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Hotwife advice
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hello all, today is my first time posting on the forums, but I am looking for advice from any experienced hotwife / hotwife husbands. My wife and I have had a few goes at swinging and she has been with another guy with my consent before. Only ever for a quickie and I found that easy to handle. She has just come back from holiday where she met a guy she really fancied. She didn't do anything, however, she has asked to see him so she can. I am OK with that, but the logistics of the meeting (and I think her desire) is that it needs to be an overnight stay. As I am sure you all appreciate, the emotions that go with this are hugely complex; jealous and horny all at once; amongst other things. I don't really feel like there is any real threat or danger, and I know the sex after will be amazing. However, the build up and the night she is away will be almost unbearable. The negative emotions invariably takeover. My question therefore is, what advice do you have for dealing with this part of the lifestyle? Is there a framework through which to view things that make it easier? Much appreciated. D Time |
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I would never do an overnight stay. You need to put boundaries into place. How would she react if you said that you were meeting up with a lady and spending the whole night with her? Put the ball in her court |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have to do what feels right for you as a couple. I've only ever done an overnight stay once with a long term regular friend. For us we felt we needed to build up the relationship with the guy first. It had to feel right for us all to be comfortable with it. It's not something you should dive straight into, in my opinion. But whatever works for you as we all do things differently. communication between the 3 of you is vital. Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To me its like she is asking to have an affair with consent - I just cant understand this side of swinging. A meaningless fuck at a club without details exchanged fair enought but I could never do what is being suggested myself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We'd never do separate rooms let alone separate overnights, but that's us and only you and your wife can know what's right for you.
However, your profile and post suggests that you haven't had that much experience. If this is true, wouldn't you be better taking smaller steps on your erotic journey rather than the massive leap you're proposing? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me its like she is asking to have an affair with consent - I just cant understand this side of swinging. A meaningless fuck at a club without details exchanged fair enought but I could never do what is being suggested myself. "
I guess thats why they were asking advice from people that do this then?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our experience with swinging and relationships has taught us this ;
If it makes you uncomfortable then it's best not to do it. Once it's done you can't undo it and if that risks the stability of your relationship, in our eyes, it's not worth it.
Swinging is supposed to be fun. Push boundaries but not at the risk of trashing what you have. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Obviously im not a couple but I've been here long enough to know that you both need to be comfortable with this.
If you are going to be stressing the whole time she's away then where's the fun in that for you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Obviously im not a couple but I've been here long enough to know that you both need to be comfortable with this.
If you are going to be stressing the whole time she's away then where's the fun in that for you? "
Exactly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our experience with swinging and relationships has taught us this ;
If it makes you uncomfortable then it's best not to do it. Once it's done you can't undo it and if that risks the stability of your relationship, in our eyes, it's not worth it.
Swinging is supposed to be fun. Push boundaries but not at the risk of trashing what you have. "
Wise words |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry but it would be a no go for me, it smacks of her wanting a relationship with this guy not just a no strings fling for fun, in my opinion you should both sit down and discuss what this would mean to you both, be honest and discuss any worries that you may have and if she still wants to go ahead why not join her, good luck hope all works out ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My advice is similar to others. If you are both happy with it, go for it. If one or the other is having doubts...express them, talk it through.
I would have suggested inviting him to yours and you stay in the spare room or sofa, but I see you don't accommodate. Local hotel? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We'd never do separate rooms let alone separate overnights, but that's us and only you and your wife can know what's right for you.
However, your profile and post suggests that you haven't had that much experience. If this is true, wouldn't you be better taking smaller steps on your erotic journey rather than the massive leap you're proposing?"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our experience with swinging and relationships has taught us this ;
If it makes you uncomfortable then it's best not to do it. Once it's done you can't undo it and if that risks the stability of your relationship, in our eyes, it's not worth it.
Swinging is supposed to be fun. Push boundaries but not at the risk of trashing what you have. "
as a Wife who meets alone also i would never ever stay overnight without my husband ..logistics???if he wants to meet her...he gets a nearby Hotel and she comes Home afterwards.......simple. |
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By *aisy2012Couple
over a year ago
everywhere |
All good advice unless you're stepping out on the cuckold route. If that's the case the anxiety & nervousness & the " I wonder if he's a better fuck than me" is what it's all about.
If that's not it, give it a body swerve. |
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if your wife is choosing to cuckold you & you are willing get a chastity device , being locked for a time before her meet will help you focus on the fact that it is your wifes sexual pleasure is all that matters , you will want her to be pleasured by her lover more than anything knowing you cannot give her sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I thought that the whole point for couples was to do something that made both parties happy? To both be turned on by what was happening and at the end of the experience to look back on the event as fun ?
But you seem to be dreading the situation !
Everyone has given good advice if your not comfy with all that's going on don't go ahead or make the event something you both can enjoy?? |
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We have done this two or three times over the years,and it's been fine, but I had met the guys before hand, not so sure I would let my wife play with a guy I hadn't met,and would not let it be a great distance away |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cake.....and eat it are the words that spring to mind. Why don't you both go. Stay in a local hotel, she goes to meet him and then comes back to you. Problem solved!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why dont you invite the guy to your house? Then she can meet him for the night, but you get to still be in control, otherwise she may end up running off with him once emotions are attached. Staying overnight and sleeping with someone is quite a personal experience. Tread very carefully x but have fun with whatever your decision x x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our experience with swinging and relationships has taught us this ;
If it makes you uncomfortable then it's best not to do it. Once it's done you can't undo it and if that risks the stability of your relationship, in our eyes, it's not worth it.
