FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Kiss of death
Kiss of death
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Us: You guys sound fun! Here's us (face pics)
Them: Thanks. You sound fun (no pics)
Us: We like to cam or meet socially first. Is that ok?
Them: Ok (no pics)
Us: Great! We can accom or play in a club. Would it be ok to see your face pics?
Them: (Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Or just delete our message.)
We've tried this tack several times with couples and single ladies and the result is always the same. Are we being too forward? Is it asking for a social first or face pics that puts people off? How would you handle this?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Out of curiosity why is it always assumed only men make fake profiles?  "
I don't think that's the case at all - there are just as many couple/single female fake profiles |
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"Out of curiosity why is it always assumed only men make fake profiles? "
often it's because they're bi-sexual and not open about it so they pretend to be women to get guys and couples to flirt and talk dirty with them. Women don't need to do that so it's usually assumed that guys are the one behind fake profiles  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Out of curiosity why is it always assumed only men make fake profiles?
often it's because they're bi-sexual and not open about it so they pretend to be women to get guys and couples to flirt and talk dirty with them. Women don't need to do that so it's usually assumed that guys are the one behind fake profiles "
You've actually sat down and thought about this |
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"Out of curiosity why is it always assumed only men make fake profiles?
often it's because they're bi-sexual and not open about it so they pretend to be women to get guys and couples to flirt and talk dirty with them. Women don't need to do that so it's usually assumed that guys are the one behind fake profiles
You've actually sat down and thought about this "
I might have been standing up, I do my best thinking standing up  |
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"Out of curiosity why is it always assumed only men make fake profiles?
often it's because they're bi-sexual and not open about it so they pretend to be women to get guys and couples to flirt and talk dirty with them. Women don't need to do that so it's usually assumed that guys are the one behind fake profiles
You've actually sat down and thought about this "
oh and p.s. I just looked at your profile, that most definitely wasn't any sort of dig at you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Out of curiosity why is it always assumed only men make fake profiles?
often it's because they're bi-sexual and not open about it so they pretend to be women to get guys and couples to flirt and talk dirty with them. Women don't need to do that so it's usually assumed that guys are the one behind fake profiles
You've actually sat down and thought about this
I might have been standing up, I do my best thinking standing up "
I try not too think, it hurts |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Guess we never really know as we can't catch the fakes out - they just vanish.
Anyway, sounds like we're not being too forward asking for a face pic? We don't want to meet a couple if we don't know what the male looks like. Usually lots of pics of the lady but none of the man. Hmmmmm, maybe that's a giveaway lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Out of curiosity why is it always assumed only men make fake profiles?
often it's because they're bi-sexual and not open about it so they pretend to be women to get guys and couples to flirt and talk dirty with them. Women don't need to do that so it's usually assumed that guys are the one behind fake profiles
You've actually sat down and thought about this
oh and p.s. I just looked at your profile, that most definitely wasn't any sort of dig at you "
haha brilliant, don't worry I didn't think it was, although it is like marmite! |
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"Out of curiosity why is it always assumed only men make fake profiles?
often it's because they're bi-sexual and not open about it so they pretend to be women to get guys and couples to flirt and talk dirty with them. Women don't need to do that so it's usually assumed that guys are the one behind fake profiles
You've actually sat down and thought about this
I might have been standing up, I do my best thinking standing up
I try not too think, it hurts"
Then I would suggest that you are doing it wrong, try taking two paracetamol with a glass of water before thinking commences  |
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"Guess we never really know as we can't catch the fakes out - they just vanish.
Anyway, sounds like we're not being too forward asking for a face pic? We don't want to meet a couple if we don't know what the male looks like. Usually lots of pics of the lady but none of the man. Hmmmmm, maybe that's a giveaway lol"
Annoying isn't it. Sometimes we get a really nice message from a couple but no pictures of the man at all...do they think I enjoy blind dates? Often they will send one as soon as we ask but now and again they hesitate or send a very blurred one that's when we end communications, in our experience it means one of two things he isn't interested and is just doing it for her or he just wants to watch me and her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know some people on here don't agree with what I am about to say but lets be honest here..
We all have different wants and tastes.. One persons gorgeous is another persons o.k. so we always want to see face shots to see if we are attracted to them, if not we send a polite return mail.. Simple..
What's the point in beating around the bush? We are all here for the same reason right?
Mrs x |
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"I know some people on here don't agree with what I am about to say but lets be honest here..
We all have different wants and tastes.. One persons gorgeous is another persons o.k. so we always want to see face shots to see if we are attracted to them, if not we send a polite return mail.. Simple..
