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winks
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why do some people not appreciate a wink?????
They must surely be accepted as a non offensive notification of interest. ... that is how and why I use them....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I look at winks and read profiles of those im interested in and if they are of further interest il either wink them back or message them. A lot of guy think a wink qualifies as a message and invites me to be friends without a messgae which bothers me and ends in blocks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like them on the whole and have met a few people that have winked at me for initial contact although I winked at someone recently who winked back, I messaged them and they deleted my message without reply so sometimes they're confusing. |
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I thought they were just a way of people showing appreciation for a profile 
I don't tend to wink too much but have received a few, maybe I should check them out, I may have missed out on something special! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do some people not appreciate a wink?????
They must surely be accepted as a non offensive notification of interest. ... that is how and why I use them.... "
Theyre a great way of saying "Here I am what do you think"
If the sender appreciates they may not get an aknowledgement then alls well and good. We do look at winks and, if we're interested or may be at a later date we pop them on our hotlist for a later message. We usually ignore most though as they quite often havent been arsed reading our profile.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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think sometimes winking can help to create the initial interest. You could then follow that up with a mail but you would be better to send this when they are on line and the ladies do suffer with 1001 emails so yours could get stuck under the pile never to be seen again. |
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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago
Retirement Village |
"I look at winks and read profiles of those im interested in and if they are of further interest il either wink them back or message them. A lot of guy think a wink qualifies as a message and invites me to be friends without a messgae which bothers me and ends in blocks. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's nothing wrong with winks.
It's no different than smiling at someone you fancy in a bar or club. It's no verbal contact to see if the other person is interested. If they are, brilliant. If not, you move on.
Of course, each to their own but don't see why people get to uptight about them. Also, considering winks as lazy is laughable. It's a sign of interest. But most people prefer messages because it simply caters to their ego. A message designed just for them by someone keen to do their bidding for a night/day of action. But then whether they read it or not is another story. Which, funnily enough, then makes the message no more effective than a wink because they've seen it...and ignored it!
So unless that person likes what they see, it really doesn't matter what you do! Your best bet is to mix it up. It might not be as effective but at least you'll stay sane!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Considering how many people complain about messages not getting a reply, I think using winks is quite shortsighted, particularly for single men. "
It is the only way of letting someone know you have viewed their profile, if you are a free member. so a useful tool, in the selection process. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can't stand winks and we plainly say so.
We think if you do not have the intelligence to string together a decent sentence, we definitely won't want to talk to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you want to let someone know you have an interest why not just say hi?
And seeing that we clearly say we don't like winks in our profile, surely it is rude to send one? You would be surprised how many people still do!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you want to let someone know you have an interest why not just say hi?
And seeing that we clearly say we don't like winks in our profile, surely it is rude to send one? You would be surprised how many people still do!!"
We all know very few people read profiles, I had a message from a married guy (which I state on my profile I don't meet) and on his profile text is a bit about reading his profile haha, the wonderful world of fab 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do some people not appreciate a wink?????
They must surely be accepted as a non offensive notification of interest. ... that is how and why I use them.... "
Because they would much rather you spend ages writing a message tailored specifically to them only for them to ignore because they weren't interested in you anyway.
I can't understand why people get so offended by them to be honest. I love winking...in fact I might do some now!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you want to let someone know you have an interest why not just say hi?
And seeing that we clearly say we don't like winks in our profile, surely it is rude to send one? You would be surprised how many people still do!!"
Quick question: Do you read all your messages?
It's fine if you don't like winks but but someone "lacks intelligence" if they do?
Of course, it's your opinion but that person who winked you could have a Masters in Physics with an awesome sense of humour.
Yes, this should come across in a message but it depends on if it gets read and that's no guarantee.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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C.L.Rogue.
Two things really;
It doesn't take a Master's Degree to read a profile and see that someone doesn't like winks and therefore do not send one. It just takes good manners and a little respect.