Swinging is supposed to be fun. Push boundaries but not at the risk of trashing what you have. "
This!! 100% agree. My man has slight pangs of jealously from time to time and that from same room swapping, where as I love watching him pleasure someone, I enjoy hearing her moans and screams because I know he's causing them! Huge turn on for me, he can take it or leave it. We tried seperate a time or two, where he took me and waited in the hotel lobby, never wanted any details was just glad things went ok. As soon as it became too much an he voiced it, it ended, not that it happened alot anyway, but the point is one of us was uncomfortable... So we fixed what was causing it.
We've been together too long to let a conflict in our swinging lifestyle to ruin it. We will always put ourselves first and you should do the same.
If you really are so jealous that you don't even know how you will deal with an overnight, then tell her you don't mind her spending some hours with him but overnight is out because of the way it makes you feel.
Best of luck to ya |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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thats a big jump from a quickie to an overnight stay we wouldnt even do that after 10 years theres plenty of other males or bulls. it seems a bit weird why it has to be that one and a stay overnight think its a bit beyond being about your sex life as a couple and more about her just faffin off with another bloke in my opinion slow down a bit or you'll be well out your comfort zone and well into problems good luck x |
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By *yggeCouple
over a year ago
South Yorkshire |
This sounds likes its out of the parameters of swinging, playing etc but more into a real life relationship territory where generally there isn't ever room for 3 in the bed.... One goes...but which one.. Go with your gut feeling |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You be blunt. It sounds to me as though something has probably already happened between them on holiday and she wants to make things easier for her now she is home. This isn't swinging in my book. But hey I may be wrong!
John |
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So you let your wife go on holiday alone where I suspect she did more than fancy him otherwise how would she go from that to spending the whole night with him!...as others have said I think it's a step too far x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Without sounding like all of the above comments, which I totally agree with.....my concern is that for you to ask for advice you are feeling uncomfortably with some or all of what your wife has suggested.
You should never be put in that situation and it's certainly not swinging. It's asking for consent to exclude you.
I personally would never put my partner in that position and if I did feel I wanted to exclude him it adds a whole new dynamic and possibly and end to us.
I wish you all the best. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you all for your comments. Much appreciated. As suggested, we sat down and spoke about it in detail last night. The situation is this; I encouraged her to flirt with the guy via text when she got back from holiday. Obviously this has moved on to a suggested meet. Her view is that, at this point, he knows nothing other than that my wife is married. He doesn't know I helped her write the texts or indeed that I would be approving the meeting. She says that she refuses to sleep with him until she has told him all of this (fair enough) and that she needs to do that face to face with a drink to help subdue the embarrassment. Also fair enough. If she is drinking, it is easier to stay over. She also admitted that she wants the time to be able to stay and not be under pressure to leave. She admitted that she wants the experience of waking up in the night and fucking some more. I can understand that too. I would probably want to do the same if I was with someone new. Her view is that this is a one off event and she wants to make the best of it. She isn't confident enough in herself to just turn up, shag and leave. The conclusion was therefore that either she goes and stays over or does not go at all. She seems happy with either and agrees it is not worth risking if I am uncomfortable. However, I do want her to do it and have fun, I would just rather she would come back to me sooner so we can have part of the experience together. Interested to know from a hotwife what she thinks of my wife's position on this. It is, as many of you said, quite a roller-coaster! |
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your wife should have her night of pleasure with her lover , ask if she will have him txt you after they have enjoyed each other , telling you what they have done & how much she has enjoyed it & maybe a pic of your wife wet and smiling wanting more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting scenario here. You've got a mixed bag of replies, some encouraging you to do it, others not to, which is exactly how you feel about it. As you are the bloke asking for advice your Balls will be in control of your brain much of the time until you've released tension.
My suggestion is have sex with your wife and say rude things to her about this bloke and what he wants to do to her. See What her reaction is. After you have released the tension in your Libido temporarily have the same discussion and see if the magic is still there to do it.
Just an idea
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you all for your comments. Much appreciated. As suggested, we sat down and spoke about it in detail last night. The situation is this; I encouraged her to flirt with the guy via text when she got back from holiday. Obviously this has moved on to a suggested meet. Her view is that, at this point, he knows nothing other than that my wife is married. He doesn't know I helped her write the texts or indeed that I would be approving the meeting. She says that she refuses to sleep with him until she has told him all of this (fair enough) and that she needs to do that face to face with a drink to help subdue the embarrassment. Also fair enough. If she is drinking, it is easier to stay over. She also admitted that she wants the time to be able to stay and not be under pressure to leave. She admitted that she wants the experience of waking up in the night and fucking some more. I can understand that too. I would probably want to do the same if I was with someone new. Her view is that this is a one off event and she wants to make the best of it. She isn't confident enough in herself to just turn up, shag and leave. The conclusion was therefore that either she goes and stays over or does not go at all. She seems happy with either and agrees it is not worth risking if I am uncomfortable. However, I do want her to do it and have fun, I would just rather she would come back to me sooner so we can have part of the experience together. Interested to know from a hotwife what she thinks of my wife's position on this. It is, as many of you said, quite a roller-coaster!"
