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Not able to accommodate
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So, on my profile it says 'cannot accommodate'- it does not matter why I put that in, that is just my preference.
If you were to arrange to meet me, hypothetically speaking, would you expect me to take you home? Would you be trying to persuade me it was ok because you were 'nice'? |
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"So, on my profile it says 'cannot accommodate'- it does not matter why I put that in, that is just my preference.
If you were to arrange to meet me, hypothetically speaking, would you expect me to take you home? Would you be trying to persuade me it was ok because you were 'nice'?"
No - because you don't accommodate.
Next.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you are just meeting them for a quick knee-tremble then surely your home is the last place you want the cock-meat (tm) to visit?
Might turn out to be a nutter etc
Premier Inn are used to nutters * so no drama methinks
* other budget hotels are available (but not as good) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, on my profile it says 'cannot accommodate'- it does not matter why I put that in, that is just my preference.
If you were to arrange to meet me, hypothetically speaking, would you expect me to take you home? Would you be trying to persuade me it was ok because you were 'nice'?"
People do what they want they don't have to explain however you will get people who will assume the reasons for not doing so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its quite simply your choice whether you choose to accommodate or not, if people wish to jump to the wrong conclusions then so be it.
Do whatever you feel comfortable doing and enjoy yourself, your not here for other peoples justification  |
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"So, on my profile it says 'cannot accommodate'- it does not matter why I put that in, that is just my preference.
If you were to arrange to meet me, hypothetically speaking, would you expect me to take you home? Would you be trying to persuade me it was ok because you were 'nice'?"
maybe give a reason why you cant. Thats always said to the guys. I have on mine that I can but gor an experiment changed it to I cant. My messages dropped lol.x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't and won't and will never change my mind. Stick to the reasons you can't accomodate.
A nutter will always claim to be nice. They won't admit to being a nutter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"would you expect me to take you home? "
No that's ok I know the way home 
First meet no way venue would be sorted before the meet, if a social became more then my place or hotel. 10th meet well we may discuss that around then  |
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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago
Retirement Village |
"So, on my profile it says 'cannot accommodate'- it does not matter why I put that in, that is just my preference.
If you were to arrange to meet me, hypothetically speaking, would you expect me to take you home? Would you be trying to persuade me it was ok because you were 'nice'?"
Would try to persuade you. Not for allowing me back to yours but to meet a new fwb  |
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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago
Retirement Village |
"I don't and won't and will never change my mind. Stick to the reasons you can't accomodate.
A nutter will always claim to be nice. They won't admit to being a nutter."
I'm a nutter, take me home please |
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I don't accommodate because I live alone and I'm not prepared to hand my home address out to randoms off the internet - no matter how nice they seem!
For the same reason I won't go to someone's home for a first meet, I always have a coffee meet in a busy cafe first. Then if I go to theirs I text their address and username to one of my friends along with an approximate time I'll be out. If she hasn't heard from me by that time she knows where to go with a baseball bat and the rottie (ahem) send the police.
Once I've got to know someone and feel comfortable then I may invite them to my home, but my friend still gets a text just in case.
I've heard too many horror stories as well as meeting a few very odd and intimidating people to be careless about my safety.
Men shouldn't think they're safe either, a good friend of mine got beaten up and his house burgled when his meet turned up with friends.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are the woman you have the power, you get to choose anything and everything about the meet"
Errr no I don't think so. That's not how it works at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, on my profile it says 'cannot accommodate'- it does not matter why I put that in, that is just my preference.
If you were to arrange to meet me, hypothetically speaking, would you expect me to take you home? Would you be trying to persuade me it was ok because you were 'nice'?"
No. Cos I'd respect your choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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whatever anyone states in their profile should be respected! the initial point of contact is usually the profile, so if someone tries to persuade you to bend your rules then they are being ignorant to your boundaries!!! especially 1 as simple as getting a hotel, its £40 so dump them for being cheapskates anyway   |
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"whatever anyone states in their profile should be respected! the initial point of contact is usually the profile, so if someone tries to persuade you to bend your rules then they are being ignorant to your boundaries!!! especially 1 as simple as getting a hotel, its £40 so dump them for being cheapskates anyway "
Exactly.
£20 each to be in a neutral place for the first play is not extortionate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't accomodate anyone on the first time meeting, is common sense. Women are much more vulnerable than men physically. For men though, I would hesitate to meet if they cant accomodate because it often means they are in a relationship n'est pas?  |
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"I wouldn't accomodate anyone on the first time meeting, is common sense. Women are much more vulnerable than men physically. For men though, I would hesitate to meet if they cant accomodate because it often means they are in a relationship n'est pas? "
I always ask very early on why they can't accommodate. I've had some great meets with people who live in house shares or with relatives and who have been turned down repeatedly because people assume they are married. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't accommodate as I have a family. My naughtyness is very different to the actual me....so that would be wierd. Plus hotels, outside (once you know the person enough to be secluded with them) are really fun and add to the excitement  x |
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"I don't accommodate as I have a family. My naughtyness is very different to the actual me....so that would be wierd. Plus hotels, outside (once you know the person enough to be secluded with them) are really fun and add to the excitement x"
And someone else gets to clear up, change the sheets and do the laundry! |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
Hang on, han gon.. so if am reading this right (the tone of the thread):
Women that can't/won't accomodate: their right and it should be respected.