And secondly, what is the relevance of reading messages? although we DO read all our messages, we just cannot see what difference that makes about whether it is ok to go ahead and ignore someone's wishes and wink them whether they like it or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We think the debate stretches away from whether winks are acceptable or not.
Obviously they are acceptable to some and not to others.
The point is, if there are people who specifically say they don't like them, should you not respect their choices? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"C.L.Rogue.
Two things really;
It doesn't take a Master's Degree to read a profile and see that someone doesn't like winks and therefore do not send one. It just takes good manners and a little respect.
And secondly, what is the relevance of reading messages? although we DO read all our messages, we just cannot see what difference that makes about whether it is ok to go ahead and ignore someone's wishes and wink them whether they like it or not."
I've already highlighted that if you don't like winks, it's fine and I'm glad you read all your messages because the reality is that most don't.
But you can't make wild accusations about someone's character due to their method of contacting you. Yes, people should read your profile but you can't judge people and come to conclusions because you simply don't know enough.
But if it works for you, it works for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pretty much depends on the mood I'm in. I always read the profile and if it says "don't wink" I don't wink. Sometimes I wink and get a response, sometimes not. It is pretty galling tho, to put time and effort into a decent message and the recipient can't even be bothered to say "no thanks". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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C.L. Rogue.
There are no wild accusations here, just simple respect. If you contact people in a way they dislike, then surely that shows no manners or respect?
As far as we can see it, this site is not here for anyone to help themselves to what they fancy. Profiles are there as a way of both parties knowing if there is a mutual interest or not, and profiles are normally about what people like and what they don't like.
Surely as far as we are concerned, and anyone else for that matter, the only opinion that matters in our world is our own. Look up and down this thread. Plenty of others do not like winks.
If you are a respectable easy-going person, surely you would agree that people's choices should be respected not challenged?
If someone says they don't like winks, why not just respect their choices? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We think the debate stretches away from whether winks are acceptable or not.
Obviously they are acceptable to some and not to others.
The point is, if there are people who specifically say they don't like them, should you not respect their choices?"
Of course. But it's not lazy. It's simply a sign of attraction. You have a mass delete button so Fabs know what they're doing to this end.
Winks are perfectly acceptable...provided the person on the receiving end doesn't mind them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Aahh C.L.
We ARE in agreement!
Your last statement says it all.
'Winks are perfectly acceptable...provided the person on the receiving end doesn't mind them.'
As we state we do mind them, therefore they are not acceptable to us at all, and only rude people do things against people's wishes.
Glad we got there in the end. Like everything else in this world, each to there own, however manners and mutual respect should always be there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some like winks, some don't. I don't meet married men or smokers, clear on my profile but still I get lots of messages from both groups. Some read the profile and try their luck, others don't bother, its life on here, always has been and always will be. People are free to run their profile as they wish, I've had some good meets that started as a wink, most I delete as they're not for me, no great hassle clicking delete |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Aahh C.L.
We ARE in agreement!
Your last statement says it all.
'Winks are perfectly acceptable...provided the person on the receiving end doesn't mind them.'
As we state we do mind them, therefore they are not acceptable to us at all, and only rude people do things against people's wishes.
Glad we got there in the end. Like everything else in this world, each to there own, however manners and mutual respect should always be there."
Of course we agree!
I just didn't agree with your original statement. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"C.L.Rogue.
Two things really;
It doesn't take a Master's Degree to read a profile and see that someone doesn't like winks and therefore do not send one. It just takes good manners and a little respect.
And secondly, what is the relevance of reading messages? although we DO read all our messages, we just cannot see what difference that makes about whether it is ok to go ahead and ignore someone's wishes and wink them whether they like it or not."
Does it offend you if somebody smiles at you? It's a friendly jesture- take it as such or ignore it! Guess not everyone is friendly. Personally winks make my day. |
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"There's nothing wrong with winks.