There are so many alarm bells ringing my ears hurt. I say don't do it, and stop all communications with the man. Good luck. Sasha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you all for your comments. Much appreciated. As suggested, we sat down and spoke about it in detail last night. The situation is this; I encouraged her to flirt with the guy via text when she got back from holiday. Obviously this has moved on to a suggested meet. Her view is that, at this point, he knows nothing other than that my wife is married. He doesn't know I helped her write the texts or indeed that I would be approving the meeting. She says that she refuses to sleep with him until she has told him all of this (fair enough) and that she needs to do that face to face with a drink to help subdue the embarrassment. Also fair enough. If she is drinking, it is easier to stay over. She also admitted that she wants the time to be able to stay and not be under pressure to leave. She admitted that she wants the experience of waking up in the night and fucking some more. I can understand that too. I would probably want to do the same if I was with someone new. Her view is that this is a one off event and she wants to make the best of it. She isn't confident enough in herself to just turn up, shag and leave. The conclusion was therefore that either she goes and stays over or does not go at all. She seems happy with either and agrees it is not worth risking if I am uncomfortable. However, I do want her to do it and have fun, I would just rather she would come back to me sooner so we can have part of the experience together. Interested to know from a hotwife what she thinks of my wife's position on this. It is, as many of you said, quite a roller-coaster!"
Again totally my opinion ...as a Wife who also plays alone.....the Huge turn on för my husband is the sex after my meet alone...knowing Iv just came from beig with someone else...knowing Im still wet from that...if she stay overnight...thats löst...ie...Having showered....i dont leave straight away?
Stay until she feels...right...i want the best bit now lol....cause beleive me...When i get Home from a meet...sex with my gagging husband is THE BEST BIT!!!.
Auds Xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am what you are describing as a "hotwife" and I would NEVER leave my husband overnight. That's not swinging, it's an affair! I agree with the earlier poster who suggests that she slept with him on holiday and now wants to continue. I would think that lots of talking may save your relationship, but the probability is that changes in your persoal state are in your future! |
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By *c-ukMan
over a year ago
Sevenoaks |
It sounds to me that you may have a fascination, desire to try cuckolding.. hence your reference to Hotwife!!
A good cuckold has no say in who his wife see's (within reason of course) and how long she see's him for..
I have always had no issues with women seeing other guys, for me its a massive turn on.. Maybe I have been born without the jealousy gene!! In my experience women that will see other guys and tell you all the details are not actually that common so in a lot of ways you are lucky to have such a lady.
The apprehension is that she will like him and not come back... once you get over the fact that she will and this is just friendship I suspect that you will want her to see him more...
As Dr Pepper said... whats the worst that can happen.. Let her have one night and see how you both feel
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a couple relatively new to the hot wife scene we can understand your concerns , BUT it's better to wonder what if , than regret . Sometimes the fantasy becomes all consuming and you can rush into something before actually realising what it can do to your relationship.
If your uncomfortable with it we'd recommend not doing it, is one night worth putting a strain on yourselves ? Or bringing up insecurities that could ruin the trust you guys have ?
Small steps are much better when delving into this lifestyle choice |
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"It sounds to me that you may have a fascination, desire to try cuckolding.. hence your reference to Hotwife!!
A good cuckold has no say in who his wife see's (within reason of course) and how long she see's him for..
I have always had no issues with women seeing other guys, for me its a massive turn on.. Maybe I have been born without the jealousy gene!! In my experience women that will see other guys and tell you all the details are not actually that common so in a lot of ways you are lucky to have such a lady.
indeed you are very lucky as am i to have a beautiful wife who men want to pleasure, you should be thankful your wife wants you to be her cuckold and you should learn to serve her as all cuckolds serve their wives
The apprehension is that she will like him and not come back... once you get over the fact that she will and this is just friendship I suspect that you will want her to see him more...
As Dr Pepper said... whats the worst that can happen.. Let her have one night and see how you both feel
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah I think they'll be fine. You are just going through all the delicious pangs that a cucked hubby goes through. Live with it or don't live with it.
