FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > we got rumbled
we got rumbled
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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so we always knew its a matter of time
eventualy someone we know had to recognise us
well this weekend it happend
a mail from a guy "didnt expect to find you on hear"
chatting for a bit we realise how we know him. its all fine he wont out us as after all he is playing behind his wifes back
which leads to a moral question
(we dont know his wife never met her so not a question this time)
if we did know her too should we tell her about him
or him about her if a wife was playing away
obviouslely it would mean outing yourself
so what do you all think of this fortunately hypothetical moral maze |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got rumbled in a malicious way last week onmy singles account and actually deleted it... Maybe a bit of a knee jerk reaction but was upset at the time.
I am always very wary of people I know outside of the scene x
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So simple to answer this one - don't say a word .
We have been doing good this for 3 years now , and many surprising folk have seen us ' in the scene' but as long as the fight club rules are applied it's all good  |
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Something I always remember " my business isn't your business. So unless you'r my thong, don't be up my arse" works both ways too... Nope would keep hush and what don't concern me I would keep out of |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What if that person just happened to be your ex who is now in a 'happy' relationship (on here behind his girlfriends back!) but royally fucked you over when you split up? Is revenge a dish best served cold?  |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
Keep shtum, none of your business what others get up to...I know several local guys on here who have single profiles but aren't single and I'm acquainted with some of the wives...I wouldn't dream of outing anyone for any reason  |
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Swinging is such a small world really, especially in a place like Stamford. It was one of the reasons why I left Stamford all those years ago. There's even a swinger in Great Casterton which is even smaller. I guess he's the only one in the village. And a lovely one in Oakham  |
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"so we always knew its a matter of time
eventualy someone we know had to recognise us
well this weekend it happend
a mail from a guy "didnt expect to find you on hear"
chatting for a bit we realise how we know him. its all fine he wont out us as after all he is playing behind his wifes back
which leads to a moral question
(we dont know his wife never met her so not a question this time)
if we did know her too should we tell her about him
or him about her if a wife was playing away
obviouslely it would mean outing yourself
so what do you all think of this fortunately hypothetical moral maze"
to hypothetically answer your hypothetical question I would keep quiet. There are a lot of partnerships in which one partner will maintain silence even though they know what's going on and having it out in the open means they have to deal with it before they're ready. I really, really hope I'm never in that situation though because if it was someone I knew well I wouldn't be able to face them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging is such a small world really, especially in a place like Stamford. It was one of the reasons why I left Stamford all those years ago. There's even a swinger in Great Casterton which is even smaller. I guess he's the only one in the village. And a lovely one in Oakham "
i'm in bourne! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What goes around comes around, so say nothing, keep out of other peoples business, do not take sides and do not caste an opinion.
Even if its revenge for pain received, to dish it out will reflect it back. Just imagine you were looking in a mirror .. Behave as you would want them to behave, lest you lower yourself to their level. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pardon the pun but tit fit tat and all parties end up on trouble ,,,
Keep out of it it could come back to haunt you ,,,
The bearer of bad news always ends up looking daft |
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I thought it was an unwritten rule in the swinging community that you don't "out" other people?
If someone is on here cheating on their other half, then the other half will find out eventually anyway by other means. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What goes around comes around, so say nothing, keep out of other peoples business, do not take sides and do not caste an opinion.
Even if its revenge for pain received, to dish it out will reflect it back. Just imagine you were looking in a mirror .. Behave as you would want them to behave, lest you lower yourself to their level. "
yes I know, which is why I haven't and probably won't say anything...but if I didn't beleive that karma would royally bite me on the backside for it, technically, it was dished out to me and I would be reflecting it back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so we always knew its a matter of time
eventualy someone we know had to recognise us
well this weekend it happend
a mail from a guy "didnt expect to find you on hear"
chatting for a bit we realise how we know him. its all fine he wont out us as after all he is playing behind his wifes back
which leads to a moral question
(we dont know his wife never met her so not a question this time)
if we did know her too should we tell her about him
or him about her if a wife was playing away
obviouslely it would mean outing yourself
so what do you all think of this fortunately hypothetical moral maze"
Why would you ? its not a moral maze at all the other persons life is their own why would you feel the need to interfere
Gimp |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How do you know he isn't playing with his wife's permission? "
He told us lol.
Though as we don't know her we had and have no intention of telling her. We were just curious to views and like the 1st rule of swing club. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Live and let live, you wouldn't know the full circumstances and you might ruin 2 lives, why be so spiteful. You have your secret life, I suspect, so does a large percentage of the worlds population, if not on here, with hookers, lovers, etc etc etc. people have the right to sort their own lives out. Interfering in relationships is serious, serious stuff in my book. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so we always knew its a matter of time
eventualy someone we know had to recognise us
well this weekend it happend
a mail from a guy "didnt expect to find you on hear"
chatting for a bit we realise how we know him. its all fine he wont out us as after all he is playing behind his wifes back
which leads to a moral question
(we dont know his wife never met her so not a question this time)
if we did know her too should we tell her about him
or him about her if a wife was playing away
obviouslely it would mean outing yourself
so what do you all think of this fortunately hypothetical moral maze"
what a question to ask on here. Its none of your business. The swinging lifestyle is mainly a covert activity and should remain that way. Respect others privacy. God i hate the moral police on here.
