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Asking a lady for a meet....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Its been an interesting few days...if not few weeks.
Maybe I am just too old fashioned or maybe a bit shy in real life...or a bit of both?
But guys seem perfectly happy to chat away etc...sometimes days on end...then leave it till its really a bit late in the day to ask if we can meet up...even though they arent busy that night??? why can't ask a bit earlier if they are so keen.....which for days they tell me they are? I can only assume I am 4th, 5th.....last option???? God!
I guess some of you will tell me I should make the first move but its just not my style...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its been an interesting few days...if not few weeks.
Maybe I am just too old fashioned or maybe a bit shy in real life...or a bit of both?
But guys seem perfectly happy to chat away etc...sometimes days on end...then leave it till its really a bit late in the day to ask if we can meet up...even though they arent busy that night??? why can't ask a bit earlier if they are so keen.....which for days they tell me they are? I can only assume I am 4th, 5th.....last option???? God!
I guess some of you will tell me I should make the first move but its just not my style......"
2nd for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lol.....just as well I am not relying on FAB for my self esteem! God!  "
Maybe they needed a few drinks , Paula hates guys that want to talk for ages, on chat or by text.
Best thing to do is to make a time for a quick cup of coffee, with a 30 minute time limit during the day .
If they can't be arsed to meet they just want to come round empty their balls and go or chat as a friend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know exactly what you mean. I can be just getting ready for bed. Dog sorted. Make up off. Jammies on and then they ask if I'm free now. I always think maybe the football,had just finished.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have a rule that I dont play on first meet. Social meet only at first. I know lots of people do this too.
So even today a guy messages me ...all keen to meet tonight. He was let down by someone who cancelled. So I told him about my 'first meet rule' He said fine and actually had that on his profile that he didnt object to a social meet only for first meets.
But then proceeded to try and 'persuade' me to agree to drive to a pub close to his (nearly an hours drive from me!. Clearly he had no intention of making any effort! ) and then go back to his afterwards! I remind him again of my rule and what he states on his profile but he says he wants sex because he hasn't had any for 2 months and if I only want a social meet, I can try eharmony! Then he blocks me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a rule that I dont play on first meet. Social meet only at first. I know lots of people do this too.
So even today a guy messages me ...all keen to meet tonight. He was let down by someone who cancelled. So I told him about my 'first meet rule' He said fine and actually had that on his profile that he didnt object to a social meet only for first meets.
But then proceeded to try and 'persuade' me to agree to drive to a pub close to his (nearly an hours drive from me!. Clearly he had no intention of making any effort! ) and then go back to his afterwards! I remind him again of my rule and what he states on his profile but he says he wants sex because he hasn't had any for 2 months and if I only want a social meet, I can try eharmony! Then he blocks me! "
We must lose so many potential meets because we ask for a social first |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have a rule that I dont play on first meet. Social meet only at first. I know lots of people do this too.
So even today a guy messages me ...all keen to meet tonight. He was let down by someone who cancelled. So I told him about my 'first meet rule' He said fine and actually had that on his profile that he didnt object to a social meet only for first meets.
But then proceeded to try and 'persuade' me to agree to drive to a pub close to his (nearly an hours drive from me!. Clearly he had no intention of making any effort! ) and then go back to his afterwards! I remind him again of my rule and what he states on his profile but he says he wants sex because he hasn't had any for 2 months and if I only want a social meet, I can try eharmony! Then he blocks me!
We must lose so many potential meets because we ask for a social first "
Well maybe..and thats the risk I take.
But I just find 1:1 meets where there is an 'expectation or very high hope, presumption etc....that we will have sex...too pressured and unsexy. Just a personal thing.
Theres also the issue of where....as because I am single and live alone ..I am anxious about inviting a stranger to my home or going to a strangers house.
These things might seem odd to some people but I prefer to see if there is mutual attraction first and enjoy the build up.....
Am I unusual? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a rule that I dont play on first meet. Social meet only at first. I know lots of people do this too.
So even today a guy messages me ...all keen to meet tonight. He was let down by someone who cancelled. So I told him about my 'first meet rule' He said fine and actually had that on his profile that he didnt object to a social meet only for first meets.
But then proceeded to try and 'persuade' me to agree to drive to a pub close to his (nearly an hours drive from me!. Clearly he had no intention of making any effort! ) and then go back to his afterwards! I remind him again of my rule and what he states on his profile but he says he wants sex because he hasn't had any for 2 months and if I only want a social meet, I can try eharmony! Then he blocks me! "
He's obviously a fuckin idiot |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have a rule that I dont play on first meet. Social meet only at first. I know lots of people do this too.
So even today a guy messages me ...all keen to meet tonight. He was let down by someone who cancelled. So I told him about my 'first meet rule' He said fine and actually had that on his profile that he didnt object to a social meet only for first meets.
But then proceeded to try and 'persuade' me to agree to drive to a pub close to his (nearly an hours drive from me!. Clearly he had no intention of making any effort! ) and then go back to his afterwards! I remind him again of my rule and what he states on his profile but he says he wants sex because he hasn't had any for 2 months and if I only want a social meet, I can try eharmony! Then he blocks me!
He's obviously a fuckin idiot "
Yep!!! And judging on the past few days...they seem to be multiplying! Lol x  |
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"I have a rule that I dont play on first meet. Social meet only at first. I know lots of people do this too.