I don't think Mrs N would even consider doing what you are so it will never happen for us, but We do cucky things in heat of moment and she finds it a great turn on. I think that's what my previous post was trying to say. Often in cold light of, post meet you might think why on earth did we do that but that is part of the fun, embrace it and deal with it in an adult way. Have fun and good luck whatever you decide to do. |
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with luck you may learn being kept as your wifes cuckold is so very special, the desire & longing you have for your wife will increase beyond measure while she is being pleasured by lovers & is in total control |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with most posts on this thread and it depends at what stage you are both happy with....it does sound like you are in the early stages of a hotwife / cuckold twist on your relationship. ..if that is the case then I am sure you will have a fantastic journey amd experience so much pleasure from all the different feelings that you will go through. ..if your wife is going on an overnight stay then I think the best way to enjoy it would be to refrain from orgasm for at least 4 weeks before the big night...your wife will tease you to maximum effect and give you your reward on her return from her special night with her lover....good luck and enjoy friend |
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"I agree with most posts on this thread and it depends at what stage you are both happy with....it does sound like you are in the early stages of a hotwife / cuckold twist on your relationship. ..if that is the case then I am sure you will have a fantastic journey amd experience so much pleasure from all the different feelings that you will go through. ..if your wife is going on an overnight stay then I think the best way to enjoy it would be to refrain from orgasm for at least 4 weeks before the big night...your wife will tease you to maximum effect and give you your reward on her return from her special night with her lover....good luck and enjoy friend "
locked in a chastity lock is best for at least 4 weeks before & your reward on your wifes return is to get down on all fours and pleasure her pussy as she sits on the sofa and tells you how much she enjoyed her lover, no release for you from your chastity untill your wife decides |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a male half that has recently been through this I understand a lot of what you are saying. I am in no way a cuck and in fact get quite turned off if a guy is overly confident and tries to put me down while having fun with my fiancee. I do however get turned on by her having fun and we both agreed separate overnights would be something we would like to try. Therefore I let her go ahead with it, the night for me was interesting. I was nervous and excited (even had a wank or two!), the main things were we put safe words in place so if she was ever uncomfortable I would go and get her immediately. I also text them both throughout the night and got some naughty pics to keep me in on it, without being overly intrusive. All in all it was a bit of a bag of emotions but for me the good outweighed the nervousness and I don't really get jealous so was all ok. Hasn't spoiled our relationship at all. Only thing I would say in your situation is be careful about the relationship they are forming as you wouldn't want it to turn in to anything more. Hope that helps, just my personal experience so take it or leave it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is a difference between hotwife and cuckold
An overnight stay sounds more cuckold with the humiliation that goes with that than just enjoying the idea of your wife having fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" There is a difference between hotwife and cuckold
An overnight stay sounds more cuckold with the humiliation that goes with that than just enjoying the idea of your wife having fun"
Yes the hotwife is the female and the cuckold is the husband..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Again, thanks for the continuing advice. It was worth asking; some practical points have helped. I am not into being cucked. I am not an aggressive person, but I am certainly not submissive either. I want and expect my wife to think I am the best lover she has ever had. A risk in the circumstance I guess, but she seems confident no one would ever come close. Certainly there could be no one better for me. I get off on her getting off. I always have. I think this is simply and extension of that. I also know she has not done anything with the guy whilst on holiday. She is an honest person and would have just told me. She told me she wanted to; that is how things moved to where they are now. We have taken two specific pieces of advice. First we had great sex talking about what she wanted to do and then, when our libido's were satisfied, talked about the situation again. That was a good call. What we decided is that she is going to go and stay. When she gets there she will tell him that I know everything. If he gets a kick out of that then she will try and send so pics and vids etc. If he finds it a bit weird, then she will text me updates on what she is doing and try to call and leave the phone off the hook so I can hear what is going on. This way, I feel involved. Someone in the forum suggested that too, so thanks again. If I hate it, then we will never do it again. She is happy to delete the guys number and block him Saturday morning if that is how I feel. On the plus side, we are going to Spice Lifestyle in Lanzerote a week later and so, assuming no disasters, we will have a great opportunity to get off on the high. We will see. Thanks once again for your kind support. She goes tomorrow evening so if any one is interested then I am happy to keep you updated as we go through the experience. D Time |
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By *onny BonesMan
over a year ago
a block away from heaven |
My opinion is that unless the other party is aware and engaging in the lifestyle (or willing to) then it is not a 'meet'. Not in the terms I would consider a swinging meet. Is the other guy aware that your wife is a swinger? Would you be able to go with her, staying where she is and possibly be part of the proceedings? It is two way and I hope that you will find a way where all parties are fully informed and happy with what is being offered? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So she wants to stay as long as she wants as its a one off and she wants to make the most of it .
You on the other hand would prefer her to come back sooner , as you wish to get off on the experience sooner rather than later .
But she can basically call the shots , and will have her way , as a fuck and go is not enough for her . And since she has already got to know the guy from the holiday , it's obvious they want to consummate the ongoing affair .
Which is precisely what is happening with your misguided blessing !
All I can say is I really hope this works out for you , and that you still have a relationship when this is done and dusted .
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for your concern. She went on holiday with the kids. I know she didn't do anything; we have too honest and open a relationship. Besides, I was writing texts with her to the guy after she came back. It was obvious from his responses that nothing happened but that he really fancied her. I think for her, the usual idea of swinging is difficult. She only really gets something out of sleeping with someone she fancies and that is not about looks for her. She has to get to know some one before there is any attraction. She has always been that way. I don't think for a second she is going to take the kids and move to Essex with a builder she met on holiday! I know her desire to stay is driven by the experience she wants, I would just rather she was rushing back to me! I realise that this is a hugely complex issue and not with any easy answers. I want her to do it as much as I don't. This process creates all sorts of internal conflicts. I think that is why I posted here so I could hear from those with similar experiences! Thanks D Time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does not passiveness come into this scenareo where her husband is concerned she pulls the strings and perhaps enjoys it thou they love one another but passive agressive could create big problems when he lets go for both partys. |
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"I don't think for a second she is going to take the kids and move to Essex with a builder she met on holiday! "
As long as she hasn't just got a vajazzle and a load of white stilletto's you should be ok.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dear D time,
I am speaking from personal experience as my wife is very, very deep into hotwife-ing...
She has been many, many times alone with guys overnight and once for a weekend. We are still together and we do keep enjoying it.
We are both happy if we can find partners that we really enjoy. The more she likes the guy the better. She has got some FB that are still in touch for fun if she wants to for a single meet or MMF (or more Ms).
I don't need to know that I am the best lover for her, just because I am not stupid and I know my limitations. I will be more than happy if she comes back home saying: 'That was the best sex ever!'
By the way, the jealousy is still there, but this is part of the whole fun. If gone completely I am afraid would mean I don't care about her anymore.
