FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > does being soft? really put people off?
does being soft? really put people off?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just a general question? We are a soft swap couple & are wondering if it does put people off contacting us...meeting etc etc.... Answers on a post card.....;)   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yes, it seems to.
we have the same problem.
but hey ho.
have met some full swap couples that are happy with soft play, and others that feel its too restrictive for them, like the beall and endall is getting your fanny filled by a different cock, or getting your cock into another fanny.
tend to think these people lack imagination in their play, but obviously thats just an opinion and not true for everyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think its half and half on here tbh...theres quite alot of full and soft....it shouldnt make a difference there is someone for everyone...people can sometimes think you have insecurities if you dont go the whole way...thats what weve been told...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Interesting pics on your profile for a "soft" swap couple!  "
All pictures of us together! Of course we do full swap silly we are husband and wife! But soft swap with others |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think its half and half on here tbh...theres quite alot of full and soft....it shouldnt make a difference there is someone for everyone...people can sometimes think you have insecurities if you dont go the whole way...thats what weve been told... "
I can understand why people might this that...but that's not the reason, we don't really have a reason tbh, just works for us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm happy to soft swap, in fact most my fun with couples has been soft. Lots of scope for naughty fun. Don't get the non kissing thing though  "
now, we have been told that the soft thing is a put off for single women, as they expect to get fucked, although V has a strap on and is prepared to use it lol.
so is this not the case? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Then it would make sense to make that clear wouldn't it--then you manage people's expectations and attract the ones you want....  "
if you click on a couples profile and expect not to see pics of a man and a woman together in carnal enjoyment, then your in the wrong game lol.
however, if you have a single profile, and see the same, and say you only do soft play, then i could understand your argument |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm happy to soft swap, in fact most my fun with couples has been soft. Lots of scope for naughty fun. Don't get the non kissing thing though
now, we have been told that the soft thing is a put off for single women, as they expect to get fucked, although V has a strap on and is prepared to use it lol.
so is this not the case?"
Most of my meets with couples over the years have only been soft swap, I think I actually get more from that myself. I enjoy watching the couple together and joining them, lots and lots of fun can be had without full sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm happy to soft swap, in fact most my fun with couples has been soft. Lots of scope for naughty fun. Don't get the non kissing thing though
now, we have been told that the soft thing is a put off for single women, as they expect to get fucked, although V has a strap on and is prepared to use it lol.
so is this not the case?
Most of my meets with couples over the years have only been soft swap, I think I actually get more from that myself. I enjoy watching the couple together and joining them, lots and lots of fun can be had without full sex "
your on our list....lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm happy to soft swap, in fact most my fun with couples has been soft. Lots of scope for naughty fun. Don't get the non kissing thing though
now, we have been told that the soft thing is a put off for single women, as they expect to get fucked, although V has a strap on and is prepared to use it lol.
so is this not the case?
Most of my meets with couples over the years have only been soft swap, I think I actually get more from that myself. I enjoy watching the couple together and joining them, lots and lots of fun can be had without full sex
your on our list....lol"
Oooo you have a list? Is there a prize? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm happy to soft swap, in fact most my fun with couples has been soft. Lots of scope for naughty fun. Don't get the non kissing thing though
now, we have been told that the soft thing is a put off for single women, as they expect to get fucked, although V has a strap on and is prepared to use it lol.
so is this not the case?
Most of my meets with couples over the years have only been soft swap, I think I actually get more from that myself. I enjoy watching the couple together and joining them, lots and lots of fun can be had without full sex
your on our list....lol
Oooo you have a list? Is there a prize? "
Venus would make a great prize! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm happy to soft swap, in fact most my fun with couples has been soft. Lots of scope for naughty fun. Don't get the non kissing thing though
now, we have been told that the soft thing is a put off for single women, as they expect to get fucked, although V has a strap on and is prepared to use it lol.
so is this not the case?
Most of my meets with couples over the years have only been soft swap, I think I actually get more from that myself. I enjoy watching the couple together and joining them, lots and lots of fun can be had without full sex
your on our list....lol
Oooo you have a list? Is there a prize? "
only a booby prize, but something is better than nothing lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm happy to soft swap, in fact most my fun with couples has been soft. Lots of scope for naughty fun. Don't get the non kissing thing though
now, we have been told that the soft thing is a put off for single women, as they expect to get fucked, although V has a strap on and is prepared to use it lol.
so is this not the case?
Most of my meets with couples over the years have only been soft swap, I think I actually get more from that myself. I enjoy watching the couple together and joining them, lots and lots of fun can be had without full sex
your on our list....lol
Oooo you have a list? Is there a prize?
only a booby prize, but something is better than nothing lol"
Ooooooo booobies....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm happy to soft swap, in fact most my fun with couples has been soft. Lots of scope for naughty fun. Don't get the non kissing thing though "
We don't get the no kissing thing either. We like to kiss makes it very horny for everyone |
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"yes, it seems to.
we have the same problem.
but hey ho.
have met some full swap couples that are happy with soft play, and others that feel its too restrictive for them, like the beall and endall is getting your fanny filled by a different cock, or getting your cock into another fanny.
tend to think these people lack imagination in their play, but obviously thats just an opinion and not true for everyone."
... but that's what cocks and fannies where invented for!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm happy to soft swap, in fact most my fun with couples has been soft. Lots of scope for naughty fun. Don't get the non kissing thing though
now, we have been told that the soft thing is a put off for single women, as they expect to get fucked, although V has a strap on and is prepared to use it lol.
so is this not the case?