So even today a guy messages me ...all keen to meet tonight. He was let down by someone who cancelled. So I told him about my 'first meet rule' He said fine and actually had that on his profile that he didnt object to a social meet only for first meets.
But then proceeded to try and 'persuade' me to agree to drive to a pub close to his (nearly an hours drive from me!. Clearly he had no intention of making any effort! ) and then go back to his afterwards! I remind him again of my rule and what he states on his profile but he says he wants sex because he hasn't had any for 2 months and if I only want a social meet, I can try eharmony! Then he blocks me!
He's obviously a fuckin idiot
Yep!!! And judging on the past few days...they seem to be multiplying! Lol x "
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"Its been an interesting few days...if not few weeks.
Maybe I am just too old fashioned or maybe a bit shy in real life...or a bit of both?
But guys seem perfectly happy to chat away etc...sometimes days on end...then leave it till its really a bit late in the day to ask if we can meet up...even though they arent busy that night??? why can't ask a bit earlier if they are so keen.....which for days they tell me they are? I can only assume I am 4th, 5th.....last option???? God!
I guess some of you will tell me I should make the first move but its just not my style......"
Guys are useless at planning ahead I have decided, sometimes I think they wait until they feel a throbbing sensation and then think 'Oh, I need to arrange a meet....!!!' I've had two fireman and a soldier ask me to turn out again just since I've come in from dancing! Hahaha!
 |
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"Its been an interesting few days...if not few weeks.
Maybe I am just too old fashioned or maybe a bit shy in real life...or a bit of both?
But guys seem perfectly happy to chat away etc...sometimes days on end...then leave it till its really a bit late in the day to ask if we can meet up...even though they arent busy that night??? why can't ask a bit earlier if they are so keen.....which for days they tell me they are? I can only assume I am 4th, 5th.....last option???? God!
I guess some of you will tell me I should make the first move but its just not my style......
Guys are useless at planning ahead I have decided, sometimes I think they wait until they feel a throbbing sensation and then think 'Oh, I need to arrange a meet....!!!' I've had two fireman and a soldier ask me to turn out again just since I've come in from dancing! Hahaha!
"
But I don't mind - that's just young men for you, you just have to laugh and say sorry, not now! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Its been an interesting few days...if not few weeks.
Maybe I am just too old fashioned or maybe a bit shy in real life...or a bit of both?
But guys seem perfectly happy to chat away etc...sometimes days on end...then leave it till its really a bit late in the day to ask if we can meet up...even though they arent busy that night??? why can't ask a bit earlier if they are so keen.....which for days they tell me they are? I can only assume I am 4th, 5th.....last option???? God!
I guess some of you will tell me I should make the first move but its just not my style......
Guys are useless at planning ahead I have decided, sometimes I think they wait until they feel a throbbing sensation and then think 'Oh, I need to arrange a meet....!!!' I've had two fireman and a soldier ask me to turn out again just since I've come in from dancing! Hahaha!
"
I try to plan ahead with my throbbing sensations! Lol! At least to give myself half a chance that I might get some relief! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have a rule that I dont play on first meet. Social meet only at first. I know lots of people do this too.
So even today a guy messages me ...all keen to meet tonight. He was let down by someone who cancelled. So I told him about my 'first meet rule' He said fine and actually had that on his profile that he didnt object to a social meet only for first meets.
But then proceeded to try and 'persuade' me to agree to drive to a pub close to his (nearly an hours drive from me!. Clearly he had no intention of making any effort! ) and then go back to his afterwards! I remind him again of my rule and what he states on his profile but he says he wants sex because he hasn't had any for 2 months and if I only want a social meet, I can try eharmony! Then he blocks me!
We must lose so many potential meets because we ask for a social first
Well maybe..and thats the risk I take.
But I just find 1:1 meets where there is an 'expectation or very high hope, presumption etc....that we will have sex...too pressured and unsexy. Just a personal thing.
Theres also the issue of where....as because I am single and live alone ..I am anxious about inviting a stranger to my home or going to a strangers house.
These things might seem odd to some people but I prefer to see if there is mutual attraction first and enjoy the build up.....
Am I unusual? "
No you are not, I like to meet socially first, if there is an attraction and the opportunity to play, a bonus and then I don't feel obligated or pushed into playing with someone nor they see me as something to use to empty their ball sacks cos their horny  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have a rule that I dont play on first meet. Social meet only at first. I know lots of people do this too.
So even today a guy messages me ...all keen to meet tonight. He was let down by someone who cancelled. So I told him about my 'first meet rule' He said fine and actually had that on his profile that he didnt object to a social meet only for first meets.
But then proceeded to try and 'persuade' me to agree to drive to a pub close to his (nearly an hours drive from me!. Clearly he had no intention of making any effort! ) and then go back to his afterwards! I remind him again of my rule and what he states on his profile but he says he wants sex because he hasn't had any for 2 months and if I only want a social meet, I can try eharmony! Then he blocks me! "
I prefer a social first too. But not the only reason I lose out I think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have lots of keen guys but oddly enough, they are not free, cancel meets with piss poor excuses or just don't respond to my message of 'just checking we are still on for today' so in reality, 7/10 don't want to meet and 3/10 only want to meet when they are free but not when I am |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have lots of keen guys but oddly enough, they are not free, cancel meets with piss poor excuses or just don't respond to my message of 'just checking we are still on for today' so in reality, 7/10 don't want to meet and 3/10 only want to meet when they are free but not when I am "
this always makes me think guys don't really want to meet at all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a rule that I dont play on first meet. Social meet only at first. I know lots of people do this too.