How would you feel if i knew you well and your family and work colleagues. How would you feel if i told them about you being here. Im assuming youd not be happy. So leave well alone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's a honourable code in swinger - your not responsible for others actions so just look after your selves and what every one else does is up to them! |
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Well someone in my work place has decided its his business to out my private life on here to everyone in work and I mean nearly all the way to the board. As you can imagine I am not a happy bunny but think my life must be so much more interesting than his own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's none of your business what anyone else does. If you don't like it stay away from him/her"
We use the phrase "let them dig their own graves...."
and then sit back and watch with bated anticipation...
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By *MandCWCouple
over a year ago
Swindon |
"So simple to answer this one - don't say a word .
We have been doing good this for 3 years now , and many surprising folk have seen us ' in the scene' but as long as the fight club rules are applied it's all good "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i'm in bourne!
We are half way between Stamford and Bourne.
I know that part of the world... Everyone knows everyone!"
Iv recognised a lot of local people, I'm not comfortable with meeting really local people because of this, it's a small town, iv no wish to be gossip fodder! X  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I spoke to guy on here not long ago, turns out he was the partner of a friend. It's not my place to dictate to people what they should and shouldn't do and not my place to out him to his girlfriend either. I just let him go about his business like everyone else. No need to be a part of effectively ruining someone's life, they'll manage it all on their own. |
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By *ay Dee BeeMan
over a year ago
INGATESTONE near Brentwood |
"What if that person just happened to be your ex who is now in a 'happy' relationship (on here behind his girlfriends back!) but royally fucked you over when you split up? Is revenge a dish best served cold? "
Evil cackle |
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"Well someone in my work place has decided its his business to out my private life on here to everyone in work and I mean nearly all the way to the board. As you can imagine I am not a happy bunny but think my life must be so much more interesting than his own."
How did that person find out you were on here?
I assume he/she must be on here aswel? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why do people insist on trying to ruin other people's lives ! People are here for a reason let them be and just get on with your life, your here there here. SO WHAT. Leave people be FFS |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the question i have to ask is, what the hell would it have to do with you?
would it impact on your life if another couple you were friendly with were being messed about by one or the other party?
unless its family, friends come and go (lets be honest, even family comes and goes) so unless it would have a big impact on how you would be living your lives (ie, if you go out together all the time, share meals, saturday evenings and so on) then leave well enough alone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people insist on trying to ruin other people's lives ! People are here for a reason let them be and just get on with your life, your here there here. SO WHAT. Leave people be FFS"
oh, and no one tries to ruin other peoples lives.
the other people are doing a pretty good job of that themselves.
he WILL get found out eventually |
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I just had it to. In front of a pub full. A fb i had told his twat of a mate all about me. He spotted it me in the pub then went on to shout his mouth off. I was with the ex trying to patch things up. Had to blaze it out by telling him if he didnt shut it id make him suck my strap on.lol. But now the ex is defo an ex.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just had it to. In front of a pub full. A fb i had told his twat of a mate all about me. He spotted it me in the pub then went on to shout his mouth off. I was with the ex trying to patch things up. Had to blaze it out by telling him if he didnt shut it id make him suck my strap on.lol. But now the ex is defo an ex. "
thats hardly someone recognising you though, more like you having sex with an arsehole, and i would hope, never doing so again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've recently been mailed by some one who recognised me and used my male name, used to work with me apparently.
I was a bit bothered at first, but I do have quite a few face pics so I suppose it was bound to happen eventually.
I don't really care now to be honest, in fact if anyone else recognises me come and say hello lol. |
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"so we always knew its a matter of time
eventualy someone we know had to recognise us
well this weekend it happend
a mail from a guy "didnt expect to find you on hear"
chatting for a bit we realise how we
know him. its all fine he wont out us as after all he is playing behind his wifes back
which leads to a moral question
(we dont know his wife never met her so not a question this time)
if we did know her too should we tell her about him
or him about her if a wife was playing away
obviouslely it would mean outing yourself
so what do you all think of this fortunately hypothetical moral maze"
Stamford is lovely,
We used to have great fun camping at Tallington lakes! |
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I presume he is and since my back tattoo was public and quite unique he would of recognised it. He then decided to make everyone aware of what i have done. I am considering popping in HR and making a grievence complaint on grounds that my private life is been used as a form of bullying and sexual harassment. This isnt the first time he has done this to work mates as there are some on here, we know who we are but we respect each others privacy and dont mention it in work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if that person just happened to be your ex who is now in a 'happy' relationship (on here behind his girlfriends back!) but royally fucked you over when you split up? Is revenge a dish best served cold? "
no leave it as water under the bridge rather than risk the karma of being vindictive :- tempting though..lol |
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