.

I winder if Fab had an option on ladies profiles looking for relationship/or NSA whether this would help matters.

I also wonder about the constant reference to married men. Many men live with partners and can technically describe themselves as single.

Swinging is not in my opinion an area to insist on

marital fidelity.If you are going to have sex with

multiple partners the chances are that many will be

in relationships whether you like it or not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've met one for sex. sales rep. Knew i wouldn't meet him again. I don't want to meet married men. Awaiting backlash

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By *ogillMan over a year ago

high peak

never posted in here, but this has got to me...

If you are looking for a relationship and all that, well good luck!

Why is he playing away... could be many reasons, maybe his wife is playing some power game and he is sick of that and needs someone to talk to..

maybe he just wants to swing...

who knows people are too complex to judge any situation, the reasons are rarely in the open.

My suggestion, go in open minded, have no expectations, if there is more thats good, otherwise nothing lost.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I also wonder about the constant reference to married men. Many men live with partners and can technically describe themselves as single."

Single means no relationship type attachments in my book, ie no wife/partner/girl-friend and opp gender equivalents.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty. "

Very true. It's the man that is choosing to cheat, not me. Why shouldn't I get what I want? And why shouldn't they. There are so many stale relationships out there, why not have some fun and some relief? I'm not responsible for their marriage / shit relationship / actions / vows. If I can keep it NSA, then I see no harm to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier

knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty. "

Wow just looked at your pics dan babe lucky married guys that's all I can say

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty.

Then go through with it with a clear conscience and a light heart if you can honestly see no harm but I don't think you would have started this thread is you really believed that.

I truly don't care what you do but as with the married men who ask similar questions it's the justification and assumptions made that grow wearisome. Just do it!

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By *qua vitaeWoman over a year ago

Shropshire/Midlands

All I would say is be very very careful and take the same precautions as for NSA fun. Don't let him know where you live. Unless he's very good at keeping secrets and hiding any evidence (texts, receipts, bank records, etc), his partner/wife could eventually find out, and you don't want her to eventually turn up on your doorstep assaulting you...

Still practice safe sex. He could be seeing other people too.

Expect to be disappointed when arrangements are cancelled, you don't hear from him for a while, or if the affair only lasts for a short time.

It can be fun and exciting, sometimes can develop into lasting friendships, but keep your feet grounded.

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By *SweetVioletxWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

Yep. Go enjoy yourself as long as you are happy. Don't give a care for the repercussions that might be playing out for another man, woman or child who is out there.

It's completely not your responsibility as long as you and he are getting what you want.

FFS I'm as liberal as they come but with the constant standard of do no harm. Get involved knowingly with a person in a relationship and you are as guilty as they are of the act of cheating and for all the cruel and messy fall out.

Yep I'm as judgemental as hell on this subject and I have every right. I've seen, felt and heard that fallout.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As a single man I think it's wrong I have been in relationships and always been fiercely loyal. If a married guy feels the need to cheat then there is something wrong and I would stay away from this scenario "

As a married lady I would have to say that I think you're wrong. My hubby has had 2 affairs that I know of and several one night stands. I am well educated and not abused but while I don't like what he's done I know that he loves me. He will never leave me simply because I tick all of his boxes. Some men are able to make a separation between naughty sex and real love. I do feel for the ladies that thought he was going to choose them over me but I also think they went into it with their eyes open.

And really before I get ripped to bits for this sometimes the thrill of the chase takes over everything else. ..have fun and try to neither hurt or be hurt

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Very interesting to see the difference of reaction on this thread compared to one a couple of days ago by a bloke wanting to gauge whether he should have a fling with a friend's wife.

On here a lot of people seem to be saying go for it...have your fun while you can

On there it was very much don't do it...be a good guy...you'll feel better about yourself for having done the right thing.

Is it the friend thing that makes the difference? Or is it the gender? The bloke did say the friend was not really a very good friend...so I can only suspect it must be a gender thing...is his sexism?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty. "

That's what it comes down to. If you can simplify it down; you want sex and he's the cheating toerag! He's the one who should be guilty. If you can separate the act from his situation then fine.

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

And yet you freely swap partners; tell me, what is the difference? I don't see how you can be so judgmental when you're swapping partners and condoning threesomes; it's no different!

ooooooh..... me me me.... I know the answer to this one....

its called "consent".......

the fact that the other person isn't lying and is involved.....

okay... one for the OP... lets play devils advocate....

put yourself in the role of the "other woman"..... how would you feel if you had what you are considering doing done to you and you had no idea it was going on so that they had blantanly lied?

genuinely interested........

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 16/07/14 11:17:23]

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

I do wish the marrieds and playing away, and the people who will play with them would just get on with it....

the justifications, the bleatings how unfair it is, stop being judgemental, and the grandstanding of their affairs is sickening at times.

just shag him or her and blank the pain of the innocent out of your mind.

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I've had many encounters with married and attached men.

I like them better because they don't form an attachment to you and bombard you all the time with messages and are quite happy to leave you alone after.

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Only once I have I had a repercussion from it and I just denied all knowledge of the person

At the end of the day it's not me that's cheating so why should I feel guilty. "

so the weasels way out.... when in doubt lie further and deny all knowledge..

compound all the deceit... blame him... all his fault the nasty pasty!!!

Oh but i just "happened" to land on his cock.... its was all some frightful error!!!

if you go into something knowing they are married and playing away then I believe you are as complicit in what happens next as they person doing it is....

if you are big enough to get involved knowingly, then you should be big enough to deal with the consequences, and big enough to hold up your hands if you get caught....

sympathy for getting caught.... different question... none from me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, difference being... the spouses are there and joining in. A couple entering into something TOGETHER is a completely different scenario to one doing behind the others back.

Having had it done to me in the past I am judging both of you. There are plenty of men on this site who are not married. Like someone else said, if you knowingly enter into something with a married man, it makes you just as bad as him.

Would you do it with a friends husband? Or is it only okay to potentially devastate someone you don't know?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I also feel much naughtier knowing that at that moment they've chosen to see me rather than be with their wife/girlfriend.

Wow

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The elicit thought of it all is all so exciting though...

I prefer to stick to having sex with men who (say they) are single.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If your getting what you want out of it why not!!!! Go for it!!!! As long as you know exactly where you stand and are not fooled into the false pretence of a relationship at the end of it then your all good!!!!

But if you are the type to get attached I would steer well well well clear!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, difference being... the spouses are there and joining in. A couple entering into something TOGETHER is a completely different scenario to one doing behind the others back.

Would you do it with a friends husband? Or is it only okay to potentially devastate someone you don't know?

Absolutely harsh as!!!! Men and women are on here all doing it just the ones that are truthful with it are worth it, half the partners know it's happening too!!!! It's the ones that lie about it they are the wrongens!!!!!

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

" half the partners know it's happening too!!!! It's the ones that lie about it they are the wrongens!!!!!"

cool, that's okay then.... fill your boots everyone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It would just be great to know if someone is in a relationship then you have a choice to meet them, so many lie about it and you end up feeling shit for baby reasons I'd say its perfect if both are married and looking for extras

So If you want a unreliable get the clothes back on as soon as the itch has been scratched type, have possible women phoning you up, feel shit about getting used like that then go ahead might be good sex on the occasional meet, might meet someone that might shout out what the fuck am I doing here as he has a major guilty moment or not but a face that says that, might even get the phone ringing non stop and he might start getting into a panic! might get him worried about parking his car near as people he knows lives close by your place.

At the end of the day it's a weasel a cheating decietfull bugger yes it's a big judgement but to me it's all true