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ladies what would yous do?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So had my fb round we've been seeing each other for about a month any chance we've had we've been together, nothing had changed last night, he said he'd message when he got home, which every time he has previously as its an ease on my mind and I know he got home safe, but I waited and got no messages, he would usually message the morning after as well for a spot of morning banter, which this morning im missing. He admitted last night he went soft on another meet he had and was saying he was having problems staying hard.. but when we were at it he had no problems and lasted a good two hours. What would you lot think from this? Am I over thinking it? Dont want to lose him as a friend as I can tell him anything and vise versa for him. And yes he knows its just no strings casual fun and that im on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you are that close then ask him ......
But once you start thinking too much into things when it's supposed to be just sex perhaps you need to also have a chat with yourself |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Im just a smidge worried, messaged him but hes not replied, il be freaking out about nothing. Didnt think he'd just start ignoring/blanking me after our talk last night. Neither of us want more than a bit of fun, we spoke about it and its for the best, I dont believe im able to be in love with him or anyone else tbh, perhaps lust but then Its different. Guess cause hes a close friend I just cant help but worry. They say women are awkward! Haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Not yet but I decided il wait and see if I do get a reply. Plenty of guys out there would kill to be in his shoes - thats not meant in an egotistical way iv had guys tell me that they would kill to be in his shoes so il see. |
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"Did he reply yet? If he wants to move on fair enough but I think it's pretty crappy to just disappear without letting you know. "
Why do men do that, it is one behaviour I just do not understand, I'd love to hear the rationale. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did he reply yet? If he wants to move on fair enough but I think it's pretty crappy to just disappear without letting you know.
Why do men do that, it is one behaviour I just do not understand, I'd love to hear the rationale."
I'm not a man hater or anything..but I've given up trying to make sense of most things they do  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did he reply yet? If he wants to move on fair enough but I think it's pretty crappy to just disappear without letting you know.
Why do men do that, it is one behaviour I just do not understand, I'd love to hear the rationale."
No balls. Too scared to be honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did he reply yet? If he wants to move on fair enough but I think it's pretty crappy to just disappear without letting you know.
Why do men do that, it is one behaviour I just do not understand, I'd love to hear the rationale.
No balls. Too scared to be honest."
This ^^ is what I'm thinking x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did he reply yet? If he wants to move on fair enough but I think it's pretty crappy to just disappear without letting you know.
Why do men do that, it is one behaviour I just do not understand, I'd love to hear the rationale.
I'm not a man hater or anything..but I've given up trying to make sense of most things they do "
Women do it too??? |
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"Did he reply yet? If he wants to move on fair enough but I think it's pretty crappy to just disappear without letting you know.
Why do men do that, it is one behaviour I just do not understand, I'd love to hear the rationale.
No balls. Too scared to be honest.
This ^^ is what I'm thinking x"
It is very cowardly but I've known strong willed, otherwise decent men do it. You'd think a text would be easier on their conscience. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yep given up on him haha. As I said earlier theres plenty of guys that would kill to have been in his position :D just sucks that he didnt even have the decency to let me know he was okay |
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"Yep given up on him haha. As I said earlier theres plenty of guys that would kill to have been in his position :D just sucks that he didnt even have the decency to let me know he was okay "
Sad though isn't it. It leaves me so disappointed and deflated when stuff like that happens, especially when it's people I thought highly of - I want them to somehow turn out to be decent guys after all, not a lesser man. |
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Hang on. He had a long chat with you about how he can't get hard for another woman. And then you told him you would only be friends.
Perhaps this was his way of telling you he wanted more. If you said you didn't - then this may be his way of dealing with it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hang on. He had a long chat with you about how he can't get hard for another woman. And then you told him you would only be friends.
Perhaps this was his way of telling you he wanted more. If you said you didn't - then this may be his way of dealing with it. "
when we first started talking we spoke about what we wanted and we agreed on no strings fun and it was out of the blue he told me about his problem, I was kinda glad he was opening up to me but just gutted now that I put all my time and effort into him when it was a waste of time and energy. I like being able to have a fb for a good while not for a month, he was amazing in bed and one of my best which is hard to come across for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hang on. He had a long chat with you about how he can't get hard for another woman. And then you told him you would only be friends.
Perhaps this was his way of telling you he wanted more. If you said you didn't - then this may be his way of dealing with it.
when we first started talking we spoke about what we wanted and we agreed on no strings fun and it was out of the blue he told me about his problem, I was kinda glad he was opening up to me but just gutted now that I put all my time and effort into him when it was a waste of time and energy. I like being able to have a fb for a good while not for a month, he was amazing in bed and one of my best which is hard to come across for me. "
If it was good it wasn't a waste was it
Perhaps that attitude is the problem
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having an FB can really mess with your emotions. It can start with the best of intentions as only sex, but the more you see of each other the more you start to connect. Jealousy can start to creep in but you hide it or deny it to yourself as you know it is only meant to be sex. I think you reach a point with FB's where you have to cut loose from them or you have to agree to make some sort of commitment to them.