So even today a guy messages me ...all keen to meet tonight. He was let down by someone who cancelled. So I told him about my 'first meet rule' He said fine and actually had that on his profile that he didnt object to a social meet only for first meets.
But then proceeded to try and 'persuade' me to agree to drive to a pub close to his (nearly an hours drive from me!. Clearly he had no intention of making any effort! ) and then go back to his afterwards! I remind him again of my rule and what he states on his profile but he says he wants sex because he hasn't had any for 2 months and if I only want a social meet, I can try eharmony! Then he blocks me!
We must lose so many potential meets because we ask for a social first
Well maybe..and thats the risk I take.
But I just find 1:1 meets where there is an 'expectation or very high hope, presumption etc....that we will have sex...too pressured and unsexy. Just a personal thing.
Theres also the issue of where....as because I am single and live alone ..I am anxious about inviting a stranger to my home or going to a strangers house.
These things might seem odd to some people but I prefer to see if there is mutual attraction first and enjoy the build up.....
Am I unusual? "
No you are definitely not unusual!! As a single fem you have to think of your safety first. If a single guy doesn't understand the importance if a social meet; checking mutual attraction, safety etc then they should be on hookersrus.
Don't compromise or lower your standards. There are decent single men on here but, unfortunately, they are outweighed by the dick heads.
And finally you are stunning so it was his loss. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that by asking to meet at a time that you will almost certainly say no, some single men can blame you for their lack of success and can continue kidding themselves that they are genuine and not just fantasists getting off on the thrill of the chase. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think that by asking to meet at a time that you will almost certainly say no, some single men can blame you for their lack of success and can continue kidding themselves that they are genuine and not just fantasists getting off on the thrill of the chase.
Mr and Mrs doom and gloom as always"
Why doom and gloom They have a point and it does happen. I had the same man who 'apparently' lived in my village offer to come round to my house twice at 11.30pm even though I ask for a social first. He then proceeded to throw it back in my face as Id refused a meet, twice!
I took great pleasures in googling his newly uploaded pics to find they were stolen from a website and reporting him as a fake! Genuine men who want to meet will arrange properly and will comply to a social meet!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a rule that I dont play on first meet. Social meet only at first. I know lots of people do this too.
So even today a guy messages me ...all keen to meet tonight. He was let down by someone who cancelled. So I told him about my 'first meet rule' He said fine and actually had that on his profile that he didnt object to a social meet only for first meets.
But then proceeded to try and 'persuade' me to agree to drive to a pub close to his (nearly an hours drive from me!. Clearly he had no intention of making any effort! ) and then go back to his afterwards! I remind him again of my rule and what he states on his profile but he says he wants sex because he hasn't had any for 2 months and if I only want a social meet, I can try eharmony! Then he blocks me! "
Wow well i agree on a social meet first just makes sense and you look stunning you would be my first choice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think that by asking to meet at a time that you will almost certainly say no, some single men can blame you for their lack of success and can continue kidding themselves that they are genuine and not just fantasists getting off on the thrill of the chase."
Me jason loves the social side of this, the meeting I like the chatting and talking, and even more importantly I would rather meet someone who wants. A social first I like to date ( probably the wrong describing word ) . Having the presumption that a woman would want to just turn up and have sex from a chat room meeting is not my cup of tea. So basically the type of girls I find for myself are usually singles who want a relationship and usually go mental when they find I am in a relationship. I don't say I am in a relationship as it just puts them off straight away,
I like bowling, playing pool , coffee shops, new forest pubs , gay bars , pilgrim house, ( will mean something if you live in southampton) live music, I would rather seduce a girl Like dating (probably the wrong word again) than get a guaranteed fuck from a sex site.
Paula on the other hand want to make sure she fancies them, they have a big cock and that they are confident enough to be able to get her , without being creepy weirdoes , I have no idea how her brain works .
But one thing I did find out in my life , when you go out on a date or meet "the woman knows if she is going to be lucky , the guy hopes he is going to be lucky ".
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have lots of keen guys but oddly enough, they are not free, cancel meets with piss poor excuses or just don't respond to my message of 'just checking we are still on for today' so in reality, 7/10 don't want to meet and 3/10 only want to meet when they are free but not when I am
this always makes me think guys don't really want to meet at all "
Yep cos its Sunday and I am free, not bothered to send any messages to meet anyone because they won't want to so I shall waste the day away in my dressing gown |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have lots of keen guys but oddly enough, they are not free, cancel meets with piss poor excuses or just don't respond to my message of 'just checking we are still on for today' so in reality, 7/10 don't want to meet and 3/10 only want to meet when they are free but not when I am
this always makes me think guys don't really want to meet at all
Yep cos its Sunday and I am free, not bothered to send any messages to meet anyone because they won't want to so I shall waste the day away in my dressing gown"
I am free too, am going clothes shopping , and have lunch out on my own , it's a lot less hassle than trying to get a meet on a Sunday , |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we get that all the time (not off guys, but people in general) and we always think its probably because all the full swap couples are busy and there is only us softies left, so they would take something rather than be on their own
never works though, we would rather have a nice relaxed evening rather than a hurried last minute scramble |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its been an interesting few days...if not few weeks.
