FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Disheartened :(
Disheartened :(
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey guys,
We had our first meet with a guy on Wednesday. Started off as a social and then headed back to ours. There was no pressure or anything in the pub, we got along great, had a bit of a make-out and asked if he wanted to come to ours, to which he jumped at the chance. We felt it was awesome and We had alot of fun. He even said Mrs was the best head he had ever received. He seemed genuinely happy. Made him cum, we chatted for a bit and he left happy.
We have tried talking to him since as he said he would be like another meet with us. But he has deleted his profile and wont talk to us on kik 
Now I dont know if this is us, or if there are genuinely people like that on here. It has really disheartened the Mrs and put her off meeting again
And advice or words of wisdom are welcome.
Thanks Guys
x |
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It's not you two, it's him. He just didn't want to see you both again for whatever his reason was and was too polite to say so and was too scared/embarrassed to say so afterwards.
The next guy might stay in touch, but if you don't try, you will never know.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"His wife found out? He changed his mind? He lied? He's ashamed? He doesn't want to do it anymore?
Who knows, but you'll tie yourself up in knots trying to work it out, just move on..."
Totally agree x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hope I'm not sounding nasty...but was there any bisexual/curious play?- he was most likely just after getting his hole...but in female form....but some will of course not bother AT the time , then punch themselves repeatedly in the balls excllaiming
"Noooooooooooooooooooooo! NOOOoooo! Nooo! Nooo!"(insert he had a limit)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks Guys. Just sucks that it was our first and this happened - Mrs x"
Don't feel bad. You had a great time, just remember that side of it. People disappear off here all the time. x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"hope I'm not sounding nasty...but was there any bisexual/curious play?- he was most likely just after getting his hole...but in female form....but some will of course not bother AT the time , then punch themselves repeatedly in the balls excllaiming
"Noooooooooooooooooooooo! NOOOoooo! Nooo! Nooo!"(insert he had a limit) "
Nope, There was no bisexual play at all. :/ |
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We've had a couple of guys like that, but we've also found some that we chat to and meet again. If this is what you want to do, keep going. It's his loss and you've still got each other for future fun. |
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Your meet sounds like fun for all parties and we don't understand what you're upset about. Not everyone wants to meet again.
For example, we have regular friends we like to meet. But we also meet people for one off fun. It's all enjoyable and we aren't offended if people don't want to meet us again.
Move on. Meet others. Have fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have had a very similar meet but from the opposite side similar situ. Great meet, fantastic mutual verris the next day. 24hrs later I was blocked. It knocked me for six. Just accept the oft bizarre nature of this lifestyle and enjoy future fun and games.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happened to me and my ex with a guy , fantastic sex with him twice then when I tried to contact again said I was harassing him ! I would say most encounters are with someone who has a partner who knows nothing about what's going on . |
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you need to keep firmly at the front of your mind that this is no strings attached and for lots of people that means exactly that, no contact afterwards at all and strictly a one off. Don't let it upset you or blame yourself, it isn't anyone's fault but might be a question of different expectations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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don't get disheartened for some it's completely NSA, so you could have have built up a bit of rapport before on KIK, had a fabulous time when you got together & then that's were it ends.
some people aren't good at saying that they don't want to meet so it's easier to block.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks everyone for your reassuring words. I just wish he would have told us straight, rather than saying he would like another meet, then not talking to us lol.
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe he got what he wanted and did a runner x Just put it down as experience and move on. If your new and looking to widen your fab friendship circle try socials great way to meet people have made a good few friends this way and I love the social side of swinging too x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There will always be the ones who just have the bank robber mentality who get what they want and are off on their heels covering their tracks along the way !!!
Just take it in your stride
Hopefully it won't put you off keep trying!!
Remember god loves a trier so do most on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Take it for what it was a meet. We tend not to listen to guys or couples when they say they want regular meets, then if it happen it is a bonus! You will come idiots arse holes and lovely people on this site. We have come across all the above and worse, so deep breath and move on, there are some good people on here .   |
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If he just wasn't into you then he would have just blocked you.
The fact that he has deleted his profile means that something bigger has happened than just you guys.
Perhaps he was in a relationship already or is in one now.
Don't let it bother you. There are plenty more single guys in the sea. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Having looked at your profile pics I reckon he had a heart attack when he realised how lucky he'd been.His loss not yours move on and enjoy the scene for what it is " fun fuckin".  "
hahaha thank you!! That made me giggle
Again, thanks for your reassuring words guys. Guess we just had a bout of bad luck for our first meet. Will probably try again when the water settles
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If he just wasn't into you then he would have just blocked you.
The fact that he has deleted his profile means that something bigger has happened than just you guys.
Perhaps he was in a relationship already or is in one now.
