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Help after a bad meet
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I had a bad meet, I was really nervous and struggle to keep it up. It's really knocked my confidence and ever since I've completely lost my sex drive, has anyone ever had anything similar and could offer some advice ? This is really embarrassing so no offensive remarks please  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We all loose our mojo at some time or other for a host of different reasons, I'm sure you'll find yours again, we're all good at beating ourselves up about stuff, like others have said don't put yourself under so much pressure and the fun will return I'm sure, good luck with it  xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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maybe that person wasn't right for you & that's why it happened. take the pressure off by having a few social meets, see if you click with someone 1st.
nothing like a bit of sexual tension to help the situation along nicely!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we all go through experiences,
good and bad.
count this as your bad experience.
if this is a one time experience,don't worry about it.
been there done it.
cracked on with the next meeting.
some times when your with a person and it don't click, the body tells you..
don't worry about it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a bad meet, I was really nervous and struggle to keep it up. It's really knocked my confidence and ever since I've completely lost my sex drive, has anyone ever had anything similar and could offer some advice ? This is really embarrassing so no offensive remarks please "
Hard to offer advice without knowing a but more about why it was so bad ?
Was it with a guy , a couple or a woman ?
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If you're needing sexual interaction with others, then perhaps explore a club, where you could be more of a spectator than someone who's active. Otherwise, enjoy the relaxed environment.
We're often our own worst enemies, and a lot of people who swing don't have mates they can chat to about downsides etc - so it's good that you've chatted on here, if this applies. You need to take the pressure off of yourself. See if you can spend time with swingers that you know, or have good rapport with, less for the sex and more for the moral support.
If there's a social near to you soon, see if you can go there too. Sometimes being around the right sort of people allows us to put negative things into a different context, and behind us.
Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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no matter how 'hot' someone is..if U dont feel it...it might just not happen
If the person doesnt mind, and hasnt explicitly asked for ur cock to be hard on request..use the other talents u SHOULD have...
I find kissing,fingering,licking,being sucked off...will always help my hardon
I wont enjoy it if I feel my being there is more to satisfy the male half(if its a couple u met), I cannot stand being directed
U havent been clear what type of meet it was yet tho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I, the male of a couple, have been there! It can definitely wreck your confidence, and hearing others brag about how great it always goes for them certainly does not help matters.
Long story short, once, we had a Soft Swap with a couple, and I was by far, the most nervous out of all of us. Needless to say, I did quite well with my oral skills, which led the lady to 3 orgasms, but later, I beat the hell out of myself for not being able to magically grow rock hard. Also, being watched the first time did not go very well. Performance anxiety can be a bitch!
My wife has repeatedly reminded me that I can fuck like a monster when we do it, so there's physically nothing wrong. The lesson learned, that being totally relaxed, and clicking with the other person is 100% key to success. Some people are ready to go in an instant, but we aren't all the same.
-JD |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I, the male of a couple, have been there! It can definitely wreck your confidence, and hearing others brag about how great it always goes for them certainly does not help matters.
Long story short, once, we had a Soft Swap with a couple, and I was by far, the most nervous out of all of us. Needless to say, I did quite well with my oral skills, which led the lady to 3 orgasms, but later, I beat the hell out of myself for not being able to magically grow rock hard. Also, being watched the first time did not go very well. Performance anxiety can be a bitch!
My wife has repeatedly reminded me that I can fuck like a monster when we do it, so there's physically nothing wrong. The lesson learned, that being totally relaxed, and clicking with the other person is 100% key to success. Some people are ready to go in an instant, but we aren't all the same.
-JD"
well as the male half of a couple..I hope that also makes u aware, us males sometimes need a little bit more..according to some we should be rock hard and ready to go on command...I never seen rock hard cocks and squirting pussies in the swinging rule book when I first started on the scene...and those that prefer it?-good for them, I like to have a laugh then fun...and maybe even then monster sex! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well as the male half of a couple..I hope that also makes u aware, us males sometimes need a little bit more..according to some we should be rock hard and ready to go on command...I never seen rock hard cocks and squirting pussies in the swinging rule book when I first started on the scene...and those that prefer it?-good for them, I like to have a laugh then fun...and maybe even then monster sex!"