Maybe I am just too old fashioned or maybe a bit shy in real life...or a bit of both?
But guys seem perfectly happy to chat away etc...sometimes days on end...then leave it till its really a bit late in the day to ask if we can meet up...even though they arent busy that night??? why can't ask a bit earlier if they are so keen.....which for days they tell me they are? I can only assume I am 4th, 5th.....last option???? God!
I guess some of you will tell me I should make the first move but its just not my style......"
Not my 5th choice....just a shame so far away. No days of chat etc.... Can we meet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm never sure when to ask for a meet, when I'm getting along well with someone when's the right time to ask without seeming over keen or "pushy"??"
Women are all mental , leave it too long and you are friend, do it too soon and your a creepy sex pest .
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"I'm never sure when to ask for a meet, when I'm getting along well with someone when's the right time to ask without seeming over keen or "pushy"??"
I don't see why any woman would be offended by being asked to meet - just saying 'You sound great, would you like to meet?' isn't pushy at all, and if she is not ready she can just say so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have lots of keen guys but oddly enough, they are not free, cancel meets with piss poor excuses or just don't respond to my message of 'just checking we are still on for today' so in reality, 7/10 don't want to meet and 3/10 only want to meet when they are free but not when I am
this always makes me think guys don't really want to meet at all
Yep cos its Sunday and I am free, not bothered to send any messages to meet anyone because they won't want to so I shall waste the day away in my dressing gown
I am free too, am going clothes shopping , and have lunch out on my own , it's a lot less hassle than trying to get a meet on a Sunday , "
I'm staying in pj's too am doing exciting housework I didn't do yesterday as went to family party |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have men asking to meet straight away on a first message..even though my profile says I prefer to get to know someone a bit first and cant drop everything at a moments notice lol..obviously cant read... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have men asking to meet straight away on a first message..even though my profile says I prefer to get to know someone a bit first and cant drop everything at a moments notice lol..obviously cant read..."
I had one earlier he so obviously couldn't read |
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By *onny BonesMan
over a year ago
a block away from heaven |
Can I first say that if the OP is 4th or 5th choice then some of the men on here are being spoilt!
I am one of those who is partial for seeking late night, last minute meets. I don't seem to be able to schedule when I will be horny. Like the OP (and many of you I'm sure) I don't just rely on FAB for sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's the one's that think I am sitting here dressed in my lingerie, just waiting for that message that says 'In hotel now'"
This is how I imagine all women.  |
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"I'm never sure when to ask for a meet, when I'm getting along well with someone when's the right time to ask without seeming over keen or "pushy"??
I don't see why any woman would be offended by being asked to meet - just saying 'You sound great, would you like to meet?' isn't pushy at all, and if she is not ready she can just say so. "
Damned if you do, damed if you don't. I find myself doind the asking if I like the woman/man. |
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littlekitten68 firstly anyone who see's you as anything but a first option needs to go to specsaavers. Suppose that comment will please you but annoy all the other gorgious women on here. sorry ladies
secondly a social meet is a great way to break the ice and if either of you decide that you don't do it for each other then no one goes away dissapointed. A drink is a drink and nothing more.
Thirdly you decide how you want to conduct meetings no one else.
as the bloke who rang you up for a meet because he had been let down -cheeky twat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm never sure when to ask for a meet, when I'm getting along well with someone when's the right time to ask without seeming over keen or "pushy"??
Women are all mental , leave it too long and you are friend, do it too soon and your a creepy sex pest .
"
Soooo true!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Littlekitten68 I would happily chat to you and ask to meet but I am blocked due to out of your age range. I don't prirortise. Will fab your pics though. |
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"I have a rule that I dont play on first meet. Social meet only at first. I know lots of people do this too.
So even today a guy messages me ...all keen to meet tonight. He was let down by someone who cancelled. So I told him about my 'first meet rule' Hee said fine and actually had that on his profile that he didnt object to a social meet only for first meets.
But then proceeded to try and 'persuade' me to agree to drive to a pub close to his (nearly an hours drive from me!. Clearly he had no intention of making any effort! ) and then go back to his afterwards! I remind him again of my rule and what he states on his profile but he says he wants sex because he hasn't had any for 2 months and if I only want a social meet, I can try eharmony! Then he blocks me! "
I had same thing happen to,me, spent all day messaging, then texting and then chatting on phone he invited me to his house. said I did socials for first meet, said ok meet socially at his house, explained to him again did socials only first meet, he got annoyed, I said women have to be careful and need to feel safe when meeting someone for the first time. he got angry/annoyed, told me to try Match.com then blocked me! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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There would appear to be a theory that 'some' guys have about social meets being equivalent (in their eyes! ) to a date...with their sarcastic quips that we should try dating sites if we request a social only on first meet??????
If they are looking for a woman to drop her knickers at any hour they choose, turn up at their house on demand and give them the night of their lives, there are women who offer that service for a charge but this isnt the website!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I often feel that if I ask too soon I am labelled pushy. So I just go with the flow."
My point ...and shared by many on this thread, is that often we are experiencing guys who leave it until a late hour of night to ask if we will go and meet them....then and there! Annoying when they had all day of chatting to us, to ask earlier. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm never sure when to ask for a meet, when I'm getting along well with someone when's the right time to ask without seeming over keen or "pushy"??