Most of my meets with couples over the years have only been soft swap, I think I actually get more from that myself. I enjoy watching the couple together and joining them, lots and lots of fun can be had without full sex
your on our list....lol
Oooo you have a list? Is there a prize?
only a booby prize, but something is better than nothing lol
Ooooooo booobies.... "
lol. |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"I'm happy to soft swap, in fact most my fun with couples has been soft. Lots of scope for naughty fun. Don't get the non kissing thing though
now, we have been told that the soft thing is a put off for single women, as they expect to get fucked, although V has a strap on and is prepared to use it lol.
so is this not the case?"
Like everything on here there'll be opposite views...soft swap is likely to put me off meeting a couple even if there's strapons available...mebbe I'm just greedy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I read the title I thought, hmm does being soft really put people off and wondered if it was going to be a thread about not getting it up!
 ...so did I!"
Glad I wasn't alone! lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I read the title I thought, hmm does being soft really put people off and wondered if it was going to be a thread about not getting it up!
...so did I!"
Me too!  |
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"yes, it seems to.
we have the same problem.
but hey ho.
have met some full swap couples that are happy with soft play, and others that feel its too restrictive for them, like the beall and endall is getting your fanny filled by a different cock, or getting your cock into another fanny.
tend to think these people lack imagination in their play, but obviously thats just an opinion and not true for everyone."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm happy to soft swap, in fact most my fun with couples has been soft. Lots of scope for naughty fun. Don't get the non kissing thing though
now, we have been told that the soft thing is a put off for single women, as they expect to get fucked, although V has a strap on and is prepared to use it lol.
so is this not the case?"
Fucking isn't a priority for me & I have many a meet with guys that I don't fuck, can only speak for myself X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm happy to soft swap, in fact most my fun with couples has been soft. Lots of scope for naughty fun. Don't get the non kissing thing though
now, we have been told that the soft thing is a put off for single women, as they expect to get fucked, although V has a strap on and is prepared to use it lol.
so is this not the case?
Fucking isn't a priority for me & I have many a meet with guys that I don't fuck, can only speak for myself X"
woo hoo, another to add to the maybe if we are lucky, list lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm happy to soft swap, in fact most my fun with couples has been soft. Lots of scope for naughty fun. Don't get the non kissing thing though
now, we have been told that the soft thing is a put off for single women, as they expect to get fucked, although V has a strap on and is prepared to use it lol.
so is this not the case?
Fucking isn't a priority for me & I have many a meet with guys that I don't fuck, can only speak for myself X"
Had a few meets myself where the fun has been intense but there was no fucking. There are many aspects to enjoy in playtime but I appreciate some feel it's lacking without giving a good hard pounding, for me though the sensual fun can be so much more rewarding!
Over to the rest of you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we full swap with single fems but as yet only soft swapped with couples - for us this is everything bar the g uys penetrating the others fem - we dont get the non kissy thing either as we love it lots but each to their own - so in answer soft swap wouldnt put us off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We only do soft in that neither of us will have penetration with others. Happy to do most other stuff but equally happy just to play with each other in front of others or while they play.
Makes it far more erotic and sensual rather than wham bam thank you man.
We have had many meets blowout soon as we say sex is off menu. Usually from single guys who have contated us but not read our profile .
Always looking for like minded couples to meet with. So hi all  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's definitely a 'to each is own' kind of thing, like many of you have already said. It's no different than different styles of music, liking different foods, different styles of clothing, etc...
Personally, I would never allow anybody to take a shit on my chest, or I could never do any heavy bondage type of stuff, but that's just my preference. Anybody into that stuff would obviously find others with similar interests.
It's all about finding people with tastes much like your own, and then just having fun!
-JD |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a general question? We are a soft swap couple & are wondering if it does put people off contacting us...meeting etc etc.... Answers on a post card.....;) "
For couples, yes personally. But can't see that it matters, it's not like you should change what you seek to suit others. |
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"I'm happy to soft swap, in fact most my fun with couples has been soft. Lots of scope for naughty fun. Don't get the non kissing thing though
now, we have been told that the soft thing is a put off for single women, as they expect to get fucked, although V has a strap on and is prepared to use it lol.
so is this not the case?
Fucking isn't a priority for me & I have many a meet with guys that I don't fuck, can only speak for myself X"
As a Domme I didn't always have penetrative sex with playmates: hell, with some I didn't even get undressed (CFNM). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I read the title I thought, hmm does being soft really put people off and wondered if it was going to be a thread about not getting it up! "
erectile dysfunction they say statins help for that now help the blood flow forget viagra.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a general question? We are a soft swap couple & are wondering if it does put people off contacting us...meeting etc etc.... Answers on a post card.....;) "
It does put us off a bit , but we have had some awesome soft swap meets .
The reason we are a bit anti is there are clearly limits , which for us inhibit a non contrived meet .
For us it's the spontaneity that's the key for a great time , and that's hard when you know there are obvious no no's .
The irony here is that our soft swap meets have been with full swap couples , perhaps because the limits were not in place they went so well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we only soft swap , have had a few peeps turn us down when we tell them but it is on our profile,
we do get plenty of offers anyway and most we play with or just watch be watched find it very erotic and fore play is more important to us than penetration,
as long as both partys have great orgasms it doesn't matter how you achieve them |
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Have played with couples where it was just soft play but at parties n clubs..not sure if it was a planned meet thst it would b on my mind the whole time about there do's n donts...I know from a previous meet with no kissing I found it difficult had to keep telling myself 'you must not kiss'!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's definitely a 'to each is own' kind of thing, like many of you have already said. It's no different than different styles of music, liking different foods, different styles of clothing, etc...
