FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > single males & condoms
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" I personally hate the things and getting 'em on is a faff. Have you thought about putting one on them at the end of your bj. That is always far far more fun. " What if you don't give a BJ before having the penetration....I don't always give one up front, I work on a you do it 1st and I'll return the favour later rule. Also I have long fingernails so won't put them on for someone in case I tear it or scratch his cock. | |||
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"As long as you are firm with the rule then it shouldn't be a problem. I personally hate the things and getting 'em on is a faff. Have you thought about putting one on them at the end of your bj. That is always far far more fun. No risk of them trying to sneak an unfettered one in the back door when you arent looking either " They taste foul usually, even the flavoured ones. I don't like putting them on that way and I don't see why I should just to make it better for him. Frankly, if he wants to get his end away, he gloves up. It's that simple. It's a nuisance and it feels better without but it's the sensible, responsible thing to do and the sooner these men accept that, the better. As for there being no risk if the woman puts it on herself, by bj or otherwise, it's not unknown for men to remove them, or try to get away with removing them part way through. I've even heard of guys whipping them off just as they're about to cum to give the woman no time to realise or prevent them cumming inside her. It's not even as if by that stage it's going to affect how it feels much. I'm always nervous of doggy simply because it's easier for the man to "lose" the condom without me noticing. If I make it clear in advance that I want condoms used, and they agree to the meet knowing that, there should be no "forgetting" to bring any, ridiculous excuses or argument. It's disrespectful of the set limits and to me. | |||
"if they try that on the meet ends " Agreed. Respect my limits of fuck the hell off. Who's to say they won't ignore other limits, or the word "no" or "stop"? | |||
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"I did say at the ENDof the bj...not during or as part of. I wouldn't ask a lady to do that. A slow unrolling over a wettened cock......with a twinkle in the eye....is a whole different ball game. As for the tossers who try to remove them.....they should be outed on here. Named and shamed is the only way to stop that cuntish behaviour !!" Ah I see. I apologise for misunderstanding. I have, in the past rolled them on with my mouth but I don't much like it and no longer do it. | |||
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"Just read this. And we're actually surprised this happens. Something to think about in the future. " all you have to do is have a stash of condoms and job's done. Or, if you dont like their attitude towards unprotected sex - tell them to bugger off. It does happen quite a bit so I hear | |||
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"Hi x I'm not sure if this is a common issue but out of the singles males I have met (not necessarily those who I have verified) more than half have tried to slip their cock in minus protection. I am always clear on my position regarding safe sex. Yet it seems to be an accepted move to try to get away with not wearing a condom whilst my back is quite literally turned. The guys in question always seem astonished that it's a problem for me as I recoil from them from them and ask what the f@#k they think they're doing. Most genuinely don't think it's a problem. The range of excuses is astounding. Am I naive in thinking that if condom use is specified that guys will respect this or have I just been unlucky? Fortunately I am quite prepared to challenge them and quickly put a stop to all activities. But it does put a dampner on the meet, makes me feel like I'm constantly telling people off and makes me more cautious of meeting single males. Anyone else have this experience? X " That is not on at all .. Sleeve up at all times I believe .. | |||
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"if they try that on the meet ends Agreed. Respect my limits of fuck the hell off. Who's to say they won't ignore other limits, or the word "no" or "stop"?" im the same with my profile too. if they cant understand my profile and respect it, how would they be ona meet | |||
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"Hi x I'm not sure if this is a common issue but out of the singles males I have met (not necessarily those who I have verified) more than half have tried to slip their cock in minus protection. I am always clear on my position regarding safe sex. Yet it seems to be an accepted move to try to get away with not wearing a condom whilst my back is quite literally turned. The guys in question always seem astonished that it's a problem for me as I recoil from them from them and ask what the f@#k they think they're doing. Most genuinely don't think it's a problem. The range of excuses is astounding. Am I naive in thinking that if condom use is specified that guys will respect this or have I just been unlucky? Fortunately I am quite prepared to challenge them and quickly put a stop to all activities. But it does put a dampner on the meet, makes me feel like I'm constantly telling people off and makes me more cautious of meeting single males. Anyone else have this experience? X " agree with one of the previous when the lady asks if you have a condom.. Big turn on | |||
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"Such a shame so many single guys are giving us all a bad reputation, by being so stupid. I always put my own health and any sexual partners health above everything. In fact have I met couples on more than one occasion that asked me if I mind NOT using one! I made my excuses and left and I'd like to think plenty of other guys would do the same! so we are not all tarnished with the same brush" I'm with you on this. I have had women asked me not to use one. That's when the alarm bells start ringing for me and insist on using one. Can't be too safe in my eyes. | |||