I have had to make that decision and fortunately we have been married for 10 years.
Maybe he wants more than you can offer and this his way of dealing with it.Granted it is crap that he has not made contact, but maybe he feels to emotional to make that connection to him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did he reply yet? If he wants to move on fair enough but I think it's pretty crappy to just disappear without letting you know.
Why do men do that, it is one behaviour I just do not understand, I'd love to hear the rationale.
I'm not a man hater or anything..but I've given up trying to make sense of most things they do
Women do it too??? "
Yeah I can't argue with that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having an FB can really mess with your emotions. It can start with the best of intentions as only sex, but the more you see of each other the more you start to connect. Jealousy can start to creep in but you hide it or deny it to yourself as you know it is only meant to be sex. I think you reach a point with FB's where you have to cut loose from them or you have to agree to make some sort of commitment to them.
I have had to make that decision and fortunately we have been married for 10 years.
Maybe he wants more than you can offer and this his way of dealing with it.Granted it is crap that he has not made contact, but maybe he feels to emotional to make that connection to him."
This is so true..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's no strings, perhaps he is busy shagging someone, can't expect him to jump through your hoops when quite clearly he has asked for more and been turned down.
Chill no strings means he can do as he pleases as much as you can.
Just playing devils advocate and all that! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If he hadnt said 'il text you when I get home' I wouldnt have been bothered but he did all it takes is two mins to letme know hes not been an idiot driving and crashed. He can go and shag his way around fab for all I care, thought a couple of the things we did and was said was just between us, he kept saying its our little secret when certain things were done like he was ashamed of them and when he opened up I thought he actually trusts me. Clearly I was wrong.
I told him previously of me getting hurt from falling in love with the wrong guy so he knew my reasons for only wanting no strings.
Im just gonna leave it and see if he does message me again. Cause hes been online and hes been posting pics so his phones not lost/broken. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been in a fb relationship you are both free to do as you please, once things quieten down it maybe time to give each otger some space, he might thibk things are getting too heavy and stepping back a little?
Give him space or move on.
Hope you are ok though x
Good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Been in a fb relationship you are both free to do as you please, once things quieten down it maybe time to give each otger some space, he might thibk things are getting too heavy and stepping back a little?
Give him space or move on.
Hope you are ok though x
Good luck x "
thats what im doing, not messaged him and just gonna get on with it  thanks am alright I spose have to just get on with it, the search goes on for someone thats able to please me as much as he did haha. Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If he hadnt said 'il text you when I get home' I wouldnt have been bothered but he did all it takes is two mins to letme know hes not been an idiot driving and crashed. He can go and shag his way around fab for all I care, thought a couple of the things we did and was said was just between us, he kept saying its our little secret when certain things were done like he was ashamed of them and when he opened up I thought he actually trusts me. Clearly I was wrong.
I told him previously of me getting hurt from falling in love with the wrong guy so he knew my reasons for only wanting no strings.
Im just gonna leave it and see if he does message me again. Cause hes been online and hes been posting pics so his phones not lost/broken. "
Well the fact his been online and posting pics and didn't have the decency to respond to you. I wouldn't give him anymore time. Manners cost nothing. I do feel for you, because as much as your not ready for a commitment ... You obviously felt a bond between you.
Can I ask. Is he attached?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If he hadnt said 'il text you when I get home' I wouldnt have been bothered but he did all it takes is two mins to letme know hes not been an idiot driving and crashed. He can go and shag his way around fab for all I care, thought a couple of the things we did and was said was just between us, he kept saying its our little secret when certain things were done like he was ashamed of them and when he opened up I thought he actually trusts me. Clearly I was wrong.
I told him previously of me getting hurt from falling in love with the wrong guy so he knew my reasons for only wanting no strings.
Im just gonna leave it and see if he does message me again. Cause hes been online and hes been posting pics so his phones not lost/broken.
Well the fact his been online and posting pics and didn't have the decency to respond to you. I wouldn't give him anymore time. Manners cost nothing. I do feel for you, because as much as your not ready for a commitment ... You obviously felt a bond between you.
Can I ask. Is he attached?