If you really love your wife, give her your blessings and she will love you even more after that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You heard the saying couples who play together stay together and its true. Apart you run the risk of her going off .. no matter how much you trust each other its a risk . I meet but john s around rear ever I go away alone . We only do what we are both happy with .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You get into meeting alone and 9 times out of 10 they are looking for more the single men and you can only give so much.... its not easy to have both and a happy family life . My kids know if others around and hate it so I will not have people here now its not fair on my family. I keep this well away from my family and its only now and again it do not take over my life my family do and they come first not swinging . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dear D time,
I am speaking from personal experience as my wife is very, very deep into hotwife-ing...
She has been many, many times alone with guys overnight and once for a weekend. We are still together and we do keep enjoying it.
We are both happy if we can find partners that we really enjoy. The more she likes the guy the better. She has got some FB that are still in touch for fun if she wants to for a single meet or MMF (or more Ms).
I don't need to know that I am the best lover for her, just because I am not stupid and I know my limitations. I will be more than happy if she comes back home saying: 'That was the best sex ever!'
By the way, the jealousy is still there, but this is part of the whole fun. If gone completely I am afraid would mean I don't care about her anymore.
If you really love your wife, give her your blessings and she will love you even more after that. "
this is pretty much how it is for me and my husband. ...I really should get him to post on here. It's always best to hear from the people that actually understand the dynamics of this type of relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dr jend said By the way, the jealousy is still there, but this is part of the whole fun. If gone completely I am afraid would mean I don't care about her anymore.
If you really love your wife, give her your blessings and she will love you even more after that .....
If I leave john in part of the house go of and play alone I feel so bad it kills the fun for me as I know he is jealous and I will not hurt him like that just for my own fun .. its selfish as he would never do it to me. Some wish wifes to play so they can play away too .. we don't as trust each other we have a fab life together . If john give me his blessing and really was not liking it ...... would split us up ........ we have been married over 25 years and happy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally, I think meeting a random person on holiday coming home telling you about it then asking if she can spend the night with him is a tad naughty.
You need to meet the guy too, build up trust and friendship, you need to get on with him, like him and again trust him,it's just as important for you as it is your wife.
You need to feel 100% happy with the situation, and if you were you wouldn't be posting this thread so you and your wife need to chat about this.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You run the risk of her liking whats on offer and wishing to have that 24/7 is it worth the risk her going off with out you. Just for a sex high ..... and to cross things off the wish list of things to do . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally, I think meeting a random person on holiday coming home telling you about it then asking if she can spend the night with him is a tad naughty.
You need to meet the guy too, build up trust and friendship, you need to get on with him, like him and again trust him,it's just as important for you as it is your wife.
You need to feel 100% happy with the situation, and if you were you wouldn't be posting this thread so you and your wife need to chat about this.
"
This if there is a shadow of doubt. Don't do it !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the usual idea of swinging is difficult. She only really gets something out of sleeping with someone she fancies and that is not about looks for her. She has to get to know some one before there is any attraction."
There are different kinds of swingers. Some seem to view it like a sport, others view it as a way to get casual sex. It seems to me that you guys are probably looking to make friends and see where things go from there...which is another perfectly valid approach imo.
So get out there, meet people, then meet them again, charm them, wine them and dine them. Just because you're looking to swing it doesn't mean that romance is dead. Then, as your wife starts to get into the idea of them sexually, just let things run their course. It's really like going on a double date...except the wiring is all loose and everyone's up for grabs...lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" There is a difference between hotwife and cuckold
An overnight stay sounds more cuckold with the humiliation that goes with that than just enjoying the idea of your wife having fun
Yes the hotwife is the female and the cuckold is the husband....."
there is a difference between a hotwife and a cuck wife |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" There is a difference between hotwife and cuckold
An overnight stay sounds more cuckold with the humiliation that goes with that than just enjoying the idea of your wife having fun
Yes the hotwife is the female and the cuckold is the husband.....there is a difference between a hotwife and a cuck wife "
yes a difference and both are woman who love sex with other men and 9/10 man looks on a do very little. |
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By *ce948Man
over a year ago
Darlington |
This is more than just a one off thing or whatever you want to call it.
They meet on holiday and im sure they did spend more time together where they had to know each other better which may have lead to something developing not just a one off thing.
Anywere im you grow up to know what you like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is more than just a one off thing or whatever you want to call it.
They meet on holiday and im sure they did spend more time together where they had to know each other better which may have lead to something developing not just a one off thing.