Personally, I would never allow anybody to take a shit on my chest, or I could never do any heavy bondage type of stuff, but that's just my preference. Anybody into that stuff would obviously find others with similar interests.
It's all about finding people with tastes much like your own, and then just having fun!
-JD"
I almost spat my drink out when I read shitting on your chest haha
Think that's made my night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I read the title I thought, hmm does being soft really put people off and wondered if it was going to be a thread about not getting it up! "
Ditto.... |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"It seems to me it's just like owing a Ferrari and keeping it in the garage!!!"
If I owned a Ferrari I'd only let myself or my other half drive it.
I'd let others look at it, polish it and maybe drool over it though!
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It seems to me it's just like owing a Ferrari and keeping it in the garage!!!
If I owned a Ferrari I'd only let myself or my other half drive it.
I'd let others look at it, polish it and maybe drool over it though!
A"
good answer |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It seems to me it's just like owing a Ferrari and keeping it in the garage!!!
If I owned a Ferrari I'd only let myself or my other half drive it.
I'd let others look at it, polish it and maybe drool over it though!
A"
 |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"It seems to me it's just like owing a Ferrari and keeping it in the garage!!!
If I owned a Ferrari I'd only let myself or my other half drive it.
I'd let others look at it, polish it and maybe drool over it though!
A
"
The odd one or two might get a ride in it too - but it's good to be selective!
Wouldn't let anyone take it for a spin without me though!
A |
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"It seems to me it's just like owing a Ferrari and keeping it in the garage!!!
If I owned a Ferrari I'd only let myself or my other half drive it.
I'd let others look at it, polish it and maybe drool over it though!
A
Good to hear that you would use it (however selectively) and not keep it in the garage though
The odd one or two might get a ride in it too - but it's good to be selective!
Wouldn't let anyone take it for a spin without me though!
A"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a general question? We are a soft swap couple & are wondering if it does put people off contacting us...meeting etc etc.... Answers on a post card.....;) "
i really hope not!! we are a soft swap couple (well for now) we are still quite new to all this, so hope it doesnt put people off wanting to meeting us!! |
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"Just a general question? We are a soft swap couple & are wondering if it does put people off contacting us...meeting etc etc.... Answers on a post card.....;)
i really hope not!! we are a soft swap couple (well for now) we are still quite new to all this, so hope it doesnt put people off wanting to meeting us!! "
yoyr too yummy to be put off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a general question? We are a soft swap couple & are wondering if it does put people off contacting us...meeting etc etc.... Answers on a post card.....;)
i really hope not!! we are a soft swap couple (well for now) we are still quite new to all this, so hope it doesnt put people off wanting to meeting us!! yoyr too yummy to be put off"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's definitely a 'to each is own' kind of thing, like many of you have already said. It's no different than different styles of music, liking different foods, different styles of clothing, etc...
Personally, I would never allow anybody to take a shit on my chest, or I could never do any heavy bondage type of stuff, but that's just my preference. Anybody into that stuff would obviously find others with similar interests.
It's all about finding people with tastes much like your own, and then just having fun!
-JD
I almost spat my drink out when I read shitting on your chest haha
Think that's made my night "
Lol my pleasure |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Interesting pics on your profile for a "soft" swap couple!
This "
Why ? We are a married couple & the only full sex is between us two.
On top of that there are pics of us not together & tattoos make it quite obvious who is fucking in the pics  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It seems to me it's just like owing a Ferrari and keeping it in the garage!!!
If I owned a Ferrari I'd only let myself or my other half drive it.
I'd let others look at it, polish it and maybe drool over it though!
A"
A pity they're so hard to find though.
Plenty of fun can be had with some good polishing, but personally I have a better time if I'm not fearful of being told not to touch. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a general question? We are a soft swap couple & are wondering if it does put people off contacting us...meeting etc etc.... Answers on a post card.....;) "
As a female who meets couples. Yes it would put me off. Same as when the female wants to try bi. I want the whole experience x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We only do soft swap also, it works for us and we enjoy it and don't feel the need or want to do the full swap thing.
If that means less people want to met or play with us, then fine.
everyone has their own preferences that they will or won't do .. it's up to everyone else to respect that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I read the title I thought, hmm does being soft really put people off and wondered if it was going to be a thread about not getting it up! "
Indeed a soft cock would be a bit off putting or even insulting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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have to ask, again, those that have said they would be put off because of too many do's and dont's, does that mean full swappers dont have do's and dont's?
so every meet, you can do anal, ass to mouth, bareback, scat, watersports so on so on and so on??
these are all limits that are agreed beforehand
we have 1 limit more than full swappers that dont do all of the above, which is we dont fuck other people.
how would this be so difficult to keep to?
not like its a list
you cant touch her right breast
you can only suck his cock on a strict 38 degree angle
you must only finger her using your middle and index fingers, no others
and so on.
so whats with the complaint about boundaries and restrictions? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"have to ask, again, those that have said they would be put off because of too many do's and dont's, does that mean full swappers dont have do's and dont's?
so every meet, you can do anal, ass to mouth, bareback, scat, watersports so on so on and so on??
these are all limits that are agreed beforehand
we have 1 limit more than full swappers that dont do all of the above, which is we dont fuck other people.
how would this be so difficult to keep to?
not like its a list
you cant touch her right breast
you can only suck his cock on a strict 38 degree angle
you must only finger her using your middle and index fingers, no others
and so on.
so whats with the complaint about boundaries and restrictions?"