Men that can't/won't accomodate: married
? |
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Your house, your life your choice; do as you wish; if people don't want to meet you because of it then there will be people who accept it and you can meet those who are more tolerant.
There are double standards on here when it comes to accommodating (what a surprise); a lady doesn't and its for her safety; a guy doesn't and he's married. Why people don't is up to them !
(I am not suggesting that you have double standards OP but some do). |
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"Hang on, han gon.. so if am reading this right (the tone of the thread):
Women that can't/won't accomodate: their right and it should be respected.
Men that can't/won't accomodate: married
?"
Not all of us said that, some of us ask. And I don't mind if anyone asks why I don't accommodate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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put your own take on it but.. theres a bigger chance in society of women having kids at home and also from a security point of view women can feel vunerable, just sayin like |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"Your house, your life your choice; do as you wish; if people don't want to meet you because of it then there will be people who accept it and you can meet those who are more tolerant.
There are double standards on here when it comes to accommodating (what a surprise); a lady doesn't and its for her safety; a guy doesn't and he's married. Why people don't is up to them !
(I am not suggesting that you have double standards OP but some do)."
My thoughts exactly! My partner and I accomodate (even for our separate meets), a guy she sees regularly comes to our as he lives with his uncle (and their family don't know he's on here). That's not cause he's married, but his family would like him to (very traditional "have you thought of our grand kids" pressure) |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"put your own take on it but.. theres a bigger chance in society of women having kids at home and also from a security point of view women can feel vunerable, just sayin like"
By numbers (assuming this to be true), if we assume 1 man to 10 women (single parents with kids at home) how does that then tilt the balance of 1 single woman to 100 single guys (assumed figures or profiles) on Fabs? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, on my profile it says 'cannot accommodate'- it does not matter why I put that in, that is just my preference.
If you were to arrange to meet me, hypothetically speaking, would you expect me to take you home? Would you be trying to persuade me it was ok because you were 'nice'?"
who's going to admit to being a pushy bugger on an open forum
your a single woman you get the same mail as me we already know most of the guys expect you to accommodate and will try and talk you into it even if they wouldn't admit it in public |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hang on, han gon.. so if am reading this right (the tone of the thread):
Women that can't/won't accomodate: their right and it should be respected.
Men that can't/won't accomodate: married
?"
There is a bit of a shit deal dealt to single men on this subject by certain people on this site who think that if you're a single man you must be able to accomodate no matter what. And like the misguided person above said, its perceived by some that women should have all the power and control over a meet, as they are such a rare commodity you must jump through all the hoops.
However, statistically on this site men that cannot accommodate are more often than not married/attached. And that's just down to the numbers of men compared to any other group. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mobile numbers can be changed easily but if they turn out to be a nutter, stalker or blackmailer an address is harder to change and once is too many times. Don't accomadate unless you really want to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"who's going to admit to being a pushy bugger on an open forum"
If I was on a non social meet then before we met the location should be sorted, be that our address or xyz hotel address. so pressure shouldn't ever happen. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your house, your life your choice; do as you wish; if people don't want to meet you because of it then there will be people who accept it and you can meet those who are more tolerant.
There are double standards on here when it comes to accommodating (what a surprise); a lady doesn't and its for her safety; a guy doesn't and he's married. Why people don't is up to them !
(I am not suggesting that you have double standards OP but some do)."
I would not expect a guy to take me home first time either. Not saying it has never happened - stating a preference is not the same as making an informed choice. Nor is it a 'hard and fast' rule for future meets, just the first one. I have changed my preference recently, having met people I would not want in my home - ever! |
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Some women I've met prefer to travel for meets, as they feel more comfortable not giving away their home address. Others feel more comfortable meeting on home territory. As one woman I met said: "At least I know the bed linen will be clean." |
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"So, on my profile it says 'cannot accommodate'- it does not matter why I put that in, that is just my preference.
If you were to arrange to meet me, hypothetically speaking, would you expect me to take you home? Would you be trying to persuade me it was ok because you were 'nice'?"
Just had similar...recently updated my profile, it says I can't accommodate, yet after exchanging just a couple of messages with a local guy he has invited himself around and said he assumed I would make an exception. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, on my profile it says 'cannot accommodate'- it does not matter why I put that in, that is just my preference.
If you were to arrange to meet me, hypothetically speaking, would you expect me to take you home? Would you be trying to persuade me it was ok because you were 'nice'?"
No but if we both clicked and wanted a meet, there's always a hotel half-way between if coming to ours wasn't an option |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
I normally invite round as I do accomodate, this way if the prospect can't travel then it opens up the option if she/they prefer if I came to them. Anything else would have to be negotiated.
What I don't get are the ones that can't/won't accomodate yet can't/won't travel either.. but more than happy to be taken to a club (for a meet) where they go off and play with others (Who they haven't arranged to meet), and then hope to be taken home afterwards (but not even walked to her door). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, on my profile it says 'cannot accommodate'- it does not matter why I put that in, that is just my preference.
If you were to arrange to meet me, hypothetically speaking, would you expect me to take you home? Would you be trying to persuade me it was ok because you were 'nice'?"
No I would not. It would be my place or a hotel - assuming you would want to play. Simples! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks. I have been teetering on the point of being persuaded otherwise but my instincts were to say no."
Stick to your guns. Also as you have done already trust your gut instincts. |
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