 Wow. I wish that you had wrote a book about Swinging, and I wish that I had read it before I got started! LOL!
-JD |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well as the male half of a couple..I hope that also makes u aware, us males sometimes need a little bit more..according to some we should be rock hard and ready to go on command...I never seen rock hard cocks and squirting pussies in the swinging rule book when I first started on the scene...and those that prefer it?-good for them, I like to have a laugh then fun...and maybe even then monster sex!
Wow. I wish that you had wrote a book about Swinging, and I wish that I had read it before I got started! LOL!
-JD"
I think u've done ok..ur a couple now...and I'm single...tho ur Mrs keeps sending me secret messages to shag her...shhh she hates it when I publicly announce this...and my mod forum pals always delete her insistent requests ffs! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're needing sexual interaction with others, then perhaps explore a club, where you could be more of a spectator than someone who's active. Otherwise, enjoy the relaxed environment.
We're often our own worst enemies, and a lot of people who swing don't have mates they can chat to about downsides etc - so it's good that you've chatted on here, if this applies. You need to take the pressure off of yourself. See if you can spend time with swingers that you know, or have good rapport with, less for the sex and more for the moral support.
If there's a social near to you soon, see if you can go there too. Sometimes being around the right sort of people allows us to put negative things into a different context, and behind us.
Good luck!"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think u've done ok..ur a couple now...and I'm single...tho ur Mrs keeps sending me secret messages to shag her...shhh she hates it when I publicly announce this...and my mod forum pals always delete her insistent requests ffs!"
Jlynn just busted out laughing when I read that! She said she cannot believe you blew her secret. Her mild infatuation with you is now over!!! LOL! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think u've done ok..ur a couple now...and I'm single...tho ur Mrs keeps sending me secret messages to shag her...shhh she hates it when I publicly announce this...and my mod forum pals always delete her insistent requests ffs!
Jlynn just busted out laughing when I read that! She said she cannot believe you blew her secret. Her mild infatuation with you is now over!!! LOL! "
thats not all she blew...shhhhhh...she has fuckin tasty lips too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think u've done ok..ur a couple now...and I'm single...tho ur Mrs keeps sending me secret messages to shag her...shhh she hates it when I publicly announce this...and my mod forum pals always delete her insistent requests ffs!
Jlynn just busted out laughing when I read that! She said she cannot believe you blew her secret. Her mild infatuation with you is now over!!! LOL!
thats not all she blew...shhhhhh...she has fuckin tasty lips too"
Haha...Damn maybe you have had her! She said she was away on business!! 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a bad meet, I was really nervous and struggle to keep it up. It's really knocked my confidence and ever since I've completely lost my sex drive, has anyone ever had anything similar and could offer some advice ? This is really embarrassing so no offensive remarks please "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had a bad meet, I was really nervous and struggle to keep it up. It's really knocked my confidence and ever since I've completely lost my sex drive, has anyone ever had anything similar and could offer some advice ? This is really embarrassing so no offensive remarks please "
I've been there and know what it's like, no problem at home but on meets and in clubs I struggle or not a twitch I know it's all in my mind as I'm consuce of others watching or looking, I've been in full flow looked up and seen people watching us and men wanking as they watch you'd think as I'm having the sex it wouldn't be a problem but as soon as I look up and see them I loose it and it's game over. evan private rooms in a club can be a struggle but over time it has got better and I'm learning to block things out In my head but I'd also be interested if anyone has a quick fix other then pills |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do feel sorry for men sometimes. 'Give me a hard cock!! And give it me now (snaps fingers)! This is not the mentality of all but I think we do put pressure on ourselves unnecessarily (both men and women). We all get nervous sometimes. It's just easier for women to hide it (now put that hard cock away! -jeez cant win) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"no matter how 'hot' someone is..if U dont feel it...it might just not happen
If the person doesnt mind, and hasnt explicitly asked for ur cock to be hard on request..use the other talents u SHOULD have...
I find kissing,fingering,licking,being sucked off...will always help my hardon
I wont enjoy it if I feel my being there is more to satisfy the male half(if its a couple u met), I cannot stand being directed
U havent been clear what type of meet it was yet tho"
Totally agree. I am there to go with the flow and be of equal worth/value. I like to play but wont be someones plaything.....  |
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