Don't let it bother you. There are plenty more single guys in the sea. "
Agreed...if he's left the site completely then to me there is something in 'real life' that demands his attention more. Or he tried swinging, enjoyed the experience, but realised it wasn't for him. When he said he wanted to meet again he may have meant it at that moment but swinging isn't for everyone |
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Sorry, but I don't understand your problem. You had fun, he had fun, he doesn't want to meet you again, he's left the site so it wasn't you he changed his mind about this, who knows!
You have each other. Perhaps change your approach: look at each meet as a potential one off, if it leads to future meets, fine, if not you've still had a good time with no expectations. |
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"Your meet sounds like fun for all parties and we don't understand what you're upset about. Not everyone wants to meet again.
For example, we have regular friends we like to meet. But we also meet people for one off fun. It's all enjoyable and we aren't offended if people don't want to meet us again.
Move on. Meet others. Have fun "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Looks like something happened in his life (wife found out etc.), it will not be you. His loss, just chalk it up to experience, enjoy what you had and move on the next lucky fella. I bet there is a queue.  |
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Don't let it put you off. He will have had his reasons and in pretty sure they won't be any bearing on your meet.
We had a single guy round and we haven't spoken since. No verifications were left either. He said if we wanted to see him again then get in touch but we haven't and neither has he. Its just part and parcel of the swinging world.
Go have fun!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks everyone for your reassuring words. I just wish he would have told us straight, rather than saying he would like another meet, then not talking to us lol.
X"
Its frustrating !!! But as he deleted his profile and did not just block you, I would put money on it that it was GUILT !!!! Was it his first meet? ...... I have a friend who is like that ! He comes and goes !!! You will probably get a message from him in a few months time ! When his horny and has got over it !!! And if you meet him again he will probably do exactly the same !! Happy swinging don't let it put you off and try not to over think it x |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"don't get disheartened for some it's completely NSA, so you could have have built up a bit of rapport before on KIK, had a fabulous time when you got together & then that's were it ends.
some people aren't good at saying that they don't want to meet so it's easier to block.
Try to just have another fun meet with someone else. People on here don't always behave how you expect them too, and it's not a reflexion on you x
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey guys,
We had our first meet with a guy on Wednesday. Started off as a social and then headed back to ours. There was no pressure or anything in the pub, we got along great, had a bit of a make-out and asked if he wanted to come to ours, to which he jumped at the chance. We felt it was awesome and We had alot of fun. He even said Mrs was the best head he had ever received. He seemed genuinely happy. Made him cum, we chatted for a bit and he left happy.
We have tried talking to him since as he said he would be like another meet with us. But he has deleted his profile and wont talk to us on kik
Now I dont know if this is us, or if there are genuinely people like that on here. It has really disheartened the Mrs and put her off meeting again
And advice or words of wisdom are welcome.
Thanks Guys
Unfortunately some guys are just here for the numbers & want to have sex with a many people as possible, you'll soon learn to suss them out x
x "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like the line from Fight Club about Single-Serving Friends. Thats maybe how you should approach this. You all had fun at the time but he moved on, for whatever reason. If you keep in contact with people, result. If not, just relish the fun you had and look for the next helping. A wiser person than I said "hold it lightly" about relationships with fellow Fabbers. Enjoy what you get when you get it. |
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"His wife found out? He changed his mind? He lied? He's ashamed? He doesn't want to do it anymore?
Who knows, but you'll tie yourself up in knots trying to work it out, just move on..."
What the gentleman said above. Certainly nothing do to with you. We have been in the middle of a meet before and had a guys wife call us and he has had to leave. Just think, well you had a good night, nothing was stolen, down to experience and move on. We try to play with people not cheating on their partners, but ultimately you can never really tell. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a contradiction: while it is personal, don't take it personally. It is a blow to have it on your first meet, but there are many meets to come, if you choose it. Lots to enjoy, hope you both experience it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't worry about it tbh. We have had a good meet before with people and said we would like to meet again but then decided we don't want to. Not because they done anything wrong or because we didn't have fun it's just that we decided we would prefer to meet other new people. Don't let it knock you or put you off other meets. I'm sure you would have fun and enjoy another meet and wonder why you where bothered.
There could be numerous reasons why there is no contact. I would just think of it as a fun experience and to take things as they are at the time and not look to the future.
Good luck I'm sure you you will get over it. |
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Guys, as was said above, dont take it personally and dont let it get you down. This happens quite often with single guys (not all). They usually have something to hide.
Swinging is a great lifestyle and you will have lots of fun if you stick with it. Put it down to experience and get out there and meet new fab swingers.
Happy swinging. xx |
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Could of been on his bucket list amd mow he has done it is back to the reality of his real world. Or simply just decided as much as he liked it it just isn't for him.
Don't not do it again though because of that. You could miss out on someone even better
Happy Swinging |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having the same problem as op we meet socially and have spoke briefly after but now nothing have asked to meet again but had no reply think we scared them off |
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