It's no different than smiling at someone you fancy in a bar or club. It's no verbal contact to see if the other person is interested. If they are, brilliant. If not, you move on.
Of course, each to their own but don't see why people get to uptight about them. Also, considering winks as lazy is laughable. It's a sign of interest. But most people prefer messages because it simply caters to their ego. A message designed just for them by someone keen to do their bidding for a night/day of action. But then whether they read it or not is another story. Which, funnily enough, then makes the message no more effective than a wink because they've seen it...and ignored it!
So unless that person likes what they see, it really doesn't matter what you do! Your best bet is to mix it up. It might not be as effective but at least you'll stay sane!
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"C.L.Rogue.
Two things really;
It doesn't take a Master's Degree to read a profile and see that someone doesn't like winks and therefore do not send one. It just takes good manners and a little respect.
And secondly, what is the relevance of reading messages? although we DO read all our messages, we just cannot see what difference that makes about whether it is ok to go ahead and ignore someone's wishes and wink them whether they like it or not.
Does it offend you if somebody smiles at you? It's a friendly jesture- take it as such or ignore it! Guess not everyone is friendly. Personally winks make my day."
I don't get why you'd be offended either but each to their own I guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't expect anyone to get it, however we just expect people to respect it.
We are not in a crowded pub, we are on a website where people take time to compile clear profiles to say what they like and don't like.
If we don't like it, why do it?
If we didn't actually say, we would totally understand people not knowing. However we clearly say we don't like winks, so why not just leave us alone and move to the next couple?
Our problem is not to people who do it, good luck to you all, but to people who bother us with something we say we do not like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's nothing wrong with winks.
It's no different than smiling at someone you fancy in a bar or club. It's no verbal contact to see if the other person is interested. If they are, brilliant. If not, you move on.
Of course, each to their own but don't see why people get to uptight about them. Also, considering winks as lazy is laughable. It's a sign of interest. But most people prefer messages because it simply caters to their ego. A message designed just for them by someone keen to do their bidding for a night/day of action. But then whether they read it or not is another story. Which, funnily enough, then makes the message no more effective than a wink because they've seen it...and ignored it!
"
I don't have any issue with receiving winks and take them just as CL Rogue suggests. I do think tho that if someone sends me a wink to show interest and I reciprocate the onus is then on them to follow up with a message as they instigated contact.
Invariably these same guys wink again a few weeks later, and then again. If a guy is "interested" enough to wink several times surely its not unreasonable to expect him then to make the effort to message?
A wink is fine as a way of showing interest but it takes more effort to keep mine!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Considering how many people complain about messages not getting a reply, I think using winks is quite shortsighted, particularly for single men.
It is the only way of letting someone know you have viewed their profile, if you are a free member. so a useful tool, in the selection process."
Or you could send them a message... |
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"We don't expect anyone to get it, however we just expect people to respect it.
We are not in a crowded pub, we are on a website where people take time to compile clear profiles to say what they like and don't like.
If we don't like it, why do it?
If we didn't actually say, we would totally understand people not knowing. However we clearly say we don't like winks, so why not just leave us alone and move to the next couple?
Our problem is not to people who do it, good luck to you all, but to people who bother us with something we say we do not like."
i don't get why your making such a big deal of it just don't check your winks if it bothers you that much, i think most people on fab get some sort of unwanted contact personally i don't want contact from TV/TS (each to there own) but not for me i still get messages and winks i just ignore them and move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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_iggaman, we are making a point of it simply because we want to.
It may shame more people into stopping it, however when we DO get them, and people get upset with the rude reply they get, at least we have made our point clear.
Do you honestly think the best way to show your interest in someone is doing something that they have clearly said they don't like? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think winks are great. A very natural way of showing either appreciation or interest. Yes they get a mixed reception, the reasons for which are mentioned above. However if used in a discerning way they are a gentle way of introducing yourself. My response to receiving a wink is always either a message or a wink back, depending on what move I want to make next or how much time I have to respond. |
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"_iggaman, we are making a point of it simply because we want to.