Women are all mental , leave it too long and you are friend, do it too soon and your a creepy sex pest .
"
Women are ALL mental????? |
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"I have a rule that I dont play on first meet. Social meet only at first. I know lots of people do this too.
So even today a guy messages me ...all keen to meet tonight. He was let down by someone who cancelled. So I told him about my 'first meet rule' Hee said fine and actually had that on his profile that he didnt object to a social meet only for first meets.
But then proceeded to try and 'persuade' me to agree to drive to a pub close to his (nearly an hours drive from me!. Clearly he had no intention of making any effort! ) and then go back to his afterwards! I remind him again of my rule and what he states on his profile but he says he wants sex because he hasn't had any for 2 months and if I only want a social meet, I can try eharmony! Then he blocks me!
I had same thing happen to,me, spent all day messaging, then texting and then chatting on phone he invited me to his house. said I did socials for first meet, said ok meet socially at his house, explained to him again did socials only first meet, he got annoyed, I said women have to be careful and need to feel safe when meeting someone for the first time. he got angry/annoyed, told me to try Match.com then blocked me!"
Why are you upset? It is a bloody good thing he did ignore you and run away because he is clearly a tosser with no respect for what you want. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have a rule that I dont play on first meet. Social meet only at first. I know lots of people do this too.
So even today a guy messages me ...all keen to meet tonight. He was let down by someone who cancelled. So I told him about my 'first meet rule' Hee said fine and actually had that on his profile that he didnt object to a social meet only for first meets.
But then proceeded to try and 'persuade' me to agree to drive to a pub close to his (nearly an hours drive from me!. Clearly he had no intention of making any effort! ) and then go back to his afterwards! I remind him again of my rule and what he states on his profile but he says he wants sex because he hasn't had any for 2 months and if I only want a social meet, I can try eharmony! Then he blocks me!
I had same thing happen to,me, spent all day messaging, then texting and then chatting on phone he invited me to his house. said I did socials for first meet, said ok meet socially at his house, explained to him again did socials only first meet, he got annoyed, I said women have to be careful and need to feel safe when meeting someone for the first time. he got angry/annoyed, told me to try Match.com then blocked me!
Why are you upset? It is a bloody good thing he did ignore you and run away because he is clearly a tosser with no respect for what you want."
Not upset at all! Just raising the point about how so many men behave....maybe some might read this and reflect......although probably not! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never know when to ask and i rarely do. Even though we may have been speaking for months, maybe even longer (i know).
I just don't want to seem too pushy or whatever. I always think to myself they know why i'm here...so usually wait for them to ask me.
That has been my downfall on here i think. But, you live and learn. And this year, i thought i'd pull my socks up and i'd just ask.
Yet, distance and age is still the first barrier. Not many are comfortable with the whole distance thing i don't think.
But, that's just my take on things from the years i've been on here.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women are ALL mental?????
I'm confused as to why you added question marks.
Sorry...I had quoted an earlier post which I didnt understand. "
Hah sorry, I was jokingly insinuating (albeit poorly) that it was a fact. |
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"Its been an interesting few days...if not few weeks.
Maybe I am just too old fashioned or maybe a bit shy in real life...or a bit of both?
But guys seem perfectly happy to chat away etc...sometimes days on end...then leave it till its really a bit late in the day to ask if we can meet up...even though they arent busy that night??? why can't ask a bit earlier if they are so keen.....which for days they tell me they are? I can only assume I am 4th, 5th.....last option???? God!
I guess some of you will tell me I should make the first move but its just not my style......"
hey maybe some guys just didn't want to come accross as a pushy guy and get blocked for asking too quick
#JustSaying |
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By *vatar22Man
over a year ago
pontefract |
I don't mind having the first meet as a social meet, at least you know if your both compatible, but I can't even seem to get a social meet recently 
Maybe this year I'm doing something wrong, or some guys have ruined it for the rest of us |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think some of you guys are confusing 'being too pushy' with leaving it until late at night to ask! Your chances of her saying yes...are decidedly less likely! !!!!!
Surely if you want to meet, you are free and you know she is free too..AND you have established that fact hours or even days before hand. ..why leave it till 10.30pm to ask if she will meet that same night????? Surely not that difficult! Its got nothing to do with being pushy..thats just common curtsey! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Its been an interesting few days...if not few weeks.
Maybe I am just too old fashioned or maybe a bit shy in real life...or a bit of both?
But guys seem perfectly happy to chat away etc...sometimes days on end...then leave it till its really a bit late in the day to ask if we can meet up...even though they arent busy that night??? why can't ask a bit earlier if they are so keen.....which for days they tell me they are? I can only assume I am 4th, 5th.....last option???? God!
I guess some of you will tell me I should make the first move but its just not my style......
hey maybe some guys just didn't want to come accross as a pushy guy and get blocked for asking too quick
#JustSaying "
Too quick? ??? 10.30pm???? What were you doing all day?????
Don't answer that! |
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"I think some of you guys are confusing 'being too pushy' with leaving it until late at night to ask! Your chances of her saying yes...are decidedly less likely! !!!!!
Surely if you want to meet, you are free and you know she is free too..AND you have established that fact hours or even days before hand. ..why leave it till 10.30pm to ask if she will meet that same night????? Surely not that difficult! Its got nothing to do with being pushy..thats just common curtsey! "
well why did you wait hours to be asked?? you should of just asked him then i know you said "it's not your style" but hey what's the worst that can happen?
it works both was there is no golden rule on here that says the man must always ask to meet up |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think some of you guys are confusing 'being too pushy' with leaving it until late at night to ask! Your chances of her saying yes...are decidedly less likely! !!!!!