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"Safety first and guys should respect 100% a lady's wish. Is it true ladies that you can tell the difference between a gloved cock and a bare one when its thrusting in you? (leaving aside the aftermeth/creampie)?" Bev is not here to reply, but she does tell me that ordinery condomsso dry her pussy for some reason, guys who use non latex condoms feel much better but she says she can feel the difference, obviously bareback is better but safe sex is better for health so she never allows anyone in bareback other than me, and I'dnever contemplate saex with a stranger without wearing a Condom. | |||
"Safety first and guys should respect 100% a lady's wish. Is it true ladies that you can tell the difference between a gloved cock and a bare one when its thrusting in you? (leaving aside the aftermeth/creampie)?" Well I can...I also find it annoying that men often don't bring their own and there is an expectation that I will have some. All types don't fit all guys equally well and I am not about to have a range in stock just in case. | |||
"sadly this is more common than it should be " had a guy do it to me.... | |||
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"Shocking behaviour.... Actually it's a big turn-on when you hear the question "Have you got a condom?"." I agree. It's the time when your being invited in When me and my wife used to have meets (off the site) she would usually tell the bloke he wears a condom otherwise he's paying for a child until they reach 16 haha that scares them into willingly wearing one | |||
"I don't have this problem as im quite happy to be fucked bareback just as happy as I am to be fucked safely. " It's good that you are honest, but don't you worry about the possible consequences? Also do you get checked after every meet for peace if mind? Interested to know more about how you monitor your sexual health as an open bare back player. | |||
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"Hi x I'm not sure if this is a common issue but out of the singles males I have met (not necessarily those who I have verified) more than half have tried to slip their cock in minus protection. I am always clear on my position regarding safe sex. Yet it seems to be an accepted move to try to get away with not wearing a condom whilst my back is quite literally turned. The guys in question always seem astonished that it's a problem for me as I recoil from them from them and ask what the f@#k they think they're doing. Most genuinely don't think it's a problem. The range of excuses is astounding. Am I naive in thinking that if condom use is specified that guys will respect this or have I just been unlucky? Fortunately I am quite prepared to challenge them and quickly put a stop to all activities. But it does put a dampner on the meet, makes me feel like I'm constantly telling people off and makes me more cautious of meeting single males. Anyone else have this experience? X " Women do it as well. I.e ..try and guide it in without protection despite wanting protection etc... | |||
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"Hi x I'm not sure if this is a common issue but out of the singles males I have met (not necessarily those who I have verified) more than half have tried to slip their cock in minus protection. I am always clear on my position regarding safe sex. Yet it seems to be an accepted move to try to get away with not wearing a condom whilst my back is quite literally turned. The guys in question always seem astonished that it's a problem for me as I recoil from them from them and ask what the f@#k they think they're doing. Most genuinely don't think it's a problem. The range of excuses is astounding. Am I naive in thinking that if condom use is specified that guys will respect this or have I just been unlucky? Fortunately I am quite prepared to challenge them and quickly put a stop to all activities. But it does put a dampner on the meet, makes me feel like I'm constantly telling people off and makes me more cautious of meeting single males. Anyone else have this experience? X " Its about getting carried away in the moment! Its always good to play safe!!! X | |||
"Strangley, my former FWB was on the round bed in Chams and I was kepping watch. EVERY guy who she let play with her respected my instructions to use a condom. Perhaps it because I was there?" Sadly that might be largely true (partly true?) We've seen places / events where with "no-one watching" everyone was decent and no-one tried to break the understanding that condoms were required. So maybe don't feel too disheartened. The club rule "This venue is entirely safe-sex with-condoms. Anyone wishing to bareback - arrange to meet elsewhere. Anyone trying to have sex bareback will be immediately ejected from the venue and permanently barred" is exactly about this point??? No "he said she said we said they said". If you play in that venue you can count on the condom staying in place and anyone trying to break the rule is straight out never to get another chance. We've started looking at venues with this rule because it has exactly this meaning. Anyone reckon the same? | |||
"Strangley, my former FWB was on the round bed in Chams and I was kepping watch. EVERY guy who she let play with her respected my instructions to use a condom. Perhaps it because I was there? Sadly that might be largely true (partly true?) We've seen places / events where with "no-one watching" everyone was decent and no-one tried to break the understanding that condoms were required. So maybe don't feel too disheartened. The club rule "This venue is entirely safe-sex with-condoms. Anyone wishing to bareback - arrange to meet elsewhere. Anyone trying to have sex bareback will be immediately ejected from the venue and permanently barred" is exactly about this point??? No "he said she said we said they said". If you play in that venue you can count on the condom staying in place and anyone trying to break the rule is straight out never to get another chance. We've started looking at venues with this rule because it has exactly this meaning. Anyone reckon the same?" Yes I do At The End Of The Day Its Just Common Sense But Haveing Read This Post Its Quite Worrying To See That There Are So Many That Do Such Crazy Things And Thou They Know The Risk Is There Are Still Willing To Play Russian Roulette With Anyone That Will Let Them With All The Health Warnings And Everything Else, Their To Ignorant/Selfish To Realise That Safety Is More Important Than Sex Itself... | |||