Everybody has the right to say no. That's quite different to setting out knowing there are various restrictions in place.
Probably most people I've played wth has been 'soft sex', but personally I prefer to know the full menu is available should we all wish, and I find that more relaxing.
That doesn't prevent anybody else from choosing to do things how they wish. The original question was whether it puts some people off, to which the answer is yes it does. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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my quote was much more in response to, i think it was gloscouples, comment.
they said soft puts too many boundaries in place that they find they would spend too much time thinking about avoiding crossing.
but many full swap profiles dont have the full menu on offer.
the 3 p's
no anal
no kissing
and so on, these are all boundaries, and tbh some of them we dont have.
so again, i cant see how full swap is realistically less restrictive than soft, unless, as i said, the people involved's idea of swinging is to be able to fuck a stranger, rather than engage in sexual activity with others, if you can see where im coming from |
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Surely it's what makes couples comfortable we only looking for soft swap as that's what makes us comfortable does put a lot of people of we had rude messages about it . We just enjoying ourselves and find the right people for us . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a general question? We are a soft swap couple & are wondering if it does put people off contacting us...meeting etc etc.... Answers on a post card.....;) "
It would surely just put off those not looking for soft swap? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my quote was much more in response to, i think it was gloscouples, comment.
they said soft puts too many boundaries in place that they find they would spend too much time thinking about avoiding crossing.
but many full swap profiles dont have the full menu on offer.
the 3 p's
no anal
no kissing
and so on, these are all boundaries, and tbh some of them we dont have.
so again, i cant see how full swap is realistically less restrictive than soft, unless, as i said, the people involved's idea of swinging is to be able to fuck a stranger, rather than engage in sexual activity with others, if you can see where im coming from"
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"Just a general question? We are a soft swap couple & are wondering if it does put people off contacting us...meeting etc etc.... Answers on a post card.....;)
It would surely just put off those not looking for soft swap?"
You would think but people still message and get upset when you say soft swap only |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"have to ask, again, those that have said they would be put off because of too many do's and dont's, does that mean full swappers dont have do's and dont's?
so every meet, you can do anal, ass to mouth, bareback, scat, watersports so on so on and so on??
these are all limits that are agreed beforehand
we have 1 limit more than full swappers that dont do all of the above, which is we dont fuck other people.
how would this be so difficult to keep to?
not like its a list
you cant touch her right breast
you can only suck his cock on a strict 38 degree angle
you must only finger her using your middle and index fingers, no others
and so on.
so whats with the complaint about boundaries and restrictions?"
I agree with this , however , rightly or wrongly when a couple say they are soft swap there is an immediate thought that there are gonna be more restrictions than just penetrative .
So that's perhaps the reason for skimming over these proles .
We were soft swap when we started 3 years ago , and unsure of kissing . Within a month we had pretty much done away with restrictions , and now have none .
Of course that's our choice , and as we said , we have had some awesome soft swap meets |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a general question? We are a soft swap couple & are wondering if it does put people off contacting us...meeting etc etc.... Answers on a post card.....;)
It would surely just put off those not looking for soft swap?
You would think but people still message and get upset when you say soft swap only "
Then I don't follow. Clearly people just aren't reading your profile and when you point out you are soft swap only then they are put off because they aren't looking for soft swap? Hence my comment you will only be putting off those not looking for soft swap. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my quote was much more in response to, i think it was gloscouples, comment.
they said soft puts too many boundaries in place that they find they would spend too much time thinking about avoiding crossing.
but many full swap profiles dont have the full menu on offer.
the 3 p's
no anal
no kissing
and so on, these are all boundaries, and tbh some of them we dont have.
so again, i cant see how full swap is realistically less restrictive than soft, unless, as i said, the people involved's idea of swinging is to be able to fuck a stranger, rather than engage in sexual activity with others, if you can see where im coming from"
I don't disagree, but the original question was whether or not it puts some people off. For me it does along with various other things.
I've only met one couple where they'd specified soft sex, and it was awkward - especially when the female clearly sought more.
For me there's no need to specify full or soft. Every time is different, depending on all sorts of things. It's a little like if I specify 'full swap' does that mean everybody could expect that to be the case? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can someone please tell me what soft swap is? I'm so confused! As a single woman meeting a couple I wouldn't want to just have sex with the woman or have her use a strap on on me while the man watches. I'd prefer to do that alone with the woman. As a couple meeting another couple would soft swap mean just oral for the men but women can have strap on sex? I need enlightenment |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can someone please tell me what soft swap is? I'm so confused! As a single woman meeting a couple I wouldn't want to just have sex with the woman or have her use a strap on on me while the man watches. I'd prefer to do that alone with the woman. As a couple meeting another couple would soft swap mean just oral for the men but women can have strap on sex? I need enlightenment "
For us soft swap is anything apart from actually fucking you.
So oral kissing & touching is what we like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can someone please tell me what soft swap is? I'm so confused! As a single woman meeting a couple I wouldn't want to just have sex with the woman or have her use a strap on on me while the man watches. I'd prefer to do that alone with the woman. As a couple meeting another couple would soft swap mean just oral for the men but women can have strap on sex? I need enlightenment
For us soft swap is anything apart from actually fucking you.
So oral kissing & touching is what we like "
So no penetration at all? Oral for all by all? I'm taking notes lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Can someone please tell me what soft swap is? I'm so confused! As a single woman meeting a couple I wouldn't want to just have sex with the woman or have her use a strap on on me while the man watches. I'd prefer to do that alone with the woman. As a couple meeting another couple would soft swap mean just oral for the men but women can have strap on sex? I need enlightenment
For us soft swap is anything apart from actually fucking you.