Surely if you want to meet, you are free and you know she is free too..AND you have established that fact hours or even days before hand. ..why leave it till 10.30pm to ask if she will meet that same night????? Surely not that difficult! Its got nothing to do with being pushy..thats just common curtsey!
well why did you wait hours to be asked?? you should of just asked him then i know you said "it's not your style" but hey what's the worst that can happen?
it works both was there is no golden rule on here that says the man must always ask to meet up "
You are assuming I am talking about people I WANT to meet only. It happens regardless!
But no....I never ask a guy to meet me. It isnt my style! I dont care if that doesnt suit the modern way! That's me! The point is...they had no problem asking.....it was the TIME they choose to ask!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like you posted a social should be for social purposes only and to get a feel for the person you have been talking to and also to see if there may be a sexual spark that you can enjoy at a later point.
Imagine turning up and trying to play from the off when you can not even communicate properly with the person you are with. That would be plain awkward and not enjoyable for all who are concerned.
Everyone should stick with what makes them happy as this is supposed to be fun after all.. |
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"I have a rule that I dont play on first meet. Social meet only at first. I know lots of people do this too.
So even today a guy messages me ...all keen to meet tonight. He was let down by someone who cancelled. So I told him about my 'first meet rule' He said fine and actually had that on his profile that he didnt object to a social meet only for first meets.
But then proceeded to try and 'persuade' me to agree to drive to a pub close to his (nearly an hours drive from me!. Clearly he had no intention of making any effort! ) and then go back to his afterwards! I remind him again of my rule and what he states on his profile but he says he wants sex because he hasn't had any for 2 months and if I only want a social meet, I can try eharmony! Then he blocks me!
We must lose so many potential meets because we ask for a social first
Well maybe..and thats the risk I take.
But I just find 1:1 meets where there is an 'expectation or very high hope, presumption etc....that we will have sex...too pressured and unsexy. Just a personal thing.
Theres also the issue of where....as because I am single and live alone ..I am anxious about inviting a stranger to my home or going to a strangers house.
These things might seem odd to some people but I prefer to see if there is mutual attraction first and enjoy the build up.....
Am I unusual? "
No, you're not. It wouldn't cross my mind to meet a stranger "now" in my home or there's. It's never been open to negotiations, it's made absolutely clear. If they can't understand: block! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Like you posted a social should be for social purposes only and to get a feel for the person you have been talking to and also to see if there may be a sexual spark that you can enjoy at a later point.
Imagine turning up and trying to play from the off when you can not even communicate properly with the person you are with. That would be plain awkward and not enjoyable for all who are concerned.
Everyone should stick with what makes them happy as this is supposed to be fun after all.."
Agreed! And a social meet should be at a social time! I am clear on my profile that I only do social meets first so if they are leaving it to message me at such a late hour...they didnt read my profile for a start or there must be a lot of cafes open at 11pm where they live! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Like you posted a social should be for social purposes only and to get a feel for the person you have been talking to and also to see if there may be a sexual spark that you can enjoy at a later point.
Imagine turning up and trying to play from the off when you can not even communicate properly with the person you are with. That would be plain awkward and not enjoyable for all who are concerned.
Everyone should stick with what makes them happy as this is supposed to be fun after all..
Agreed! And a social meet should be at a social time! I am clear on my profile that I only do social meets first so if they are leaving it to message me at such a late hour...they didnt read my profile for a start or there must be a lot of cafes open at 11pm where they live! "
lol there must be and if there is not I might have found the little gap in the market I have been looking for and I could open up a chain of cafe to serve the men of fabs who leave it to late to message ladies
I could call it the 11 hour cafe |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have a rule that I dont play on first meet. Social meet only at first. I know lots of people do this too.
So even today a guy messages me ...all keen to meet tonight. He was let down by someone who cancelled. So I told him about my 'first meet rule' He said fine and actually had that on his profile that he didnt object to a social meet only for first meets.
But then proceeded to try and 'persuade' me to agree to drive to a pub close to his (nearly an hours drive from me!. Clearly he had no intention of making any effort! ) and then go back to his afterwards! I remind him again of my rule and what he states on his profile but he says he wants sex because he hasn't had any for 2 months and if I only want a social meet, I can try eharmony! Then he blocks me!
We must lose so many potential meets because we ask for a social first
Well maybe..and thats the risk I take.
But I just find 1:1 meets where there is an 'expectation or very high hope, presumption etc....that we will have sex...too pressured and unsexy. Just a personal thing.
Theres also the issue of where....as because I am single and live alone ..I am anxious about inviting a stranger to my home or going to a strangers house.
These things might seem odd to some people but I prefer to see if there is mutual attraction first and enjoy the build up.....
Am I unusual?
No, you're not. It wouldn't cross my mind to meet a stranger "now" in my home or there's. It's never been open to negotiations, it's made absolutely clear. If they can't understand: block!"
I wonder if anyone has had a bad experience where they felt in danger because they agreed to a first meet in theirs or his home. I haven't read any stories but I imagine they wouldn't make good reading and more appropriate for the police! Personally I an not so desperate for sex that I would jeopardise my personal safety. Guys who respect that have a FAR better likelihood of getting what they want in the end...instead of pushing the issue as so many do! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have a rule that I dont play on first meet. Social meet only at first. I know lots of people do this too.
