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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Looking for some sensible advice. My regular play partner is very Dom and when we play he's in charge even if he says I'm in charge he's always got the control. Thing is he's wanting to try switching which in my eyes would be so hot. So here is where I need the advice, how do we start? I'm a natural sub and he is a natural dom so we are both out our comfort zones. Is there a particular scene that would be good to start with?
LA  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You could try taking the sex out of it and just set a time when you'll issue orders for things you want him to do. Potentially, this is a good way of finding out if it's hot or not.
Then there's always a little light bondage, tied to the bed for example, where he physically has no choice but to submit. If he complains - gag him.  He's then at your whim and it's up to you how wicked you want to be.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You could try taking the sex out of it and just set a time when you'll issue orders for things you want him to do. Potentially, this is a good way of finding out if it's hot or not.
Then there's always a little light bondage, tied to the bed for example, where he physically has no choice but to submit. If he complains - gag him. He's then at your whim and it's up to you how wicked you want to be.
"
Haha the gag is something I hadn't thought of. He has a fantasy which involves a complete trust in me so maybe starting of slowly is a good idea, thanks |
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Start by just taking control. Make him stand still, even if you touch ot tease him. Make him undress whilst you watch him fully dressed. Slowly reduce his control, blindfold him, perhaps lead him to another room and then leave him stood there, the silence and forced inactivity will drive him nuts.
Do NOT rush him or spring big surprises on him. He is used to being in control, he is in a strange and vulnerable space. Show him he can trust you, relax in to your control. Leave yourself time to go slow and build it up in small steps |
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you probably need to find out in what way he imagines being sub and play on that. give him a note pad and tell him to write down his fantasys around being sub. He has to be willing or you could try and break him  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have him blindfolded as well as the gag.
Make him kneel for you and put a collar on him.
Then tie him up and have your way with him. He will be begging to be your sub after that
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you all. He is very willing, he approached me about it. I don't want to scare him off hence why I'm asking for advice. I'm aware he will like different things to what I do and I know him giving up control is a big thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Write a list of some things he might/might not like and get him to rate them on a score of 1 - 5. That way it will still be a surprise for him which ones you choose but you can be a little more secure that he'll enjoy it. And try texting him before you get there with how you expect him to behave and therefore start the switch beforehand. It'll help get both of you in the right space. Or practice being dom on someone else first as a threesome. Then again, I've always been a sub so I might be talking out of my arse! Let us know how it goes, I'm intrigued as to the idea of switching although I enjoy being a fuck-toy far too much to actually want to do it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Write a list of some things he might/might not like and get him to rate them on a score of 1 - 5. That way it will still be a surprise for him which ones you choose but you can be a little more secure that he'll enjoy it. And try texting him before you get there with how you expect him to behave and therefore start the switch beforehand. It'll help get both of you in the right space. Or practice being dom on someone else first as a threesome. Then again, I've always been a sub so I might be talking out of my arse! Let us know how it goes, I'm intrigued as to the idea of switching although I enjoy being a fuck-toy far too much to actually want to do it."
Thank you for the advice. I've never thought about properly switching with him but he has a very hot fantasy he wants to play out so I'm wanting to start building the trust so we can make it a reality in the future |
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"Write a list of some things he might/might not like and get him to rate them on a score of 1 - 5. That way it will still be a surprise for him which ones you choose but you can be a little more secure that he'll enjoy it. And try texting him before you get there with how you expect him to behave and therefore start the switch beforehand. It'll help get both of you in the right space. Or practice being dom on someone else first as a threesome. Then again, I've always been a sub so I might be talking out of my arse! Let us know how it goes, I'm intrigued as to the idea of switching although I enjoy being a fuck-toy far too much to actually want to do it.
Thank you for the advice. I've never thought about properly switching with him but he has a very hot fantasy he wants to play out so I'm wanting to start building the trust so we can make it a reality in the future "
if that fantasy includes me can you give me 24 hours notice please  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So we had a go at switching last night, we both loved it to begin with. I had him stripped, hands tied behind his back and I slowly started to strip and tease. This was the first time we had done it so was all VERY tame....I rubbed myself on him till I came several times which drove him wild but that's kinda where it all went pear shaped. After that I just couldn't take it anymore and needed touched so untied him, he behaved to begin with and only touched me when told but then it became clear we both needed him to take what he wanted and I gave in after some play fighting.....it was hot but we are both not meant for switching....we'll not together anyway.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You could try taking the sex out of it and just set a time when you'll issue orders for things you want him to do. Potentially, this is a good way of finding out if it's hot or not.
Then there's always a little light bondage, tied to the bed for example, where he physically has no choice but to submit. If he complains - gag him. He's then at your whim and it's up to
you how wicked you want to be.
"
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