Anywere im you grow up to know what you like. "
yes they must have been spending time to know they wish more from each other , SORRY OP I don't have a good feeling about this and its your wife who you love . I have seen couples get torn apart from all this over the years . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi All, Thanks for the continued replies. Well she left for the meet this evening. I had a message to say she had arrived at the hotel about 20 past 7. I have heard nothing since. I guess my base position is quite fatalistic. Either she is just after a great night of sex and will come back to me on a massive high and we carry on where we left off, or she will actually decide she wants what this guy has to offer. I am not her keeper. I wouldn't want to deny her an experience for fear that she might chose him. If she does, she does. If I stopped her, she still would have wanted it and we would end up in the sane place, only at a slower pace. I am reserving judgment. Presently I am not enjoying the experience, but lets see if I get any communication from her. That is probably the test. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi All, Thanks for the continued replies. Well she left for the meet this evening. I had a message to say she had arrived at the hotel about 20 past 7. I have heard nothing since. I guess my base position is quite fatalistic. Either she is just after a great night of sex and will come back to me on a massive high and we carry on where we left off, or she will actually decide she wants what this guy has to offer. I am not her keeper. I wouldn't want to deny her an experience for fear that she might chose him. If she does, she does. If I stopped her, she still would have wanted it and we would end up in the sane place, only at a slower pace. I am reserving judgment. Presently I am not enjoying the experience, but lets see if I get any communication from her. That is probably the test. "
Well you sound like a lovely caring man and they are rear so she better look out as there maybe a woman here wish to do same thing with you and you both may love it . xx
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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well, I have had regular communication. They headed to the room about an hour ago. Just had a text that she had just cum from being licked out. That is kind of horny. Wish I was there though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well, I have had regular communication. They headed to the room about an hour ago. Just had a text that she had just cum from being licked out. That is kind of horny. Wish I was there though."
Sounds like its going to be a long horny night! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you let your wife go on holiday alone where I suspect she did more than fancy him otherwise how would she go from that to spending the whole night with him!...as others have said I think it's a step too far x"
My thoughts exactly! Holiday alone and did nothing??? But now wants to meet up straight away, far away, overnight! This isn't cuckold or hotwife its relationship suicide I feel in this scenario  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh wow. What turmoil you must be in. Take the advice of the more positive people on here and you'll be fine. It's part of the head fuck as some people call it. Enjoy it and do let us know how it's gone. We are gagging to know LOL.
"well, I have had regular communication. They headed to the room about an hour ago. Just had a text that she had just cum from being licked out. That is kind of horny. Wish I was there though."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... I am not her keeper. I wouldn't want to deny her an experience for fear that she might chose him. If she does, she does. If I stopped her, she still would have wanted it and we would end up in the sane place, only at a slower pace..."
Dear D Time,
You have my respect and I salute you. Very, very few man here have the courage and generosity to act like you!
I am sure your wife is going to appreciate it, but if she doesn't, she just doesn't deserve you!
Don't be afraid as other people here suggest - explore and enjoy it! The right relationship should be based on love and generosity, not on fear!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well, I have had regular communication. They headed to the room about an hour ago. Just had a text that she had just cum from being licked out. That is kind of horny. Wish I was there though."
You should be there .... swinging as a couple should be fun for both, You seeing her and loving it and not one at home left out .. I hope you do this to her and let her be at home and you call her saying I just made a woman cum .. lol Lets see how she feel and it would be how you are right now. Sorry but I feel the holiday may have been a lot more and your far to nice to see it . Don't be a doormat just because your in love, Us woman hate it ..well I do. I like strong men there for me and I am for them too. Its a two way thing this swinging and caring about the way others feel is a very big part.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well, I have had regular communication. They headed to the room about an hour ago. Just had a text that she had just cum from being licked out. That is kind of horny. Wish I was there though.You should be there .... swinging as a couple should be fun for both, You seeing her and loving it and not one at home left out .. I hope you do this to her and let her be at home and you call her saying I just made a woman cum .. lol Lets see how she feel and it would be how you are right now. Sorry but I feel the holiday may have been a lot more and your far to nice to see it . Don't be a doormat just because your in love, Us woman hate it ..well I do. I like strong men there for me and I am for them too. Its a two way thing this swinging and caring about the way others feel is a very big part."
Agree with you on this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... I am not her keeper. I wouldn't want to deny her an experience for fear that she might chose him. If she does, she does. If I stopped her, she still would have wanted it and we would end up in the sane place, only at a slower pace...
Dear D Time,
You have my respect and I salute you. Very, very few man here have the courage and generosity to act like you!
I am sure your wife is going to appreciate it, but if she doesn't, she just doesn't deserve you!
Don't be afraid as other people here suggest - explore and enjoy it! The right relationship should be based on love and generosity, not on fear!
"
The problem is though , the op is facing fear .
He has been brave enough to open his heart on here and the current silence is worrying .
Of course he is being generous and somewhat philosophical too ...but runs the risk of losing his wife to another .
Perhaps he would have done anyway even if he didn't agree to it , who knows ?
I just hope it works out for him and he doesn't live to regret it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You should really be there ... not just for your peace of mind but also to watch your hot wife having pleasure at the hands of another ... different type of lover .. l (male half ) get so much pleasure myself watching .. listening and if im invited taking part But we always do this together . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really hope this works out for you and your not being treated like a door mat. Remember we get treated in life how we allow other people to treat us.
All the best xxxx |
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My perception is that this is asking for an open relationship and an affair of some kind is in the works.
Sometimes the mental attraction is deemed stronger than the physical happened whilst they were together abroad.
Hope it works out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also I find this strange meeting a person on holiday and sorting out having sex when back ....... Had she meet him here in the uk and had this holiday knowing he was there .? sorry but all things would be coming into my mind. Woman can play all sorts of games to get there own way . Yes I know you wish to trust but you can run rings around a person whos blind and don't wish to see .. as in love and scared he may just lose if he don't . End of the day its your life your choice but you asked our views and this is my view on things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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D time is absolutely right about trusting his wife and this has got nothing to do with him being a doormat.
From personal experience: Many men are not comfortable with the presence of the husband and can not "perform" well at all. Could be many reasons for that...