So oral kissing & touching is what we like
So no penetration at all? Oral for all by all? I'm taking notes lol "
Sorry I wasn't very clear lol
Are only rule is me(hubby) is not aloud to put my penis in your pussy but anything else is fine by us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can someone please tell me what soft swap is? I'm so confused! As a single woman meeting a couple I wouldn't want to just have sex with the woman or have her use a strap on on me while the man watches. I'd prefer to do that alone with the woman. As a couple meeting another couple would soft swap mean just oral for the men but women can have strap on sex? I need enlightenment
For us soft swap is anything apart from actually fucking you.
So oral kissing & touching is what we like
So no penetration at all? Oral for all by all? I'm taking notes lol
Sorry I wasn't very clear lol
Are only rule is me(hubby) is not aloud to put my penis in your pussy but anything else is fine by us "
noted so anal is allowed ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can someone please tell me what soft swap is? I'm so confused! As a single woman meeting a couple I wouldn't want to just have sex with the woman or have her use a strap on on me while the man watches. I'd prefer to do that alone with the woman. As a couple meeting another couple would soft swap mean just oral for the men but women can have strap on sex? I need enlightenment
For us soft swap is anything apart from actually fucking you.
So oral kissing & touching is what we like
So no penetration at all? Oral for all by all? I'm taking notes lol
Sorry I wasn't very clear lol
Are only rule is me(hubby) is not aloud to put my penis in your pussy but anything else is fine by us
noted so anal is allowed ? "
Haha I'll check with the wife butt i don't think so |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can someone please tell me what soft swap is? I'm so confused! As a single woman meeting a couple I wouldn't want to just have sex with the woman or have her use a strap on on me while the man watches. I'd prefer to do that alone with the woman. As a couple meeting another couple would soft swap mean just oral for the men but women can have strap on sex? I need enlightenment "
There is no answer, everyone is different. You need to discuss with each couple what they are happy with.
And also what you are happy with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a general question? We are a soft swap couple & are wondering if it does put people off contacting us...meeting etc etc.... Answers on a post card.....;)
It would surely just put off those not looking for soft swap?
You would think but people still message and get upset when you say soft swap only
Then I don't follow. Clearly people just aren't reading your profile and when you point out you are soft swap only then they are put off because they aren't looking for soft swap? Hence my comment you will only be putting off those not looking for soft swap. "
that suggests people read profiles and not just look at boobs/cocks....lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can someone please tell me what soft swap is? I'm so confused! As a single woman meeting a couple I wouldn't want to just have sex with the woman or have her use a strap on on me while the man watches. I'd prefer to do that alone with the woman. As a couple meeting another couple would soft swap mean just oral for the men but women can have strap on sex? I need enlightenment
For us soft swap is anything apart from actually fucking you.
So oral kissing & touching is what we like
So no penetration at all? Oral for all by all? I'm taking notes lol "
as i have said on other threads, nanna, it can be many things to many people.
as you have said, a past experience for you was just fem fem play.
soft play starts at being in the same room with others, and no interraction further than watching, and ends just before someone puts something in something else, of the baby making variety, thats not wanted lol.
so, as has been said, we are similarly, hard soft swappers as the only limit we have is no full sex with other people
others will want just female interraction, nothing from the male
others will just want to do their own thing in the company of another couple doing their own thing.
its best just to ask those concerned |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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just to specify, as you asked about anal.
its generally where the mans baby making machinery goes, rather than the utilisation of the females lol.
in our play, as said, V likes strap on fun with the other female.
so its not like the act of sex isnt enjoyed, its just not with the other male. |
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There is a difference between stating some limits i.e. the 3 p’s, no anal, no bareback and so on to Soft Swap. Some limits can represent only a small percentage to a large pie of sexy fun which is on offer, while “soft swap” completely removes a large percentage of those multiple choices… which is limiting… thought I completely agree that lots and lots of fun can be had without full sex and imagination plays a great part in each foreplay.
Messaging and getting upset about those individuals who feel comfortable to only soft swap is lack of respect as “we” swingers should consider ourselves open minded, libertines people with great capabilities to be more understanding than most people in our society or are we?
Comments such as “nothing is carved in stone” and “happy to go with the flow” or even “we are still quite new to this” come across much more positive and acceptable by most as indeed it’s always best not expect too much from a meet and subsequently feel privileged to even get as far as a soft swap, however making upfront the “soft swap” can put some people off because it’s just like saying:
- No matter how sexy or charming you are, No matter how much you turn me on and/or how incredibly wet you make me… Penetration is not an option! – which bring to ask: - BUT WHY? –
The OP answer “We are a married couple & the only full sex is between us two.” Is not the most obvious justification, for a) this is a swinger site and b) swinging was initiated as a “Wife Swapping” idea… There is something much more deeper in those words, that even the OP do not know the truth themselves… who knows, perhaps a strict family upbringing? or the fear of losing a hard on? (hence the title “does being soft really put people off” could start making more meaning that it was meant to)
There is no doubt that women can get more fucking than one man alone could possibly satisfy their needs, this is mother nature and you cannot change it, apparently the variety of more sperm in the vagina encourages a more successful fertilisation, so “male dominated society” had to inflicting rules to stop this from happening throughout the centuries, with fear created by religious belief to make sure that the woman would be the only private property and/or owned by the man who married her… this is still a physiological obstacle to overcome even today!