So even today a guy messages me ...all keen to meet tonight. He was let down by someone who cancelled. So I told him about my 'first meet rule' He said fine and actually had that on his profile that he didnt object to a social meet only for first meets.
But then proceeded to try and 'persuade' me to agree to drive to a pub close to his (nearly an hours drive from me!. Clearly he had no intention of making any effort! ) and then go back to his afterwards! I remind him again of my rule and what he states on his profile but he says he wants sex because he hasn't had any for 2 months and if I only want a social meet, I can try eharmony! Then he blocks me!
We must lose so many potential meets because we ask for a social first
Well maybe..and thats the risk I take.
But I just find 1:1 meets where there is an 'expectation or very high hope, presumption etc....that we will have sex...too pressured and unsexy. Just a personal thing.
Theres also the issue of where....as because I am single and live alone ..I am anxious about inviting a stranger to my home or going to a strangers house.
These things might seem odd to some people but I prefer to see if there is mutual attraction first and enjoy the build up.....
Am I unusual?
No, you're not. It wouldn't cross my mind to meet a stranger "now" in my home or there's. It's never been open to negotiations, it's made absolutely clear. If they can't understand: block!
I wonder if anyone has had a bad experience where they felt in danger because they agreed to a first meet in theirs or his home. I haven't read any stories but I imagine they wouldn't make good reading and more appropriate for the police! Personally I an not so desperate for sex that I would jeopardise my personal safety. Guys who respect that have a FAR better likelihood of getting what they want in the end...instead of pushing the issue as so many do!"
Well your personal safety is paramount really and the good things in life are really worth waiting for so the social means if there is a connection and an agreed further meet down the line that just goes towards the heightened sexual tension between the two people leading up to the second meet. And also this is just me but I think a hotel meet for the 1st few times before you go to someones home is a great idea as neutral ground where you can relax and get to know them better. |
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"I think some of you guys are confusing 'being too pushy' with leaving it until late at night to ask! Your chances of her saying yes...are decidedly less likely! !!!!!
Surely if you want to meet, you are free and you know she is free too..AND you have established that fact hours or even days before hand. ..why leave it till 10.30pm to ask if she will meet that same night????? Surely not that difficult! Its got nothing to do with being pushy..thats just common curtsey!
well why did you wait hours to be asked?? you should of just asked him then i know you said "it's not your style" but hey what's the worst that can happen?
it works both was there is no golden rule on here that says the man must always ask to meet up
You are assuming I am talking about people I WANT to meet only. It happens regardless!
But no....I never ask a guy to meet me. It isnt my style! I dont care if that doesnt suit the modern way! That's me! The point is...they had no problem asking.....it was the TIME they choose to ask!!!"
and my point was if they asked too soon they may come accross as pushy that's all i didn't say it was fine or ok to ask at 10:30pm or later in the day i just said a possible reason for it that's all.
you have your style and don't change it for anything or anyone unless you want to but don't moan because somebody else hasn't got the same style as you and asked you for a meet as quick as you wanted because that is what this thread is really about
p.s. I'M NOT ASSUMING ANYTHING!!!!
(see i can use them too)
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think some of you guys are confusing 'being too pushy' with leaving it until late at night to ask! Your chances of her saying yes...are decidedly less likely! !!!!!
Surely if you want to meet, you are free and you know she is free too..AND you have established that fact hours or even days before hand. ..why leave it till 10.30pm to ask if she will meet that same night????? Surely not that difficult! Its got nothing to do with being pushy..thats just common curtsey!
well why did you wait hours to be asked?? you should of just asked him then i know you said "it's not your style" but hey what's the worst that can happen?
it works both was there is no golden rule on here that says the man must always ask to meet up
You are assuming I am talking about people I WANT to meet only. It happens regardless!
But no....I never ask a guy to meet me. It isnt my style! I dont care if that doesnt suit the modern way! That's me! The point is...they had no problem asking.....it was the TIME they choose to ask!!!
and my point was if they asked too soon they may come accross as pushy that's all i didn't say it was fine or ok to ask at 10:30pm or later in the day i just said a possible reason for it that's all.
you have your style and don't change it for anything or anyone unless you want to but don't moan because somebody else hasn't got the same style as you and asked you for a meet as quick as you wanted because that is what this thread is really about
p.s. I'M NOT ASSUMING ANYTHING!!!!
(see i can use them too)
"
I don't think you have understood my original post at all! As always...these threads seem to take on a life of their own and suddenly someone is writing a completely different script!
Done with it. Night all! |
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"I think some of you guys are confusing 'being too pushy' with leaving it until late at night to ask! Your chances of her saying yes...are decidedly less likely! !!!!!
Surely if you want to meet, you are free and you know she is free too..AND you have established that fact hours or even days before hand. ..why leave it till 10.30pm to ask if she will meet that same night????? Surely not that difficult! Its got nothing to do with being pushy..thats just common curtsey!
well why did you wait hours to be asked?? you should of just asked him then i know you said "it's not your style" but hey what's the worst that can happen?
it works both was there is no golden rule on here that says the man must always ask to meet up
You are assuming I am talking about people I WANT to meet only. It happens regardless!