When I notice something like that during FMM I just find an excuse to go out and to leave them alone so they can have proper fun together. I have been always told after that sex was great...
So why I should be on the way of my wife having proper fun? I enjoy watching her handling as many cocks as she can, but sometimes circumstances are different, so one should be flexible and generous.
This is exactly what D time is doing - being loving, supportive and generous and I salute him for that!
Cheers my friend!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"D time is absolutely right about trusting his wife and this has got nothing to do with him being a doormat.
From personal experience: Many men are not comfortable with the presence of the husband and can not "perform" well at all. Could be many reasons for that...
When I notice something like that during FMM I just find an excuse to go out and to leave them alone so they can have proper fun together. I have been always told after that sex was great...
So why I should be on the way of my wife having proper fun? I enjoy watching her handling as many cocks as she can, but sometimes circumstances are different, so one should be flexible and generous.
This is exactly what D time is doing - being loving, supportive and generous and I salute him for that!
Cheers my friend!
"
Your a player he is not there s a very BIG diffrence .. I know what it can do to people the hurt from this . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone's opinion is valid and there's been some great advice on here.
Without knowing the dynamics of your relationship though it's really hard to comment constructively.
For example my own opinion from your wifes point of view is it feels like she is exploring the option of an open relationship as opposed to a swinging one which you do together.
What does she think of the opinions given in the thread?
I hope the outcome is a good one for all involved x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Shes cheating and your allowing it to happen she deffo fucked the guy on holiday how dumb u gotta be let her meet him give it a month u will be gone dont do it lock tgat bitch down and fuck her pussy safe |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi All, well considering the extensive advice and support, it is only fair that I let you know how it turned out. I continued to get messages through the evening and even a picture of her giving him a blow job. By 1 am they still had not had sex though. I text as this seemed odd to me. The response I got was; "please come and join us." Slight logistical challenge leaving the house at 1 in the morning to drive an hour (thank god for the au pair). I arrived at the hotel room at 2 in the morning. The other chap was a little uncomfortable, but both my wife and I are very confident people so we did our best to make him feel OK whilst having a general chat. My wife just announced that she wanted some action. He said he couldn't do any more and wanted to leave us to it so he could get some sleep. It turns out that he had been having performance issues all evening, hence the fact that they only got to have sex once, which was just before I arrived. He really fancied my wife (and you couldn't blame him, she is ridiculously attractive and very sensual). However, he was really up to it. They had sex for all of five minutes and she didn't cum once. I have never known her cum less than 5 times in five minutes from sex! I was quite surprised that basically my wife had gone for sex and he wasn't up for the job, so she just called me in to sort her out properly! Bit harsh on the poor chap, but I guess a woman in need can be quite demanding. He had done a good job of getting her wound up and I got to have a few hours of great sex as a result. I have to say that this is not what I expected at all. I imagine that it will be an unexpected twist for anyone that has been following this thread. Once again, thanks for all of your support and advice; it has really helped with the journey. I have seen many threads on here turn into running jibes, put downs and arguments, but this shows that someone with a genuine concern or issue can rely on sensible comment and advice; a genuine community. Thanks |
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"Our experience with swinging and relationships has taught us this ;
If it makes you uncomfortable then it's best not to do it. Once it's done you can't undo it and if that risks the stability of your relationship, in our eyes, it's not worth it.
Swinging is supposed to be fun. Push boundaries but not at the risk of trashing what you have. "
That is so so true. Excellent advice |
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Oh......
Your wife cums 5 times in 5 mins of having sex???
Poor guy bet he felt shit lol...I feel sorry for him he thinks he's meeting a woman for a night of sex for then to b told oh by the way my husband knows about it and has seen all the texts! Then to make matters worse you can make me cum in 5 mins your shit lol...
You sure your not making this up?!? Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting turn of events, the guy probably did get a little unnerved suddenly having all that to take it. Im sure he will get over it though and your relationship will hopefully be stronger from the experience. Now when is your overnight with one of these lovely ladies? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh......
Your wife cums 5 times in 5 mins of having sex???
Poor guy bet he felt shit lol...I feel sorry for him he thinks he's meeting a woman for a night of sex for then to b told oh by the way my husband knows about it and has seen all the texts! Then to make matters worse you can make me cum in 5 mins your shit lol...
You sure your not making this up?!? Lol"
lol I was after reading that 5 times and different things is this a cover up . x  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok, I was being slightly colourful with the "cumming 5 times in 5 minutes" point, but it isn't far off reality. Not suggesting for a second that it is down to me; I have seen her with other guys and she does just cum a lot. Very rarely would it be less than 5 times in one period of sex.
No, it is definitely not a cover up! It was a very unexpected turn of events. I think it shows that it really was about nothing other than sex for her.
I also feel pretty bad for the guy. To be fair, he was very relaxed about me knowing; I just think the fact that my wife called in back-up was a bit of a surprise! If nothing else, we have learnt something about ourselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well........after the "results" announcements, I think most of us know the smell of bs when it's dispensed. We've been had ladies and gents, by, I suspect a very accomplished bs artist! Interesting to see how this gets followed up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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to be honest if I was the other guy I'd be a little be p*ssed off with the whole scenario......
meets a hottie on holiday, flirts via text,arranges to meet in hotel for a night of hot sex (probably paid for by him as well??)
finds out ~ she's married, hubby knows all, sex wasn't all it was cracked upto be, she calls on hubby to sort her out at his expense......!!!!