Having said that I am a strong believer that whatever goes on between two individuals is up to them and only between them themselves to decide, I do not judge and it’s none of my business, but I thought to share my experience and my belief with you.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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2 single men on a swingers site cannot use the wife swap argument for their cause, as it would also eliminate themselves, im afraid to say.
you say soft swap removes a large percentage of the pie, as it were.
i disagree.
shagging is 1 act.
as is oral
as is kissing
anal
and so on
to remove any 1 of these is still only removing 1 section of play.
how is a couple happy to fuck, but not kiss 'better' by definition than a couple that doesnt want to fuck, but are happy to kiss?
and any other number of combinations that people do, and dont, want to do.
obviously, pumping your dick into womans pussy is important to your play, as you havent anyone of your own to engage in it with, and thats fine.
however, the dynamic is very different for couples as, even if mrs X wouldnt want me to stick my dick in her chuff, V is more than happy for me to, so its not like im going home without a fuck.
and, as an addendum, we have had a group meet with 2 other single men, and they most certainly didnt go home feeling they had missed out by not getting a fuck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The OP answer “We are a married couple & the only full sex is between us two.” Is not the most obvious justification, for a) this is a swinger site and b) swinging was initiated as a “Wife Swapping” idea… There is something much more deeper in those words, that even the OP do not know the truth themselves… who knows, perhaps a strict family upbringing? or the fear of losing a hard on? (hence the title “does being soft really put people off” could start making more meaning that it was meant to)
"
why does it have to be any deeper, why can't the OP or anyone else make the choice that they don't want sexual penetration. Being soft swap doesn't mean we don't swap partners or have some physiological issues ..
we only have penetrative sex between us , that's our choice because we want to keep that between ourselves .. but doesn't stop us being intimate with another couple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a bi woman i like full works except 3p's,anal,scat etc
I like no rules like no kissing (not keen on yes kiss woman not man)
And no penetrative sex of man (but yes bang her/me with a strapon)
Im not a show for the man im there to pleasure both in the couple,basically all to pleasure eachother,i love all the foreplay but i enjoy the sex with the man too,not to just Watch them penetrate eachother,put a durex on and dont leave me out  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"
Comments such as “nothing is carved in stone” and “happy to go with the flow” or even “we are still quite new to this” come across much more positive and acceptable by most as indeed it’s always best not expect too much from a meet and subsequently feel privileged to even get as far as a soft swap, however making upfront the “soft swap” can put some people off because it’s just like saying:
- No matter how sexy or charming you are, No matter how much you turn me on and/or how incredibly wet you make me… Penetration is not an option! – which bring to ask: - BUT WHY? –
The OP answer “We are a married couple & the only full sex is between us two.” Is not the most obvious justification, for a) this is a swinger site and b) swinging was initiated as a “Wife Swapping” idea… There is something much more deeper in those words, that even the OP do not know the truth themselves… who knows, perhaps a strict family upbringing? or the fear of losing a hard on?
"
If someone is put off by a profile stating 'soft swap only' - then move on to one that doesn't. It's a clear instruction is it not, that shouldn't need justifying or rewording so as to appear more 'positive' ?
As for the BUT WHY? question?
Why the hell not? It shouldn't matter how 'sexy' or 'charming' someone is - if someone has a preference for a style of play the why should they be expected to bend it for some?
As for your wife swapping analogy? As someone who is involved in the club scene I'd have thought that argument would be avoided given the attendance at yours and pretty much every other club of singles of both sexes - some of whom believe it or not also indulge in fun aside from penetrative sex.
And I'm not going to respond to the remarks about 'a strict family upbringing' or 'fear of losing a hard on' as they're both disrespectful and pointless.
At the end of the day it's a preference.
Like any other.
If it someone else's preference or style of play is not to your liking - just move on and let them enjoy their fun THEIR WAY!
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a general question? We are a soft swap couple & are wondering if it does put people off contacting us...meeting etc etc.... Answers on a post card.....;) "
Good question, which came up for us yesterday (a couple wanted to soft swap with us). After thinking about it, I found the idea of having sex with your partner, knowing you are being watched by another couple having sex is quite a turn-on. Yes, open to it leading to more if all is okay, yet enough of an pleasure in itself. |
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"
The OP answer “We are a married couple & the only full sex is between us two.” Is not the most obvious justification, for a) this is a swinger site and b) swinging was initiated as a “Wife Swapping” idea… There is something much more deeper in those words, that even the OP do not know the truth themselves… who knows, perhaps a strict family upbringing? or the fear of losing a hard on? (hence the title “does being soft really put people off” could start making more meaning that it was meant to)
why does it have to be any deeper, why can't the OP or anyone else make the choice that they don't want sexual penetration. Being soft swap doesn't mean we don't swap partners or have some physiological issues ..
we only have penetrative sex between us , that's our choice because we want to keep that between ourselves .. but doesn't stop us being intimate with another couple "
Well yes… possibly… but who knows? I am trying to make everyone think of the true reason as this topic is becoming very interesting so much to the benefit to the OP for sharing their experience with us.