What's the point in beating around the bush? We are all here for the same reason right?
Mrs x"
I agree with every thing except that we are all here for the same reason. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That has been verbatim most of the conversations we've had on here and other sites! So frustrating. The worst bit is if you're not forthcoming with pics and rather than understanding they rip your head off :/ |
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"I know some people on here don't agree with what I am about to say but lets be honest here..
We all have different wants and tastes.. One persons gorgeous is another persons o.k. so we always want to see face shots to see if we are attracted to them, if not we send a polite return mail.. Simple..
What's the point in beating around the bush? We are all here for the same reason right?
Totally agree with this, we're not shallow but we like to see face pics of whom we may be about to meet, they don't have to be gorgeous for us to meet them as we both know that personality is far more important but we like to get a look before we make any decision . Blondie x
Mrs x"
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Some people are so touchy.
Just because you like giving face pics doesn't mean everyone does..
Just because you wanted to meet by cam or socially doesn't mean everyone does.
We are all different and run at different speeds.
Seems a bit pushy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had something similar other night someone was
' oooh you ok for a meet in a few hours'
I was like 'yup'
they ask for face pic then go 'so a few hours yea ??'
I go 'ok but can I see your pic ?'
Disappears hmmm dodgy !!!
Their loss is my only option as an outcome :P |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sextoysareus - glad you've said what other people may have thought but not said. What's the right way to approach this? What we don't want is to message for ages then find there's no attraction there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive had it too. Couple messaged and asked for face pic so i sent one then they said lets meet. I asked for pics and never heard back.
why would a fake couple who is actually a male do this? They know it wont go anywhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sextoysareus - glad you've said what other people may have thought but not said. What's the right way to approach this? What we don't want is to message for ages then find there's no attraction there"
Totally agree with this comment. People may like to think they aren't shallow enough to think this is so but there HAS to be an attraction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive had it too. Couple messaged and asked for face pic so i sent one then they said lets meet. I asked for pics and never heard back.
why would a fake couple who is actually a male do this? They know it wont go anywhere. "
Because that is how they get their kicks and they know they can just move on to next person/ couple and nothing will be done if reported |
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By *7JayMan
over a year ago
Methil/edinburgh |
Stick to how your doing it, its not pushy and at least gives both sides a chance to see if there's an attraction.
I know that some dont like to show face pics for certain reasons and some dont like going on cam but all they have to say is they cant. Going silent like that just shows they are fakes and timewasters. The social meet is a good way to see if theres a connection without getting intimate so keep at it. This is what I ask as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I think the approach is too direct. I like to have a little chat first before I even think about a meeting - social or otherwise. If we are not going to get on nothing will happen. Nothing to do with being fake. The approach you are suggesting to me just seems like wam bam I want to meet you now. You are not really getting to know the person. If every message I got was like this I would never meet. Saying that every person you message is fake is ridiculous. Some maybe but not all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guess we never really know as we can't catch the fakes out - they just vanish.
Anyway, sounds like we're not being too forward asking for a face pic? We don't want to meet a couple if we don't know what the male looks like. Usually lots of pics of the lady but none of the man. Hmmmmm, maybe that's a giveaway lol"
Sometimes yes that is the case as people are more drawn to pictures of women than men |
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By *ohjaneCouple
over a year ago
south staffs |
"Personally I think the approach is too direct. I like to have a little chat first before I even think about a meeting - social or otherwise. If we are not going to get on nothing will happen. Nothing to do with being fake. The approach you are suggesting to me just seems like wam bam I want to meet you now. You are not really getting to know the person. If every message I got was like this I would never meet. Saying that every person you message is fake is ridiculous. Some maybe but not all. "
What is the point of "getting to know" if you then don't like the look of the person(s). I like to get to know a person(s) but AFTER the face picture exchange.
Jane x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont like people sending face pics with first message then expecting one back
If i want a face pic i will ask but will also say no thanks if i dont like the look of profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont like people sending face pics with first message then expecting one back
If i want a face pic i will ask but will also say no thanks if i dont like the look of profile"
totally agree! i think let the chat flow for a while and see how it goes! normally u can tell f rom that if u interested! t hen mayve ask for face pic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No it isn't, I like to see who I am talking to first, too many times I have chatted for a while, they have then sent a face picture and I have not liked them, total waste of my time and theirs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No it isn't, I like to see who I am talking to first, too many times I have chatted for a while, they have then sent a face picture and I have not liked them, total waste of my time and theirs"
thats the other s ide of it too! no point t ime wasting here!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I think the approach is too direct. I like to have a little chat first before I even think about a meeting - social or otherwise. If we are not going to get on nothing will happen. Nothing to do with being fake. The approach you are suggesting to me just seems like wam bam I want to meet you now. You are not really getting to know the person. If every message I got was like this I would never meet. Saying that every person you message is fake is ridiculous. Some maybe but not all.