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"Why do some people always think carrying condoms is the guys responsibility? If you are going to have sex you should be prepared regardless if your male or female. I have arranged two meets with couples to be told at the last minute we only play bareback. No mention of it on the profile or discussing the meet. Some people like it bare and are sneaky about how they go about it." I NEVER leave it to the guy however, he then must suffer my choice of brand, shape etc - so many guys get floppy when you show them a condom I think they must not be used to using them. | |||
"Would always use a condom, no point in risking your health just cause it might feel better. I actually like using condoms, last a damn sight longer with them than without them, my last meet came 5 times before my once, so she went home with a big grin on her face, happy days " | |||
"Why do some people always think carrying condoms is the guys responsibility? If you are going to have sex you should be prepared regardless if your male or female." We're each responsible for our own sexual health...I'd never leave it to the guy to supply the condoms, although must admit I am a bit wary of those who turn up without unless they've checked with me beforehand that I have a supply as it can imply that their intentions were to go without. | |||
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"Why do some people always think carrying condoms is the guys responsibility? If you are going to have sex you should be prepared regardless if your male or female. We're each responsible for our own sexual health...I'd never leave it to the guy to supply the condoms, although must admit I am a bit wary of those who turn up without unless they've checked with me beforehand that I have a supply as it can imply that their intentions were to go without." | |||
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"Hi x Anyone else have this experience? X " Yes, all the time, guys constantly try it on. If I have to insist, it ruins the meet for me, men need to take responsibility themselves. I also wonder how many of those guys get tested! | |||
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"Hi x I'm not sure if this is a common issue but out of the singles males I have met (not necessarily those who I have verified) more than half have tried to slip their cock in minus protection. I am always clear on my position regarding safe sex. Yet it seems to be an accepted move to try to get away with not wearing a condom whilst my back is quite literally turned. The guys in question always seem astonished that it's a problem for me as I recoil from them from them and ask what the f@#k they think they're doing. Most genuinely don't think it's a problem. The range of excuses is astounding. Am I naive in thinking that if condom use is specified that guys will respect this or have I just been unlucky? Fortunately I am quite prepared to challenge them and quickly put a stop to all activities. But it does put a dampner on the meet, makes me feel like I'm constantly telling people off and makes me more cautious of meeting single males. Anyone else have this experience? X " I don't understand this behaviour. I would never dream of taking a risk on my health like this. | |||
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"Sadly it seems too common but there do seem to be lots of guys and a growing amount of women that dont seem to care which makes me ask the question is it worth it nowadays I love giving oral but if so many are taking risks I dont think its worth catching something " I agree, and it's a bit worrying that some have never visited a G.U.M. centre to have an annual check up (did I read on here that some didn't even know what one was?) Perhaps that's because they can't abstain from sexual contact for the 3 months before they can test for the real 'Biggy' no one wants to think about. That even more of a concern. But it only my opinion. | |||
"Hi x I'm not sure if this is a common issue but out of the singles males I have met (not necessarily those who I have verified) more than half have tried to slip their cock in minus protection. I am always clear on my position regarding safe sex. Yet it seems to be an accepted move to try to get away with not wearing a condom whilst my back is quite literally turned. The guys in question always seem astonished that it's a problem for me as I recoil from them from them and ask what the f@#k they think they're doing. Most genuinely don't think it's a problem. The range of excuses is astounding. Am I naive in thinking that if condom use is specified that guys will respect this or have I just been unlucky? Fortunately I am quite prepared to challenge them and quickly put a stop to all activities. But it does put a dampner on the meet, makes me feel like I'm constantly telling people off and makes me more cautious of meeting single males. Anyone else have this experience? X Women do it as well. I.e ..try and guide it in without protection despite wanting protection etc..." Agreed re above!! See my comment further up. And sorry but when women do it it's worse because they are all horny and sexy and trying to lull you in unprotected with the moment. | |||