You see I come from a very religious background and was brought up in a Mediterranean country where putting your cock in other fannies was considered to be prestigious from the Men point of you while it would be bad from the receiving side making Women sluts and really bad… was I supposed to benefit from it? NO I thought myself: - Hand on something is truly wrong here 2 + 2 = 4 NOT 5!!! –
I have always tried to see things from a different point of view and learn by it… it’s interesting! I have learnt that people who truly know what they want live a happier life and they do not mind to what other people think of them. Denying any possibility of intercourse no matter what, though while you like it so much with your own partner, cannot be compared to let’s say no anal sex, when clearly you do not like it even with your own partner! Consequently by removing any chance that, under special circumstances, in the right environment, you could be carried away to even consider sexual intercourse, it may be off putting for some people… but if you are happy with that… Hey Happy Days!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can someone please tell me what soft swap is? I'm so confused! As a single woman meeting a couple I wouldn't want to just have sex with the woman or have her use a strap on on me while the man watches. I'd prefer to do that alone with the woman. As a couple meeting another couple would soft swap mean just oral for the men but women can have strap on sex? I need enlightenment
For us soft swap is anything apart from actually fucking you.
So oral kissing & touching is what we like
So no penetration at all? Oral for all by all? I'm taking notes lol
Sorry I wasn't very clear lol
Are only rule is me(hubby) is not aloud to put my penis in your pussy but anything else is fine by us
noted so anal is allowed ?
Haha I'll check with the wife butt i don't think so "
I meant you receiving typical male response |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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who says the denial of anal sex is because the person doesnt like it at all?
there are again plenty of profiles that say anal is something to be kept between partners.
going back to the full discussion here, our POV is that, V has done her 'being easy' period in her life, when she left her ex (her words) so she has no interest in having full sex with any other men.
it is just truly that simple.
me, well i have never seen sex as the be all and end all, and so whatever is a turn on for us both, not just one of us, is good by me.
and im happy to go as far as im happy to go.
i have had the option of having sex with other women, i just dont want to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Haha how did this get to a question about our up bringing ?
So do full swap couples come from a different up bringing & do gay people have a different up bringing again ?
I can't be bothered to read all the way through to find out who said that but who ever it was is an idiot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haha how did this get to a question about our up bringing ?
So do full swap couples come from a different up bringing & do gay people have a different up bringing again ?
I can't be bothered to read all the way through to find out who said that but who ever it was is an idiot "
they arent idiots.
they just say idiotic things lol |
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"Haha how did this get to a question about our up bringing ?
So do full swap couples come from a different up bringing & do gay people have a different up bringing again ?
I can't be bothered to read all the way through to find out who said that but who ever it was is an idiot "
Really? You seem to have the problem with putting people off not I… Frankly speaking I could not care less if you are a soft swap or a hard swap. I was only trying to find ways for making you more wanted by diluting your soft swap in a maybe… but if you are happy with that I cannot see what’s your problem?
There is absolutely no reason for being offensive when you are the one in asking other people opinions!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just to put the record straight guys!! As you can see from our verifications we haven't had any problems meeting with couples or single men and every meet has been fantastic! !!! This is purely just us asking a question! ; ) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just wanted to put the record straight! As you can see from our verifications we have not had any issues meeting great couples and single men and have had amazing experiences!! This is purely a question?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some fair points were made. Seems more idiotic to me to jump to a conclusion without 'bothering' to read a discussion started by yourself.
I agree that the 'soft swap label' comes across as less easy going than a more go with the flow approach, which in my case as often as not ends up being 'soft' anyway. But it's best not to start a debate in an open forum if you prefer only to hear viewpoints that suit your own. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some fair points were made. Seems more idiotic to me to jump to a conclusion without 'bothering' to read a discussion started by yourself.
I agree that the 'soft swap label' comes across as less easy going than a more go with the flow approach, which in my case as often as not ends up being 'soft' anyway. But it's best not to start a debate in an open forum if you prefer only to hear viewpoints that suit your own."
Maybe I've read something in the wrong way but the only thing I got offended by was our upbringing into question by someone who doesn't know us.
Again maybe I've read it wrong but I've read it again & still don't see why our up bringing has anything to do with it.
We've not been offended by anything else apart from that comment.
It may not of been intended to insult us & if not then I would apologise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just read the first and then last comments on here - bit wierd lol.
Anyway. We have no problem with a soft swap couple. But I am sure if you met us you would not stay soft for long lol
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just read the first and then last comments on here - bit wierd lol.
Anyway. We have no problem with a soft swap couple. But I am sure if you met us you would not stay soft for long lol
"
Looking at your pics am sure your right lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As a soft swing couple it would help us if we had a filter on the site search. we can then all search for soft swop only or full swop only or full and soft swop, the more filters fab introduce the easier for all of us to find our preferences but then were do you stop filtering.
As a couple we will do anything with others except full sex but we been very close on occasions. It's harder to find couples for soft fun and when I took the softplay off the profile we were inundated with offers, we do find plenty to play with it just takes some time to find them lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We like meeting for soft play as well as 'full play'
It can be a refreshing change. It also helps us to 'hone some of our 'skills' lol.
As the bloke in the couple, if I think that we are going to meet the couple more then once, I might only do soft swap on the first meet to get to know the lady better. I have never had any complaints lol.
xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a soft swing couple it would help us if we had a filter on the site search. we can then all search for soft swop only or full swop only or full and soft swop, the more filters fab introduce the easier for all of us to find our preferences but then were do you stop filtering.
As a couple we will do anything with others except full sex but we been very close on occasions. It's harder to find couples for soft fun and when I took the softplay off the profile we were inundated with offers, we do find plenty to play with it just takes some time to find them lol"
people have it on their interests.
its just some tht have it on there, arent actually interested in playing soft.
have had the discussion with a few couples about it. |
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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago
Clacton on sea, Essex |
Saying we do soft does stem the influx of mail & gets us the more genuine people, a lot of couples profiles are dominated by the male half and if a shags out the window they can't be bothered. |
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By *andACouple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"I just read the first and then last comments on here - bit wierd lol.