It may shame more people into stopping it, however when we DO get them, and people get upset with the rude reply they get, at least we have made our point clear.
Do you honestly think the best way to show your interest in someone is doing something that they have clearly said they don't like?"
ok fair enough make point of it as much as you like
i never said it was ok or right i just said to ignore it and move on this is a swingers site you will come accross dickheads and timewasters just how it goes unfortunately life is too short to waste time on them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"_iggaman, we are making a point of it simply because we want to.
It may shame more people into stopping it, however when we DO get them, and people get upset with the rude reply they get, at least we have made our point clear.
Do you honestly think the best way to show your interest in someone is doing something that they have clearly said they don't like?
ok fair enough make point of it as much as you like
i never said it was ok or right i just said to ignore it and move on this is a swingers site you will come accross dickheads and timewasters just how it goes unfortunately life is too short to waste time on them "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I look at winks and read profiles of those im interested in and if they are of further interest il either wink them back or message them. A lot of guy think a wink qualifies as a message and invites me to be friends without a messgae which bothers me and ends in blocks. "
That sounds fair enough to me!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"_iggaman, we are making a point of it simply because we want to.
It may shame more people into stopping it, however when we DO get them, and people get upset with the rude reply they get, at least we have made our point clear.
Do you honestly think the best way to show your interest in someone is doing something that they have clearly said they don't like?"
I love friendly.....happy go luck people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Considering how many people complain about messages not getting a reply, I think using winks is quite shortsighted, particularly for single men. "
Oh you couples |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why do some people not appreciate a wink?????
They must surely be accepted as a non offensive notification of interest. ... that is how and why I use them....
Theyre a great way of saying "Here I am what do you think"
If the sender appreciates they may not get an aknowledgement then alls well and good. We do look at winks and, if we're interested or may be at a later date we pop them on our hotlist for a later message. We usually ignore most though as they quite often havent been arsed reading our profile. "
Thats how I see them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"_iggaman, we are making a point of it simply because we want to.
It may shame more people into stopping it, however when we DO get them, and people get upset with the rude reply they get, at least we have made our point clear.
Do you honestly think the best way to show your interest in someone is doing something that they have clearly said they don't like?
I love friendly.....happy go luck people."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we don't mind winks nice to see who likes us we reply if we like them ignore if we don't simples,
we also send a few winks now and then ,
if winks are that bad and rude ect then why is this facility on this site to start with.
personal preference to use or not to use |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can't stand winks and we plainly say so.
We think if you do not have the intelligence to string together a decent sentence, we definitely won't want to talk to you."
Surely that is left for the messaging stage....
Wink = crawl
Message = walk
Meet = run
????????? |
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"It is all about respect for other's wishes, pure and simple.
Most people expect their profiles read _iggaman as you do.
Respect it is all we ask."
OK i get you but time to move on now 
good luck with that like i said before life is too short to waste time and with that i'm off to take my son karate  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some like winks, some don't. I don't meet married men or smokers, clear on my profile but still I get lots of messages from both groups. Some read the profile and try their luck, others don't bother, its life on here, always has been and always will be. People are free to run their profile as they wish, I've had some good meets that started as a wink, most I delete as they're not for me, no great hassle clicking delete "
I get winks from profiles and have met people that clearly state no singles.... so not all statements on profiles are actually true.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"happy to get winked by people that have read our profile. The problem ones are the friends request from people we have never heard off or spken to."
Friends request without contact is bang on but not this topic |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We don't expect anyone to get it, however we just expect people to respect it.
We are not in a crowded pub, we are on a website where people take time to compile clear profiles to say what they like and don't like.
If we don't like it, why do it?
If we didn't actually say, we would totally understand people not knowing. However we clearly say we don't like winks, so why not just leave us alone and move to the next couple?