Nah hes single and yeaah I did feel an attachment but I would go as far and say it was anything more than good friends, he wont be getting anymore of my time x
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If he hadnt said 'il text you when I get home' I wouldnt have been bothered but he did all it takes is two mins to letme know hes not been an idiot driving and crashed. He can go and shag his way around fab for all I care, thought a couple of the things we did and was said was just between us, he kept saying its our little secret when certain things were done like he was ashamed of them and when he opened up I thought he actually trusts me. Clearly I was wrong.
I told him previously of me getting hurt from falling in love with the wrong guy so he knew my reasons for only wanting no strings.
Im just gonna leave it and see if he does message me again. Cause hes been online and hes been posting pics so his phones not lost/broken.
Well the fact his been online and posting pics and didn't have the decency to respond to you. I wouldn't give him anymore time. Manners cost nothing. I do feel for you, because as much as your not ready for a commitment ... You obviously felt a bond between you.
Can I ask. Is he attached?
Nah hes single and yeaah I did feel an attachment but I would go as far and say it was anything more than good friends, he wont be getting anymore of my time x
"
Hope he's not read any of this! Wouldn't want him to get any satisfaction that he's got to you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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May e he saw this thread and is currently pissed off that he opened up to you about a very private and personal matter and you decided to tell.the.entire site about it a few hours later?
Call him if your that concerned rather than texting at least you'll know it's not just phone.died |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He doesnt use the forums says their boring (hes not as social as the rest of us) and iv not used any names so I could be on about anyone. As for the phoning thing I cant phone cause iv got a phobia about it. My palms sweat and I get a headache panicking about having to phone folk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ah so him being unlikely to find out makes it perfectly ok.for you to violate his trust 
Tbh sounds like he's the one who should be lamenting "investing" in you not the other way round.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think she's violated his trust, there's no names involved, age, race, personal details.
It could be anyone. She was just sharing her concern and confusion with the matter.
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't think she's violated his trust, there's no names involved, age, race, personal details.
It could be anyone. She was just sharing her concern and confusion with the matter.
"
I only wanted other ladies opinions on the matter to help me with what I was going to do. I got the help - I decided. You cant tell who my fb is as theres no information on my profile about him, no verifications from him, no names, ages, race or otherwise. I just wanted advice I never violated any privacy. Heaps of guys have problems getting/staying hard. |
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"Having an FB can really mess with your emotions. It can start with the best of intentions as only sex, but the more you see of each other the more you start to connect. Jealousy can start to creep in but you hide it or deny it to yourself as you know it is only meant to be sex. I think you reach a point with FB's where you have to cut loose from them or you have to agree to make some sort of commitment to them.
I have had to make that decision and fortunately we have been married for 10 years.
Maybe he wants more than you can offer and this his way of dealing with it.Granted it is crap that he has not made contact, but maybe he feels to emotional to make that connection to him."
Which actually makes it even more difficult to deal with because you're not sure whether to file him under 'callous bastard' or 'tormented soul'!!
I've had that happen at least once with someone who was clearly jealous, but I would've been willing to see him alone if he'd talked to me. Sad.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly. If he has time to be on 'Fab' but does not have the decency to reply to a text then he is not the person you thought. Friends don't do that to each other on here or in the real world whether your fucking them or not. Sorry to be harsh as you seemed to be close but just leave him to his own devices. I read something the other day that seems quite appropriate here.
"Be careful when trying to to fix a broken person. You may cut yourself on their shattered pieces" |
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"Honestly. If he has time to be on 'Fab' but does not have the decency to reply to a text then he is not the person you thought. Friends don't do that to each other on here or in the real world whether your fucking them or not. Sorry to be harsh as you seemed to be close but just leave him to his own devices. I read something the other day that seems quite appropriate here.
"Be careful when trying to to fix a broken person. You may cut yourself on their shattered pieces""
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"Honestly. If he has time to be on 'Fab' but does not have the decency to reply to a text then he is not the person you thought. Friends don't do that to each other on here or in the real world whether your fucking them or not. Sorry to be harsh as you seemed to be close but just leave him to his own devices. I read something the other day that seems quite appropriate here.
"Be careful when trying to to fix a broken person. You may cut yourself on their shattered pieces""
Actually my quote of the day is quite appropriate:
"I'm sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect.” J.D. Salinger" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been in a fb relationship you are both free to do as you please, once things quieten down it maybe time to give each otger some space, he might thibk things are getting too heavy and stepping back a little?
Give him space or move on.
Hope you are ok though x
Good luck x
thats what im doing, not messaged him and just gonna get on with it thanks am alright I spose have to just get on with it, the search goes on for someone thats able to please me as much as he did haha. Thank you x"
Good for you being able to move on. Some people find a friend but are unsure whether to meet others. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you for this ladies im glad im not being harsh about it and that I got others opinions on it. Wont allow it to happen again for just any dick haha. I like the quote of the day! |
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