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I take it as a compliment that the thread is considered interesting enough to count as a story! It is all true, but it matters not. It has been a very fair bargain either way. I got some great advice and if it has provided entertainment in return then that is good.
I have to say that as relative newbies to all this, it seems that real life is very often stranger than fiction! However you see it, thanks for reading and thanks particularly to those that took the time to share their advice and experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only do whatever you feel comfortable with but at the risk of creating an issue i would question why she thinks this guy is worth travelling for, just my opinion and am no expert |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all, this is N (the wife). Just wanted to put my perspective on here and I have a couple of questions too. Honestly not a wind up. Firstly thank you for helping my husband out over the last couple of days the mixed responses really helped. D showed me the responses which were useful, but he had to explain to me why everyone thought I was hot - not heard the term Hotwife before! To clarify my position I don't think I/we are swingers as I perceive it, but I guess there are infinite varieties. I couldn't think of anything worse than the thought of my husband with another woman and me not being there in the room and even then not 100% comfortable. We have been together for 15 years and that has never changed. D, however is totally turned on horny (as I am) if I fancy someone and really want to have sex with them in an ideal world this would involve him watching / joining in but if not me to have sex with them and return home to immediately do it again with him. This wasn't possible in the situation that was posted because of logistics and the ability for me to explain to the poor guy that actually I wasn't cheating on my husband as he thought I was and in fact a lot of the texts we had exchanged were not from me!
We tried swinging for the first time in Amsterdam (because I'm petrified that I might know someone if it was in England) and had two great nights and certainly came home and enjoyed each other for months after.
A few years later Dave found this site and went on it and convinced me to meet a couple and enjoy an evening together which we did and then met them again and after that I came home and said this is doing nothing for me, nice people but just no chemistry and not sure I like watching D have sex with someone else. Last night was great (well not entirely for me, because the sex wasn't what I had hoped for) but absolutely was just about sex! I just want to have some great sex with someone I fancy and D is happy with that providing rules and boundaries are in place. As D has posted he has booked us to go to Spice in Lanazrote in a couple of weeks and I'm intrigued but mainly apprehensive. Definitely looking forward to sex with D in the sun and a tantric massage!
And just to conclude my husband is fantastic and we really do enjoy sex / sexy experiences but darling no one comes 5 times in 5 minutes!
I guess my question is then, what are we? In all the various elements of the lifestyle that you see on here from day to day, where do we fit in? I know it doesn't particularly matter, but there are some elements which we both love and some elements where we disagree. it would be lovely to find the route that was right for us. From my view, I loved the advice from Dr Jend, but I would, wouldn't I?. Tx N
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Where are you ?
The fact that you liked the advice which pretty much gave you the green light to go off and do what you like says it all really .
You don't want to see your husband with anyone else , yet if you see someone you fancy , you want to enjoy great sex with them .
How would it be if your husband said the same , and as you don't like to see it , he suggested you stay at home till he got back ?
Sounds like you would like to have your cake and eat it to me . If your husband engages in the cuckold role it's game on for you I guess . However , I don't think he is , and yet would take on the role to please you .
The only way I see this in the context of swinging , is that you want to be a hotwife and he wants to be a cuckold . In reality , you wish to have sex with people you fancy with his consent , and he gives it as he clearly loves you so much .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very talented....my advice....keep writing with your imaginative thoughts and speak to the publishers.
Top tip....don't slip up. Remember every word you have written. Don't get too carried away. Huge congratulations on capturing your audience.
If only it had lasted longer, I would have found my read for the beach next week.
I feel such a fool....I offered advice.
But well done. It worked but too many slight contradictions in your writing which became too obvious.....
I'm sure I'm not the only one with this opinion???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very talented....my advice....keep writing with your imaginative thoughts and speak to the publishers.
Top tip....don't slip up. Remember every word you have written. Don't get too carried away. Huge congratulations on capturing your audience.
If only it had lasted longer, I would have found my read for the beach next week.
I feel such a fool....I offered advice.
But well done. It worked but too many slight contradictions in your writing which became too obvious.....
I'm sure I'm not the only one with this opinion????"
He made first one with first post it was 2nd .. LOL We live and lean I do I hope the op will too . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok I'm gonna come right out n say it!! I'm sure I can't b the only one who is thinking it?!?.....
Great STORY! "
Now we have looked at the profile with no shown veris, we think that this whole thing was a fantasy by a married guy who is just typing out the fantasy scenario.in our opinion, the ending to this story and the start is one big fabrication.... Good start, great opinions though so we guess its done the job of a forum and got loads of opinions across x x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok I'm gonna come right out n say it!! I'm sure I can't b the only one who is thinking it?!?.....
Great STORY!
Now we have looked at the profile with no shown veris, we think that this whole thing was a fantasy by a married guy who is just typing out the fantasy scenario.in our opinion, the ending to this story and the start is one big fabrication.... Good start, great opinions though so we guess its done the job of a forum and got loads of opinions across x x "
or it could have been true until the end part and did not wish to be the doormat but the hero in this story. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had a "hotwife" overnight with me twice....it didn't cause any problems at all. But the couples had discussed things fully ahead of time and we had all spent an evening having a social/drink etc beforehand. Just to ensure all were comfortable and clear that anyone could pull out at any time.
As long as you are all sure it's what you want and are comfortable with it then enjoy!
Feel free to message privately if you want to know more. |
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