What is the point of "getting to know" if you then don't like the look of the person(s). I like to get to know a person(s) but AFTER the face picture exchange.
Jane x"
Great that works for you. You keep doing it! It's not working for the OP. They asked for opinion on their approach which I find too direct. It's up to them if they keep doing the same thing. Getting the same result. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like to see who im talking to first and would always send a face pic back.. If i dont find someone attractive no matter how much we got on i would not meet.. i know that sounds shallow but i think sexual attraction is very important... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No it isn't, I like to see who I am talking to first, too many times I have chatted for a while, they have then sent a face picture and I have not liked them, total waste of my time and theirs"
Spot on - absolutely no point whatsoever in engaging in any conversation at all if there is no attraction .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No it isn't, I like to see who I am talking to first, too many times I have chatted for a while, they have then sent a face picture and I have not liked them, total waste of my time and theirs"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always ask for face pics. We don't just fuck anyone there has to be a sexual attraction and would rather establish that someone's are type straight away rather than liking there personality but them be butt ugly. Yeah that sounds shallow but I think as a couple you can afford to be picky. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I think the approach is too direct. I like to have a little chat first before I even think about a meeting - social or otherwise. If we are not going to get on nothing will happen. Nothing to do with being fake. The approach you are suggesting to me just seems like wam bam I want to meet you now. You are not really getting to know the person. If every message I got was like this I would never meet. Saying that every person you message is fake is ridiculous. Some maybe but not all.
What is the point of "getting to know" if you then don't like the look of the person(s). I like to get to know a person(s) but AFTER the face picture exchange.
Jane x
Great that works for you. You keep doing it! It's not working for the OP. They asked for opinion on their approach which I find too direct. It's up to them if they keep doing the same thing. Getting the same result."
I'm however the same and personally if they won't or don't send a face picture, I just stop talking to them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Us: You guys sound fun! Here's us (face pics)
Them: Thanks. You sound fun (no pics)
Us: We like to cam or meet socially first. Is that ok?
Them: Ok (no pics)
Us: Great! We can accom or play in a club. Would it be ok to see your face pics?
Them: (Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Or just delete our message.)
We've tried this tack several times with couples and single ladies and the result is always the same. Are we being too forward? Is it asking for a social first or face pics that puts people off? How would you handle this?
"
I do this. It mostly works but sometimes I receive either no pic or a cock pic. unless i like the profile, I ask again for a face pic if none sent then I give up
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By *7JayMan
over a year ago
Methil/edinburgh |
As we have seen so far, most people have their own preferred way of doing it.
From my time on here, some want the face pic and state it on their profile or they wont reply, and others after chatting for x amount of time will like to see a pic or see you or both of you on cam before doing anything. Others who prefer a quick last min meet might not bother with too much chit chat or pics etc though i would say that doing this will run the risk of time wasters.
I would suggest though, ask if the people would like to exchange face pics rather than coming straight out with it after chatting enough to see if they sound like your type, by this time it wont sound too forward or pushy. Then if they say they cant, ask if they are willing to go on cam even for a few mins then at least you will be able to see them. If again nothing then at that point it might be time to stop and move on. For me, if theres no interest in even a face pic, or a 30 sec cam or a social meet to prove everyones genuine or see if theres a connection before fun then whats the point. Ive tried a few times without these and on every occasion, it never turned out good, and being let down.
As a few have said, that sexual connection has to be there or whats the point in having fun lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"many of the men who contact us send a face picture with their first message. We will send them if there is a real possibility of meeting but only then."
I agree with the above. I don't send a face pic out unless i actually think there's a chance of us meeting for a face to face social. I like to chat a little, strike up a rapport. I'm not in any rush. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I fully understand the need to see a picture before a meet but I also understand that if someone is in a proffession such as nursing/medical, police or teaching they may have a valid reason for not being able to supply one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I fully understand the need to see a picture before a meet but I also understand that if someone is in a proffession such as nursing/medical, police or teaching they may have a valid reason for not being able to supply one."