Anyway. We have no problem with a soft swap couple. But I am sure if you met us you would not stay soft for long lol
"
Why not? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I just read the first and then last comments on here - bit wierd lol.
Anyway. We have no problem with a soft swap couple. But I am sure if you met us you would not stay soft for long lol
Why not?"
im sure she meant the make up of the penis rather than change play preferences. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Just wanted to say a Massive! Thanks for the person who just sent us a insulting private message & then blocked us!!!! Would of been nice to be given the opportunity to respond to your take on soft swap & of course your childishness insult....
Some sad people on here...we wanted a light hearted response.....but there's always one hey... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wanted to say a Massive! Thanks for the person who just sent us a insulting private message & then blocked us!!!! Would of been nice to be given the opportunity to respond to your take on soft swap & of course your childishness insult....
Some sad people on here...we wanted a light hearted response.....but there's always one hey..."
im sure it was from a guy who was just upset cos you only soft swing and he is jealous and upset cos he cant play with you, as im sure there are plenty that would like too nice pics guys |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just wanted to say a Massive! Thanks for the person who just sent us a insulting private message & then blocked us!!!! Would of been nice to be given the opportunity to respond to your take on soft swap & of course your childishness insult....
Some sad people on here...we wanted a light hearted response.....but there's always one hey...
im sure it was from a guy who was just upset cos you only soft swing and he is jealous and upset cos he cant play with you, as im sure there are plenty that would like too nice pics guys"
Thanks! !! Profile stated a women!! But could be anyone!! Green not a good colour on any sex...male or female!
Thanks for the compliment! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wanted to say a Massive! Thanks for the person who just sent us a insulting private message & then blocked us!!!! Would of been nice to be given the opportunity to respond to your take on soft swap & of course your childishness insult....
Some sad people on here...we wanted a light hearted response.....but there's always one hey...
im sure it was from a guy who was just upset cos you only soft swing and he is jealous and upset cos he cant play with you, as im sure there are plenty that would like too nice pics guys
Thanks! !! Profile stated a women!! But could be anyone!! Green not a good colour on any sex...male or female!
Thanks for the compliment! X "
looking at your pics would you allow us to be a light lime green. |
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"Just a general question? We are a soft swap couple & are wondering if it does put people off contacting us...meeting etc etc.... Answers on a post card.....;) "
I haven't read the full thread but in my opinion soft swap is a massive turn off to me, I find it so frustrating, But the good thing about fab is there is pretty much something for everyone. Good luck finding the perfect meet xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wanted to say a Massive! Thanks for the person who just sent us a insulting private message & then blocked us!!!! Would of been nice to be given the opportunity to respond to your take on soft swap & of course your childishness insult....
Some sad people on here...we wanted a light hearted response.....but there's always one hey..."
wow, soft or full swap .. they are ones to avoid anyway !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a general question? We are a soft swap couple & are wondering if it does put people off contacting us...meeting etc etc.... Answers on a post card.....;)
I haven't read the full thread but in my opinion soft swap is a massive turn off to me, I find it so frustrating, But the good thing about fab is there is pretty much something for everyone. Good luck finding the perfect meet xx"
well, tbh, soft play doesnt lend itself to humiliation and cuckoldry, so i would be suprised if it were your thing lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just read the first and then last comments on here - bit wierd lol.
Anyway. We have no problem with a soft swap couple. But I am sure if you met us you would not stay soft for long lol
Why not?
im sure she meant the make up of the penis rather than change play preferences."
Take it anyway you want. Just having a giggle with everyone.
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a general question? We are a soft swap couple & are wondering if it does put people off contacting us...meeting etc etc.... Answers on a post card.....;) "
Each to their own. Its good to know your limitations, and not be pushed into unwanted situations. With Sandra, it has always been her objection to guys cumming in her mouth. Its amazing how many guys went on to say that they would convince her otherwise. They never got to meet her. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just a general question? We are a soft swap couple & are wondering if it does put people off contacting us...meeting etc etc.... Answers on a post card.....;)
I haven't read the full thread but in my opinion soft swap is a massive turn off to me, I find it so frustrating, But the good thing about fab is there is pretty much something for everyone. Good luck finding the perfect meet xx"
We have had plenty of fantastic meets! Check out our verifications! We are purely asking a question. Cheers very much for your input and fabulous feedback |
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By *aisy100Woman
over a year ago
wakefield |
Some full swap couples dont get the "soft swap"
Some soft swap couples dont get the "full swap"
Some people dont get the "no kissing"
At the end of the day there is no wrong or right way to swing!
And to answer the question yes it would put me off meeting a couple if it was only soft swap ( not that I meet couples)
The reason being I dont like to feel resticted and think about what I can and cant do or if I did something would one of them not like it.... I dont think it can be compared to the poo/pee/pain senario as they are not as mainstream as penatrive sex..... in my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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some of our best meets have been soft swap.
we define soft swap as everything except full sex. we have found soft swap meets to be more erotic and sensual |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some full swap couples dont get the "soft swap"
Some soft swap couples dont get the "full swap"
Some people dont get the "no kissing"
At the end of the day there is no wrong or right way to swing!
And to answer the question yes it would put me off meeting a couple if it was only soft swap ( not that I meet couples)
The reason being I dont like to feel resticted and think about what I can and cant do or if I did something would one of them not like it.... I dont think it can be compared to the poo/pee/pain senario as they are not as mainstream as penatrive sex..... in my opinion"
point taken.
would you meet a full couple that didnt do kissing between opposite sexes? |
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