Our problem is not to people who do it, good luck to you all, but to people who bother us with something we say we do not like."
What is there not to like about an innocent wink?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some like winks, some don't. I don't meet married men or smokers, clear on my profile but still I get lots of messages from both groups. Some read the profile and try their luck, others don't bother, its life on here, always has been and always will be. People are free to run their profile as they wish, I've had some good meets that started as a wink, most I delete as they're not for me, no great hassle clicking delete
I get winks from profiles and have met people that clearly state no singles.... so not all statements on profiles are actually true...."
True, but mine are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is all very well, some like them, some don't, others feel so strongly that they think they are rude, but I still can't fathom why people who think they are lazy rude and pointless bother to look at them at all?....I just don't get the problem. If you don't like them, don't look at them. Problem solved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Question is Scarlet, if you know someone doesn't like them, isn't just sending them a little rude or a bit of a piss take?
Do we not live in a world where decent people respect other people's wishes whether it is a swinger's site or not, or whether we agree with it or not?
From some of the answers on here, it seems not! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's nothing wrong with winks.
It's no different than smiling at someone you fancy in a bar or club. It's no verbal contact to see if the other person is interested. If they are, brilliant. If not, you move on.
Of course, each to their own but don't see why people get to uptight about them. Also, considering winks as lazy is laughable. It's a sign of interest. But most people prefer messages because it simply caters to their ego. A message designed just for them by someone keen to do their bidding for a night/day of action. But then whether they read it or not is another story. Which, funnily enough, then makes the message no more effective than a wink because they've seen it...and ignored it!
I don't have any issue with receiving winks and take them just as CL Rogue suggests. I do think tho that if someone sends me a wink to show interest and I reciprocate the onus is then on them to follow up with a message as they instigated contact.
Invariably these same guys wink again a few weeks later, and then again. If a guy is "interested" enough to wink several times surely its not unreasonable to expect him then to make the effort to message?
A wink is fine as a way of showing interest but it takes more effort to keep mine!! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"_iggaman, we are making a point of it simply because we want to.
It may shame more people into stopping it, however when we DO get them, and people get upset with the rude reply they get, at least we have made our point clear.
Do you honestly think the best way to show your interest in someone is doing something that they have clearly said they don't like?"
I don't get why you would write a message explaining how much you dislike something. Especially as you won't be speaking to that person again. That's not really making a point. That's something else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Problem is in the internet everyone's maturity level and tolerance level gets lower and lower and lower and lower no one can JUST GET THE FUCK OVER IT AND MOVE ON!!!!!"
Exactly! I can't see why some people are getting so worked up about something that can easily be deleted in a second with one click of a mouse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Surprisingly enough, we are surprised that you are bothered so much that we don't like winks.
In answer to your statement _ingjay no one should have to tolerate what they have said they do not like. And you question maturity levels?
It seems that you guys think we are not allowed to say so.
Please guys, get over it and stop arguing with views that we are perfectly entitled to.
Not once have we criticised yours however you seem to disagree with ours.
We all have a choice.
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"Winks are for bi/gay guys that fancy their chances with a straight guy, I'm constantly getting winks from them!"
Surely you mean winks are for straight profile guys to show they really like men too ? Lol.
Thats what my winks show
To me a wink is interest. A wink back is mutual interest which should then lead to the original winker sending a flirtatious message but only if that wink was meant as more than admiration of your profile etc.?
Hey each winker to their own interpretation
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Winks are for bi/gay guys that fancy their chances with a straight guy, I'm constantly getting winks from them!
Surely you mean winks are for straight profile guys to show they really like men too ? Lol.
Thats what my winks show
To me a wink is interest. A wink back is mutual interest which should then lead to the original winker sending a flirtatious message but only if that wink was meant as more than admiration of your profile etc.?
Hey each winker to their own interpretation
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Yeeeeehhhhhhh common sense prevails!!!
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