But what happens when they meet? They will be seen then. Or Will they wear a mask? If you are going to meet its fair to swap pics. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And the old faithful excuse for the op problem and world hunger and England going out of the world cup early and wars in the world? The only feasible result must be single men! Ffs, sorry but not all problems on here are down to single men. Maybe just maybe they didn't like your pics. As others have said needs to be a physical attraction and they may not have liked you. |
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"I fully understand the need to see a picture before a meet but I also understand that if someone is in a proffession such as nursing/medical, police or teaching they may have a valid reason for not being able to supply one."
I don't know how you'd recognise someone who couldn't provide a face picture though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm always very wary of anyone who sends a face pic with a first message -
- just screams to me that they either have no discretion or are desperate... sorry!
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm always very wary of anyone who sends a face pic with a first message -
- just screams to me that they either have no discretion or are desperate... sorry!
"
Really??? I think its only polite to know who your talking to. Why is it any different to sending one at a later stage, if you want to meet you have to send one at some point, no point dragging it out only to not like what you see. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I fully understand the need to see a picture before a meet but I also understand that if someone is in a proffession such as nursing/medical, police or teaching they may have a valid reason for not being able to supply one.
But what happens when they meet? They will be seen then. Or Will they wear a mask? If you are going to meet its fair to swap pics. "
No they didnt. They said to me they would not send pictures and risk losing proffesions they had spent years training for in pursuit of a bit of fun.
I accepted their reasons and met and did not regret it.
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"Us: You guys sound fun! Here's us (face pics)
Them: Thanks. You sound fun (no pics)
Us: We like to cam or meet socially first. Is that ok?
Them: Ok (no pics)
Us: Great! We can accom or play in a club. Would it be ok to see your face pics?
Them: (Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Or just delete our message.)
We've tried this tack several times with couples and single ladies and the result is always the same. Are we being too forward? Is it asking for a social first or face pics that puts people off? How would you handle this?
"
It's the way it tends to go on here most of the time. I struggle to make contact then when I eventually get a reply from someone it seldom goes beyond three or four messages similar to the OP's. I just accept it now and give it a week or two before looking at the new profiles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I fully understand the need to see a picture before a meet but I also understand that if someone is in a proffession such as nursing/medical, police or teaching they may have a valid reason for not being able to supply one."
Sorry but I don't agree with a profession being an excuse not to have a face picture and there are quite a few that feel the same. As it stands, there is no way I would meet someone without a face picture and those I have chatted to without one seem to think they are the most stunning person on this planet and even though they don't know me, seem to think I will fancy them |
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"Us: You guys sound fun! Here's us (face pics)
Them: Thanks. You sound fun (no pics)
Us: We like to cam or meet socially first. Is that ok?
Them: Ok (no pics)
Us: Great! We can accom or play in a club. Would it be ok to see your face pics?
Them: (Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Or just delete our message.)
We've tried this tack several times with couples and single ladies and the result is always the same. Are we being too forward? Is it asking for a social first or face pics that puts people off? How would you handle this?
"
Personally we prefer to swap a couple of messages first and then ask if they want to swap face pics. Don't like when people out of the blue randomly send face pics and expect the return.
However if we agree to swapping face pics we will send ours even if we were not that interested in meeting after seeing yours, that is only fair. |
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"I'm always very wary of anyone who sends a face pic with a first message -
- just screams to me that they either have no discretion or are desperate... sorry!
"
I think it is more to put pressure on you to return, even though you never agreed to swap pics, may have no interest in ever meeting them. |
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I generally send a face pic with a first message because for most on here its what they look at first. I see no point in conversing with someone you do not find attractive and though one simple photo is not a real guide to how people look in real life it does give a few clues. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I generally send a face pic with a first message because for most on here its what they look at first. I see no point in conversing with someone you do not find attractive and though one simple photo is not a real guide to how people look in real life it does give a few clues. "
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"I generally send a face pic with a first message because for most on here its what they look at first. I see no point in conversing with someone you do not find attractive and though one simple photo is not a real guide to how people look in real life it does give a few clues. "
What single guys do or what some expect them to do is different to couples or even single females. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The professional thing is ridiculous yes it's frowned upon but you can't lose your job or pin for being on a sex site you would only lose it if you were in your uniform and stating that you were in that profession all over your profile. Both of us are in public professions |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think there are one or two people who have been hauled thru the media that might dispute that.
For instance doctor on a sex site, or a school teacher.
Newspapers have ended a few careers over the years. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The professional thing is ridiculous yes it's frowned upon but you can't lose your job or pin for being on a sex site you would only lose it if you were in your uniform and stating that you were in that profession all over your profile. Both of us are in public professions "
No some people would lose their jobs. Dependent on job and contract. |
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