But no....I never ask a guy to meet me. It isnt my style! I dont care if that doesnt suit the modern way! That's me! The point is...they had no problem asking.....it was the TIME they choose to ask!!!
and my point was if they asked too soon they may come accross as pushy that's all i didn't say it was fine or ok to ask at 10:30pm or later in the day i just said a possible reason for it that's all.
you have your style and don't change it for anything or anyone unless you want to but don't moan because somebody else hasn't got the same style as you and asked you for a meet as quick as you wanted because that is what this thread is really about
p.s. I'M NOT ASSUMING ANYTHING!!!!
(see i can use them too)
I don't think you have understood my original post at all! As always...these threads seem to take on a life of their own and suddenly someone is writing a completely different script!
Done with it. Night all!"
no no no i fully understand but just don't agree with you that it is because your 4th 5th....last opition (as you put it) and there maybe a reason behind it that's all and seeing as many have put a similar answer to me think that says it all
anyway no hard feels good luck with your search hope you find what your looking for goodnight |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get it now lol sorry about my earlier post...that was off topic then.
And yeah, that is strange. I used to get people asking me to meet them at 1am. And the funny thing would be, these were people messaging me from outside of London.
Why on earth would i travel all the way to them at 1am? Especially outside of London.
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"Its been an interesting few days...if not few weeks.
Maybe I am just too old fashioned or maybe a bit shy in real life...or a bit of both?
But guys seem perfectly happy to chat away etc...sometimes days on end...then leave it till its really a bit late in the day to ask if we can meet up...even though they arent busy that night??? why can't ask a bit earlier if they are so keen.....which for days they tell me they are? I can only assume I am 4th, 5th.....last option???? God!
I guess some of you will tell me I should make the first move but its just not my style......"
From experience I've found asking a lady for a meet early on sends them running for the hills. I've been told they prefer to be engaged, chatted to, having their interest stirred, a process of events that can take days to weeks (in some cases, even months) as these ladies don't like to rush in, nor do they want to feel the guy is in a hurry to "shag and go".
So, I can see how some guys can chat away and (from my thinking) eventually summon the courage to ask, just to see if the chatter was leading anywhere or if the lady was just chatting to them to be polite, while getting her rocks off with other guys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wonder if anyone has had a bad experience where they felt in danger because they agreed to a first meet in theirs or his home. I haven't read any stories but I imagine they wouldn't make good reading and more appropriate for the police! Personally I an not so desperate for sex that I would jeopardise my personal safety. Guys who respect that have a FAR better likelihood of getting what they want in the end...instead of pushing the issue as so many do!"
An hours drive to be greeted by a broken toothed man looking nothing like his pics, his three (sounded like a hundred) vicious dogs trying to eat their way through the kitchen door, presumably to bite my throat and consume me in seconds, and furniture covered in dog slime...but at least it was a reasonable time of day lol...never again will I not have a social meet first!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get it now lol sorry about my earlier post...that was off topic then.
And yeah, that is strange. I used to get people asking me to meet them at 1am. And the funny thing would be, these were people messaging me from outside of London.
Why on earth would i travel all the way to them at 1am? Especially outside of London.
"
I've had one at 5am from a couple, wanted me to travel to theirs for some fun, would have taken me 2 hrs to get there |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Its been an interesting few days...if not few weeks.
Maybe I am just too old fashioned or maybe a bit shy in real life...or a bit of both?
But guys seem perfectly happy to chat away etc...sometimes days on end...then leave it till its really a bit late in the day to ask if we can meet up...even though they arent busy that night??? why can't ask a bit earlier if they are so keen.....which for days they tell me they are? I can only assume I am 4th, 5th.....last option???? God!
I guess some of you will tell me I should make the first move but its just not my style......
From experience I've found asking a lady for a meet early on sends them running for the hills. I've been told they prefer to be engaged, chatted to, having their interest stirred, a process of events that can take days to weeks (in some cases, even months) as these ladies don't like to rush in, nor do they want to feel the guy is in a hurry to "shag and go".
So, I can see how some guys can chat away and (from my thinking) eventually summon the courage to ask, just to see if the chatter was leading anywhere or if the lady was just chatting to them to be polite, while getting her rocks off with other guys "
Completely not the point I was making at all! Completely twisted around!
I am talking about men I have been chatting to for a while...not just 5 mimutes ago. I am NOT talking about askinh early on in a conversation when you have hardly exchanged two words!
By 'Early' I mean if you have been chatting for some time to someone ..why leave it till late at night or early hours of the morning to expect them to meet you????
Not sure why some are finding my point so difficult to understand.???
Read some of the examples of others and maybe you will understand what my thread is about.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Guys can't win, no matter what they do. It takes 2 people to make a meet...."
Its not difficult! If he has been chatting to her for a while, he shouldn't expect her to meet at 11pm at night! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys can't win, no matter what they do. It takes 2 people to make a meet....
Its not difficult! If he has been chatting to her for a while, he shouldn't expect her to meet at 11pm at night! "
Even if it was a mate, if he asked me to meet at that time I'd tell him to fuck right off! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Guys can't win, no matter what they do. It takes 2 people to make a meet....
Its not difficult! If he has been chatting to her for a while, he shouldn't expect her to meet at 11pm at night!
Even if it was a mate, if he asked me to meet at that time I'd tell him to fuck right off! "
Lol!!!! Quite right! |
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