"Hi x I'm not sure if this is a common issue but out of the singles males I have met (not necessarily those who I have verified) more than half have tried to slip their cock in minus protection. I am always clear on my position regarding safe sex. Yet it seems to be an accepted move to try to get away with not wearing a condom whilst my back is quite literally turned. The guys in question always seem astonished that it's a problem for me as I recoil from them from them and ask what the f@#k they think they're doing. Most genuinely don't think it's a problem. The range of excuses is astounding. Am I naive in thinking that if condom use is specified that guys will respect this or have I just been unlucky? Fortunately I am quite prepared to challenge them and quickly put a stop to all activities. But it does put a dampner on the meet, makes me feel like I'm constantly telling people off and makes me more cautious of meeting single males. Anyone else have this experience? X Women do it as well. I.e ..try and guide it in without protection despite wanting protection etc... Agreed re above!! See my comment further up. And sorry but when women do it it's worse because they are all horny and sexy and trying to lull you in unprotected with the moment. " I'm unsure of your logic there...it's worse when women do it? How is it worse, exactly? | |||
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"It's rape. The statutes and case law are quite clear on this point. Conditional consent, infringed, is not consent. Anyone who tried this with us would be treated as a rapist caught red handed should expect to be treated - poorly " | |||
"A guy at a club once tried to penetrate me uncovered. Luckily I had someone watching out for me and the guy soon got told to jog on." I've caught a certain chap in a club TWICE pulling out whilst taking someone from behind, and fast as lightning, as he put his cock back in, he whipped his condom off and held it in the palm of his hand. (In a way, I'm impressed at his dexterity!) When he finished, he pulled out, crouched over and making it look like he'd pulled it off as he was withdrawing. I KNOW what I saw, and he does too - the club, however, refused on both occasions to do anything about it, it was my word against his. He loves nice dark rooms, but I WILL catch him again, and I will probably get barred for what I will do to him, but he's a rapist, pure and simple - if consent for intercourse is conditional on him wearing a condom and he whips it off, the consent is no longer valid. Of course, that would probably be dependent on the woman stating nice and clearly, so there are no misunderstandings, that a condom is necessary or no sex - so say it, ladies, don't assume all men share the same standards as you. It also gives bystanders, like I was, the green light to step in and say something. Don't be afraid to kick up a fuss if you catch someone trying it on - until someone gets a proper talking to (or a trip to the cells), idiots will continue to try their luck - and get away with it, apparently. | |||
"It's something I've noticed a number if times too so it's not that unusual. Also the number of guys that turn up without condoms to a meet and use the "oh, well shall we just carry on without" the look of disappointment when I pull out my wide collection is a sight to behold and the "oh you have some" You also rarely see guys carrying them in a club. I think every one would admit sex is better without them but in the lifestyle we lead they are a necessary evil. I had one guy tell me it was a week to his payday and he couldn't afford them....I suggested popping into the GUM and pick some up for free and I never heard from him again. " At Blackpool Connections Condoms and lube are supplied free by the health authority, another swingers club get them free from the same place but they charge £1 each for a condom, not only ripping off swingers but Tax payers as well. Jenny. | |||
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"Always take my own...problem solved" As every man should | |||
"bareback with a stranger sounds horny as hell, BUT STUPID ALWAYS WEAR PROTECTION!" Stupid always wear protection???? | |||
"Tell them you have an inhospitable vaginal wall and they need to cover up. They will shit themselves and run a mile and you can laugh at them as you made it up. If they are prepared to go bb scare them stupid and you might wake them up to reality. Or say something like " I wouldn't do that if you want it to still be there in a week" " I've had them say to me 'but I'm clean' to which I usually ask if they're sure I am? I may have had clean results at the clinic but that's only a snap shot in time, and as careful as I am I could never give anyone a 100% guarantee... Too many assume condoms are safe, they aren't there just safer. | |||
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"Not just single men male from a couple tried it once." This has happened to us too. I always keep my hand on the cock right up to the point of entry and check throughout if doing doggy. C also watches too. | |||
"I do stop - don't let anyone get away with it x unfortunately no way of flagging this as an issue x " But do you stop play completely or let them carry on after they have bagged up? | |||
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"Another thing to watch out for in group play situations is a guy fucking one woman then withdrawing and trying to enter another without changing the condom. Some guys hear the message 'wear a condom' but forget it needs to be fresh one for every partner!" See this a couple of times now,, once the guy in question even said he only had the one. So he comes to a party with only one condom? Told him to shove off,, but turns out hed been bonking at least 2 of the girls... party over.. | |||
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"Ah don't you hate it you read an Op then their profile and find it quite interesting but only to see your just under their age range :p Ah well " Sorry chick | |||
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"^^ Ah, that would be a phone number, not a phone. I'm not a thief!" liar liar, pants on fire Her | |||